Mind Games – Part Two



Having detailed some of the mind games that we deploy against you, this leads to the inevitable question of why do we do this? I daresay that some of you will be tempted to answer

“Because you are all arseholes.”

Whilst this is understandable and potentially accurate (when viewed from your perspective) it is not going to provide you with any insight into the workings of our minds and behaviours. Accordingly, I will expand on why it is we use mind games to comprehensively.

  1. Fuel. An obvious one and rightly the first one that is considered. The application of mind games to the dynamic between you and us is done in order to prompt an emotional reaction from you and thus garner fuel from you. Whether you become upset, distraught, frustrated, annoyed or angry as a consequence of the games being played, it is all fuel which we will readily drink up.
  2. Control. We are obsessed with control. Our environment must be beholden to us. We have to control everything around us in order to ensure that we continue to exist, receive fuel, minimise and remove risks and so forth. By subjecting you to mind games, we are able to achieve this need for control, since you become trapped by them, you remain paralysed by their effects as you try to establish what is happening, rather than knowing them for what they are and moving away from them.
  3. Future planning. It is a common outcome from entangling with our kind that you will be labelled as The Crazy One once you have been discarded or escaped, as part of the smear campaign. The mind games bring about such a state of mind in you that it becomes easy enough for us to point to your behaviour during devaluation, your behaviour post discard/escape and demonstrate that you are indeed unhinged. There are very few people who can actually resist the proliferation of mind games and not be affected by them in some way and many people are left at the end of their tether creating an appearance of being “crazy”.
  4. Façade management. By engaging in games where we are I control, you are seen as histrionic and volatile, where we are calm and pleasant to everybody but you and causing people to form an adverse view about you, this allows us to manage and maintain the façade. We have an array of lieutenants and members of our coterie who all regard us as decent and kind, which then makes your life even harder in terms of trying to persuade people about what we really are.
  5. Superiority reinforcement. We operate from the perspective that we are superior to everybody around us and especially you. By engaging in games where we are able to pull the string, make you upset and angry and exert control, this allows us to emphasise that we are indeed superior to you.
  6. Self-defence. Many of the mind games that we engage in are because we need to defend ourselves from being challenged or criticised. Hence when we project, deny, deflect and blame-shift, although there may be a collateral benefit in terms of how it affects you, the primary reason for engaging in these behaviour is to protect ourselves by rejecting blame, preventing your challenge and addressing criticism.
  7. Exhaustion. With any situation, you respond to it more effectively when you are rested and able to think in a clear manner. The deployment of mind games causes you to become exhausted which results in your lacking clarity, experiencing a reduced resistance and diminished will-power. This means that you are far less likely to try to escape what we are doing and far more likely to accept doing what we want.
  8. Plausible deniability. By operating within the vestiges of the spoken, gestures and actions, we are often able to maintain being vague and amorphous. This allows us to manipulate you to a further degree but also serves an incredibly useful purpose in denying that we have engaged in such behaviours to begin with, especially with a third party. If we are challenged by, for example, someone in authority, we can point to the absence of proof or turn it into the word of someone calm and reasonable against some frazzled, ranting Crazy Person.
  9. Impact. The impact of emotional and psychological abuse is invariably more difficult for the victim to handle than physical abuse. Whilst physical abuse is understandably unpleasant, the insidious nature of mind games means that the victim cannot grasp what is happening, cannot ascertain if they are being subjected to a mind game (being punched is obvious and unequivocal) and cannot fathom why they are being treated in this manner. You no doubt will have heard victims state,

“I would have preferred to have been physically assaulted than be put through the mental torture.”

For someone to choose physical injury over this underlines just how devastating the impact is.

  1. Lack of detectability. Alongside plausible deniability is the fact that a bruise is a bruise and therefore raises questions. It is far harder to determine the effect of the mind games. Yes, someone may present as exhausted, anxious, hypervigilant, terrified and so on, but there is always the potential for us to suggest that it is put on and/or is related to something else. It is harder to do this with physical abuse (although not impossible). Indeed, some people do not allow the effect of the mind games to be seen, preferring to keep it hidden from other parties.
  2. Erosion. If you suffer a broken arm, you can still function. You can use your other arm, you can walk places, talk, you can hear and see and so forth. The mind games naturally affect that which controls and governs everything you do. By wearing down your mind, we are able to grind you down, causing your resistance to weaken and preventing you from functioning in a manner which might aid your escape from us.
  3. Tenderising. The application of mind games through achieving erosion and exhaustion as described above means that in effect you are being “tenderised” for further manipulations to be applied against you with maximum effect.
  4. Empathic vulnerability. As a person who has empathic traits and thus the reason why you were targeted by us, you are more susceptible to these kind of behaviours. Mind games work especially well against you as a consequence of your traits such as honesty, decency, telling the truth, needing to understand, wanting to help and your emotional responses.
  5. Endeavour. Some of the mind games end up making you try harder to please and do things for us with the additional benefit which naturally arises from this.
  6. Power. This is applicable to the Greater Narcissist only as the Lesser and Mid-Range are not aware of the true extent of the application of mind games. The Greater Narcissist revels in being apply to treat somebody in this manner, distort their world, have them jumping and moving at their say so, causing them to fountain with fuel and have no idea how or why this is being done to them. The various manipulations and their outcomes means this appeals to the omnipotence which Greaters believe that they have.

9 thoughts on “Mind Games – Part Two

  1. Fiddleress says:

    This article was incredibly helpful too when I first heard it on youtube. It still is now, the reminders are essential.
    Number 9 really hits home for me too.

    Yet I did not give him fuel; I did not complain, I did not get angry. I know I looked utterly exhausted, but when he said “I hope it is not because of me”, I just said “no, please do not think it is your fault”, because I knew by then he wanted to know it was because of him.

    HG, I have a question, please: do narcissists have a sixth sense for this too, and therefore could he have known it was indeed on his account that I was not well, even though I wouldn’t admit it to him? Could he have got (thought?) fuel out of it although I did my best not to give any?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, he needed to control you in that moment, his narcissism saw you were exhausted and he needed a reaction from you and therefore asked if your exhaustion was linked to him, your response gave him fuel and signalled he had control over you. It was the need for control that matters and so long as control was signalled it did not matter how it was signalled, for instance admitting he caused your exhaustion or you saying it was not his fault both have the same effect – you provide fuel and control.

      1. Fiddleress says:

        Thank you for your explanation. I still find it a little difficult to understand that it is responding in itself which gives fuel, and that the content of the response is secondary.

        So the best solution (for me) in this case would have been to say nothing and leave for good, wouldn’t it?.
        Which is what I eventually managed to do two weeks later, after one final visit.

        1. HG Tudor says:


  2. Veronique Trimble says:

    Now this I have to agree with you completely the mind games are definitely worse than any physical abuse social isolation ostracising people making them look crazy because they’re emotional about what’s happening to that is easy for people to do I guess I think the truth is that most people don’t want to believe that narcissist are actually capable of what they do especially considering they’re usually incredibly charming charismatic likeable people lovable people usually in my experience anyway and then you have someone like me I fire off at him but I’m completely honest all of the time people have always found it easy to make me there scapegoat this is why I’m working on me I don’t want another man in my life maybe ever but at least until I can get to the point where people like the narcissist I’ve had in my life don’t affect me in the same way one of the things that I think we have in common is our ability to access passion Because you have to have passion for any extreme emotion whether it be Love And or rage, fury One thing I’ve noticed also with my narcissist is the obsession to win regardless of what it means and I’ve seen some people go to severe degrees of emotional abuse even physical abuse just to get a reaction and because I don’t react They keep pushing and doing things meaner colder That I would’ve thought anybody would ever go to

  3. lickemtomorrow says:

    “I would have preferred to have been physically assaulted than be put through the mental torture.”

    For someone to choose physical injury over this underlines just how devastating the impact is.

    It truly is devastating and amorphous as you say. That is the issue. There’s nothing to grasp. Nothing to take a hold of and assert due to all the other manipulations in play. Which leads us to the next part:

    Lack of detectability. “Indeed, some people do not allow the effect of the mind games to be seen, preferring to keep it hidden from other parties.”

    Indeed, I did keep it hidden because it was too hard to explain and it would seem like I was the one who was imagining things, could be made to look like I was imagining things, and others could potentially find ways to point out (due to the undetectable nature of the abuse) that there could be multiple reasons for an issue that didn’t directly relate to mind games being played. It’s impossible to prove. And there is also an element of shame attached to that as well. At least there was for me. Cue narcissistic trait of pride. In revealing this (if it could be believed) I would also be revealing the fractures that existed in the relationship. We all want to present a good front to the world. We want our world to be perfect. Or, at least, OK. We don’t want to worry others or give them cause for concern. We also don’t want them to think less of us, in that somehow we cannot manage our relationship, we have chosen the wrong person, this person is not who we thought they were. It’s hard to admit these things. And even harder to prove them. Especially with something as amorphous as mind games.

    1. Veronique Trimble says:

      I completely understand what you mean what is the emotional abuse and mind games but having experience physical and emotional/ mental and even sexual abuse the only difference really is the bruising or broken bones something you can actually see both types of abuse cause emotional problems and anxiety depression fear psychological abuse can not be seen by others as easily and it’s much easier to hide it or worse find excuses for and it is true that the physical damage in some cases goes away but the psychological trauma stays physical abuse doesn’t start with being beaten it usually comes after emotional abuse when they believe that they can do anything and get away with it and each time they get braver with how far they go and they get you to the point where you believe it’s your fault either way it is the psychological damage that we are left with. I am sorry that you have experienced such a hard time and I really hope that you can find some peace sending hugs 🤗

  4. Summer says:

    Again i thank you with my whole heart, this article couldn’t be more accurate. I especially appreciated #9 most of all.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

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