The Twenty Allegations of Exaggeration

 

 

 

We would struggle without those twin helpers of exaggeration and embellishment as we make our mediocre achievements impressive and our decent accomplishments spectacular. Good for all occasions, a healthy and liberal sprinkling of exaggeration makes us far more appealing and alluring. Embellishing what I have done ensures I look far better than you and means that I remain the superior individual. Like salt and pepper at meal times, exaggeration and embellishment are never far from our kind. We make everything bigger, better, bolder, brighter and more brilliant. We love to magnify and multiply in order to convey just how great we are, yet, generous souls that our kind are it would not be fair if we did not allow you an opportunity to be seen to exaggerate and embellish, to make a mountain out of a mole hill and blow things out of proportion. Of course, when we provide this opportunity to you, it has none of the self-aggrandizing effects of our behaviour for ourselves but it used as an opportunity to make you see hysterical, unreliable and someone who is trying to pin the blame on us unfairly. We use exaggeration to inflate what we are but also as a means of attacking you. Here are twenty examples of using exaggeration and embellishment to undermine you.

 

  1. You are hypersensitive
  2. You are over-thinking what has happened
  3. You read too much into what I say
  4. You are paranoid
  5. You are seeing things which are not there
  6. You are making that up
  7. You have to be melodramatic don’t you?
  8. You aren’t that ill really.
  9. You are over-reacting.
  10. You are making a fuss over nothing.
  11. You have lost your sense of perspective.
  12. You take things too far at times
  13. You are going over the top with this now
  14. You press the panic button too soon
  15. You are making something out of nothing
  16. You are responding in a disproportionate manner
  17. You are getting over excited about this
  18. You are losing your sense of proportion
  19. You are putting two and two together and making eight
  20. You are jumping to conclusions

 

When you hear these comments being made by us, you should become aware that we are using such a comment to deflect what you are saying by trying to trivialise it by suggesting you are exaggerating its effect or importance. The use of phrases such as these are stock tells by us that you have landed a blow against us and we need to reduce its impact promptly. The easiest way to do this is to not only diminish the import of what you have said but then to make you question your own behaviour by making the conversation about you, rather than us. This will also provoke you by frustrating you. You are being denied the opportunity to advance your agenda and this will increase your emotional response. This not only gives us fuel, it also means that you lose sight of your point as you are derailed by conducting the discussion in a logical fashion as you are pushed by us into the territory of emotion. Once emotion has taken hold of your thinking we are far abler to exploit this to our advantage. Recognise these comments and understand their significance when you are engaging with our kind so you are able to withdraw from or neutralise their effect.

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29 thoughts on “The Twenty Allegations of Exaggeration”

  1. On Mon, May 23, 2016, 11:58 AM Knowing the Narcissist wrote:

    > malignnarc posted: ” We would struggle without those twin helpers of > exaggeration and embellishment as we make our mediocre achievements > impressive and our decent accomplishments spectacular. Good for all > occasions, a healthy and liberal sprinkling of exagg” >

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  2. Good advise in the last sentence. How do we neutralize? One effective way to do this is to respond with ” I am not feeling ( insert the accusation ( the projected trait). Ex: ” I am not feeling hyper-sensitive” ect ect ect and follow through with a withdrawl from the destructive dynamic. This can allow your own empowerment to surface, by where you have clarity within your own self awareness. Thank you for posting my comment on” Decisions,Decisions”

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  3. Hmmmm yes true. Lots of exaggerations from Ns side.. 11 and 20 I had to hear several times ALTHOUGH I was just starting to say something. Not yet completed my sentence and it was alredy a conclusion 😂😂😂. I choose to laugh about it 😘. Again thanks for the tips.
    EXCELLENT all these list. Its all so exact but also impressive that its all over the same for everybody .😨😱

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  4. I’ve got a couple doozies. “You get what you give”. What the HELL does that mean? And the daily “You just don’t get it”. So happy to be done with that nonsense.

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    1. This is the intrapersonal dialogue that narcissism creates. In other words, ” I am giving you what I perceive to have gotten” and ” I just don’t get it and that terrifies me”

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      1. THAT’s what they mean? Oh my word.
        Well, I guess it IS all about them so it makes perfect sense.
        These phrases are used during the most inane conversations. That’s why it was always so bizarre to me.
        And the “You just don’t get it” would be the end of the conversation. WHAT? What don’t I get???? The level of frustration, omg. Flashbacks to feeling like my head’s going to blow off my body….

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      2. Hello Jules Mermaid. I hope this finds you well. In part yes, these can be the deeper meanings behind the attempt to degrade another and are expressions of being out control emotionally, hence the need to control. This is projective identification, of which narcissism pivots from. Yes, flashbacks to the abuse can be such a painful part of navigating your way to health. What were some of the ways in which you supported yourself through that?

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      3. For some reason WP didn’t have a reply button for you but this is for your follow-up from today 24th.

        I think it’s absolutely crucial to have your support system in place. I was lucky in that my friends and family already hated him. My friends have been invaluable. Like my very own little body guards. I would never give these two up – even though he tried his darnedest. All the rest did go by the way side, sadly. Anyway, these two don’t let me go anywhere alone unless it’s Drs. or grocery – the small stuff. It’s protection, encouragement, it’s everything to me.

        Even today (yes, I still have frequent panic attacks, PTSD and doubts about who I really am) I received this text from body guard #1: “NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! Except that piece of s@#T xxxxx did a number on you!! You listened to his condescending cruel evil poison for long enough that he got down to the core of who you are. That is why I hate him with every cell of my being. He took a beautiful strong brilliant joyful lady and broke her down. AND THAT PI$$ES ME OFF!”

        7 yrs and I could not have done this alone. Oh I went through times of sending the teary emails but friends and my daughter made me see what a pitiful troll he really is. Not the make-believe super snowflake he pretends to be. I still have moments but not nearly as many. Survival. That’s what it’s all about, right? Researching this disorder of theirs, I’ve learned so much. And HG has been invaluable. Oh and busy…..busy, busy, busy. I don’t have time to fall apart (much). It’s awesome.

        I hope you’re doing well. How long (if at all) has it been for you?

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  5. You say you project these or similar statements when we have landed a blow to you. By I thought that can only happen if a criticism is delivered in an emotionless way? I’d say 90% of my communication has included me on the receiving end of one of these. Is it safe to say I can take some comfort that I’m getting under his skin and landing some blows that I know his true nature?

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    1. Yes that is one of the reasons we do it because you have criticised us in someway in an emotion free manner, often you wont know that you have done it as much criticism is perceived. Most likely, you have.

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      1. Yeahh.. it was the most surprising thing. When i tried to express him what feelings/emotions his actions provoked in me, he -surprisingly!- perceived it as criticism .. although it was not at all as i used an “I feel this…” message.
        And in those moments he became aggressive trying to accuse me in something and to show that it s all my fault.
        Although the healthy reaction would be: ” ok. I have understood u feel this of i do this. Lets see what i can do to change it to the purpose u get another emotions”. This answer never took place..

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      2. I read a recent article that when a psychopath tries to make you doubt your intuition, it means your intuition was causing them trouble. They will then seek to destroy this threat that can damage their illusion of normalcy to the world. When they begin playing mind games with you, it’s actually a strange, indirect tribute to your ability to notice that something was “off” about them.
        Would you say that is fair? When you seek to punish for their “treachery” and “failing” you. Is it more because they are catching on to you behind the mask?

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      3. I think it is fair to say that there is force in this proposition since our desire to confuse and twist your thinking arises as both a method of drawing fuel and also as a defence mechanism.

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  6. Hello HG

    I’m falling in love with myself the more I read your articles

    Don’t stop!

    “It was never just creation of my mind”

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  7. Dear defective person, do u consider urself as a MC only or a psychopath as well?

    Did u study the topic what is the principal difference between psychopath, sociopath and MN? Thanks

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      1. Dear defective person, as u said in the post before: “I have been labelled as a narcissistic sociopath. Thank the good doctors for that.”

        So do u agree with this label? Does it reflect who u r?

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      2. Ah that label. Do I agree with it? Who am I to question the learned doctors? I am aware enough, through my own resources and the good offices of the doctors, that this would appear to be the correct label based on my behaviours and responses. If that is what Iam to be referred to, so be it. It is accurate in accordance with the mind set that looks at someone like me in that particular way.

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  8. i put 2 and 2 together and took off his mask.. now i bet i got under his skin.. what will happen now hg…

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  9. My personal fave…. “There you go with that revisionist history bullshit again–(blah blah blah)”

    When my Np T-1000 blares that one out, I know I’ve hit a nerve. Bam. Since becoming aware that being thrown at me is nothing but projection and blame, I just go quiet and smile. He hates that. Has no idea why I am smiling. Unsettles the shit out of him.

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