Why Am I Behaving Like a Narcissist?
Why am I behaving like the narcissist?
This is a common question that I read and that I am asked.
It causes worry and anxiety, it also leads to holes occurring in the No Contact Regime because an empathic victim lays blame on themselves and then engages in remedial action which damages that all-important No Contact regime.
This material provides you with a pillar for your Logic Defences so that you understand what is happening and you start maintain theNo Contact regime.
This material addresses the following :-
Why am I behaving like the narcissist?
What is driving that behaviour?
Can I stop this behaviour and how does that happen?
Am I turning into a narcissist?
Is there such a thing as “narcissistic fleas”?
How the narcissist´s Campaign of Projection is involved
Does Emotional Thinking play a part and if so, how?
What should I look for to distinguish my behaviour from that of the narcissist?
Am I instinctively behaving like the narcissist and if so, why?
Am I consciously behaving like the narcissist and if so, why?
5 thoughts on “Why Am I Behaving Like a Narcissist?”
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I understand it in terms of the so-called “righteous anger” or “holy wrath.”
I’m not a narcissist. I respond to good with good, love and tenderness.
I have no remorses about “my” narcissist (I used to have it). Sometimes I worry about how he manages (to be eliminated!). In a way, he learns too. And if not – his loss.
I depend on this material to remind me of why I was, and still can be, a shithead. I’ve let ET rule me for so long that I really believed that I was a narcissist. I didn’t fully understand the concept of narcissists and empaths. I sincerely thought that both were just buzzwords. Now that I am understanding, both make complete sense. Applying logic to real life is a day to day experience. “Emotional thinking” is a phrase that I say and think to myself many times a day. Guilt creeps in that I didn’t listen to others that did understand. ET sigh… Just like learning anything important, having reminders means a lot. This audio is a sanity saver. 💐
SParham, I agree, this material is great. I was absolutely surprised my EDC came back with me as an empath, I thought there was no way. I also knew normal didn’t fit, so figured it must be narcissist. Learning I am an empath has changed my life and knowing why I can act as a narcissist at times has been part of that for sure. You are correct, the reminders are so valuable. I like your idea of thinking of ET several times a day, I do but not with intentionality, that is a great idea. It is a day to day skill that must be built and doing so consciously can only assist the process. Really good, thank you for sharing that.
I can’t express how lovely it is to connect with other empaths. I’ve not felt this comfortable sharing as much as I do on this blog and HG’s YouTube channel. I could careless about the haters, “come say that to my face mofo.” 😝. I can only describe it as a weight off of my heart. Thank you A Victor for your kind words.
Normal is certainly a word that does not apply to me. My lesser has reminded me many times of that. “No one likes you, you’re too different.” “You don’t do anything normal.” That’s total bs and for the first time I can accept that. People trust me and know that they are safe. There are a just a small few that I’ve let know we ain’t friends. I now know that these were narcs trying to manipulate me.
It’s like I’m genuinely sweet but can be nasty if needed. I’m actually pretty quiet in life and prefer to do my own things. But, I can be animated when I engage with folks. My daughter (narcissistic) calls me “queen of the smart asses,” “you’re too nice” and that “I play too much.” Hence, my belief my test results would be a narcissist.
Now that see myself from empathic eyes I’m getting it. I still have a ways to go, ET doesn’t instantly disappear. I fully believe there’s a learning curve to this. Most especially in older folks, like myself, who have been entrenched in this mess for way too long. Strategies have changed in my mind, that is so not easy. I admit everything has changed. I physically and emotionally feel the best that I have in years. HG reminds me to give myself a break. 💐
SParham, I understand completely about the blog and the “weight off of my heart” description, a perfect description of what this blog does for me too. I can never thank HG enough for creating and moderating it. I don’t typically share on YT, it’s just not where my comfort level is, but on a couple of videos that hit exceptionally close to home I have. And I have done a few comments which I have almost immediately deleted also. I don’t handle the haters well, I really hate conflict and my heart hurts over it. But, I do watch the videos, for the most part, they are amazing.
Normal does not apply to me either and my Mid Range ex made sure I knew it. Not often, I think I am pretty sensitive to criticism though there was a time I would not have seen that about myself. But over all the years, he said very little but it had a huge impact on my thoughts and behaviors. People have always been drawn to me also, I don’t understand it, I have no Magnet cadre and I really have not liked most people much. But, still they come. I have decided that something about me seems inviting and safe, or maybe fun, not really sure. But since being here I have learned to have more confidence with them and not feel the need to get away as much. I am learning more about who I am and that I am okay as I am, it is very new and very refreshing.
It sounds like your daughter is fun. Have you done the EDC? If not, I really recommend it, it really has helped me understand so much about myself both with regard to the narcissists and just in terms of who I am, why I do certain things etc.
No, ET is kept high by interactions, living with a narc, mine is always a bit elevated, even when I don’t see her for days or weeks. Recently I was around her more because of a bday party and my ET went through the roof. I have been at my daughter’s house this week since and it is helping to bring it back down but I know it’s still not as good as it can get.
It is a learning curve for sure. I am older also but I have had the opposite experience I think. For me it has made so many things fall into place, things I have questioned most of my life, since I was old enough to question anything. It’s almost like I am grabbing a lifeline and finally see a way to go forward, maybe even toward health and wholeness. I have learned there are options and so many things I never knew about how things should actually be, like a healthy relationship, or how one even begins, that there are seriously bad people in the world, stuff like that. Yes, there is a lot of strategy changing, a lot of reprogramming that must happen. But for me it is not difficult in many ways because it was so missing, if that makes sense, like I was so ready to learn what was needed. And I didn’t even know there was a need there! Accepting some concepts is a bit difficult, like really understanding that they really see the world from a different vantage point. But I try with those to just accept them and try to remember it. The remembering is a challenge where a younger person would likely have an advantage for sure. And you are right, that is due to the many years of entrenchment.
I am so glad you are feeling good, that is an amazing side benefit that I have also experienced. Thank you for moderating this long comment HG. And thank you SParham for your reply, it was very nice to read!