The Darkness



Do you feel the darkness as it coils about you? Do you see those midnight black tendrils as they slither towards you? Do you recognise that encroaching cloak of nothingness as it begins to wrap around you? Do you see how the inky murk blots out parts of your life as your friends become obscured by the gathering darkness? Have you any idea what is waiting for you in the shade as the pools of despair begin to form at your feet? Can you feel the icy embrace as the levels of gloom start to rise, swallowing you up bit by bit? Are you aware of the advancing chasm as it swallows up your family, wrenching them away from you consigning them to oblivion?

The engulfing darkness causes them to vanish and even their desperate cries and shouts become muffled and then extinguished. Do you remember what held your interest before this fog arrived? Can you recall those hobbies and past times that entertained you and gave you a sense of who you were as you enjoyed engaging in them and with other people? Can you or is the fog too thick so that you doubt if you ever did undertake them at all? Have you noticed how the air has become thicker and cloyed with poison or do you breathe it in oblivious to the toxicity that comes with it? Are you aware how the twilight has percolated into your ears so that everything you hear has become twisted and distorted? Do you recognise what is patently before you or do the shadowy shapes and figures make little sense when they once did?

Have you realised that your words have become dust in your mouth as the fur of the darkness fills your mouth and slides down your throat, strangling the sounds you try to make? Do you feel the icy embrace of this impenetrable wall of darkness which advances to you and over you? Do you recognise this glacier of despair as it slides over you, subsuming you and sucking you deep inside, preserving you in a dark, icy tomb? Do you even see your reflection in the mirror anymore or has that become masked in darkness too, the glass dulled so that everything becomes obscured and shows something else entirely?

Do you see those shades which come and torment you, their sinewy fingers pulling at you as they strip you piece by piece of what you are? Do you observe these wraiths as they devour you, sucking what you are into their dark maws? How does it feel as this corrupting night brings permanent darkness to your world? Do you see how nothing grows anymore when touched by the gloomy taint? Do you smell that foul stench which accompanies this unending blanket of murk?

The acrid fumes which waft into your nostrils and eradicate anything sweet and pleasant. Do you notice how your tongue lies flat and useless in your mouth, little more than a cold slab? Do you even acknowledge how everything tastes like ash? Do you feel the leaden weight of this darkness pulling at you, slowing you and seeking to engulf you? Do you recognise how it prevents you from breaking free, this glue-like morass which has fastened on to you and will not yield?

Do you notice the fatigue that now wraps around you, leeching at your energy and vitality? Do you hear anything other than the whispers of malevolent control that rattle about your beleaguered brain? Do you know who you are or has this vast amorphous darkness eradicated your sense of being?

Do you remember what it was to feel uplifted, joyous and happy or have you become accustomed to the flat, perilous embrace of this total darkness?

Do you even feel anything anymore other or has the cosseting black cloud anaesthetised you, numbing and freezing?

Do you feel the darkness? No, you never do.

You never see the darkness until you have seen the light.


70 thoughts on “The Darkness

  1. Gypsy Heart says:

    Good news. Has everyone seen they have reached bipartisan agreement in the senate and we may have new gun control law by July 4th? Looks like they may also be closing the boyfriend loophole which is good news for me too. The man I have a restraining order was never convicted for his wife’s death, but he sent a girlfriend to the hospital and spent 5 yrs in prison for that. He would be eligible to own firearms 5 yrs. after serving his time, but closing this loophole means he wil NEVER be able to own a gun. I know for a fact he has access. There were firarms where he was staying during parole, which was of course a violation of parole. But at least if he ever gets caught with them he will go back to prison.

  2. Anna says:

    oh wow, how did this turn into a discussion about the gun law in the US?

    You want my opinion about that? OK

    Bullying is rife in the US. It is really bad. I had a girl at school who was from the US, she thought she was a Goddess and well, it didn’t go down well…..I myself am British….

    13 reasons why on Netflix, shows everything wrong with society…especially the US, It is on Netflix. Watch it.
    People blame guns. No, the problem is people! People are awful, horrible, terrible. There are some nice people but they are indeed rare. When a society becomes fixated on how people look, decadence… opulence. May I say more?

    The darkness has indeed invaded.

    This amazing video by a brilliant singer called Brooke Candy pretty much sums it up. That is of course, if videos are allowed on this blog!

    The video has viewers discretion of course, but she is making a point!

    1. Gypsy Heart says:


      What a coincidence. I just added 13 reasons why to my queue the other day. I had heard The Night We Met by Lord Huron and it reminded me that I had never finished watching all the seasons and it felt much like what I have been going through.

      I was in a large group of toxic people that were longterm “friends” (decades). I had stood up to the whole group, but remained. They would all plot and plan and knowingly gaslight me together. There were times when they didn’t know I was listening, and would eavesdrop on them. I heard one of the couple’s adult son say to them “be careful, this one is smart”. They completely underestimated me. I played their game for a while and without saying anything to them I just walked away with no explanation or goodbye. They wanted my head on a silver platter and continued to “try” to terrorize me. At one point their adult son came to me and he seemed scared and concerned. He told me to move and not let anyone know where I was, especially his father and stepmother.

      My husband and I had separated and he was still living in our home. After several months he told me he didn’t want the responsibility of a small farm, moved out and said I could have it. They would have people I didn’t even know follow me around in their vehicles and even try to run me off the road at high speeds on the bypass. They shot a horse in my back pasteur, would come around my house at night “trying” to scare me. Would be in my house when I was at work and gaslight me by setting things up in my house to let me know they had been there.

      I gaslighted them back at work and in my home. One day before I went to work I gaslighted them by “staging” my coffee table. I set it up like I had been cleaning my guns the night before, I left a rifle scope laying out. Then I left a note that I had plenty of evidence against them and told them to smile for the cameras. I also left them a pleasant little note that if it continued this evidence will go to law enforcement so it was time to put an end to the drama. I also included a list of names that I would provide for FBI agents to peruse. I even included this couples matrinarc/mastermind to the list. I think after that matrinarc decided she was more interested in spending time in her tropical island condos and traveling Europe. My home became my private oasis again and they kept their distance but got me fired from my job saying “I was the one that was dangerous “.

      I even went into the lions den of friends to these people;acquaintances to me from work. They were more than happy to accommodate me; to keep an eye on me and gather intelligence. These people were dangerous; the criminal element that I was sure were behind the more sadist elements of the malign campaign against me. I should have been scared, but I needed to know.

      Eventually I decided to move states and my ex-husband and I sold our house. I had joined Facebook for the first time and reconnected with people I went to highschool with.I had never had a debit card or used a self checkout. My husband controlled all of our finances and made sure I was kept in the dark as far as technology was concerned. I even learned that he kept track of my browsing history and my online fingerprint, which was quite easy to keep track of. My only app was pintrest and I was only interested on creating my own boards and not following anyone. I was completely oblivious to anything else; quite naive just as he endeavored to keep me. His mission in life was my innocence and niativity to control me and use me as part of his facade.

      My daughter had a trust fund that my mother had set up and there was no poa connected with this so we had to wait until she was 16 to access it. My husband and I had ended our relationship before this. I found out that he was trying to get his hands on it but the bank would not allow it. We then moved the account to my bank where my daughter had access to it, but large amounts had to be cosigned by me. Her dad was then able to pull a large amount out even though he had no legal right to do so. That could have been a lawsuit there but I let it go. He then helped her purchase a car with absolutely no input or awareness from me and could not understand ” why that was wrong”. He also had his name added to the title even though the inheritance came from my mother.

      My roommate in my new state was someone I went to highschool with. She had divorced her husband around the same time my marriage had ended and convinced me to move states for a fresh start and we could help each other with expenses. She assured me that I could bring along my mastiff. My dog and my daughter were the only ones that I would allow myself to love and trust at that point. From the day that I moved in she acted as if she hated me. I had given up my dog because she wasn’t accustomed to apartment living and my roomate said she was a danger to the children living in the area. The neighbor told me she had already been saying she couldn’t wait for my dog to go on the first night I moved in. My neighbor stood up for me and my roomate hated her for it.

      It was only six months in that I reconnected with a man that I knew in highschool. He knew I was homesick and convinced me that he would be a much better roommate than she was. Besides you need to be closer to your daughter. So I moved states again, only to find out that I had started conversing with him through messenger only weeks after he got out of prison. I moved to a small town with him as a roommate. When I began working in a factory I started hearing stories from coworkers. That man killed my neice. Even the cops knew he did it but there wasn’t enough evidence. That man went to prison because he put his girlfriend in the hospital. That man beat his own son up in front of the middle school. “OMG, I never thought I would hear that name again!!!!! He confessed to my deceased father that he did kill his wife. My supervisor even hired him after I told him I was scared of this man and he would be trying to get a job here. I have a restraining order against him , and he no longer works at my place of employment. He continues to stalk me.

      I befriended a man at work and he moved into the apartment next to me. No romantic involvement or sex at all. I felt sorry for him struggling as a single father. I provided him with internet, netflix, hulu, and other streaming apps at no charge, as well as loans and many other financial resources to help him get ahead and make things more comfortable for his son. This man admitted to me that he was a male whore and proposed a friend’s with benefits arrangement. I declined stating I wasn’t a casual sex kinda gal. I’ve put it all together. He as well as the ex-roomate, and my stalker are all connected to the malign campain that has followed me from state to state. They even stole my identity and applied for dozens and dozens of loans starting over a year ago and are still trying to take out loans under my identity. I have had collectors calling me but have not had to be responsible. I have reported fraud on my identity to the three credit reporting agencies here in the US, and have frozen my credit. The FBI is investigating. I have shut the neighbor down on all my resources and have gone no contact. Yes Anna the world is full of bullies, but I will not be intimidated.

      I am currently not working. I am taking a short leave of absence after a breakdown at work and am currently on medication and in therapy due to all the bulling and sexual harrassment at work. My financial situatio is in a dire state and I am wondering how I am even going to pay next months rent affter exhausting my savings account.I am going to be working on insisting that they my employers bring in a professional organization to adress the bullying and sexual harrassment that is exhibited even by leadership there and has obviously been going on for a very long time and seems to be accepted. I will not let this go even if I have to pursue legal methods. I could let this go and move on. I will be moving on but I will not let this go without leaving this environment a better place for those who choose employment there.

      That brings me to you njfilly. As you can see; no I am not a coward, and I have very high standards and morals for myself despite my childhood. I expect more out of myself than I do anyone around me.I don’t need to proove myself to anyone, but heres your proof. I will even stand up to a man that has a gun in my face at the age of 12, threatening to kill me. My father; the man who is supposed to love and protect me from all the evil in the world and treat me like a princess. As you can see I have had my hands full and have not had time for your petty behaviors and nonsense. I will address you when I have the time.

  3. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Here’s one for you …..
    Them : What’s the first thing you notice when someone tries to approach you ?

    Me : The audacity

    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  4. Gypsy Heart says:

    We had plenty of time to do all that.

  5. In so many words says:

    Dear HG,

    I have wanted to ask you this in a public forum for the past week, but couldn’t find the right place. This article seems like the best place somehow. It is in connection with preventing school shootings by identifying young people with antisocial personality disorder who are likely to commit school shootings. No study has been done to my knowledge, but I am guessing it is mostly psychopaths and sociopaths who commit these shootings, as both a lack of empathy and absence of fear is shown. Everyone here in the US is focused on general gun control, but there are hundreds of millions of guns already out there in private hands in the US. I believe key is preventing specific individuals from getting their hands on a gun. Perhaps those identified by a school or a parent? I believe you are the best person to provide an opinion on this issue, if you care to.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There is considerable merit in assessing the individuals who can wield a gun, that stated, the resources needed to do it would be considerable and in a country where millions of guns exist so readily, such an individual would still be able to lay their hands on such weaponry even if formally denied the right to do so.

      The biggest problem the USA has is that the genie is already out of the bottle and it will not go back in. The prevailing mindset re gun ownership AND the prevalence of available guns means this issue will not go away just through profiling of applicants. Much more needs to be done, but there will not be an appetite for it.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Genie out of the bottle indeed. Given the number of guns already out there, I can understand the argument for a handgun for personal protection or a rifle for hunting. What I cannot understand is the argument for guns that fire off continuous rounds and increase the likelihood of several casualties in a short span. What reasonable argument is made for these weapons being needed and so readily available? Start there. Then at least when one of these mental mouth breathers gets their hands on a gun and has to stop to reload, the targets at least have a chance. That is all that people who are asking for a change in gun laws are really asking for – a chance for their children and their children’s children. It’s fucked up that the unreasonable right to shoot more targets (whatever they may be) faster, trumps the reasonable right of others to simply live.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          But but but we need semi automatic weapons so we can fire faster to ensure that those already with handguns and rifles don’t kill us first, comes the reply.

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Surely your great nation is comprised of more intelligent people who can see through and vote against this pathetic excuse of reasoning. A nation quite comfortable in marching off to other countries to uphold justice and the freedom of others can surely find the backbone to defend and honor your own children at home first comes my reply.

          2. A Victor says:

            My handgun does 5 rounds as quickly as I can squeeze the trigger 5 times, releasing each time in between. It qualifies as a semi-automatic. If I’m face to face with another semi-automatic, I would find this preferable to needing to cock it each time in between shots. What my gun does not do is continue shooting as I hold the trigger down, that is an automatic and it is for all intents and purposes illegal in the US to own.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Empaths With Guns the new film by Sam Pekinpah!

          4. A Victor says:

            Omg, thank you for that comedy, I was literally shaking in my boots sending that comment!!! 😘

          5. Gypsy Heart says:

            Yes, AV, mine is the same and I always have it on me. My stalker has actually confessed to people in town that he killed his wife and got away with it. He than put another woman in the hospital and went to prison. He is also on meth and if he busts through my door on meth I was told to keep shooting because they don’t always go down when they are on meth.

            My state was just listed as one of the top gun dependent states and lowest mass shootings. But we are as rural as you can get.

            I guess we did have some threats at work one day and everyone panicked when they didn’t tell us about the young security guy walking around with a gun on his hip. By first break everyone had went out to their vehicles to get their guns. Probably half the factory was packing that day. Anyone trying to shoot the place up wouldnt have had a chance.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Well, look at that, coffee or smoking break rejected in favour of getting strapped break.

          7. A Victor says:

            Who needs coffee and cigarettes anyway?!

          8. lickemtomorrow says:

            I read a comment at the end of an article to do with gun control in the US and the commenter (from the US) stated that when they were in highschool everyone had a rifle in the back of their pickup truck.

            That tells me that something in the culture has changed as there weren’t school shootings by the sounds of things back in the day, although the weaponry has become more advanced.

            Is it that life has become cheap? Has ‘gaming’ increased the lust for violence?

            If you compared the statistics for responsible gun ownership against irresponsible (related to criminal activity) gun ownership what would you find? Many guns involved in illegal activity no doubt would not be obtained legally, hence background checks, etc., are not necessarily going to prevent that element of violence.

            When I visited Chicago several years ago I walked into a burger bar (my first meal in the Windy City) and this is what the sign read: “Trespassing violaters will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.” OK, that gave me a little chuckle. Then I picked up a newspaper from a table nearby – it was the day after the Memorial Day long weekend – and couldn’t believe how many shootings and killings there had been over that one weekend (up to 30 at least). Holy moley! It was a shock to the system, but I know now that is not unusual in Chicago. How many of the weapons involved in those shootings would be registered, I wonder.

            There is inner city crime which appears to be a different creature, but the end result is the same. Can anyone holding a legal weapon be prevented from killing someone else? Doubtful. The only solution is to disallow gun ownership altogether. I can see why that would be an impractical idea based on a society founded in revolution and clearly intending its populace have the right to bear arms. It’s how I explain it to my children.

            I’ve no doubt there’s some tweaking to be done, but another impression I have is that guns being part of the culture mean children are also taught how to use them from a very early age, at least in some parts. The argument that could be made that practice is based on responsible gun ownership, which includes securing weapons as well. Perhaps if we used the term ‘weapons’, as opposed to just ‘guns’ more weight could be given to arguments around how they are perceived and the damage they can do.

            I remember telling my children when they were learning to drive that a car should be considered a weapon, in terms of the damage that could be done when driving irresponsibly. It was a dangerous thing because of the amount of power behind it, which meant you needed to follow the road rules so it did not become a ‘weapon’. Highlighting the dangers, which should be obvious when it comes to guns so I assume that’s already happening, is the only way to begin. Unfortunately, if there is a will to kill it’s very difficult to prevent that.

            I don’t think the only issue is guns, per se. I think we live in an increasingly violent society and what underlies that penchant for violence needs to be considered.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            Actually, when you look across history, the world is less violent that it used to be, it is a perception (caused my media coverage) that world is more violent.

          10. lickemtomorrow says:

            I’m looking forward to reading these.

            BTW, the sign read “NO trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.”

            A lighter take on a very dark subject.

          11. lickemtomorrow says:

            Interesting snippets related to war and deaths associated with the same, causes for our impressions of an increase in violence, and finally thoughts on ‘enlightenment’.

            I’ll add this slightly lengthier piece which also goes to challenge the notion:


            I’m not averse to having my ideas challenged and enjoy learning from those who can present evidence to the contrary.

            If we consider this evidence, then

            1/ It potentially proves my point of making a comparison between responsible gun ownership vs irresponsible (criminal) which would likely lead to the conclusion that far more people – considering the number of guns legally available – are responsible in terms of their ownership which makes the need to remove guns from responsible owners unnecessary.

            2/ Presents a challenge as to how guns can be removed from people in a society which is not actually shown to be becoming more violent.

            It seems the argument that the existence of guns making society more violent cannot be used, nor that the removal of guns will make society more peaceful. We apparently are trending away from violence and towards peace. The existence and use of guns becomes a moot point, except in extraordinary circumstances which often can’t be predicted or prevented. If a madman wants to get hold of a gun to kill someone then that is still possible. Removing the right of anyone to own a gun will not stop him. Allowing people to own guns might actually prevent him. That is an argument that can and is being made.

            I’m inclined to think weapons should be for war and may also be used for peacekeeping purposes, or law and order. The exception to that would be in circumstances where oppression is served up as a legitimate form of law and order. Ultimately that all comes down to politics. No easy answers, I’m afraid.

            ” Too much of our impression of the world comes from a misleading formula of journalistic narration. Reporters give lavish coverage to gun bursts, explosions, and viral videos, oblivious to how representative they are and apparently innocent of the fact that many were contrived as journalist bait. Then come sound bites from “experts” with vested interests in maximizing the impression of mayhem: generals, politicians, security officials, moral activists. The talking heads on cable news filibuster about the event, desperately hoping to avoid dead air. Newspaper columnists instruct their readers on what emotions to feel.

            There is a better way to understand the world. Commentators can brush up their history — not by rummaging through Bartlett’s for a quote from Clausewitz, but by recounting the events of the recent past that put the events of the present in an intelligible context. And they could consult the analyses of quantitative datasets on violence that are now just a few clicks away.

            An evidence-based mindset on the state of the world would bring many benefits.”

            – December 2014 article by Pinker and Andrew Mack

          12. A Victor says:

            Hi LET,

            “I read a comment at the end of an article to do with gun control in the US and the commenter (from the US) stated that when they were in highschool everyone had a rifle in the back of their pickup truck.” I don’t know if you were referring to the comment I made on this thread, I remember this, it was literally not a problem back then.

            It was in part because of the attitude about guns that I felt safe as a child, in regard to that kind of violence, my dad kept his under the bed and at the ready in case of an intruder, it was a comfort to us. And he taught us very young and in an on-going fashion about the dangers of them, about how to use them and what they are to be used for. He taught us a healthy respect for their power and that they were a valuable tool for a very limited number of purposes. Though both of my ex’s owned them, I did not have my own until after my second ex left, then it was gifted to me due to concern that he may have reappeared. I have been very thankful to have it on several occasions.

            I also see that our world has become less violent than throughout history. As for me, I would much prefer the firearms to be in the hands of normals and empaths than those of most narcissists, HG an exception of course, we need him to do the things we would not want to do that need to be done. But if empaths and normals controlled all the firearms, there would be no need of them I think, or at least very much less.

            I agree with and appreciate the points made in your second comment regarding taking the firearm’s out of the hands of responsible gun owners. Thank you for your willingness to consider this topic with an open mind, I think sometimes it is approached from a place of fear because people don’t have knowledge of guns, that they are simply an inanimate tool on their own, but such a useful one in a situation where there is harm intended.

          13. lickemtomorrow says:

            Hi AV,

            I was very surprised to see you used the exact same example in relation to guns re: the time you were in high school and if you look at the date/time stamp I think you will find I posted that impression before you made your comment. Every now and again I feel there is some weird connection running between us 😛 It must have been quite common at the time and highlights the difference now compared to then when it comes to school shootings. Disgruntled teens have been around for a long time and yet it didn’t lead to that kind of phenomena. There are multiple questions being raised about this latest case revolving around the police response in the circumstances, the school’s safety measures – including maintenance issues, and also the shooter’s potential (based on his background) for carrying out such an act. I don’t find any of these cases straightforward in terms of making the argument that guns are to blame. Anyone with a mind to kill can obtain a weapon either legally or illegally and carry out an act of violence.

            It’s very interesting to hear about your own experience and the reassurance you felt as a child, also now as an adult, to have the opportunity and availability of gun ownership. Many people exposed to a different culture will have a different impression based on their experiences and upbringing. In general there would be a trust in law enforcement and their right to carry guns for that purpose, thus the need for gun ownership is never considered. It is their job to protect and serve. Society in that sense is based on a different premise to that in the US of handing the right over to citizens, as in citizens have the right to protect themselves and their property which includes the right to own guns. A lot of people accept them for use in hunting and sport, but otherwise it’s left to the government to protect us.

            I am happy to consider the situation from more than one perspective, AV. I think knee jerk reactions are commonplace after incidents like the one that has just taken place, but the arguments I note have also been ongoing over a number of years. We see societies can thrive in either circumstance and also suffer the unimaginable when someone with the will to do harm is able to succeed. We also know guns are not the only weapons that can be used and also can’t prevent every situation where harm is intended.

            I think a lot is down to preparedness, or having plans in place should the worst case scenario arise, and often that can’t be predicted until it happens, as well as raising awareness of the signs to look out for with regard to an individual’s state of mind. We can’t control everything. A lot of the time things are missed. Calling out gun ownership as the problem is not going to solve that. Focusing on criminal and illegal activity is likely to be a more effective preventative measure in the broader sense. As you say, guns are inanimate tools and while some may breathe a sigh of relief at never having to consider having or using one, there are many others who feel their safety is assured by at least having the option.

          14. A Victor says:

            Yes, Gypsy Heart, you have a good reason to carry. My state is also high in gun dependence, much to our governor’s dismay, I was surprised he got elected.

            When I was in high school, we took firearms to school, left in the back seat or the back of the pickup on nice days, and went hunting or shooting after class. No one thought anything of it, we had no mass shootings and had one happened, it would’ve been stopped before law enforcement even arrived. Anyway, things have changed, for better or worse.

          15. Gypsy Heart says:

            Yes, AV… the good ol days

          16. Contagious says:

            The problem is Americans don’t trust government. It began that way and remains. Guns are easily bought.

          17. Alex the Authentic says:

            Empaths with Guns starring AV, Gypsy Heart, and I showcasing our handguns sounds like promising film. I think we would give Top Gun: Maverick a run for its money at the box office 🙂

          18. A Victor says:

            Hey, I like that idea!! It would be epic!!!

          19. A Victor says:

            Okay, at least it COULD be epic…haha

          20. Bubbles says:

            Dear Mr Tudor,
            Perhaps violence stats have not shown an increase over the years, however it seems like mental issues have increased….there’s the difference!

            All our kids came home safe from school, we can go to the shops, cinema, concerts, sports, out for drinks or dinner and feel extremely safe. Unfortunately a lot of newcomers to our country who come from different cultures, need to be educated on our way of life more extensively. They tend to be the main troublemakers here.

            My mum loved her rifle (it was intended to put animals down on her property if needed) however, she found immense power in it. Her eyes change when she talks about her rifle….. she threatened the neighbours with it one day, two weeks later they moved out. Her rifle was registered, licensed, under lock and key and she would be randomly checked by authorities to make sure it was locked away and would be heavily fined if it wasn’t.

            I don’t not like guns at all……they kill !
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          21. HG Tudor says:

            Mental issues have increased because there is a greater awareness of them but also because there is a section of society which thinks having a bad day amounts to a mental health condition and that they should be given support, leeway and even a diagnosis. People dare not reject such demands for fear of being seen as unsympathetic and thus these individuals reinforce “feeling down” as “being depressed” when it is nothing of the sort.

          22. WiserNow says:

            Upon reading your comment, I find it interesting. You don’t have emotional empathy yourself and you have also said that sadness is beneath you, therefore you place a judgement on emotions you don’t actually feel yourself.

            I’m curious about how you can tell the difference between those individuals who are actually depressed and those who are not.

          23. Asp Emp says:

            Brilliant comment, HG. Then there are GPs that seemingly “offer” the “diagnosis” that someone is depressed when in fact it was ‘conditioned’ ET / LT as a result of narcissistic abused related CPTSD and to offer a prescription of anti-depressants to the a “solution” to the “problem”. Now, I have proved the point, medication was not the answer, depression was not the diagnosis. Goes to show that my GP was in fact wrong! Should I have the need to have an appointment with that GP, I will be sharing, directly, what was “wrong” with me and what GPs should be looking out for instead of issuing prescriptions willy-nilly. Thank you for your work, without it, I would not have had an opportunity to prove my GP wrong and for me to learn about ET / LT re-programming that actually reverses the initial ‘conditioning’. You’re a lifesaver, HG, thank you xxx

          24. Bubbles says:

            Dear Mr Tudor,
            Thank you for your reply.
            Couldn’t agree more!
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        2. Gypsy Heart says:


          I agree fully automated weapons shouldn’t be readily available, but that will not stop it. My father narcissist/psychopath had an extensive gun collection. Many of them legit, many under the radar off the black market. I also sat with him one day and he showed me how easy it was to build and make one of his weapons fully automatic. He would take it apart and then build it again when he wanted it fully automated and leave the house with it. I remember feeling the chills go down my spine wondering where he was going with it, especially after one of his rants about killing people.

          One of the most humiliating things I had to do when I was a child was to give people a heads up when I was in fear for their safety. Many of them had guns also and didn’t seem to fear for their safety. I learned that my maternal grandfather used to keep a gun under his pillow just because of my father.

          He did have good taste in whatever his interests or collections. I do remember him talking about his “rare” collectors guns. My handgun is one of the few things that I kept of my father’s. That and his acoustic guitar. The guy that I target shoot with was salivating over my gun, saying my father did have good taste in guns and that mine was quite rare and worth a lot.

          We did have serial killers in my area of the country. A famous one actually grew up in the town that I raised my daughter in and she has had conversations with a couple people that actually knew him. A friend of mine brought up wouldnt that be interesting if your father was responsible for some of the murders in your part of the country. I said don’t even go there!!!!!

          1. Contagious says:

            Gypsy: I agree with you and I am American. Like every family needs an AK47. I recall years ago driving through Hollywood a concert ( Diana Ross) after a concert and seeing all these little boys with their hands behind their heads and all these various guns in the ground. We have mass shootings everyday it seems in the US, yet our Supreme Court is relaxing laws on their interpretation of the 2nd Amendment. I agree with HG the cat is out of the box, the US will not restrict gun laws as it is too embedded in the history. First is that we need guns in case it’s against government. Second guns are out there, so the good guys need them ie put security guards at school. With that in mind, I read about 5 years ago about a man trying to attack an old woman in NYC, she shot him. He lived but you never know who is packing here. If we would put half our money into mental illness versus guns, it would be a better country. But no money in mental illness…. Sad.

      2. Bubbles says:

        Dear Mr Tudor,
        That why I luv living in Australia … guns!
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Well you have your hands full dealing with poisonous snakes, giant spiders and marauding roos!

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dear Mr Tudor,
            They’re our pets 🤣😂🤣😂
            Luv Bubbles

          2. A Victor says:

            Hahaha, good one Bubbles!

          3. Asp Emp says:

            Handle them with care, Bubbles 😉 xx

          4. Duchessbea says:

            And don’t forget the narcissists.

          5. A Victor says:

            This made me laugh!

          6. Bubbles says:

            Dear Mr Tudor and lovelies,
            We are also famous for our red back spiders , 🕷we keep them on the toilet seats … know …..for narcissists 🤣
            We grow Funnel web spiders in lawns. …..gimme Down Under any day 🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          7. Asp Emp says:

            Bubbles, you are hilarious! I did watch a tv programme about these spiders quite some time ago. It was interesting. My dog used to “keep” them out of the house 🙂 Her hearing was really astute to be able to hear them moving around. Keep safe 🙂 xx

          8. HG Tudor says:

            How did the dog keep spiders out of the house, did she issue a proclamation banishing them or just eat them?

          9. Asp Emp says:

            HG, she was a smart-ass dog. I never trained her to do it. She used to wait, in the dog-hunt ‘mode’ and then tip-toe up to the spider and…….attack…..she’d chew it, drop it, chew it again, until it stopped moving. Hence my “keep” usage 🙂 So, no, she did not eat them, never mind banish them (laughing). She’d chase and eat the flies though. Nice.

          10. HG Tudor says:

            Do you think she was actually just playing until the spider was no longer able to play? Seems familiar.

          11. Asp Emp says:

            I knew my dog and her behaviours very well, HG. Her tail was not wagging when it came to hunting the spider 🙂 She played with balls, plastic bottles (sometimes with water in them). When it comes to human “spiders” hunting their prey, maybe the behaviours are slightly different? 😉

          12. HG Tudor says:


          13. Bubbles says:

            Dearest AspEmp,
            Dogs usually take after their owners hehe ……hmmmmm clever dog AE 🤓
            Hope she didn’t go for bees
            Some counties deep fry spiders, we take them for rides in our cars….scream like crazy whilst downloading it on TikTok for fun, kangaroos roam our streets whilst koalas and possums live in our back yard trees along with blue tongue lizards lazing in our gardens 🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          14. Asp Emp says:

            Bubbles, oh, I loved my dog. I picked her out (3 years old at the time), lived to 17.5 years. When she was around 4, she did chase a bee and never did it again after that. She was ok. Wow, you do experience some very interesting wildlife in your garden 🙂 Yes, about deep fried spiders. It was about 2 weeks ago when tv programme about Gordon Ramsey was doing one of his country trips and he was given an open fire cooked tarantula. His face, hahaha. He closed his eyes as he tasted a leg (a very small bite of it, very small). Chews. Tentatively. Then says to the effect of, it tastes a bit like chicken / frogs legs. And, no, the hairs were not shaved off either. As for the lizards, my dad obtained a spiky one as a pet. His name was Hubert. Ah, the memory. 🙂 . I love your comments, Bubbles, you hilarious woman 🙂

            (Thank you, HG, for moderating 🙂 xx)

          15. Viol. says:

            Ooh, Bubbles, it sounds wonderful! Hope I’ll get to visit someday. The last massive medieval re-enactment I went to before the Pandemic, there was an encampment with a ‘roo and an emu on their banner.

          16. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Viol,
            Cats n dogs eat ‘roo’ meat ….we eat ‘kangaroo’ meat (the wild ones, not the pets) 🤣
            I haven’t tried emu…..I’m not “game” enough 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          17. Bubbles says:

            Dearest AspEmp,
            Animals bring more happiness than what people do. I’m happy for the loving and lengthy bond you had with your devoted fur ball. A spikey lizard wouldn’t do it for me however I’m glad your dad found joy in little Hubert, sounds a very appropriate name. I’m more familiar with chameleons …..🤣

            That Gordon Ramsey episode rings a bell ….no way would I eat those eight legged hairy creatures, I’ll leave them to the birds. I’m afraid I’m not that adventurous hehe Some countries will eat anything … thanks 🤢🤮
            I know what I like 🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          18. Asp Emp says:

            Bubbles 🙂 Thank you RE: my dog. “more familiar with chameleons”….laughing. I agree, I draw the line at eating such critters too 🙂 Lovely to hear from you, Bubbles 🙂 x

          19. Contagious says:

            HG your comment about mental health is interesting and most likely accurate. I also think that Big Pharm and some doctors enhance this issue. Medications abound and why opiates have surpassed car accidents for death. But also I read a book by an English forensic psychiatrist who works at Broadmor and believes every mental health condition can be helped ( not cured.) She spoke of the elimination of asylums worldwide. The onus is now on families to handle even the most serious mental disorders. Many are the homeless. There appears to be no government money to maintain serious mental illness beyond 3 weeks. She said that was the average longest stay. So the prisons fill…

        2. Bubbles says:

          Dear Mr Tudor,
          I’m utterly shocked to hear of America’s abortion rights overturned by the majority being ‘male’ US Justices and yet they allow guns that kill children
          Gay marriages next
          Another reason why I luv Australia
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Contagious says:

            Bubbles: It is disgusting. I cried when Trump won as I knew he would fill the positions. Trump didn’t care, he made a deal with Koch and the other Christian Right to be backed to run for President and lived up to his promises. It’s destroyed the “ neutral” third arm of balance in America. I see a swing back but it will take time until then poor women many minority will suffer. I believe in the right to choose even if I would choose life. We are medieval.

          2. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Contagious,
            308 mass killings so far this year in America (Australia nil) and now ‘men’ over ruling on women’s bodies……I feel the United States of America is very UN-United at the moment. Very sad ‘state/s’ of affairs indeed!
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      3. Gypsy Heart says:

        Yes, it is a complicated situation to even contemplate how to implement into law. The emotionally charged prevailing opinions in my rural area is “you are not going to take my guns away”!!!!! I hear a lot of people state that if there is too much regulation it will be the black market and criminal society who have access to the guns and the law abiding citizens will have no way to defend themselves against the criminal element.

        All we have to do is look at prohibition and the illegal drug industry to see where this is going. Where there is a will there is a way.

        Another issue we are having in bordering states where I live where marijuana has been legalized is that international drug cartels are coming in coercing local residents who have legal businesses and using these store fronts for the illegal drug trade and human trafficking.

        1. A Victor says:

          Oh wow Gypsy Heart, I wish I knew which state you are in. I am not asking, just wondering. This is a very interesting piece of information.

        2. Contagious says:

          They stopped that in California making the pot stores ridiculously expensive. Taxes. Of course everyone can get it cheaper. I have no problem with legalized weed.

    2. KitKat says:

      HG, exactly. Same for a number of other issues which seemingly have an increased prevalence as of late.

  6. alexissmith2016 says:

    HG, if you block a MRN and they don’t block you back, is this because they ‘hope’ you will unblock them at some stage in the future or because you’re so insignificant to them that they don’t care? This is assuming you have recently been off-shelf then you blocked them but from their perspective everything was all well and good so out of the blue.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Why are you checking that the narcissist is doing? Breach of no contact.
      2. They are focussed elsewhere as you are a shelf appliance and have not needed to assert control through blocking you.

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        Thanks so much HG.

        1. This is not someone who has any emotional impact on me and I relish trying and testing things where I feel emotionally safe to do so. Trust me, My LT overrides my ET in almost all situations now. Thanks to you of course.
        2. This is incredibly interesting and so very helpful. Thank you very much.

  7. Asp Emp says:

    “You never see the darkness until you have seen the light”


    Brilliantly written article. It can only be truly understood when you do see the ‘light’.

  8. Anna says:

    Absolutely magnificent! What a fantastic analogy. It is so true, unless you are enlightened or illuminated it is not possible to see what is going on around you. HG, this is truly a work of art. Have you thought about writing poetry? or maybe you do already? My personal favourite is Lord Byron. I love his work, absolutely amazing.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

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