There you are, at long last……

190 thoughts on “Inside

  1. Desirée says:

    Might not have been cropped and filtered after all, I didnt know he had made any in these shades

    Thought it was this first, love those colours

    Or this one, also nice.

    1. lisk says:


      I like the second one, but the piece that HG posted is one that he just saw.

      HG is in NYC. He was at the Guggenheim!

      1. Violetta says:

        Let us hope, as I posted elsewhere, that he found a way to combine business, art appreciation, and the companionship of Se Scyldmæġþ, so he will be inclined to paint us all Rinso White when he returns.

        1. lisk says:

          *looks up Rinso*

          1. Violetta says:

            It’s in the lyrics to a song from the ’60s hippie show Hair. (Apparently, it was part of an ad campaign for laundry detergent. Full disclosure: I had to look it up too.)


  2. MB says:

    Ok, so again, backwoods country MB has a dilemma which has absolutely nothing to do with narcissism. (Unless of course my Uber driver is a narc.)

    I can count on one two hands with fingers left over the number of times I’ve ridden in a taxi, Uber, etc. My driver gets here to pick me up just now. I’m typing in the BACK seat as we speak. I open the front door to sit in the passenger side beside of the driver in the front seat. Dude goes crazy like I’ve committed a mortal sin. “In the back, in the back!” He said. Geez! I was just trying to friendly. Is that a thing?!? Should I always sit in the back like driving Ms. Daisy. (And Dude hasn’t uttered a word to me. — Awkward!)

  3. Susan says:

    Hoorah! Long awaited!

  4. AR says:

    New book?

  5. SMH says:

    Don’t have anything to say but definitely want to see what this is about…

  6. MB says:

    I am showing my lack of culture and worldliness here, but I don’t get this type of art. I’d enjoy visiting a gallery with somebody who gets it and can explain it to me, but as it is, I’ve seen more interesting cow pies.

    And while they’re at it, please explain Elon Musk’s new “pickup truck”! Wtf?!?

    1. lisk says:

      Is it a Narc Truck?

      So much to look up today!

      1. MB says:

        Lisk, it looks like something from the future. I’d like to see one down at the lake pulling a boat out of the water!

    2. E. B. says:

      He is another candidate to be placed under the Tudorscope.

      1. MB says:

        HG has said Musk is one of ours.

        1. E. B. says:

          I see, I didn’t know that.

          1. MB says:

            E.B. Now I’m not so sure.

          2. E. B. says:

            Hahaha It doesn’t matter. Me neither 🙂

        2. Desirée says:

          MB he said he’s a narcissist.

          1. MB says:

            Maybe I remembered it incorrectly. In any case, he needs to take his turn under the Tudorscope in honor of his pickup truck unveiling.

      2. MB says:

        I would like to see a normal or an empath put under the Tudorscope though. They seem to always turn out to be A Very Narcissist!

      3. K says:

        Hi E. B.
        Here’s the comment re: Musk

        HG Tudor says:
        July 11, 2019 at 10:06
        Elon belongs to us.

        1. E. B. says:

          Hi K,
          Thank you for looking it up. Very kind of you!

          1. K says:

            My pleasure E. B.!

        2. Violetta says:

          K strikes again.

          1. K says:

            Ha ha ha…I am on it like white on rice!

        3. MB says:

          Thank you K. You da bomb! No Tudorscoping necessary. I apologize for my error everyone. Carry on.

          1. K says:

            My pleasure MB!
            No apologies needed. Keep clam and read narcsite.

          2. K says:

            ha ha ha…calm, not clams, although, clams are yummy.

    3. NarcAngel says:

      Bulletproof. Yeah that’s what we need.

      1. MB says:

        NA, everybody needs a fast, electric, futuristic pickup truck in the driveway! Bulletproof?!? Weren’t the windows shattered during the demo 😂

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Haha. That was unfortunate. I bet gangs are rubbing their hands.

    4. Liza says:

      nobody gets this kinde of art ( the artist himself doesn’t most of the time …) you just have to stand in front of it for at least 10 minutes looking transfixed and deeply moved by this masterpiece, and then turn to the person next to you and start talking in an assured tone ,on how the artist expresses the emptiness of the world, and how our lifes are meaningless, and sad, and don’t worry since the person next to you would be as clueless as you, they will reply somthing like ” yes, and this line right here, is the artistes manner to tell us that amongst all this pain there is still hop” then move your head with approval, and congratulate yourself, you are now cultivated.

      1. MB says:

        I don’t feel so bad now Liza. Maybe HG will explain this piece to us once he’s not to busy to participate. Art, like music is a personal taste. I tend to be more meat and potatoes and down to earth. If it’s not on the canvas, I don’t see it. This looks like tracks in the mud, nothing more. Interesting if made in a pasture with Elon’s truck though!

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          MB, you mean visual art. Music is art too. While the aesthetic pleasure on art is purely subjective, its value and appreciation can be learned. I remember I used to think Björk was an annoying freak. Maybe I was not ready at that time to appreciate her music. Now I adore her. Non figurative art is an acquired taste. Having said that, I find it hard to like abstract expressionism although I “know a little” on 20th c. avant-garde art. I do enjoy Pollock, Mary Abbott is one of my faves though, and “All Green” is a painting I would love to steal and keep with me everywhere (just joking, if it disappears this is not a confession). My narc enjoyed it a lot, maybe it’s about all those emotions trapped in the canvas …

          1. MB says:

            SP, yes, visual art. I find some music to just be noise too, but for the most part appreciate all kinds and can see the talent. I looked up the image of “All Green” I can’t see the emotions. I guess I’m not looking hard enough! Of course, it’s not EverPresence to me as it is to you.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            No no no no no!!! Fuck everpresence! I loved the painting before; then he came to steal my opinion so no, when I look at it I don’t see my narc I see the jungle. I see cold shadows and some rays of warm sunlight. It’s one of the three only paintings so far that have made me feel something in terms of physical sensorial experiences, not just thoughts.

          3. ThePolicyOfTruth says:

            I really really don’t like Bjork’s music.

            Mind you I don’t like impressionist art either. Give me the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel over a Monet any day.

        2. Liza says:

          haha i’m always happy to help MB don’t hesitate.
          i love art, i mainly love classic music but i apreciate all forms of art, but i need to see/here/feel something myself, i have no interest in a piece if i need some critique to tell me what i should appreciate in it.
          come on now MB, Elon is amongst other things the founder of SpaceX, he can do make a truck, a bicycle or even a spoon, i love that man ( but i don’t approve some of his methodes).

          1. MB says:

            Liza, of course! The man is a genius and ahead of his time. The truck is a bit far out though, even for 2020.

      2. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Hahahaha Liza! I cannot disagree with you on that statement haha! You made me laugh. I do love art but I must admit sometimes I just wanna say this is a royal piece of shit. One thing is learning and the other pretending.

        1. Liza says:

          Sweetest perfection,
          haha, i used to oppenly tel when i didn’t like something but then, i alawys end up getting a long speech, that doesn’t hold any meaning or real explanation, and the general idea is always “you should like it, because you are supposed to” .
          i do respect the work of people who bring to our attention details, and ways to read something, and give a backround that will help give a sens to the piece, i did change my minde on numerous paintings and books because someone helped me to see what i missed, but i despise the idea that something should be loved just because a critique who works for a widly read magazine says so.

          1. Violetta says:

            The Fountainhead is a political diatribe disguised as a novel, but it does have an amusing incident in which a bunch of “intellectuals” decide to write and promote a deliberately crappy play just to see if the public is stupid enough to go for it. It is.

          2. Liza: Of course numbers have personalities. The number 1. The number 7. The number 666. The number 13, etc. etc. The number Pi. The number 0. The number 3. etc. etc.

          3. Liza says:

            i like odd numbers because they are cool and nanchalent, i’m not verry fond of even numbers because they take themselves too seriously, ha ha i do have a preference for 7 and 9 , i eally don’t like 6 he is orange and is too uptight, 10 and 0 don’t play they are in an other category, 666 never thought of him.
            with Pi it’s complicated i have a ” je t’aime, moi non plus” kind of relashionship with him

          4. Violetta says:

            ” je t’aime, moi non plus”

            That song has the most hypnotic riff.

            I heard a Muzak version playing in a low-end department store once, and wondered if anyone else knew what the original song was all about.

          5. Liza: I am thrilled that your intuition and feelings about numbers having character, and meaning, etc was not taken from you. That makes you a Number 1 in my books. I am teaching myself interior decorating and the number 3 is super important for the concept of creating interest ( I am still working on the concept of 3), and also the number 2 for symmetry (easier for me to understand). I love looking at the shady side of things. Like the shady side of Finance. And like the shady side of `Art`, as well. I do not even want to or need to get really started on the shady side of `Art,` because it would trigger me so much, that I am staying largely out of this feed, except for your statement on numbers. You dragged me in: Art is also used to socialize people. Also to destroy the regular peoples` mind so that they no longer have esthetic awareness to determine what is beautiful versus what is ugly, etc. This is done to the populace in general, at what many people call the `Elite` Levels. hahaha. The manipulation of people psychologically and socially through also, the `Art` World, is often more fascinating to me than the actual pieces that go around and around in the merry go round. Also the secret collections of some magnificent works versus the art that is approved for P U B L I C consumption, in many museums, etc,, interests me, while a lot of great art with supreme intrinsic value is hidden away or destroyed. LOL. By the way, I finished One Outs. Loved it. Then the 26 episodes of Akagi. Now, I am looking for something else. I would like the entire Manga on One Outs after finishing the anime last week, or so, but on Ebay or Etsy, or something like that, it is around $150.00 when I checked last now. wow. expensive. I have sticker price shock. So, I am looking for something just to watch easily and so I chose Liar Game, but, I so far have not figured out what version, and if it is a TV series, and are there more than one, like a Korean one, etc, and then I saw a different example to add to all that on Liar Game, no anime though, so I am confused about what to do about Liar Game, and not end up watching the wrong thing altogether or a bad version. I also want to watch Kaiji, or something like that, but I can not find all episodes that are English subbed/dubbed. What have you gotten me into???

          6. Liza says:

            i had no idea that the expression ” je t’aime, moi non plus ” was taken from a song, i don’t know that song, i never listen to it, i will, thank you.
            for me, it is just an expression commonly used to describe an unstable relationship where the two parties are not sure wether they love eachother or not, and are going back and forth.

          7. Liza says:

            my parents didn’t minde my weird theories, and i learned early that i souldn’t share my thoughts with others children, and certainly not with tachers, it allowed me to keep my mental playground safe of any contradiction.
            i never knew that a number theory exists about decoration, sounds verry cool.
            Akagi is verry good, and the adaptation is made by madhouse, i just love their style, with studio piero or tv tokyo usually the first 3 or 4 episodes are good but then the qualitty drops, but with madhouse and ghibli it remains amazing till the end.
            not all mangas are adapted to animes, only the most popular ones, you should read it, there are many sites that hoste scanalisations of it, mangago for exemple, plus animes are not always canon, so the best choices is always the mangas.

          8. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

            Liza: If you get the chance, can you look into Liar Game, and see what I can watch. That one is problematic for me. Many other anime/manga I can tell what to watch or what to read, but if anything you see that is good enough for Liar Game for me to look at, even non-anime, I would appreciate. I will look into the scanned manga, but right now, I am not ready to read that many, but prefer to watch, except for the One Outs manga series, but I am definitely not in the mood to spend that much money for it, at this time. Plus, the One Outs character reminds me of HG. in many ways….Don`t tell HG, though (it`s a secret).

          9. Liza. Thank you for the Anime/Manga info and website. Gold.

          10. Violetta says:


            I don’t know if the expression or the song came first, but apparently the song was banned in many countries because Jane Birkin’s gasps and moans were considered too explicit.

            Pretty tame now, compared to your average rap song.


          11. Liza says:

            you are most welcom !

          12. Liza says:

            i’m not pro sensureship, but gaspes and moans are defently off limits in Liza’s kingdom.

        2. MB says:

          I’m not pretending I like something when I don’t. I wouldn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings either. I feel bad for saying a cow pie is more interesting that Mr. Fifth Beatle’s painting now! Each to his own taste.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I’m calling pretentious those who try, not you! Quite the opposite. I’d like to know why HG liked that particular painting though because it’s not my taste either…

          2. WokeAF says:

            So not everyone has a colour for numbers heh
            Well I figured that part was just part of my Loony

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            WoneAF, you are a synesthete.

          4. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Sorry for the typo. I read a few comments and you sound like I did when I found out other people didn’t see colors in numbers nor letters.

          5. WokeAF says:

            I don’t see it physically the colour number thing, it’s an association. Not all numbers either
            1 – white/cream , 2-red, etc
            In fact I was thinking a while ago About asking on Facebook if other people will touch colours to their numbers but then I totally forgot until last night when I read your thing lol
            about asking on Facebook if other people will touch colours to their numbers but then I totally forgot until last night when I read your thing

            Now seeing colours when there’s a loud band, I’ve definitely seen those colours haha

          6. WokeAF says:

            Loud bang ^*

          7. Liza says:

            when i was a child i was convinced tha numbers had personalities, i had numbers i like others i could barely stand, i knew that some numbers get along and other don’t, and yes they all have colours.
            now i know that i was the one creating personalities for them, but at the moment you couldn’t make me let go of theidea that they have personalities.

          8. Desirée says:

            My non-native brain wondered if Cow Pie was a variation on the classic Steak Pie. I stand corrected.

          9. MB says:

            It’s all education here Desireé. 😆

          10. NarcAngel says:

            Hahaha. I’m glad you worked that out before any visit to the U.S.

      3. lisk says:

        . . . and then hope you’re not stuck in a movie like Dressed to Kill.

      4. SMH says:

        Liza, That’s hysterical. I’m going to remember those lines.

        1. Liza says:

          ha ha, it’s an honor !

    5. Desirée says:

      It’s a Stuart Sutcliffe painting, he’s considered to be one of the pioneers of Abstract Expressionism and was a heralded student in Hamburg which has one of the best schools of the country. This painting of his has what looks like a sepia or black and white filter on it. Most of his paintings are renowned for his distinct colour combinations, some of which have an almost glooming undertone to them. He was considered to be an extremely expressive painter with a lot of potential. Unfortunately, his career was cut short due to his early death and it appears that few of his paintings are still in existence, some of which are worth millions.

      1. MB says:

        Thank you Desireé. Unbelievable some of the paintings are worth millions! Thank you for explaining it in more detail. I’m glad there are people that can appreciate his life’s work.

        I’m not trying to look like a redneck, but it really does look like he caked the paint on with a putty knife to me. Something a child could do. Maybe I’ll never “get” it. I’m doomed to redneckery! If only I had been born in Milan instead…

        1. Desirée says:

          You’re welcome, I think a lot of it comes down to rarity and you’re certainly not a redneck for not relating to this kind of art. Everyone likes different art that ressonates with them and that’s entirely valid. It’s there for you to experience and enjoy, not as a signifier of status or education. I very much like Romanticism for example (which is kind of an Empath cliché and easy for narcissists to exploit) and some people find it frilly and naive, especially the German Movement. It intended a deep appreciation for the beauty of nature and the exaltation of emotion over reason, of the senses over intellect. “Sehnsucht” and “Wanderlust” were core motives of it’s time. Some people might find it cheesy or even unworthy but it soothes my soul to look at these paintings and thats what it is supposed to do in my opinion. If you look into it a little bit, I am sure you would find a certain time period that resonates with you a lot as well and it’s very interesting to learn about the cultural influences of the time that resulted in the type of art you like!

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I like Romanticism too! It’s not cheesy! Haters gonna hate! Can’t wait to see William Blake’s printings!!

          2. MB says:

            Desireé, “Wanderlust” certainly sounds like something I could get excited about!

            Thank you for your kind words. I tend to beat myself up over these things. I feel like there must be something others see that I don’t.

          3. NarcAngel says:


            I don’t really “get” a lot of art either. I only know what I like, so I went to an art exhibit to see if it was any different up close to famous paintings (Picasso and a bunch of other dudes lol). Nope. There were others “Grey Pouponing” over them, so I listened to them and really tried. I looked at them from all angles, from far back, and so far forward that I got a warning. Nothing. It’s the Emperor’s New Clothes to me, but I’m glad if others get something out of it. I do wonder what they see, but then they must wonder how I can find satisfaction in a container store or a well organized closet. You’re just fine loving the glittery unicorns if they make you happy. It makes me happy that they make you happy.

          4. MB says:

            I love you NA. We are definitely sisters! Grey Pouponing is perfect as a verb and The Emporer’s New Clothes is how I feel about art too. I DO understand perfectly the satisfaction in organization and container stores. THAT I “get”. Girl, don’t even get me started on the satisfaction of a balanced bank statement! Bring on the panty liners, I’m headed to the container aisle. I’ve got some glitter, unicorns, (and receipts) to organize!

          5. Lorelei says:

            NA—paintings impress me very little, but I really like thinking of handmade jewelry or pottery as more up my aisle. Vendors selling their own craft is more interesting to me than Picasso. My friend and I do museums on occasion but it’s really more of a venue to hang out!

          6. NarcAngel. says:

            Yes, it’s good to be open and try new things. There are many things my friends suggest that initially I think don’t interest me, but ultimately I am going because I enjoy their company (as it sounds is the case with you) and sometimes I find that I enjoyed the activity more than I thought.

          7. Lorelei says:

            Exactly—I have more energy now too whereas life was drudgery before. It still amazes me how I think of the before/during/after/now. Narcissists can absolutely steal your soul. It’s worse than severe iron deficiency anemia. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I hate how my mom was depleted for years too—and she doesn’t even know. When my dad died she reinvigorated and I see it in hindsight.

          8. WokeAF says:

            Yes to the energy coming back.
            And the lowering of ET is substantial

            Just now my babydaddy cornered me in my car (small town) after he left several (ignored) phone calls and texts asking for favours.

            I stated my NO clearly and was subjected to heated fury, blameshifting, pity plays, name calling, projection
            And when I didn’t react but simply stated I had to go and started my car- he triangulated the kid into it (ouch) then flounced off.

            This in the space of less than a few minutes.

            I can feel the anxiety still but I’m ok.

            I’ve decided to file papers for child support , I just don’t need this hassle-even at bare minimum interaction.

            But I have 85 other pressing matters damnit

            I’m finding the longer I’m NC (or bare minimum) with all my narcs- the more energy comes back to tackle my other challenges and to do so without ET

          9. Lorelei says:

            Woke—one glorious element is that behavior such as cornering you can be grounds that there is maybe a child exchange at a police station. You do not have to tolerate one ounce of this ever.

          10. WokeAF says:

            Oh we only have one left at home and he’s 16. There’s no child exchange , he makes no effort to see him anymore.
            Im not afraid of him or anything he just hasn’t figured out that I gave up my role as mommy and won’t save him if he’s in a pinch anymore – he thinks I’m being some kind of way out of anger and that’s not a surprise anymore
            Normally he’s quite benign he just had a hissy bc he wanted a favour and I said no lol

            I’m cool

          11. Lorelei says:

            Good to hear! It would be very difficult to manage babies and toddlers with a mid-range narcissist (for instance).

          12. Desirée says:

            I’m glad you like it, as well! My mother used to call it “children’s art” because of how wholesome it can be and would take me to exhibitions I liked just to be visibly bored, but honestly I remember some of her more eccentric paintings giving me nightmares so she better let me enjoy myself haha
            Wiliam Blake made printings? I did not know that! That sounds fantastic, can’t wait to see them! I love when artists are so multifaceted and gifted in several arts, especially when it’s Romanticism!

          13. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hundreds!!!! Come on Desirée, join me! I’ll be there anytime between now and February.


          14. lisk says:

            Oh, wow, SP! Thanks for sharing that link!

            I went to the Blake exhibition at the Tate in 2000. It was most wonderful. What was especially awesome about it was the opportunity to see Patti Smith play in a church. Her performance in St. James’, Piccadilly was in connection with the exhibition, mainly because William Blake’s work had such a huge influence on her own poetry. It was a great concert and the only real reason my friend and I flew to London for the weekend. It was the Blake exhibition that was the bonus.

            I might just go check out the bonus again at Christmas!

          15. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Lisk, I’m going to London just for this too. I am also using this trip as a shock therapy. My narc has used London as a luring-then-punishing element on me, and every time I went there it was in a way related to him, positively or negatively. This time I’m going on my own and for something that is very dear to me.

          16. lisk says:

            That’s wonderful, SP, that you will now be making London your own!

            If any feelings about your narc bubble or well up when you arrive, I hope you allow yourself to feel them and ride it

          17. lisk says:

            …and ride it out so that your London experience is all your own.

          18. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Lisk, how beautiful the ride it…. ride it out falling off the line, and catching up again in the next comment! Lol. I can’t think of my narc because I’d I do my friend in London is gonna ask Boris Johnson to deport me (her own words). I’ll be good. Blake is too good to be thinking of anything else.

          19. NarcAngel says:

            This time you’ll purge any punishment and reclaim ot as your own. If any thought of N comes up switch it to Where’s Waldo (HG) just for fun and to erase ex N

          20. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Where’s Waldo! Hahaha!

          21. Sweetest Perfection says:

            For anyone interested: I just got a notification from the Tate Modern about an exhibition that just opened on one of my favorite groundbreaking and revolutionary avant-garde artists, Dora Maar. She had an impressive collection of photomontages that influenced Surrealism, she was one of Picasso’s muses, and she also had very unique photographs and worked in the fashion industry. I am sure my London friend is gonna be fed up with me but I’m getting tickets too. I can’t wait!!!

          22. Desirée says:

            That looks amazing, I am definitely going there! Thank you for bringing this to my attention SP and bonus points that it’s open until next Febuary in London. I can combine it with visiting the Leonardo da Vinci exhibition



          23. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Yes, the Italian colleague that invited me as a guest speaker last week mentioned the Da Vinci exhibition. Unfortunately, I’ll just have time in December to travel to Europe to visit family and see the Blake exhibit, and then back to the USA. It’s hard when you live so far!

        2. Desirée says:

          Nothing to beat yourself up about! Art is a visceral experience and it’s there for you to enjoy!
          If you like the concept of Wanderlust, you might like Karl Friedrich Schinkel’s “Landscape with Pilgrim”. Just pull it on a fullscreen and see how you feel about it. He has some other magnificent paintings as well, they are breathtaking in person.

          1. Violetta says:

            Looks like a set for a Tolkien movie.

          2. Desirée says:

            “Landscape with Pippin”

        3. MB: Remember the Tulip debacle. Many lost fortunes. First one is told what to like, and how much it should be valued, but, then when it collapses, one is told they should have followed their initial instincts. hahaha. Many things of value are only valuable because many people are conditioned to give it that value. Or, the few are strong enough to prop up its value. One can go with the flow, of course, but keep your instincts somewhere that you can locate them during an emergency. That way you can sometimes prevent oneself from being the last one in, and holding the losing straw, while the others have sold out, and are riding off into the sunset.

      2. Sweetest Perfection says:

        You’re right, Desirée. Do you like his work? I was not very familiar until recently, though some of it looks more Dada-influenced to me than expressionist. I wonder why HG likes that particular painting, I wish he told us.

        1. Desirée says:

          My mother is very into this kind of expressionist art although my personal tastes run more along the lines of German Romanticissm (The Wanderer above the Sea of Fog is one of my favourites) , Baroque or even Renaissance. I always used to wonder what my mother felt when she looked at her paintings, all of which where in this expressionist kind of style, and I am still not entirely sure.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Thanks for sharing that info, Desirée. I love abstract art but I prefer the predecessors of abstract expressionism. Dada and Cubism are my favorites, but also Bauhaus, Futurism… mostly post-WWI/pre-WWII, though Expressionism in general was never my thing. I don’t get “moved” by visual art since my synesthesia works from sounds to colors, not the other way around.

          2. Desirée says:

            Thank you for sharing your experience with you synesthesia, I had never considered how that would impact the perception of art! Can you elaborate on what kind of art moves you and what first comes to your attention?

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            It’ll be my pleasure! I actually participated in a research study a few months ago. I thought it was gonna be fast but they got me doing testing for over an hour. Still, the tools are not very accurate yet, I explained to them they needed to make a few changes, like use different instruments for sound because instruments have texture and it’s not just the musical note. Anyway the results explained I have a very intense case of grapheme-color synesthesia, and sequence-space synesthesia, followed by chromesthesia/photisms. I see color in sounds and sometimes flashes of light of different degrees and color in sudden loud sounds like car honks or door slamming. Music is the type of art that causes more sensorial stimulation in me. For a painting to cause that type of reaction, it needs to be paintings where spatial sequence is heavily manipulated, as in Cubism, or it includes numbers and letters as in Dada art and Lettrism. I appreciate art in many forms, but not everything moves my senses literally speaking (a different thing is emotions or memories associated to a certain piece).

          4. NarcAngel says:

            Wow. What’s it like when you get a headache? Seriously.

          5. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Interestingly, I don’t get headaches. That’s very rare.

          6. Sweetest Perfection says:

            On the other hand, let me tell you all this is worth absolutely nothing. I can’t use it to make money out of it or for anything practical. Like being a Carrier, it doesn’t bring any benefits. Such is my life!

          7. NarcAngel says:

            Lee me tell you it’s worth it if you rarely get headaches alone! I can’t imagine it’s not worth anything. I just hope people who have it can find the reason they have it. We all have benefit and it has nothing to do with categories, so stop that negative self talk in it’s tracks girl.

          8. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahaha you’re right! Hey, at least there’s never an excuse for sex on my part!

          9. Sweetest Perfection says:

            NA, it’s just that I find myself justifying my synesthesia all the time because a lot of people think that either a) I’m making it up or b) it’s something that makes you special. The first group is what I call the ignorants because synesthesia is a phenomenon that affects a moderately big percentage of the population, enough to be able to be recognized scientifically. In the second group, there are a lot of people that think I can feel if a person is good or not -I can’t- and then there’s another group that wants to say they have it too because it sounds exotic. It is only as exotic as being color blind, that’s it. It is as mundane and void of mystery as being a Carrier, which I consider the most utilitarian cadre. No supernovas for me!

          10. NarcAngel says:

            I guess I should stop saying that trying to figure out a narc is like trying to smell the number 9. Some probably can, and it’s confusing them.

          11. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahahaha live and learn! Number 9, that grey mean ass…

          12. WokeAF says:

            This is crazy I never put much thought into this let alone google it.
            My narcs have colour associations –
            Narcoholic is a dirty green/brown
            Babydaddy is a dark blue/ brown
            (Both remind me of mud)
            My MMR is yellow

            In fact some of the schools have a colour too
            LL-Dark green/brown, ML- Dark blue/brown, UL dirty yellow
            LMR- dark green/brown

            And HG is platinum silver

            Sun is brown , Mon is dark brown, Tues is yellow, Wed is red/purple , Thurs is orange, Friday is green, sat is yellow

            Only certain numbers have it
            5 purple
            6 yellowish white
            9 yellow
            11 white/yellow
            14 blue
            21 green

            These are just associations tho
            I actually see a flash of colour with a loud sound but only sometimes.

            Ummm maybe off topic but does anyone ever hear their name shouted (in their head) when they’re just falling asleep?

            Since I also just assumed this was ME thought I’d ask

          13. Sweetest Perfection says:

            No supernovas because I’m also standard. Standard standard! No magical sparkle!

          14. NarcAngel says:

            Everyone secretly loves to drive a standard.

          15. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Awwwww 😘😘😘 (I know I know, too many kisses. You can keep one and reserve the other two for December and January consecutively).

          16. E. B. says:

            There was a synesthete I used to know who could memorize names and numbers by associating them with a picture he had made up in his mind. He associated every name with a short story. It was impressive.

            I understand that synesthesia is sensory and not related to memory. However, synesthetes can use their creativity to memorize a large amount of information. They say that synesthetes take this ability for granted because it feels natural to them.

            I see your ability as a gift.

          17. Sweetest Perfection says:

            E.B.,that’s true. I have an impressive memory. I read somewhere they are trying to teach how to use this technique that for us synesthetes comes naturally to non-synesthetes in order to enhance their memory abilities.

          18. Desirée says:

            That is fascinating! Thank you for elaborating on that, I have trouble wrapping my head around how that would affect someone on the daily but I keep reading your post and trying to get more information haha
            Would you mind talking about how you found out that you had synesthesia? Is it something that impacts on day to day life or are you just used to it? Sorry if I’m being nosey I just find this really interesting!

          19. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Desirée, it doesn’t bother me or affect me because it’s the way I perceive the world, I don’t know any other. I thought everyone had the same experience until one day I told a classmate that her name was pretty because it was blue. She thought I was crazy. The correspondence between letters, numbers, and colors is the most common form of synesthesia but it’s personal and non-transferable. I read the poem “Voyelles” by Rimbaud, in which he assigns a color to each vowel, and I don’t agree with him. To me, my real name is white, ironically, my narc’s is black. It has nothing to do with feelings just with letters. I called us the yin and yang because I’m romantic and stupid. In a way it was true he was my negative. The days of the week have a color. My favorite day of the week is Thursdays and it is burgundy red. The months have a color too and so do numbers. Anyway, the space synesthesia is the most interesting one to me. I see time in shapes, not linear. If there’s an important event I need to remember the whole calendar turns around in my head to outline that day, that’s why I do have a great memory for dates. I never told my family because in reality it doesn’t make any difference, until one day a couple of summers ago, my dad said something like: “artichokes taste blue.” So it’s inherited I guess, though I don’t see color in taste. Some time ago I explained I had started to see lights when having tactile experiences, I was at the doctor and she caused a huge lightening, it didn’t hurt it was just blinding and caught me by surprise. But I haven’t had that happen again.

          20. SMH says:

            SP, The only time that happened to me is when I was tripping.

          21. Sweetest Perfection says:

            SMH, that is very common and also with marijuana. I don’t need any of the two for that though but I know it enhances that kind of sensorial experience.

          22. SMH says:

            SP, I hope you don’t think I was implying that you must be on drugs lol. I wasn’t but I can see now how my comment might be misconstrued. I know that some people have synesthesia and I was glad to be able to experience it.

          23. Sweetest Perfection says:

            SMH don’t worry, I didn’t read that message in your comments. I just added that clarification because my synesthesia is not induced, but I know it can be, though in that case it only lasts for as long as the drug effects last.

          24. WokeAF says:

            I just found out now!! Lmao

          25. WokeAF says:

            Sweet P
            Colour in sudden loud sounds!! I get that! But mainly if I’m resting, eyes closed, all relaxed- a sudden loud sound I’ll see a flash of colour ,(closed eyes)

          26. MB says:

            I get that too WAF. Surely it’s common with loud sounds.

          27. WokeAF says:

            Sweet P I’m blown away , I never even THOUGHT about this until now- I figured everyone had it (colours with loud noise)
            So now I googled it and it says it might be linked to autism – which I almost certainly carry for my boy to have it ;my dad and both my paternal and maternal uncles are recluses )

            This is “clown shoes” (my new fave phrase I picked up on the Odd thread lol)

            I didn’t know there was a word for this even

          28. Sweetest Perfection says:

            WAF, photism by itself is a very common synesthetic experience that doesn’t need to be linked to autism at all. Light flashes could be linked to many neurological conditions and even to glaucoma, but in my case that’s just a minimal synesthetic experience, the most constant one is the assignment of colors to numbers letters etc, and the spatial configuration of dates, weeks and months.

          29. Desirée says:

            What do you mean there are no benefits to being a Carrier? Carriers tend to be quite practical and well-grounded which are admirable traits for anyone to have. A lot of people appreciate the level-headedness, including yours truly!

          30. Desirée says:

            Please tell me what colour is my name!? I never even knew some people can perceive the world so differently, that is fascinating! And I love that Thursday is a burgundy red, that’s lovely. The fact your narcs name is black is such a red flag. Haha!

          31. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Last pear on the right, I believe the paint color is “Valspar.” It’s the closest I could find, sorry for the website:


          32. Desirée says:

            Woah…that is an incredibly beautiful shade of gold! I thought it would just be purple or something but wow I am so happy! And the amount of detail you can give is impressive as well! Even going so far as differentiating between four different shades of gold here. Do you have favourite colours, then? And favourite numbers or letters associated with it? I wish we could switch minds for a day, I cannot even wrap my head around what space synesthesia would be like!

          33. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I’ll answer later as HG is enjoying Pollock and I don’t want to disturb.

          34. Sweetest Perfection says:

            My favorite color is forest green/dark emerald green, although I never wear it because it doesn’t flatter my olive skin (olive on olive haha). I like ocean blue and burgundy red. When I hear someone’s voice I see the general color and the texture too. There are studies that explain the importance of personal associations to assign colors, memories and experiences help in that, that’s why it’s a personal thing and not all synesthetes share the same correspondence. So that you understand why I see your name as brassy gold, Desiree has a similar sound to “oro/or” which means gold in Italian Spanish and French. It brings forth Dior’s J’adore which is associated with the French word “or,” or gold. But there’s also a similar sound with Disaronno, an Italian liquor that has a honey-brown color, although the “r” to me is mostly green. All of those experiences are mixed together when I hear your name and the brassy golden metallic color comes immediately to mind. I don’t think about each of these elements unless I stop to analyze it like I did now. But don’t get too happy! That’s MY view of your name. Another synesthete will have a different opinion. I don’t choose, I hate color white and my name is purely white.

          35. Desirée says:

            You must be mistaken. That Pollock Painting enjoys looking at HIM.

          36. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Yes, like the Caravaggio painting of Narcissus. Art staring at art, but it’s just him in the end. Haha.

          37. Violetta says:

            I had intense synesthesia as a child, but it has faded somewhat. I used to wonder why it wasn’t obvious to everyone that a song that wandered in and out of minor and major keys was purple. Didn’t say it aloud though; I knew better by that time.

          38. Desirée says:

            Agreed. Perhaps Narcissisionism will just be HG on a pedestal. Then paintings of several artists will be ushered in so they can admire the artwork.

          39. NarcAngel says:

            You lot of naughty imps are going to get a lickin’ … err…a spankin’…. err….oh fuck it! You’re going to get your own room in the dungeon when the boss gets back. With no artwork and no puddin’.

          40. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Haha I don’t mind going in the dungeon when we have the best DJ. Black celebration!

          41. Desirée says:

            I can’t go in the dungeon! Lorelei drank my wine, kept my sheep fur and I lost my favourite candle!

          42. Lorelei says:

            I’m keeping the sheep fur.

          43. Violetta says:

            What, exactly, is “the dungeon”?

          44. Sweetest Perfection says:

            It’s a huge club with alternative music, right?

          45. NarcAngel says:

            Shhh! Don’t piss it up! We’re supposed to be punished not partying. Can you play the spoons?

            ** side eyes **

            No reason.

          46. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Oops! Bigmouth strikes again. I know nothing…. (pass me the bottle please, shhh).

          47. NarcAngel says:

            It’s a running joke that we are sent (or voluntarily shuffle off to when we know it’s inevitable) to the dungeon in Tudor Towers when we run afoul of the rules or upset The Tude. Talking about baking or recipes for instance. HG is the only one allowed to bake cakes (see The Empathy Cake). We’ve also been sent there when we’ve been cheeky in our responses to HG and he’s not having it. The naughty stool is there also. I was always on it, so I have my own – it’s the one with the well worn grooves. There is also a naughty step for occasions when there are a couple involved. I have also been thrown in the moat.

          48. WokeAF says:

            The Tude!


          49. Sweetest Perfection says:

            The more you guys talk about it, the more it sounds like a cool club.

          50. Violetta says:

            So does this mean people may be forbidden to post temporarily or even banned permanently?

            Wasn’t there someone who tried posting under multiple names, but HG recognized who it really was? I missed this person’s heyday, but some the attempt to sneak back.

          51. HG Tudor says:

            Nobody receives a blanket ban. Every post is assessed on its own merits with regard to whether it proceeds through the moderation process. Nobody gets banned.

          52. Violetta says:

            Of course we get no pudden. How can we have any pudden if we don’t eat our meat?

          53. Desirée says:

            “The Dungeon” does sound like a Berlin underground club. And Lorelei has her study next door as well, there’s so much potential down there.

          54. WokeAF says:

            As a teen in downtown Toronto I went to a goth / British punk club called Death In The Underground.
            It was awesome. I had a fling w a guy named Shadow (real name Corey)
            There was one down the street called Sanctuary .
            It was all very Anne Rice in my life back then

          55. Desirée says:

            That does sound very Anne Rice, I don’t think many people can lay claim to having had a fling with a guy named Shadow…was he wearing a waistcoat, was there emotional leeching involved, did he disengage by twirling his cape?

          56. WokeAF says:

            Unfortunately while that description fits 90% of the men (and I use that term loosely) that attended Death , Shadow aka Corey ( he was totally just a Corey) simply wore mostly black, had long hair and painted his nails black.
            He was more reminiscent of Sebastian Bach of Skid Row. But he was the first guy I orgasmed with -so points for Shadow Corey

        2. Desirée says:

          The person you’re remembering is Pamela. Lovely Pam likes to go by the name Truth, Honest Truth, Brutal Truth…you get the idea. She’s a real charmer and you can witness her homecoming here:

          She’s intelligent enough to try and gain HGs approval but not intelligent enough to change her profile picture, e-mailadress or general way of expression.
          I hear she now finished her degree in burger flipping.

          1. SMH says:

            Oh wow. Interesting. I would never have known without someone pointing it out.

          2. Violetta says:

            Thank you, Desirée.

            Do you have any links to early appearances by her on Narcsite, so I can see the narc patterns? The exchange on Secrets was too short for me to spot anything characteristic. Her post looked to me like something anyone might write, so she must have exhibited some very distinctive behaviors elsewhere.

          3. Desirée says:

            Violetta and SMH
            Found it, I have never been more proud of myself.


            Scroll past the friendly banter about HGs new profile picture and it leads you to the gravy train of “Pamela Dianne” getting more and more excited.

          4. SMH says:

            Ah I remember that now, Desiree. Thanks! You can just search on Pamela and it will take you to the first comment. Follow it from there!

      3. lisk says:

        One of the pioneers of Abstract Expressionism?

        That movement started a bit before Sutcliffe started painting.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Way earlier yes.

        2. Desirée says:

          and I did not say he started it.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Desirée, pioneer means that he was among the first, which he wasn’t, that’s what Lisk meant. However, excellent job recognizing him as the author of that painting, it was not an easy task! You nailed it, it was impressive. Unless you tell me now your mom has a copy of it over her bed frame , in which case it must have been easy for you haha.

          2. lisk says:

            I believe you said he was a pioneer. Perhaps I misread.

          3. Desirée says:

            His work in Hamburg was defining, hence he was one of the first to introduce new ideas in a new area, which I understand to be pioneerswork.
            Surely the movement was around before him but gained no popularity here until around the mid 60s, when he had started. But that is from a German’s point of view, I understand he did not originate it as it came from the States and that was not the point I was trying to make.

          4. lisk says:

            Thank you for clarifying your point and giving context around it, Desirée.

            It makes sense that post-war Germany would have taken a little while to catch up, even at the point. to a movement that was about twenty years old.

            However, Stuart Sutcliffe died in 1962.

          5. Desirée says:

            Correct. The paintings of his untitled Hamburg Series are dated 1961-1962 and are considered his most notable work here. It is not a matter of catching up post war but of cultural interest and Zeitgeist. I looked up the New York movement which was said to have started in the late 40s and find peak popularity in the early 60s, so it there is no gap here.

          6. lisk says:

            I see. I must have misread your “when he had started.”

            I am glad I asked so that you could clarify my confusion.

          7. Desirée says:

            Apologies if my rather cursory interest in the movement has caused upset. I shall from now on leave the experts to give detailed and by-the-year accurate information. On the artist they care so much about, they did not even recognize his painting.

          8. lisk says:

            Please do not apologize for causing “upset,” Desiree. You mistake my confusion and need for accuracy in this case as “upset.”

            I was confused by what I saw to be inaccuracy in what originally struck me as a very knowledgeable statement. Hence my confusion, which you clarified.

            I only knew Sutcliffe as the Fifth Beatle. You are the one who brought attention to the fact that he was a well-regarded painter. I appreciate your adding to my overall knowledge and for helping me more esteem him.

          9. Desirée says:

            All good, then. I happened to know of the painting and thought I would share what I remembered. I am glad if it was of interest and will look up timelines I am refering to instead of trying to state them off the top of my head to avoid inacurracy.

          10. lisk says:

            At first, I too saw what MB saw and was rather amazed that anyone could recognize that it was a serious art work, so definitely Brava! to you for that
            which counts much more than the detailed history of the piece.

          11. Desirée says:

            Thank you lisk! I appreciate that. It is only a small part of a painting, zoomed-in and probably with a filter to dim the colours. But this structured pattern can be found on many of his paintings in combination with his interesting colour schemes.

          12. lisk says:

            Desirée, Only “a small part of a painting?”

            I am even more impressed!

  7. MB says:

    Let the fun and games begin!

  8. MB says:

    Not just Promiscuous Boy. Mysterious Boy.

    1. E. B. says:

      The mystery grows… I am looking forward to it.

    2. AR says:


      Your sentence reminded me a video about Don Draper’s guide.

      1. MB says:


  9. Desirée says:

    Is Stuart Sutcliffe a narcissist as well

    1. lisk says:

      The Fifth Beatle?

      1. Desirée says:


        1. lisk says:

          Isn’t he, like, way dead?!

          Either way, your question has me curious. I’ll read up.

          1. Desirée says:

            Yes, past tense applies. I wrote that with reference to the picture of this entry.

          2. lisk says:

            Thanks for the clarification. I did not even see it.

        2. Violetta says:

          No way. John had far more narcy qualities, including beating up Cynthia in jealous fits when he was the one cheating.

          He almost deserved Yoko.

          1. lisk says:

            John and Yoko–was that, like, Narc-on-Narc action?

          2. Violetta says:

            Yoko outnarced everybody. She even outnarced John’s Aunt Mimi, who contrary to her firm-but-fair depictionwas actually a horrible manipulative bitch, according to both first wife Cynthia and John’s half sister.

      2. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Yea yea yea…

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