61 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 215”

  1. We mask until we feel safe not to?
    As an empath I can create a safe space to unmask. That’s my ⛽️.

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  2. You don’t do happy. Think of all the happy you don’t get…..
    Happy meal, happy birthday, happy Christmas, happy days, happy home, happy wife, happy life, happy fun drink, happy happy joy joy, happy ending, happy face, happy fun ball, happy jack, happy anniversary, (shiny) happy people, happy childhood, happy as a clam, happy hour, happy-go-lucky, happy outcome, happy dreams and lastly you cannot sing Happy by Pharell.
    That’s alot of happy you’re missing, your pick though, if it makes you happy. β˜†β™‘

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    1. Garbage meal, gain fuel, gain fuel, dross programme, fuelling home, fuelling IPPS, filled and successful life, drink is drink, no need for it, achieve successful outcome anyway, can fake it, gain fuel, no idea what that is, gain fuel, irritating song, best forgotten and done now, way above a clam, can still benefit from the drinks promotion, moronic, fuelled outcome, don’t dream and no desire to sing that overplayed song.

      Not missing anything.

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      1. Well I must agree with garbage meal. You don’t dream HG? Have you ever? The five plus years I was with my Narc I didn’t dream at all. Not sure there is any real connection, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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      2. Same with my recent ex narcissist. He also slept only 4ish hours. I think these two Details are related. REM related.

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      3. He was always fascinated with knowing my dreams, especially the ones about him. I felt like I had been interrogated at times. He always knew when I was keeping a detail out.

        It was the same way when we would go exploring and come across an old cemetery, old buildings etc, he always wanted to know what I was feeling.

        Have you ever questioned anyone like this before? If so what was the reasoning behind. If not would you have an idea as to the reasoning behind.

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      4. HG, I can understand when you say you are not missing anything because it is not possible to miss something we haven’t experience before or something which is unknown to us and we don’t know how it feels.
        Anna Belle wrote “happy life” and you replied “filled and successful life”. I think they are two different things. The inner feeling of true happiness or contentment is not something you have to work (hard) for. You do not have to do anything. It is there, inside of you.
        I think it will be possible for you to be able to experience true happiness or contentment someday considering your therapeutic work and the plasticity of the brain.

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    2. Come on ABB can he have the happy meal ( garbage meal ) 😊and happy hour😁. Happy Hour is not happy hours without a narc we need entertainment they are the best karaoke singers and their stories about how they once signed with the largest recording companies but left to pursue a position as a community servant.

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    3. At least HG gets something out of those things, as I can’t remember anything happy about what you’ve listed in my life.

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      1. Ava101,
        I’m so sorry to hear you haven’t had any happiness out of what I listed. The reason I wrote that was for humor in it. It’s hard to express that on here with only words and no vocal inflections or mannerisms. Who really gets happiness out of a happy meal but maybe a 5 year old. REM sang about shiny happy people, it’s just a song as is Pharrells Happy, it can make you happy, be overplayed until you grow to loathe it. My thought behind it is happiness is around in some small and big ways. It can be fleeting to any one of us. HG does not do happy and I understand that. I was teasing him. You can see that in the last sentence. He doesn’t like to be teased I don’t think. Maybe he sees it as criticism, I don’t know. However, my intention is to not make you reflect that you’ve haven’t had happiness out of those things or HG either. I want everyone here to be happy in whatever way they choose. Ithe makes me sad that some can’t feel happiness. Maybe I should just write comments with the base of what I mean with no flare. They would be gray rock and unemotional but at least nobody would be harmed. It would be hard for me to do too as I am very extroverted and outspoken. I hope you have some happy ava101, today and everyday.

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      2. ABB (and anyone else who feels limited by the opinions and thoughts of others in speaking out):

        You do not have to alter anything. I want to hear what people want to say, whatever that may be, and not what they think others want to hear. What would be the point of that? Hasnt there been enough control or lack thereof, and the reason most are here? People may not agree with things that are said and you have to accept that people will respond, (not always favourably), but never let anyone take your voice.

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    4. Anna Belle,
      Your message came across clearly πŸ™‚ Being funny and having a sense of humour can’t hurt anyone πŸ˜‰

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    1. Yes, reminds me of the shiny, foil wrapped chocolate, hollow bunnies all around for Easter now. Sweet veneer, but empty underneath.

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  3. This is funny! I couldnt work out why he never smiled in our family photos, everyone else was happy, but never him. I asked him why dont you look happy? Are you unhappy? Haha im sure if he was ever forced to smile and “look happy” he would look just like this:)

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  4. For me, ‘happy’ is the feeling of genuine joy in the moment, derived from simple things… without manipulation, fuel or anything artificial… just a very deep, peaceful feeling, a sense of connection to another living being… watching a baby laugh without a care in the world, being woken by birds singing at the break of dawn, cooking a loved-one’s favourite meal… etc.

    You think that you are not missing anything, and that you function well. True, you function. But I don’t think that you truly grasp what you are missing… you needed to try first what it feels like to have emotions to see the difference, HG.

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  5. I could tell the happy mask from genuine smile. The latter existed in my ex though very rare. Once in fact. I captured it once in a photo. His relatives all said they had never seen that real smile. They said he was usually miserable or detached completely or forced. I’m grateful of that brief real smile, as in 2 years I’d only seen once. He existed inside and I knew it, it was the one I knew I loved. Too bad that his masks won. I too used masks as a kid, to stay safe and detached.

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  6. He told me once that even when he suffers inside, he loves life and to make people laugh (people find him really funny) and to smile (fuel I guess?) But I see photos of him and his eyes look full of deep wounds and hurt. He never looks genuinely grounded and happy. The kind of happy and smile that people have when they are deeply aligned with who they are inside and are at peace and the smile comes from deep inside. He is never smiling like that. Even when he is with his kids in pictures, he never seems genuinely happy. He looks hurt and like he is suffering deeply. But smiling and laughing the whole way.

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  7. I get these to my email but only the pictures come up. I can only see the picture. Any advice welcome as would like to read these HG.

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  8. I watched an episode of ” evil lives here” which im really enjoying and hits narcissism (psychotic) on the nail. It is a family member who goes on to tell a story about their psychotic family member recounting events and signs that lead up to them finding out that this person in their life was seriously deranged.
    In this one episode it broke my heart bc i seen the making of a child being broken to the point she can no longer cry in life or express her feelings. Her dad raised her and her sister and hed beat her and continue if she kept trying. At one point wrapping her up in sheets and attempting to smother her. She remembered him giving her, her sister and a friend hot cocoa which had drugs in it and touching her as she supposedly slept. The real clincher at the end was finding out he was a serial killer on the news and his victims all looked like her and her sister.
    He portrayed the perfect father on the outside making sure they looked well kept but they rarely had decent food to eat and endured terrible abuse.
    As she told of her childhood you could see she was void of emotion and she admitted to a point where a switch turned off and never turned back on again. She can no longer express her feelings like normal people. She just feels numb and void of this.
    I think abusive narc parents dont need to be psychopathic to have this same effect on their children. They break something very sacred in humans which is true emotion. In my narcs own words “children deserve the best” and i agree wholeheartedly bc they are the foundation to their adulthood.

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    1. Hello EH! I was curious about that ID Discovery show and tried to pull that episode on demand but that one isn’t available yet. I tried watching another episode. A mother and daughter talking about their monster of a husband / father. But for the wife, it started as a Prince Charming live story so she kept overlooking the red flags. Can’t even tell you what he ended up doing. Couldn’t even make it thru when the daughter’s interview started and she spoke of the abuse. Too gut wrenching.
      Children do deserve the best. I think that’s why even amongst a lot of criminals, there is a code to leave innocent children alone. For instance when a pedophile priest gets thrown in prison and doesn’t make it out alive. Sadly the parents who should see these shows and the impact and damage their abuse causes, never do or would never think they are in that category.

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      1. It sounds like the same show I watched. Black family. He frightened the daughter continuously. The wife knew he had sex addiction from the beginning. She looked like an idiot letting the stuff go that she did, but she mentioned he was good looking and his family was the first black family around there to own their own home and they had 2 cars. Hmmm wonder why she “overlooked” things. And it turns out he was killing people while she kept looking the other way. So now people are dead and her daughter is messed up cause she wouldn’t take her head out of her ass or give up her status. She would go to work and the kid would page her code 911 and tell her he was storming around the house with a ski mask on and muttering etc. Then later the police are in the neighbourhood because neighbour jumped out her window due to invader in mask. Umm yeah….id stay there with my kid. Shed still be there if he wasnt caught by police. I dont know why I watch these shows (actual cases). By the end of the show I wanted to hurt her myself for being so weak (my Narc side comes out and I understand their disgust). Just makes me hate the women more cause they wont protect their children. If there is such a thing as love shouldnt that be the strongest bond? I hear women say all the time they love their kids so much theyd kill for them. Apparently not-usually they wont even leave an abuser for them. But it sure sounds righteous throwing that line around and saying things to me like: you wouldn’t understand because you dont have kids, doesnt it? They have no idea who theyre talking to. All I ever say back to them is: Talk is cheap. When the chips are down-prove it. Yeah, Im the one thats messed up cause I want to shake women out of their fog. I dont do coddle. Children are ignored and people destroyed while they take time to process and whatever other horseshit they tell themselves in order to stay. If you found out your husband was a pedophile would you wait around with your children until you could “process” things. Didnt think so. Witnessing violence and the degradation of a parent they love can be just as damaging. Leave. Just fkg do it. No excuses.

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      2. I did go back and finish that episode. It was the same one I started to watch the other day. Omg! I was shocked when her daughter was kept home from school the day the dad was acting completely erratic and she was paging her mom. Mom tells her to just go in her room? Are you kidding me? There would be skid marks in the parking lot driving home to my daughter. I was surprised she was oblivious to so much of the emotional abuse with her daughter. I was pretty creeped out when the mother-in-law abruptly pulled away from her son when he went to hug her. Huge telltale sign.
        One parent can love their kid enough for two. You have to protect your kids over a relationship.

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