Hounded By Love
One of my ex girlfriends, Kate, was a big animal lover. She was always sponsoring some rare monkey in Africa or baking cakes to raise funds to save the gay whale or such like. People often remarked how fortunate I was to have someone so caring. I would tell them if she spent less time playing Dr Doolittle then maybe I would not have to sleep in the spare room so often to remind her of who she should be focused on. I remember this used to get me some puzzled looks and for an instant I could not understand why but then I worked out they thought I was being mean so I used to tell them the bed was always full of her dogs so there was no room for me. They would smile and nod. Too easy. You see, people will, most of the time, take the path of least resistance and this means that they will accept most explanations so long as there is some degree of plausibility about them. People need to find a reason and especially those of an empathic nature have to do so. Provide a reason to explain something away and people accept it. This is one of the main reasons why we are able to do as we do, because people either accept the explanations that we give for what is otherwise aberrant behaviour or they find a reason or explanation themselves (either blaming some third party event or influence or blaming themselves) rather than seeing the behaviour for what it is. I do not write this from a position of blaming people for thinking and behaving that way, it is understandable. They do not know what they are dealing with, they do not realise the person they are engaging with is a narcissist and they, as truth seekers, need to find a reason to explain the behaviour. They need to know and this invariably causes them to fall for what we tell them or what they tell themselves.
Anyway, she got involved in volunteering at an animal shelter which did not impress me and to add insult to injury she expected me to walk and feed her dog whilst she was out being St Francis of Assissi. I kid you not. So on the two evenings when she was helping out I would invite her sister Amanda over. She would feed the dog and I would pretend I had taken it for a walk. (So long as I let it out in the garden and did its business (which I would fling over into next door – I guess that’s why we have new neighbours) Kate thought the hound had been walked. Thus I was able to lure in Amanda. She was low hanging fruit. Ignored by her boyfriend it only took a couple of weeks of texts and declarations of compatibility and I was bedding her each time she came round. Kate would come home and spend most of her time petting her dog but I had someone else to distract me so I let that flagrant failure to give me attention slide a little. Not totally as I still used it to remind her of how neglectful she was of me. I did notice though that she was spending more time and more money on the hound and was obviously doing it to provoke me. Her sister Amanda then started to change. She was initially great fun, vibrant, passionate and interesting but then she got whiny and needy and had the audacity to start criticise my girlfriend Kate. That was not on. She would still call round twice a week, even when I stopped inviting her and I had grown tired of bedding her. I had decided that Kate was the better choice of the two and wanted to focus my attentions on her but she doted on that wretched dog.
Demonstrating the decisive decision making that is my hallmark I took prompt action. On an evening when Amanda had called over I agreed to sleep with her. Before doing so I let pooch out into the garden and opened the gate. I went through the motions with Amanda and then had just returned downstairs when Kate returned. A few moments passed and then she began to call for the dog and with increasing urgency. The hound had gone. I blamed Amanda. Cue sibling fall out. The upshot of it was Kate never spoke to her sister again. Amanda never called round and pestered me and the dog was gone.
Two birds and all that.
13 thoughts on “Hounded By Love”
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There is a famous story by an American science fiction writer, Ursula Le Guin, The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas. It’s about a utopian city where everyone is happy, but their happiness depends on keeping one child miserable and alone. Most in Omelas accept the child’s misery as the price that they must pay for their happiness. Sometimes when I am on this site, I think we are in Omelas.
I understand that sentiment.
RE: the ‘lobbing’ of dog poop over the fence to next door (laughing)…….shit! I did not even do that despite their fu*king cat shitting on my lawn; climbing onto my roof, dislodging a number of roof tiles in the process (I had to pay for someone to come and replace the tiles, securing them too); climbing onto wherever it was fu*king going – but – it was in MY garden, my property, my ownership. Not some fu*king damned cat that I had absolutely NO involvement with. Fooking thing even came INTO my house, bold as brass. FFS. Cue, one ape-shit hybrid-narc-empath-cross and a dog that was too shocked to bark to seeing a real cat inside my house…….
Ah, it does not say in your article as to where the garden gate opens out into – it could be a field, it could be a small country lane, not a busy road where there are thousands of cars driving at 1,000 miles an hour (at warp-speed)……
Oh, yes, the dog (as mentioned in your article) was eventually found……
I’ll end on this note, I came across your article ‘Wounded Creature’ and have left a comment on that too….. 🙂
I see all 3 adults in this story as equally bad. The only true victims were the neighbor and dog．I guess they both wisely escaped and went “no contact”! I hope the dog found a better place to live.
Kate reminds me of the person that has a child but leaves the child with a baby sitter so she can go help other people’s children. What was the point in having a child or in her case a pet? And what is the point in having a boyfriend if you are going to devote more of yourself to animals? You may be a high maintenance man but you were clearly feeling neglected and she didn’t seem to care. And it is also wrong to get a pet and ask someone else to walk and feed it. It doesn’t sound like you two got the pet together as a couple. It was her pet and she imputed her responsibilities on you. That is wrong especially if she sensed that you didn’t like the job. Women tend to be intuitive and can pick up on these vibes.
Then what man sleeps with his girlfriend’s sister and vice versa!!! That is majorly messed up! And who throws poop in their neighbor’s yard!
And what sisters never talk again over supposedly one sister accidentally leaving the gate open? And what sister would just throw away a sisterhood by not trying to clear this up?
If this is a true story, then all three of you were acting severely toxic and dysfunctional.
Stay away little hound!
HG, man, you and your many identities are all equally petty and nasty. Sigh.
Whooooo let the dogs out?
This is horrible. Really horrible. It’s the first time I’ve read it, things involving animals are too hard sometimes. Same with cheating. Those poor women. Thank you for showing us your devious, evil side HG. It is a good reminder.
Hi A Victor
I’m the same way with animals in particular i find it hard to fathom how anyone could harm an animal. Letting an animal loose to get hit by a car or be lost is so awful. I feel guilty saying that because HG helps so many. It is evil tho, but that’s the npd lack of empathy. It ‘s so easy to forget the npd part when they show their good mask. I STILL struggle with this! Definitely a good reminder!
I know, it is easy to get sucked in by the “good” side, not with those I’ve been close to in my real life, I can’t not see the bad there, but the more removed ones and certainly HG at times, ready to forget the negative side.
No, not ready, easy**. Autocorrect. 😤
Indeed, I cannot hear or read stories about cruelty against animals. Animals are innocent and I love animals. I can take cruelty against people much better, because some people are just shit! 💩👎