The Narcissist Manipulates : Insidious Manipulation

THE-NARCISSIST-MANIPULATES-_-INSIDIOUS-SEDUCTION

 

You caught the same train at 8-05 am every day from Monday to Friday. You always sat at a window seat nearest to the door with a seat beside you and a double seat opposite you. You never sat and read the paper. You did not hold a book. You kept your mobile ‘phone in your bag rather than prod and jab at it. You preferred to look at the passing scenery. You preferred to look at your fellow travellers. You told me that the opposite seat was free. You returned my smile.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You said hello on the following day. You smiled again. You engaged in small talk with me and answered my seemingly innocuous questions. You accepted my compliment about your fragrance with modesty and thanks. You told me your name and I told you mine.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You said hello again the day after and the one after that. You smiled at me first this time. You engaged in small talk again but it grew from small to medium as the train left the station. You told me where you worked and what you did. You told me where you used to work. You explained all about your hoped for transfer to another department. You told me about your colleagues and laughed at my remarks about them.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You turned in your seat looking for me as I entered the train. You smiled and the smile was wider. You waved me over and we engaged in conversation. The small talk had been left on the platform. You told me this, you told me that and you told me about the other. I absorbed it all. I told you how your outfit suited you and you told me where you got it from. You told me where you lived. You told me you lived alone.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You looked for me again as you did every day. You always kept a seat for me. Sometimes opposite you. Sometimes beside you. You always had plenty to talk to me about. You showed me your new ‘phone and I saw the Facebook logo. I also memorised your four-digit passcode as you tentatively typed it. You told me that you were going for drinks after work and you told me the bar.

You shouldn’t have done that.

I went to the bar but did not look for you. You came and found me instead. You invited me over. You invited me and my two lieutenants to join you and your colleagues. You introduced me to them and them to me. I made you laugh. I made them laugh. I bought you more drinks. You touched my arm and your touch lingered.

You shouldn’t have done that.

Your privacy settings are not as good as they should be. You placed so much of your life online. You accepted my friend request. You messaged me first that Thursday evening and I messaged back. You messaged again and again so I did so too. You told me about your plans. You told me about your family. You told me about your friends.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You met me for coffee. You answered my questions. You gave me more and more information as our friendship grew. You gave me your telephone number. You told me about your ex. You told me about the one before him. You showed tears in your eyes.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You met me for dinner. You laughed at my jokes. You told me your hopes. You told me your fears. You told me what you liked and I liked it too. You told me where you wanted to travel to and I wanted to travel there too. You looked in my eyes and you allowed me in.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You invited me to the party at your house. You greeted me with delight. You let me into your house. You showed me your books. You showed me your tastes. You showed me your friends and let me entertain them. You showed me my recruits. You poured me a drink and I poured one for you, then another and another. You kept coming to see me as I kept the group in the palm of my hand. You smiled and you laughed and you looked at me with something else, something more in your eyes. You kissed me.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You answered my calls. Each and every one. You talked with me for hours. You answered every one of my messages. You showed excitement. You showed delight. You showed enthusiasm. You accepted the flowers. You rang and thanked me. You accepted the jewellery. You rang squealing with pleasure. You accepted the invitations. You invited me over. You made me dinner. You insisted I stay. You took me to bed.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You thrilled at my notes. You soared at my voicemails. You revelled in my messages. You thanked me for my generosity. You clapped your hands in excitement when I showed you the tickets. You kept asking me to stay. You held on to me all night. You whispered in my ear and told me what you wanted, although I already knew.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You told me to leave a toothbrush. You insured me on your car. You gave me a key. You booked our first holiday together. You introduced me to your family. You introduced me to your boss. You introduced me to him, to her, to everyone. You believed everything I told you.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You gave me your heart and said keep it safe. You told me your plans for us. You told me you loved me though I said it first. You told me nothing like this had happened before.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You made this choice. You let me in. You ignored the red flags. You let my tendrils slide around you. You told me how I had captured your heart and made you a queen. I whispered softly in your ear as you slept in my arms,

“I always do that.”

8 thoughts on “The Narcissist Manipulates : Insidious Manipulation

  1. truthseeker6157 says:

    Thank you for your response HG.
    Yes, my mistake, you do feel emotions, some are in plentiful supply.
    I can appreciate how, through intellect, observation and repetition, someone could mimic an emotion. Sympathy for example. The correct words, tone, facial expression, touch, body language etc all in line, could portray sympathy. Not easy to control all the variables, but possible.
    But, you still wouldn’t ‘emit’ sympathy. So, if I reached, to feel, there would be nothing there. A blank page, like touching an inanimate object. So I’ve been struggling to see how you would get past an empath for this reason.
    I reread the above article, sentence by sentence. I realised that actually there is no emotional content in it at all. It is a series of statements perfectly woven together to elicit an emotional response in the reader. So the sympathy I felt for her and the palpable sadness at the betrayal of trust, belongs to me. That came from me, not from you.
    So now If I revisit the HG offering sympathy scenario, maybe you can reroute the empath. Have her believe that the feeling of sympathy is coming from you, when actually, it’s coming from her. Is that what you’re doing? Is that what you mean by point 3?
    Down the rabbit hole I go….

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, I could emit sympathy through words, gestures and actions because I know how to do it, but I do not do it based on feeling (i.e. emotional empathy) I do it (if I choose to do it) through knowing (fake, cognitive, intellectual empathy). I do not get past an empath, I ensnare them. You are blinded by emotional empathy and the power of your addiction so you fail to realise that we are mirroring yourself back at you.

      1. truthseeker6157 says:

        Thank you again for the clarification HG.
        Difficult for us to win when we rely so much on the thing that is being used against us. You could argue that the trick is not to make ourselves targets to begin with. Tone it down a bit, set the emotional output to low. But to be honest, even if I came with an output control button I’d say ‘bollocks to that, no.’ Early days, I’ll keep reading.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

  2. Tess says:

    The voice of this is quite harmful to victims of narcissistic behavior.

  3. truthseeker6157 says:

    HG, to be frank, I’m confused by how someone without emotion, is able to draw so much emotion by the way in which he writes. Some posts feel educational, but others, like this one, just make me incredibly sad. Perhaps you could put a rating on the title? U – Unemotional response expected. PG -Pretty Good chance you’ll reach for the tissues. X – eXtremely emotional content incoming.
    This is another ‘Deal with it’ situation isn’t it? Aye right ok.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. I am not without emotion.
      2. Mimicry, observation and intellect are drivers to achieve the powerful.
      3. I do not feel what you feel, but I have learned how you describe it and therefore how to manipulate it.

  4. Pingback: The Narcissist Manipulates : Insidious Manipulation ⋆ NarcTopia

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Next article

Expanded Answers : The Empath