The Placebo Effect

It is common for those of you who have done the dance with us to remark once enlightenment has cast its illumination into your mind that,

“It seemed so real, it seemed genuine, in the beginning before it all changed.”

Ah yes, the seduction, the love-bombing, the honeymoon or the golden period. Call it what you might, that period of time when everything was wonderful and rosy in the garden certainly seemed to be real enough didn’t it? The whispered words of love and affection certainly sounded genuine. The long hugs and hours enveloped in our arms appeared to be real. The ecstatic love-making felt wonderfully intense. Even now as you sit in a state of bewilderment and confusion, your fingers run over the gifts that we bought for you and you can still feel them. Surely they must be real too.

Yet for all the magnificent recall you can apply to the sounds and sensations of that initial period you now know that it was all an illusion. You may not have processed us from your system on an emotional level. Indeed, it is doubtful that you ever will, since that it is the way we are designed so that the Hoover will always remain in play. You have gained understanding though and your mind repeatedly tells you that it was not real, it was not genuine and it was an illusion. You are caught between the two states of knowing it was not real but then knowing what you felt, what you experienced and how your emotions were heightened. Therein lies the answer. It was how you felt. It was your perception that generated such wonderful sensations. You perceived that this acquaintance that you half-knew became the bearer of a perfect of love. You perceived that every text message that was received contained affection and longing. You perceived the burning glances of desire. You saw,heard and felt all of this because you wanted to.

In reality you were fed something that lacked substance and was not genuine. You were told that we would make you feel loved and adored and you therefore felt that you were loved and adored. You were told that we would make you feel special and wanted. You felt special and wanted. The pill that was us contained no potency, no medicine and no effects. It was your perception that created the golden sensations you experienced. Yet again you are no doubt saying to yourself as you read this that it felt so real. Of course it did, because you let it feel so real. You believed in its power so much that you created the feelings that you desperately wanted to experience. You were subjected to the placebo effect. We were no better at tackling depression, high blood pressure or anxiety than a pill made of sugar. Yet, as astounded medical experts have seen time and time again that supplying a patient with what they think is a treatment for pain but is in reality is just a sugar placebo pill produces an improvement in the patient’s level of pain. We do the same to you. We make you feel loved, wanted and adored. You are given a placebo however and your desire to experience those wonderful feelings drives you to experience them.

This may sound like it is your fault. In a way you have some culpability for engaging in the thinking that you did which produced such marvellous results. It perhaps now makes more sense as to why this period of wonderful feelings did not last because you were just fed the placebo. However, in the same way that a medical placebo effect takes place, because the good doctor tells you that this pill will lessen your depression so it does, you have been subjected to a similar fraud. We told you how marvellous you would feel and you did. We perpetrated the fraud against you and fed you placebo after placebo with the inevitable effect. The tragedy is that there is not a nocebo effect with us. The downside really was real. Just in case you wondered about that too.

10 thoughts on “The Placebo Effect

  1. Magda says:

    You forgot to mention how strong and addicting this golden period is and that’s why some of us volunteer to choose that instead of anything else ..

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You know how addictive it is Magda.

      1. Magda says:

        I do, indeed….

  2. survivednarc says:

    The placebo effect, yes! Very familiar feeling indeed, accurately described. The negative side effects were very real indeed, hmm, I thought placebo wasn’t supposed to hurt at all? 😉 Anyway, I think the real tragedy is, that we both could have helped each other, healed each other’s old wounds, had you let us. That’s tragic. Cause true love can really help people heal, and grow, is my belief. So you missed out on something great too. But, the upside is that we woke up and got the insight that we will be able to heal ourselves – and find true love at that!😊 All while you will still be a con artist who dupes people… Not meant to offend, I just think it’s tragic, what you choose.. But, I do believe that everyone (Even narcissists) has the ability to change and grow, if they choose to make a healing journey.. Anyway, how is the sessions going with your therapists? I miss those posts!☺

    1. malignnarc says:

      Hi Survivednarc, thanks for sharing your views. There will be more from my interactions with Drs E and O in due course. Keep reading!

      1. survivednarc says:

        Will do. Your blog is very good!☺ I shouldn’t give you narcissistic supply I guess, but nothing to be done about that, cause the blog really is good and interesting. 😊

        1. malignnarc says:

          Thanks for the kind words survivednarc, I would not be concerned about the fuel I get, it is all welcome of course, but as I do not know you, it is way down on the scale. Thank you for your postings and feel free to spread the word this blog.

  3. Alejandro says:

    If being an asshole classifies as being a “narc”…..Guess what? Half of the human population are narcs!
    Get over it and get a life you fucking losers trying to justify why people dumped your asses!
    “It’s them”….
    “They have personality disorders”…..
    “They manipulated me”…..
    How about they just dumped you cause they couldn’t put up with your shit anymore?
    Yes in the beginning every relationship is great (honeymoon stage) but years down the road, women feel like they can start bossing you around. The things she tolerated in the beginning, have now become “issues”, and guys feel like they don’t have to put up with that shit. “This is how I was when you met me!”
    A “narc”? I don’t think so……
    Specially once the ring goes on its like “Now I have this motherfucker!”
    What was great once, has now become a game of cops and robbers.
    “Let me see what I can pick on today to make this motherfuckers day miserable!”
    Keep reading your pathetic little blog to justify why a “narc” stood up for himself and left your ass cause he couldn’t take your shit anymore.
    Whatever helps you to stay the fuck away from me

    1. Vana says:


      You’re completely entitled to your opinion, but to be so intolerant, ignorant, hateful, and verbally abusive is uncalled for.

      Unless you’ve been involved with a ‘narc’, you wouldn’t get it. Perhaps YOU were the narc in the relationship? But then again, narcs usually don’t know they’re narcs.

  4. Mills53 says:

    The narc who was once in my life should take notes from you. he was a bad actor and It did not seem real. He would say I love you more than 10 times a day when he had only known me for a few weeks. I once asked him, “why do you love me?”
    Him: “because you have a job”
    me: “I don’t have a job, I have a career, but what happens if all that goes away?”
    Him: ” F, I’ll be gone”
    That’s the kind of answer I would expect from my 5 yr old niece not from a 41 yr old grown man.
    I have heard over and over that narcs are terrific in bed. Mine was the exception. I think he preferred men. Sex was so uncoordinated it was as if he was having an epileptic episode. The concept of foreplay was foreign to him. He would just grab lube or spit on my lady parts in an effort to speed things up. And he would go on for 5 hours and never finish. It was as if I was a blow up doll that only existed from the waist and below. I did not speak to him after the first time because I had made up my mind that something was wrong with this person. I just didn’t know what. Then a friend suggested I give him a second chance. After the second chance he still did the same thing. I told him, “I don’t enjoy sex with you. You are too rough, you do not take time to arouse me, and you last way too long. I am sore for a week each time we have sex.” To which he replied, “of course you should be sore , that way I know you are not sleeping with someone while I’m gone.” I told him, “I have been with men that were bigger than you, I have never needed lube before because they took time to turn me on and intercourse did not hurt. You are doing it wrong.” Apparently that criticism hurt him and he gave me the silent treatment. He came back as if nothing had happened. And then he started pushing for anal, to which I said Adios mf.
    I remember asking him what he brought to the table and he replied “sex”. I asked him besides sex , what else? And he replied, “women like you have everything and only need a man for sex.” I looked straight in his eyes and asked him, “are you not embarrassed that at 41, the only thing you bring to the table is bad sex?” he did not reply.
    I am still trying to figure out what I gained from this relationshit.

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