The Narcissistic Truths – No. 126

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31 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 126”

  1. I used to say that to my narc boyfriend. Mostly because he had me convinced that all those before him treated him like shit…Not so.
    Then, once I caught him cheating and he devalued me…he threw that comment back in my face and said I had “manipulated him and made him feel he couldn’t break up with me because no would love him because of his past (affairs)” Cry me a river. Sorry bud. Having three public affairs on your wife is a HUGE red flag. The ONLY reason it didn’t scare me away was because I had cheated on my husband and I thought he was the same as me. NOPE!!!

  2. My narc when id confront him in the early days would say you dont want to be alone again in which id say yes i do if im treated this way.

  3. I remember one of my ex N’s being completely amazed that I’d been single for 5yrs before we met, his exact response to this information was “wow, I just don’t believe someone as amazing as you has been alone for so long, I will be the man you’ve been dreaming of, I will love you like you’ve never been loved before” turns out he was just as narcy as the rest! I’m a narc magnet. Although his love bombing was spectacular, that was insular definetly, but he was shit in the sack πŸ˜‚ another first for the narcs I’ve dated so guess he was different in some ways lol

    1. Well it actually represents a well worn comment made by the narcissist during seduction and then the form of ‘love’ which manifests is indeed unlike anything else the victim has experienced.

      1. I understand what you mean and I agree, but I was looking at it from the point of view that no one will ever love you like this, because in effect you don’t really love us at all. This form of love may well be better than the real thing, because it isn’t the real thing………that is why in my mind……nobody else will love you like this……I have experienced this myself twice and if I ever feel this again, I will know I am with a narc……..Diva

      2. Yes, it was a self fulfilling prophecy.

        Conversely, the Narc may not ever feel love but they sure as hell recognize superior fuel and fall in love with that.

        Ever go to replace a cosmetic or appliance to find that it’s discontinued? The horror! Yes, a sub-par substitute might be settled for but you mourn that wonderful original. You hope for its reappearance.

        My aging, bored, complacent Narc lost a big chunk in his necessary efficient matrix and I actually used these words weeks before my escape.

  4. “Nobody will Love (TORTURE) You Like Me” … Truth … Narcissists are so predictable, it’s humorous once you catch onto their games, which mirrors that of a cat vs. mouse … Great Blog, by the way, one of the best on the Net!

  5. I sincerely hope that as I change, my needs change & an intense love will no longer mean the need for narcissistic love.

  6. Very true! I’ve never felt more loved than by ex narc. He was the most affectionate partner i’ve had. He would run his hands thru my hair, run his fingers gently down my back, on my shoulders, kiss me ever so gently on my lips, my forehead. (My non-narc ex b4 him used to kiss so hard i didn’t like it much; when i asked him to kiss me softly, he used to say he can’t help it because he loves me so much, and if i love him too then i should just give myself to him, so i did lol).
    I used to cuddle w ex narc for 3 hrs at a time, just looking into each other’s eyes with our legs intertwined, holding hands, kissing, touching. I would lay my head on his arm, his chest, or his ‘happy trail’ i believe it’s called, which is so perfect under his sculpted abs. This is getting x-rated lol. Anyways, it was heavenly. Thanks hg for allowing those lovely memories back.

    1. Jenna…
      When you say….
      “I used to cuddle w ex narc for 3 hrs at a time, just looking into each other’s eyes with our legs intertwined, holding hands, kissing, touching.”

      Me too!!!!!! The exact same thing. Minus the sculpted abs….LOL. But I did not care about that. It was his face, his eyes, his long hair that I used to love to pull that got me. He would position me on top of him (not in a sexual way, least not yet at the moment) and just stare at me and run his fingers along my forehead and face and stare into me. We would talk about anything and everything. It was the most intense thing ever. Yeah we eventually had sex after that but the moments up to that….geez it makes me wonder if all of this is yet again, taken bit for bit out of a narc textbook….so “utterly” creepy (utterly used for emphasis)…

      He had a piercing seductive stare. That along with the way he touched my hair and face, it had me in tears. Happy tears. Such a thing seems ridiculous now looking back but that is how I felt. And it sounds so cornball and silly but he would kiss my tears and then I would just start kissing him. We would be mid-conversation and I would just randomly kiss him. His reply was “wow you really are drawn to me”. At the time I just thought that sounded romantic but he had me right where he hoped I would be. Yeah I gave one big emotional fuel fest that’s for damn sure.

      Thank you for allowing me to piggyback on your post and allowing my lovely memories to come back. LOL. Mr. Piano recital during church.

      1. Jenna and GBean,
        Well shoot! I never got a cuddler Narc. Sex yes, sometimes good too…(must have been the tiny bit o Somatic in him). Damn Cerebrals *raises fist dramatically to the sky* with a smile too…because he’s G.O.N.E. (for now, as he is a narc). But I am a betting woman and I think, despite all HG logic, he’s gone for good. How much you wanna wager, HG. It’s been officially no Hoover since xmas, except the Hoover by proxy a month or so ago. This could be fun, I’m not scared of this one now so…

        Waiittt, only a month ago for a proxy Hoover…never mind πŸ˜† I’m crazy.

      2. Yes damn cerebrals!! LOL. He wasn’t spectacular at sex (but not horrible either)…but his intellect, vocabulary, conversational nature…..damn damn damn. So engaging. Total goofball nerd. Romantic. Cuddler. I’m sure it was all fake but damn those cerebrals are so intellectually delicious. Damn cerebrals most definitely!

      3. Indy, yes i certainly love cuddling!
        But b careful becoz remember what hg said – they will always hoover. Mine does lol.

      4. Hi Jenna and GBean,

        Oh yes, Jenna, I am prepared. He will get nothing from me. I am cold stone to him. I got hoovered by him and his parents (both) over the past year, and I am like, “See Ya, Don’t wanna Be Ya!” They were hell bent on me marrying him. Now I know why. They all were part of the dynamic. He was a drinker that required rehab and they were tired of it. They wanted to dump his troubles onto me to care for. Nope, nope, nope. This is why they were sooooo happy he found a therapist. Hahahah…fuckers. Just cause I care for people, doesnt mean I care to care take. Fuck no.

        GBean, yessss…I am a sapio for sure and that is what set me up for a cerebral upper mid ranger. He was self deprecating (which fooled me big time). Now I know, this is not something that can rule out a narc. Those sneaky mids. I know better now though. I just wish I had got some cuddling in there too. I am not overly clingy or anything, in fact quite the opposite, but I do like a snuggle in winter with someone you love. The non-narc ex used to say to me, you never want to cuddle.I wanted more than a cerebral though less than a Koala.

      5. Indy, like i said, i have seen ur pic, and i am not surprised u get hoovered til this day. U r stunning! On top of that, u r empathic, and provide many residual benefits, being a therapist.

        Glad u recognized it for what it was! I am a little surprised his parents were involved in the hoovering as well. That must have been annoying. Stay the strong sophisticated lady that u r. Many hugs! πŸ’—
        P.S. I wish u were my therapist😊

      6. Remember, though, it is “as the fuel requires”. I do not see my being hoovered as a compliment on me as a person, Jenna. I see it as his/their inability to let go and see me as a human with choices.

        And it reflects on me too, the issues I had/have with falling for shallow infatuation that I thought was love. It means I need to work on me. Thus, this is why I’m not dating yet. I’ve gone a year before. So for me it’s not hard. But looking inside and changing my patterns. Hard. But doable!!

        Yeah, his damned parents too. His dad was a lil sweet on me, he texted me good morning everyday too. In addition to his son. At first I thought it was sweet. He’s a retired military man and I respected that. I respect our vets, he was in vietnam. Now, when I read it out loud, it does sound kind of creepy though, lol!

        His mother was a cold hardass, all about how well decorated the million dollar home was, her Jag, clothes and connections. I didn’t like her. But she “liked” me, superficially. And I knew this from day one that her approval of me was conditional and superficial. I felt bad for my N ex, though he was s golden boy too. Oddly, I knew it was bad but didn’t know all of it. And she liked me being a therapist. Which is weird. Most people back away when you say therapist, haha!! She was for real a narc. She was more somatic and he more cerebral. The dad? A major codependent.

        Glad that’s in the past!!

        Jenna, just remember, Hoover does not equate love, respect or attraction physically. It’s fuel. You know this girl!

        Hugsss ❀️

      7. Indy, a somatic, a cerebral, and a co-dependent were all sitting in the living rm when the cerebral said … (insert joke)

        Lol! What a dynamic there!

        His mom sounds um… interesting…

        I agree w you that fuel is first and foremost for the narc. But somatics and elites care abt looks too. Maybe not during a hoover? Or maybe? Hmmm…

        Hugs back to u!! πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

      8. Hi Jenna,
        Yes, they do care about looks but never put value in a hoover. In my opinion it means nothing but being pathetic, desperate, and starving for fuel. That’s it. I may sound cold but that is the cold truth. They are predators that are hungry for fuel. If the fuel happens to be good looking too, anadditional tho not necessary benefit.

        I now am strong. I define my own worth and beauty and it does not depend on anyone else, even less a narcissist.

        I will finish the joke: A somatic mother, codependent father and a drunk cerebral are sitting in the living room after relapse. The somatic mother slaps the cerebral son across the face as his glasses fly across the room and tells she his father ( (and me)that he’s worthless. Cerebral dissociates. Codependent is silent and I am horrified. Oh, I forgot. Wasn’t a joke.

        Never let any person define you or charm your selfrespect away. Be strong, be the warrior that I know you can be!

      9. Another thing indy, i noticed in the above post a little foul mouth, lol! I am finally seeing another side of u! I like the fierceness! πŸ’—

      10. My mid range was self deprecating all the time!!!! Horrid self esteem. Is that all done for fuel? Or do they really think that low of themselves? That’s why the term “Narc” was never on my radar. I always figured a narc was egotistical with a high self-esteem. Before I came here and read about it though.

      11. Gabs, it’s difficult to believe it wasn’t real. I mean, it happened, so it was real for us. But for them, it was all for fuel and facade management. Regardless, it was special for me, and obviously for u too.

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