The Narcissistic Truths – No. 89

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21 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 89

  1. K says:

    HG
    Thanks! And I appreciated the answer regarding gas lighting on Sadistic Streak. I sometimes forget that you were abused with the same weapons that we empaths were and wondered if your responses could be similar to ours. When my mother gas lighted me, I just thought she was crazy and I ignored her.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome. Indeed, I in effect ignored it in a different way and it is only as of late that its nature and its connection has both arisen and been made aware to me.

  2. K says:

    I remember talking about Guy Fawkes Night to a narcissist (lesser) and this is the response I got: Who the fuck is Guy Fawkes and what’s an effigy?

    I responded, “Never mind, it’s not important.”
    But I thought: If you listened to me, you would know. Fucking idiot!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Amused me, K.

  3. C★ says:

    I was the one saying this to HIM all the time. it was met with more ST

  4. NarcAngel says:

    I stole this from the Narc playbook and used it against a Narc in my workplace. It was delivered to her in front of her boss. Then I added that it was for the good of the organization that the issue was raised and expected as professionals we could put personal feelings aside and work together to correct it. Delivered with no emotion in voice or face as HG advises works very well. Well……it did for me. She was not as calm due to the massive injury and her mask slipped. Ooops.

  5. Sandra says:

    3 weeks to the day, I wrote the previous comment and I get the hoover attempt via email. Fuck you, Sixth Sphere.

    Wish me strength. I’m mad as hell. He’s working the over-reaction/plausible explanation angle and blaming his no-comment on his outrage at my mistrust lol.

    Predictable.

    Help.

    1. DebbieWolf says:

      Sandra

      Yep. fucking typical and predictable as you say.
      Blame shifting and projection.. by the same token here he is trying to get to you.
      Do not respond at all.
      Absolutely nothing.
      Bite your tongue whatever you have to do…do not respond.
      Let him go into his little fuel crisis.
      Mine has.
      Won’t be long before he’s begging and pleading …some pity play will come into it believe me .
      Anything you was supposed to have done will disappear into the pity play …
      again let him get on with his fuel crisis.
      Stay resolute.
      You can do this.
      The more you ignore the better.

  6. Sandra says:

    3 weeks today enacting N/C with MRVN. As foretold, he’s closing wound by giving me silent treatment (which is good!) and–no doubt–hoovering/seducing anything that crosses his path.

    I’m still wearing my tin hat and weathering the emotional sea. Predictability…lol…now that my eyes are opened his predictability keeps me non accessible for survival’s sake. Ever presence is still a problem. By far his most dangerous and sabotaging weapon I’ve ever encountered 🙁

  7. PhoenixRising says:

    Funny you should phrase it this way, HG, because a few times my narc has told me: “I need you to hear what I’m going to say. I know you’re not going to listen me, but I need you to hear me.” Always thought it was odd wording, and it pissed me off a bit that he told me I’m not going to listen to him.

  8. Violet says:

    What is with narcissists hanging over your shoulder or every word and their ability to halt or suppress your high from whatever you’re doing, before you arrive at the moment? Every single class does this. An intense way of following your self expression like they are literally inhaling it and then shit all over it. It’s the height of uncivilised garbage in social interaction.

  9. Mary Jane says:

    an elephant never forgets…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You already told me this on 29th December 2016.

      Perhaps you had forgotten?

  10. Karma says:

    And … you read what we write and pretend to care but don’t check…
    My personal list for the N is getting looooong! Brilliant idea to get a pretty little note book and fill it with the crazy shit he pulled…. and instead of talking about it and dwell I simply read the terrible things he pulled but in a very structured way!
    Example
    1. He lovebombed me and used all the phrases acoording HG
    2. He hoover when fuel supply is low
    3. He never could sleep many hours 😴 due to all the horrible things that would pop up if not going to bed and fall asleep right away…I guess that was also the reason for waking me up for sex in the middle of the night all the time is order to be able to fall asleep on top of me …. so crazy!!!


    So they don’t listen nor care … Lonely and tormented souls …

    1. lmnop says:

      I have done that. Gotten a *bad narc* notebook and wrote every awful thing he did in there. It helps a lot in overcoming cognitive dissonance (holding two separate ideas in your head of the good guy and the bad guy) when you read in your own writing what he did. We tend to remember the good and forget the bad. This helps us remember the bad. I read those notes often. Stay NC as much as you can, even in your thoughts.

      1. Narc affair says:

        Im nc 2 days now. Im doing this very thing going over why everytime i feel panicky. The devaluements and asking myself why do i stay. I find i need constant reminders to keep the strength up. My narc could be very sweet but that was a binder to make it difficult to walk away from the abuse. He was covertly devaluing me with a smile acting like the loving partner while injecting me with poison. The sweet things mean nothing if they are emotiinally abusing you. Reminders help and why i continue to read the blogs and watch u tubes as well as journal and make a “list” of what hes done. We can find lists helpful as well.

      2. Windstorm2 says:

        Imnop
        I’m the opposite about memory. I remember the bad and forget the good. I’ve wondered if that’s a survival strategy when you grow up around narcs. Remembering the bad is important, it’s like warnings that help you protect yourself. I’m curious. Did you have a normal family growing up?

  11. Mona says:

    Yes, that is right, because you have no respect for anyone, yourself included.

  12. Narc affair says:

    You hear everything and use it against us in some way.

    1. Indy says:

      True NarcAffair! Especially the higher functioning narcissists. So true.

  13. Laurie says:

    Why? Because you are too busy trying to get fuel? When I first read this I thought it was going to be We listen but we do not care. Same thing, now that I think about it.

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