The Narcissist Manipulates – Objectification


There once was a girlfriend of mine called Lesley. My preferred method of gathering fuel from her and also manipulating her was to call her It. This was extremely demeaning and in line with my worldview that people are just objects and appliances to do things for me. You may be an admiring appliance, you may be an accommodating appliance and run around for me. Alternatively you may be an enabling appliance providing me with what I want. A person is an appliance is an object. I was able to reinforce this especially with Lesley. I did not do it all the time. This would have diluted its effect. I would however be consistent in its application however. In some respects it was a half-way house to the Silent Treatment as I was not acknowledging her completely, I was belittling her but not quite ignoring her totally. The fact I was talking about her made her feel as if she had to respond and thus I got what I was looking for; a reaction.

I would start first thing in the morning. As ever, I was awake first as I had had a refreshing night’s sleep, the sleep of the just. She had probably lay awake for a few hours after I turned my back on her when she wanted to make love. She knew better than to pester me though. As I lay on my elbow looking at her freckled face, she would blink into wakefulness. Her blue eyes would meet mine and I would see the hope surge in them as she knew I was looking at her.

“Ah,it is awake,” I would  smile maintaining my gaze. The hope immediately became crushed and although she tried to hide it, I could see my blow had landed.

“Oh don’t do that please, it is horrible,” she would say pleasantly.

“It seems to have something to say. It always has,” I would remark. She would shake her head.

“Please, stop it, you know I don’t like it when you do that.”

“It wants us to stop. It always wants its own way.”

“No I don’t.”

“It is getting annoyed now. It is always loses its temper.”

“Pack it in.” She would rise from the bed and make for the shower. I would hover nearby and give a running commentary.

“It is washing itself using the shower gel we bought for it. It likes to smell nice.”

“It is washing its hair now. It is trying to wash the guilt away. It reeks of it.”

Lesley would try to ignore the comments but I knew from her sighs and the slumping of the shoulders it was getting to her. Having subjected her to maybe fifteen minutes of commenting on what she was doing, I shifted the tack and began to use this technique in a more suggestive fashion.

“It ought to wear a pencil skirt and blouse today. It does not want to look too sloppy even if it is a Friday.”

Lesley would pick out the suggested outfit. I knew why she did it. She felt that by making this suggestion, even though I was still calling her it, it showed I was interested in her and she lapped it up. She completely missed that this was what I wanted her to do for me and was nothing to do with being interested in her.

“It really ought to cook breakfast as we must not go hungry.”

“It would do well to ensure the shopping is done before we return this evening.”

“It should remember we are going out tonight and it is not invited.”

She would depart for work, bristling but not wanting to escalate matters. My technique would continue through the day. I would telephone her and ask,

“Is it busy?”

“Yes I am, so now you are talking to me are you?”

“It wants to know if we are talking to it. Now we are not.” I would put the phone down.

By evening she would be pleading with me to stop it, tears welling in her eyes. Lesley had had enough of my objectification which was sustained and cutting through out the day. As I picked up my wallet in readiness to heading out with my friends, without her, I would turn and say,

“I am going out now. I will see you later.”

The smile that erupted across her face was immense as I had dropped the It commentary.

“Okay, have a good time,” she would answer pleasantly.

“I will. Bye Karen.”

I never looked over my shoulder but I knew how using the wrong name would hurt her.

Learn more about how the narcissist is manipulating you. Knowledge is power.





118 thoughts on “The Narcissist Manipulates – Objectification

  1. santaann1964 says:

    My point is since my Narc treated me to the degree of a breakdown, then I should of had a relationship with his brother who had asked me several times. I just don’t see this behavior being ok. I understand how cruel she was to his brother I really do! Maybe it’s just who I am and my beliefs . I appreciate your kind words. Thank you and I will re read that article…. Revenge is sweet but not in this way at least not to me.

    1. FoolMe1Time says:

      It’s not this article that you should reread, it is HGs book Elated and Eroded that you should read. In that book you read why HG did what he did to protect and get revenge for his brother. I never could understand how so many could agree with what HG did either, until I read the book! I have a Big Brother who is the light of my life, if anyone did to my brother what that it did to HGs brother, I can honestly tell you that what HG did would look like a pillow fight, compared to what I would have done. 🙃

  2. empath007 says:

    Ok. Admittedly I have not read the book. But from my understanding… she hurt HGs brother. So HG saw it as his right to exact revenge.

    A lot of us would love to have revenge against our narcs as well. Who I am guessing are probably just as… if not more… vindictive then this Leslie woman. We can not do so until our ET has lowered… and those without HGs assistance may not ever be in the position to do it at all.

    Two wrongs don’t make a right. I know most of you will disagree. But unfortunately…. his brother will have to fight his own battles. And a lot relationships go south for all kinds of reasons. Being intimate for the sole purpose of getting revenge..: is odd at best. I would never sleep with someone I hated or hurt my family memeber. But that’s just me.

    1. Violetta says:

      I couldn’t either, but it’s because we have a basis for comparison, knowing what it is like to want a physical relationship with someone we love.

      Someone who doesn’t love anyone wouldn’t have that boundary.

      1. empath007 says:

        Sometimes I think my narc only had a relationship with me to have a revenge for a friend of his that hated me…. I have to be honest… that hurts way way more then thinking it was because I was an empath he could use. So I Barry that feeling pretty deep. And just accept either way he never did love me.

    2. FoolMe1Time says:

      Empath it is very hard for me to see someone treated like Lesley was treated, in saying that I wish you would read the book. I can and will not feel sorry for that It!

      1. empath007 says:

        I’m sure it would give me more content…. but I still don’t really see the purpose of getting that kind of revenge for my brother. With my world view I don’t think it’s ever something I could understand or justify… regardless of what she may have done.

        Also… I don’t know if Leslie and Lennox had an intimate relationship or not…. but…. wouldn’t his brother sleeping with his x (if that’s the case) perhaps be the more hurtful thing?

        As usual I have trouble undertanding narcissistic behaviours… they truly do confuse me.

        I will just buy the book haha.

        1. FoolMe1Time says:

          Yeah Empath! Buying the book will answer the questions you have. They confuse all of us, even some that have been here a long time still become confused. But I know being on here either HG, or one of you beautiful commenters, will get me through the confusion and questions I have. 😘😘

        2. lisk says:

          You are definitely not Old Testament, empath007. No eye for an eye–or even more than an eye–for you.

          And that’s a good thing.

  3. FoolMe1Time says:

    You should read the book Elated and Eroded Santaann, at that point I’m sure you will be commenting on how HG did not do enough to that skank that hurt his brother!

    1. Pati says:

      Thank you FM1T I will read the book. I didnt realized before I commented earlier that this was revenge for his brother .

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        I don’t always look for revenge, but in this particular instance, absolutely!

  4. C says:

    HG-if you are now conscious of your malady, does it ever make you want to change and make better choices concerning others or do you just continue operating like a machine? If Ns are unconsciously acting this way does being aware change anything?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You call it a malady, but it is not one to me. Those of us who are aware of what we do, see it as the most effective way of operating (because of the lives that we lead and what we achieve). We are not the haphazard fools who are dismissed, who fail to get the deal done, who do not succeed, we do not lurch from one disaster to another, no those are the fates of the less evolved of our kind. Those of us have awareness succeed and reveal in the playing of games, because ultimately, what else is there?

      1. liza says:

        most effective way? well, my narc is with me in college he is verry smart and has an IQ of 127, but i’v watched him sabotage his life in every respect, he always manged to loose academic opotunities, all the good people in his sircle go away sooner or later.
        he is always frustrated and talking about how he is unluky and all the people he trusted did him wrong, he seems totally unable to grasp the fact that his actions bring consequences.
        whenever i try to explain it to him i’m accused of being cold and unsuportive.
        sins he is far from stupid, the onlly cause i can imagine is his personality.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It is not solely governed by IQ.

        2. Sarah says:

          Hi Liza,
          IQ is one determining factor of life outcomes but the most recent research suggests conscientiousness is more important. It sounds like the N in your life did not acquire this.
          I think one of the benefits of having N parents that drive you into the ground can be the development of a conscientious approach to life and in the case of an N, all things concerning themselves. Of course this could work the other way as well depending on the individual. This may or may not be applicable to your situation.


          1. liza says:

            hello sarah, i know that a high IQ is not a garenti to a succefull futur.
            what is taking me of balence with my narc is the fact that i watched him several times correctly analyse verry complexe situations, and give verry good advice to people when he felt like it, but when it comes to him he seems totally blinde.
            i considered the possibility that he was doing it on purpose, but he gains nothing from it, he looses jobs, friends, and instead of focusing on his graduation memoir he was wasting his time making me jealous and punishing me. and he didn’t finish on time.
            Thank you for your answer Mr.HG.

          2. lisk says:


            He may be a narc, just not a Greater.

            Sounds like his pity plays and his victim status serve him quite well. They just don’t serve you as well as you would like, especially now as he is revealing his narcissism and ineffectiveness more and more.

            Why exactly are you still with this guy?

          3. liza says:

            to sarah,
            no, we haven’t talked to each other in 5.5 months, when i caught him cheating on me he flept the table blaming me for evry thing and told me “adieu ” at the moment i had no clue about NPD, and for me he was the kind person i thaught i knew, i was devastated and consumed by guilt. then i made one good decision i talked to a classmate who knew him sins high school and he told evrything about him, all his manipulations, and that there where 3 other girls. isomhow came to learn about npd and then evrything became clear, so i unfriended him from facebook and decided that i will never go near him again.
            i receaved phon calls from a numbers i don’t know and no one speaks when i pick up, but i’m not sure if it is him, he got hospitalised 2 month after our “break up” but a friend told me that he is just simulating so i didn’t contact him, an adieu is an adieu after all. but he never contacted me direcly sins then.

          4. liza says:

            i meant lisk

      2. Pati says:

        HG it definitely sounds challenging.

    2. Pati says:

      HG from your knowledge does your kind give ultimatums?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        I will answer but only if you organise a consultation!

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:


        2. Pati says:

          Thank you !

        3. A383 says:

          😂 x

  5. santaann1964 says:

    2nd time you shared this article, why? It is sickening, must of been how this made your mother made you FEEL like just an IT. I don’t enjoy this part of you at all!

    1. Code 3 says:

      I enjoyed it. It’s a very helpful reminder and insight. You’re seeing (if we go along with the assumption that what we’re being told is factual, HG isn’t a fictional character and so on) behind the scenes and thats much more useld.
      In good contrast to the other recent post on stargazing. Even better.
      Morality doesn’t apply – but it’s hard to see that.
      I’m not going to smack a shark after it bites me and say “bad shark, how could you do that to me”, or do sad eyes at the chainsaw I just walked into that cut off my leg.
      He’s telling you his true nature.

      1. santaann1964 says:

        It’s not hard to see for me. Besides that Mr.H likes to be smacked. He also likes our responses and how we feel. It’s part of his work. As far as I believe he also appreciates my feelings with every article along with everyone’s. He is a God send for me. So what I see sometimes will be different then you see. So with that being said again. I don’t like that part of him. Im glad you enjoyed the article. Yes that article factual . He doesn’t make up stories unless he tells us! Let’s leave it up Mr.H to tell me what I’m seeing. He’s the pro! I still don’t like the article and I still don’t like that part of him.

        1. Code 3 says:

          Hmm. Maybe “enjoyed” was the wrong word.
          I should have said I appreciated this insight, and its posting soon after the stargazing stuff.
          I understand what you’re saying now I think, and we’re both right. You don’t like this post or this aspect of HG’s personality – got it.
          What I meant is, I don’t think there are different “parts” or “sides” to the narcissist. I don’t know if HG is in some way different from other narcissists he is warning us about, has changed his essential nature, or if it’s even possible to do so.
          Personally I’m dubious that if emotions like joy, happiness, feeling loved existed at birth and were battered down in early childhood that the capacity is…gone. I’ve nothing scientific to base that on though, it would be very interesting to know 🙂

          Back to the “sides” thing.
          What I’m learning is…I think… is that it’s not even two sides of the same coin. It’s that the narcissist will deploy whatever tactic is necessary to gain maximum fuel. So if that means appearing romantic – fine. If that means torturing and emotionally abusing – fine. They’re the same throughout.

          I have found that hard to see because I’ve been locked in my own ways of seeing the world, have doubted my instincts, and so on. I would never (as best as I can guess… but who can really say) abuse someone because it’s against my moral code- my conscience wouldn’t let me.
          The narcissist – as I understand it – doesn’t have a conscience, a moral compass and is skilled in creating illusion. That’s what I mean about morality, good, evil etc not applying. If you’re inclined (like me) to see the best in people, to want to help, and to romanticise and fantasise…then engaging with someone like that is – yikes. I feel lucky I got out in one piece quite honestly.

          1. santaann1964 says:

            Mr.H is a certain kind of narcissist. He explains it frequently. There are many aspects of him that I love especially his ability to give me knowledge of what I had no idea what I gotta as always dealing with. He gives me knowledge, I give him fuel. Sometimes I don’t like his ways but all and all I love him because he has helped me heal! Keep reading he is a honest narcissist. Some may say he tries to capitalize off of our kind but I really don’t care. I’m just looking forward to my consultation with him, just saving up for it. He has taught me most how to control my emotional thinking especially dealing with my narc nut job! Mr.H is certainly a high end person in power some where with lots of money and definitely good taste and looks….. so money is not the issue for him. I consider him a God send don’t think he agrees. This is a safe place for me to communicate, therefore I am never insulted.

          2. santaann1964 says:

            You may learn this stuff is mind blowing and most Narcissist are textbook to the point of hilarious once one starts to heal! It’s a very long recovery

      2. lisk says:

        Code 3- LOL @ your shark and chainsaw analogies.

        I will use them as reminders whenever I start fantasizing about telling off Narcx.

        1. Code 3 says:


          Do you have a conscience?

          Would you hurt Shieldmaiden if conditions warranted it?

          (Imagine an earnest emoji here so you know I’m asking respectfully, in good faith).

          1. HG Tudor says:


            The ends always justifies the means. I do not see that conditions would warrant such action, but if they did, then so be it.

    2. Claire says:

      Nah, I applaud HG for what he has done.
      Actually it was more sickening what It bitch did to his brother.
      In fact HG was not malicious as in this particular case justice was served.

      1. Violetta says:

        What did she do?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Read Elated and Eroded.

    3. Sweetest Perfection says:

      That’s what I thought until I found out more about that Lesley girl. I don’t even know how HG had the stomach to date her. It’s amazing how having a more holistic approach can totally change your view. Although in the end, the Empath’s gonna suffer. It it’s not for Lesley, it is for Lennox. The end is always pain. I’m quite pessimistic today.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        Was Lesley like the other empaths that you dated, or was the fact that you knew the fuel you would receive at the end of this relationship was enough to get you through it?

        Also HG, you wrote that Lennox was an empath, would you tell us what his schools and cadres are?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Lesley will be dealt with in The Asylum of the Grotesque, FM1T.

          Lennox is a standard carrier empath.

          1. FoolMe1Time says:

            Thank you for answering my questions HG.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Like me!!! I like Lennox.

          4. FoolMe1Time says:

            HG was Lesley a narcissist that mirrored empathetic traits?

          5. HG Tudor says:


        2. K says:


          malignnarc says:
          May 19, 2016 at 09:31
          She had some empathic traits but not was not an empath.

          1. FoolMe1Time says:

            Thank you K. 😘

          2. K says:

            My pleasure FoolMe1Time.

  6. Chihuahuamum says:

    I like the HG here but hate this HG! I dont know how on earth she put up with that! She defintely was on her way out at that stage. Im sure you had someone already lined up to take her place at that point. You wouldve had zero respect for her putting up with that crap. Ive put up with a lot but never anything direct like this wow.

    1. Kim e says:

      Your comment about liking the HG here but hating the other just proves how dangerous N’s can be. He is, after all, the same person

      1. Violetta says:

        Old fable, found in many cultures (this version from Wikipedia):
        A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung by the scorpion, but the scorpion argues that if it did that, they would both drown. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. The scorpion climbs onto the frog’s back and the frog begins to swim, but midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung, to which the scorpion replies “I couldn’t help it. It’s in my nature.”

        1. K says:

          You may find this article very interesting.

        2. K says:

          Read this article as well.

      2. santaann1964 says:

        Interesting! They are dangerous but I always remember Mr.H is educating me. He is for sure taught me how to get a grip quickly on my emotional thinking. But once I have learned enough I will leave this site. Because reality for me is being here also plays a role in keeping the narc sociopath on my mind. So it’s a catch 22 for me. Knowledge is power! But for the now. I’m also thinking about my own ego too! What part did it play in this Narcissist game. It’s very interesting

        1. Kim e says:

          santaann 1964
          I am with you on the catch 22. There are even days now where I undo my stuff on wordpress so I do not get any notifications at all. It keeps the N alive in my thoughts.

  7. Pati says:

    HG how rude !you were teasing her so bad like a bully does at school. She was pleasant to you and I am surprised she never told you to f**** off.
    I guess you were looking for her lash out at you and give you negative fuel Why cant there be a cure for Narccism. Life would be such much easier without it.

  8. liza says:

    OMG i just realised how weird my brain is, if i where in lesely’s place i wouldn’t have realised that you where being mean and think of it as un game.

    1. Violetta says:

      I would’ve said, “It’s going out and you’re not invited either, Snookums–girls’ night out, you know.” Immediately precipitating a narc bomb drop from a lesser.

      1. liza says:

        Violetta, if you have already came to be in a relationship with a narcissist you already know that going out whithout him will either bring a cold fury and a torturous silent treatement, or he would make a sade face where you can read “i’m betrayed, unloved, you don’t care, how could you? ” and guilt will get your skin, so, not an option.

        1. Violetta says:

          They are always a one-way street–THEIR way. No sauce for the gander with them!

  9. Veronique Jones says:

    My brother would do things like this to me and for a long time I would get upset lose my temper which only made it more funny for him but it would not be a day it would be weeks at a time eventually I learned to switch off to the way he was treating me and just ignore him eventually he would get tired of it and go annoy someone else I would get the silent treatment both absent and present then smeared coming between me and my friends was a favourite of his once he had managed to cause enough damage to the relationship he no longer had any use for them either he was obsessed with me having no one else I got smeared him using what he had done saying I was accusing him of it when I hadn’t said anything to anyone that get in first thing but he would always end up dobbing himself in to me His smear campaigns were based on victimising himself with accusations I hadn’t said or done but had thought was happening it always clarified it me what he was up to
    I have had many people try since him but in my experience of narcissists they all work very similarly I have got rid of him I am sure he will Hoover me after mum dies and he gets everything I am actually ok with that I would rather not have anything from her she uses her money as a tool for manipulating people like everyone I like the things money can buy but I cannot be influenced by it it’s not worth the blood you pay for it with people like her she has power over him not me thank you for this article I do think he is very much like my brother in those ways anyway my brother is also a sexual predator he doesn’t lie to me because he knows I know what he is and sees no point in hiding it unless there is someone else around I loved him anyway this other guy I was telling you about I did really care about and he hurt me a lot but I have lost all respect for him when the vale slipped I saw my brother and I was repulsed by him I have no hard feelings for him but also no good ones I genuinely don’t care at all and I see him trying to get a reaction from me so I don’t give it I am kind of stubborn when it comes to manipulating me all he gets is an emotionless okay I don’t feel the need to expose him he will do it himself eventually and he is not going to get another chance to have a good relationship with me so any type of hoovering won’t work for any type of hoovering to work with me I have to want it or at least care about what they feel for me and I genuinely don’t anymore I seriously question what he is either getting or hoping to get out of it I don’t give him fuel anymore this is why I question when I am discarding him will he get the worse or better

    1. Chihuahuamum says:

      Hi veronique…im sorry your brother put you thru all that and you went thru another narc in a relationship. I went no contact with my brother 13 yrs ago. Same dynamic my mother was the head narc and made him the golden narc child and in return he became her flying monkey leiutenant. He smeared me to family and made me out to be something im not. He never did what your brother did but i do feel your hurt. Family is supposed to have your back in life not stab it. You made the tight decision going no contact. Money is just money and your life memories being happy are more important. Youre smart to walk away! Youre free from toxins 🤗

  10. kaydiva3 says:

    Dear god HG, you are cruel.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      And spiders are hairy.

      1. Lorelei says:

        I killed a tarantula today in my house. Doesn’t bother me a bit. I could do fear factor.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Did you offer it lip gloss ahead of its execution?

          1. Lorelei says:

            HG—I kid you not. For real. I had a patient show me pictures of her cat’s kittens tonight and she said she was proud of them because they were learning to hunt and chasing the mice in the house. I can do spiders but WTF. I’m not totally nuts after all. Like rodents running around and cats chasing them!!

        2. Code 3 says:

          Why, Lorelie? They’re rarely dangerous, and not hard to catch if you know what you’re doing.

          There’s a difference between being afraid and being in danger.

          Aren’t you supposed to be an empath?

          1. Lorelei says:

            The empath thing is a sore subject for me Code 3.

          2. Code 3 says:

            If it’s spiders in general and not tarantulas in particular you dislike I may have an offering that might possibly change your view…possibly, maybe, perhaps…
            Try google image search jumping spider. They’re hard to hate 🙂

        3. NarcAngel says:

          A tarantula? I am concerned about your living arrangements.

          1. Lorelei says:

            Spiders are abound in my world.

      2. santaann1964 says:

        Not all spiders

      3. mai51 says:

        As an Australian, I don’t understand this comeback lol…… yes, all spiders ARE hairy….. yes, you are both stating the obvious….. however, spiders have a place in the world. I am afraid of a hairy narc, but never afraid of a hairy spider……

        1. santaann1964 says:

          Again Mr.H teaches me something, yes all spiders do have hair. Didn’t know that. Thanks Mr.H!

          1. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome SA1964, it is all about the knowledge here.

          2. santaann1964 says:

            Knowledge is power! On both ends Mr.H ! Dam spiders 🕷😂👍

  11. lisk says:

    *Technical Difficulties Comment | Apologies for posting this here.

    I’m having trouble “liking” comments. Whenever I try to like a comment here, pop-up box opens for a split-second and then disappaears.I tried everything on my end to trouble-shoot it. Still an issue.

    Is anyone else having this problem?

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Lisk, I’ve had that problem many times in the past. You need to go back to your WordPress profile and make sure your info is updated, enter your email and password again. I don’t know why this happens.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        I did that and I still can’t like comments.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          …and that’s why I don’t work for the IT department! Sorry, it seemed to work for me but it happens on and off.

          1. Joanne says:

            I heard Lesley works for the IT department. We should ask her 😝

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahaha! Good one, Joanne.

        2. Lorelei says:

          NA—how about deleting the app and reinstalling? Though—you’ve probably done this!

        3. WhoCares says:


          I find that WP is sporadically temperamental.
          However, with the WordPress app on my phone; I can always ‘like’ comments with no issues.

    2. Code 3 says:

      I am also having trouble liking comments.
      They’re all awful.

      1. WhoCares says:

        This made me laugh.

        But not due to the truth of it.

        1. lisk says:

          I laughed, too.

          But in all seriousness, the comments here have been essential to my absorbing HG’s “tutorials.”

          1. WhoCares says:


      2. WhoCares says:

        I meant that this is an untrue statement:
        “They’re all awful.”

        Also pretty unhelpful, Code 3.

  12. Nina says:

    How awful.

  13. Sweetest Perfection says:

    The leg lamp! Oh, how I adore that object! There’s no better image for objectification, HG.

  14. Lorelei says:

    Nausea inducing.

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      The leg lamp? Or the way that moron addresses his partner? I bet the latter. I hate this article especially because she enables him to continue with that shit, and because he talks like Gollum.

      1. Lorelei says:

        Dear sweetest—it’s so interesting what our personal bandwidths are for behavior. I simply didn’t know the deafening silence was a form of abuse. This —I would have smacked the fuck out of him for. (But he would have liked it!)
        What an interesting place this is. I’m enlightened nearly daily.

        1. lisk says:

          I didn’t know about the silence as abuse, either, Lorelei.

          So happy I finally found out here. I wouldn’t have believed it from anyone but a narc named HG.

          1. Lorelei says:

            Exactly Lisk! It was awful. I’m very social—it was worse than anything. Chinese water torture horrible. I’m feeling a little soft today and I don’t like it.

      2. NarcAngel says:


        Have you read Elated and Eroded? There is a bit in there about Lesley. May or may not change your view.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          And I thought I had read everything already! Thanks, NA! I have some homework to do today! I’ll let you know what I think afterwards.

        2. Sweetest Perfection says:

          NA, it doesn’t change the fact I disliked her, but the reasons now are different. It intensifies my dislike of her, and I feel extremely sad right now for Lennox. Of course I feel bad for the way she was treated but this explains many things, thanks for directing me to the source.

        3. kel2day says:

          Oh yeah, the It girl!
          HG, I always wondered, was your brother ever mad that you were dating the girl he had wanted and who had humiliated him?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            No, he is an empath and recognises my superiority and accepted that. It worked for him ultimately also.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Has he managed his anxiety after that? Did he go to a speech therapist to work on his stuttering? Is he married? I want to know more about Lennox, he seems like a sweetheart. I can’t believe he fainted. What a sensitive soul.

        4. Lorelei says:

          I think I have that in my kindle library—I’ll look.

      3. Joanne says:

        I did read about Lesley and I do believe she had it coming to her. But the idea that anyone would accept being spoken to like that is just beyond me.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Exactly, Joanne. I feel divided now, in between “am I Machiavellian for feeling some sort of catharsis in the way she was punished for what she did to poor Lennox -this broke my heart-“ but also “I would send this mofo to Chinatown if he spoke to me like that.” Sigh, life is complicated when you have so many emotions.

          1. Lorelei says:

            But I like Chinatown! They always try to sell purses and watches..

          2. Joanne says:

            There is another article where he says that Lesley still sends him pleasant messages from time to time and that he’s not done with here 🤔

            HG this is a question for you: how long did the relationship with Lesley last? And how long did this “it” treatment go on?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            This will be addressed in The Asylum of the Grotesque.

          4. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Let me figure that: “Till one of us dies”?

        2. NarcAngel says:

          But then most things I read on here I can’t imagine accepting. We all thought we had firm lines drawn and yet they were crossed slowly and here we are.

          1. Joanne says:

            True. I definitely am not judging. I realize this is a slow insidious process. I would’ve never imagined being in the situation I was in, and the effect it had on me.

        3. C says:

          They choose endearing people who want to be loved-people who would be hurt by this trash-not everyone would be. Narcissists have to have a player to their stupid games in order to pull off their evil tricks. Their victims are the type of people who would give you their shirt.

          1. Joanne says:

            You are right 😢

      4. Violetta says:

        I thought “Silence of the Lambs,” not LOTR: “It puts the lotion on its skin….”

      5. Lorelei says:

        Lesley was a bitch. I’m now aware! Awake and alert.

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