ah we have that inner sanctum too, only we let the roof off, the sun shine and the plants grow in ours…
you narcs shut it underground tight with a massive lid on: all plant life is death and moldiness and rott…
you could, if you chose, un-bury it and lift the lid, let the stale air become clean and fresh, let the plant life regrow / live, let the sun shine, clear the mold and rott out and spring clean the darn thing…
but it’s so much easier to wallow in the stench rather then change things…
woeth me, I am slave to this…
only because you so choose it
I wonder if narcissism is an over-compensatory sense of fight or flight mode caused by early trauma… I wonder if your hippocampus shrunk too much early on, your Amygdala grew overly big to compensate, and my kind somehow recovers / fights it while your kind does not… the exagerated PTSD and C-PTSD effect…
I mean… many empaths have dealt with narcs early on, be it parents, family members or outside narcs (school bullies as early as day care, peers and sometimes even a teacher)
in early childhood, when the brain is first forming, then it would set how the brain is wired and it would take your kind a lot more effort to recover especially once adult since the brain is set in it’s wiring at that point… so children could still be nudged out of it (increasingly difficult as they get older) while adults would be very difficult to treat as their brain is resistant to alterations on wiring…
ah the joys of neuro science.. which I know nothing of btw…
would that not be something if that were the case then narcissism could be “cured” or prevented,
Ali
I love your description of our inner sanctum as a greenhouse we open to the air and weather! That’s how I envision mine!
I think their inner sanctum is what they spend so much effort hiding from. It’s why they need all the fuel for façades. Any inner sanctum they will admit to is just a façade itself.
Is there an inner sanctum? I doubt that now. There is only a selfish person, bitter and out in the world to steal, betray, and destroy, without conscience. What should there be in the inner sanctum? Darkness and void. We are not allowed to see that. We always look for that treasure chest and if we find it and open it we will find nothing besides quicksand. The inner sanctum seems to be the outside facade. I cannot talk about you, I can only talk about that narc. I looked behind his facade and found no beauty of soul, only a contradictory, lying person with conflicting views, never satisfied, only knowing that he wants money, sex and power and was not able to get that to the amount he wanted. There is no inner sanctum in his case. The belief in the ” inner sanctum” is only another carrot to keep people in place.
I think I had a break though, I always had the power over him. (Not the other way around). All this time feeling those negative feelings, those are his feelings. (not mine) I’m not a “thing” to be controlled, nor will I ever put myself in harms way again. I will shine again, brighter than any star. Everything comes from a secret place inside, I can feel myself healing. Things will get better, once I’ve survived this crazy emotional storm. I will survive….
Love this image for this. It is like a maze trying to understand a narcissist. I could never understand when i got close to my narc why he’d do something to distance himself. I know a lot more now than i did when we first were involved 6 yrs ago. Here and there hes dropped info on his childhood and from what ive learned his dad was abusive. I know ill never fully know him but i respect the fact he needs to keep that hidden. Narcissists hide it from themselves with their built up facade why would they allow us inside?
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I woulda suggest that the inner sanctum is fear.
It is motivated by avoiding fear.
Yes
There might be a 12-year old in the inner sanctum if anything exists at all.
ah we have that inner sanctum too, only we let the roof off, the sun shine and the plants grow in ours…
you narcs shut it underground tight with a massive lid on: all plant life is death and moldiness and rott…
you could, if you chose, un-bury it and lift the lid, let the stale air become clean and fresh, let the plant life regrow / live, let the sun shine, clear the mold and rott out and spring clean the darn thing…
but it’s so much easier to wallow in the stench rather then change things…
woeth me, I am slave to this…
only because you so choose it
I wonder if narcissism is an over-compensatory sense of fight or flight mode caused by early trauma… I wonder if your hippocampus shrunk too much early on, your Amygdala grew overly big to compensate, and my kind somehow recovers / fights it while your kind does not… the exagerated PTSD and C-PTSD effect…
I mean… many empaths have dealt with narcs early on, be it parents, family members or outside narcs (school bullies as early as day care, peers and sometimes even a teacher)
in early childhood, when the brain is first forming, then it would set how the brain is wired and it would take your kind a lot more effort to recover especially once adult since the brain is set in it’s wiring at that point… so children could still be nudged out of it (increasingly difficult as they get older) while adults would be very difficult to treat as their brain is resistant to alterations on wiring…
ah the joys of neuro science.. which I know nothing of btw…
would that not be something if that were the case then narcissism could be “cured” or prevented,
LOL but what do I know?
Ali
I love your description of our inner sanctum as a greenhouse we open to the air and weather! That’s how I envision mine!
I think their inner sanctum is what they spend so much effort hiding from. It’s why they need all the fuel for façades. Any inner sanctum they will admit to is just a façade itself.
Is there an inner sanctum? I doubt that now. There is only a selfish person, bitter and out in the world to steal, betray, and destroy, without conscience. What should there be in the inner sanctum? Darkness and void. We are not allowed to see that. We always look for that treasure chest and if we find it and open it we will find nothing besides quicksand. The inner sanctum seems to be the outside facade. I cannot talk about you, I can only talk about that narc. I looked behind his facade and found no beauty of soul, only a contradictory, lying person with conflicting views, never satisfied, only knowing that he wants money, sex and power and was not able to get that to the amount he wanted. There is no inner sanctum in his case. The belief in the ” inner sanctum” is only another carrot to keep people in place.
I agree Mona. I think their inner sanctum is just a big empty void.
I don’t think there’s an inner sanctum either. I held out hope for a long time; however, I think it’s quicksand or a sinkhole too.
I think I had a break though, I always had the power over him. (Not the other way around). All this time feeling those negative feelings, those are his feelings. (not mine) I’m not a “thing” to be controlled, nor will I ever put myself in harms way again. I will shine again, brighter than any star. Everything comes from a secret place inside, I can feel myself healing. Things will get better, once I’ve survived this crazy emotional storm. I will survive….
it’s disavowed so ultimately not even you can go there.
Love this image for this. It is like a maze trying to understand a narcissist. I could never understand when i got close to my narc why he’d do something to distance himself. I know a lot more now than i did when we first were involved 6 yrs ago. Here and there hes dropped info on his childhood and from what ive learned his dad was abusive. I know ill never fully know him but i respect the fact he needs to keep that hidden. Narcissists hide it from themselves with their built up facade why would they allow us inside?
Including yourself, HG.