A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 58

clarece letter

 

“The passing time that I thought was torture widening the gap between us, was actually my friend allowing clarity to set in.
My God, how I loved you.
I love me more.
Fuck you.”
Clarece
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16 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 58”

  1. I was all settled in to read a long letter. This is fantastic!!! One of my many therapists always said to use ten words or less to make a point. You nailed it!!

  2. I don’t really get the ‘love yourself’ thing at all. I’m extremely annoying.:)

  3. I like your letter, Clarece!

    I’m not writing a letter to nex because I have nothing more to say than: “My God, how I loved you. I love me more.” I wouldn’t use the “Fuck you!” because that’s already too much energy spent and I know that would mean fuel to nex (when I said those words, his eyes sparkled). I chose to ignore him in written, mind (if the everpresence manifests I’m careful to send it away ASAP by telling myself how useless and damaging it is) or…person.

    Good choice for the image, Tudor, as always!

  4. Time is the friend that allowed the clarity for the victim to realize that her focus was off, lacking in self-love, lacking in self-care, because the narcissist`s mind games methods, false love bombing, psychological torture, etc put all focus on the narcissist. The LACK of self-love (self-love: caring for oneself first always, then healthy to care of others) is what makes an empath an easy target to a narcissistic sociopath. This lack of self love could have developed from childhood. For empaths, this is fixable and they can go on to live happier and healthier lives. If the empath does not heal and gain full self-love then she will fall for another narcissist; the narcissist false love in the beginning is a mirror of herself, he mirrors her, she is loving herself, the thing that she lacks. He knows exactly what she lacks, somehow. Love first of all is complete acceptance, unconditional acceptance. Do we completely accept ourselves? Love ourselves? Do we believe we are beautiful? We empaths better truly know we are all these things, if not then let’s heal from whatever happened to hurt our self love. We can be cured.

    1. Speaker one, I love your comments.
      And yes you are right with what you’ve said.
      But what is hard is when you literally have gone from narcissist to narcissist to narcissist, (different types) and they’ve all impounded on the same weaknesses or vulnerabilities or imperfections you have. So as quick as you try to heal, you get torn down again…. And it’s not until a couple of months ago when I came across Tudor on YouTube, I suddenly realised why. Why this, why that, and it’s LOT to take in. It’s really mind blowing, when you think of all the times you’ve tried to help, or trying desperately to work it out, thinking you are or must be the problem. But then you realise all the different aspects of psychological/mental/sexual/physical abuse they use. And you are in denial. You literally cannot get your head around everything. It’s just too much. I’ve been feeling terrific anger at HG and projecting at him, because I have nowhere else to put it. No it’s not right perhaps, but my mind is in turmoil. I literally do not know where to begin to heal. My Narc father, and the various Narc relationships I’ve had, have literally left me with nothing. And I’m out of control Because of it. Having borderline makes everything worse. You cannot express yourself in appropriate ways. You get misunderstood. You feel everyone is against you. You have so much anger and hurt inside of you, you feel like you are bouncing off the walls. I’m married to a good man now, and have a stable relationship, but finding out everything has made me confused and bewildered and like a Jekyll and Hyde type character….
      I cry all the time, then im angry and upset again, and it just goes on and on and on. To think I’ve had years of therapy, and none of them told me it was because your father was a Narc why he did all these things. And why he is the weird strange way he is. Wtf?!?!? I literally feel like I’ve gone SUPERNOVA! But something inside has burst it’s banks….(Though I’m not entirely sure what that is) Literally cannot hold back now any longer all that has fucked me up!

  5. IT is the best, once you learn how to use it! Go out, have lunch, get in shape, buy a new dress, have a date, smile, be happy– it is the very best gift they ever give us once we learn to use it properly!

    1. I agree Empress. Go out and be your beautiful self. Unlearn every negative thing they hammered into our self esteem. It’s TIME to shine!

  6. I love this – the gap the light that sets in. The time away that is really hard and then gets to be a friend our best best friend.

    Short to the point – we all shall love ourselves more.
    Thanks C.

  7. I love this bc it offers hope. Hope for those afraid of that gap and afraid to let go. It shows how emotional thinking can be wrong. Most of all it shows strength! 🤗

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