Love Bombing : If the Narcissist Was Honest


What if the unaware narcissist was made aware so they shared with you how they regarded you and their behaviour prior to the commencement of their love bombing of you? What if the aware narcissist decided they would share their thoughts and motivations about you, no longer seeing doing so as a transference of power? If they did, this would be the result.

Dear Victim,

There you sit. Soaked in innocence, drenched in unawareness, drowning in vulnerability. You are an empath. I can detect that. From the things that you say, the things that you do, the way you move, the way you interact with others, the manner of your gestures, the look in your eyes and the facial expressions that you make, you radiate as only the empath does. Great bubbles of honesty form on the surface of you and float upwards, arcing jets of the need for justice spray from you and decency shimmers about you like some ethereal cloak. I watch as the ripples of your caring nature sweep back and forth across you, beautiful display of what you are. The coils of your compassion emerge onto you and spiral upwards enveloping the fortunate recipient that you direct them towards. Your desire to heal and fix shines from you as if a magnificent light, sweeping around the world from you the lighthouse, banishing darkness and providing succour and support to those this ray of repair lands on. I see it all. These empathic traits and more besides are part of the empathic ecosystem and I am the predator that waits within this ecosystem, ready to take advantage of it.

I see the narcissistic traits too. The bubbling anger that resides beneath your cloak of decency, that cloak keeping your anger in check until it is permitted to make an appearance through the application of righteous annoyance. I sense the showcasing that you have, a glittering desire to be seen, but since it sits beneath your caring nature, it is only ever seen in its fair and entertaining application, never show stealing or vainglorious.

Your jealousy lurks, but trapped within those bubbles of honesty, save when one of those bubbles is pricked by an external force usually me and my abuse, albeit we are some distance away from that at this juncture.

No, this is that moment right before I commence my seduction of you. I say seduction as that sounds romantic but in reality, it is an invasion. You see, you are a nation state which has the resources which I need. My reconnaissance is at an early stage and I do not yet know whether you will become my Intimate Partner Primary Source (other half, wife, spouse, girlfriend ) or whether you will be an IPSS, either one which I will pick up and put down as and when I see fit and allow some access into my world, or one which I will keep tucked away in the shadows, there when I need a fresh injection of the fuel that I must have. What I do know is that you already belong to me. The moment I saw you meant that your fate was sealed, you became my property, all I must do now is invade you.

Will I spare you this invasion? No. I do not care at all for you. I have no emotional empathy whatsoever and therefore I will take what I need with no regard at all for the consequences for you. Will I invade you slowly and steadily, perhaps giving you a chance to work out whether this is right for you? No. This is an invasion. I must achieve your submission as fast as I can. You see, I cannot cope unless you are under my control and the possibility that you might threaten my control over you starts to weaken me, make me feel insignificant and powerless and that must never, ever happen. This means I have to achieve control over you so I can access your resources – your fuel, your character traits and your residual benefits – as quickly as possible.

Now, most invasions are a brutal display of force, battering the enemy into submission, destroying the opposition´s defences, shattering their infrastructure, terrifying their populaces and annihilating their armed forces with an impressive arsenal of destructive weapons. This invasion will be brutal in its speed, you will be battered into submission, I will overwhelm your defences, I will disable your support systems, I will occupy every inch of you, I will monopolise your time, I will isolate you from any interfering influences, I will harness your assets and make them mine to ensure that you are subjugated. I will not do this with terror however, I shall do so with love.

Well, I say love, truth be told, I have no idea how to love you. I have no emotional empathy remember which means that I am utterly unable to love you in the way that is best for you. Instead, what I am going to do is give you what I understand love to be (but actually isn´t) and thanks to my predecessor narcissists you have been conned into misunderstanding what love is. You see, love is actually premised on emotional empathy, that means respecting one another, having things in common, embracing the differences, being patient and supportive, taking time to know one another, to accept who you are and to be accepted for who one is, to share and to care, to listen and listen properly. This emotional empathy means recognising boundaries, it means never manipulating or abusing, it means working together and standing shoulder to shoulder when the world and it is a tough old world, throws what it does at you. It means not shirking responsibility, it means standing up and being counted, it means jealousy and envy are kept in check, there is fidelity and passion for one another. It is all in the doing and not the saying.

The problem with all of that is that I am not designed to do any of it, but I am designed to give you the impression that I am capable of doing it.

My invasion has three parts to it:-

  1. I will use the narcissistic narrative to dazzle you,
  2. I will use my powers of mimicry to make you think I have emotional empathy , and
  3. I will mirror yourself back at you.

All are based on fabrication – the fabrication of what love is, the fabrication of emotional empathy and the fabrication of what you think I am.

The first part is that my predecessor narcissists have become the architects of the ideal of love. All of that which I just described about how love is based on emotional empathy, well they effectively threw all of that out of the window because it is too slow, boring and will not lead to your swift submission. Accordingly, actually loving you through emotional empathy would be too slow and not give me the control I must desperately have over you. Instead, what allows you to be conquered within the blink of an eye is fabrication. I will flatter you, compliment you, adore you, admire you, swamp you with my infatuation. I will idealise you and put you on the highest pedestal. I will treasure you, covet you, showcase you, polish you up and present you. Notice what this all signifies, yes, you are an object to me, my object. You will not realise this though because I will drape you with the narcissistic narrative so you think what I am giving you is the most perfect, incredible love but it is not. It is an illusion. It is fakery.

I am going to become the romantic poets all rolled into one, I will be a stormtrooper of seduction, blitzkrieg you into submission through the application of the most amazing sex you have experienced, I will buy you gifts, I will introduce you to all my friends and family, I will propose marriage to you within weeks of meeting you, I will move into your house within a week of meeting you because “this feels so right”, I will tell you how scintillating you are compared to that horrible person I was with previously, I will tell you that nobody compares to you, that you are simply the best, that I don´t want to miss a thing, that love comes quickly, that all you need is love – do you see how my predecessors have already done the hard work? They are the song writers, the artists, the poets, the authors, the entertainers and the writers of Hallmark cards. My narcissist brethren have created a tapestry of what romantic love is and it is false. That is not love but you have become conditioned by film, book, poem and song to believe that it is and all I am going to do is wrap you in all of those things and make you feel like the only girl in the world. It will be breath taking, amazing, mind-blowing and dizzying. Your heart will race, your spirits will soar, you will have a spring in your step and a smile plastered on your face for weeks and months on end. All of this is called a golden period.

This golden period is given to you so I can invade you and occupy you in the shortest time possible and with maximum effect. Inside this golden period. I will also use the artifice of creating the impression that I also love you with emotional empathy. Alongside the fireworks, glitter and rainbows, I will give you glimpses of kindness and support. This is the second part of the invasion. This means my invasion is guaranteed to succeed. After I have used the narcissistic idea of love to dazzle you into submission and the second is to layer on that, the appearance of having emotional empathy. I am an expert at fakery. I have been designed so I can mimic what truly empathic people do, but I only do this for a short time, intermittently when I absolutely have to and of course entirely to make you mine. I will bring you chicken soup when you feel unwell, I will do the laundry, I will take the dog for a walk, I will tidy up, I will cook for you, I will listen to you talk about how difficult your boss is and offer suggestions as to how you deal with it. I actually do not give a flying fuck about any of those things, but I have to do them, so you think that I am that type of person. I need to give you the fireworks, so you think I am special and the fake empathy, so you think I am supportive and reliable.

Within all of this is the third part, the mirroring. You see, I actually do not exist, well I do, but that part of me is locked away and must never be seen. What I mean, is what you see, and experience does not exist, it is a shapeshifting fabrication which takes on whatever form is needed to conquer you. Sexual Olympian? No problem. Bon viveur? Absolutely. Pillar of the community? Easily done. Captain Success? Already to be deployed. Dr Caring? At your service madam. Loving father? Kind companion? Hilarious entertainer? Sports mad? Fashion conscious? Brain the size of Canada? Literary genius? Comicon enthusiast? Friends binge watcher? Dirty Dancing worshipper? Religious acolyte? Dedicated to the literary works of great American writers? Fly fisherman? Equestrian? Ten pin bowler? Check, check and check. I will become whatever is needed to win you over.


Everything about you will be mirrored back at you, the way you smile, the way you love, the things you like, and the things oyu dislike. What I show you is not me, good God no, what I show you is yourself. In the most brilliant of perversions, I make you fall in love with yourself. How narcissistic is that?!


So, none of it is genuine but you do not have to worry about that now because the best part is, you will not even notice. I am so good at this because I am designed to be this way and you are designed not to notice (thank you emotional thinking). Settle in and enjoy this golden period because it will be unlike anything you have ever experienced before. It is absolutely incredible, and you may as well enjoy it because it will be removed. Yes, I only need to give you the golden period to conquer you and to extract your resources and after that, well I will take it away and then the full horror is visited on you, but we do not need to go into that now. What you must do is enjoy this and I guarantee you will, it is beyond the highest high, this is more potent and more addictive than heroin.

So, there you sit, my crosshairs trained on you, the target on your heart all lit up and easy to see to one such as I. It is time to commence the seduction, time to love bomb you. Time to make you mine with the application of falsification, fakery and fabrication on an unprecedented scale.


Do I feel bad about this? Of course not. I simply do not care, but I will make it look like I do.


I am like the predator that has learned to mimic the firefly. I will flash and signal so you think I am ready to mate with and when you come flying to me, all eager and enraptured, I will ensnare you and later devour you as you offer no resistance, confused and dumbstruck as to how you fell for this.


It is all a big con. I am the love fraud and you are my victim.

13 thoughts on “Love Bombing : If the Narcissist Was Honest

  1. leelasfuelstinks says:

    Oh it felt so good back then! With my completely shattered self-esteem, never being unconditionally loved by my parents, I thought: Finally I have found somebody who really loves me the way I am. We had “so much in common”, he “understood” me perfectly, he “understood” every thought and feeling, I was going through, it was like looking in a mirror and seeing myself. Guess what: It was an Upper Lesser A Somatic! 🤪 I was an emergency pick. After about 8 months it became a living nightmare! Hell on earth! The lash-outs, the guilt trapping, the blame shifting, the projections, the triangulations with the ex wife, the substance abuse. After about 1 year of sustained devaluation I checked out! Sorry Sir, I´m out of here for good! A couple of years later he passed away. His son grew up to a handsome young man. I hope he didn´t pass on the NPD on to him.

  2. foxkrystalle66 says:

    HG: Love Bombing: if the Narcissist was Honest:

    My life was once nothing more than a complicated irregular network of passages or paths; a labyrinth of rules and regulations laboured under the guise of universal disapproval.

    But… that has all changed since coming into contact with the teachings of HG Tudor knowing the Narcissist channel in 2021…

    Narcissists..I have come to know… the dark triad personality as if it be my own.
    Empath: Radiating light; a natural electromagnetic wavelength so bright…
    The Narcissist can see this light. Her Light…
    His hunger intense…..consumes His senses…

    He sees this light; Her light is seen as a flame, a spark in the distance serving to ignite his passion to find her and to have her….Devour Her….
    To control dominate her into compliance..

    As a Contagion Empath I know that experience, very well to be exact and, for the most part unashamed to own it. I know these types are not good for me.

    But…having said that I know addiction…

    Narcissists are my fuel, not to fix or change; of course not, instead it is the adrenaline high I receive being involved with these types….only to find time and time again the crash afterwards is beyond anything you want to go through.

    The Empath is honest and I admit being involved with a Narcissist as his IPPS for the first 6weeks is beyond the highest high….I admit it it’s beyond chemical, this is more potent and more addictive than any drug possible.
    I used to think I’m addicted to Love..
    Now I know differently.
    That type of love is NOT love..It’s a sickness….

    HG another excellent written piece of work done by you. The craft of writing ,grammar and composition such as yours captures every detail of truth, dark truth of being enamoured with one of your kind.

    It sent shivers down my spine. Each word brought up memories thought forgotten. I remember when..

    HG …..thank-you..
    That article is placed in my library to always have at my finger tips need be 4 a later date.. Never forget the lines, the charm, the horror of fury and of course the pain of love bombing…

    Excellent comprehensive and thorough writing giving readers an in-depth analysis of the Narcissist mind’s approach to love and what it means to Him…

    Love ya Darlin…… Krystalle

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  3. Savoy Truffle says:

    If you want a lover
    I’ll do anything you ask me to
    And if you want another kind of love
    I’ll wear a mask for you
    If you want a partner
    Take my hand
    Or if you want to strike me down in anger
    Here I stand
    I’m your man

    Leonard Cohen – “I’m Your Man”

    One of the songs my ex liked to quote,

    1. In so many words says:

      Made a note to put Leonard Cohen on my next “Know the Narcissist” list.

  4. In so many words says:

    If any other narcissist was honest, he wouldn’t be this eloquent. I wrote an email to friend to say that the best definition of love I have seen was written by a narcissistic psychopath who cannot love, and sent the quote from this essay (with attribution and a link, of course). HG, if you understand it so well, I can imagine how well you imitate it. I am glad to know you through your work, and equally glad not to know you in life.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for the compliment.

    2. A Victor says:

      Hi ISMW, I had the same reaction to HG’s definition of love. Since then it has caused me to really reject the idea of “love” in the music, movies, writing etc that narcissists want us to accept. The definition that HG gives us one of peace, contentedness, togetherness etc, all the things that I’ve wanted but didn’t know were actually possible until hearing his definition. And maybe I didn’t even realize it was what I wanted until hearing it. It made sense, it was a relief, it was a wonderment. I still don’t know if it’s a reality very often but at least I know what the goal is now. And will settle for nothing less.

      1. In so many words says:

        A Victor, its a worthy goal. We can’t live up to that standard all the time; life can be quite stressful. But 80% of the time is realistic, with an honest apology and working on doing better the rest of the time. And as more empaths are weaponized and get together with each other, more of us will have real love and acceptance in our lives, and our children will be raised in a loving environment

  5. Patricia Nick says:

    A brilliant exposé, HG, that makes it crystal clear..

    I suppose, if I’m honest (and obviously, I am!), there might be a very tiny part of me that’s slightly disappointed that I’ve never experienced this apparent adoration and golden period. Actually, of course, having read your work and understood what it’s all about and the malice and emptiness that lies within, I’m mightily relieved that I’ve never attracted the attentions of a narcissist (or psychopath) who would do this sort of thing.

  6. Lucycita says:

    It’s good to have emotional empathy but even if you don’t have it you can still operate with this open concept called love. Like all animals in this world we share instincts. So even if you don’t know what love is and how to act on it, relax, and at least let your instincts guide you. If you let your instincts guide you that is probably purer and less flamboyant than empathy itself.

  7. Wendy says:

    Excellent HG! 👏👏 The way you describe what the narcissist does to their victim is undeniable and so well explained. I think of your new audience members and how they must feel when they first read your work. The lightbulb starts flickering and the more they read the brighter the light becomes until it is glaring! The understanding comes in like a blinding light. They finally know what they are dealing with!

    It was that moment when I realized from reading more and more of your work that the puzzle pieces that I had been gathering finally started to fit. Then I knew exactly what he was! The rest is history and the memories of him are getting farther away from me each day thanks to your work! I am happy to say that I do not think about him everyday anymore. I didn’t even realize that until reading this tonight. His ever presence isn’t as present as it was! I go days without a single thought of him.

    Thank you! 😊

    Grateful for you, all of your work, and this blog!!


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