Knowing the Narcissist : The Codependent Empath
25 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : The Codependent Empath”
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HG, a couple of questions if you have time please.
1. If a female unaware Co dependent empath has a mother who is a narcissist, could the co dependent potentially view the narcissist as an extension of herself?
As in, if for example the Co dependent’s partner points out behaviours in the narcissist that he can clearly see are abusive, the Co dependent then defends the narcissist mother but appears to view the criticism of the narcissist as a criticism of herself instead. Is this something you might see with a Codependent ACON if the only narcissist in her life is the narcissist mother?
2. If the co dependent is attached to the parent narcissist, the narcissist parent being an ‘anchor’ for the co dependent, is there any way that her partner could become the replacement anchor for the co dependent if the partner is an aware standard empath?
Any guidance you can offer would be much appreciated thank you.
1. Yes, this is a product of emoaitonal thinking. Defending the narcissist because the criticism is also seems as an attack on the co dependent.
2. The codependent is more likely to remain anchored to the narcissist than the empath owing to the effect of emotional thinking.
Thank you for your response HG. Much appreciated.
Hi TS!
Its so nice to see your name pop up!
Hey Leigh,
Why thank you! It’s lovely to see you too!
Xx
Mr. Tudor–
1. Can non-narcissists trigger someone to switch to co-dependency?
2. How long can you (personally) keep someone operating in CoD mode if they are a standard or super majority?
3. Does how long a narcissist can keep a CoD (non-majority) operating in CoD mode just depend on the percentage of CoD present/number of triggers?
4. How do those who aren’t majority CoD/have a very small number of triggers describe feeling a certain way after they realize they have been used?
Thank you so much for your time. I greatly appreciate it.
1. Yes, co-dependency can also manifest outside of the empath/narcissist dynamic.
2. As long as I deem necessary.
3. No, that is a factor more relevant to frequency than duration.
Thank you, sir.
Regarding bringing out a minority CoD for you personally…
1. Is this more often done for fuel or control or other reasons?
2. Is it about alleviating your boredom?
3. Hypothetical majority carrier super empath with minority of geyser and co-dependent…do you find that when you switch the person to CoD mode that you get more geyser responses?
4. If you’re doing this to an IPPS (switching from super to CoD), does this begin happening with greater frequency when the golden period ends?
Regarding “As long as you deem it necessary”
6. Does this time proportionally more effort if there are fewer triggers?
7. Say you switch someone to CoD in an argument before bed…do they ‘reset’ to their majority overnight? Do you have to renew the manipulations in the morning?
It would be fascinating and informative to hear more about how you bring out the co-dependent when it is a minority/insignificant school. I think it could be very helpful, too.
Thank you so much for your time. I greatly appreciate it.
HG, RE: your answer in # 1. I had wondered about that, through my observations.
Hi Asp Emp,
Have you observed co-dependency being triggered in others or the co-dependent behavior being triggered in yourself?
Dani,
My codependency gets triggered often, it’s annoying at times and other times I don’t even realize it.
Dani, have you read ‘Chained’?
Hello Rebecca,
Thank you so much for answering.
1. Do you have a high percentage of CoD school?
2. Have many people used your CoD to take advantage of you?
3. When you notice the activation of your CoD, does it seem like the individual, in general, is one who is sporadic or habitual?
4. Do you sometimes realize it a few days later?
5. Have you had any success addressing what you know triggers the CoD behavior?
Hello Asp-Emp, I haven’t read “Chained” yet.
Yes! This is exactly my mom! Married to Patri Narc for almost 60 years, never tried to escape, clinging on Patri Narc, being his 24/7 servant and this means even abusing her own child! How an a so called Co-Dependent “Empath” have ZERO empathy for HER OWN CHILD?!
Zero empathy is the hallmark of a narc – not of an empath.
My mom has no sense of entitlement, is not seeking fuel.
Leela_Z, sorry to read about your family. I would agree with the comment NarcAngel made about being a narc. Remember the narc is very good a portraying one thing, whilst they are another. Being fake and acting are second nature. Not easy to accept and I’m sure HG could give you some advice.
Best,
DB
HG,
This explains so much of my behaviors and the urge and attraction to the narcissist I have and deal with. Thank you for this knowledge xx
I am not COD but it sounds like out of all categories of empaths they have the most trouble breaking away. True?
Correct.
So does this mean most or the majority of narcs favor them? I would think so.
Contagious,
The Codependent empath, as HG wrote in his CHAINED book, “The Codependent is the holy grail” Read the book, It’ll answer more of your questions. Xx
It’s even harder to be in a relationship with someone “normal” (drink, eat, sleep). It is… impossible. I might as well die.
Joa: have you tried with normals? Empaths? Or have you been stuck narc to narc? You sound like you have experienced other types of relationships? X I was lucky most of mine have been with normals or empaths long term so I know the difference. The highs I reached with empath kings were beautiful and didn’t last due to life choices ie I wanted to move away and study law or I wanted children and he didn’t. With my normals, it was timing or once I lacked passion sexually. But with my narcs and there were two, it was a dramatic situation of ups and downs. Great euphoria and deep pain with my ex husband an antisocial it was stable and boring until I left when I discovered his crimes. He wasn’t happy I left. If I had to choose it would be my noble empaths. Fairy tales.