Prayer for the Victim
“I will pray for you because I know that you seek redemption at my loving hand. It is understandable. You are a lost soul. I know, hush, you need not speak for restoration hangs from my lips. Listen and allow my words to grant you the salvation that you are so desperate for. I know what you are. I know because I am everywhere, I am everyone and I am everything.
I understand what has happened to you. I know how you have been let down. I know how disappointment followed you like an unshakeable shadow, no matter how you applied yourself. Oh I know beneath the sin you are a good person. Your acts and your words are like beams of white light that have punctured through the dark firmament that has wrapped itself around you, cloaking you in the venom that was placed over you so long ago. Others think that they know you, but they do not.
They think that this person who moves through life, never seeking to offend or hurt, never wanting to wound or injure, a person who wishes to bring calm, bring healing and bring solace to this world, they think that this person becomes weighed down by the misery, the chaos and the injustice which rises like some ever encroaching tide. They think that it is this which causes those pure tears to trickle down that unblemished skin.
They think that it is all of those things which coil like rusty chains about you, dragging you down, hauling you into the quagmire of human misery and dejection. They are mistaken. You can readily with those outrageous slings and arrows. You are made of stern stuff. The insults only spur you on to succeed. The recalcitrance is but a signal to you to keep trying. The rejections just symptomatic of those you wish to help not understanding their own pain.
Yes, it is trying, but you are able to rise above all of this. The woes of this world are not designed to weigh heavy on one such as you. I know this. The others do not. I understand that you were sent to bring light and love to the unloved, the broken, the hurt and the despairing.
No matter how poisonous the world you will breathe your purity out, ever giving and ever resourceful until you have pushed aside those toxic clouds, dissipated the polluted fogs and brought restorative blue skies and dazzling sunshine. You are someone who is able to right the wrongs of this world. I recognise all of this.
I also know that it is not these external troubles which mean that I must pray for you. It is the burden that lies deep within you. Few know of it do they? Just you and perhaps him oh and them as well but they do not want to talk about it do they? They did not back then.
They did not listen and you must be heard, isn’t that right? I listen to you. The difference is though I actually hear you. I hear that silent tortured scream which emanates from you regularly. That howling wilderness that exists inside someone who appears to be so wholesome. The rest of them are too eager to avail themselves of your goodness so that they fail to notice the wounds which are riddled throughout you.
The weeping sores, the festering wounds all caused by him so long ago. None of them recognise these things but I do. I am trained to do so. I am attuned to scent your agony which you mask so well but it is that pain which acts like a siren’s call to me because I am the only one that can save you. Those fools that mill about you, all they wish to do is take from you and you allow that to happen because you regard that as your role. It is admirable in the extreme.
The extent of your serenity when they might sorely test you is quite the thing to behold. Yet, there is no solace for you is there? Where is your tranquillity, your place of sanctuary? That has always been denied to you has it not? Well, no longer, for I have been sent in order to redeem you. I am the bottomless receptacle into which you must pour yourself. Alleviate yourself of the leaden weight of despair and with such excellent proclamation, cast it into me. I shall absorb it all.
Everything that has plagued you, pained you and seared through you with terrible agony can now be poured into me. I am your saviour. All I ask is that you allow your every emotion to be exhibited and exposed and in return I will be the one that finally cures you of those entrenched woes. Nobody understands what you have endured, but I do. I did not see what happened to you but I know what happened to you. It is etched across you, in the way you smile, the way you move, the way you love.
Only I can recognise this and in turn that is why it is only me that can be your salvation. Nobody else can achieve that for you. You do not even know it but that is why you are drawn to me in this manner, with such intensity. You think that you know what I am. You do not. You will come to think that you must repair me and make me good once again. But it is you that must be mended.
There is something very wrong with you, something that happened so long ago that often you forget what it is, but it will not forget you. I am the redeemer. I am your salvation.
Kneel before me and with my anointed hand, let me place it on your wretched head and in so doing I shall cleanse you. You have found me now and you shall never be parted from me, for now it is only I that can save you.”
15 thoughts on “Prayer for the Victim”
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Thank you, excellent! why is it so difficult to disconnect emotionally from the narcissist? despite all the harm they do to us?
Freedom,
It is difficult to disconnect emotionally from the narcissist because as empaths we have an addiction to narcissists. We don’t behave in the same way with normals or other empaths.
When we interact with the narcissist our Emotional Thinking rises. The purpose of this Emotional thinking is to feed the addiction. Keep us interacting with the narcissist. Emotional Thinking is not to be confused with ‘being emotional’. Emotional Thinking is the suspension of logical thinking, so that decision making is poor, we feel ‘cloudy’ and we are driven to keep interacting with the narcissist. This might mean we stay put in the relationship, or, when disengaged from we continually seek to interact with the narcissist again.
The addiction, what it is, how it works and how you can master your Emotional Thinking to achieve freedom from the narcissist is explained in The Addiction Triple Package. I can’t recommend this package highly enough. It was the key to my understanding, and it is what has kept me No Contact since listening to it.
https://narcsite.com/2020/05/22/the-addiction-triple-package-4/
Maybe in a strange way he did save me. Certainly did me a favor anyway as I now know what I’ve been dealing with my entire life, with my mother. I knew there were problems with her, we all did, but I would’ve never guessed narcissism. But, HG has confirmed it and, now, once I learn how to address it in a more effective manner, I will be better off. I can thank the narc that came along last summer for this.
I can relate to this. I already has a burgeoning awareness about my mother, and when I was with my ex-husband I knew he was a lot like her, but this last narc really put narcissism on the map for me. Probably because of my complete blindness to him in the situation where I sat discussing narcissism with him. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. Probably why I have a penchant for checking the obituaries from time to time.
That is so strange!! I had the thought at times that my ex husband was like my mom in some ways and I had the same thought on a few occasions with the narc from this last summer! A familiarity, even a sense of security! Oh no! Lolol! Now I really hope HG’s material is effective! Lol. I never before realized…I want to date my mother! Ewww! Lolol, it’s funny even a it’s horrifying! Well, at least I’m laughing this morning!
AV
Being able to find humour in the horrible is a great sign.
Thank you NA. It seems to be a choice between laughing or crying much of the time right now. As such, I’ll take all the laughing I can get!
Hi AV, good to know you were able to get a laugh out of that one, and it is quite a shock when you recognize the similarity. I’d picked up on aspects of it during my marriage and over time it became clearer. Now it’s crystal clear. The total lack of empathy for starters. I was drawn to what I knew, and accepted behaviours and treatment I had learned to tolerate. I didn’t know any better and carried that vulnerability within me. I’m only learning more about it now. But, the good news is it’s never too late. And even better if we can laugh about it coming out on the other side of it as well x
And, I understand the obituary thing, I have done that with both of those men, between the liver thing and my ex’s lifestyle. But it’s probably unhealthy, you’re correct about that I’m sure. The summer one and I talked very briefly about narcissism, I said I was studying it for was friend going through a divorce from one though I told him to see how he’d react as I was walking up. He stopped trying to blame her at that point and changed the subject. Later, after I’d been talking about my mother once, he and I had mother problems on common, at least supposedly, he sent me a link to a narcissist blog, I think he knew what she was. It has made me wonder if he knows what he is also. Strange reactions. I doubt it now, knowing the infrequency of greaters.
HG, will an unaware narcissist recognize narcissism in another?
Ordinarily no, if they do, it is coincidence. Unaware narcissists (usually MRN) tends to label the narcissist label at a non-narcissist empathic victim.
A Victor,
It is our way to want to pull something good out of something bad. The fact that last Summer’s narc started the ball rolling on your understanding of narcissism and led to the confirmation of your mother being one is a positive, most definitely. Be careful not to attribute this to him as being seen as good, or good for you in any way. He wasn’t.
This is a trap I’m still very much caught in. The accidental positives of the entanglement.
YOU found your way here. YOU arranged the consultation with HG. YOU are educating yourself so that YOU make the changes needed to feel better. All YOU. Try not to give your ET any opportunity to see the narc in a positive light. Any positives that come out of that entanglement are purely coincidental.
Thank you for your caution to me Truthseeker. I do not view him as good as the result of my understanding, only that good came out of a bad situation. But, I can see where on a day of high ET I might twist my own thinking into this and give myself the go-ahead to break NC. It is a caution worth taking note of and I appreciate it! It is easy for me to give credit to others when sometimes I should likely accept it for myself.
AV
We readily accept responsibility but rarely accept credit. It is you that’s taking control of things now. That is to be celebrated.
You are correct on this one. He actually did save me from something that happened a long time ago. Something I buried deep inside, so deep I forgot about it. Or maybe I never did?
When it broke out the pain was intense but only for a few seconds. Then the amazing relief kicked in.
Hi Jaana,
I listened to HG read this and it had quite an effect on me. I felt particularly tearful. The written version didn’t impact me the same. Think that’s as much as I’m prepared to say on it personally.
It reminds me of Milton seducing Mary Ann in Devil’s Advocate. There are echoes of what was said in that speech. Long time since I’ve watched it though.
Welcome to the blog Jaana 😊