You Hurt the Narcissist Is Happy – What Is Going On?




Following disengagement from a romantic entanglement with a narcissist the hurt is substantial.

To make matters worse, the narcissist is swanning around happy. Or is he or she actually happy?

What is going on?

Understand how your hurt is more dangerous than you realise and what you can do about it?

Find out what is really going on inside the narcissist – the answer will assist you.

Listen here

15 thoughts on “You Hurt the Narcissist Is Happy – What Is Going On?

  1. Joa says:

    Beautiful coloring of the graphics! Wonderful!

    It’s me now:

    A thinking person, immersed in water, wonders what has happened to him, reflects on himself, life and the world.

    A music box with a ballerina is constantly drilling through his head. Neat, frilly, in a posed pose, with the face of a plastic doll. She keeps spinning and spinning, plays and plays music (fucking sounds), even though no one asks her to do it anymore.

    HG’s hand from heaven points to the culprit. Soon she will overturn the ballerina and only a torn trace will remain.

    The music will disappear in the depths of the water and only attract crayfish, fish and algae.

    No leaves on trees. Early spring.
    Fog and sun. It’s 8 o’clock in the morning. The water is still cool.

    Soon it will get brighter and warmer.
    A new, beautiful, peaceful day is coming.

    At last you can hear the chirping of birds and the sounds of life waking up.

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      Lovely description, Joa <3

      To both you and I the ballerina is an enemy in one sense. For me, she keeps me from seeing. For you, she is constantly taunting you with her music. For AspEmp, she is a strong and determined empath who needs to keep in mind the lessons she has learned.

      You have dismissed her, AspEmp has embraced her, I have acknowledged her.

      It is amazing how art can be interpreted and how we each can see something different.

      1. Joa says:

        LET, I usually have few some completely opposite interpretations. This applies not only to art, but also to events, for example.

        In fact, I could counter myself and use arguments. I use it sometimes at work. I can create “to suit” intentions. I have to be very careful not to enter into someone else’s intentions “too deep”, not to lose myself and how I think it should be.

        Of course, I love to follow my line the most. As I feel.

        Here, on the blog, I publish the versions that are closest to me and slightly different, so as not to be boring with the same. I like to exercise my own brain and the brains of other people 🙂

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Joa, my impression is that you are a deep thinker and ‘passionate’ person who loves to challenge herself and others sometimes as well. That comes across when you say “I could counter myself and use arguments.” There is a willingness to be open, but not to give up who you are, and an ability to cater to others as necessary.

          For myself, I ‘see’ you and enjoy hearing your thoughts which are never boring x You have a way with words and language is no barrier to how you express yourself. It depends how we like to have our brains exercised, but I quite enjoy having mine exercised in way that is poetic <3

          1. Joa says:

            LET, thank you very much for this opinion. It’s nice to read something like that about yourself 🙂
            I agree! Hahaha 🙂

            A friend once told me, that she has known me for over 20 years, and I still have dozens of experiences from my life to tell, which still surprise she. And she asked, how it was possible, when nothing was happening in her life and she has nothing to tell.

            I laughed and told her, that is enough to pump up and with sincere enthusiasm to tell any detail of life and you can kidnap the crowd with a story, ha ha ha 🙂

            Indeed, I can talk 5 minutes about having a worm approaching my shoe. What beautiful patterns and texture of the chitin armor it has; what hairy legs and how dignified it moves; what obstacles along the way that I do not even notice; that we stand here, and next to us, so many parallel lives and so many parallel worlds, birds, insects, plants, and each one is absorbed in its own affairs and life, all mixed up and intertwined, although we do not see it; that it is quiet, but if you listen well, the ears are pounding of insects and bird music, blah blah blah 🙂 I often have to put a block myself, so as not to impose myself and my shit on other people too much. Sometimes I wonder, why they like me? 🙂 I would be damned, if I had to deal with a human like me 🙂

            I must add, that you described me very closely. I will not reveal, but in these two paragraphs, you are very close to the two fields of study, that I finished 🙂

            In my profession, I had to remove literary and poetic importunity. “Good, but too literary” – these were the only reservations, when I started working.

            Here, I can write freely.

      2. Asp Emp says:

        LET, what a great comment 🙂

        “It is amazing how art can be interpreted and how we each can see something different”.

        I would like to add to that, that is also how HG’s work comes across to people who read his work. Different interpretations but we are looking at the same “picture”. 🙂

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          AspEmp, this is true, we will all take something different away from HG’s work, much as we peel away the layers of our lives and experiences to different degrees and at various paces while we are here, and benefit from that in different ways. Some things are open to interpretation – like HG’s articles where something said by the narcissist could seemingly be said by the empath and vice versa – and some things are not. HG is very clear in his instruction about what needs to happen when you are involved with the narcissist – Get Out, Stay Out. This understanding is not open to interpretation, but our circumstances and how we go about achieving that are very individual. Thankfully, HG makes room for the various nuances by providing a variety of avenues for support. Reading his articles allows us to gain understanding and insight. The blog allows us to ask questions within certain limits or parameters HG sets, and have them answered. Consultations allow for a deeper dive and one on one advice as necessary. All up, we have room to make our own interpretations and also options to have those corrected or confirmed.

          In reality, the only picture we have is of nicely tanned legs and tangerine shorts 😉 What those have been capable of achieving is amazing <3 xox

          1. Asp Emp says:

            LET, thank you for your response. I agree RE: the different perceptions / interpretations. Future ‘involvements’ with narcissists can be done but not easily avoidable ie at work (I have the Assistance Package for that, and it is absolutely brilliant – which I certainly will talk to my friends about – the ones I re-established contact with recently); when needing medical assistance ie doctors / dentists etc. It is completely different ie in social places ie cafes, pubs etc – that is where I certainly can apply the GOSO ‘principle’, if necessary, just make excuses and go to the toilets and escape through the window ;-). I’d attend social places with a friend (arrange to meet a friend), one that is aware of narcissism. KTN blog / The Ultra Channel are the only places where I ‘follow’ on HG’s work, I don’t use the other social media platforms for reading up on HG’s Legacy. Good to read your thoughts, thank you, LET 🙂

  2. Asp Emp says:

    LET, interesting comment. Your words “In some ways, he has taken the empath out of me and replaced it with a part of himself” – I hope that is not how it seems now? Having said that, your words make a lot of sense. I would suggest that it was a similar ‘feeling’ that I could sense within myself where that MRN was concerned. I suppose some of us empaths are like ‘sponges’, absorbing parts of their ‘darkness’, adding that to our own – what a burden to carry, eh? And a ‘burden’ to ‘unravel’. Theirs (the narcissist’s) before we could deal with ours. That is the ‘strengths’ of empaths who do manage to deal with it all after gaining the tools to be able to do so (thanks, HG 🙂 x).

    “I take some comfort in knowing that where my pain will pass”- I reached that stage but it ‘crept’ up on me so I will never know exactly when it happened. I recognised it, ‘faced’ it and dealt with it. Bliss.

    Interesting concept too, considering that a narcissist takes character traits from empaths.

    1. lickemtomorrow says:


      First off I have to say what a fascinating image, HG. I feel a great deal of thought has gone into this, like most of HG’s images, but this one is new to me and no doubt of significance. Is the beautiful ballerina representative of the ever hopeful and lithe empath, not seeing the finger of doom being directed at her? Why does she stand on a man holding his head in his hands? Who is the ‘finger of God’ pointing at and why? What is the significance of this hand also reflecting in the water, and the bridge seen in the distance behind? So many questions.

      I’m beginning to feel a little like Joe Rogan being dragged back to my past, but it is what it is 😉 It’s actually fun to reflect in some ways on my thought processes from some time ago, and this one is from the time I initially dipped my toe in the waters <3

      I like your description, AspEmp, of us somehow adding the narcissist's darkness to our own. Or at least in part to who we are as people. It's a little like the lack of trust we develop after our encounter with the narcissist. I would see this as an aspect of darkness. Where I was once trusting, now I have become untrusting or suspicious of others. So, the narcissist has added a negative to my usually open and outgoing nature. He, in his suspicion or lack of trust and due to his manipulations, has now become a part of me. I can't rid myself of the dark insight he has given me and how that impacts on my view of the world. It is a burden to carry and to offload, and one that belongs to him, not me. Maybe knowing or understanding that gives me the ability to overcome it.

      Is suspicion, lack of trust a character trait? That's what I'm basing my understanding on in terms of what I have just described – i.e. the narcissist has passed these things on to me. Are we exchanging character traits with the narcissist – e.g. I exchange trust for a lack of trust, etc. He gains my trust making him look trustworthy, I gain his sense of suspicion making me look unhinged … hmmm. Lots of food for thought here!

      Ah, AspEmp, 'unraveling' is the word of the day for me today xox

      1. Asp Emp says:

        LET, thank you for your response. Interesting to read your perceptions of the image on this article. I’ll share my perceptions, the ballerina is a weaponised empath (;-)) ‘dancing’ (in a tra-la-la way) on the mind of a narcissist, at their ‘demise’ at the failed hoovers 😉 The ‘hand of God’ is HG’s ‘direction’ to the empath to remember his education / work and apply it appropriately.

        Trust is a big ‘word’. We learn to understand our own ‘meaning’ of the word through our personal experiences. Our ‘naivety’ is a ‘weakness’ unless we weaponise ourselves and bear that in mind in our futures (wisdom from knowledge). Ok, at present, you may not be able to ‘rid’ yourself of the dark ‘insights’ but you can use the methodology of ie learning to ride a bicycle despite falling off it many times and then one day you stop falling off it and are in control of the bicycle. In time, you will ‘look’ at it differently, and, therefore feel differently about it. The main thing is that you are aware of it (which is really constructive & positive) and so, can ‘process’ it in your own time at your own pace.

        Suspicion, I think is something everyone has and it is ‘invoked’ by a person or an object. I would suggest it is / can be directly / indirectly ‘interlinked’ – sometimes it is not. I think you understand it quite well – the lack of trust ‘linked’ to suspicion.

        “Exchanging’ character traits with the narcissist” (good way of describing it), that, is something we do through our instincts – referring to my comment on ‘What Fuel Feels Like To The Narcissist’. Maybe when the ‘exchanging’ of character traits ‘takes place’, it would not necessarily be ‘like for like’ from our perception yet it may appear like it is but from two ‘directions’ of the prism (ours and theirs)? Having said that, it may not be a narcissist, it could be someone with a neurodiversity different to yours – I think that is one thing HG’s work / blog has ‘taught’ us (ie human psyche).

        Now, now, now, you are not “unhinged”. You never were. That is through the lens of the narcissist (and maybe from the perception of those who are not aware of narcissism), not yours.

        Unravelling = deconstruction of the ‘false’ perception of yourself and re-configuring yourself to the point where you can ‘stand’ outside that “box” at looking at it laterally without emotional thoughts getting in the ‘way’. As if you are ‘projecting’ aspects of your past onto a table in front of you with labelled boxes (compartmentalising).

        Good to read your thoughts / understandings, LET. Thank you 🙂

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Ooohh, I love your interpretation, AspEmp <3 That's certainly the way I would like to see it 🙂 My original impression was a more ominous one of the empath being warned and being too preoccupied with her own dreamy notions to realize she is standing on the top, or head, of a volcano waiting to explode. She blithely goes her way without realizing what she is being warned about and by whom. The water is a reflection, or mirror, of the warning. Perhaps the bridge is a means of escape xox

          Thanks for you thoughts on trust. It's the bugbear of many of those impacted by the narcissist – how will I ever trust again? I like your analogy of learning to ride a bike. The only difference is we once had trust, so in that sense it is a relearning process. We have now been primed to read or see the signs of danger and so we can more adequately place our trust where it is deserved, and maybe only when it is earned. The darkness, or 'exchange', has served a purpose, but it is not one we want to invite again.

          I read your previous comment (you've Joe Rogan'd yourself 😛 ) and I see you apply a very scientific approach to your thoughts which is not something I normally do. Haha! Therein lies the difference in so many ways, in terms of thoughts, perspectives and interpretations. In that sense, point made. We are not all cut from the same cloth. Narcissists are cut from a very different cloth, one which impedes them in so many ways and yet also makes them stand out from the crowd. I think having a neurodiversity can give you, or create, a perspective which allows you to identify more with what that might also entail for the narcissist. I hope I'm presenting this in a way that makes sense and agrees with what you are saying, or said previously. We can bring it down to atoms and evolution, base it on experience (e.g. LOCE) and know that to a certain extent these thing are out of our hands. We diverge on our paths and gain different perspectives. That's what makes the sharing so worthwhile. We add dimensions and some are more easily understood than others. We identify and we also dismiss. There are so many different angles to appreciating who we are and how we came to be that way, also who others are and their journeys. I include a spiritual dimension in my musings which adds the concepts of darkness and light. There is something that goes beyond atoms and evolution for me. At the same time it's important to be careful how that is applied.

          You might now want to revisit the thought I'm not unhinged 😛 I thank you for the thought and though we may appear to be unhinged at times it's only because the narcissist got the upper hand and we have yet to get it back. I appreciate the thought that a lot of this isn't apparent to others who have no awareness of narcissism. It's what makes the suffering even worse.

          Yes, leaving emotion aside and being more methodical in looking at things as we spread them out before us is a good way to think about it. Easier said than done, but here we have the opportunity to apply cold, hard logic for the purposes of regaining what we have lost <3 xox

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Hello LET 🙂

            That is the consideration about art / images and what artists sometimes ‘aim’ to do – to encourage different thoughts / emotional responses from various people. It is good and interesting to read your further perceptions on it.

            RE: trust, you’re welcome. I felt / thought similar RE: how can I trust again? I would suggest it is more about how you feel / think about yourself as a person and how you ‘process’ your experiences (past / present) and use those as part of future “adjustments” through what you learn today.

            Thank you for the compliment RE: my scientific ‘approach’ (thanks, dad :-)). It is also the lateral analytical in me 🙂 I agree with what you say in relation to the neurodiversity differences that may have similarities to those with narcissism. I would suggest it is that and my inner ‘light’ that attracts narcissists instinctively, even if they do not know why, or what. I do 😉

            I understand what you mean RE: spiritually. People may not necessarily agree / share the same ‘views’ in regard to divinity / the spiritual. I do, to a degree. It is more to do with my intuition rather than cognitively aware, which, in my view, is beyond basic instincts. I don’t ‘practise’ in it if you can understand ie obsessively, but I ‘sense’ it and may think “hmmm”. I can ‘sense’ ie my friend in London, as I have done, minutes before a text would arrive from her. I also ‘sensed’ intuitively ie going to a shop. I ‘felt’ that Lesser before I saw him. A number of times, my intuition ‘guides’ me without my knowing why, it serves me well most of the time.

            No. You are not unhinged. And, no, I am not going to ‘revisit’ that either 🙂 We can still appear “unhinged” in a positive way 😉 (LOL).

            It is easier said that done RE: removing the emotion from the ‘equation’ when and if it is appropriate. It makes you stronger mentally / emotionally and you get to choose (sometimes) how to ‘respond / react’ in future interactions with other people (not including the narcissists of the past – they should be out of the ‘equation’). You can only become a better ‘version’ of yourself as you progress throughout the rest of your life. 🙂 xx

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            AspEmp, interesting and inspiring as always <3

            Yes, 'intuition' would be another take on the spiritual side of things. I remember the story you told about your grandmother and her passing. These are the things that create wonder and curiosity in me.

            I agree we now have a choice, rather than a 'locked in' set of responses that are more knee jerk. It's hugely beneficial to know that.

            It's always interesting what people take out of art or how they interpret it. Does the artist always know what he/she intends? In HG's case I think the decisions around his artwork are very specific and also clues for the cluehunters. Not my area of expertise in general. I like to look at them rather than dissect them normally xox

          3. Asp Emp says:

            LET, I’d agree that HG chooses the artwork / asks his designers to produce what he has in mind as appropriate to the article / video. Also his decisions regarding clue-hunters to look for clues, using their perceptions. Thank you for conversing on this, good to read your words 🙂

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