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16 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 241”
Normals are just as blind as narcissists, if not more.
Normals are blind. I avoid them when possible.
Actually most of my closest friends did. I was surprised. Some of them even knew what he was at the beginning and kept quiet for the sake of our friendship. They thought it would end this way and simply resolved to be there for me when it broke down. They live all over the country so we didn’t see them too often in person. I think he was actually terrified of them because I hold them in such high regard. I’ve known most of them for over 20 years; we are like family. And some of our mutual friends who live locally, and to whom I’m also very close, they only bothered with him because I was with him. I cherish my friendships. He never has. He only uses people, and they cottoned on to him. He’s a mid-range Malcolm so is not as adept at maintaining the facade over time.
He has deleted my friends/mutuals who knew what he was and is busy reinventing himself. (Blaming me of course for poisoning their minds against him. You know, because these people are so utterly incapable of having opinions all of their very own haha). His newer friends and his Facebook brethren think he’s wonderful. I think they are entirely welcome to him 😀
Everyone is in awe of him, and every girl in the office hates me. He did a ‘great’ job …
Hello, Mr. Tudor. This is my first letter to you.. I’m so nervous that I wrote a draft first. I have been planning, dreaming and fearing posting here for over a year. I come here everyday, several times a day, when I wake up/in my car/with family/alone and mostly before I go to sleep. I devour every article, and also your readers’ comments, and your mutual interactions. I have a great desire to understand, that stems from intellectual and emotional reasons and I have found here the “Holy Grail” regarding the narcissistic psyche.
I have fears and insecurities regarding writing here but my desire to be an active participant is too strong.
My first question to you Mr. Tudor is (apologies if you have to reiterate, and apologies for my English): have you shared with your intimate partners your experiences regarding deep childhood wounds and trauma? Is this type of disclosure useful or detrimental in your romantic relationships’ dynamics?
Thank you so much!
Hello Narseeker and welcome. Thank you for reading. You are welcome to participate. No, I have not shared those experiences with them.
Hello Mr. Tudor. I am delighted and grateful for your welcoming words and for your answer.
The N in my life had “confided” in me about an episode of childhood abuse. Of course it is not clear to me whether this was indeed a single event, or the tip of the iceberg, or a fabricated tale.
I am not sure whether his IPPS was told about this.
Needless to say, his disclosure drew me even closer to him. I felt even more empathy, admiration, curiosity, intrigue, care and intimacy.
Our “dance” started off as a ‘working relationship’ that he pursued and developed full steam after the professional interaction had halted.
Nowadays, enduring a second (“final this time”) discard. I believe that he “inverse-hoovers” me from time to time (I don’t recall your exact wording for that dynamic)
I would love your input, Mr. Tudor regarding another question (in spite of it being formulated with not much accuracy): which type of admiration is preferable to you: admiration for your ways of building your fortress, admiration for your true struggles, coping skills, or admiration for false traits (the mask of your kind and loving persona)?
Thank you so very much.
They all did. I was surprised.
How did you realise that they all knew? Did they tell you?
Oh Amy, sorry that I did not answer your question. I haven`t seen it. No, they did not tell me. But most of them did not know him or had seen him only a few times. So he had no possibility to convince them that I was the crazy or bad one. That was my advantage. My cousin saw him only once at a family event. She said, that she `s known for her good insight into human nature. He made the impression to her as if he was the dream man of every mother in law. She believed me from the very first moment. Workmates said: “Why shouldn´t we believe you, you never lied in all the years?” He had no influence. That was a huge luck for me. One of the wives of his friends warned me in the beginning. I did not understand the warning. How could I, lovebombed to brainless state? I invited her after the relationship. We were no friends, but I calculated on her curiosity. I told her all about him even his perverse thoughts. She was disgusted. I let her read the sms he wrote me (at that time the next wanted to marry him) She did not know, how evil he really was. I know, she believed me but her husband needs him for business. She said, he was never allowed to visit them on a family event. They and him stayed “friends.” That is a little bit bitter for me, on the other hand I am sure that they will never combine their companies. They are warned about his financial unreliability. And – what is much more important for me – I gave her written information, where the next one can find help. He will not stop until the end of his life. He knows what he is. He abused everyone in his life, parents included. He made them pay for his childhood. It is much too much revenge. There is only one person- who didn`t believe me for a long time. That was my mother- the person – I trusted most in my life!
Can ‘normal’ people recognise narcissists? Or is it only the empaths that can?
Anybody who reads, understands and applies my work can. This is more likely to be an empathic person as they are more likely to want to be able to do the spotting.
Very very good. That’s why I never speak to anyone about him. They would never believe what I truly know. Sad but true.
I believe HG has love in him somewhere, you guys believe that?
I got bit by an ostrich, true story. Could that be why I bury my head in the sand when it comes to HG? I really believe he could be nice and stay nice. Of course I’ve been vaping so………..
I believe he has. But it’s only exposed when he looks in the mirror.😉
HG is like a Bull Shark. He can swim in any type of water, whether it is fresh, salt or brackish. Under the surface, hiding, lurking, waiting, taking what he wants, when he wants it. He could chew you up, spit you out and do it over and over again if he wanted. I don’t think there is any love there at all. But, he certainly is a nice fellow for helping us all out.