The concept of something being off limits means nothing to me. I am entitled to take what I want. That promotion at the office ? My name is already on the door. I won’t secure it by working hard. Oh no. I will take the credit for the endeavour of others. I will embark on a rigorous campaign to derail your own attempts to secure the advancement. Bought a new car which I regard as superior to mine. Not much good with the tyres slashed is it? Or strange how the police keep pulling you over on suspicion of drink driving isn’t it? Everything is a legitimate target to me. Everything is in play.
I will engage in repeatedly reckless behaviours to get what I want. I do not care whose lawn I park my tanks on, I go where I want. I will not respect your boundaries because I just do not see them. What I love to do most of all however is take something precious belonging to you. On the lesser end of the scale I will hide possessions which you value or I will break them. Naturally, I will blame someone else, usually you. The scale of hurt increases. I will worm my way into your friendship group and cause them to like me more than you by a combination of a charm offensive (call in the love bombers) and a carefully orchestrated smear campaign of nasty whispers (you’ll never guess what she said about you) with the ultimate aim of you being edged out of the group. I will then walk away from the group because I am really not interested in them, I just wanted to get at you. At the top of the tree is the forbidden fruit of stealing someone else’s partner. Often these people will be in a solid and decent relationship but such is the level of my charm, such is the attention to detail I apply in tracking my prey, it is just a question of time before I pull them away from you. I will wreck relationships. I will shatter marriages. All to feed my hunger. As ever, once I have drained the flesh and juices from the forbidden fruit, I shall discard it and leave a battered, empty husk as I move on to the next piece of low hanging fruit. Now you know what the serpent in the garden of Eden was. Me.
Following on from my illuminating discussion with my neighbour’s wife (she is called Fiona by the way) I decided that I needed to make my next move. We had discussed which gym she was a member of and that she liked to attend at 7am. This posed no problem as I am an early riser, I find the silence helps me think. I joined the gym that she had mentioned and paid for a year’s membership using the ex’s credit card. I made a note of the pertinent details before I sent her on her way. After the way she behaved it is the least she can do to pay for the membership. With that established I headed for the gym just before seven and spent some time warming up on the treadmill. Fiona arrived and spotted me and headed straight over. Honestly, sometimes it is just too easy. She hopped on the treadmill next to mine (I had ensured that two were free either side of me) and as she walked briskly we chatted.
I had spent some time going on line to learn about Dungeons and Dragons since she had mentioned she played it as a teenager. I also rang one of my nephews and pumped him for information as I know he plays it too. Armed with this information I asked if she was a thief or a fighter. She laughed and explained that she always played as a magic user since she was fascinated by magic and its effects. I listened as she went on about various spells she used in the game and then I steered it around to who she played the game with. She explained that she played with one of her brothers and his friends, all of whom were a couple of years older than her. Apparently, he had been bullied at school and she used this as a means of making friends, filling up part of her weekend and a form of escapism. I listened very carefully to all of this. It seems therefore that she felt vulnerable as a child and dealt with this by being whisked away to a fantasy land. Step this way Fiona, it is time for some deja vu!
I noticed the wife of my neighbour was outside doing some gardening. I had seen him leave earlier so my opportunity had arisen. I slipped out of the rear of my house and clambered over the fence and then ran around the block to arrive back at the front of the house to give the impression I had been out for a decent run. This meant I had to run across the front of her garden. There she was tending to one of the flower beds, knelt down, her bottom and calves defined through the material of her trousers. I halted in front of her and pretended to breathe hard. She immediately looked up and smiled before greeting me. She was attractive, more so now that I could see her close up.
Now, the key things to do in this initial meeting are to pay her a few compliments and gauge her reaction. The greater purpose however is the acquisition of intelligence. I began with praising her horticultural skills, then remarking how her keen gardening ability had not diminished how elegant her fingers were. She smiled and thanked me for both compliments. Note to self ; susceptible to compliments. I also asked if she ran and if not, how did she maintain such a terrific figure. She explained she had a gym membership and told me which one. I explained that I had one there too (I haven’t but by this afternoon I will have) and I managed to bluff from enough knowledge about the gym (garnered from others I know go there) to make it seem like I occasionally attended. I did add that I would probably go there more now that I knew she attended. This gained a coy smile. I was reeling her in. With sufficient compliments deployed I then listened intently as I asked repeated open questions to gather as much information as I could. Accordingly, I now know that she enjoys baking, her favourite food is Mexican, she enjoys swimming. She volunteers twice a week at a local school, reading to children who have learning difficulties. She doesn’t like live music but loves 80s pop and 90s dance music. She does not work, but used to, as a pa to an insurance executive. Her favourites book is Wuthering Heights and she has several favourites films including American Beauty, Pretty Woman, Scent of a Woman and Lord of the Rings. She used to play Dungeons and Dragons as a teenager.
She opened up like a freshly cut wound and the information poured from her. I have logged everything in my notebook, committing to paper all the information I gleaned. What is amazing is that I like all the things that she likes. It is fantastic. I will now be using this information to get far closer to her and then I will be able to ascertain the other side of her personality ; her fears and weaknesses. This will be similarly added to my armoury. First of all for me to exhibit sympathy and understanding and then to utilise as a weapon. It’s great being neighbourly isn’t it?