The 5 False Promises of the Narcissist


The promise is used by the narcissist repeatedly, whether through Promised Gain or Future Faking, it is a mainstay of our manipulations against you, but what are the five most often used false promises that the narcissist is using against you and what does the narcissist ACTUALLY mean?

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5 False Promises of the Narcissist

40 thoughts on “The 5 False Promises of the Narcissist

  1. WhoCares says:

    HG – thank-you for the power of words; they certainly can be very uplifting or very insidious little things…

  2. K says:

    Nuit Étoilée
    I liked the Grand Scheme; it sounds maniacal and devilish.

    1. Nuit Étoilée says:

      Thank you, K! That’s how I meant it – I immediately apologized, but that comment is in moderation.

      1. K says:

        Oh no! Your comment is in moderation. You are in big trouble, Nuit Étoilée!

        I know what you meant and I thought is was a “hoot” when I read: The Grand Scheme. Thanks for the laugh.

      2. Oh K, you have nooooo idea…. I really just couldn’t find the right word – and had no idea how to look for it – your comment has likely helped reduce my punishment.. I hope…
        – trouble is my middle name?

        I really should just learn when to leave well enough alone… *still working on that… (just be quiet, NE!)

        1. K says:

          Ha ha ha….don’t worry, Nuit Étoilée, I was only teasing you. HG seems pretty laid back most of the time and he reads/understands comments very well. Don’t let fear inhibit your genuineness; it is a very nice quality to have.

  3. SuperXena says:

    I believe there is not a single element of “fantasy” in The Grand Design or anything related to it.

    I believe it is a perfectly , meticulously, synchronised and calculated design.
    Not a single “fantasy “ element in it.

    1. Nuit Étoilée says:

      On HG’s planning, I’m sure you’re right, SX – I meant it’s my fantasy at the moment – something I daydream about.

      1. SuperXena says:

        Thank you for clarifying Nuit Etoilée. I understand now what you meant.

    2. MB says:

      Where is the Grand Design discussed?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        It isn’t discussed, MB.

      2. MB says:

        Others alluded to knowing something about it. That’s what made me curious.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It has been mentioned in name only.

        2. K says:

          Your comment reminded me of # 2. Insider Jokes, located on 7 Back-Handed Provocations.

          “We will use terms that amuse us and our followers considerably but seem meaningless to you.”

    3. Carol M says:

      Absolutelly agreed.

  4. MB says:

    It’s a wonderful plan to go public! As we have seen on the blog, you are a delightful person. No need to hide. You shouldn’t be defined by your narcissism any more than someone should be defined by any other “difference”. It takes all kinds of people to make this world go around.
    Everyone should be free to live their truth. Express your needs to the people in your life that care about you. There are many, many variations of an “alternate” lifestyle. Who is to say it couldn’t be worked out with patience and understanding. (Spoken like a true empath, right?)

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I’m far from delightful

      1. I appreciate that you make it a point to have patience with us. And that you are observant, have cognitive empathy, communicate well, and are willing to teach us about narcissism.
        Oh, and that you have a good sense of humor, most of the time.
        Some may find that downright delightful, for a narcissist.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          A fair point.

      2. MB says:

        Malign Dragon…”come out” on the Dr. Phil show. Give him a run for his money!

      3. Twilight says:

        That made me giggle HG.

        Delightful is not the word I would use for you.

    2. K says:

      Quick! Get out of the water! I see a great white shark and he is headed right for you! Be careful. HG is defined by his sociopathy and narcissism; he is a predator and he is damn good at it.

      1. MB says:

        Thank you K. You sound like my best friend! She worries about her naive friend with a big heart too 😘

        1. K says:

          We empaths have to have each others back. Lord knows, the narcs in our lives don’t give a rat’s ass about us.

      2. MB says:

        Are you speaking from personal experience with the great white?

        1. K says:

          The closest I have ever been to a great white is the movie Jaws, however, I have referred to HG, and narcs in general, as being similar to sharks because of their predatory nature.

      3. MB says:

        K, I live in a land far, far away from Lord Tudor. My fuel may be potent and sweet, but it wouldn’t be worth swimming across the pond for. Much closer prey for the Great White to be sure!

        1. K says:

          You are absolutely right MB. The narcissist will choose the “fuel dessert” that is the closest to him or her; they like to conserve energy. So you are definitely safe in a land far, far away across the pond.

  5. Nuit Étoilée says:

    *sigh* I needed this today. But I love your words!
    I’ve always loved words.. language(s)…

    but, I appreciate the truth.

    Hg, How are you going to balance all this honesty when you “go public”? Won’t this affect your prospective partners?

    *although I’m guessing with your surplus of charm, there will barely be an effect… (*yikes)

    1. 69revolver says:

      HG is going public? Really?

      1. Nuit Étoilée says:

        If we live long enough! He has mentioned it as part of the Grand Scheme, but there are no concrete nor imminent plans, just fantasy at the moment.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Grand Design.

      2. *Oops.. I knew that wasn’t quite right.. but I had no way of finding the correct terminology – begging indulgence, your Excellency…
        (although Grand Scheme seems entirely plausible, yes? – j/k! running away!!)

        – but here’s a question: any interviews coming up?
        (never miss a chance to hear your voice.. especially interacting “live”)

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I have been asked to appear for WNAAD again and have confirmed I will appear.
          There are a couple of separate interviews which have been sought which I am considering.

    2. Carol M says:

      When he goes public, I will be first in line to kiss him.

  6. Kensey says:

    “I’m all yours” him to me almost daily. This became my private joke as I pictured him in front of full length mirror practicing.Towards the end, I discovered he had an email folder of -things to say to women- …that was like #7. No shit,true. LOLOL

  7. W says:

    Lol my midrange, once told me, (as we were cheating!) that he would never cheat on me if he were with me, because “was faithful”.

    My LMR /UL narcoholic tired to preventative Hoover me when I was on y way out by saying “I will always be your friend”
    I told him to go fuck himself on the head. He isn’t worthy of my friendship.

  8. Kim says:

    HG – Did your mother ever physically cheat on your father that you know of? Did she ever physically leave or go away at all or was it mostly present silent treatments?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I suspect she did. I have no clear evidence. There were some absent silent treatments yes – my father dressed them up as her “visiting people”.

  9. EC says:

    Just like you said H.G.,..when I know…I go. Stay no contact.

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