The Creature : An Introduction
25 thoughts on “The Creature : An Introduction”
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https://narcsite.com/2020/04/28/the-creature-an-introduction-2/comment-page-1/#comment-427715
Yay! Thank you, HG 🙂 I, too, look forward to that, muchly 🙂
Mr. Tudor, in Chained you wrote about CoD’s having a creature. What about other empaths? Do they have a creature as well?
Leigh,
I think, genetically speaking, that Super Empaths are a hybrid. Therefore, I think they could possibly have a ‘creature”…of sorts.
Hmm? I’m minority super, majority standard but I don’t feel a creature, at least not the way that Mr. Tudor describes it. Most days I’m ok but every once in awhile, I feel like I’m inherently bad. Sometimes there is this overwhelming feeling that I’m really just a bad person trying to do good things to overcompensate for the bad person that I really am. Although, I don’t feel like I have to hurt other people to make myself feel better. Its the opposite, I feel like I have to help people to make myself feel better. I don’t need anyone to know that I’ve done something good. I don’t need a thank you or recognition. Just the act of doing it makes me feel better.
I wish I knew where that feeling stemmed from. I was the golden child for both of my parents so I don’t have self esteem issues. Maybe it is some sort of creature. Although it really doesn’t feel like that. Thanks for letting me talk it through.
Leigh,
You’re surrounded by narcissists. I think It would be totally normal for your own narcy traits to be lit up repeatedly as a result of their devaluing behaviour. Similarly, your empathic traits are likely fighting to keep a reign on your narcy traits. You might end up with a situation where you ‘think bad thoughts’ then the empathic side steps in, makes you feel guilty so then you try to compensate.
It could also be that your CoD element is the one that steps forward from the empathic side. The CoD can soak up a lot of abuse and you are being devalued by more than one narc. Maybe she is better placed to cope with it? The CoD gets validation from helping others. It’s a need to help, not a want to help. Essentially helping others in order to feel normal / like you again.
Just a few ideas to consider, I don’t know if they are right or wrong.
Xx
Sorry, I misread. Do you have any minority Co D element Leigh?
Hi TS, I have no CoD. Not one little drop. I think you’re on to something with this comment:
“You’re surrounded by narcissists. I think It would be totally normal for your own narcy traits to be lit up repeatedly as a result of their devaluing behaviour. Similarly, your empathic traits are likely fighting to keep a reign on your narcy traits. You might end up with a situation where you ‘think bad thoughts’ then the empathic side steps in, makes you feel guilty so then you try to compensate.”
Once I’m away from all these narcs hopefully the battle between good and bad traits coming to the fore will end.
TS, RE: your second paragraph, that is interesting to read. For sure, I was devalued by a number of narcissists at the same time = can be likened to them ganging-up and picking on one person. To someone who was unaware of narcissists (and how they ‘operate’), it did seem like they’d “planned” it. There is one time when such a narcissist at work had used “we need to get that person out” (from that higher-up MRN to that MRN – maybe it’s a lie, or truth, or triangulation with me). Looking back, it’s like ‘the pot calling the kettle black’, they were as bad as each other! In my view, it does not necessarily indicate that a Co-D is “better placed to deal with it” but used to being ‘abused’? Co-Ds do not necessarily get validation from helping others, sometimes, yes, sometimes, not. In my view, some Co-Ds ‘want’ to help, not necessarily ‘need’ to. RE: ”You might end up with a situation where you ‘think bad thoughts’ then the empathic side steps in, makes you feel guilty so then you try to compensate” – I’d be inclined to suggest this is not necessarily always the case, some do, others don’t. Maybe there are slight variations to ‘perceptions’ within schools / cadres of both empaths and narcissists (hence the classifications as such). It is more significantly marked with a high level of say a specific school compared to someone else who may have very little (or none) of that school, applying similar when it comes to the cadres? Add co-morbidities into the ‘mix’ (if any), it can lead to further difficulty to seeing the other ‘view’ because the understanding is not necessarily always there? Then again, that can be argued otherwise when the ‘differences’ are visible? These are just some thoughts (not ‘fixed’ thoughts). Good to read your comment, thank you 🙂
Leigh,
I think you are probably just doing your best to defend yourself. Those narcy traits aren’t always bad, they’re there to protect you too. Instead of concentrating on the bad thought or action, maybe think about what led up to you feeling that way. Who did you interact with? What happened during the interaction ? etc. You might find that these less charitable thoughts / responses can be traced right back to the similar situation / frustration each time.
If you’re juggling too many things, unsupported, taken for granted repeatedly, you’re going to tire, get frustrated, feel angry. Anyone would. That’s normal human behaviour.
I think you’re right. Once you can remove yourself, and your narcy traits aren’t being called upon to defend, they’ll shrink back, and you won’t feel so conflicted.
It does sound similar to CoD with the wanting to help side, but without CoD maybe it’s just you just trying to compensate for thoughts that you feel you ought not to be having as a ‘good’ person.
Xx
TS, Are you sure you want to delve into my brain? It’s a little scary in there, lol.
I questioned about ny being CoD too. Couple of things stand out for me. First and most importantly, Mr. Tudor said I wasn’t.
I also don’t feel guilt for most of my actions. The reason for that is must of my actions are well thought out. I do have geyser so I am impulsive and erupt sometimes but most of the time I think things through first. So an example would be workplace narc. I don’t feel guilty for workplace narc at all. Should I? Probably. The fact that I don’t is what makes me think I must be a bad person and then I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.
I also don’t need someone’s approval on a decision I’ve made. I make my own decisions and usually don’t want unsolicited advice. Although I’m not completely opposed to advice. There have been many times I’ve said, “Wow, I hadn’t thought of that. Thank you.” Most of the time though, I want things done the way I want things done.
I guess the wanting to help comes from my caretaker trait??? Its one my strongest traits.
Leigh, RE: “I also don’t feel guilt for most of my actions”- yes, I noticed, it does not mean they are well thought out. RE: “I don’t feel guilty for workplace narc at all. Should I? Probably” Yes, there should be some level of guilt for ‘cheating’ on your husband.
RE: “I make my own decisions and usually don’t want unsolicited advice” – HG created his blog partly for other people to respond to comments, there are those who are really struggling and sometimes do not ‘reach’ out for support because of such a statement possibly made by their narcissist.
You decided to stay with your husband and “no longer his fault you stay”.
RE: “There have been many times I’ve said, “Wow, I hadn’t thought of that. Thank you.”” – maybe it was said a long time ago, not recently.
RE: “Most of the time though, I want things done the way I want things done” – yes, I noticed.
RE: “I wish there was a dislike button. This is what upset me, “he has secondary sources that he is not having sex with yet.” Yet???? Ugh!”
Says the woman who has an affair while married to someone for around 35 years?
Oh, yes…..of course, I’ll add this link…..
https://narcsite.com/2019/03/23/skjoldmo-the-shieldmaiden/comment-page-3/#comment-257188 (referring to his ‘new dynamic’).
And this one…..
https://narcsite.com/2019/03/23/skjoldmo-the-shieldmaiden/comment-page-3/#comment-257920 RE: not cheating.
And this link……
https://narcsite.com/2019/03/23/skjoldmo-the-shieldmaiden/comment-page-3/#comment-280965 RE: telling the truth on his blog.
Oh, yes, this one too…..
https://narcsite.com/2019/02/19/the-dozen-of-dismay-10/#comment-247771 # 2 is particularly interesting.
Hypocrisy, much?
Integrity, much?
Contradictory, much?
Hey Asp 🙂
I think the school make up definitely has a lot to do with it yes. A pure CoD compared to a significant minority element CoD compared to an insignificant minority element will look very different in terms of the way the CoD behaviours might be expressed I think. I wonder if the percentage strength of the various school constituent parts represents how often those parts will show themselves or, to what intensity they’ll show, or duration of them showing ?etc etc.
I’m aware of when my different constituent parts are showing ( not referring to a nip slip here). In my case, my feeling is that my constituent schools are equally as strong when they take the lead but there is more preference of me using one school over the other, hence I have a lead school. Similarly, it’s situation / environment that seems to dictate which school steps forward. Who am I interacting with for example and what situation am I in? Stressful or non stressful? Family or work? So environment has an awful lot to do with which school has the lead at any given time. It’s very similar with cadre. My lead cadre is Saviour but Im not required to save all the time and Im not fighting for justice all the time, so I actually use my secondary cadres more often. When the chips are down though and the situation calls for it, the Saviour element is definitely the one driving the party bus.
I see my CoD least often I think, but when it does show up, it’s strong. It’s a need to help but more in the sense of a need to have control of something. If I’m stressed I sometimes move into overworking and doing things for people that really they should do for themselves. I’m not faking doing these things. I’m not trying to be good or score points. It’s more that I’m doing it as a way to find some control in a situation where otherwise I feel that I don’t have control. A bit like the anorexic controls food intake most when she feels in an out of control situation. My behaviour isn’t necessarily CoD behaviour but it’s linked to CoD behaviour I think. I only do it for a short time, then my other school says “Bollocks to that TS, what you really ought to be doing is telling them to go jump off a cliff.” Okie Dokie, I’m on my way! Haha!
So yes, the school mix and prevalence, plus cadre influence, plus environment, plus other preferences such as work ethic, self confidence etc together with co morbidities I think likely does influence the expression of the different schools and cadres an empath has in her make up.
Thanks for your response, TS. I’ll respond soon 🙂
Hey Leigh,
I don’t think you feel guilty about workplace narc because I don’t think you should feel guilty!
I believe in the concept of marriage. I believe that two people in a relationship should be faithful, but these beliefs are based on the assumption that there isn’t a narc involved. In your case you are married to an abuser and you were seduced by a second narc in your workplace. You were being devalued and taken for granted on the one hand and on the other the workplace narc was slowly charming his way under your skin. Add in the addiction to the equation and honestly, you were a sitting duck.
Narcs don’t respect us, so why are we obligated to respect them? We aren’t. I’m not suggesting we should all go off and behave like narcs, we’re just not wired that way, but I am saying that when we are placed in these situations, then it’s not fair to turn inwards and start thinking that perhaps we are bad people or we don’t deserve happiness going forward, because we do deserve it. If we don’t then I’d really like to meet the person who does!
I don’t believe that empaths are or are supposed to be saints. I think we do the best that we can by people and that should be good enough.
Can you let me out now please? it’s very dark and murky in your head.
(kidding)
Xx
This line right here says it all:
“Narcs don’t respect us, so why are we obligated to respect them?”
You’re right. We aren’t obligated to respect them and that’s exactly what happened. If I respected him still, I wouldn’t have done it.
I told you it was scary in there, lol! I’ll let you out now. 😂
Leigh, I was just hazarding a guess based on information HG has touched on (in a recent interview, I think?) and elsewhere. He has stated that Super Empaths are created in a *different* way. And based on the apparent fact that they have high narc traits (in addition to high empathic traits) I was thinking that it wouldn’t be far fetched to think that (genetically speaking) they are a hybrid of some kind. I don’t think that this means they have a ‘creature’ as in the way an actual narcissist does…but (and you actually sort of touched on this in your comment) they might feel as though they are two ‘different’ people, possessing both a ‘bad’ aspect in addition to a ‘good’ aspect. I have a minority super element as well.
We know, from HG’s work, that although our narc traits can come to the fore as a consequence of the erosion of our emotional empathy, those n. traits are normally kept in check. So, there can be this sense of both being a ‘bad’ person and a ‘good’ person…or, even, possibly the ‘bad’ characteristics can be used to foster good, or good acts.
The creation of the different types of empaths is addressed in a series of new materials which are currently being worked on with regard to “The Empaths”.
Ooh! I await this with much anticipation…
Best news ever! I can hardly wait!
Leigh,
In follow up to the topic of the creature, HG just reposted this on YT:
https://youtu.be/dcPCrg6Vw_E
In it he states that empaths do not have a ‘creature’.
Thank you for sharing this, Who Cares. I don’t check You Tube as often as the blog and may have missed this.
Thank you to you too, Mr. Tudor
… “how it does so “…at 16min18sec. A clear tremble in the ‘mighty ‘ narcissist’s voice.
I’ve just recently downloaded this and listened.. I’m looking forward to the book detailing the origins of The Creature, how it interacts with the narcissist day-to-day, and what would happen if it ever escaped its prison..
This has piqued my curiosity as of late because I recently had an anger-fuelled, argumentative text exchange with my children’s father.. He claimed some preposterous things, essentially trying to make me out to be an abuser, and this pushed me to the point of calling out his abusive behavior over time and ultimately me telling him I hate him (for the first time ever in my life, after nearly 14 years).. I repeated I hated him a total of four times..
Towards the end of that whole text conversation, he called me a very very different individual, causing him to tap into emotions he told himself he’d never, ever feel again in his life.. He said he recognized he wasn’t a man, but instead a “Hollow, Cursed Being” that would be haunted by this and future experiences forever.. He told me I didn’t care and this has caused him to become one with the “Being”, tasting and feeling “It” in full effect.. He said It burned, but that he was looking forward to the pain and he realized his Being wasn’t worth saving anymore..
I’m thinking this was a reference to some type of Creature he has within him.. I’m hoping the book sheds some light on exactly what that is, and hopefully it can lead me to relate it to how my words made my children’s father feel as though he became one with this “Hollow, Cursed Being” recently..
I asked the narc if he thinks he has a creature inside him …..when we were watching a paranormal show . Lol. He said “no”. But he pondered for a moment
This is my high school graduation photo (sorry it is from the ’80s) before instagram and the flattering filters that come with! Caption…Trappedin the recesses of my mind.MOST LIKELY TO GIVE IT UP, THROW IT UP, FUCK IT UP!!!
But fear not graduates! Sans death, there exists a new day to get things right or better.