That Age Old Problem

Oscar Wilde mentioned in Dorian Gray that everything was possible since he had beauty and youth. I am very much of that mind set and accordingly the thought of becoming old fills me with revulsion. Horrifically I do not have to apply my imagination to this scenario (and to be frank I would not do so) because I need look no further than my Uncle Robert. He stands in front of the mirror and rants at the cruelty that is reflected back at him. His withered frame a reminder that he is no longer the uber mensch he has always maintained that he was. (He certainly seemed that way when I was a child. I do not remember the details but I do remember his stories about his adventures and achievements. They seemed spectacular and exotic. So tantalising). Now he realises that the charm which he once exuded has worn thin and does not have the allure it once had.

Every day brings a physical or mental insult and he realises that he is becoming a burden on those around him. He will not accept this transition with any grace. Indeed, he refers to his peers as old men but not ever himself. He regards himself as far younger, indeed, I often hear him repeating the things which I say. It is evident to me as the autumn of his life envelopes him that he wishes to remain reflected in my summer sun.

The tricks,the smoke and the mirrors that he once deployed with consummate expertise have deserted him or is it that a lifetime’s exposure to them have enabled those who were on the receiving end to create some kind of immunity to them ? Do they now see through the magic he once was able to weave about him? His deceit and bile are more evident that ever and I know he rarely receives visitors these days, they seem to think that there is little point in being subjected to his put-downs and insults.

His razor-sharp mind has become dulled, probably addled from the excessive alcohol he regularly indulged in (and probably still does) and the noble features have become craggy and distorted. He cannot summon the charm and sophistication to lure people into his world and instead has to rely on provocation, savageness and acidic accusations. His potency has been exhausted and try as he might to scramble away, he is sinking inexorably towards mediocrity and averageness.

I rarely see him but he regularly telephones me and I indulge him allowing him to rage down the telephone line about his injurious state arising from his dilapidated condition. It is worth listening as some of his fury contains choice, vintage lines which I write down for later use. Those barbed words when allied to my youthful charm and brilliance will work marvellously.

Uncle Robert never considered what would happen when madame time outstrode him and his current condition serves as a salutary lesson to our kind. Narcissists do not generally age well. Fortunately, I have been able to see into the future and I can ensure that I do not fall victim to Uncle Robert’s fate, but then, I have always been cleverer than him haven’t I?

14 thoughts on “That Age Old Problem

  1. NewHere says:

    My narc hasnt aged well…receding hairline, his hair feels like hay, weight gain, shrunken peen lol. We were engaged when I was 19 and he was 22 and reconnected 20 years later. During our early conversations he kept telling me I looked timeless & that he was working out and eating well so he could live long. He talked about it all the time.
    I often wondered if he was delusional about how he really looked. He was a shell of what I remembered him to be, depressed, a victim. Could that be because of his fears of aging and death?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Many narcissists (Lesser and Mid-Range) are delusional about their looks.

      1. Viol. says:

        God knows Wannabe Playuh-Narc has turned out to be so. I contacted an editor I worked with in NYC about a longtime celebrity who’d been accused of “acting inappropriately,” and asked, “Did he just pinch someone’s butt?” He replied that of course he had, reminding me how wild backstage antics could be until very recently. He added that that change in climate was sudden enough that WBPN was constantly “raging” about it in his texts until.thr Editor had to turn them off.

        Leaving aside for the moment the strong possibility that my editor was a Greater who manipulated both me and WBPN–a friend used to refer to him as “Loki,” and I was careful not to pick up on his mentioning WBPN when I replied, confining myself to recent celebrity me-too articles–it didn’t escape my notice, though it’s apparently escaped WBPN’s, that his declining encounters with enthusiasm when he tries to flirt with Sweet Young Things or pats their knees may have less to do with the change in culture than with the fact he is no longer that 20-something guy with the ponytail, the 3-day stubble, and the collection of plaid flannel shirts who could swagger around like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast, assuming he deserved the best, and finding numerous wistful Bimbettes who agreed with him.

  2. Sphere says:

    Of course, you have the super power of clairvoyance.

  3. W.E.B. says:

    so you ARE worried about getting old.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not at all. I stated the thought of being old fills me revulsion because of the effects on people such as my uncle but I am untroubled by it because I have much in my favour and have planned accordingly. Thus I know I will age but it will not trouble me.

  4. Happily Discarded says:

    I started to suspect my father was a narcissist several years ago.

    He went through a deep depression about 15 years ago. Although he looked much younger than his age, he had finally become an old man, not a “mature” one. He couldn’t charm the pants off younger, attractive women anymore.

    He was single for about 5 years and then turned to scamming older women for money. It’s rather grotesque and pathetic to watch. But I get why he does it. He’s out of options.

    So what’s your plan?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello HD, do you mean what is my plan in terms of aging? Firstly, old age is some considerable way off for me. Secondly, I know that as a consequence of my abilities which continues to hone and sharpen I will not be short of appliances around me. Thirdly, I am securing my legacy so that when I do shuffle off this mortal coil, I will live on. I have plenty of options.

      1. Happily Discarded says:

        Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. It was an interesting point to see you make, given how my father ended up.

        You seem confident you’ll avoid the same fate as your uncle so I was curious how you saw your future playing out.

      2. ST says:

        You would be wise to not be so sure of yourself. One major disaster or change in government can wipe out your financial security. One major health crisis can cut off all your reliable fuel.

        There is a better way and you are a smart man so you can find it.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You would be wise not to make such assumptions about me.

          My financial interests are not tied to one government and are sufficiently widespread to easily deal with a disaster.
          I would not experience a health crisis and even if that happened it would not cut off all my fuel, you do not understand the nature of my fuel matrix.

          Your condescension is palpable.

          1. ST says:

            HG, my intent was not to be condescending although I can see how that would come across as condescending to you.

            My intent was I see you as an intelligent, talented person who has the potential for a lot of good. Even what you are doing now is good, VERY good. So I think you can live out your life even more securely and successfully on a better path.

            I don’t think the path you are presently following is leading to a successful end and if you can take a little turning of the knife (not plunging) all I have to do is to point you to people like Ceausescu, Napoleon, the Romanovs, Vortigern, Puyi, and countless others from old times to present to show money, power, and fame can be knocked out from under your feet quickly.

            I don’t want to shake your confidence or batter your ego. Instead, I would like to see you gloriously shine in the end and I believe you can on a different path. You can rise even higher HG and I encourage you to do it.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            I am not like those you have mentioned, I am the Ultra and my way is different.

          3. ST says:

            HG, we both know your way is not different, but with that aside it is not just your way. If it were just your way, it would not matter so much, but it is the way you are dragging people unknowingly along with you. If your way was so good, you would not warn people about narcissim. You know it isn’t a good way.

            Maybe you don’t know how to get off this path, but HG you are smart, you can figure it out. I am confident of that. Your way leaves so much carnage, hurt, and destruction, and you are aware of that.

            You have one foot in a good way, you just need to get your other foot over the fence and you will really shine then like never before. You can be the good narcissist!!! That would bring you a lot of attention. You can keep the good qualities of narcissim and use them for the good instead of the bad.

            Anyway, just food for thought.

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