How the Narcissist´s Mind Works
If you want to know how the Narcissist Mind works, then you’ve come to exactly the right place. This place provides you with insight that you won’t get anywhere else. Why? Well, I’m an aware narcissistic psychopath. I know many of you know that, but there may be some of you reading that are not aware of that fact. This means that not only am I able to tell you about the way that I function and operate, but I’ve also gained insight with an ability to spot my own and observe them in action and be able to let you know how they are behaving. Also, if you like, it’s a particular gift that I have linked to my high executive function, cognitive abilities, and something else that’s just by virtue of what makes me the ultra. I have been around narcissists my entire life. My mother is one, my uncle is one. I have been involved in them in other men of my family. I have taken them as intimate partners, never the intimate partner primary source, but in other capacities. I have dealt with them socially. I’ve dealt with them in business. I’ve dealt with them as colleagues. I’ve dealt with them across a number of different fields. And because of the way that I function, I observe, I drink in the information, and I’ve been able to collate all of that into a workable system, which is the Ultra Framework. And if you want to know what that is, you can just go and watch that video, the Ultra Framework, on the Ultra channel.
But how does the narcissist’s mind work? Well, I’m going to focus in this video on how the narcissist’s mind works in relation to the unaware narcissist, because that forms the vast majority of narcissists. There are aware narcissists such as myself, however, most narcissists that you deal with are likely to be unaware. And the fundamental way to understand the way that their mind works is to picture it as a twin track approach. Let us begin with what is going on subconsciously. If you think about The narcissism as an app that has been downloaded onto the narcissist, the narcissism’s job is to essentially protect that narcissist. Narcissism is a self defense mechanism. What this narcissism does is it must cause the narcissist to pursue what is known as the prime aims. That means. It needs to cause the narcissist to control whoever is on the radar through the three assertions of control, to draw fuel from them by way of using manipulations to achieve that, to acquire character traits, and also residual benefits. Those four things are the prime aims. And I have separate videos and books that tell you more about the way the narcissist seeks that control, what fuel is, what character trait acquisition is, and what residual benefits are. But if you think about the narcissist as, say, a robot, this robot has an operating system downloaded onto it, like the app, which is the narcissism. And the narcissism has four aims. They don’t always apply, but one will do, which is control, and possibly seeking fuel, character traits, and residual benefits.
Accordingly, whenever the narcissist interacts with another human being or potentially interacts with another human being, the narcissist is driven subconsciously, they don’t know that this is what they’re doing, to pursue the prime aims. The narcissism motivates. This narcissist to control his wife, to draw fuel from his wife, to acquire a residual benefit from her, which might be, for instance, compelling her to make a meal for him. There are three of the four prime aims. This is what’s going on underneath the surface. And the pursuit of the prime aims governs every single interaction or potential interaction between that narcissist and another human being, a human being viewed as an appliance. But with the unaware narcissist, they don’t think to themselves, ah, here comes my wife, I must control her and draw fuel from her, I must also acquire a residual benefit from her. The narcissism doesn’t allow the narcissist the conscious awareness of what they’re precisely doing. Instead, and this Is where the twin track approach comes in, the narcissism has to use an alternative method of thinking and feeling to compel the narcissist to pursue the prime aims. If you will, if the narcissist was allowed to know that they were pursuing the prime aims, they wouldn’t do it effectively. What’s all this control thing I’ve got to do? Fuel, what’s that?
They might hesitate, they would query, and instead, what happens is that the narcissism causes the narcissist to feel and think about something which will make them pursue the prime aims. It doesn’t matter if what they think is actually the reality that you understand it to be. Frequently, the narcissism causes the narcissist to recall events and see events in a different way through the distortion field that is the narcissism. This is why the narcissist will often say and do things which don’t make any sense to you, because the narcissist is looking at it from a different perspective. So let’s take, for example, a situation whereby the narcissist has gone to a bar with his girlfriend. She has gone to the bar to order some drinks. At that point in time, there isn’t a problem. She is under control because she’s doing something for him. He sees her at the bar, seeking the attention of the barman. There isn’t a problem, she’s still seeking drinks, which shows she’s under control and it’s also a residual benefit for him. Then he notices that she’s talking to a man at the bar. This is a problem. The narcissist doesn’t think, ah, she’s no longer under control and she’s not providing me with fuel, I need to do something about this, but that is what the narcissism recognizes. The fact that his girlfriend is talking to another person means that she’s no longer acting in his interests. It turns out that this person is a colleague from work and she’s just saying hello and they’re exchanging a few words. It’s perfectly innocent and it’s perfectly friendly. However, she is demonstrating that she’s not under control and therefore the narcissist must do something to cause the narcissist to pursue the prime aims in relation to his girlfriend.
In other words, to bring her under control and to gain the fuel. In some instances, that might compel the narcissist to go over and intervene. It might be, dependent on the type of narcissist, that the narcissist would go over and say, Who do you think you are talking to my girlfriend? However, in this instance, the narcissist operates with a facade, which means it doesn’t want him causing a scene, and therefore he’s not going to go and start a fight or an altercation with the man. Instead, it causes him to wait until his girlfriend has returned to the table where he sat. In order to compel him to take action to bring her under control, the narcissism instinctively chooses to tell the narcissist that she was flirting with the man at the bar. This is not what happened, but in the world of the narcissist, this is what has happened. His perspective, the narcissistic perspective, has seen a different version of events. It is, in fact, a revision of history. Accordingly he believes, because the narcissism tells him this, that she was flirting with this man, and that causes him to feel jealous, for he fears losing his girlfriend. Thus, the belief that she was flirting and the sensation of jealousy operate to motivate the narcissist to now confront her and say, So, who was that then that you were chatting up at the bar? What are you talking about? She says. Her question means she’s still not under control. That man, you were all over him, touching him, batting your eyelashes at him. Of course, that didn’t actually happen, but in the world of the narcissist it did. The narcissism continues to cause the narcissist to think and feel in a particular way, so he is motivated to bring her back under control. At this point, his girlfriend says, Oh, him? Oh, that’s just John from work. We’re just friends. Oh, don’t be silly. It’s you that I love.
At this juncture with her professing love for the narcissist and the dismissal of John, she demonstrates that she’s back under control, and because she’s talking to the narcissist, she’s providing fuel. The threat to the control has now been nullified. Accordingly, you will note that there was a twin track. The narcissism wanted the narcissist to gain control and draw fuel once again, but it can’t allow him to know that. And instead, what it told him was your girlfriend is flirting with the man at the bar, and you’ll feel envious about it, you’ll feel jealous of losing her. Accordingly, in those circumstances, that’s what motivates him to subconsciously pursue the prime aims. That, in a nutshell, is how. The narcissist’s mind works. A twin track approach in the unaware narcissist, whereby subconsciously there is the pursuit of the prime aims, which is then layered with something else to motivate the narcissist to go after those subconscious prime aims. And that layering is infinite in the different combinations that it might be. It will cause the narcissist to think that they love somebody and have a feeling that they believe to be love, so they assert control over that person and draw fuel from them and gain a residual benefit.
It will use antipathy, envy, hatred, allied with a particular mindset. You’ve been cheating on me. There’s no actual evidence of that, but in the mind of the narcissist, the narcissism uses the idea that the spouse has cheated to motivate the narcissist to make that accusation to bring them under control. So, the way to look at the way that the mind of the narcissist works is to envisage it as two layers. The subconscious layer, which is the pursuit of the prime aims, those four factors, and then the over layer, which is what the narcissist is actually thinking and feeling, which is caused by his narcissism, which is his reality or her reality. It is what he actually feels and thinks and genuinely believes it, but it isn’t actually.
Now, when the narcissist is doing something on their own, the prime aims aren’t applicable. So, take for example, the narcissist feels thirsty. He goes to the fridge and he pours himself a drink of water. Why did he do that? He was thirsty. There was no human interaction, so it was based on his thirst. But let us imagine his girlfriend comes in and she has been jogging. She looks thirsty. She is on his radar and needs to be controlled. In order to assert control over her, and because she’s painted white, ie viewed favorably, the narcissist’s narcissism causes him to show an act of kindness by pouring her a drink of water and giving it to her. She expresses her thanks. Thus, she shows she’s under control and has provided him with some fuel. His act was not solely motivated by kindness. Indeed, the kindness isn’t genuine because he has no emotional empathy. The kind act and the belief that he’s being kind is the ruse, if you will, that the narcissism has used to compel him to do something towards her to pursue subconsciously the prime aims. Conversely, if she was painted black, ie viewed unfavourably, he might stand in front of her while she’s looking thirsty and perspiring and drink the last of the cold water from the fridge. That causes her to become exasperated. Her response demonstrates that she’s under control and provides him with negative fuel. Again, by undertaking an unkind act and believing that it’s justified, for instance, she in the past drank all the water which didn’t actually happen, but it’s another revision of history. The narcissist behaves in that fashion. You see, the narcissist doesn’t, where they’re unaware, sit down and think, how can I make this person’s life hell this week? They don’t sit in a hollowed out volcano going, like some Bond villain. In actual fact, their activity is Gauged by the fact that often they’re not even thinking about you because you’re not on the radar, and when you do, it’s governed by this twin track approach, the subconscious pursuit of the prime aims, overlaid with what the narcissism makes the narcissist think and feel in order to compel them to get it. And as I mentioned earlier, there are lots and lots of different ways that the narcissism will make the narcissist pursue subconsciously the prime aims. Accordingly that is how the unaware narcissist’s mind works. And it is absolutely axiomatic for you to grasp that concept to enable you to deal with the narcissist. Because once you understand that’s what’s going on, it makes a lot more sense. You can apply logic, and it becomes a lot easier to ensure that the impact of the narcissist’s behavior is lessened because you see it through this framework. I
