Please Please Please


I want you to do your best. That is a noble intention is it not? I want you to try harder each day. I want you to aim high and strive to improve on what you achieved the previous day. Though exhaustion may be clouding your vision and that ache in your limbs reminds you of the strenuous ministrations that you have attended to, I know that you can push through it and do it more, better, faster and stronger. I believe in you. Those other imposters are mere charlatans. Am I not the one who has given you a perfect love? You need to keep that perfect love and earn it. Accordingly, each day I will pull it away from you. On a Monday it might be the case that I do not kiss you. I will not give you an explanation for this withholding as you must work it out. Once you have you need to work hard to recover my kiss. The next day I will not return the hug you always give me when we first get up. Rather than complaining hold your tongue and consider this all part of your on going education. If you want my perfect love to manifest through those warm, safe hugs that you relish then you must please me so that you may have them again.

You repeatedly comment to me that there has to be give and take in a relationship. I am doing exactly what you ask for. I take away in order to make you give more and then you will be rewarded. In order to avoid any complacency on your part you will find that the next time I withdraw from kissing you, your first response which reinstated my luscious embrace will not work a second time. No that would be far too easy. You need to ascertain what different act you must accomplish in order to secure my tender kisses. I know you will do it. Who would not in order to feel my mouth against yours and that soaring sensation inside as the relief floods through you, knowing that you have secured its return. Admit it, the potential loss of my affection at any time for any reason excites you. You do not want mediocrity. You want excitement. You want to feel like you are flying, soaring, bursting and spinning with delight. I am the only one who can supply that to you and thus you willingly engage with me in these games as I push you further and further, pulling back a little more each time so you wrack your brain and strain your sinews to find the answer once again. It would be wrong of me to say I only do this for your benefit. I do not. I do it wholly for mine since I need you to please me. You please me by being the puppet jerking on my strings, doing everything at my behest. The surge of power that I get from this control surpasses anything you might get from our relationship, but are we not both getting something from it, so where’s the harm in pleasing me?

16 thoughts on “Please Please Please

  1. f#$%ing dopamine….

    1. and F#$%ing oxytocin too

  2. narc affair says:

    Total trauma bonding. The excitement is a surge of chemical in the brain and not healthy. Youre being conditioned and trained by a master manipulator like a dog to its master always wanting to please. Knowing this helps tremendously but it still hurts being manipulated in this way. Hot and cold. You never know where you fully stand. The other shoe could drop at any moment and youre plunged back into the cold or lukewarm which is just as bad.
    The worst part is coming out of this type of relationship really ruins a person for a normal one. Normal feels dead. Recieving love and acceptance so freely without having to earn it feels so very different. The highs and lows are misunderstood for passion instead of the emotional abuse it is. Trauma bonding and conditioning thats what this is.

    1. MLA - Clarece says:

      That just recapped my life nicely from Oct 2012 until about Feb 2017. Because of all this I fear I’m way too intense for a normal relationship. I have a lot of triggers that will cause problems.

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi clarece…it definitely does a number on a person and makes them gunshy to try another relationship.
        Ive noticed so many changes in myself since being with my narc and one of them is my confidence and eye contact. Another is relating to people in normal healthy relationships. I look at them and feel bored for them and depressed bc i feel this turmoil has altered my mind to only feel interested in dysfunction. Its so messed up. I do know when i went no contact for a week i had brief moments i felt i was coming down from the highs and detoxing. Im sure it wouldve taken much longer tho and with many ups and downs. Im waiting for the day i outgrow this situation like i did my last narc. The problem is i love this person and its difficult to unlove someone despite their disorder. This experience has messed me up in many ways with my thought processes and my emotions. When i see everyday couples i feel bored envisioning their lives which is so unhealthy.

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          Hi Narc Affair! We become addicted to the chaos of the relationships because of the chemical releases of dopamine during the highs. You can “detox” off of that but it feels like substituting something artificial if it’s missing from the next relationship. I’m in this weird place where after all I’ve been through I don’t want just a responsible relationship that feels monotonous and boring. But I guess I’d have to have someone interested in me first. Lol

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:


        You have people interested in you – ya probably don’t even notice because they bore you lol

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          Seriously I’m in the middle of cornfields and soybean fields in a college town a couple of hours south of Chicago. The selection pool is close to Nada. And the Frat boys cutoff for a “cougar” experience seems to be at about 42-43. Lol

      3. narc affair says:

        Hi clarece…if you dont mind how long have you been out of the relationship and how long were you in it? Id read it takes half the time you were in it to fully get over the toxic effects and move on. Idk if you fully ever get over it but you may feel better about moving on and more open to other types of men. The effects of this type of abuse run deep.

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          It feels like a trick question on how long was I “in it” vs how long was he in it. Lol
          I met JN in Oct 2012 and there was still contact thru early this summer. So 4-1/2 yrs. The last time I was with him in person was April 2015, but in the last two years there was still lots of texting mixed in with Skype calls (love crumbs filled with future faking) keeping me hooked.
          I have heard that saying as well about the time needed to fully get someone out of your system and over them. Based on that and knowing my heart, I know I have a ways to go. For the first time though I’m not hoping for a Hoover (to even experiment with which I did for several months learning about narcissism here). I know I just need to stay away. The silence from him this time seems different too though based on our last interaction and I don’t think he’s going to reappear. I’m staying out of the spheres and the Hoover bar is high so he doesn’t want to work too hard or appear to be making an effort to reach out to me. He thinks he’s too “smooth” for that.

  3. Salome says:

    I simply adore the picture!

    I have already experienced it a few times.
    The man on his knees just in front of me…
    Oh…. it feels so gooooooooood!!!!!!!
    It gives me a huge arousal.

    But why this photo here, dear HG?
    The text is about woman as a pleaser…

    1. Killer photo! Loves it!

      1. Sharon Marinucci says:

        My Male NARC.Wanted Me As This Photo Shows! I Would Not ,I Thought It Would Be Too Demeaning To His Already Negative CRAZY State ! It Wes Just To Belittle Me!!๐Ÿ‘นโ™‹๐Ÿ‚! Thanks H.G.!

  4. Patricia J says:

    This all rings true. My Narc would say…after pulling away, then giving me yet another task “Let’s see what you do”.

  5. This is the sad but absolute truth! You were commenting earlier on fears and fear of what? This is my fear right here. Not being able to feel like that with someone else. I have tried dating healthier men and I have not been interested because I don’t feel like that! Needless to say, as of now, I am not dating. Just saying

  6. Cโ˜… says:

    truly a game of strategy, and you will always perceive that you have won, even when you haven’t…

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