The Death Bed Narcissist : Lower Lesser

 

 

 

“Well, hello there.”

“Who the fuck are you? It´s not Halloween yet, you twat,” replied the figure lying in bed, propped up on two dirty, stained pillows.

“Goodness me, two swear words in two sentences. Not like you at all. I would have expected a volley of profanity from that ill-governed mouth,” declared the figure stood at the foot of the bed, draped in black, the face hidden within a cowl.

“What? Speak fucking English!” rasped the occupant of the bed, his words coming between ragged gasps as he fought for air.

A noise like air escaping from a tomb that had been breached after five thousand years of being sealed tight, came from the motionless hooded figure. It was a sigh.

“Of course. I forget who I am addressing. I shall try again. Only two swear words? I expected way more from you. You really must be rather unwell if that is all you can say.” There was a low rumbling sound, like thunder rolling across a distant plain. The figure was laughing.

“Who are you?” demanded the occupant, “Why is it so dark in my room? What’s going on?”

The figure moved forward, emerging partially from the shadows so the single light, which shone dimly from above the bed, fell upon the shimmering black material which covered the figure. Two cold azure pinpoints of light could be seen within the hood, but there was no visible face, no discernible features, just another kind of darkness.

“I am Death,” remarked the figure.

“Yeah, yeah, is this your idea of joke Mary?” asked the occupant.

“Oh, this is no joking matter, Jerry Lowe,” remarked Death.

“How do you know my name? Where´s Mary? Is this you Butch, quit fucking around you prick, where´s Mary?” demanded Jerry, the occupant of the bed, aggressively. He tried to move but found he could not.

“Mary is there,” answered Death and another light flicked on casting a pool of light around a late middle-aged woman who was sat in an armchair to one side of the room. Her head was back, mouth open as she snored away, although there came no sound from her. She was oblivious to Death and Jerry´s conversation.

“Mary! Mary! Wake up woman! There’s some clown in the bedroom, get him out, Mary!” cried Jerry. The voice which once had boomed and ordered, was now weak, small and ineffective.

“She cannot hear you, Jerry. Nobody can,” explained Death.

“What the fuck are you on about? Think you can scare me with this stupid costume? Its shit. Death? Where´s the mask from that film then? Fuck off out of my room.”

The hood moved from side to side.

“Silence,” ordered Death with the resonance of a thunderclap.

Jerry´s mouth continued to flap, opening and shutting but no sound came out. His eyes widened in confusion and fear, but he still tried to speak and he tried to move from the bed but he could not get up, as if some weight was pinning him down, keeping him under the unclean duvet.

“Time for you to listen Jerry, although I know you are not very good at doing that. Poor old Mary over there has had nearly a lifetime of trying to help you and you have never listened to her, save when she says something that you want to hear, such as what she has made for dinner and asking you how many cans of beer you want her to pick up. Tragic really. Look at her, a kind woman but a misguided one, who has remained doggedly loyal to you, not that you every appreciated her doing so. You expected it. She has kept a vigil in that battered armchair, sitting by you, waiting on you hand and foot as you have coughed and spluttered. She has begged you to let her call an ambulance but you threatened to beat her if she did. “This is my home and no fucker is taking me out of it. Besides, I don’t trust doctors, quacks the lot of them” you snarled at her when she wanted to get help for you. For you. Still, at least she will get some peace and quiet now, deserves it, after fifty years of being tethered to you,” explained Death.

Jerry had stopped doing an impression of a goldfish although he continued to try to climb from the bed. His head turned weakly from side to side as he wriggled under the bedclothes.

“She was the only one who has stayed. Your children have not bothered. Your elder son, Jack, well, chip off the old block so all he is interested in, is whether there will be any money in it for him once his old man has popped his clogs. The other two, they have had enough of you. Deep down, they will be glad when you have gone. Sick of your bullying, tired of your nastiness, they only came because their mother, Mary begged them. They did it for her not for you. Look around Jerry, this is your bedroom, in your trailer and who is here? You, Mary and now me. Where are your friends, few in number though they are? Not here now and only one has bothered to drop by and even then it was only because he wanted to use your chainsaw. They prefer to stay away. Ever asked yourself why that is? I won’t ask about the colleagues, you have never really worked, well only if you consider thieving to be an occupation. Where are the grand children come to bring a smile to those lips? I see no flowers, no cards from well wishers. Has the pastor visited? Of course not, you shun religion and its network. Your brother? Not a chance. You have not spoken in a decade. You are dying and have been dying for weeks, you have been told that, Jerry,  Your life of vice, the cigarettes, the alcohol, the cheap, nasty fast food have taken their toll, especially the cigarettes. You lie there wheezing unable to even afford oxygen for the tank that now lies empty,” remarked Death indicating towards the metal canister propped by the side of the bed. The oxygen mask dangled redundant from it.

This litany of absences and failures prompted Jerry to react and he squirmed, eyes narrowing, irritation and annoyance flared in them, the mouth twisted and gaped.

“You may as well stop that as well. You cannot get out of that bed, you see you are in the Never Moment now.”

At the mention of this Jerry ceased his ineffectual squirming and frowned, incomprehension flooded his prematurely-aged face.

The noise of air escaping a tomb sounded again in the otherwise silent room.

“You won’t understand, a school dropout like you who thinks intelligent people need to be shown the might of the fist, but I will explain anyway, after all, others will benefit from this. This is the Never Moment. You are neither alive nor dead, but you will soon be dead because I am here and I have come for you. You are in-between the world of the living and the world of the dead. You are on your death bed. Out there,” Death raised a hidden arm so that the black cloth moved, “time has stopped. Mary sleeps on unaware that you are now about to die. She will wake up and find you, Jerry Lowe, dead. Expired. Gone. Deceased.”

Jerry stared ahead. His eyes showed nothing. Emptiness prevailed.

“This Never Moment could be over in a heartbeat or it might go on for a million more, that is down to me and how long I keep you here. You see it is in this Never Moment that you are made aware that this is the end, that you are about to die so if there is anything you would like to say, something you would like to declare, any thoughts, any burning declarations of great import that you would like to be made known, well, now is your chance. With the knowledge that you are about to shuffle off this mortal….sorry, forgetting who you are for a moment, ahem, with the knowledge that you are about to die, this is the Last Chance Saloon. You will not stop the inevitable but, well, it seems the right thing to do to let you say what you need to say in the full knowledge that this is the end. I am a very good listener you know. I have had some fascinating Never Moments. Quite the surprise from certain people you know. So, seeing as how you appear to have settled down a bit, let me unmute you and you can say your bit.”

Death then nodded.

“I told you to fuck off out of my room whoever the fuck you are and for another…” Jerry immediately launched into a heated tirade towards death which was cut short as Death muted him once again.

“You are dumber than even I realised. Very well, I will explain it one last time and then it is over to you and I suppose I shall have to endure the delinquencies that will come spilling from your ugly mouth.”

Death nodded again, unmuting Jerry.

“..and I will kick seven shades of shite out of you if you don’t take that bastard costume off and show me who you really are. Well, show me you wanker!” he spat and then wheezed, coughed as his head bobbed up and down.

Death said nothing.

“I’m not dying, it´s not my time,” commented Jerry. There was resistance in his eyes but his tone betrayed him. The first sensations of fear began to manifest as the ultimate threat to his control made its presence felt. Not that Jerry knew that that was what was happening. He just knew that it wasn’t his time. Surely? He sought to shake off the nagging fear and gave a laugh, half amusement, half contempt.

“Its a good get-up, I will give you that,” he commented, “where’d  you get it from?” he asked.

Death did not reply.

“I said, Where'd you get it from? “he asked again.

“I am not here to answer questions, this is your last chance to say what you have to say,” reiterated Death.

“Oh fuck that shit, what is this, death bed confessions? I’ve nothing to confess to.”

“Really?” queried Death.

“Well, I’ve had my feuds, sure I have, but only because I have had to. Some people just like to annoy me, you know?” he wheezed and made as if to say something else and then seemed as if the effort was too much and let the thought evaporate.

Death let the silence hang. Jerry stared ahead into the darkness that was Death. He seemed to wrestle with something but whatever it was, it was beyond him.

“Make yourself useful, whoever you are, bring me something to drink,” he ordered, “I´ve a right fucking thirst here.”

Death did not move.

“Get me a drink, fuck me, you tell me I am dying and you won’t even get me a drink,” snapped Jerry, “go fuck yourself then, I´ll get myself a fucking drink, what is wrong with this bed?” Again he sought to rise but found he could not do so.

“Have you not something you would like to say to Mary?” coaxed Death.

Jerry twisted his head as if aware for the first time that Mary was present.

“Huh? Mary? Yeah, oh yeah, Mary, be a doll and get me a drink, fucking mouth like Ghandhi´s flip flop.”

The sound of air escaping the airtight tomb came once again.

“Mary? Mary!” demanded Jerry before he started to cough once again.

“She cannot hear you,” explained Death with infinite patience.

“Not surprised, the lazy cow has nodded off, wake her up will you, Christ what do I have to do to get a drink? My wife is asleep and you Mr Death man, you are just as useless,” chided Jerry.

“So, last chance Jerry, business is brisk at the moment, plenty of other punters with Never Moments ahead, time to speak or forever hold your peace. And it really is forever, there’s no afterlife for the likes of you,” commented Death.

“Quit your jibber jabber and pass me something to fucking drink you clown,” hissed Jerry.

“Anything to say to the children you beat?”

“Brats needed discipline.”

“Anything to say to your long gone parents?”

“Thanks for nothing.”

“What about the lads in the bar?”

“Yeah, those turds can get me a drink oh and a cig, come on, just do it will you?”

“So? No remorse for the people you have hurt, the lives you’ve  marred, the decent people you have repeatedly tormented and stolen from? Any choice words of contrition for your monumental failings as a father? Any warm recollections for Mary and her unstinting dedication to the absolute tragedy of your marriage?”

“Quit with the dictionary words Mr Big Brain, fuck me, you’d give an aspirin a headache the way you go on,” retorted Jerry before another paroxysm of coughing took him.

Death said nothing more.

“Thank fuck for that, thought you would never stop, where´s me drink? Mary? Come on woman, wake up!”

Jerry peered into the darkness again, his head lifted and he strained. He gave a snort of contempt as he saw nothing at all.

“This is just a prank. Old Jerry is built to last, I am not going to die,” he said defiantly.

“Oh yes you are. It is enough,” answered Death.

Death brought forth his scythe from the shadows and it cut through the air above Jerry´s bed. A death rattle rose from the chest and he then slumped back into the bed, eyes closed, life extinguished.

Death had now departed. The Never Moment had concluded. The low lights of the trailer returned. In the distance a dog barked and then fell silent.

Mary slept on.

Jerry Lowe the Lower Lesser Narcissist lay dead.

68 thoughts on “The Death Bed Narcissist : Lower Lesser

  1. Chihuahuamum says:

    This is exactly how i envision the last moments for these types. What humors me is how many miraculoualy “find God” either on their death bed or when theyre sent to prison. Chris Watts is a prime example. Now that he’s been in prison he is a new person and reads the bible. He has seen the wrong doings of his life in a very short time…smh
    I do think before we depart were able to back track over our lives and see how our actions affected others as well as regrets we may have had.
    Narcissists rarely see the light pun intended. They dont believe in an afterlife or higher being bc they are their own God and are in total control. One narcissist comes to mind lately who i wont mention. He thinks hes indestructable and will gloat but he will face the darkness one day and in his moment will be exactly the same way. He wont be accountable for any of his disgusting deeds or their affect on millions of people. I would love to see him muted like this lower narcissist thatd be humorous and satisfying!!! lol

  2. WokeAF says:

    You should see the LL who can’t even deny their health conditions bc it’s that bad- crunched up from contratures etc. , can’t move, totally helpless. Nobody visiting .
    Even then they don’t have any awareness. At all.
    They disappear into themselves so it looks like there’s nobody home other than to occasionally bark an order or swear or say something inappropriate . Stare into space.

  3. Fiddleress says:

    I enjoyed reading this a lot, the writing is brilliant. I love the humour, as always.

    The wife’s name is quite apt too: she had to be a saint to put up with him for so long!
    A shame she didn’t know about GOSO, for the children too.

  4. Cup Cakes says:

    I learned my lesson

  5. Kim e says:

    While I must say I enjoyed this I am still waiting for the Creature to make an appearance 😈😈

  6. MB says:

    What an excellent Grim Reaper you are HG! As ever, very patient. Some are just beyond help. Such a creative way to learn. I can’t wait for more!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you, MB.

    2. lickemtomorrow says:

      HG was very patient. I would have used the scythe the minute he said “Who the fuck are you?” 😛

      My patience for lessers is non-existent.

  7. Claire says:

    You spoiled us, HG🙂! Such an entertaining article🙂! I agree with Ren, it reminds of Pratchett .

  8. NarcAngel says:

    I really enjoyed the read and humorous bent on the message. I am unsurprised by the lack of recognition, contrition, or remorse. They don’t feel these things and never showed them in life, so it does surprise me when people think it will make any difference to them in the end (especially given that they don’t believe in anything greater than themselves). It shows how powerful ET is vs LT that people might still hope for or expect that.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I’m pleased you enjoyed the article, NA.

  9. Whitney says:

    That was outstanding. I had to stop reading because death is scary.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you, Whitney.

  10. alexissmith2016 says:

    Incredible to have this degree of insight! Just wow! Poor Mary.

  11. Miss_AGL says:

    So many brutal truths here…
    This is such a brilliant piece of writing HG!!!
    Your talent is truly admirable!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you, I am pleased you found it both interesting and instructive.

  12. JB says:

    Very interesting and entertaining article. Will you be writing a similar article on the midranger and greater?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Depends how well behaved you all are!

      1. JB says:

        Ah it must be a done deal then, I’m sure everyone is always impeccably behaved on here! 😇 😂

      2. Renarde says:

        Ha ha! Only you could say that!

  13. December Infinity says:

    I enjoyed reading this. The lower lesser narcissist deserves to go out like that. Death is the end.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed, we are all on our way out, act accordingly.

      1. December Infinity says:

        Thank you. Very true. Act accordingly.

      2. JB says:

        An interesting thought!

      3. NarcAngel says:

        “Indeed, we are all on our way out, act accordingly.”

        Act accordingly? My first thought was: That sounds like a cognitive response directed at non-narcissists to engender emotion and fit in, but perhaps I’m wrong.

        Even if you provide the scenario for The Greater narcissist at some point, it will be generalized.

        Will you expand on what you see as “accordingly” for yourself? The Ultra?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          All I shall say is keep reading, NA!

        2. MB says:

          I wondered the same NA. What I want to know even more is what HG will say to MatriNarc on hers. The suspense!

          1. Kim e says:

            MB. Do you actually think HG will be there when MN is on her deathbed? I am leaning towards NOT

          2. MB says:

            Kim e, oh yes! If there is any way possible he will. He wouldn’t miss that for the world! There is talk about it sprinkled about on the blog. He will literally have last word, and he already knows what he’s going to say but of course won’t reveal it.

        3. Renarde says:

          NA

          Oh, I think I can write the one for the Greater.

          The end will be noble and just. There will be a shocking twist for those that expect something of him who do not deserve it.

          He will be spirited away, on a boat, guarded by three beautiful women. Sailing to Avalon where he will sleep. Until we need him again.

          Fin

      4. burntkrispykeen says:

        HG, do you know of any narcissists who, upon their impending death, started to display a sense of regret (sincere not feigned)?

        Conversely, through your interactions of counseling (counselling 🙂) many empaths, are you aware of any situations where their narcissist had revealed any sort of deathbed confession with the sole purpose to further wound his/her victim? I realize that your consultations are confidential, but I am curious as to how often the narcissist goes out fighting, trying to get in one last hurtful hit?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No and nobody ever will.

          Yes.

          1. burntkrispykeen says:

            I have seen death, upclose and personal, on more than one occasion. The experience obviously has a similar component within all, yet there are variations during the dying process that I find perplexing. I was asking in hopes that you would be able to yield a real-life example of how a narcissist hurled some sort of “dark secret” with the sole purpose to wound. (A IRL example of Nasty-Until-The-Last Breath Jerry) Now that a see a part-two of The Final Departure topic, I was pleased and surprised. So I must ask… Is everything okay with you and the family? HG, have you had your yearly comprehensive physical exam, and have you scheduled your colonoscopy?

          2. WokeAF says:

            Ha
            I was also going to ask if these are based on many personal experiences watching narcs of various schools face death .

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Yes.

          4. MB says:

            Do you know a Jack Goff in real life HG? He must be a blast. (In small doses!)

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Numerous Jack Goff´s thus shards of them are drawn on to create the Jack Goff in this tale.

          6. burntkrispykeen says:

            Hello WokeAF! I am happy that you had the same curiosity… and were able to decipher my post. I often rush through my thoughts and then cringe at all my typos… use of the wrong article and getting present/past tense verbs jumbled up all in the same sentence. (A part of me was actually hoping nobody would read it! 🙈😃) But it is always comforting when someone else shares your thoughts, so thank you, WAF. 🙂 I see HG has answered that he DID use an* IRL experience here. I was also curious/worried because most narcissists don’t usually like to entertain the thought of death. Do you think HG knows of a narcissist who is finding himself/herself on the “other side of the grass” about to experience a “reset character?” He’s made it clear that a character reset won’t happen here 🌎 but … 🕊😇! Evolution is change, and it presents itself in many forms. I do hope, HG, that your and your family’s health is sound! 💚 None of us are getting younger. P.S. The drugs they give for a colonoscopy are pretty amazing. (Not the prep drugs, 💩 but the sedation. You might even experience a dream. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

          7. HG Tudor says:

            My health is without incident or concern, which includes yours. With regard to my family, there are varying degrees with regard to its extensive nature.

          8. burntkrispykeen says:

            Greetings Sweet MB! 😊 How are you doing? One time there was a reference to “large doses” in Amsterdam, but I can’t remember the details. Do you? All that I can remember is HG gave enough details to pique curiousty – then he left us dry. (Not literally.)

          9. MB says:

            Hey BKK! It’s good seeing you back around. I’m not around nearly as much due to career obligations, but I try to spend some free time here because I enjoy it. It’s a hobby, which can quickly turn into an addiction though so it’s a slippery slope. Amsterdam? I have no recollection whatsoever. Like WhoCares, I remember talk about the bourbon tour. I’ll have to think on the “large doses”. Was he speaking of using ecstasy and wanting to “dance and fuck”? Amsterdam seems a good place for that (so I’ve heard anyway).

          10. burntkrispykeen says:

            Yes, MB… I completely understand what you mean about addiction and the amount of time we spend with what consumes us. I wish you the best in your new career!
            I left the mountains to head further south. Traveling through Georgia, I had you on my mind. It is nice to see that you are doing well. 🤗

          11. burntkrispykeen says:

            I am pleased to know that your health is well, HG. (Concern diverted.) Regarding your extensive family, I do wish for everything to work out in the best possible way. 💝

        2. WokeAF says:

          Yes but it’s purely selfish regret. They are terrified to die , they are trying to save their own soul , so to speak. With the Lessers and mid range , if they are instinctively behaving as HG says, then they genuinely believe their regret is real , but I see it more as bargaining with death , or a desperate plea for a good afterlife.
          The mid rangers can see they did “wrong” and can display regret , but they have no real concept of the damage they did.
          It’s a scrabbling, desperate last ditch attempt at saving their own soul.

      5. Better Call HG says:

        HG, I always appreciate when you reference the Departed. I’m confident things will end much better for you than Frank Costello!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Naturally and good to see you BCHG.

  14. lickemtomorrow says:

    The ultimate threat to his control – death.

    And Jerry is incomprehensible.

    The opportunity for a final act of contrition lost to him.

    Jerry is not going to die. He is not going to give up control.

    Narcissist or not, death will have the final say.

  15. burntkrispykeen says:

    😃😆😂

  16. Eternity says:

    Keep on writing new material HG !from politicians ,to stories, to articles. Loved it!

  17. Mercy says:

    HG,

    This was great. I love it when you give me new lines to use on my know-it-all coworker. “Quit with the dictionary words Mr Big Brain”

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Oh that’s the retort of the Lower or Middle Lesser Mercy, I can furnish you with something of a greater finesse!

      1. Mercy says:

        HG, that would be great although I’m not sure Mr Big Brain would understand. I have to start writing these one liners down. I’m still trying to find the perfect moment to use “you bet your grannies teeth”

  18. Christopher Jackson says:

    damn this was another good one hg had me on the edge of my seat reading this as usual ….always,always a good read thanks for sharing

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am pleased you were gripped by it CJ.

  19. Leigh says:

    I hope there’s a mid range and greater version too.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Now, you know what I tell you about hope.

      1. Leigh says:

        This one I know. Hope is used against because it dies last! Ooof!

  20. Asp Emp says:

    “Death nodded again, unmuting Jerry” – made me laugh, because it sounded as if Jerry was a television or radio and the ‘ranting’ was being flicked on / off as per remote control. I have read what I have just typed – this is what a narcissist does – listens to what they want to, not what is actually being said.

    “fucking mouth like Ghandhi´s flip flop” – LOLOL, ah, bless you, HG, for writing this…… LOL.

    I view this article – brilliantly written – I loved this, the way it’s worded, they way it describes, it made me laugh so much – just like Narc Tales Vol 1 & 2 – as HG’s version of Ebenzer Scrooge (Google search shows different spellings…. ah, fk it!). Ebenzer’s Christmas has come VERY early 😉 Ah, no, I got it very wrong – it’s HG’s version.

    I really, really look forward to reading about the MRN and the Greater’s versions (yours, HG, if that’s ok with you). If you have time HG – I know it’s a lot to ask of you. Maybe the MRN’s version on 31st October 2020 (GMT) and HG’s version 23rd December 2020 GMT?……

  21. WokeAF says:

    Liked it.

  22. Renarde says:

    This has brought me to tears. It is incredibly well written. It very much reminds me of Pratchett.

    Last Christmas I watched a documentary on him. The author Val McDirmond said the most heartbreaking thing she had ever read was when Granny Weatherwax was visited by Death. They talk and she says, ‘When the end comes Death, will it hurt?’. He takes her by the hand and says gently ‘My dear, it already has’.

    When that day finally comes, I hope I have the courage to look him in the face.

  23. FoolMe1Time says:

    Oh HG I absolutely loved this! You make learning so much fun!! Haha!

  24. FYC says:

    Ill-governed mouth indeed! This is a very apt portrayal of a LLN, and a very enjoyable read. Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  25. Truthseeker6157 says:

    I’m loving the new material HG.
    No recognition whatsoever for Mary. Everything she would have done for him, all she will have given up and even at the very end, no recognition whatsoever. Just more ‘I want’.

    I’m expecting the Mid Ranger to beg for mercy and forgiveness, cry and claim nothing was his fault, whilst the Greater attempts to charm and broker a deal. We’ll see.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am pleased you are enjoying it, TS6157.

      1. Witch says:

        It’s incredibly sad that there are people who stay in these marriages until death. All the years and potential happiness wasted! All the things Mary could have achieved if she wasn’t with a narc. Her children’s childhood destroyed. Years of terrible sex and remaining deprived of intimacy. No one to even make her a good cup of coffee just how she likes it every morning. Every holiday hell, no one has visited.
        Mary would have experienced thousands of emotional deaths before the narc bit the dust

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Lesson to be learned and why GOSO must be adhered to.

        2. Renarde says:

          Witch

          I hear you. Mary’s plight is the concept of the ‘sunk fallacy’. There would have been a time when she couldve done a GOSO. For whatever reason, she did not.

          I see this in my own mother who readily admits in her old age that she does not love him and he does not love her. Yet, she stays.

          My father is a UMRNC. What she is, well quite frankly, I need to consult The Boss on that.

          I have been in said position twice. Both times I bailed. My children, my own life and sanity were far more important than money, house, trappings etc. I always knew I could build them back up again, you see.

          Even now, it has begun.

          Poor Mary.

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