The Narcissistic Truths – No. 3

NT3

36 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 3

  1. IFUCKINSEEYOU says:

    Uh oh! What does that actually mean? The body of a child and the hand of an adult… Hmmm. Well, India. It appears that NONE OF YOUR CHILDREN ARE ACTUALLY CHILDREN! Doesn’t IT?!

    Becaaaauuuuuse, YOU, INDIAN PEOPLE, ARE ALL THE SAME GENDER! You are incapable of reproducing naturally so you make clones of yourselves over and over and over again! This is why India owns the medical industry and is poisoning EVERYONE else with pharmaceuticals, cosmetics, food supply etc.

    Would you look at the GIANT SNAKE BITCH! It’s actually the TRUNK OF AN ELEPHANT!

  2. Me says:

    I guess no one can tell that those aren’t the facial expressions of a narcissist or a psychopath. And you aren’t one of them. The face that you’re pointing at with a child’s body and and adult’s hand, is the look of permanent trauma on the face of a child. It is caused by SEVERE physical and sexual abuse. It is the look of shock and subconscious pain. You were drugged and molested as a child. You’ve lived your entire life surrounded by “Pennywise the dancing clown.” I have too.

    That’s why you know how the psychopath operates. A narcissist IS a psychopath and they comprise the MAJORITY of the world. Robert Hare is one of them. That’s why he made up the lie that there is only 1 to 2% of the population who is psychopathic. It’s the exact opposite in reality. Thats why none of your commenters can tell that you speak with the voice of a man who was tortured and abused.

    I see you.

    With love,
    Carisa

  3. Bunhead says:

    Who shall I be today.
    I wonder if my ex has those exact thoughts.
    He used to speak to me so badly. We once went to his psychiatrist together and the dr manufactured a situation where he spoke badly to me in front of him. Afterwords the dr said how did that feel. And I said horrible. And he said he had no idea why as he thought he hadn’t spoken badly to me at all. But this is how he spoke to most people. I just can’t believe that he didn’t know he was behaving so badly.
    Especially when he has the ability to behave like a normal person. Everyone who worked for him hated him. When his business went under eventually due to over extending ( he couldn’t just have a nice business , it had to be an amazing business) we left the country, although in my eyes we had been planning it for a while , I think he knew and thought it was a good plan , and encouraged it , well he left without paying any of his employees and they turned on him big time. Talked about him in the press and the press had a field day. His one investor went after him and he fought him for 5 years wasting every single resource we had , even though I wanted to do the right thing in the beginning and sell what we had and pay him back , he refused. It was 5 long years of absolute torture. Did he mention he’s diagnosed bi polar as well. Well I don’t know about that either. I think he’s a complete sociopath.

  4. NarcAngel says:

    Foolme1time
    I immediately thought no good could come of attending for you. Either something would happen and you would be blamed for ruining the party with everyone now believing his smear campaign of you, or by attending you look like you are unable to get over him and move on (which he has undoubtedly told people also). He is no doubt attempting to add to the facade by showing this magnanimous gesture to others. I say decline with reason of doing something fabulous. Lie and say you are going somewhere or to do something he has always wanted to do. He might miss his own party sulking lol.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Thank you! No I’m not going to lie. I honestly do not care about him anymore at all or what he does! I’ve moved on. Even though I have a lot to learn yet, what I have learned I will never forget! I am not going to respond to him or the invitation at all. 😘

  5. foolme1time says:

    I am going to pass ladies! If I would go it would be disrespectful not only to myself but also HG! He has taught me so much and the first thing I learned was no contact is the best way to go!! A tutu really! Lol. 😂

  6. foolme1time says:

    HG, this has nothing to do with this post. I was invited to an engagement party for my ex!! Yes I know very ballsy!! If I go I know this is a Hoover! But if I went with someone else ( male) then what would he do? Not going just curious is all. Thanks for any reply you can give on this one!

    1. Please go and inform us on how it went 😛

      1. karen1303 says:

        Yes I’m intrigued now too! I’m sure he’ll fuel from it either way. If you go he’ll get the obvious fuel and if you don’t he’ll see that as you not being able to bear seeing him with someone else (typical grandiose delusions)

        1. Makes sense Karen. That’s two against one

          Hmm… You must go, and do it for ‘Team Empath’ hahaha

      2. foolme1time says:

        SJ, don’t want to go! He is all her problem now! I was just wondering what could happen? Thought maybe some devaluation. I no it would puss him off, but he would control that until he could let out somewhere else! Couldn’t let his mask drop in front of everyone! Lol

        1. Maybe he’d receive fuel initially, but then have to devalue you as a punishment for taking someone with you.

          You could go dressed in a pink tu-tu, with your hair sprayed up like two devil horns, wearing wellies and dropping some tricks with a yo-yo

          “Is that your ex?”

          “Errrr…”

      3. windstorm2 says:

        Great mental image, Sarah! But probably not the best approach.

        Foolmeonetime, trust your instincts. Best not to go. Too much risk for too little reward.

    2. narseeker says:

      Hו Foolmeltime, maybe it is not relevant anymore but I would like to say : please, do not go. Not alone, not with someone else. Whatever you do, he will think he won. I assume he will decide which thought and feeling suits him best and he will wear it. If you decline the invitation, he might fantasize that you are “too vulnerable, too weak, too wounded” to see him, and are crying broken in the kitchen floor. In his mind, he wins. If you go to the party he will think he spot the signs “she misses me, she is hurting right now, she wishes to be with me”. If you go with (insert name of most stunning movie star) “Oh, she wants to make me jealous, she is obviously hurting”. In top of that, he will hate you: for going, for not going, for existing. I think that one of the most important steps in our recovery is “disengaging” (ha ha) from the image of us in their consciousness. I think that we self-sabotage when we try to make them see, whatever that may be: to make them see a) they lost someone very special that loved them b) they made a terrible mistake c) we are over them . They are NEVER going to see that. They either think of us as replaceable,interchangeable, pitiful casualties, forever in love with them, or as ugly, disgusting treacherous bitches. No matter what we do. Totally idiosyincratic. .

  7. mistynolan01 says:

    Choose wisely, narc.

  8. sues423 says:

    Hi HG
    Is this something you really contemplate when you start your day? It would seem to me that you would use multiple personas throughout the day depending on the person/situation . Maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way..

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, it is the representation of how we adopt different personaes.

  9. SVR says:

    HG you are Worzel. Wonder where the next aunt Sally is?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Getting wooden devaluation balls thrown at her most likely. Cup of tea and a slice of cake SVR?

      1. VFH says:

        What did I miss about Aunt Sally?? My ex said i reminded him of her – I thought it was because I blushed so easily. Clearly not??

        Could someone explain to me please…..

      2. Not So Sad says:

        Hya HG .

        I know after all this time I should know the answer to this question .
        But It seems that Limp Dick is triangulating me yet again with current supply .

        Will he ever stop ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Only when you die or he does but you can manage the risk considerably by reference to the Hoover Trigger and the Hoover Execution Criteria.

  10. karen1303 says:

    Great artwork 😁

  11. shantily says:

    Precisely…and you’d think that something just as simple and profoundly terrible as that picture above would deter anyone from getting involved or staying involved…with a sociopath…but No

    I once asked a “mental health” professional why do people like me stay when red flags, black flags, blood stained flags are flying everywhere early on in the relationship… clearly when you have Jekell and Hyde behaviour you need to get the Hell out of Dodge immediately… and she said because you were shown by your Mother that you should stay and fight she was a survivor and little children who witness their Mothers/fathers enduring abuse and trauma stay longer than a person who did not encounter such things.

    And here I sit two narcissists later within a 7 year span, what have MY children been taught to endure in their futures ?

    1. narseeker says:

      For me it is the hope, the belief that change can happen. Even if I instinctively felt the danger from the beginning, even if I have some understanding (that deepens by the hour) of the mind, I still cannot shake the belief that something can change. Change happened for me. Both narcissists, former N and you, H.G. have been the agents of change in my life. A profound change in world-perception and in self-perception. Through them I acquired a totally new experience and perspective. Ironically, the agents of change do not wish to change.

      They like to stay deterministic in a way.H.G. -in contrast with most narcissists- understands the inner principles that govern his actions, and one day he decided to share them with us. Not only he changes his targets’ life course (like our infamous Ns) but also changes our lives via explaining us the N’s “Principia”.Thirdly, unbeknown to the narcs, H.G. even changes their own lives by empowering us. Does it necessarily imply that H.G’s way of life has to remain constant? I believe change can happen for him too. Is this naivitee, H.G?

      1. Not So Sad says:

        Hi narseeker.

        I believed he could change . I always saw the good in him as you do. My relationship was a constantly a push/pull of emotions & drained me emotionally .
        I didn’t want to give up but eventually I just shut down . I was numb to it all .
        My only wish is that I had the willpower to escape sooner.

      2. shantily says:

        There is no hope, they are committed to being who they are they don’t want to change…imho

        Even if a narcissist is being shown that he can get attention and fuel via positive reinforcement via positive avenues….they don’t care!! There is no incentive to change because negative fuel is sometimes just as delicious as positive fuel ..!! Lol I was reading a case of a narcissist who became self aware and now he feels he’s in total HELL and wished for various reasons, that he’d remained ignorant.

        In order for change to take place there first must be a desire to change correct ?

        One day I was hounding my narcissist about why he wouldn’t be honest about his disorder with me I was telling him I wouldn’t judge him etc and asking why he wouldn’t seek help …

        His response: I don’t care …

        To which I replied: Atta boy. Bravo.

        His last response? He simply texted .. :))))))

        I burst into nervous laughter 😂😂😂 🖤🖤🖤

        1. narseeker says:

          Hi Shantily, you’re right.. and now I struggle (especially today, and I rather not talk about it right now..too painful) to change my behavioral patterns. I have promised to myself SO MANY TIMES to stop this madness, and I’ve come to a point where I cannot trust myself anymore. It’s like I became my worst enemy. It is me the one that needs to change. I read, understand, try to apply this knowledge, but there I go again seeking for a little bit more of the ST and hurt (sorry for the rant)

      3. shantily says:

        Narcseeker We can help each other 🙂 whatever means you’re using to get back in touch with him or obsessing over him if it’s email social media get rid of it !!!! Do not go back to get your ass kicked one more time !! I struggle everyday because he has someone new and I know the golden period is so delicious it makes me crazy that someone else is getting the Royal treatment ..but the HELL that is going to be unleashed on this poor unsuspecting soul ??!! I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy..he broke my arm he ripped out my hair he had me thrown in jail he threw me off a boat in the middle of no where and drove away ..he got up in the middle of dinners and walked right out of the restaurant because I said something that offended him ..left me no money no ride GONE …I’ve been making a list and checking it twice it goes on and on of all the things she’s going to have to put up with ( among other things) so I just DON’T go back for more !!! I’m sorry something recently happened to you 🙁 you’re alive, you’re breathing , you can rebuild..we can. You can!

        Here’s one more thing to think about …narcs are empty souls he used to say he was always watching me when I wasn’t looking … which is the mirroring thing they do ..they try to become as you are …to pretend they have your traits …!! He wasn’t even a real personality!! I was seeing my character reflected back to me so that I’d like him more !!!!…probably the bad stuff too ..it’s just such mind F@ckery …😆 He wasn’t a real character it was fiction, he’s probably a different personality now from being with the new woman ….like WHAT the ?!!!

        Grieve my dear we can all grieve together 🖤💔🖤 take it day by day mark an X on the calendar today Day 1 NC …😘

        1. narseeker says:

          Shantily, thank you !!!! I needed these words so much today!! Thank you with all my heart. I downloaded now a countdown app. My goal is a year. A whole year without cyber-stalking, without contact (it’s always me the one trying to establish contact during this current awful ST) 365 days to go. Tomorrow it will be 364.. I never made it past 52 days. I hope I can make it. I know I have to, I want to, I used to think I had willpower. The most discouraging thing is that I lost confidence in my ability to make such a decision and stick with it. I wish there was an easy way not to use the relevant social media that makes it so easy for him to make an impact on me (youtube, google, whatsapp, etc.)
          Thank you so much!!

          1. VFH says:

            Hi narseeker…..keep strong! The calendar is a good idea….crossing the days off and seeing it will I’m sure help to stop those weaker moments of sneaking a peek or picking up the phone.

            If it helps, I used to sent texts to myself whenever my fingers got twitchy for reaching out to him. It really worked! By the time I got whatever I wanted to say off my chest, i calmed down and the moment passed. It was as vaping is to smoking I think….I went through the motions but did myself no damage. (Sorry I’m not a smoker so vaping may well be harmful…not an expert here….)

            Wishing you well with your NC offensive.

          2. narseeker says:

            Thank you so much, VFH.
            I am even using stickers (animal stickers, that’s what I have got at home) for each day. Like I’m 5 (or maybe 3) years old. Totally unbelievable!! I’m passed the point of embarrassment..
            I liked the idea of sending texts to myself, essentially that’s what I have been doing with the N: having a (twisted) relationship with myself, pouring love and understanding into a black hole and then missing it. I will try your suggestion, I’m very happy it worked for you!

          3. VFH says:

            Narseeker – If anything I’ve experienced can lead to helping another then there’s some good to come out of the whole thing! This is why talking is so important isn’t it, not being shut down and invalidated anymore or made to feel we’re mad to not be happy being treated this way.

            How insidious the abuse to make us so numb, so not ourselves, that we don’t even question the clearly (in hindsight) abusive behaviour.

            Because the person they loved bombed us with was so amazing, so lovely so caring so EVERYTHING that we excuse and excuse and excuse.

            Shantilly’s story reminded me too of another tactic to give you a jolt back to reality of what your ex is *really* like….I wrote a list of the awful things my ex said and did, both to me and our children, in bullet point form. Including the red flags I could now see.

            When I read it back over I felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over me. If anyone else did this to my children would it be ok? NO! If a friend told me a man was behaving this way with her would I say it was ok? NO!

            And then I wrote a list of the things he did that were so ‘wonderful’. Interestingly it was hard to think of many! There was nothing of substance there. Gifts, overblown gestures…er….and not a lot else! The occasional show of decency but even without knowing it was all for show, still the fact was it was occasional. Like count on one hand. We were together 12 years! Try it.

            You deserve better. We all do. End of.

            Sending virtual hugs to you and all other survivors out there!!!

          4. narseeker says:

            Thank you so much, VFH. I wholeheartedly agree, if someone would treat my daughter, a friend, or any other woman in a way that comes close to 0.1 percent of the abuse I would do EVERYTHING in my power to try to put a stop to it . Needless to say, I wouldn’t try to text/call/help the abuser. (It makes me cringe to think that after everything I have been reading here, I actually asked myself this morning if it’s OK not to wish him a happy birthday next month!!). I really don’t understand why I would fight like a lioness for another woman and not for me. Is it self-sabotage? .. Maybe it has to do with some (false) sense of “I’m strong, I can take everything.. and I’m also curious as in Alice in Wonderland lol” and my lesson would be: “you’re not that strong. you too need protection, you cannot endure anything that comes your way, protect yourself”. I remember each and every twisted thing he did, but never wrote a list, though. Yesterday I asked myself: which item, if added to the list would make me hate him in a “cold, rational” way, without any longing or hurt? questions, questions..
            Thanks VFH and virtual hugs to you too!!!

          5. VFH says:

            Hello YouCanDoThis (aka narseeker – see what I did there 😉)

            I get it. Everything you’ve said. I did it too. I had the same thing even this year (after nearly 6months of NC) wondering if it was ok to not send happy birthday wishes. Like, I don’t want to upset him. Me! Upset him! Whaaat??

            I sent myself a happy birthday text instead. And had a little retail therapy which I shouldn’t have done but hey, a scented candle (calming aromatherapy obvs) can do me no harm.

            I stopped beating myself up about any of it. Nothing I did was motivated by anything other than well meaning or kindness in my journey. Misguided admittedly but I had to do it.

            I made my mistakes at the beginning, sent all the heart on sleeve texts, sent screenshots of pictures of “the way we were”, found excuses to get in touch, poured a double measure of something after the kids were in bed and knocked it back before howling empty tears into a sofa cushion. I needed what i needed when i needed it. It helped to a degree. You have nothing to be ashamed for, missing someone you loved.

            BUT. One day I had simply had enough. Using the addiction analogy again (because that’s what a relationship with an abuser is like) every time I got a fix I was right back to square one. And that started pissing me off enough to put myself in voluntary cold turkey.

            Your wondering what would give you reason to hate him in a cold rational way made me think. I’m not sure anything will. Not because you’ll always love him (or rather hanker after him), but because maybe your subconscious doesn’t have enough of him to grip onto for hate to exist. Is that the dissonance we experience perhaps? I believe our psyche knows we loved an illusion before we do and you can’t hate something that’s not even there. Does that make sense? We can be angry, sad, empty, numb. But hate just slips off. That might be your moment of having had enough. When you can’t even be bothered to try and hate him anymore.

            When all else failed btw I also reminded myself of that saying…something like “If you love something let it go, if it’s meant to be it will come back to you.” For some reason that helped me. It reminded me that even if he was great and I could ignore how blatantly abusive he definitely was; if he didn’t love me why on earth would I continue to make a fool of myself following him about either physically or virtually when he clearly didn’t feel the same about me? It wasn’t empowering or anything, it just made sense to me.

            And in the meantime. Stickers are good! Lists are good. Friends are good. Rubbish telly is good. Clean linen on your bed and an early night is good. Sleeping diagonally is good! Closing your eyes, taking a few deep breaths and focusing on silence is good. Having chocolate for breakfast if that’s what you want is good. Basically anything about you caring for YOU is good.

            Happy damn Tuesday lady.

          6. narseeker says:

            Awesome!!!! Thank you very very much!! And YES YouCanDoThis is much much better than narseeker. The minute I feel ready, a name change will certainly take place. Thank you for your wise words, happy damn Tuesday to you too!! 🙂

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