Warning Letter



“Dear Victim.

Well here we are again. Or rather, here I am again. I referred to we because as I mentioned in my first letter to you, I do not really distinguish between you and all the others, so what is about to happen next seems to me as if it has happened with you, numerous times before. What is going to happen is something that I have done so many times before with so many other victims so one thing to keep at the forefront of your mind is that you are not alone in being subjected to what will come next.

It has been amazing so far hasn’t it? I told you I would love you like nobody else ever has and I delivered. Okay, I was actually loving your praise, love, admiration and adoration of me, but to you it felt like I loved you in a way which went beyond anything you had ever experienced before. That certainly kept you happy. You told me every day how happy you were. You told your friends, your family, your colleagues, the man at the hot dog stand, in fact anybody who would listen. I enjoyed watching you do that. It made me feel good. It made me feel powerful.

Here I was able to make you tell the world about our perfect love and goodness me have you loved me perfectly. You told me every day just how much you loved me. You cared for me, looked after me and helped me in so many ways. From letting me use your car when I crashed mine to scratching my back as I lay in bed at night ready to sleep. Of course it was not all one way. I gave you everything I could. I only did it though, to get your fuel. I give to receive. I do not know any other way. You sometimes told me about your love for me being without condition.

I didn’t understand what you meant. No, that is wrong. I understood what you meant but I struggled to imagine doing this. I love you with so many conditions, the chief one being that I only actually love you for the fuel that you give me. Not for who you are. It will take you a long time to understand this and even longer to accept that this is the case. This is why I am writing this letter so that you can keep reading and re-reading it in order to allow it to sink in. After all, nobody else is going to be able to tell you how it really is will they? Anyway, it has been brilliant so far. Ordinarily I would claim that that is all down to me, after all am I not brilliant? It is a fact however that you more than played your part. You gave me absolutely everything.

Your heart, your soul and you poured every essence of your being in to the concept of us. I know you did this because I could see you doing it. I had to because I needed that in order to sustain me. The more you gave, the more brilliant I became, so you gave even more in return. It was an upwards spiral. Two people working in magnificent harmony. You because you believed in us. Me because I needed your fuel. Not that you ever realised this. Why would you? I became the perfect partner, complimenting you, praising you and loving you in that oh so spectacular way. It was intense, it was scintillating and I made sure I became everything that you would want from a relationship. It was a great deal for us both. I made you feel ultra-special.

You gave me the ultra fuel that I need. Does it matter that what I provided to you was based on something else? I would say not, you still got what you wanted didn’t you? I should imagine you would argue that it did matter because you truly believed that I loved you for who you are and that should be the case. I can understand why you would think like that.

You are big on this love thing aren’t you? That is why I picked you of course, that and many other reasons as well, but that played a big part. I wonder though; if nothing altered, if I kept treating you the same way forever as I have done so far, even though it is predicated on a completely different basis to the one you think it is, would that trouble you? You wouldn’t know of course. All you would know is that I continuing to give you the apparent love you crave, in the manner that you have come to expect and in a fashion that makes you feel so special. I don’t suppose you would be particularly upset if that remained the case would you? The thing is though, that isn’t going to happen. Yes, you read that correctly.

What has happened so far, marvellous as it is, is effectively at an end. Oh, you will be allowed some glimpses of the person you thought I was, from time to time, in order to keep you with me, but to all intents and purposes this golden period of unparalleled love has come to an end. You won’t realise this because first of all you just cannot accept that something so wonderful could end in this manner. Second of all you will not realise because of what I am going to do. I am going to confuse you, bewilder you and befuddle you. I am going to make everything hazy, amorphous, nebulous, blurred and indistinct so you are not going to understand what is going on.


Why am I going to do this? Well something has changed. I would usually explain, if I ever felt that an explanation should be given (and I operate from the stance that I owe you no explanations because I am unaccountable) that as usual it is your fault. You have let me down. I do believe that to be the case. I wish it was not. I wish this wonderful period could have continued for the rest of our days together but it cannot. What once invigorated me and made me feel powerful just does not do so in the same way anymore.

Don’t think you are alone in this happening. You are not. All the others let me down as well. It is as if you are not trying any longer. It is as if you have become bored with my brilliance and you see no reason to admire me and adore me in the way that you once did. That wounds me. Your actions or perhaps more accurately, your lack of actions makes me feel less than what I am. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel worthless and this infuriates me. I know that others have said to me in the past that nothing has changed in the way that they feel about me, that they love me just as much as they always have done.

Yet even though they tell me this it does not feel like that anymore to me. The power I felt when you showed me that love and admiration is either no longer there or not as strong. I cannot help it. That is the way that I feel. Since I have not changed in the way that I regard you, I can only reach the conclusion that this alteration in how I feel has been brought about as a consequence of you. Something in the way you act towards me has altered. You perhaps are not giving enough of yourself to me, you are not manifesting the love, the admiration and the adoration in the way that powers me.

It might be that sometimes it feels stale to me, that has happened, perhaps it is because you have become too familiar to me and therefore I do not derive the same reaction that I once did to the way you have behaved. I know that this has been suggested to me but I do not know if it is right. For so long you behaved the same way towards me, loving me in that wonderful way and it did not feel stale or jaded. I think, more likely, it is because you have begun to treat me differently. You are not performing at the level that I require and therefore to me this means you no longer regard me in the same light and this offends me.

I feel criticised by this behaviour of yours and therefore I have to protect myself. You see, I do not like criticism. In fact, I hate it and therefore I need to act promptly to defend myself against this criticism. That is why I have to do what comes next. I had hoped this would not happen. I had hoped that you would be The One so this could be avoided. I had hoped you would not let me down, that I had made the right choices and decisions so that our golden reign could continue forever.

I guess I got it wrong, although it is not something I would ever openly admit, I do not want to be seen as wrong because that suggests weakness and that is the last thing I want you to think I am. So, here I am again, about to protect myself from your implied criticism. Anybody else would say sorry for what is about to happen, but as you will soon find out, I do not do apologies. I am sorry for myself that it has come to this of course. I am full of self-pity when the need arises. So, that is the end of the golden period we had. I must do what I have done so many times before and bring the hurt. I will stop now as I have some planning to do, but I will write again. You might want to put your tin hat on and buckle up.

This is where it turns nasty.


Yours in disappointed fury

N. Arc


16 thoughts on “Warning Letter

  1. Caron says:

    Accurate. I watched him switch on more than one occasion. But after more than a year and a half, he just hauled away the last piece of property he left behind, and I hit “block” as the gate was closing behind him, and I’ve never had so much peace before.

    Of course he brought his girlfriend to hurt me like he brought me along to hurt his first ex wife, but it didn’t hurt me to see her. I recognized her as who we all to him: temporary. One of the “switchings” I watched were while we were working out at the gym together and he was suddenly livid with me for not working out enough, or hard enough, or for not looking like a 20 year old immediately after starting at the gym, or just because it was time to bring the hurt. He is a lesser, though, so no Planning or forethought. His current girl does not look like she ever moves her body. She has no muscle tone or balance. She isn’t fat, just not fit. I’m sure she is a lovely girl, at any rate, but I’m also sure the devaluing has already begun.

    And it’s over for me, finally. If I’d known I’d have this peace, I’d have done this a while ago.

    Appreciate you, HG. Will come back here just to read your articles.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you, Caron.

  2. MGM says:

    HG, do you have any thoughts or perspective about “healthy narcissism,” or the positive traits of narcissism?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes. Non-narcissists have narcissistic traits and these usually operate in a healthy fashion. The Trait Detector Consultation explains more about this.

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        Having spent Sunday evening with an empath and a normal (normal but leaning towards narcissistic on the scale I’d say), I learned that normals are very good at shirking any feelings of guilt. Probably one of the reasons their emotions are kept in a healthy equilibrium. We were having a conversation about something, the other empath and myself somewhat distressed over a given situation which had involved our relatives some time ago and which we felt guilt over. Relatives of the normal would have been affected too but whilst he thought about it momentarily, he was also able to quickly shrug it off, making a comment, “Oh no, it wasn’t like that for my relatives, it was a very positive experience for them”.

        I think we as empaths can learn alot from observing/finding out how others deal with things.

        1. MommyPino says:

          Alexis Smith, the normal you described sounds very much like my husband. They have empathy and feels bad once they realized they caused something negative and try to correct it, but they don’t wallow in guilt and quickly move on. When someone tries to milk the guilt in them it doesn’t work and it comes naturally to them, unlike us they don’t need to rationalize about why they don’t need to feel guilty. I wish my kids would be normals but it looks like one of them at least is going to be an empath for sure. The other one might be a normal or a SE. I hope normal so she wouldn’t be that much of a narc magnet.

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Thank MP that was really helpful to hear. You articulated it well. They do move on quickly. I felt mixed feelings about it, total respect for being able to but utterly pissed off that he didn’t have more empathy all at the same time. Hahhaha

            I hope your kids are normals too if that’s what you’d like them to be MP. Mine are empaths (two for sure) the other possibly empathic but not an empath. Before I knew what narcs were I wished they’d all had more narcy traits but now I’m very happy they are as they are. I love the highs and lows of being an empath. Especially since HG because most of the time I’m in control of my ET now but it’s still there and I rather like that feeling.

        2. Whitney says:

          Mommypino and Alexis 😊
          I’m an empath according to HG, and I never suffer the guilt emotion. I know I do my best and have good intentions.

          I have never felt stupid or self-blame for being ensnared either.

          I feel deep emotions for people, but never feel guilt myself.

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            That’s really interesting Whitney. You’re very fortunate. I don’t feel it for everything/everyone. Many situations where it would be expected to, I don’t. It’s quite variable. May I ask what type of empath you are?

          2. MommyPino says:

            Whitney that is super awesome that you don’t feel ‘false’ guilt. You must have a really strong self assurance inside. You are very lucky!

        3. MommyPino says:

          Hi Alexis Smith,

          I didn’t get notified from this thread, sorry for the late reply.

          Thank you, your description was so clear that it reminded me of his characteristics.

          Haha I know the mixed feelings you’re talking about. It is impressive that they can do that without even trying but a little frustrating that they don’t have the same level of empathy that we have.

          It is true about the highs and lows. It makes me feel that I really am alive to be able to feel that deeply.

          I’m glad that your kids are all Empaths/empathic. We need more of them in this world for sure!

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Ah no worries. I miss loads of replies where I don’t receive the notifications. WP is a bit hit and miss! Thanks for your response it’s great to know you understand

      2. MGM says:

        Thank you. I will look into this surely useful resource, HG. Thank you.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

  3. Empath007 says:

    “ I loved you for the fuel you gave me… not you” wow. I’ve read that many times but this is the first time it’s really sunk in. Oddly… I don’t find it that insulting… because realistically I only loved him for the validation he could provide ( until he couldn’t) … I didn’t love him, because he was behind a mask.

  4. truthseeker6157 says:

    I might write back 😂

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