That is Not Important Right Now



Our sense of entitlement, lack of consideration and our failure to recognise and respect boundaries means that we are important and you are not. Our need is an emergency. Your needs are secondary. Our requirements are fundamental. Your wants are irrelevant. If we want something it must be done and you must drop everything else, cancel your plans and ensure we are provided for and catered to otherwise all hell breaks loose.

Fail to do something we want and when we want (even if we haven’t told you what it is) is regarded by us a criticism and our fury is ignited. We may impose a cold furious silent treatment or lambast you with our heated fury but either way we are important and you are not.

We show no appreciation of your situation, no consideration of your position and scant regard for what you might need or have to contend with. It is predictably all about us. Any situation, any time and any moment we will trample all over what you are doing in order to get what we want done.

Whatever you may have organised, planned or whatever you are doing is minutiae and utterly inconsequential to the massively important event, occurrence or happening that we have decreed. Expect interruptions, abrasive treatment and a complete lack of manners and consideration. This mind-set that what you are doing is not important appears often and repeated and is symptomatic of so many of our narcissistic traits. Here are twenty instances you may recognise where what you are doing is not important right now.


  1. Talking over you.
  2. Changing channel on the television when you are clearly watching something.
  3. Switching off music that you are listening to.
  4. Playing music loudly when you are relaxing.
  5. Thrusting a newspaper under your nose when you are reading a book and saying “look at this”
  6. Talking to you when you are on the telephone.
  7. Calling you at work and raising a trivial matter and demanding that you do something about it.
  8. Asking you to pass something that is in reach when you are doing some other task.
  9. Saying la la la when you are trying to explain something.
  10. Making you late because we needed you to straighten our tie several times first.
  11. Calling you indoors from an outdoors task just to point out something on the television which is irrelevant.
  12. Calling you and asking where something is when it is easy to find.
  13. Calling you when you are socialising and demanding that you return home to deal with an emergency – such as the blinds are stuck or we have run out of peanut butter
  14. Demanding you prepare our evening meal when you are trying to get ready to go out.
  15. Feigning a greater illness when you are unwell.
  16. Waking you up to tell you something pointless.
  17. Ringing the landline from our mobile (withholding the number) and insisting you answer when you are trying to eat and then hanging up.
  18. Demanding to be picked up or given a lift irrespective of what you might be doing.
  19. Using items you need to complete a task.
  20. Thrusting a tablet under your nose as you are trying to do something and telling you to “watch this” only to see a video of a man falling down some stairs.

It does not matter how trivial, ridiculous or childish the behaviour is as long as it disrupts you and thrusts your attention onto us, even if it is to react in a negative way, we will always behave in such a way.

18 thoughts on “That is Not Important Right Now

  1. Shel Sanders says:

    This seems to have been treated as a female issue. It is not. The henpecked husband has been a stereotype for decades if not centuries. Perfectly acceptable to put on TV. That’s my main issue with the discussion.
    But I also think that including all such behavior under the same roof, clouds the issues without contributing to the resolution. All these behaviors are inconsiderate, but only some of them are spiteful and delivered with malice. Some of these behaviors could be attempts to build a relationship, rather being juvenile attempts to grab attention. I won’t say any more because the complexities of a relationship determine which of these “NARC” behaviors not well-intentioned and which are meant to hurt or to assert dominance. I do not want to engage in a dialog with others who view this differently. I am not suggesting which behaviors are significant, and which are at most thoughtless. These judgments have to be made on a case to case basis.

  2. Whitney says:

    HG are some Narcs more introverted because the LMR claimed I gave him too much attention.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, that is Blame Shifting and Provocation.

      1. Whitney says:

        Thank you HG you are a genius.

  3. Love says:

    What’s more important than the blinds being stuck??? All hands on deck STAT!
    I consider this their cute side ❤️🐶❤️

  4. Empath007 says:

    Literally every single action on that list, is exactly how toddlers and young children act. Which begs the question… is there a stunt in emotional growth that happens in narcissits ? Because a lot of the behaviour and thought process is identical to that of a young child.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See “To Control is to Cope”

      1. Empath007 says:


    2. MommyPino says:


      Imagine someone who was so starved with attention, care, affirmation and unconditional love as a child growing up as an adult and trapped in an endless cycle of overcompensating for those essential things that a person can truly only get from their parents. These people are permanently set on survival mode which is not a normal way of living. Another big problem for them, I have noticed that I love my husband differently than I love my kids. Narcissists will never ever get the love that they were supposed to get from their parents in their childhood from their romantic partners or anyone else so they are always bound to never get satisfied. Anyway, just my thoughts.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        It is not to do with love, it is to do with control.

        1. MommyPino says:

          Thanks for the correction. I was making the same mistake of looking at it with an Empath perspective again.

  5. Kathleen says:

    🤣😂🤣😂- lol HG Some of these were really funny LOL. Just a reminder of how happy I am to be Narc Free! Just so ridiculous sometimes. Thank goodness I can laugh at it at this point. Thanks to HG! Any news on the new installment on MM and “H” ?

    1. Violetta says:


      I will be glad to see HG’s analysis of recent events. MM’s “graduation speech” may have been entirely unsolicited: her schools graduation was postponed because of Covid and the featured speaker is a retired faculty member. MM wasn’t mentioned on their website at all. Then people contacted them with questions about the speech, and the school suddenly claimed it had asked various alumnae to contribute graduation addresses (there was no mention of any such thing on their website up to that point, so they may have had some kind of pressure applied behind the scenes).

      Meanwhile, it seems BFF Jessica Mulroney is being markled, because she was rude to an “Influencer.” I’m sure both Mulroney and Megsie have been rude to many people they regard as inferior, but since this Influencer was black and the rudeness involved a debate over support for BLM, Mulroney couldn’t get away with it like Megsie did when she’s thrown tea or tantrums at her staff (and sometimes other people’s staff).

      I posted a comment on that last item on “Seven Truths of Narcissistic Friendships” rather than one of the “Royal Narcissist” articles, because we’re seeing the same pattern with Anna (Nuclear) Wintour and Andre Leon Talley.

      The entire world is being Narckled.

      1. lisk says:

        “The entire world is being Narckled.”

        Brilliant line, Violetta.

        1. Renarde says:

          Me main bitch Violetta, knows how it goes down.

          She is likes so intelligent?


          1. Violetta says:

            Thanks for the plaudits, Lisk and Renarde, but acting on the knowledge is the hard part.

        2. blackcoffee30 says:

          LLS 🙂

  6. dollysupreme says:

    A standard day with my narc right there …..

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