All I Want For Christmas……is Fuel



Christmas is on the horizon. A veritable fuel frenzy for my kind and a period anticipated with dread by many of our victims. There are those who know only too well the behaviour that will be engaged in which will cause Christmas Day and the surrounding days to descend into misery and chaos. They fear the encroaching festival having endured it year after year. There are others who may be in that first difficult year after their discard and will look back on how Christmas with the narcissist, that first Christmas exceeded any Christmas which had taken place beforehand. Everything was perfect. From the gift shopping together, the family parties, the romantic walks in the snow on a crisp afternoon to the exchange of thoughtful gifts amidst the seasonal and festive surrounds. It was picture perfect and of course was just us hijacking the most wonderful time of the year for our own purposes, using the heightened emotional experience of Christmas to meld with our seduction to make it simply irresistible. The joy and rapture experienced, whether it was attending that first Midnight Mass together, kissing under the mistletoe or singing carols on the way home from the pub, is long gone. All that remains is the memory of that wonderful time and it hurts to be reminded of just how wonderful it was last year, compared to how empty and barren it now feels.

The appetite for Christmas in either case is hugely diminished. The latter, the discarded victim finds no joy in anything any more. There is no desire to deck the halls, no want to attend parties and instead they want the whole thing to be over with as soon as possible. For the former, there is the expectation of grinning and bearing it, making it as good as he or she possibly can, albeit with that lurking fear of it all being brought crashing to the ground as a consequence of the narcissistic temper tantrum that will inevitably appear. Just when you thought it was safe to breathe a sigh of relief, having apparently got through the day unscathed, the narcissist will unleash some kind of fuel seeking behaviour from out of nowhere. Thus, you want the whole thing to be over with as soon as possible.

Yet for our kind, Christmas presents an extravaganza of fuel-gathering activities. From the antics that will be engaged in during the Secret Santa at work, through the attention-seeking activities over Christmas lunch through to the opportunities afforded to draw in addition fuel at alcohol-infested parties, Christmas is a time of optimum fuel gathering. Chief ingredient however amongst this is the sense of expectation. It has been drummed into you to want a perfect Christmas – chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose – the elegant Christmas tree, carols drifting across the frozen air from outside, the feast prepared for all to eat, the beautifully wrapped presents sat beneath the tree, the family traditions, the mandated goodwill to all. There is meant to be peace, happiness and joy. Expectations are raised and of course this just creates more targets for us to aim at.

You have worked hard to ensure the house is spotless, festooned with festive finery, presents bought and wrapped, relatives organised to attend, cupboards fit to burst with fayre and drink. You have endured the mayhem at supermarkets and department stores, anxiously waited for the delivery drivers to bring your online purchases and so forth. You have created the perfect Christmas tableaux and we are ready with our wrecking ball all in the name of fuel.

For the fortunate few who are in the heady days of seduction, Christmas will be truly magical. Nobody does Christmas like our kind – be it the amazing or the abhorrent. As creatures of the extreme, we surpass all belief. For another lucky group, Christmas may well coincide with a Respite Period and thus all is golden, if only for a few days as we put on our best behaviour and drink up the positive fuel lavished on us by grateful friends and family who are relieved not to have to tread on egg(nog)shells this year.

For the majority however, it is to be endured as we disrupt, spoil, wreck and bring drama on the one time when you really, really do not want it. All in the name of fuel as we greedily drink up your frustrated tears, your angry rants and sobbing hysteria as we ruin yet another Christmas.

So, since all we want for Christmas is fuel, what can you expect from our kind at Christmas? The list is almost endless and here are but some of the behaviours that we roll out at this time of year.

  1. Failing to buy you anything or something inappropriate such as a flashlight from the garage last minute.
  2. Berating what you buy for us no matter how thoughtful, how expensive or even if we asked for it.
  3. Refusing to participate in party games or engaging in them and throwing a hissy fit when we lose or engaging in excessive pettiness about the rules.
  4. Turning up late or not at all for scheduled festive events.
  5. Talking in church so people turn and look at us.
  6. Eating food that was to be saved for other people
  7. Making the carol singers stand and sing for some time without offering them anything
  8. Not helping you at all with preparation for Christmas
  9. Arguing about which visitors to receive and when
  10. Telling the children that Santa Claus is not real so they cry.
  11. Telling people what has been bought for them before they can open their present.
  12. Failing to thank people for gifts or putting their gift choices down
  13. Sending obviously recycled gifts to other people
  14. Attending other people’s parties and being drunk and obnoxious
  15. Excessive flirting with other people much to the embarrassment of our other half and hosts
  16. Refusing to play carols and insisting on unseasonal dance music or thrash metal being played
  17. Fiddling on our ‘phones at every opportunity – during Christmas lunch, at church, when the children are opening their presents, when attending drinks at someone else’s house
  18. Purposefully disappearing at inopportune times – Christmas lunch, carol concert, present opening
  19. Picking a fight over trivial items such as the pigs in blankets not being done the way we like them, or too many red baubles being placed on the tree.
  20. Purposefully breaking gifts
  21. Inviting people round and then refusing to answer the door to them
  22. Telling children that you have spoken to Santa and he will not be visiting because they have been bad
  23. Photoshopping a picture of Santa lying in a pool of blood and showing the children telling them that Christmas is cancelled
  24. Refusing to give you sufficient money to buy things at Christmas or claiming that certain things cannot be afforded and then spending a large sum on ourselves
  25. Preventing you from attending social events without us
  26. Putting down your choice of attire when attending a Christmas event
  27. Not clapping and even booing when attending a Christmas show or pantomime
  28. Making grand entrances at parties, grand flourishes when giving presents and ensuring that all eyes are on us.
  29. Getting drunk and insulting people
  30. Competing with the neighbours for the most illuminated and decorated house in the street
  31. Refusing to get out of bed on Christmas morning
  32. Attending sporting events around Christmas and not family ones
  33. Hogging the television and selecting non-Christmas programmes
  34. Demanding the decorations be taken down the day after Christmas
  35. Switching off the oven part way through your cooking so it is either delayed or ruined and then blaming you
  36. Watching you slave over a hot stove and then suggesting to everybody that you go out to eat instead
  37. Turning up empty-handed at parties and blaming you for forgetting the gift/food/drink.
  38. Lavishing attention on one person and ignoring everybody else
  39. Walking around with mistletoe and kissing people for far too long
  40. Disrupting/being awkward concerning co-parenting over the Christmas period.

It all adds up to bah humbug!

What have been your narc nightmares at Christmas?

17 thoughts on “All I Want For Christmas……is Fuel

  1. Bubbles ๐Ÿพ says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Just did an early Christmas lunch with my mum
    Mr Bubbles had barely stepped inside the door and she had a bone to pick with him ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
    Christmas fuel is right !
    Luv Bubbles xx

  2. Bubbles ๐Ÿพ says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Mr Bubbles n I invited our “greater” friend and his wife around last weekend for Chrissie drinks
    As soon as he walked in, we knew… we just knew ! He had that look!
    I commented on his lovely Hawaiian shirt
    He replied “it’s not Hawaiian”
    I said “oh but it has lovely palm trees and hibiscus on it”
    He retaliated “they don’t call shirts in Hawaii, Hawaiian shirts”
    I replied “well, yes they do”
    After leading them outside to the patio, I directed them to their respective seats
    He said “I’m sitting here” (on the end by himself, rather than all of us opposite each other and for easy access to the superb Xmas platter)
    I asked him “not going to sit next to your lovely wife Reggie?
    “No, I’m sitting here and I’m not moving” he snarled
    He then went on to berate a mutual friend (his wife interjecting saying that’s personal and private and he shouldn’t be spilling the beans)
    He didn’t care and kept going and said “this is my story and you should all be focused on me ”
    He then decided to go into great lengths to describe a meeting with someone he had just met …….and then a “busker” he came across whilst out shopping and felt a compulsion to record his music ( it was Reggies own personal favourite music) for us to see ( the reason they were a tad late)
    Luckily, he picked up after going inside for dinner and thankfully our daughter dropped in (she has no qualms paying him out)
    He mentioned this bloke … who was bald
    I commented bald men reminded me of newborn babies (brain reference to a couple of your pics Mr Tudor, haha )
    Well…. that set him off !
    He came up with names of all the bald men he could think of
    The next day, he was sending me pics of bald headed men …..I didn’t react, he’s now stopped and gone silent
    Thank goodness Mr Bubbles n I don’t take him seriously
    Mr Tudor, you’re accuracy is phenomenal
    Merry Christmas ๐ŸŽ„
    Luv Bubbles xx ๐Ÿ˜˜ ๐Ÿคถ๐Ÿป

    Ps …. our “dear ol friend” is being an absolute “grinch” in the aged care home … but that’s a whole new story ..๐Ÿคฃ

    1. Bubbles ๐Ÿพ says:

      Dear Mr Tudor ,
      Today, I just received one pic of “mini me ” from Austin powers
      They just can’t let go ! ๐Ÿคฃ
      Luv Bubbles xx

  3. This is how i started to realise my father was a narc after being brought up being told he was manic depressive. He used to stay in bed until lunchtime and then we kids used to take it in turns to tip toe into his room asking if he would come down for the xmas meal. If we spoke too loudly or asked in the wrong way he would โ€˜go off on oneโ€™. Then our meals would go cold waiting for him. After that came the presents and we would go through the whole process again to get him to present opening. He said nothing about his presents – perfectly po faced. Then number 3 in spades. Boxing Day trip to relatives was like a visit of tickety boo fame like HG where everything would appear perfect from the outside. I have actually spent my adult years having a xmas day as unlike that one as i can.

  4. FREEDOM says:

    His mum had cancer last year ( if it is true) so he suggested to be the two of us for Christmas. First his family invited me then his mum was sick so they cancelled. I never met his family. I did not want to introduce him to my family last year it was far too soon. I am the kind of person who like enjoying simple things rather than big parties. We were cooking together wearing casual outfit, tasting wine listening to music…
    he started to yell like a crazy person at the moment I suggested to wear something nice before starting officially the Christmas dinner. Eyes were popping out. I was scared and I went into the bedroom shocked. He came after 20 minutes telling me to stop behaving like a child that food was ready. I was shocked. I was at his place and I did already drink to much wine at that moment to drive home ( 1 hour from his place).
    I gave him my present. No present for me. Next morning I woke up and he said: let’s go see under the tree….I run to look for my present but no present. He was laughing telling me that I misunderstood …he was just saying that we could be lying under the tree in order to watch the television.

    Thanks God this Christmas no evil only love and family.
    I start to have mercy on him. Sad life

  5. Kelly says:

    My ex mother in law would give gifts. She would wrap stuff up from around the house she had. And give them for Christmas presents. She had money to buy gifts. Sometimes it would be garage sale items. The ones that were less than a quarter. And leave the sticker price on them. One year I got the small bottles of shampoo for the hotel and hotel soap..

  6. Kim says:

    What a great list- number 16 did make me laugh ๐Ÿ˜‚ The narc won’t stop hoovering it’s wearing me down- but he will have to inflict his Christmas horror plans on someone else

    1. HG Tudor says:

      How is he hoovering you?

      1. Kim says:

        Relentless messaging and attempts via facebook messenger as he does not know my address, phone number or workplace.
        Sprouting everything from how much he loves me, how he knows it hurt me and I can’t do anything about it and he doesn’t care anymore, to how it is my fault he disappeared, to how I will always be his and no one can take that away, to finally the funniest of them all ‘he is destined for greatness’. On n on n on- different accounts and tactics. You saved me HG โค

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Good to read.

          1. They dont seem to like to spend xmas without some form of partner. I had lots of hoovers at xmas time, each and every year

  7. Violetta says:

    “insisting on unseasonal dance music or thrash metal being played”

    1. Violetta says:

      Click on “I Am Santa Claus.”

  8. BL says:

    I wouldn’t classify the pigs in a blanket not being done properly as “trivial”. If the pigs aren’t wrapped tightly, and they pop out of their blankets while baking, the day is ruined.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      At last someone who understands!!

  9. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Oh god these cracked me up! I loved all of them but esp liked No7! Thank god im not having a narcy Christmas!

  10. Dolores Haze says:

    โ€œInviting people round and then refusing to answer the door to themโ€ is pure gold ๐Ÿ˜‚

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