Dead Eyes

thCA57YNUEThe author Hilary Mantel once described the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, as being “a plastic princess with dead eyes”. Now, the duchess is not one of us (we infiltrated the royal family by marrying in over 30 years ago) but we were drawn to the comment about dead eyes. We get that a lot. There is a fascination about our eyes and if memory serves, they draw the most comments about us physically that I can recall. I have variously had mine described as “Cold and dead, like a shark’s”, “like pieces of coal”, “green and envious”, “possessing that cold, chilling stare” and “lifeless”. An ex-girlfriend, Kate, would tell me that she loved my eyes. This was when I was seducing her. She explained that whenever she looked into them she saw herself reflected back and she loved this because she knew that she was very much “in my eye”. Interestingly enough, eight months later she referred to this reflection as “I look into your eyes and see nothing there, just my reflection looking back at me.” I always disliked her contradictory behaviour and failure to make her mind up.

These comments set me thinking as I am a reflective kind of fellow. As I explained in ‘Falling into Place’ I have learned how to create a mask of feigned emotion but it would appear that the one part of my face which was letting down the façade  was my eyes. For some reason, no matter how hard I studied the emotions and reactions of others, this just did not happen with my eyes. As you know, I like to know the answers to everything and I did some reading around and observed that repeated people refer to the eyes as windows into the soul. There lay the answer to my conundrum; the soul and the eyes are inextricably linked. The absence of soul was being reflected in the deadening of my eyes. This required immediate attention and rectification. I now wear sunglasses a lot, even indoors.

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6 thoughts on “Dead Eyes”

  1. Wow… That’s it. Mine drew me in when we were in love bombing phase he would look into my eyes so intensely during sex it drove me crazy in a good way it went away after time I missed it sooo much. The intensity I loved his eyes at first but yes they had no love in them . ii didn’t know then what he was feeling when he looked in my eyes but I know now.

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  2. Dead eyes – yes, the narc who crossed my life path had them. Soulless, dead eyes.

    I wish I could post them here to show you. Maybe you could think of a way to include visual/photo material in the comments section of this blog?

    Interstingly, he was fascinated by MY eyes. He often told me how big, blue and beautiful he found them, how soulful and even ‘angelic’… it is true that I have been told very often that my eyes and look were my most outstandig feature, leading right into my inner-most soul. A could spend minutes looking into my eyes with his reptilian look, trying to find sth. he lacks of, trying to ‘cannibalise’ my soul through this avenue…

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    1. Hello Alice, I am not sure how one goes about posting a picture. Perhaps a link to them would work? You are correct that he would be looking to cannibalise parts of you to attach to himself as he stared into those big blue beauties. Maybe you could show us your eyes too?!

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  3. Interesting. I loved the color of his eyes. It’s kind of a fetish with me, eye color, eye gazing, especially during sex, so I loved looking into his eyes.

    It’s interesting that I tend to be a lurker, I need time in a given situation/context to be able to find my stride, but normally that’s not an issue sexually, I am usually in control and like it that way, but I was so hesitant with him, he was much harder to please. I suspect he was used to getting women to try harder, and he certainly had his share of partners.

    But I love watching someone’s face while I’m… Performing. It was the only time he dropped the facade and I felt like there was any moment of real connection with him, and it was always fleeting. But often repeated. He would catch me watching him, and he’d smile, and it always seem to both amuse and excite him more. But it was one of the rare times he truly looked fondly at me.

    I finally asked, you like to watch too. You like the power. He laughed and hugged me, and said yeah, I do.

    I’m still pondering the implications of that. I’m a happy and proud empath, but I wonder sometimes… And I wonder if that’s part of why I was so quickly discarded. I know what drove him away, but I’m not sure why things came to such an abrupt halt initially. It was a very weird experience.

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