Ghosts

 

GHOSTS

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, we certainly behave with certain similar attributes. We appear out of thin air. It is similar to how you can never remember the beginning of a dream can you? You cannot remember quite how we appeared. We just did. We seemed to coalesce into your life with the ease of a ghost walking through a wall. We arrive and ghost into your life.

In the same way as seeing a ghost, when you experience us, it is not an event that you will forget in a hurry. We sidle up to you, insert ourselves into your lives and make connection after connection with you as we feed from you. Like some wraith we attach ourselves to you and steadily begin to suck the life force from you as we gorge on the fuel that you provide.

Often we will vanish just as we arrived, without any warning or announcement and try as you might you cannot find us again. It is as if we have disappeared off the face of the earth. Naturally we chose the moment of our vanishing act without any concern for its effect on you. We slip away like a mist evaporating. Once we were everywhere, woven around you and captivating you. Much in the same way as one might be transfixed by the appearance of some spirit. You are entranced by our appearance, there is something ethereal and mysterious about us that causes you to be drawn to us and then we are gone.

We are that elusive spirit that can now not be found. You might go to the same place where we first manifested but there is no sign of us. We have left no footprint, no trace of our existence when you try and seek us out, just like our spectral cousins and then suddenly we have returned. We ghost back into your life and continuing our haunting of you. We are incessant and ever present, drifting about you as we resume our extraction of fuel. We resume our draining of your spirit, leeching it from you as our cold, dead hands take hold of you once again.

People have many theories as to what ghosts are if they indeed exist. Some suggest that where there has been a sudden explosion of emotion, a heightened experience, then an imprint has been made on the fabric of existence. This imprint appears to those who are attuned to seeing it. That imprint is seen doing the same thing over and over again. It walks the same route, passes through the same wall and then vanishes only to appear the next night in the same place. The spirit follows the same routine like a piece of video film stuck in an endless loop. Just like such a ghost we engage in the same behaviours over and over again.

The same actions all designed to haunt you as we extract our fuel. The same gestures, the same actions all of which must be replayed. Some believe that a ghost is the soul of someone who has suffered eternal damnation. He or she has been denied entry to heaven or hell and instead has been consigned to walk the earth for eternity, stuck in an unceasing routine. Our endless quest for fuel finds us in such a similar position. We must make our way through life, restless and never finding peace. We move from place to place, unable to rest and be satisfied. Instead we are driven onwards, plagued by the curse of our need for fuel. Thus we must haunt others, our appearance bringing dread and fear in the same way as terror follows the appearance of a spectre.

Unable to quite fit in we are ghost at the feast. Even when we have vanished there is a lingering coldness that strikes you to your core. You still sense us, able to feel the effect of our chilling appearance. You are wary and anxious as you know we will appear once again. Quite when is a mystery but as we first arrived and as we first disappeared we will ghost into your life and continue our haunting of you.

Better consult that exorcist.

3 thoughts on “Ghosts

  1. Renarde says:

    Oh yeah. Ghosts. Have seen a few. I dont doubt the evidence of my eyes. I saw what I saw.

    The first time I saw one was chilling. Directly after university and in the first property with the UMS. we were in bed. Sleeping. I woke up.

    Thete was a woman, thin old. Walking towards us and holding what looked to be a pillowcase in front of her. I yelled out. Woke him up. Fuck.

    That was an odd property. An old school which had been converted. We were in an annexe. Landlady was bonkers

    A fee more incidents happened and I took the unilateral descion; we are going.

    The next place. Again we are asleep.i again awake. My dear friend, M, who had died very young of a rare blood disorder, was walking past the foot of the bed. Dressed as he always was, in t shirt and Jean’s. I knew we had been talking. He had been very very Ill and the hospital and been pumping litres of blood into him. He was posthumously awarded his wings because he was in the Air Cadets. We both loved Astronomy and were both studying the same subjects at A Level.

    But I had a new fella and I didnt even know he was Ill.

    I saw the ghost of my first pet at my parents. And then the ghost of a terrier, right on the solstice in the bathroom of the very first place I owned.

    Ive seen other things too, in ritual. I cannot explain them. I havnt seen anything though in years. That’s why I know I’m not bonkers.

    It’s not the dead that frighten me though. It’s the living.

    .

  2. Another Cat says:

    A beautiful read, HG. Enticing and important.
    Even if we do in fact have a date to when you arrived, we can’t point our finger on exactly when it was that you became weird, or abusive. Or do I exaggerate? Was it also my fault? Then why do I feel this crappy and destroyed? I reflect a lot on it, often it’s not so much the words, but the timing which the narcissist chooses. It’s hard to remember timing, and quick sudden present silent treatments in the middle of a convo at dinner. The sudden slamming of several cold textmessages. Timing. Thus when trying to recap, to the conscious mind it all looks like a ghostlike blur.

  3. lickemtomorrow says:

    “Better consult that exorcist.”

    HG, you really know how to pull them out of the hat. I know you are kidding, but …

    The question remains in my mind as to what takes ‘possession’ of the narcissist.

    Science would appear to refute spiritual reasoning.

    If we consider man is made up of mind, body and spirit, then I’m accepting the possibility science does not have all the answers.

    Call me medieval.

    I think the ability of the narcissist to appear and disappear is not that hard to understand when you know how they think. The idea of being an appliance has kind of stuck with me. There is no real connection, attachment, intimacy, love. Once you know that, you can see how easy it was for them connect and disconnect again. Nothing ‘ghostly’ about it. But their ability to do that is certainly unnerving.

    The eternal loop the narcissist is caught in draws sympathy from me. I can’t imagine never being satisfied and on an eternal hunt for what you need in order to maintain control. I know you’ve said it’s not exhausting, and the only thing missing is fuel at times, but as an empath I know there’s more. And I (in my emotional thinking) would want you to experience that.

    The desire to change the past becomes overwhelming at times.

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