Poll : Which School of Narcissist Has Ensnared You?

POLL - HG WANTS TO KNOW!

Which type of school (not cadre) of narcissist have you been entangled with? Chances are it is more than one, if so, pick all that apply. If you want to read more about where they might fit within those schools do read the following articles which will shed more light

The Lesser Narcissist

The Greater Narcissist

The Mid-Range Narcissist

You will also find these useful

The Fuel Matrix – Part One

The Fuel Matrix – Part Two

The Fuel Matrix – Part Three

If you are unsure still, either select the one you think is closest or opt for don’t know. Better still, why not find out and use this consultation to increase your knowledge, understanding and ultimately your freedom?

Narc Detector

Do expand on your observations in the comment section and thank you for participating.

Which school of narcissist have you been ensnared by?

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57 thoughts on “Poll : Which School of Narcissist Has Ensnared You?

  1. Mai says:

    Upper Lesser is chillingly accurate.

  2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dearest E&L and DoForLuv,
    Trouble is, WE, are our own worst critics
    Having “empathy” …. already makes you beautiful, connected, wealthy and intelligent because you have beautiful hearts ♥️
    Don’t ever forget it
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. Presque Vu says:

    I feel disgusted in myself for falling for him.
    But reading the descriptions… lower lesser.
    I let myself be swept away.
    I dropped all of my boundaries and went more than half way. He didn’t deserve me, he really didn’t.

    Step dad, definitely greater, no doubts.

  4. Glinda says:

    I guess this means we need more articles about mid midrangers.

  5. Kensey says:

    I feel mine was the lowest lesser. Once I started studying, he was
    text book. I actually, hindsight felt down to my courage bones, he
    knew I had figured him out.

  6. Jules says:

    I was married to a Greater Cerebral for 8 yrs. Experienced an incredibly spun golden period that lasted over 5 yrs, and then an intensely confusing and brutal devaluation for 3 yrs. Shortly after, still battered and confused, I fell into a deliciously toxic relationship with a beautiful 21 yr old ULL Somatic. The intensity, passion, fire and hell he unleashed was mind boggling. I realize now that I was already “trained” to be a good little IPPS and I fell easily into the role. Knowing I needed to escape. Then giving in over and over to hoovers. If I hadn’t found Your work HG I don’t think I could ever have understood that moving out of state was the only way for me. #HeroWorship.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Jules.

  7. Saskia says:

    Intimate involvements: one MMRN, possibly another LMRN when I was in my earlier twenties. 

    I am not sure about my first boyfriend though – just had to think back to this very first relationship I had and that I believed in for a long time because I was very infatuated with him and wanted this relationship so much. He is highly intelligent (test results), high achieving (studied and finished two separate fields of study at the same time, is educated on PhD-level, successful in a particular area of sports as well as a gifted painter), now working as a scientist abroad. Very grandiose in his conviction that, in addition to being gifted, he was highly attractive. He may or may not be a full-blown narcissist, possibly UMR if he is; but is at least highly narcissistic. Our relationship ended at my initiative because I could not take his disrespectful behaviour any longer. I remember that he let me repeatedly pay for both of us despite, thanks to his wealthy family, having enough money of his own while I had to earn money in addition to going to school/university. He forgot my birthdays and many other events that were of importance to me and seemed to enjoy belittling whatever I achieved in life. Our main issue was his mother’s repeated intrusion into our relationship. She somehow managed to occupy the rare time slots we were able to spend together while studying. This was the only intimate relationship where I had no doubt about my decision to end it. I was so fed up and just wanted to get out, without discussion. He repeatedly hoovered me during all the years after our breakup which even included showing up at my office out of the blue, events that particularly angered me to the point where I firmly showed him the door. I had to cut him off quite brutally to stop that boundary violation which has been sucessful so far.

  8. Caroline says:

    A combo of Lower Greater & Upper Greater characteristics…ensnared at very young age/escaped.

  9. foolme1time says:

    I have been caught by I believe every type of narcissist out there. It was only today on my drive to work that I realized at one time in my life years ago I had been caught by a greater! The story is much to long to go into on here, but I can say he did it all! Love bombing, silent treatments, triangulation, Hoover, right up to having a lieutenant calling me with very obscene and violent phone calls because I had wounded him and escaped! HG it was all there everything you taught us!! I didn’t realize then! I certainly do now!! Thank you so very very much!!! 😘

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  10. Sarah says:

    I don’t know 🤷‍♀️
    Diagnosis – Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Psychopathic traits
    Intelligence – Never in question – gifted child, talented at everything he turns his hand to. Maintained high level education and positions of employment with ease.
    Personality traits – somatic, positively charming but not overtly grandiose, very calm, non-violent, fury displayed twice over 25 year period, calculated, cunning, can be impulsive, jealous, high level cognitive emotional intelligence expressed seamlessly, adaptable. Uses backhanded compliments a lot but cleverly. Treats people in accordance with how they allow him to treat them. Likes a challenge but uses lieutenants to do his dirty work regularly -more front than a department store.
    Co-morbid – substance use disorder (not during period of our relationship)
    Criminal behaviours- arrested on school oval at age 11 as part of a syndicate making counterfeit bank notes, later served jail time for armed robbery (This was 8 years post our relationship). Maintains dark fuel matrix with the unsavouries and separate fascade matrix (I think this occurred from an early age even though I was unaware).

    From what I can see he is a bag of mixed nuts. Wow what a catch 😉

  11. Alexissmith2016 says:

    HG do all Ns have the potential to have a sadistic streak or is this more common amongst lessers and greatest? is an upper mid less likely to have a sadistic streak?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      All have the potential.

      1. Alexissmith2016 says:

        Okay – thank you

  12. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    I liked the way you segregated the categories for this poll … it made it easy for perusal and selection
    I say ….Pip pip ! Good show! Jolly good work ol chap
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  13. K says:

    LLN through MMRN.

  14. Cindy says:

    HG, My ex MMR/Victim never deployed the silent treatment. You include this tactic while describing all three schools. Is this unusual? Or is this just a case of may or may not apply?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I would find it unusual for a MMR not to use the silent treatment.

      1. Cindy says:

        I can go days without speaking. I am the queen of the silent treatment. Perhaps I didn’t notice his ploys as I am so much better at it.

  15. W says:

    Fairly confident my narcoholic is a LMR
    As decided by you , HG, my other is a MMR
    (And of course after many months of study I totally see it)
    Still not 100% sure my kids dad isn’t a narc. I don’t know if it’s bc it’s been 22 years and/or I’m too close to see it — or if there IS empathy but he’s just got many strong narc traits/plus addiction.i didn’t add him to my vote.
    Will have to consult w you one day soon.

  16. flutterbymorpho says:

    Lower mid ranger. Aggressive when drunk, victim for sure. Not as brash as a lesser, thought of by others as placid. Says & thinks he’s a nice person (He is not! Deluded there..) Expects everything done for him.-Lazy in thought & deed. Did work but doesn’t want to now! He does do a lot that the mid mid-range does too though! Unintelligent, blameshifts continually, deflects and projects (never really had a decent conversation, he can’t hold one) no friends at all, no hobbies or interests, jealous of everyone (but of course they are jealous of him.. deluded) charming at first but seemed to have lost that quickly.. I have a lot of the carrier traits. Basically he is a childish, babyish, lowering the tone, rude, selfish, empty, shallow, thick, can’t take him anywhere, prize wanker. A lager lout for years..but now has given up drink ..lost loads of weight due to lack of calories from numerous cans of Stella everyday.. so he’s all skinny and ill looking .. poor little diddums…

    1. lisa says:

      flutterbymorpho
      This description made me laugh, bloody hilarious. Mine had a lot of these delightful qualities as well 🤣

    2. blackunicorn123 says:

      Don’t hold back, will you!! Lol!!

  17. Mary says:

    I selected all three kinds of Midrangers and the Middle Lesser. My husband has elements of middle-midrange, and he is very intelligent. He is also thoughtful and generous with gifts to me and my family. However, he rages often, pulls pity plays and deflects, doesn’t fake empathy that well, and he has little in the way of a fuel matrix, so he is likely Lower Midrange.

    My boyfriend in high school was definitely a lesser, I think a middle lesser. He had me fooled for a long while, but that was easy until he lost his shit and called me a whore because I didn’t want to talk on the phone while watching a movie with my Dad. We had discussed marriage, I had thought he was my soulmate, but not anymore. Fuck that, I was done!

    Still not sure what my online narc was. It’s likely he was an upper mid-ranger due to his charm, his massive fuel matrix and ability to project and to twist everything so well. He often said things that had a psychopathic ring to them, such as “I like you being insecure because it means I’m in your head.”

  18. Jules H. says:

    I do believe that mine is a middle greater for several reasons mainly the fact that he is intelligent and aware of what he does to people and that he revels in the knowledge that he has that kind of power. Also the fact that I was not once ever the object of his rage. He never belittled me, insulted me or anything like that he actually did quite the opposite and made it a point to not ever be rude or disrespectful or insulting to me. He does however show signs of being delusional in that he truly believes in this grandiose scenario that he is the mentally unstable livewire in a group of men hired by the government to go abroad and assassinate certain political people. This was the reason I was given eventually for the break up.

    1. Jules H. says:

      Apparently I was mistaken. I’m not sure now after reading The Fuel Matrix series, what kind he is.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Time for a narc detector session then.

      2. Jules H. says:

        After much deliberation I have settled upon an upper Midranger.
        The last time i saw him, he shot a hole in the windshield of my pick up. From inside with me sitting next to him.
        I burst into uncontrollable laughter immediately afterwards. He was not amused.
        He claimes it was an accidental misfire but i think it was done acidentally on purpose to try and scare me.

        Ive never been afraid of him and he hates it.

  19. Raven says:

    From what I have read in your descriptions of the different levels of narcissists I’d have to say my ex was a MMRN. Not as smart or educated and in a low level job but behavior wise that was extremely close. However, based also on your definitions of empaths I am a super empath and yes, I did a super nova for which I am being hoovered by stalking abeit at a very far distance since there is a protective order in place even though now he has secured an IPPS. When his grand hoover did not work or the ploy of leutinent that the narc wasn’t doing very well without me and was extremely concerned he went into a depression, my coterie (unknown to him) saw he hadn’t bathed or changed clothes in weeks.

  20. Persephone says:

    I picked upper mid ranger for dead spouse. I might have picked a greater, I can’t believe some of the stuff he got away with, things he convinced other people to do; but he was constantly trying to play on my sympathy. So, mid ranger.

    I still do not feel sure until I consult HG.

    The narc detector and empath detector services would make an excellent package deal. Is there a 2 for 1 special available?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ready when you are. At the present time there is no package deal, but I may consider doing as such.

      1. Jules H. says:

        It is definitely time for a Narc Detector session. Look for me to contact you later this week

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Jolly good.

      2. Joanne says:

        +1 for voting up the package deal 😉

  21. Diana says:

    Midrange somatic

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Midrange idioti…I mean Somatic mine too, I think.

  22. geyserempath says:

    I fell for a ML Victim Narc who lives at home with his NIPS and is impotent. He played riveting guitar and he embodied the rock n’ roll bad boy I never got in high school or my twenties…reflecting on what I just wrote, my first impression is “what an idiot I have been.”

  23. lisam15@btinternet.com says:

    I chose lower mid range , obviously i can’t be 100 per cent sure and there are some cross overs in behaviour with a type of lesser. In my early days of understanding this i would have automatically said some type of lesser because it’s hard not to confuse intelligence with narc type. He does have lesser traits but is a mid range due to so many traits being accurate.
    So i think lower mid range is correct.

  24. Joanne says:

    Mine seems somewhere between Middle Mid Range and Upper Mid Range but probably closer to MMRN. He has a good job, is intelligent, has charm, needs to be well thought of, LOVES a pity ploy and silent treatment and enjoys wearing a “regular guy” mask. I am curious to know for sure but right now I’d have a hard time justifying spending money on anything having to do with this asshole!

  25. Christopher Jackson says:

    Definitely a greater got a hold of me and also a mid range narc I will never forget some of the shit I have read on here it was entirely too accurate for it to be a lie and it blew my mind because hg is not even here he cant be making this shit up. My mid range always said or did or behaved in a passive aggressive manner doing things acting like I was supposed to mind read. The greater was always watching everything never forgot anything you said he always took what you said and twisted it and pinned you down verbally about stuff especially if you didnt agree. There was always a price to pay the greater was very good at being patient and waiting and lurking in the shadows to strike you down. I witnessed alot of things they did thinking back now unbelievable and also the lack of EMPATHY!!! they had very cold and calculating and the whole family feared him in sure he liked it sick bastard.

  26. Bekah B says:

    I chose MMRN for my daughter’s father.. I used to believe he was an UMRN, but based on the description of the MMRN, he definitely fits the bill (but there are some exceptions)..

    For one, he has A LOT of insight into exactly what he does and what he gets from it.. He uses the explanation of what he gets from his many manipulations as the reason *why* he does the things he does, but this is not the same as true awareness of *what he is*.. This leads me to believe he is not an UMRN or Greater..

    Although I would classify him as MMRN, he is in fact grandiose, especially when alcohol is introduced into a situation.. He flaunts his skills and puts people down in a joking manner when he is out on the scene and drunk.. People always attribute it to his drunkenness, but boy oh boy, do I know that is always how he feels and it is the mask that is falling off when he is drunk.. He truly believes he is superior.. ALWAYS..

    Silent treatments, word salads, and circular conversations are his forte.. I know he gossips and is very two-faced.. He has said out of his own mouth to me that isolation is a very effective method of seizing control of another, socially.. However, I have never really witnessed him pitting parties against one another in high frequency, with the exception of triangulation between his IPPS and IPSSs, if ever we knew about each other.. This is why I would say he is not an UMRN, but rather a MMRN, because he is secretive in his many relationships..

    My narc has many IPSSs.. Although I don’t know of the details of his life at this current time, when we were together, he had multiple women he was sleeping with, all over the state.. He also has an extensive secondary and tertiary non-intimate source circle, due to his affiliation in the military and a musical artist performance group.. His small family of his Matrinarc and two older brothers are very close to him, making up his Coterie.. And I would say he has 3 or 4 lieutenants he engages with regularly, two of which supply him monetary residual benefits, and all of which have been used to deploy proxy hoovers (of me)..

    His fuel matrix is extensive, which made me think he was an UMRN, but his actions and steadfast adherence to his facade convince me he is a MMRN.. He is avoidant in conflict situations, but it is very important for him to be seen as a humble guy, even though he is truly soooo far removed from humility..

    There is one characteristic of his life that is consistent with a LMRN, and it is the cadre or school of which type of IPPS he chooses.. All of the ones I have known of in the past 5+ years all are empaths, to a certain degree, and all have Carrier tendencies.. One was a nurse; another was an EMT; his current IPPS is an occupational therapist; and I have also worked in the emergency room at our local hospital and had a variety of customer service jobs throughout the years.. My narc requires a type of “caregiver” role in his IPPS, simply because he does not like to be employed, besides when he has to do his monthly weekend duty in the Army.. Otherwise, there is no other trait of a LMRN he exhibits.. (he does not display heated fury, he has an extensive fuel matrix, he is highly intelligent, etc.) I attribute his lack of wanting to work as trait of his antisocial personality (sociopathic) tendencies..

    1. W says:

      My MMR elite has a carrier empath at home
      I’m the DLS – DEMB
      I’m a magnet empath . I think having a carrier at home so they don’t have to work is a big MMR trait, am I right HG?

      1. W says:

        And I do mean HAVE to work. Mine still does. But then they have the ability to pick and choose jobs, go on “comp”/disability, etc as they like

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You might have a Victim MMR who would have some apparently chronic condition that prevents work (where they once did) and thus rely heavily on a Carrier.

          1. WhoCares says:

            UGH… Your descriptions of a Victim MMR fits my mother to a ‘T’.

            But I am not a Carrier – or if I am; I’m a very resentful Carrier.

      2. HG Tudor says:

        An MMR is likely to hold down a job, but have the Carrier carry out domestic chores etc (as well as hold down a job of their own). LL or LM are more likely not to work and rely on the empath (especially a Carrier) to be the breadwinner, however it is far from impossible that an MMR may not work. It may well be the case that the not working element (being more of a LL or LM trait) is overridden by a whole host of other traits which place the individual as MMR, thus you can end up with an MMR who does not work.

  27. A.Mi. says:

    I am A.Mi.,Bulgaria.In my country people have no idea what a Narc. is,so threre is no one to understand me. My Narc.is a prominent political and academic figure and has blended so well, people do not even suppose what he is in reality. I’ve been entangled with him for 13 years, then I started watching your youtube clips that helped me understand his world./ he has all the features and characteristics of the UGN, exactly as you describe them, no mistake!/ Yes, you are quite right, the UGN is a rare beast, very intelligent,well-read,successful, popular with woment, and very choosy, very short Golden period. I managed several full no contact periods until I bumped on him this summer in the railway underpass, and i was lost again. He is treating me with care, though /I am a super empath, a uni lecturer/. What is interesting, he has an amazing ability of self-control, even his closest friends /Non-intimate PSS/ do not suspect what he is. Yet his family circle know something, but they do not know about Narcissism.

  28. windstorm says:

    Well my answer was sort of a surprise to me. For all the dozens of narcs in my life, I’ve only been “ensnared” by two types: lesser greater and middle midrange. There are narcs from other schools in the family and at work but they are just part of the landscape. I was never ensnared by them.

    1. E. B. says:

      Hi WS,
      What about ‘friends’? I was ensnared by MMRNs who were quite good at faking empathy and concern.

      1. windstorm says:

        One of my mmrns was a friend. The others I knew what they were from the beginning, so they never “ensnared” me. I still have a close friend who’s a narc. She’s an UMRer. But I always knew what she was.

        1. E&L says:

          Windstorm, How do you navigate through the cycles of golden period/devalue/discard/recycle? Or, perhaps you have never ruffled the narcs feathers? With my familial relationships, my mere existence was to serve the whims of whomever “believed” they were the residing chief. There was no way not to cause a disruption if I was ever to have an independent thought/need/want. I feel responsible just by virtue of existing. I have decided to not pursue any future human friendships or relationships for the rest of my life, just co-existing with others.

          1. windstorm says:

            E&L
            That sounds so horrible!

            “I have decided to not pursue any future human friendships or relationships for the rest of my life,”

            I hope you get beyond this!

            In my experience, I’ve never noticed the “golden period/devalue/discard/recycle” in friendships/family. Perhaps I’ve never been that invested in them. Friends and family disappear, then later resurface. That’s always just seemed normal to me. I grew up that way and always knew they could never be relied on. When they surfaced, everything was great and fun, then when they disappeared they were just gone. That’s the way I assumed it was supposed to be.

            “my mere existence was to serve the whims of whomever « believed » they were the residing chief. “

            I never experienced this. Maybe the narcs thought it, but I never did. I was always my own person – denigrated, fussed about, ridiculed, yes – but I just rebelled against that. I never let the narcs opinions of me change my own self-image or goals.

            If they had the right to be them, then I had the right to be me.

          2. E&L says:

            Windstorm,It appears you possess a healthier constitution of self than myself. I have always struggled with self-worth. There is a branding on my spirit that says…you do not matter. I am not trying to engender pity or sympathy. That is another reason I stay alone. I just can’t seem to change the dialogue. I guess if I could, for once, truly believe and not just behave in a manner that is validating and affirming then I will have lived a full life. Thanks for the feedback!

  29. E&L says:

    I am not wealthy, connected, beautiful, or intelligent enough to be the target of a Greater at any level. I may have provided fuel to a Greater at some juncture in my 50+ years of life, but ensnarement of a pion like myself would not behoove a Greater! I say this with complete confidence and acceptance of my “nobodiness” in life.

    1. E&L says:

      Whoops…peon…!

      1. DoForLuv says:

        I feel the same way hahaha cheers !

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