The Narcissistic Truths – No. 105
9 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 105”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Well…
To be fair…
I do that too; however I’m not ALWAYS testing the person lol.
HG, please tell me if this is testing or something else. Just a few days into talking with my online narc, and after several conversations of him saying he wants to meet, he eventually picked a fight over me liking the Dixie Chicks. He had been “nice” all week, then got all pissy that I was going to see them in concert. Once he mellowed out, the conversation went like this:
Him: So aside from a fight with your boyfriend, how has your day been?
Me: It’s been okay. Is that how you see yourself?
Him: Maybe. That scare you?
Me: I just wondered.
Him: Come on. It’d be crazy to think of each other that way after only a couple days of talking.
This is the first time he made me cry, because he is the one who used the “boyfriend” language so early on and he was the one who requested me to say “I love you” to him when we climaxed together.
All of it had to be mind fuckery, no? But I don’t know which thing was what. I just felt confused and burst into tears over this asshole I’d only talked to a few days, and I felt silly for feeling the way I did so soon, but he deliberately wanted me attached so he could mock me for it, no?
To add to my comment above…
When he referred to himself as my boyfriend and then said “That scare you?” it made me feel like he must feel somewhat vulnerable or invested if he is concerned about scaring me away. Was that his goal in saying “That scare you?” to get me to think that way.
Or was that me imagining things?
He wanted to draw fuel and test you to see to what extent his control was applying to you.
Yes this was a test to ascertain how you would react to the use of language associated with a Formal Relationship. Your reaction would provide fuel and also indicate to him so he would instinctively recognise how ‘bound’ you are to him.
Yes!!! First test was if I could pay for a car since his credit score was bad. I declined… but since he saw the resources I had (empathize on had now since he drained me)… I passed.
Then testing and pushing the limits until he pushed to far and I left. I so wish I would have taken all my belongings and gone NC the same day… it would have been two years without his crap.
Boundaries always being tested and pushed. I see where i shouldve taken a stand so many times to stop or slow down boundaries being broken.
Who wants that kind of life? Who wants to be around someone like that?
Every “test” I “passed” gave him the green light to amp up his demands and requests and requirements. Sigh. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I was that malleable.