Poll : Which of these mindsets has affected your view of no contact?


No contact is the go to device to protect yourself and loosen the narcissist’s grip on you. Easier to do in certain instances than others, but it should always be aimed for. Naturally  we aim to breach your no contact because our needs must be fulfilled and our various forms of hoovers are applied, subject to the Hoover Trigger and Hoover Execution Criteria to achieve this.

You also have to fight the battle with your own emotional thinking which will be trying to make you interact with us to feed your addiction to the narcissist. Thus, your own mind set may well be trying to cause you to give in before trying to escape us. There are many considerations which may be stopping you from going no contact (or once did stop you) and choose the ones from the list below that are or were applicable to you. The relevant thoughts may prevail now, they may have stopped you going no contact for some considerable time before you finally escaped and applied no contact. Perhaps you went no contact and then gave in, or perhaps it was just a momentary consideration before you then imposed no contact. Whichever are applicable, choose as many are as relevant before casting your vote and do expand on your thoughts and observations in the comment section.

Thank you for participating.


Which of these mind sets is preventing (or had once prevented) you from implementing no contact?

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111 thoughts on “Poll : Which of these mindsets has affected your view of no contact?

  1. Kate says:

    So, I have finally come to the realization that I was an idiot. Instead of feeling angry, indignant and self-righteous, while considering myself to be 100% the victim and him as the villain, I am now able to see how much of the responsibility for the failure of this relationship rests on my shoulders. It took the passage of time and knowledge acquired to get to this point. The gift of a baby boy to raise and love has shown me how wonderful and complex men are. I just had no idea! If not for meeting some truly awful guys who led me to finding HG’s videos, consulting with him and this blog, this realization would have taken longer. Thank you!

  2. Kate says:

    Just to clarify, my ex-husband is in business and never wants anything that he didn’t earn himself through his own hard work! I would not marry and have a child with a man other than him because no one can live up to the standards set by him. He is above reproach and not a criminal!!!!!! He is not perfect, but he is honest and works harder than anyone I have ever met!

  3. Flickatina says:

    None of the above….there have been a couple of hoovers that I have responded to – but only because I refuse to give him the satisfaction of ignoring him. He’s not worth ignoring. If you see what I mean….

    1. Bekah B says:

      Hmmm.. Interesting way to look at it.. Please do further expound on this comment..

      1. Flickatina says:

        I guess I mean that when I did first ignore him – I eventually got a message asking if I was speaking to him yet. This told me that he is waiting from me to ignore him – he probably gets more of a kick when I ignore him than if I respond. By ignoring him, I am validating him.
        When I respond, I am polite and non-conversational – they way I would be with a telemarketer.

        1. Bekah B says:

          I understand your view on this.. I really do.. But then there’s the narcissistic perspective and it serves us deeply feeling people best to consider this perspective and apply it accordingly.. According to HG, ignoring a narcissist is a criticism towards them.. They hate it.. By ignoring him, you’re sending the message he is not worth your attention or time of day.. You’re effectively killing him when you do this.. And he knows it.. So perhaps him reaching out asking if you’re ready to speak to him again is an attempt to “resurrect” himself in your world.. And when you buy into this ploy and respond, he wins.. In all honesty, the only way to beat a narcissist is to adopt their perspective (since its the only one that matters to them anyway) and apply it in every circumstance when dealing with them..

  4. Caroline says:

    ~Forgot to check “new comments” option~(kindly ignore this bookmark)

    1. Bekah B says:

      Hi, Caroline!!

  5. Hamlout says:

    NPD, or not NPD, that was the question.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous manipulation or to take arms against a narcissist and by going no contact end them.

      1. Hamlout says:

        There’s the rub. For there is no such outrageous manipulation, malice or violence.
        But NPD or not NPD is no longer the question. It is more about myself.
        The fair HG, Narc of the Narcsite, be all my sins remembered.

  6. Kate says:

    This true story does not have a happy ending.

  7. Caroline says:

    Mine is a little bit of a variation of a few of these…I feel that if I don’t ease the narcissist off me (in a way that keeps his dignity intact/diffuses his anger) that he will bother/mess with other people in my life. And that is because he knows that would upset me most.

    Great poll.

  8. Kate says:

    Hi HG,

    You really are helping me so much to think things through! I am still unsure and confused because there are so many moving parts in a person, especially their intent.

    I am a “live and let live” sort of person. I felt like if he wanted to carry a bunch of money around, that was his right. It made me kind of embarrassed, but you made it make sense. He used to say “cash is king”, so I thought, “oh, okay.” I just never asked for explanations – that is not my way. You want to smoke? Please don’t. It could kill you, but it’s your right to make that choice.

    Anyway, I still don’t think that he is a Narcissist, but I am not the expert. You are!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed I am.

  9. Ugotit says:

    I didn’t want all the people who said marrying a Muslim was a big mistake to be right it was a big mistake but not because he’s Muslim but because he’s a narc I wanted our marriage to work

  10. Kate says:

    So sorry to bug you again, HG, but would a Narcissist wait four months to talk to someone they wanted to date? It would not have been difficult for my ex to talk to me – we met because he moved into the apartment three doors down from me (yes, I know – this is the name of a band!)?

    Thank you for your help!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Do you mean he moved in, then four months later spoke to you and you started to date? Or of you mean you dated, became the ex, he moved into the apartment, then waited four months to date you?

      1. Jakthenarc says:

        Lol. 😂😂🤔

      2. Jakthenarc says:

        Off topic question if I may.
        HG are you currently involved in a relationship w one or more women ?
        If so, how do you have time to have a life, do your crazy w your ladies and keep up w blogs, write books, respond to a bazillion comments etc etc etc ????

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Being effective.

      3. Kate says:

        Yes, the first one. He moved in and we saw each other at a distance. Eventually, we saw each other again when I passed by the security guard’s office where he was talking to the security guard. One day, I went to leave to go to class and when I opened my door to leave, he just so happened to be walking by. We both froze and stared at each other before he broke the silence. This is how we met four months later. What do you make of this?

      4. Yolo says:

        Stop gaslighting..

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I am not, I am seeking clarification of the question so I can ask it accurately. If the question is badly phrased, I require clarification – or shall I just ignore badly phrased questions rather than seek clarification and so people do not get answers?

      5. Yolo says:

        Awe, HG I know you don’t want to assume and provide a response that may be misleading. You could have easily referred her to consult.

  11. ANM says:

    I dont want to to friends with the Narcissist. I dont want him back. He also does not want me back. We are court ordered bind together. When i communicate to him, it’s in an Empath Supernova way. I speak in the tone and language the courts ask me to, but it is very condescending to a Narcissist. Every chance I get, I let him know he didn’t win, while looking sincere to our judge. I’m afraid this may be Challenge Fuel for him. But I think it also works, because he has also seen it is effective. He sees I won’t back down.

  12. Kate says:

    Hi HG,

    Can I add another clue and take a guess?

    He was a smoker (yuck!). I think these are traits of an Upper Lesser?

  13. Kate says:

    I picked not being sure if the person is a Narcissist. The only person that would apply for this question is my ex-husband. This year is the thirtieth anniversary of the first time that we saw each other, first time we came face-to-face a few months later, first date, etc. The last time that I laid eyes on him was eight years ago at our son’s high school graduation (I had not been told that this was even a possibility!). My ex and our son have had no communication since he was eighteen. The last time that I heard his voice was five years ago and I have no reason to believe that I ever will again. Anyway, not recent.

    I need to defer to you and your expertise to diagnose what sort of person he is. I hope that you might answer this one question – what sort of person might carry hundreds or thousands of dollars in cash at all times??

    Thank you!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. A drug dealer.
      2. A money launderer.
      3. An arms dealer.
      4. Someone who does not trust banks.
      5. Someone who is involved in a cash business who does not wish to pay a certain level of tax.
      6. A currency smuggler.

      1. Kate says:

        Thank you! Number five only. No criminal activity. Just work, work, work.

      2. Perse Ving says:

        7. A shylock. The interest may be usurious, but it won’t be cash.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          “The interest may be usurious” I see what you did there, clever.

      3. A thief
        A gambler
        A medical marijuana business owner in the US, where fed regulations forbid banks to work with biz owners.
        A show-off
        A counterfeiter

      4. E B says:

        An embezzler or peculator.
        A corrupt politician.

  14. narc affair says:

    Hi HG…im not sure if a polls been done yet for this but id be interested in more polls about the no contact phase and turning points either in breaking it or gaining strength. What contributed to breaking it or helped to resist breaking contact. I love hearing both sides. Thx 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      hank you NA, I have made a note.

      1. DebbieWolf says:


        Put ypurself as an option in the preposed poll for what helped you resist breaking no contact. Bet everyone votes on that choice and its the top percentage on the options.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha they should if they know what is good for them!

          1. Caroline says:

            Not me. Self-motivation is the biggest factor for me. So I’d have to credit self-reflection/my decision-making + hard work/determination the most. But I’d credit you (HG) with providing the knowledge base re: understanding narcissism/identifying the narcissist + understanding of NC.

            I’d also blame myself for breaking of NC, not some failing on your part.

            I rise or fall based on how much I help or hurt myself.

          2. DebbieWolf says:

            Haha HG..absolutely😁😉

      2. Yolo says:


        No need to write or do a questionnaire as to why we should no contact. GOSO

        1. HG Tudor says:


    2. Bekah B says:

      Hi Narc Affair,

      Do you feel you chose your answers in this poll because you are not an IPPS of your narc? As HG has noted several times, IPSSs are rarely devalued and are rather placed on the shelf or given comfort crumbs and intermittent engagement.. Do you feel your “golden period” has been extended and thus this is why you haven’t been able to break free because you’re coming to the conclusion it really is not that bad for you to be engaging with this person?

  15. An_eternal_student says:

    All three that i voted (unsure if a narc, think they can change, and dont want the other person to win) is all in the past tense.
    I was so addicted to winning because i couldn’t be the “loser”. In losing and letting go, believe me…i win.
    Today i dont really care if he is one or not, who he’s sleeping with, or if he can change. I have zero control over these things anyway. My life has become so much simpler when i started looking at my part and stopped using the narc to distract me from my own necessary growing.
    I desperately wanted the euphoric feelings to continue and i wanted someone to take care of me.
    It turned out the personal payment for these desires being met was too high a price.
    Until we make these decisions inside at the core…nothing will change.

    1. Bekah B says:

      Spoken from a true, whole, and internally healthy individual, I can already tell, Eternal Student.. I love this comment.. These are the things my counselor is trying to teach me now.. This is what life should be about.. Fixing yourself and only relying on your proactive actions to garner peace, contentment, and happiness..

  16. No contact.. Ha! I think we both know it’s not feasible.. I mean, you’re irreplaceable! *Hg, you are my one and only narc. I’ve yet to figure out how to go no contact with you…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You have no need to do so. I am the ultimate enemy but I am not your enemy.

      1. Nuit Étoilée says:


        1. HG Tudor says:

          I do not need to promise, I have just explained to you how it is.

    2. MLA - Clarece says:

      I like that you are still here Nuit!!

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Ditto on Nuit staying.

      2. Not So Sad says:

        * Waves to MLA ..

        How are you my beautiful virtual friend? Hope life’s treating you well .. 🙂

        I often think about you .

        NNS x

      3. Nuit Étoilée says:

        Clarece & NAngel!
        Aww! I’m just seeing this. *blush* I’ve given up on NC w Hg – as you can see; but I’m telling myself my addiction is at a more manageable level – it feels more lighthearted somehow (until the Kiss Me & Hush articles.. dear Lord help me when next we reference Lovesex – addiction w/out the deed! I’m hopeless!)

        I would miss y’all too much anyway 😊 No breakup here! (Hg will say it’s my emotional thinking conning me, but I feel love 😉)

  17. RealitySetsInnn says:

    Ok well its done. I blocked his number and I deleted all current emails. Going to try purging him again and no contact ever.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good start.

    2. Not So Sad says:

      Well done Reallity . 🙂

      Many of us have been where you are now & completely understand that it’s without doubt the most emotionally difficult things to do ..

      I imagine we all had our ways of staying NC. Mine was initially to take it by the hour,literally sitting on my hands if I needed to ..sounds crazy doesn’t it .

      At the end of everyday I go to bed and think YOU did it !

      You CAN do it too!!

      NNS x

    3. Please take a look back and remember WHAT is going on in your head/life at 2 months, like Narc Affair, I believe that is your key to success.
      Lonely? Plan an all girl wend in advance for the 2 month mark.
      Miss him? Make a list of all the worst experiences, put it in a drawer, read it 4 days in a row at 2 months.
      Please don’t torture yourself by looking at his social media. He hopes you will, so just don’t. It is not the more beautiful women that will get you, it is the np-class no-beauty dead beats that will stick, leaving you years to wonder “but her?” They do it on purpose, I think.
      One more thing: When and if you go out and party, take 3 or 4 men along, office guys, cousins, whomever! Because that’s just fun.
      You will do this

  18. Debra Sutton says:

    I have read online men use the no contact method in dating to create an obsession.

    I was no contact for 6 years. I have minimal contact. Such as responding to a text that said Merry Christmas. There is no chance of getting sucked back in to a relationship. I believe in no contact in order to give space and give time to heal. Once the control and power they had over you is gone, it’s gone forever. I never went no contact with my first husband ad we had children. Once I divorced him his power and control over me was gone. I was never at risk of being sucked back in to the abuse.

  19. narc affair says:

    I chose three that really stuck out to me.
    1. Easier to put up with than the pain of no contact
    2. The narcissism is random and not all the time.
    3. Id miss the good times.

    A huge one also is my addiction and codependancy on him. He came along at a time i felt low about my marriage and served as a buffer and escape. Its been 7 yrs and it scares me to think how life would be without him. Ive tried the breakup thing twice and could never go full out no contact. The emotional thinking is too strong as are the bonds formed. A friend of mine said to start implementing changes and boundaries but again i find the fear of losing him too great.
    I look at all the victims here that have gone no contact and worked thru the pain and uncertainty and i have so much respect, admiration and envy for the strength the had to make that choice and execute it.

    1. geyserempath says:

      Narc Affair…my answers are exactly what yours are and your sentiments mine as well. All I can say is “ditto!”

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi geyser empath…our stories are very similiar. I hope youve been doing ok. Shelving hurts and you deserve better! 💓

    2. Bekah B says:

      Hi Narc Affair,

      Do you feel this is because you are not an IPPS of your narc? As HG has noted several times, IPSSs are rarely devalued and are rather placed on the shelf or given comfort crumbs and intermittent engagement.. Do you feel your “golden period” has been extended and thus this is why you haven’t been able to break free because you’re coming to the conclusion it really is not that bad for you to be engaging with this person?

    3. realitysetsinnn says:

      Narc Affair

      I have not gone straight no contact. In 3 whole years since our break up. I have only been able to go 2 months tops without sending him an email. I have changed emails and phone numbers only to give them to him. Yes pathetic lol. So your not alone! This crap is hard to get over! Period. I often think I must be a weak woman for being like this. But anyways. I just wish I could go more then two dang months….would feel so good to get to 3 months….90 whole days straight of not reaching out! Who knows what in the world he must think of me now that he has gotten an email every two months for three whole years. I have blocked him only to turn around and unblock him. I’m sure he laughs at me. He has commented that he tried to return my email but when he did it bounced back to him. Which was true because if he didn’t answer me within a day….I would get mad and change my email lol…..anyways I’ll stop now. I could go on and on…..

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi reality…ty for your reply. 2 months! Wow ive only gone 1 week! In those 2 months did you find it got more difficult with no contact or was there a turning point where you regained yourself and strength? Im guessing by the fact you broke no contact it was difficult. What usually triggers you to break contact? Thx and dont be hard on yourself its very complex and difficult emotionally.
        Youre right tho we send a message each time to the narc that they have us ensnared and will go back. They count on it.

      2. geyserempath says:

        narc affair. Thank you. I keep hearing I deserve better, but I can’t believe it. I was married 28 years and yet the MLV narc was SO overwhelmingly charming. I still love him.

    4. Catherine says:

      Hello narc affair,

      I understand how you feel. 7 years is a long time and you’ve built your life around him and the good times you’ve had together. No contact and working through the pain is excruciatingly hard but also rewarding when you start to feel that your life finally is your own again. In my case there was no choice though, there was this horrible explosion and everything I believed in went up in those flames of physical violence; I had no choice but to deal with the aftermath. Still I admit shamefully that I tried to contact him right afterwards to try to work through it. Now I see that as insane behaviour. There was really no choice, I’d reached the breaking point. I don’t think you’re there yet, but maybe you’ll be there in the future? I’m sure I wouldn’t have had the strength to break it off if he didn’t break all boundaries with me. I had to face the no contact; it’s more difficult to have the choice not to. I hope things will work out for you the best way.

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi catherine…ty so much for your post! You hit it on the nail! There hasnt been a point yet other than one years ago when i went no contact for a week thats motivated me into leaving. If my narc physically abused me or verbally abused me without a doubt id be gone! This is in no way to judge those that stay in these conditions bc we are all different with individusl thresholds to abuse and circumstances. I know in my case i would never have stayed. My situation is more a covert situation and then the moral aspect of it as well weighs heavily on me. Theres also lifestyle issues too not getting enough sleep etc.
        I think bc its been so mild its made it more difficult to up and leave.
        When i read the things HG has done to his exes i wouldve up and gone the first time.
        In the end it doesnt matter bc i know deep in my heart its wrong yet the emotional side tells me i love him and enjoy our time together. Idk maybe one day itll become more clear or maybe i need to make changes and that will either change the relationship or end it.
        I hope youve been doing well 🤗💓

      2. Catherine says:

        Hi again narc affair,
        I do think it will eventually become more clear to you; you need that breaking point and it’s like you say so individual when you’re limits are reached. I was horribly emotionally abused and I didn’t have any doubts about it. I knew he was mistreating me. He was what I considered quite sadistic. Still I stayed. I think now afterwards that I was very confused by his manipulations, they were so many and layered the whole life we had together, and the gaslighting that made me doubt my reality, all the projections and the blame shifting left me bewildered and stunned. I learned to step on glass and to try to anticipate his behaviour on a day by day basis. Each trauma had to be carefully stepped around or met by applying it to external factors or to my own behaviour; otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to live like that. I almost feel a bit sorry for myself now for staying. My breaking point was the physical violence; I guess not because it was worse than the psychological abuse; it wasn’t; but because finally I had physical proof of him being disordered somehow. It sounds crazy to me now, but I remember thinking in those terms.

        In your case it’s so mild as you say and then it’s even more difficult to know for sure. You’ll get to the point where you will know; I’m rooting for you!
        And thank you; I’m doing much better now. At least the worst part of the grief and the anger is over. Hugs!

  20. FreeAtLast says:

    We will often end up at the same social events so it’s better if we are at least talking. We were good friends once. And it’ll also not to make it so uncomfortable for the others in the group.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Actually it is better if you are not talking. That is engaging with the narcissist and the suggestion you should is your emotional thinking conning you into interacting more with him to feed your addiction.
      If you have had an extensive period of no contact and you have purged and got your ET under control, you may well be able to handle the occasional short interaction at the occasional social function (but if you can avoid doing so, that is the better option) but bear in mind each interaction has the potential for you to hit your tipping point (see my response at Little Acons No. 22)

      1. Jess says:

        We really need to consider ourselves addicted. The narcissist is a drug and we are for them as well. Learn to self supply. Get validation from yourself and then the narcissist isn’t important.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          We are all addicts Jess.

      2. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

        HG, wise words: “we are all addicts”. I was thinking about those lonely persons (fewer-nowadays) living somewhere isolated, by themselves, in the wild. They do that because they feel the need for a superior spiritual experience. Different needs (emotional fuel, alcohol, games, someone to take care of and love, God, …) searching for survival patterns- to give life a meaning.

  21. Bekah B says:

    The only devil I have left is the contact in my own mind and that is when I give him power. No contact is far more layered than I originally thought. It’s not just not speaking to them and I learned that the hard way because “surely I was different”.

    I really love these last few sentences, 12345.. Very powerful..

  22. Me says:

    Closure, answers, belonings, seeing the kids … but nooooooooooo the ST was his thing. Idiot!

  23. Tirzah says:

    None of these factors prevented me from leaving the narc. I wanted to make the nac feel as wasted and discarded as I did. So I read all I could and found the weakness and used them to my advantage until the nac finally was spent and no longer wanted contact with me. I feel I have some narcissistic tendencies as well so it was easy after I figured out what he wanted. I made myself a great supply one minute and his worst nightmare the next. He finally had enough and walked away.

    1. Skc8130 says:

      What did he want ? Curious.

      1. Yolo says:


  24. 12345 says:

    The options didn’t really apply. My original no contact was half-assed because I wanted to see if he would hoover me. I did get hoovered after I instigated a hoover. It sucked and was less than satisfying. I then got the gift of starting over. Thankfully, it was only a phone call and nothing more.

    The last thing to go was blocking his cell and all the truncated lines at his office (he’s way too lazy to call from another number). The tiny strand of hope I had after well over a year is gone. The acceptance of not ever knowing if he attempted hoovering again is in place. I’m not accessible in any other way. No social media of any kind, my email is set up to delete immediately should he email me, I live two hours away, he doesn’t know my address, no shared friends and I would never risk being at a social event, funeral, etc. that he might come close to attending.

    The only devil I have left is the contact in my own mind and that is when I give him power. No contact is far more layered than I originally thought. It’s not just not speaking to them and I learned that the hard way because “surely I was different”.

    1. NarcAngel says:


      Youve come a long way and its a long hard road. Proud of you.

      1. 12345 says:

        Thank you. NA!!!

  25. Bibi says:

    Thankfully I am able to keep no contact, but I answered as to what my mindset was before I went no contact.

    1) I would miss the good things.

    2) I held out hope he was only going though a phase. (Albeit it never ended and went on for years and years.)

    I still do miss the good things from the Golden Period, notably our intellectual talks.

    Sometimes when I read a book or watch a film I wish I could share it with him and hear what he thinks, but that is simply impossible now.

    1. Bekah B says:

      “I still do miss the good things from the Golden Period, notably our intellectual talks.

      Sometimes when I read a book or watch a film I wish I could share it with him and hear what he thinks, but that is simply impossible now.”

      I can relate, one million percent, Bibi.. But I don’t miss those things, as of late.. My devaluation and abuse has been wayy too harsh to be glossed over.. Just because of it alone, it is very difficult to be conscious of and really get into the “feeling” of the good times.. Every time I really get into “oneness” with my feelings at the current moment when I meditate, I just really cannot shake how bad I felt when I was being treated so harshly.. That’s what sticks out to me the most and keeps me from reminiscing about the good times..

  26. realitysetsinnn says:

    Wow I couldn’t click any of the boxes as none of them apply to me. The main reason I had a problem going no contact was that I missed him. Curiosity and addiction to him. None of those were listed. Also I’m the past it was because I couldn’t get him out of my mind! Or sometimes I just wanted to hear his voice. Anyways

    1. Bekah B says:

      Curiosity when HE initiates contact with me.. That’s what I put, too..

  27. Catherine says:

    For me, initially and right after the explosive end to our relationship I didn’t know he was a narcissist or that he had a personality disorder. I knew I’d been somehow cunningly abused for a long time, but it took me some time and some extensive research to ascertain what was wrong with him. So in the early days I tried for a week or two to make amends with him; I texted and wanted to solve our « issues », not being able to believe that there would be no closure at all between us. Afterwards I had contact with him maybe another month or so because I wanted my property back, the keys to my apartment. When he refused to hand over those keys I went no contact; breaking it once during the Christmas holidays.

    So I chose out of reasons and a mindset to do with disbelief that he was a narcissist in the beginning, I still sometimes consider the « what if he’s not? » even though I do know it’s quite obvious he is; back then I still thought he could change; also wanting my property back, and finally during those Christmas holidays I think I broke the no contact regime because I missed the good parts of being with him; also I was desperate for closure. A bit of a mixed answer; I know.

  28. Carol M says:

    At the first try, I wasn’t familiar of the concept of narcissism (even though I had known several people with NPD in my own family) so I was in doubt whether I was overreacting, specially since the narc himself alwaus criticised me for making too much drama. When I tried again, I blocked him on cell phone and Facebook but I used to “peep” him once in a while to check his status and to evaluate whether there were clues of him being with a new IPPS. After he started the Initial Grand Hoover and stalked my friends I went full No Contact, made new profiles on all social media, changed the card on my phone and had him blocked in all devices. So far, so good! I am fully aware that if I wasn’t allowed in the Tudor court I would have been still in contact with the nex.

  29. Sharon Marinucci says:


  30. jggtn says:

    Interesting poll. In my case our Co-parenting relates to our three dogs. That problem will resolve itself once I find an appropriate caretaker to watch my 2 of our 3 animals. I’ll have to walk away from the third (hers), an innocent casualty of disconnection.

    She’s also my trustee and working associate. Not pursuing further work after the current heavy lifting is complete seems the easiest solution and will coincide with removing her from the trust (though, oddly, she’s very trustworthy).

    The “good times” are the most poignient. There were many and I’ll miss them. Grieving that loss can be mitigated by creating new good times with non-narcos; something I’m starting to get my mind around.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Youll fare better with the dogs for love, loyalty, good times, and memories. They’ll cost you less financially too.

  31. Julia White says:

    Is it possible that Narc’s are demon possessed?? I just recently realized I was married to a narcissist… a yr an a half ago I began wonderin if he was influenced by a demonic force…

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. narc affair says:


    2. realitysetsinnn says:

      Lol!!!!! Yes does seem possible. 😈 I mean they act just like Lucifer!

    3. Bibi says:

      The Father of Christ Compels You!

      1. realitysetsinnn says:

        The Power of Christ compels you ! Or is it the Father of Christ compels you. ? I always though it was The power of Christ compels you! Anyways I’m only going by my memory of the Exorcist! I could be wrong.

      2. Bibi says:


        I think you are right. I think it is power. That would make sense.

        That film is great to watch when buzzed off wine. The sequels got progressively worse, though.

      3. narc affair says:


      4. narc affair says:

        Darn theres no priest emoji 😂

    4. Jess says:

      Religion is false. There is no God or demons or the devil. There is only energy. Religion comes close with darkness and light but it’s not real.

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi jess…youre entitled to your opinion i do believe in god. As far as narcissists being possessed i dont believe that.

    5. Carrie Khaddour says:

      Yes it is possible Julia ! here goes a lenghthy reply , But A detailed reply to your question I believe needs explanation rather than Yes I do simply, to answers it in all capacities why you feel to ask it! read as little as or as much as you wish to gain insight along with the others why you can Even be assured either possessesd or oppressed, however. that goes against the grain of the society in which we live that has devolved into a rejection of Gods existence![ Atheist]or even worse the [Agnostic] could not care less either way perspective! None the Less I discovered knowledge From King Solomons writings he had many that are not in the Holy Bible he was after all King of the Day in which he lived and nearly everything was recorded much as a modern day King or Queen president or prime Minister of today will be. King Solomon Was gifted with a divine knowledge given him as an answer to a prayer he made to God upon Installation as King of Israel ,He asked God for One thing Wisdom whereby he would become capable to Rule the People Fairly and execute Justice for the poorer persons as well as fairness to all persons! God was pleased with this prayer and More than answered the request .God imparted to Solomon a portion of his own Wisdom and said of it that never before or after would there be such found in a human being of such Wisdom and Intelligence God sealed this with a Signet Ring upon it were engraved smaller seals or engravings which God had placed upon the Signent ring this was given to Solomon by the Priest by which Solomon was given dominion over the beasts was imparted Intelligence in all matters of Astronomy Math Science Architecture etc above all The demon infidels were also made subject to him when matters necessitated such as moving great stone and hence forth is why the likes of Solomons accomplishments can not be explained by todays standards[The Secrets of the Freemason Societies are based upon these seals and what the purpose of each imparts! The names of the rejected infidels of God the aspects of these demons and what they feed uponoan the objectives they have was known to King Solomon by the demand to make them known unto the King [ A direct order to submit name,rank and objective was individually executed to each delivered in the direct Presence before the King Solomon and each was to manifest itself in its true form before him !The Jezebel spirit one of these especially EVIL is a fallen angel It especially likes Women and rather is repulsed by Men whom it seeks to destroy but also inhabits them as a means by which it can feed off Women and Destroy the Host male in one Shot so to speak ,This especially EVIL SPIRIT is about POWER and CONTROL and operates thru LUST its most effective INVITATION and EFFICIENT means/The Mission is to Destroy the Human Family ,Win Souls for It’s Leader/Master SATAN [the Original Narcissist] the Jezebel demonic spirit has no body and in order to operate efficiently and obtain its mission objectives must have a body human in order to achieve its objectives or at least that of an animal less preferable!THIS SPIRIT IS EVIL and its greatest fear apart from GOD is EXPOSURE!The Objective is to Destroy and Consume HUMAN SOULS and it enters the human body and does this most effectively by geceiving the human by way of false promises of POWER/CONTROL/ BEAUTY/ SEX APPEAL .MAGNETIC ATTRACTION to BOTH SEXES as well as a variety of other human temptations all covered by POWER and CONTROL over the MINDS of OTHER PERSONS This Spirit is the Male female Narc /Jezebel demon and it needs an invitation to enter the human is enticed by false ideas and human weaknesses to individual suited temptations once the door is opened the parasitical demon operates in and out of the human host and in fact can gain access to TORMENT its VICTIMS thru HUMAN FLESH it attempts to destroy the MIND BODY and SPIRIT of its victims and to permeate the realm of action in a confusion and Chaos that provides undetection of its host human,It deals in LIES /DECEIT/TREACHERY/LUST/and cleverly can enter and leave at will.hence forth the CRAZY MAKING NARC! Remember its Especially hateful of the MALE which is especially tempted thru Sex/Power/Control/ Wealth and Influence, This Demon Invites Abused Children and is built by operating in a Narcistic/Jezebel oppressed Parent to either build a another consuming vessel or to destroy the child mentally if it refuses/ULTIMATE POWER TACTIC .The World in which we live is a BATTLEGROUND though manny are brainwashed and numbed De-Sensitized to this REALITY.The jezebel/Narc influences and oppresses most of us humans in some manner either but direct Inhabitation or by uppressive indirect victimizing of them IT is in FACT POWERFUL WICKED and EVIL beyond the LIMITATIONS of our MINDS to Perceive this ! Why does a LOVING GOD permit this you may Ask! The Answer is FREE WILL God has given Humanity the Gift of FREEWILL to chose for him or herself one of the 2 Destinies of Human Souls,If We did Not See the effects of EVIL or Feel it though PAIN! The Human would just seek to pleasure himself thru the Senses and fallen humanity is SELFISH Rebellious and at enmity with its CREATOR GOD ! God Provided an ESCAPE An Alternative and it is There for the Asking to any who request a way But it is up to each one of us to ASK for him or herself HELP from GOD! Free will was granted upon Mankind to Choose The one LIE SATAN tells humanity is that GOD wants you as a SLAVE he Denies you rights HE does not Want you to enjoy yourself or be Happy or to experience LIFE.As Lucifer The Arch Angel Before the fall from Grace -Lucifer Stood before GOD! Think of the information SATAN has as the Fallen reject about his Creator .He was there at the creation of the world serving the FACE of GOD it is said of him that he was Superior in intelligence Beauty and power to the other Angelic creation The Angels obviously are given options in how they serve and options on methods of Service as to how they accomplish this meaning they can THINK for themselves as We a bit lower in design as Angels are too Granted To Think for ourselves-Lucifer thought humans posed a threat to him! He thought GOD LOVED them too much and Spent a Great Deal of time On them and even made HE the Great Archangel Lucifer and the others of the 8th realm of heavenly host serve them how repulsive this thought was to his Pride! so he plotted and deceived the Angels of lesser intelligence in scheme to overthrow God even his own Creator to renounce the Human Creation God was Proceeding to Implement! It FAILED! but it did accomplish PROBLEMS,it resulted in Lucifer and the ones who were taken in to this attempt by Satans deceit to be CAST DOWN -OUT of Gods Kingdom Banished with that Fall Lucifer was Stripped of his Holy Name His Beauty his Power and He was given Satan in place as a name he retained his Knowledge but lost his Power! So What after all is Going to attack Those wretched Humans which he attributes to his Loss of all his gifts/Just as the Narcissist The Original can Not Accept he is the fault of his own undoing he could not care less of those whom he also cused to fail that now quarrel amongst themselves about blame and superiority yet Satan retained Knowledge Since he has lost POWER What is Left ? MIMICRY -FALSE ILLUSION DECEIT and CLEVERNESS they say knowledge is power but once having had true power he can still master its impersonation though power has been taken Satan Knows his Vexing Clever Kowledge is more than enough for we Humans ! Satin Knows How we are Made and he knows the problems we pose to each other if he can deceive us TRICK us into serving him in place of God GOD is After all the Maker of All That means We were designed too for a PURPOSE we either find and fill that or we reject and deny that We are Given the Autonomy to Chose God is Not wanting Slaves He wants us to serve his Infinite Greatness out of LOVE for Him He does not enforce upon you to LOVE HIM You Chose to He also does not Enforce HELL upon You ! Likewise You CHOSE it by rejection of him you fall to the False imitation of God which is Satan Who does indeed have his Rule of a kingdom made especially for him to preside in called HELL and because he is in FACT no CREATOR but an IMITATOR it does not offer any real comforts that last but only imitates these that are Illusions to trick human souls as he did lesser ranking Angels He can not Give You True promises His ability is That he can Deceive you for a time LIMITED BY GOD in order to allow you the Option of Following Him and His SELFIE or to FOLLOW GOD and his SELFLESS GOODNESS The Good ness of God Has ALL in ALL Made ALL and is ALL he does not seek anything from us He has made us as well God is Lacking for NOTHING But he Loves his Creation and Wants to Be Loved by it LOVE IS SIMPLE HE IS LOVE HE DEFINES IT and wants Us To LOVE HIM in return _ The Evil SATAN SEETHES actually Satan Envies Mankind He envies Gods Love for us and he knows it Hurts God That humans are lost and reject him because They are rejecting the TRUTH theTRUTH the Narcissists ENEMY! Satan Hates Humans all humans he Hates the demons who obey him HE HATES HIMSELF What do you see in all This Writing ? Why is psychology so effective in describing this malady but so ineffective at relieving its effects from victims or the Narcs themselves Narcs imitate their controller they are the mini me army grunts of Satan and his rangers elite _as any Army you will find lesser soldiers and Officers and Sgt LT and Generals the complete array down to friendly civilians who covertly assist the army on objectives I learned in College training to be a Firefighter and Forest Firefighting. that Government and all Authority based operations operates in a Military fashion the most efficiently where ever you need order to meet objectives you find military guideles operating even in opposisional tactics such as cult or terroristic operations it will be standard operationing procedure .CHESS the game of KINGS is military in ranking and limiting by rank of pieces as to movement within the game! The Elite Narcissist is in my opinion a very self -disciplined person which you may see or not quickly alert to it in my belief it offers reliability to a point as regards responsibility of the person This would be quite acceptible if not preferable in employment and societal standards meaning it gets on well most anywhere adding to the subterfuge,Narcissist are common really and a certain degree of tolerance is afforded them always it may even reflect desirability in broad arenas of society In fact If a were to choose a position were I necessitated to place myself it would be the Narcs Lt. a highly preferable position compared to the others, even it can be comfortable self serving and prestigeous being a Loyal to the fault capable more so when on a cause I believe in I am an un- reckonable entity to meet for those creating opposition in my pursuit of the desired objective ! I do this from an Empathetic Understanding of the oppositional side yet with determination to overcome it by agreement or less preferable agree to disagree _This is afforded me by my nature of extreme sensitivity to my environments and the fluctuations /variables within the given circumstance I can feel the acceptance or animosity of those I encounter I sense the weakness and the motive of others whether it is based on malevolence or some social inadequacy .I sense the capacities and abilities of those I encounter and the belief they have of the statements they represent as H.G Tudor has stated in another of his informational looks into the dynamics of Narcissism The Empath themselves have Narcississtic traits to a lesser or higher degree based on the individual these too will be disciplined in the greater empath to a high degree perhaps even overcome altogether .It is when I suffer a Treachery That My Empathy takes a powder and I unleash for a time limited to the nature of the dragon needing slain the Super-Nova effect Coined by H.G Tudor that is a magnificent term to describe what happens when you push the Empath to the Edge of extinction an elite only H.G Tudor would be likely to offer insight on ! As for My thought An Elite would not Do this very likely knowing what their objective is what they are doing and why the Elite is not Sloppy and the Intelligence is more refined and high.I have a current battle with the medhigher -mid range clever not Smart more common than unique and so selfish he cannot wait to achieve the objective ,so proud of himselfie that he underestimates the capabilities of his victim/target .An Elite in my thinking would know themself and the target far better than to be so sloppy and clumsy to act as the infidel nemesis narc has in my life.It is by H.G Tudors Information that I have been able to Coin the terrible 2 male baby king into the infantile label still likely higher than he truly deserves,This is my doing I am In Super-Nova opperation collision course in my galactical battle with the Narc and only one of us is going to come out alive unless something drastically changes from his perspective I am Locked on with Fuel to Spare that his little chassis cannot run thru his lacking machine EXPOSION! Is Launched and the empathetic Warhead is in flight Target in Sight and bellyside in position to drop every single thing in evidence form from the time he first thought it would serve him to attempt his foibles going back to his birth country Syria and including his ex wife smear that exhibits a clear strategy concocted for a purpose that is not looked upon well by our country I have 8 gigabytes On reserve that I do not intend to deploy UNLESS? the ten lb do not effect the traitor his monkey is spineless and was not given enough truth of her posistion to to look anything but proud of her guilt yet proved on the record the absolute Proof that his conditional very rigid terms were 1# aided and Abetted even encouraged by her 2# collaberared and assisted by her3# covered up by malicious intent by her Evidence enough to Be the friendly FIRE by which the Triangulating Narc a.k.a TYRANT /VICTIM is EXPOSED to be what he is if I were not to bring another single piece of evidence forth to the court. That will NOT be the CASE! I have a ten lb. arsenal of TRUTH to deliver direct if it I do not feel the record sees adequately what has evolved here I will deliver 5 more 1bs and reserved 8 full gygabytes of pictures emails and cell phone logs Website profiles and activity on them gaslighting smearing Lying Deceiving family friends aquaintences and fellow employees how sad he left with out insuring his SIM cards he had retained like teeth from the victims he conquered in battle were left behind , he understimated the capability of his most able target to have them read /translated and the photos coding to be decoded into the photographs and video clips as he took them and his language translated to english Which I fully intend to Send to the United States Embassy to Syria in Amman Jordan as well as the Syrian Embassy to EXPOSE THE TRUTH of THIS DEVIL In SUCH A WAY HE wil never Slither Out unscathed either in his own family or country or this one and its all HIS PRECIOUS TRUTH DATED and a stone is not LEFT uncovered In it all! Once he processed Thru Court Its The I.C.E/ E.R.U who he must N.A,R.C/ This E.M.P.A.T.H has had it Revenge you think maybe some in the beginning ,how could a living human feeling person not be angry hurt or grieved ! This man Knew neither how much I cared How Much I Knew Nor How Much he Lost! He stated I did not respect him! NO I grew to DISRESPECT him by a trail of DISGUSTING DISRESPECT for HIMSELF! and he says I Took his Dignity as a Man from him OH! TRUTH reveals this low class whore can’t spell dignity much expect his hidden life to not only reveal his LACK of Dignity for himself but his des-respect of even his Fathers or Mothers much the same has his monkey with the crooked sagging butt crack left her dead Fathers Name in the Dirt along with her childrens names and her Mothers who exploited her son in law and grand children and great grandchildren by endorsing and flattery sucking my husband at our kitchen table by skype or messenger in My Home but hiding the fact from her daughters husband for some Narc Flattery like her daughter Not to mention the fact, trying to have the fellow Baptists of our area think she is so dedicated to CHRIST JESUS in her Church activities I wonder did he paint her toenails too this Mr Dignity that is the the only thing that we may never know I will leave for him as fig leaf by which to hide this secret behind Forbid I uncovered them all before molting time!

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Well theres 10 minutes I’ll never get back. If God existed, I’d like to think he’d have prevented me from flat-lining half way through that.

      2. K says:

        I think I am an agnostic atheist. And, although my MMRN appeared possessed, he wasn’t; it was just his narcissism.

        When I was little I got in trouble at my catholic school because I told the teacher that Adam and Eve was a fake story to explain creation and that the bible was nothing but a bunch of made up stories.

        The nuns didn’t like me very much.

      3. Perse Ving says:

        Wait…………Is this SEO keywords?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha.

      4. Star says:


      5. Yolo says:

        Sounds like something you should report to authorities.

        I’ve read the jezebel spirit is connected to narcissism and it seeks to devour the church.

        I hope you find peace and comfort in God.

  32. Bekah B says:

    I thoroughly considered each of these options and the only one I could mark was, “I have to co-parent with the narcissist”.. The other thoughts literally don’t even cross my mind.. But, more often times than not, when my narcissist re-engages with me and initiates the contact (I seldom initiate contact with him), the reasoning behind him communicating with me has nothing to do with our daughter.. I eventually find out what he wants because I respond to him and engage with him.. The reason I do this is out of curiosity.. I think that’s a good option that’s missing as a choice in this poll.. Perhaps one cannot go no contact because they fall victim to always responding to the narcissist in order to figure out what they want..

  33. K says:

    If I did not have to co-parent with my MMRN, I would pack up and move far away. Contact is very very low right now.

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