Which is the Most Promiscuous Narcissist?

47 thoughts on “Which is the Most Promiscuous Narcissist?

  1. A Victor says:

    My MMRA ex was plenty promiscuous. But the ULA Somatic was a shoe-in for most promiscuous. So glad I never met mine in person.

    1. leelasfuelstinks says:

      My MMRA Elite was utterly disgusted of sex and everything which has to do with it, He looks down to promiscuous people with so much arrogance, smug and disgust, you won´t believe it! He´s oh so much better than that and oh so special with an oh so strong moral compass.

      Same goes for a former co-worker (unknown school and cadre, probably Elite): She was always dressed up to the nines, is married, but utterly disgusted of sex, lashed out whenever somebody made a dirty little joke 😉 While everybody was laughing, she gagged and almost threw up. 😀

      The complete opposites are Patri Narc and my ULA Somatic ex and my other ex (unknown Somatic). They “love attractive women” who are dressed up to the nines, sex is one of the most important things in life for them: sex, money, appearance, for Patri Narc also the facade, the representation. IPPS (mom) must always look her best.

      Patri Narc was not promiscuous, but of course cheated, the other two indeed were and bragged about their sexual conquests.

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        Interesting. someone my friend dated and then married, likely UMR elite? possibly MMR he was always so condemning of anyone who cheated in a relationship. Found it all repulsive etc. My friend later found out that he was shagging many many women, meeting them from the internet etc

        Maybe look one way and point another

        1. A Victor says:

          My ex met them standing right next to me a couple of times. Or across a counter from us in a store, or a table in a restaurant, or at the beach, next towel over etc. Not sure what signals he gave out but whatever they were, they worked for him.

          1. ThAts awful AV! Jesus how did you feel and what did you do?

          2. A Victor says:

            Well, not much really. I got upset at that moment, which I’m sure was fuel for him, and then proceeded to accept his explanation, which were lies. I accepted that he was actually gambling all night with friends (for the third or fourth night in a row) for example. Or working. This was mostly before we were married. Once we were married he kept them more separate from me, I suspected and there was evidence at times, but he didn’t usually meet them in front of me any more. The beach one was early on, we were committed as boyfriend/girlfriend but I literally waited at the car, watching him talk to this woman, for about a half hour. I was really angry. He “explained” that she just needed someone to talk to as she was going through a rough time. I was a complete idiot. And, away it went. Looking back, even if he didn’t sleep with all of them, though I know of several he did, they were most useful to him for triangulation, which, until now I hadn’t realized he did so much. Good to know, a new aspect of the thing and with regard to a mid-ranger.

          3. alexissmith2016 says:

            It’s astonishing when we look back and truly see what’s going on! I remember when I first joined the site thinking how the N who helped me find this place! Was the first N I’d been involved with, although I recognised most of my female friends had been Ns. But contemplating since then, I realise almost everyone I dated has been an N ffs but luckily it was only this particular one who truly had a devastating albeit temporary impact. Somehow the man I married is not an N. Not sure quite how I managed it lol but I’m very happy I did

          4. A Victor says:

            Alexissmith,
            Thinking about your comment. I think it goes back to a complete lack of understanding what I should have been able to expect, my rights so to speak, in a committed relationship. One of the points on the recent “The Impact of the Parental Narcissist” spoke to me of that. Also why it is so extremely difficult for me to ask for anything, it is all tied together I think. Ugh, more to sort and process. I am not liking this all today. But, thank for your comment, it has made me think and that is a good thing overall.

          5. alexissmith2016 says:

            Yes our expectations about how we should be treated stems hugely from our parents. They set the standards of what we should expect. It’s only when you’re treated well that you realise how wrong it all is. And we have to work out for ourselves what is acceptable.
            I’m pleased you’re working your way through it all AV. But sorry you’re finding it difficult today. It is tough but once you work through the bad stuff in your head it can make it easier to offload it. Huge hugs xx

          6. A Victor says:

            Thank you Alexissmith, knowing it will get easier helps. Knowing I have to work out for myself what is acceptable is a bit scary, where do I even start, but I don’t have to do that today. 🙂

          7. I think AV sometimes it’s easier if you think would this be acceptable if it happened to someone you truly love and care about and there you will find your answer x

          8. A Victor says:

            Oh yes, that helps a lot. Thank you Alexissmith!

          9. leelasfuelstinks says:

            You know what I think? I think many narcs marry only for the facade, of course for the Prime Aims, but facade plays a very important role, especially for Mid Rangers.

            Male narcs often marry “Madonna”-types, those who are caring, with strong moral compass, loving, mothering, with good heart, compassionate, etc.

            And secretly they go and screw the “Whores” (those whom they perceive as sluts or even the real hookers), while some withhold sex from their partners and some do not. Almost all of my male narcs are total misogynists! Patri Narc I don´t know.

            My Upper Lesser A Somatic openly admitted it. Madonna/Whore complex. Mommy, sister and granny are good, all other women are sluts! Exactly his words.

            MMRA Elite: Mommy is good, absolute must-have for a future wifey is a strong religious moral compass. All other women are disgusting. Exactly his words.

          10. A Victor says:

            I think you are correct.

          11. leelasfuelstinks says:

            Oh, I forgot: “My” Somatic (unknown school) ex-affair married a woman who EXACTLY looks like his mother! Any questions? 😉

          12. A Victor says:

            Yes, my ex had that Madonna/whore thing going on too. He was very strict regarding what he would allow/do with me and yet he told stories of prior experiences that I know he did not hold to the same “standard”. It didn’t make sense until now. And, I do look a fair amount like his mother did but, she had 8 kids in 11 years and had to beg the priest to let her take birth control, so I think her situation was quite different though not necessarily better. My ex thought he was good because he didn’t treat me the way his dad treated her, all verbal, that we knew of, but absolutely horrible.

          13. leelasfuelstinks says:

            Those male narcissists mostly choose what they perceive as the “Madonna-type mother” for wife. And as we know: The Madonna is pure, holy, honest, a Saint and according to their logic, you don´t have sex with a Holy Saint or a “mother”. Sex is for the “whores”.

            According to those male narcs who have this complex, you cannot be loving, caring, a good mother, a good wife and a good lover at the same time. Black or white: a Saint or a Whore.

        2. leelasfuelstinks says:

          Oh the narc cheated? What a surprise! 😉 😀

          With my MMRA everything is possible. Whenever someone brought up women and sex as discussion topic he rolled out huge Pity Plays. 😉 😀

          MMRA operate facades, all the dirty laundry is done in secret. To me everything looked perfectly like the behavior of a Cerebral, loves to reject and degrade women, seemed to be utterly disgusted of sex, IPPS in devaluation hidden somewhere, looking for a “Madonna”-type of woman (religious, strong moral compass, mothering, caring) to marry.

          The only thing I can tell for sure: He´s a narc, so there are huge piles of dirty laundry well hidden behind the facade. 😀

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            From an outsider perspective I’m genuinely very interested in the facade abs what goes on below.

            I kind of love listening to their lies now and thinking and sniggering in my head what an utter load of bullshit and pretending to be taken in by what they’re saying. I have to remind myself of how hurtful their behaviour is. Any hurt for me has long since passed but I remember it was devastatingly painful when involved with one.

            I find it interesting re cerebrals (I don’t believe I’ve ever dated one) how they’re nit into the physical side of things at all and prefer to wank whilst watching porn or such like. I think it should be a punishment for them to have to have sex all day long, hmmm and all night long too with lots of messy bodily fluids Hahahah ffs whilst the elites and somatics are starved of any sex at all ever hahaha

          2. leelasfuelstinks says:

            “I think it should be a punishment for them to have to have sex all day long”

            LOL, Alexis, you make my day 😀 😀 Hahahaha! I never dated a Cerebral either, my last MMRA Elite was just a non-intimate relationship. He just openly admitted that he in fact prefers wanking by far.

            I don´t want to look behind the facade because I´m sure, if I do, I´m going to vomit, it´s so disgusting!

          3. A Victor says:

            Hmmm, I like the way you think! 🙂

        3. leelasfuelstinks says:

          A little fun fact: He never tried to touch me on certain body parts, he even seemed to be grossed out, he always pointed out what a decent man he is, suggesting what a slut I am. What I did not know for a very long time: While we were talking on the telephone or messaging per WhatsApp he was wanking! I had no idea! Eew!

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Hahhahaha ewwwwwwy! Gross but hilarious leela. Was that whilst you’re talking about the shopping, loading the dishwasher or what you’re planning to cook for dinner? What a Wanker hahah

          2. leelasfuelstinks says:

            It was whilst I was comforting him while he rolled out his massive Booo Hoooo Pity Plays. Or I was talking about hobbies of us: how much I enjoy doing X and Y. Whatever it was, what a wanker! He wanked a lot while we were talking. And I had no idea what he´s doing.

            He always appeared asexual. Was never interested in sex, openly and proudly admitted that sex is not his cup of tea. Even openly and proudly admitted that he prefers wanking by far. And I was wanking material and had no idea! Oh dear. 😀

      2. A Victor says:

        It is interesting to see the “judgement” of certain narcs toward what they consider to be beneath them. My dad was always against gambling for example, but was involved in other very narc-y behaviors with no problem.

        Years ago, prior to getting married to my ex, my brother suggested that the two of them be roommates. The absolute rejection, hard rejection, of that idea always hurt me for my brother, but also made me wonder why. It was so odd, they had a good relationship. After that, they pulled back from each other a lot, my brother never said anything about it. But, I think now I understand. Also, there was always a good outflow of money that went for “work expenses”, thousands a month. I was never allowed to see anything beyond that, he monitored everything closely, and I wasn’t allowed to ask, he supplied our needs well also and thus felt justified to stop that conversation. But now, I am certain that these things spoke to his involvement with other women. And likely other activities as well. It makes me sad to realize what a complete sham it was. I loved him with my whole heart and believed that we would be together forever. It also makes me sad that I gave him, or he took, the best years of my life, years I can never get back, years I should’ve been building something solid and enduring with someone. But, I had no idea how to do that, thank you parental units, and even more sadly, no idea that I had no idea how to do it, thus triggering me to learn about it. What a complete and utter mess. But, I keep thinking, better late than never. And, I did get 4 wonderful children out of that mess, so not all a loss. Anyway, enough reminiscing for this day, I need to work now. Thank you for walking through this with me, it is not easy but having people who understand does help a lot.

        1. leelasfuelstinks says:

          Don´t beat yourself up on that. 🙁 You have your wonderful children who were lucky and did not turn into narcs. You can always build something solid, no matter what age. Your “love” for your ex was not real! It was an illusion. Now you´re wiser and stronger and you found here to work on your “psychological trash” 😉 We all do, especially we ACONs. When it comes to love, there´s a nice song which goes “You can´t hurry love” and that´s the most important thing to note. TRUE love comes SLOWLY! There´s no “I love you” after one week of dating and there´s no “You´re the one I have always been looking for” after 2 dates or a couple of weeks. You GROW together! There´s no Cloud 9 and “I found my soulmate” but there´s “this interesting man” and there´s “I want to get to know you”. No love bombs but a lot of nice discussions, talks, going out, talking about hobbies, interests, job, attitudes, movies, music, whatever. Instead of “soulmate”-bullshit, there´s “I want to get to know you”. 🙂 That´s how a healthy relationship starts. 🙂

          1. A Victor says:

            Thank you Leela, I will reread your comment many times, until it sinks in. The only question I have is that you said my love for him wasn’t real? It wasn’t based on anything real but the love I gave to the nothingness was real? I think? Is there more to this that I am missing?

          2. leelasfuelstinks says:

            He´s a narc. He has no real personality, he just reflected one. So, he´s only a phantom anyway, he´s actually “nobody” but The Creature. You cannot really love a narc, because we love personalities and the narc has none. He reflects an illusion to you and that´s what you love.

          3. A Victor says:

            Oh, right. Ok, that’s probably a helpful piece. Gotta figure out how…

            Thank you!!!

          4. leelasfuelstinks says:

            You´re welcome! Guess why it is called the FALSE self 😉

          5. BC30 says:

            Schooling in a nutshell! I should frame this.

  2. Sarah says:

    Dr. KILDARE?? You’re dating yourself, HG! 😉

    1. HG Tudor says:

      And once again, I know about the Battle of Hastings in 1066, but I am not over 950 years old am I?

      1. BC30 says:

        or are you…? 🤔🧛‍♂️

      2. MB says:

        Only 950?! I thought everybody knew The Ultra is immortal.

      3. SARAH says:

        Ohhhh, I’m winking at you, you know! 🙂

  3. BC30 says:

    If I ever discover (or highly suspect) one of my partners is a N, I will IMMEDIATELY cease having sexual relations. They do not use protection for safer sex.

    Having done the NDs for both of my Ns, I’ve no doubt knowing which of these apply to mine.

    UMR– was very handsome and had more than one attractive IPSS who knew about one another. Bold!

    MMRA — face like a painter’s radio! 😂Oof. Yes, I fell for the romance not the looks.* I know that knowing there was not as much promiscuity on his part makes me feel better.

    *I’ve since had the WTF was I thinking epiphany. My friends finally fessed up that they didn’t want to tell me he was ugly. 🙈

    1. leelasfuelstinks says:

      Both Somatics?

      1. BC30 says:

        UMR — Somatic
        MMRA — Elite

      2. BC30 says:

        Leela, you just reminded me of something! UMR is everything MMRA wishes he was! 😂 A good part of MMRA’s dating profile was all about how he isn’t “Rico Suave” or “metro” or haughty and materialistic or whatever because he’s different. 😂

        1. leelasfuelstinks says:

          My goodness! Exactly the same here, sister! Those could be the words of my ex MMRA Elite! He´s not Adonis, appearance, sex and possessions are not important to him, he´s DIFFERENT, he´s SPECIAL!

          Almost exactly the same words. Not much promiscuity on his part either: This part of him is definitely Cerebral. When it comes to talk about sex you could see the disgust and smug on his face, no, that´s not important to him, he doesn´t give a shit about appearance, possession and sex, he´s a good man, a religious man, oh so special, not like the common people. Promiscuity? No! That´s way beneath him. The disgust on his face said more than 1000 words.

          UMR Somatic: Same here, sister! Handsome, even though almost 80 years old, looks way younger. Still sporty and fit, still haughty and arrogant, indeed very attractive IPPS, but as IPPS has put on weight, he puts her constantly down and calls her “too fat”. Arrogant, dominant, Mr. “I know what´s best for you”. Appearance, sex and money are everything that counts in life! HIS opinion is the only right one, everybody who thinks differently is an idiot. That´s my “daddy”: text book example of a Somatic!

          1. Sarah says:

            Sounds like my father!

          2. BC30 says:

            Yup. Robots. Automatons. All the same.

            https://narcsite.com/2020/11/07/ex-machina-15/

  4. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Very informative indeed! Consistent with most of the Ns I’ve self categorised. Pantman a likely type A. does chase but he’s careful most of the time to not let on to others.

    I’m really wondering what my original N was (well the one who caused me to find out about Ns), I had thought he was victim but now I know this is a streK which runs through all he’s most definitely not. Victim. I would have guessed then as perhaps type A but he’s not quite so careful as pantman I’m terms of facade. He is a serial cheat although I don’t think as into sex as a somatic at all. He wants the stories to tell. I’m certain he is an N/P he has a sadistic streak for sure. I’m confused.

  5. Whitney says:

    I’m guessing before I watch.

    Somatic. And then the higher the Narc, the more promiscuous. Better access to appliances.

  6. Anm says:

    I came here for HG’s english lessons on sexual slang again. 😂 That was great! I agree with Upper Lesser! 😂

    1. Sarah says:

      Hahaha, me too! Thx, HG! My favorite is shagging a barber’s floor.

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