“I’m a Good Guy!”

32 thoughts on ““I’m a Good Guy!”

  1. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Mr Bubbles and I were eagerly listening to this and both looked up at the same time and said, “the weasel” 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

    This is an excellent example of a red flag, self proclaimed good/nice guys
    Bit like those on their 3rd plus marriages 🤵🤵🤵
    🤣😂🤣😂

    Really enjoyed this one, so relatable, thank you 😊
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. Asp Emp says:

      Bubbles, no offence intended to anyone……why did reading your first sentence give me the impression of Sherlock Holmes and Watson listening to a ‘who-done-it’? 😉

      1. Bubbles says:

        Dearest Asp Emp,
        Haha
        It seriously was that kind of moment AE…….we both laughed. 🕵🏼‍♂️🕵🏻‍♀️
        “elementary my dear Watson”
        (Some of Cumberbatch’s Sherlock quotes, I can hear Mr Tudor saying) 🤣😂

        No offence taken AE, I’m not that kinda gal
        🤣😂🤣😂
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Bubbles, yes, I can understand (laughing). I also liked Jeremy Brett in the role of Sherlock. I didn’t think you were the type of gal, hence my audacity 😉 x

          1. Bubbles says:

            AE, brilliant actor Jeremy Brett. Apparently, he suffered from bipolar disorder and manic depression for most of his life.
            Sticks n stones gorgeous 🤣😂 x

        2. Asp Emp says:

          Bubbles, I’ve just seen your comment – sorry for late response. I didn’t know about Jeremy Brett’s difficulties yet he was brilliant in the role. The history of Arthur Conan Doyle is rather interesting 🙂

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Asp Emp,
            That’s quite ok AE, sometimes my replies are so late cos I’m still looking 😂
            Didn’t Mr Tudor say he considers those with bipolar to be narcissistic or did I get my brain wires crossed ? Most likely the latter 🤣
            And ‘yes’ to ACD 🕵🏼‍♂️
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Bubbles, laughing “still looking”. You haven’t a bloodhound that has flu by any chance? 😉 Ah, I think you may be referring to HG’s ‘The Borderline’ video? https://narcsite.com/2021/01/25/the-borderline/ I would suggest it is not your brain wires being crossed 😉 I shared the link in case you wished to examine it with ‘Dear Watson’ 😉 I hope you’re ok and thank you for your response, Bubbles xx

          3. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Asp Emp,
            Many thanks for providing the link AE. I shall take a good squiz at it, I don’t think I’m the flu induced bloodhound so much, bit more like this 🦥
            🤣
            I’m excellent AE, fully vaxxed, great health, thank you for asking ….I do hope you’re travelling well, you’re certainly are on fire here 🤩

            🤗 to you dear AE
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          4. Asp Emp says:

            Bubbles, glad to be of assistance dearest Bubbles 🙂 It’s good to hear that you are doing ok. The ‘freed’ mind enables one to ‘travel’ well 😉 I seem to have ‘escaped’ well too 😉 I don’t have any extinguishers to hand though. Thank you for the hoog xx

          5. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Asp Emp,
            Mwah 💋
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  2. teresarudolph71 says:

    Thank you for posting this video. This reminds me of a co-worker who sexually harassed me for about five years at my first job, at the library. At the time I didn’t see it as sexual harassment, because I was so naive and I felt sorry for the guy. He also tried to act like a nice guy most of the time, with most people, and often relied on pity plays, playing the victim. He, too, had a sense of entitlement. He thought he had the right to grab any woman he wanted and do what he wanted with her. He seemed to feel that it was his right, as a man, though he would never do so if someone else was watching. He was very careful to only do this to me when he was alone with me. He would use the schedule to find out where I was working, and when I was working in an area where no one else was working, he would always show up and start grabbing me, or physically blocking me from getting out of the aisle that I was working in. But when he heard the elevator door opening, he knew that someone else was coming, and he would then skip away, giggling to himself, knowing that he had just gotten me into trouble by preventing me from getting any work done – after acting like he was about to die of a broken heart just a few moments earlier. After he did this a few times, I realized that when he acted wounded, this was all an act. He was really laughing inside.

    I once posted a question, on another site, about whether or not some narcissists would ever sexually harass someone, and I received a very indignant response from a couple of people who I think had been diagnosed with NPD. They said that this behavior was in no way related to narcissism, that a narcissist would be no more likely to do this than a neorotypical. They made a point of telling me that, though they had been diagnosed with NPD, they would never do this, as it would go against their code of ethics. Perhaps those people wouldn’t, but some more low-functioning narcissists, who don’t take rejection well, might.

    Sorry for my long response. I just had to get this off my chest. I don’t know why, but for some reason this incident, though it happened years ago, has been on my mind lately. This happened to me when I was working at a job that I truly loved, that I was really passionate about, and this was one of the things that ruined this job for me. If I could go back and do things differently, I wouldn’t have allowed him to load me down with guilt. I would have reported him much sooner. Oh well, I’m in a much better place now. I’m working for much better people, who treat me much better. And at the time, I didn’t really know any better. I didn’t even know what narcissism was.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome and no need to apologise for expressing yourself, this is a place where you are meant to express yourself having been denied the ability to do so elsewhere.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Thank you for that, HG. It means so much.

    2. WhoCares says:

      teresarudolph71,

      “They said that this behavior was in no way related to narcissism, that a narcissist would be no more likely to do this than a neorotypical. They made a point of telling me that, though they had been diagnosed with NPD, they would never do this, as it would go against their code of ethics.”

      What a load of crap
      .
      Glad you found HG’s site and it’s helping you make sense of past experiences.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        WhoCares, thank you for sharing your thought on their words to TR71. I agree with you.

    3. Asp Emp says:

      TR71, your comment was interesting to read. It may not necessarily be someone with narcissism. There is indication of a neurodiversity and there are a number of them with different traits of behaviours.

      As I was reading your words, I was reminded of a film, ‘Dead Man’s Shoes’ (2004), where a younger brother died because his older brother was not around to guide, protect and so on due to being a soldier.

      I agree with WhoCares comment to you in response RE: what the narcissists had to “suggest”. I was going to reply stating “absolute rubbish” in response to that. That clearly shows deflection, denial, blame-shifting (of their ‘behaviours’) and possibly gas-lighting you?

      Thank you for sharing your experiences. I hope you are feeling / thinking better today?

  3. RJAL says:

    Lion won’t tell you they’re a lion. Great article. I have had this one guy repeatedly ask me out, I’m married, I’ve told him several times I’m not interested. He keeps asking,so I went to his supervisor,who is a friend of mine and told him what’s been happening with him. I asked him to please talk to him before I go to HR. He did talk to him and then his reaction was, “I was just joking. Why is she so sensitive?” I still see him at work, but avoid him like the plague. He only has the chance to say hi before I’m out of range and sight. My instincts were right thinking he was a narcissist, this article confirmed it for me. Thanks HG

  4. WhoCares says:

    Ugh. Oh yes, I experienced a stalker variation on this type when I was younger….it was weird… it’s kind of flattering but at the time there is an ‘ick’ undertone to the whole to the whole experience and I just wanted to be left alone.
    I was an adolescent and he approached me and my friend while we were playing frisbee at a park (she and I were taking part in a summer recreational program) and yelled out “Shannon!?” as he rode by on his bicycle. He u-turned, came back to the park and apologized because he thought that I looked like someone he knew by the name of Shannon. He started chatting up my friend (while we continued playing frisbee) to find out stuff about me.
    He then joined the rec group and would follow me (even into the woods) when we played various organized games and he’d send his buddies to tell me that he was “nice guy”, and ask why wasn’t I interested?

    I thought he was just very determined. He definitely crossed a line when he started following me home (by bicycle) after the rec program was over, and would linger outside my house.

    This one is a great practical piece, HG – and so well explained.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

    2. Asp Emp says:

      WhoCares, thank you for sharing that. It reminded me of my own experience, similar to your story.

      1. WhoCares says:

        No problem Asp Emp – you had a bicycle stalker too?

        🙂

        1. Asp Emp says:

          WhoCares, how the hell did you know about the bicycle? 😉 Yup, he was older than me. He did not have the mental aptitude to be able to drive a car. Intelligence plays a ‘factor’ in my ‘criteria’ if you can understand. Besides I was ensnared by the Lesser at the time in any case. Of course, Lesser was also aggressive towards this guy purely because of ‘ownership’ over me…..

          I am amused about the bicycle reference though 🙂

  5. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Oh this was good. My original N precisely. Texting me literally hundreds of times each day. And I told him to fuck off, that he was needy. I wasn’t interested. We’re both married. Stop texting me, his reply to the last one, “I’m never going to stop texting you”. I change my number and delete his. Then he starts in person. “I’ve got cancer and you make me feel better.” I relent and give him my new number.

    I’ve known of two of these types whom have both been sacked for harassing women. They just do not see what they’re doing as wrong. But why would they when many times it works. It does truly amaze me though how they fail to pick up on the cues when someone really doesn’t like them and is also the sort of person to take it to HR.

    1. A Victor says:

      Wow…I didn’t realize they would act like this so frequently, but why didn’t I? It is interesting to me what still doesn’t compute sometimes.

    2. k mac says:

      Mine wasn’t needy at all. I did enjoy the good morning text everyday. I knew he wasn’t a “good guy” even though he presented himself as such most of the time. I had no idea about narcissism. I thought maybe an emotionally retarded douche bag.

      1. Wendy says:

        K Mac, “emotionally retarded douche bag.” I love the way you express yourself! 😂😂😂

        1. k mac says:

          Thanks Wendy 😊

      2. A Victor says:

        K Mac!! “an emotionally retarded douche bag.”. made me laugh so much! So accurate and well said!

        1. k mac says:

          Thank you AV! 😊

  6. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Let me tell you what a good guy I am by posting on social media this student card -whose handwriting is not at all suspiciously identical to my own- claiming that my compassion and my inherently natural educational aptitude make the classroom experience with me comparable to a semester retreat with Siddharta Gautama.

  7. Asp Emp says:

    For nearly 20 years I have known somebody and I have talked about it before. During those years, the ‘facade’ was visible but not visible. I got thinking about it after I read HG’s video. I found it useful because in it HG describes a number of ‘manipulations’ that became clearer to me about that person.

    I’d worked with that person. A number of times they had asked me out. A number of times they have messaged me since in god fu*ken knows how long it has been.

    I mentioned work. Because of the way they approached their work, did their work, “explained” several times why they did not do better at their work. A number of times they fkd up my filing system. Numerous times and by several people being asked to respect the property of the company’s assets of which had re-sale value. Had many days off sick, or the adult daughter had ‘issues’. Had a messy approach to their work, messy work-space BUT an IMMACULATE house and garden!!!

    Plus the fu*ken boring unintelligible conversations…..

    What gave me further ‘red flags’ was HG mentioning the school LMR / MMR A or B in the video. I can narrow it down to more of a Somatic in cadre but had a tendency to use pity-plays but not in a victim way.

    Now, my instincts always had a bit of ‘nah’ sensation, maybe, just maybe my ‘alarm system’ was right about this person from the start. I never had any ‘fear’ with this person yet I will remain my NC with them. If I don’t, I would be failing myself and putting myself at risk to the other narcissists (work prior to the last fu*ken organisation) in which I left over 10 years ago.

    So, thank you, HG for this video. It came at the right time 🙂

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