Tell Tale

We have cast you aside after subjecting you to a litany of abuse, mistreatment and the full horror of our manipulative and disorientating repertoire. You have your absolute all in the pursuit of what you believed to be our perfect love. You have endured humiliation, denigration and belittlement yet you still hung in there, desperate to cure and to heal. You wanted us so much that it hurt and it still does. Not only have we discarded you with a callous disregard for your welfare and sanity, we have added to the pain by parading our latest conquest for all the world to see. You are no longer the recipient of our burning desire. You have been removed from our grace and favour and a new beneficiary has been installed. The monument to our supposedly everlasting love has been razed to the ground and on that once sacred ground we have erected a new edifice, lauding our new, shinier and much improved interest. What was once promised as lasting forever has been smashed into pieces and erased from the history books.

Your hurt, anger and indignation are tangible. The traitorous behaviour we have subjected to you has torn you apart. It is awful enough that after everything you have done, everything you have given and everything that you have endured, you have been struck from the record. The insult has been magnified and multiplied by reason of our infatuation with your replacement. How dare we do this to you. It is utterly unfair.

Your desire for retribution is immense. You want to cause our come uppance and warn the world about the monster that you see us as. You feel that all must be told about the awful toll that you have taken from our treatment but greater than that, you have that irresistible sense of needing to protect and warn. The empathic nature that made you such an attractive target to us has survived notwithstanding the mauling we have given you. You need to save our conquest from what you have been put through. Not only must you rescue the poor innocent from our toxic touch this will enable you to exact a delicious revenge on us. By taking away the thing that we crave, you know that triumph awaits. Our fresh acquisition may work out what has happened, but that will take too long. No, you owe it to her and you owe it yourself to intervene, to educate and warn. It is time to expose us for what you say we are.

You call us for the perfidious behaviour that we have engaged in. You decry our stories of your hysterical and unreasonable behaviour and yet here you are, ready to spread such lies about us to our new love. You hold yourself out as being a person of good nature and compassion yet you are hell bent on ruining our new-found happiness. You were not good enough for us. You let us down and thus you had to be moved to one side replaced. Out with the old and in with the new. That is the natural order of events. The appliance does not work anymore, therefore a new, faster and more effective appliance must be brought to the fore and installed. Why complain about that? Had you been fit for purpose you would still be the object of our affection, but you failed. We gave you every chance and yet you still came up wanting. You are to blame. You only have yourself to blame. Yet, exhibiting the malice that you laughingly accuse us of you go running to our new interest and tell tales about us.

Your poison-laden tongue weaves its malevolent words as you whisper fabricated stories in order to discourage our new love from remaining with us. Do you not understand that this is the very reason why we had to let you go. We tried. We really did, but you would insist on railing against us and not submitting to our will. There was no hope for it other than yo remove you from our lives. As people of substance and rigour, we have not gone with our tales of lament to others, seeking to draw sympathy from them. No, that is not for us. We chalked off our time with you as a mistake and we learn from it. Now we have found someone better. So what that we moved with what you regard as unseemly haste, we are entitled to drive forward. You should take heed of our capability in that regard, instead of remaining mired in what might have been. Imprisoning yourself in a tomb of melancholy is not the way of progress. This only underlines our superiority to you. We have moved on. If you cannot, then that is your problem and not ours.

We act with honour and do not stoop to your level. We know that our character speaks for itself with this new person. We allow them to make their own mind up and the extensive groundwork which we put in place has ensured that this person is impervious to your unsavoury behaviour. We know that our impregnable façade of magnificence cannot be pierced by your savage and twisted lies. Run to our new love, run to them and seek to pour your poison in their ears and we shall watch smiling as they turn to you and shake their head. They are immune to your campaign of smears. They know that we are truly wonderful and that you had your chance but you destroyed what we had as a consequence of your quite frankly unhinged conduct. She tells you how magnificently I treat her and you try to explain how it was like that for you in the beginning but your words are lost in translation. You are told that your jealousy has skewed your outlook, that your paranoia has warped your view of the world. Your craziness has been well documented. We have done the protecting. We have done the warning and as always we got in first.

Tell your tales but all you do is reinforce our brilliance and the reason we were oh so right to be rid of you. Nobody likes a tell tale. Nobody likes you.

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31 thoughts on “Tell Tale”

  1. Great article HG.

    So lucky for me I didn’t do any of that stuff but of course I can’t control what he said about me, neither do I know exactly. Only the things you and others write about so it’s largely guess work on my part.

    But I did go back to the environment after a period of NC and just carried on like nothing had happened.

    But I’m interested to know the best way to avoid this in the future. Not from a dating perspective As that definitely is not a problem.

    But I had a history of N female friends over the years. No more. But avoiding in the workplace etc

    What would you recommend ?

    I can’t do grey rock as I’m quite an outgoing person ? But not nasty to anyone or about anyone.

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  2. Mind blowing how evil you and your kind really are. Sick twisted crazy beyond. But still good post. Wonder why my narc has not posted anything NEW as yet. Been a while, what do you think the reason would be? Cause I am not going to try and safe no one from him, I saved myself and that takes all my energy, do not have the time or even in the mood for crazyness anymore. What do you mean by well documented like keeping mails and so on ?

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    1. Thank you. By well documented I mean it is recorded on repeated occasions, so yes, keeping e-mails and texts (or rather showing them out of context) applies. When you write about your narc not posting anything new as yet, in what context do you mean? Do you mean on his or your social media for example?

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  3. It’s so horrible that your kind can continue to repeat this process time and time again. Just wish you’d set up your own colony of your kind and stay there and leave the kind caring people to have a nice life. We only get one life and when my kind meet your kind you steal big chunks of it.
    Here’s hoping my ex ends up lonely and without fuel.

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    1. Yes on his social media, or is he not ready to reveal as yet. But I think my narc has many so maybe that is why he is not posting anything. ???

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  4. Oh so true. Funny, when all along it is but the narcissist who tells such lies and tales of their empath. “Our short comings”, are actually their greatest fears coming true. That indeed I was ENOUGH, they just couldn’t suffocate and control you anymore. For the empath now in-turn becomes a threat to the narcissist … revealing that they are actually the one’s who are not enough! And any great calculator nows he/she must remove the threat before the truth is really revealed. But we all know that truth always prevails! Thus, the narcissist must always seek supply with many degrees of separation. So that , their paths do not cross. I just chose to sit back and watch his predicable behavior. As he tells the same story over and over, and history repeats itself. He’s not happy. He’s stuck. He thinks he’s winning. He’s only dying a slow death. It’s really quite sad to see someone you care about so much destroy their own happiness. I’m finally able to see him for what he is. I can finally stand back in my own sick pleasure and laugh because I at least have a soul, have empathy, can truly feel happiness, and know my LOVE is a gift. And one he will never get to experience. He is actually his own worst enemy. Time will reveal the truth. I wish him well.

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    1. I feel right into the trap of making myself look like everything he noted. In reality, I know the hell she is suffering and it makes me laugh. He will never change, wherever he goes there he is. His other ex wife thought we should throw his new fiancé a bachelorette party…

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  5. Katherine
    How long have you been narc free? It’s 6 mths for me in the first 3 mths he got engaged and married and totally cut me off like I don’t exist. Finding things very difficult. But the people posting on here are a great help to me. Hope it’s not long before I get to the point you’re at 😊

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    1. I’m in the same boat, he got engaged the day our divorce was final. His new supply changed her FB status to in a relationship with my husband at the time he day I filed. He had already secured his new supply and deep down I knew it. That is why I filed. This is all nuts! He has cut me off like I never existed. The more I read the more pissed off I get as it is just confirming the unthinkable.

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  6. I have never been a discard but nevertheless when I have left my heart has been anyway totally shattered and broken. Not only to that I have had to suffer smear campaigns after leaving . Putting family, friends and even working colleagues against me by playing the victim.
    So the last thing that has ever crossed my mind is to tell the new girl about their evilness. I feel sorry for them but I have to say for me its a relief the new girl. But not even by doing the contrary I am free of their backlash. My ex just came back from I suppose 3 wonderful weeks vacations in Cuba with his gf, where I wished him several times a good trip. I know he is terrified on flying and everytime he was taking off he was texting me and I was texting him back to enjoy.. But anyway, gf, trip, whatever he never missed the opportunity to attack me. Friday he destroyed my beloved piano that he had given me as a gift. I have cried and not slept the night.
    Why this HG?? What do I have to do that he stops attackikg me? Maybe If I create drama in his life and tell tale his new girl will give him enough fuel to leave me alone?? Is this how it works??
    Im confused… And sad 😢. After a very nice weekend yesterday today its a nightmare. He has been calling the whole morning and I have not taken the phone… Its so energy draining 😓😓😢

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    1. I have dealt with the piano point in a separate post. You are handling the new girl in the right way. Don’t warn them, they will not believe you and all you are doing is creating fuel. You don’t owe the new girl anything, perhaps the only thing you might do is send her a link to this blog!! Why did you respond to his text messages? You know that gave him fuel. What do you have to do to stop him attacking you? Read Escape and put into place the methods described there. Don’t give him fuel, that means removing or limiting any interaction or reaction. Indifference to us is mortifying.

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  7. Buy the way HG. excellent article you are such a gifted writter. Excellent blog, excellent books… Cant wait for all the coming books and to still read all the ones I bought 😂. Take the little fuel because in this aspect you very well deserve it.

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  8. Survivor
    I’m going through he’ll to, but Katherine sums it up we are good enough. In fact were too good.
    Hope we can all find ourselves again soon.
    Take care x

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  9. You are right. You are a master of ensnaring your next victim. Even in the face of blatant abuse the next one will explain it away. My greatest lesson learned was that I can only save myself. She doesn’t realize it yet… her eyes still light up when she speaks your name. I want to destroy her as much as I want to destroy you… but you will do my dirty work for me. In the end she will be left in the same ash heap as me and you will still be the same; never satisfied always looking for the next best thing. You never grow tired of it, do you?

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  10. That’s exactly how I feel Angel. Want to destroy them both. Then other days I feel sorry for her knowing he may make her feel like I do right now.

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  11. I was discarded for the other woman in the most cruel way possible. I was pregnant with our first child at the time. It was a nightmare. I moved home to Texas to have the baby, file for a divorce and start over. He never stopped harassing me even after I moved back to Texas. Nonstop calls. If I wouldn’t take his calls, he would drive down and show up on my doorstep. After he had tortured me with his cruel words, he would go home to his new woman. I have healed from the whole horrible mess, but to this day, he will call me out of the blue just to brag about how well he is doing in his career. He will ask me if I remember all the good times we had and the places we traveled to. He will ask me if I am in a relationship with anyone. He is a piece of work.

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  12. I’m currently separating from my Narc. I plan on downloading escape today…I can’t stop reading you, you deliciously evil genius! I’ve maintained no contact, resulting in smear campaigns galore! We have 8 month old twin babies together and he is using them against me, has gotten custody removed from me and given to my mother…all to hurt me. He’s set to prove that I’m an unfit mother with tons of problems, I turned to the bottle to deal with the pain, the bottle he constantly supplied, and now it’s biting me in the behind. He has a very bad drug and alcohol problem, but because I was in treatment for it already, he had a little truth to his claims, truth that he embellished QUITE a bit. Since he doesn’t see any fault in himself, he denies denies denies. Is there anything in Escape or any words of advice in dealing with the lengthy court processes I have ahead of me?

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    1. Hello BD, whilst court processes are not mentioned specifically the various behaviours set out in Manipulated and the Devil’s Toolkit will be used against you during the court process. You will be triangulated with your lawyer, his lawyer, court officials in order to suck up to them and make you look like the histrionic, alcoholic he has made you appear to be. Through his attorney he will deploy circular arguments for example by never answering questions properly, going over old ground, raising points again and so forth. Much like how a lawyer reviews the facts and then plucks the relevant legal cause of action from the information, you will need to be able to identify the manipulation that is being used and then you can use the techniques described in Escape to counter the relevant manipulation. You would also do well to ensure that “your side” accepts what he is and understands what this means, because you are going to need their help in this process ahead. As ever, remain emotion free (this is hard to do in the cauldron of court proceedings) but this is necessary, he has taken this step,to bring about litigation because the drama and heightened emotions associated with such a process form a feeding ground for our kind. Know this and neutralise this. You also need to school your side in this as well. Your attorney must not write letters stating “We are amazed/surprised/astonished/dismayed at your client’s assertions” That provides fuel. Instead he or she ought to write “Your client’s position is noted. It is not accepted.Our client’s position is as follows (etc etc). Our client’s proposals are (x y and z), you have until 4pm on Friday to confirm acceptance otherwise this correspondence will be brought to the judge’s attention.” His attorney will be persuaded to write in emotive terms with hyperbole, adjectival additions and so forth to make you react. Before you respond to any correspondence,message or e-mail think about how you would feel if it was read out in 3 months’ time in front of an impartial court room. This is usually a good test to take the emotion and heat from your responses. Many people fire back an instant bristling response and then cringe when it is read out in court months later. Do the reading so you understand and any more questions, do come back to me.

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      1. Thanks H.G. I will do some reading and let you know if I have any further questions!

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    2. Hello BD, whilst court processes are not mentioned specifically the various behaviours set our in Manipulated and the Devil’s Toolkit will be used against you during the

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  13. My ex let our son down for getting to school today and for once texted to let me know. He was texting me from his new conquests home, where he took our son last night for dinner. I knew he was which her because a. he texted; b. he was a little cheeky and playful and I remember the same thing from when we started dating; c. the emphasis was on ‘where do you think I am?’. Thanks to your blog, HG, I was able to text back confirming he was a free agent, that I wish him happiness and a reminder to try not to neglect his son. He didn’t reply to that. I hope he’d been trying to prove my insanity and obsession and that she was party to the messages but even if not, he won’t be feeling too chuffed 🙂 HG, he will be spitting nails at your work here if he ever reads you and I hope other abusive partners can come to see they are just small insignificant fry compared to you. I am forever grateful to you for doing this and VERY glad to have found you! And I’m starting on your books as soon as I can choose which one or two to read first.

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    1. Well played Seanstoirm your texted reply will have wounded him. Thank you for your kind words, they are much appreciated. Yes, dive in to the books in order to take your learning to a further level. I think Fuel or Manipulated make decent starting points when you have a general understanding of the narcissistic dynamic as you clearly have.

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  14. Thank you, I will definitely try Manipulated, it interested me from the beginning. And I think, Escape too but I will read alongside Fuel as you recommend. Wow you ARE persuasive HG! 😉

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