Knowing HG


You read his words.

You listen to his videos and interviews.

You may have consulted with him.

But how much do you know about him?

Here is your chance to learn more about who HG Tudor is as he provides you with an exclusive insight into who he is and his life, his family, his romantic interests, his hatreds, his operations and more besides.

(The material is contained in a sound file which will be emailed to you.)

Knowing HG


437 thoughts on “Knowing HG

  1. WhoCares says:

    Good suggestion, re: books that HG read as a child!

    “Readers are rarer than empaths in my world.”


    But, K – don’t you work in a library?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      K probably closed it so she can read in peace!

      1. WhoCares says:


        Yep, just her and the Keurig machine.

        1. K says:

          Damn skippy; I just refilled the water in the Keurig and someone spilled sugar everywhere!

      2. K says:

        Hahahaha….everybody out! K needs quiet time to read!

    2. K says:

      Thank you WhoCares
      Literary choices are fascinating and sometimes offer insight/clues about an individual’s personality.

      Yes, I volunteer at the school library so there are many readers ages 6-11 but the only regular readers I socialize with are from Book Club once a month, 9 months out of the year; we take summers off.

      And they like “Chick Flick” books most of the time. Dreadful!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Chick flick books, burn them.

        1. K says:

          Although I loathe the idea of book burning, I completely agree with you re: Chick Flick books; burn them.

      2. WhoCares says:

        I agree re: literary choices (although I recall being surprised about Windstorm’s childhood book choices but she was limited to what was available in her home). This is partly why libraries are such valuable resources.
        I had forgot that it is a *school* library that you volunteer at.
        I loved my elementary school librarian.
        He read us all the books from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and then let us watch the animated movie version.
        He also ran enrichment programs that I enjoyed -especially a student-run fantasy themed newspaper!
        Librarians themselves are amazing resources.

        I am sorry about your “Chick Flick” book club – I’d have to quit that group!

        1. K says:

          Libraries certainly are great community resources. You can play video games, print or copy for free, there’s story time, arts and crafts, and you can check out an American Girl Doll, board games, toys or a pasta maker.

          I was thinking of switching to another book group.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Video games in a Library, what naked villainy is this, such skamelars merit a vigorous and sustained larruping!

          2. K says:

            Hahahaha….I had to Google skamelars and larruping; nice words! Video games, Virtual Reality head sets and a 3D printer. Hopefully, no one prints out a Glock.

            The video games have drawn in the younglings and I checked out the ice-cream maker over the summer; it’s was great.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            They should be reading, not Grand Theft Autoing and guzzling frozen fat, milk, sugar and egg! Where is this den of hedonism? Apporte-moi mon jeter de flame!

          4. K says:

            Hahahaha…they are hiding in the Graphic Novel section with their vanilla bean ice-cream hoping you won’t deploy your flamethrower.

          5. K says:

            Er, I forget the location of this den of hedonism, when I remember I will get back to you.

      3. Violetta says:

        K: Do you mean things like Nicholas Sparks? For a while in the oughties, a lot of my female students were reading him.

        1. K says:

          I read The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks pre Book Club and that wasn’t too bad. I did not like
          The Nest or The Goldfinch. I am trying to get The Three Musketeers or The Hunchback of Notre Dame up for vote.

  2. Cloudy says:


    Once I confronted my partner on why the hatred,resentment,and distant towards me I approached my partner and recommended that taking seperate ways would be proper & If that would be satisfying.The answer I got was I dont want that.

    I was joking and for me to think of it as DRAMA.

    Any logic behind this?

    Its very disturbing to me at the present momene

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It will be far more effective for me to explain all of this to you in a cohesive fashion through a consultation

      1. Cloudy says:

        I would appreciate your time & knowledge

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You can access it through consultation, that’s what they’re there for

  3. Cloudy says:

    Can your partner claim they love you & badmouth you behind to others?

    How about the constant lying?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      These behaviours are indicators of narcissism. If you want to know whether somebody is one, please use the Narc Detector Consultation

      1. Cloudy says:


        I cant see the emotional attachment with my partner.

        Only by words.

        Nothing from actions.

        It looks like I have a great acting show.

      2. Cloudy says:


        Im away on holidays early Feb which will give me the opportunity to consult with a clean mind being away from work etc.

      3. Cloudy says:


        In terms of behaviour,

        Ive notice my partner has noticed there traits & Is trying to adjust/alter there behavior.

  4. Cloudy says:


    Im interested in a consultation in helping understanding more about me personal situation.

    I had to change my profile name on your blog as my partner was hoovering over me.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Cloudy, by all means do organise a consultation and I’ll help you

  5. Cloudy says:


    Im interested into what causes Narcisist Individuals to twist & play the victim game with there partners?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Because all narcissists sees themselves as victims from the Narcissistic Perspective. You, the True Victim, is seen as the aggressor.

      1. Cloudy says:

        Sorry I dont follow

        Im seen as an aggressor to the narcissist?

        1. HG Tudor says:


          1. Lorelei says:

            This is accurate—my ex truly thinks I’m the crazy bad ex-wife in order for the disorder to auto pilot most effectively. Well crazy is debatable but..

        2. K says:

          It’s a very strange concept but we are always the bullies, aggressors or instigators and they are always the victim. You may find this article helpful.

          1. Cloudy says:

            Thank You HG

          2. Cloudy says:

            I ve always seen the bully behaviour

          3. K says:

            The alternative perspective is fascinating.

            The empath is “the True Victim” but the narcissistic perspective turns it around (flips it) and the Narcissist is “the victim” from her perspective. This recent example below explains it very well.

            “The Duchess may well have tried to resolve issues by speaking with Miss Markle and/or have decided not to try further because it has proven fruitless in resolving matters and thus gives up. Such a situation may then be portrayed by the narcissist as part of a Pity Play and also Projection as being on the receiving end of a silent treatment from the non-narcissist, when in effect it is not.”


          4. Cloudy says:

            I will read this article with my morning coffee.

            Thank You for forwarding it too me.

          5. K says:

            My pleasure Cloudy!
            Enjoy the reading.

          6. Cloudy says:


            Ive always know most traits in Individuals

            Only difference is that I put a name to these traits

          7. Cloudy says:

            Thanks for your views!

      2. Cloudy says:

        How would you describe your partner feeling that every family member is against them or even maybe an enemy for them?

        1. HG Tudor says:


          1. Cloudy says:

            Thats what I thought

          2. Cloudy says:

            Paranoia would fall under false beliefs to my understanding.

            I have a child with a mental illness with false beliefs & leaving reality which helped me stabilize my child and be functional threw therapy.

          3. Cloudy says:



        2. WhoCares says:


          That’s how I found my way to Narcsite; googling my partner’s paranoia and “persecution” beliefs.
          He believed that I (and everyone connected to me) was out to sabotage his life.

          1. Cloudy says:

            My partner has paranoia aswell

          2. WhoCares says:

            Cloudy – it was my ex’s paranoia and/or persecution beliefs that tipped me off that there was something seriously wrong with him – or more when his accusations settled on me as a target.
            In the beginning, it seemed mild and explainable – because he did kinda of stand out like a sore thumb in my culture, and so some of his concerns did seem reasonable and plausible…for a while.

            HG – is it common for NPD to have comorbidity with a persecution complex?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            all narcissist’s have varying degrees of paranoia

          4. WhoCares says:

            Yes. Thank-you. It definitely seemed pronounced in my narcissist.

  6. Cloudy says:


    Ive been reading most of your articles & are all well written

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for doing so.

      1. Cloudy says:

        Solid Mind

      2. Cloudy says:


        You welcome.

        I can use some extra knowledge.

        Its like sharpening a pencil to be more sharp.

  7. Desirée says:

    The Narchivist
    Thank you very much! Gosh you are so good at this

    1. K says:

      My pleasure Desirée!
      And thank you for your kind words. I was very impressed with your analysis of PH on the Nazi Uniform thread and that is why I remembered exactly where it was.

  8. njfilly says:

    NarcAngel and Lorelei:
    I post my response to your comments here as I don’t know where else to post them.

    NA: Why would you be offended at others ‘declaring the concept of God quite regularly and without invitation as fact”? I had you pegged as a hard ass who was not easily offended. I guess I am mistaken. Since when do people need an “invitation” to state their opinions and beliefs? People do that regularly as you just did regarding your disbelief. With regard to this blog the invitation is “vent your spleen”. When you believe in a “theory” you regard it as a fact. I understand the concept of God(s) is a theory, which I believe so therefore, I accept this theory as fact. Personally, I take no offence at your disbelief or other’s disbelief. I have no interest in trying to convince others of my personal beliefs.

    Lorelei: Your statement “I recognize the artistry in things that seem suspiciously unable to be an accident, ….” Is the beginning of a possible belief. Again, I have no interest in convincing you to believe.

    I understand your comments were not directed at me personally. I am not offended by either of your comments or your disbelief and I add my “two cents” only for the purpose of offering an alternative viewpoint. I do like debating topics and hearing other people’s viewpoints. Although many of my ex-boyfriends believed that I just like to argue! They were incorrect.

    Lastly, 6’1″ – 6’3″ is the perfect height for a man for me! (Rhyme intended).

    1. NarcAngel says:

      I am not easily offended but everyone can be. For instance I am not offended by your assertion that you find me a hardass even though I have no idea what your definition of that is. Yes, everyone has and does give their opinion on things. As you can imagine – I have taken my share of lumps for things I’ve advanced, and that’s fair, but just imagine now how it would go over if I randomly threw out lines like: Satan is misunderstood and we should show him empathy and follow his example, whereas it is offered up quite often that god is the answer to our suffering and stated as universal fact. It assumes that everyone accepts this or has not investigated it, when in fact you may have found god not accepting applications when you called on him as I did. I think the illusion created by religions leaves people ripe and open to abuse and illusion in other facets of their life. Such as narcissism.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Surely you ought to have asked “can I get a hallelujah? for this comment” NA?!

      2. Lorelei says:

        I think this discussion is fair. I’ll be really honest—I will never forget the first time I “asked” a god for help. I’ll never forget the next time I could have used it. If there is a god he can get fucked. Royally fucked.

      3. njfilly says:


        Everybody is entitled to their beliefs and opinions and to state them which doesn’t mean you will not be disagreed with or have your assertion debated. They are also free to make the erroneous assumption that it is recognized as universal fact. I assume if you put forth assertions about satan it would go over as well as the discussions about the existence of God, which I see here often.

        Personally, I don’t follow any particular “Religion” which are the institutions created by men to follow God, I simply believe in the existence of the creator God and other Gods. This belief I have makes me no more susceptible to abuse and illusion in my life than a belief in the misunderstood satan might. Although I did not recognize it as specifically “narcissistic abuse” like I do now, I was always aware of when I was being mistreated and abused and it was always unacceptable. Showing empathy toward satan might make a person more susceptible to narcissistic abuse as they might deem the behavior as ‘normal’.

        Praise the Lord and Hallelujah!

        1. NarcAngel says:

          My reply to Lorelei stating that my theory regarding illusion may cause offence but no more than mine at having god offered up demonstrates that I recognize there are two sides. The latter however is generally offered up as fact (for example: God is the only one who can judge, or God will have the last say etc). It is offered up with more regularity and with supposed authority than people espousing an alternative (satan was used as an example btw as I don’t believe in him either). A lot of people don’t agree with the religious interjection in a conversation but don’t respond because they feel it will put them in a bad light owing to the number of people who subscribe to religion, or start a conversation where they will be challenged to accept belief of god (“how do you think we all got here” for example). So they generally just don’t, as they realize the futility and hostility that can accompany an alternate view. Consequently – more often than not the god talk is ignored and can be viewed as accepted when it is not. I have had far more talk of god and his saving graces shoved on me than I have responded to or offered an alternative and in that sense it is censorship. I can’t tell you how many times I have read about god here and thought: well why did god put you in this position and why isn’t he helping you if he is all powerful as you offer up? But I don’t. Look what happened here for instance. I said Lorelei expressed her frustration in a very nice way and acknowledged there are two sides. That there could be offence both ways. And yet it spurred you to make comment to me that everyone has the right to express their view, (which seemed a defence of those who introduce god), when expressing my view was exactly what I was doing. Have you questioned anyone here on the blog about their statements or belief in god? If you have, I missed it.

          I think we are conditioned from a very young age to believe in fairy tales and romantic notions and that they help to form unhealthy ideals in some cases about what love is. It is fed to us in movies, books, song, and from those around us. We buy into it and point to those things as if they prove or form a standard of what love is or should be. I am expressing my opinion that religion in the same way could also be seen as conditioning us in the same light – to accept illusion and therefore open ourselves to abuse in the same way. That Prince Charming and God hold the same level of danger in my view where narcissistic abuse is concerned. I just offer my opinion up less often and with no authority from a higher power to assert it. I also accept others do not agree with me.

          1. Lorelei says:

            Shit I was typing a reply and lost it—or not and it will post as incomplete. Basically I stated the post was well articulated. I also don’t entertain agnosticism based on the wonder of beautiful things in the world—that view of creation is a question but not for a traditional god model based on the Bible. (My phone forced that capitalization)
            I can’t subscribe to a hell fearing being that would create people to be abused and then have the audacity to demand they run into his invisible arms and weep tears of redemption. Fuck that idiotic model of belief, for me anyway. When I was a very small child and being abused I recall specifically asking for some way out and only emptiness was found. I would be insane to “worship” a distributor of such emptiness, shame and sadness.

          2. njfilly says:

            Dear NarcAngel,

            Thank you for your interesting reply. First I want to say I am sorry for whatever happened to you that makes you feel that there is no God or that God was not there for you. I wont try to convince you to believe as I do as I already stated I had no interest in that. I was not upset at you or offended by anything you or Lorelei said.

            Secondly, your statement which begins “Look what happened here….” tells me you have misinterpreted my reason for commenting to you. Yes, I chose a portion of your comment to use to engage you in conversation, knowing that we disagreed. That was the point. I often engage with people who I know think differently than me because the conversations are often more interesting, spirited and mentally challenging. I’m always up for a challenge, whether I offer one or accept one. It gets rather boring for me to only interact with people who think and believe exactly as I do. My purpose for commenting to you was only for the experience. To hear how you would respond, what you had to say and what you believed, and then to respond to it. Not to convince you that I was right or that you should believe as I do, or watch what you say on the blog, although yes in the midst of our interaction I have to state my opinions, and yes, I had to choose something that stood out in your comment that we disagreed on.

            As far as people not wanting to comment because they don’t want to be challenged, or seen in a bad light, etc. I can only say, this does not apply to me. I am not required to anticipate the possible negative reactions people might have to any comments I might make prior to making them, and neither is anybody else. I have not challenged anybody’s statements about their belief in God because I agree with those statements so there is no challenge to be made. I would love to have a conversation about Satan and why he possibly had a falling out with God, and why he might be misunderstood because I believe in him too. Although my personal loyalty is to God, so I have no “sympathy for the devil”. I asked Mr. HG Tudor once if he believed Gods were empathic or narcissistic and he said narcissistic and I think he may be correct. They could not be narcissists as I assume they would have the full range of emotion and would not be devoid of any emotion a human would be able to feel (in my opinion) but this certainly explains their need to be worshipped.

            If you care to reply again I will let you have the last word on this.

          3. NarcAngel says:

            I neither misinterpreted or was offended by your comment. “Look what happened here…” was merely meant as example of a comment that lead to conversation about the right to opinion. It included different views on religious beliefs and was quite civil I thought, where that has not always been the case. More along the lines of: You can just imagine how it is when a person is NOT open to civil discussion…

            By not challenging others on their statements about god, I didn’t mean that you should. It was pointing to the fact that as you mentioned, we are all free to voice our opinion, but that that point it is usually raised when the comment made is against religion and not in favour of it. For the most part, when a statement like: “God will make the final judgement on your soul” is made, it’s less often challenged and there is less (or no) support for the side of opposition to it, or about their right to voice it, so it might be viewed as universally accepted when it may just be a case of people not wanting to get involved because they fear being viewed in a bad light, or just not wanting to expend the energy based on previous encounters. They just let it go and roll their eyes. But say something against religion and it will almost always elicit a response.

            I don’t believe in god or the devil, but I do believe in good and evil.

            Ironically (and I am a fan of irony), after this discussion (which again, I have no issue with), you end with: “I will let you have the last word on this”. Anyone referring to “letting” me do anything usually receives my wrath as I find that term and concept quite offensive. I choose what I do, and do not do,- no one “lets” me, but in this case I realize your intent, and having just cleared the air – it made me laugh at the irony.

            Nice chat.

          4. njfilly says:


            Then I withdraw my offer to allow you the last word which statement I made referring to my actions, in that I would not continue to debate whatever would be your last point made; and now I have refuted same.

            I agree, however, it was a nice chat. Also, I agree that it was civil.

          5. njfilly says:


            I forgot to mention one other thing that I want to clarify. I was not trying to debate with you about the existence of God, but rather the notion that anybody on this blog should ever be offended by other people stating their opinions and beliefs, although from what you say I assume that happens often.

            I am not easily offended. Possibly you couldn’t even offend me if you tried. Although once somebody did make a derogatory comment about beer which I thought was uncalled for.

      4. FYC says:

        NA, I respect and agree with your opinion and I do believe in God. I was not raised in any religion and never joined a church, but I have read the Bible cover to cover in my search for knowledge. I am not a big fan of organized religion, but if others find spiritual comfort there, I am happy for them. I have found over the years that few people have read the Bible, even fewer have the desire or initiative to seek to understand the text in whole or in context.

        My perception is most people want to put things in a box of their own creation. They then rigorously defend their position, not based upon study or testing of all concepts (as is recommended in numerous verses of the Bible), but on what they have been told to believe or believe out of convenience. Yet these same people feel free to pass judgement on others, here and elsewhere, to reinforce their perceptions/beliefs or to elevate themselves and exclude/diminish others. Little is gained by this behavior.

        As for your experience, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could have been there to protect you. I would have. I think the theological conundrum arises from God being all powerful, and all knowing, yet does not intervene in “evil” or “bad” or bad acts. I cannot reconcile this. I lack that level of understanding. My assumption is that we are human and imperfect (genetically, developmentally and otherwise) and we exercise free will and therein lies a minefield of trouble. If there were no free will we would be little more than robots. So I tend to blame human problems on humans versus God. I also perceive my own problems to be my own responsibility and not that of God or others.

        All I can say with certainty is that although you had a horrific experience and suffered much trauma, you certainly made a masterpiece with everything you were dealt. I might not make the same choices you do, but I would not change a thing about you (except to remove the trauma and all that entails). You are appreciated.

        As for narcissists, I understand what created the narcissist and have empathy for their experience. Had they not had GPD, abuse and LOCE they would not have had the gene expressed and they would not be narcissists (narcissism is coping/psychological defense). This is NOT to say that I excuse or condone bad behavior, I do not. Criminal and abusive behavior is deserving of serious consequences and people are always best served to steer clear of anyone who is abusive. This is why the education on KTN is so important.

        Lastly, I would say there is no evidence that Jesus was a narcissist. If he were, he certainly missed abundant opportunities to use the twin lines of defense and to manipulate and control. I do not judge Lorelei’s or others anger and frustration on either side of the equation, I just think that it is misplaced. We do not question things that go well, but we seek to find outlets for our pain. Human nature.

        Since I have been so wordy here, I am going to have to refrain from commenting for a few days out of respect for HG! Sorry for the long post.

      5. njfilly says:

        Further, my assertion that you are a hard ass is my belief based upon my definition of that term and the understanding I currently have as to your personality and is not based upon whether we share the same definition of the term or whether you are offended by my belief. Although I will state that I meant it in a more complimentary way in that you are not easily offended by a difference of opinion or belief, nor am I.

  9. surfinsybil says:

    Hi Dorion,

    Your statement reflects my feelings. A couple months ago I came up with this conclusion after reading HG’s work… and combining them with my own life experiences. You stated “If nothing else, very often narcs and empaths have experienced similar early life adversities, they just develop differently later on but do have a lot of the same unfulfilled needs in my opinion, just different coping strategies.”

    I do believe that. As HG suggested, there’s a genetic predisposition. Two years ago I learned about a gene mutation that I have that’s called the MTHFR mutation. While reading through the Facebook comments at one of the groups, I felt a kindred spirit with many of them. They thought and felt so much like I have. HG stated that he always knew that something was different about the way that he saw the world. Those of us with the MTHFR gene mutation always have too.

    Those with the mutation don’t methylate all the B vitamins as well as those without. Since B12 and B9 (folate) affect the nervous system and the brain, one’s mental processing, anxiety and coping abilities can be strongly affected. I believe that is why a supposed friend of mine who was quite a few years older than me was able to sexually abuse me from about 4-6 years old. I did not know how to handle the situation then.

    I understand now (thanks to HG’s work) that I developed narcissistic traits to deal with what had happened to me. Fortunately I had a caring and empathic mother who nurtured me and helped me further develop my empathic traits. The shame of the sexual abuse and my father’s alcoholism made me feel no control in my life. The narcissistic behavior gave me a false sense of control, but when I was in my teens, I began to realize (through my mother’s guidance) that such behavior went against the empathic heart that I have.

    When all this came together a couple months ago, I realized how close empaths and narcissists are. As you stated Dorion… the same unfulfilled needs but different coping strategies.

    I’m curious HG. Have you been tested for the MTHFR mutation? I’m compound heterozygous with 2 mutations.

    And thank you again HG. For the first time in my life I have the insight to truly have control in my life. The methly B vitamins and HG’s knowledge give me the ability to recognize and handle the narcissists that I have attracted to me for a lifetime.

    Sending love and fuel to you HG… and a big hug for you Dorion and the rest of y’all. Glad to be on this journey with y’all!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

      No, I have not been tested for the mutations although I am a close friend of Professor X.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      I kept reading MTHFR as the motherfucker gene mutation, and then you asked HG if he had been tested for it. Thanks for my first laugh of the day however unintentional.

      1. Violetta says:


        “I kept reading MTHFR as the motherfucker gene”

        I had the same thought!

    3. njfilly says:


      What are the coping strategies of the empath?

  10. njfilly says:


    Interesting comment. Thank you for sharing.

    I try to lead a disciplined life in general. If I see something becoming a problem for me, I take steps to counter-act it.

    I am somewhat of a minimalist. If I see I am starting to acquire too many possessions, I will give them away just to clear out my house. If I start to get a sentimental attachment to something, I will give it to a person in my life who I care about, in order to break the attachment to that item and give a piece of myself to another person; such as a niece, nephew, or some young girls who are my former riding students.

    I went for a period of time with almost no furniture in my house, other than what was absolutely necessary. I like my rooms and home to be open, clean and clutter free. I have no nick-knacks, pictures on my walls, or even curtains on my windows. I am sometimes extreme in what I do.

    I am very organized and I have no junk drawers, unorganized drawers or closets in my home. There is not one un-filed piece of paper in my office. I don’t like to have excess anything; including food in my cabinets, unused blankets or towels, etc. I even have empty shelves in the cabinets and closets in my home.

    Back in early 2016 I decided I wanted to stop eating. I don’t have an eating disorder, I just felt that eating was an annoying time consuming chore and I didn’t want to do it anymore, but of course I must eat to live. So I would go for days without eating and only drinking water. I found I could go for 3-4 days before I would have to eat something. I would eat only a minimal amount to avoid starving then start the fast all over again. I work out regularly as well as I was also a personal fitness trainer in my thirties. That lasted for a couple years. Now I regularly go for 1-2 days without eating or I eat only a small amount, for example 1 or 2 hard boiled eggs, and that’s all I will eat for the entire day, other than drinking water and sometimes I will supplement a protein shake for the day as well.

    All this being said I did smoke marijuana on a daily basis for about 25 years and I quit only a couple years ago. I still smoke intermittently now.

    There is really no point to my comment other than your comment made me think about some of my own behaviors which I sometimes take to extreme levels, as well as my own addictive behaviors.

  11. K says:

    It would be intriguing to learn more about your favorite books and what’s next on your book list. Roald Dahl was a superlative writer and his stories are fantastic.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I may just do that in future disclosures, K.

      1. K says:

        Thank you for considering it and, if you choose to do so, please consider sharing what you enjoyed reading (or didn’t enjoy) as a child, as well. Readers are rarer than empaths in my world.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I read a huge amount of material as a child, a voracious appetite. More to come.

          1. K says:

            Thank you HG!
            Looking forward to it. I had a feeling that you read quite a bit as a child.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Extensively, K.

          3. njfilly says:

            I read another comment you made, I think in an article from 2015, where you mentioned you eat everything and you have a voracious appetite.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I do. For fuel.

  12. Desirée says:


    I bet bergamot would mix nicely with violet leaves

  13. Violetta says:

    Dorion: we absolutely do have chemical predispositions to certain things. Giving up cigarettes, drinking, and weed, all of which I indulged in fairly heavily during Jr
    High, wasn’t too difficult.

    Giving up coffee was hell.

  14. Violetta says:

    They are ways of indicating who we are, just as handwriting was to the Victorians. When Colette wanted to show how decadent one character was, she had her wear a heavy, cloying scent, while a less jaded character wore a refreshing lemony scent.

  15. evilmuskhat says:

    Would love to but can’t afford it. I am on a very tight budget and have a family to support.

  16. Chihuahuamum says:

    Its interesting reading all the opinions on fashion and fragrances. Much to learn! 🙂

  17. evilmuskhat says:

    Would certainly like to know you better. You are a very interesting character to me.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You have the option to do so using the button attached this article EMH.

  18. Dorion says:

    “As they say, a sober alcoholic is still an alcoholic.

    Extricating the narcissist from your life is like getting sober, it is a very powerful step but the addiction or inclination does not necessarily become eradicated with that step”

    I completely agree. I have not been addicted to narcs but had a pretty nasty alcohol problem in the past. Very clearly it was the classic case: an interplay between (likely inborn) predisposition and own environment/experience. I have never had problems with narcissists except some relatively minor annoyances that were easy to resolve, but easily understand the Empaths and the topic of this blog, in part, due to my own addiction experience. It’s definitely a life sentence in the sense that fortunately I could get and stay sober, but no way I can touch the stuff again, ever. Broken switch for life. I have no doubts that picking up would quickly reinstate the whole nightmare and who knows whether I would survive it a second time. A few people are able to get back to moderation and a normal relationship with their drug of choice, but it is the absolute minority. A very stupid risk to take, in my opinion… but of course relapses don’t operate by reason. I consider myself lucky with recovery in part because, in spite of the predisposition and addiction, my nature and baseline personality is very strongly dominated by logic, reason, and positive goal-oriented drives. But as soon as I touch my drug of choice, all that goes out of the window. I can still analyze and understand the beast while tied to it pretty well, but it will destroy me in the process.

    I also agree with the comment about this blog and HG’s allure. I have been very conscious about this from the first moment I decided to post on this blog and remain that way. Enjoy it, use it in ways that are constructive, entertaining, and enrich my days, but that’s about it. I have had issues with getting hooked on online forums before and the excess definitely didn’t serve me well. It wasn’t as bad as the alcohol of course, but still not productive… Not again. It is hard sometimes to resist buying all the intriguing products offered here, but I do, because I personally don’t need them for anything practical in my life, it would just be curiosity… so I stick with the free, public stuff (and some books) to satisfy that. I imagine it can be trickier (emotionally) for those who have a history of problems with narcs and want to use HG’s work in depth and proactively, but without the challenge of getting hooked too much. But the challenge is part of the package I guess… maybe we could call it ‘harm reduction’ (borrowing the term from addiction treatment strategies). I experienced similar around my own addiction recovery methods in the past, many times and in many ways, but I really needed them back then as an alternative and to learn. I think the challenge can be a good exercise in developing/recovering healthy limits and boundaries.

    1. Emma says:

      Thank you for sharing your story. I used to know someone who was with the AA. I remember he decided to move town when a brewery opened close to where he lived.

      I don’t drink or smoke and have never had to deal with a substance addiction so I can’t speak from personal experience but I feel there is more to an addiction then the presence of a predisposition or an inclination. And also It is good to make a distinction between addiction as a term we use in common speech and addition as a pathological condition like alcoholism and drug addiction. Addiction as a pathological condition can only be diagnosed by a professional therapist or a physician.

      I feel a strong gravity force at work regarding a very particular type of narcissist but I would not say I am addicted to narcissists. When HG speaks about the empaths addiction to the narcissist, since he is not a therapist or physician, the term is common speech, and it is not a diagnosis of a pathological condition, as some seem to believe here. I think it is good to keep in mind that HG’s assessment regarding empaths is not a diagnosis. Which does not mean that his views cannot be helpful, they can and they are.

      I agree that there is a close kinship between empaths and narcissists, that kinship is the reason I still love the narcissist I was involved with, the reason I can see through his façade and see his biggest secret: his vulnerability. I think he fears me because of that. I sometimes think that love without emotional neediness – as my love for him has crystallized into – may be the ultimate narc repellent. It is ironic since the narcissist wants to be loved but he cannot accept love unless he is able to control and manipulate the person through their confusion, past wounds and emotional needs.

  19. Desirée says:

    On a daily basis I usually pick block heels with a lot of profile as they are quite comfortable or opt for flats instead, stiletto heels are mostly for evening wear or for occasions where I wont have to walk around (lunch etc.). Uggs have a very short shelf-life for their price point. I know they made the new ones water resistant but thats not going to save them from loosing their shape and wrinkling. I prefer the Joan of Arctic boots from Sorel, I keep reading reviews of people wearing Sorel boots who have had them for almost 20 years and they still look and feel great (and they’re waterproof).

  20. Lorelei says:

    Desiree—don’t those heels suck on a daily basis? I have to cringe to wear anything over 3”.. I don’t really prefer heels. They just happen to look good with some clothes. I’m happy today for new Ugg Koolaburro boots with bows.

  21. Dorion says:

    Thanks, Desiree. You summary sounds like a very good one as per HG’s system and insights.

  22. Desirée says:

    “Even a prison cell has a window”

    HG treats his minions humanely

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ah but for them Desiree, it is a window to their soul.

  23. Lorelei says:

    I would divulge but I can’t do so. It’s a secret of substantial magnitude. I have a unisex product I adore. Look up Ambre blends. Try the roller ball sample—purple and brown to die for. I just checked my purse and I have Ambre Essence. Delicious. I have their soap and lotion as well. I’m on a no shopping kick until March 21st so I’m buying nothing. It started January 1st but I’ve failed each day so I start over today. I’m good now. I can do this.

  24. Violetta says:

    Desirée: ooh, bergamot.

  25. Desirée says:

    “it has a layer of violet leaves”


    I think you could have a point about WP messing with these blog comments. It’s either that or they’re beyond incompetent and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

  26. Desirée says:

    “For men I have a favourite but I won’t divulge”

    Tell us all your secrets, Lorelei. I don’t have a strong preference but I do like Bergamote on men and Le Labo recently came out with a fragrance that smells like Petrichor, I suppose layering those two would be the next undertaking, just to see what happens.

    Most of my fragrances are unisex as this is the way they where designed originally, it later got divided into male and female scents for the purposes of market fragmentation. On that note, you also don’t need a day and a night cream, they do the excact same thing but you didn’t hear that from me.

    I could spread my newly discovered love for a certain blend around, but what if things don’t work out with the guy and then I can never enjoy that Tonka Sandalwood potion in peace again without smelling the stench of memories?

  27. Desirée says:

    I found your comment and I will scroll to the ends of the blog if I must, witnessing WP’s failures only strengthens my resolve.
    True, the heels probably do a better job at announcing me than even that intoxicating Tonka-Sandalwood-Blend ever could, but anytime I look at mid-height heels, I am just not impressed and I am so used to either flats or 5 inch by now that I don’t bother with anything else anymore.
    Playa is the name of a clean haircare line that recommends itself by way of it’s fantastic scent

    Looking up the homepage, I also now realized that it’s basenotes are Tonka and Sandalwood. Clearly I have a “type”. I also hadn’t considered spelling it as “Player”, my mind went to the pretentious “Plah-yah” that was most likely intended. I only play with my hair these days haha

    Thanks to you I now have “Big Daddy Cologne” in my search history and couldn’t even find anything. But your planned Creed experiment sounds fun. Would you then go through the fragrances and decide which one you think most resembles his characteristics or which one you think he actually smells the most like? If you go by characteristics, I’d say something clean, cool and crisp like Silver Mountain Water or Himalaya, I would have to smell them again to decide.

    Glad you found a new trench you like! My favourite Leather Jacket by far is from Ralph Lauren as well as a wool coat, they have some excellent high-quality outerwear. I was in their flagship stores last time I was in NY and was pleasantly surprised how comparatively “bohemian” some of their dress designs still are, I sometimes forget how counterculture they were for a while.

  28. Desirée says:

    Sweet Pea
    You are not alone, I have switched accounts because I didn’t get notifications but it never changed anything. At least as of a few days ago I now get notifications if someone liked my posts so that helps me keep track of things. Dont give up Sweet Pea! We can work through this! I will always find you, a.k.a. your posts to me!

    1. Lorelei says:

      I messaged word press support and most of my questions were answered at no cost. I can have a chat with them at low cost if I choose but my functionality is mostly sufficient— so I’ll get to it when it’s low on the list time.

  29. Desirée says:

    Re: Why would a self aware narcissist date another self aware narcissist

    I assume that means why would a Greater choose another Greater as their IPPS (spouse)

    -Fuel and Control

    -To draw from the expansive fuel matrix of the other

    -To make use of the plentiful resources of the other

    -for Power through political gain as is the case with the Clintons and the Obamas

    Three things to keep in mind:

    1.)They can have plenty of IPPS to draw from

    2.) Greaters like Magnets because they do the work for them (drawing people in) and another Greater would serve a similar function

    3.) Due to the narcissistic perspective, each of them perceives the other Greater as their property and therefore under their control

  30. Violetta says:

    SP: ” I also wished you good luck in Anglo Saxon” Haven’t found it yet. MM’s gremlins?

  31. Dorion says:

    “Why would a self aware narcissist date another self aware narcissist?”

    Some speculations, HG can elaborate and/or correct if he wants.

    I can imagine also for some of the same reasons many people like others that are similar? Just like how you empaths here enjoy interacting and forming relationships with others with similar strengths and challenges.

    I am not sure about narcs, but I have always had a very strong tendency to seek others with similar personality, thinking style, interests etc. Especially similar cognitive style, it is like a strong magnet for me. There is a concept called Self Psychology about the development of the Self and it’s based on narcissistic needs, how they can be fulfilled and what happens if they are not fulfilled (especially early in life). A relevant part is what the author calls “Alter ego/twinship needs”, can read a bit in this link but there is a large body of literature about it.

    I love like Heinz Kohut’s Self Psychology because it works with narcissistic needs but takes the dark, abuse part out of it and explains how these things are natural but can go right or wrong for someone. I don’t have NPD but relate to that Twinship idea extremely strongly, consciously need to force myself not to go in that direction, because that’s my natural drive and it’s been in most of my life. As an adult, awareness is a huge part of it – I really love to form relationships with people who are similarly introspective and self-aware (and interested in developing in that sense), it can be super attractive.

    Narcs seem to like opposites as far as empathy goes but I don’t think it is truly “opposites attract” – there are also many similarities between those narc-empath pairings as it is sometimes discussed on this blog as well. If nothing else, very often narcs and empaths have experienced similar early life adversities, they just develop differently later on but do have a lot of the same unfulfilled needs in my opinion, just different coping strategies.

    Maybe narcs together on the same level may also get a kick out of competition?

  32. Violetta says:

    Sweetest Perfection:

    Oh, Sweet Pea, c’mon and dance with me….


    She’s just a Sweet Perfection
    (Sweet Perfectionnnnn)
    From Tudorista
    Tudor Empire–huh-huh!

  33. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    Desiree: I think your 5 inch heels are the perfume: Believe me. I would face a lot of trouble from men, if I were to walk around in NYC in 5 inch heels all the time, hahaha. I am too shy for all that, in this town. Anyway, I just bought a RRL, Ralph Ralph Lauren trench. Thanks for asking. Playa is a funny name, for a scent, yes? but I will keep it in mind. thanks. lol. I would not want to say, I am wearing Playa, in NYC: I would probably just call it something else, if anyone were to ask me. A playa is a man known to toy with many women, in slang over here. I am sure it smells good, since you are the recommender, though. I may have heard of it, but I am not sure…. I actually want to pick out a Creed scent that reminds me of the HG that lives in my mind, through a blind scent test, with the salesperson, and without any persuasion from the salesperson, and then just tell HG which Creed scent reminded me of him, in my mind, the HG Tudor that is in my mind, for the fun of it. That is my plan. That is all. I am not looking to buy it. ( do not warn the salesperson that I have no plan to purchase). It may turn out to be Aventis or Viking, but it could be something else, entirely. Who knows? I really need to do this investigation, with Creed, but I am bogged down these days, trying to climb completely out of my 3 plus year stay in Narcville. When I was testing the women`s hair perfumes, I was curious and smelled Tom Ford`s, I think it was, scent named: Leather. It was unbelievable. It smelled exactly like leather. hahaha. I have no idea how they could do that–capture that scent. One could actually spray that on their leather goods, shoes, wallet, belt, purse, whatever, and the goods would smell like million dollar leather. Or in ones car, if one had leather upholstery. lol, I think it is too much for a male to wear though, as a cologne, as it it meant to be worn. But, what do I know. Unless he used a truly minuscule amount along with his regular cologne. Big Daddy. Very interesting. Hahaha. Desiree, I do not know if you will see this. This feed is very long, at this point. And I better stop, right now.

  34. Lorelei says:

    I don’t like Creed’s scent for women. I wear flower bomb typically or la vie est belle. Lovestory by Chloe is a nice one too. For men I have a favorite but I won’t divulge.

  35. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Desirée, you can call me Sweet Pea, NA does too and I love it. It’s insane, I don’t get any notifications anymore, I am not asked to subscribe to anything like in the good old days… I’m just letting myself go and die in the blog for now…

  36. Violetta says:

    Desirée: I read the description of Viking both here and on Fragrantica, but it won’t have any resonance for me until I’ve actually smelled it. Of course, it wouldn’t smell exactly as it does on HG with anybody else. (Traded perfumes with a friend once, and the results were dreadful for both of us.)

    I’d like to smell Creed’s Green Irish Tweed. I usually like green fragrances, and it has a layer of violet leaves (!)

  37. Violetta says:

    “WordPress won’t post comments under its original thread”
    Social Media platforms may be under directions from the MegMinions to gaslight HG.

    They will fail. This is like sending a plague of mosquitoes against a nuclear reactor.

    (Unless this is just another standard tech fuck-up. These days, it’s getting hard to tell the difference.)

  38. Desirée says:


    That Le Labo Tonka + Sandalwood combination is human catnip, I love it so much.

    It also reminds me of a Californian Shampoo brand called Playa that makes fantastic products and smells incredible. They even have a scented candle that incorporates their fragrance so clearly they know their audience.

    Have you decided on a coat yet? While I do have a long Ralph Lauren wool coat that I like, I generally prefer shorter ones or leather jackets if the weather allows.

    It’s interesting that you say people think you’re even taller because I am 5’4 and some dont believe me until they stand right next to me for comparison. I don’t really get where that comes from although to be fair I only wear 5 inch heels exclusively since I don’t like lower ones, so it’s kind of understandable. While I love the shoes, 5’9 is way too high up for my liking. Can’t look down, I’ll get dizzy!

    I did leave a comment elsewhere about the notes of Viking, if you haven’t read that maybe I could get the Narchivist on that task. I stated that it smells like a Fougère to me and I still think it is but with lots of spice and more complexity.

    1. K says:

      Here it is! And, your assessment re: PH is on the Nazi Uniform Thread.

      Desirée says:
      July 23, 2019 at 09:33
      Re: what kind of Empath is Harry
      I’d go with Standard Empath, strong Co-Dependent Minority Element
      of the Magnet Cadre, strong Saviour Minority Element

      Desirée says:
      January 1, 2020 at 17:13
      HG currently wears Viking by Creed, which smells like a Fougère to me. It has a mint and bergamot opening, lavendel absolue and vetiver and the dry down is patchouli I think. It’s a really masculine and aromatic fragrance overall, I think it has slightly more complexity than Aventus which he said he wore previously in this article:
      Aventus is very popular and it amused me that the male version opens with pineapple because when HG was asked in a livestream what his favourite cocktail was he said it was Piña Colada.

      1. Violetta says:

        K: the words don’t do it for me where scent is concerned, if I’ve never smelled it. There are a number of scents that I tried, liking several of the notes, and they smelled nothing like I had imagined. I might still like them; but when the notes combine, it’s like a different music arrangement of the same tune. (There’s an article out there about an initial, laid-back arrangement of the Beatles’ “Helter Skelter”–miles away from the shrieking proto-metal masterpiece it became.)

        I’ll see if any of the local high-end dept. stores have a Creed counter, although again, it won’t smell on me or one of the sample cards exactly the way it would on HG or anyone else.

        1. K says:

          I agree; it’s very difficult to describe scent and it’s best to experience it in person. If I find myself in a high-end store, I will make my way over to the Creed counter and check it out.

  39. Desirée says:


    It’s because Chablis and Champagne are regions in France, the original point was just about the analogy to alcohol addiction. All good, the fact that WordPress won’t post comments under its original thread is just kind of confusing right now

    1. njfilly says:

      Thank you for your explanation, Desiree.

  40. Renarde says:


    Get over yourself. No author has to do anything for free.

    That’s not how this shit works!

  41. Renarde says:


    You are really quite strange…

  42. Renarde says:

    I’m still up on Twitter. I’m going to tweet this one now

  43. Desirée says:


    No worries, I think the comment this was supposed to correct is still in moderation. I just noticed I wrote french Chablis, which is kind of like writing french Champagne.

    1. njfilly says:

      I don’t understand this comment either. I know nothing about wine or champagne so your wit is lost on me.

  44. Violetta says:

    Nerdcissus: You won’t be able to fight your way through a solid wall of lovesick Tudoristas.

    The Tude abides.

    1. njfilly says:

      It tries desperately to get Mr. Tudor’s attention I see.

    2. Desirée says:

      The sun never sets in The Tudor Empire.

  45. Desirée says:


    the word french is superfluous in this case isn’t it…but I can already tell this comment didn’t make it under the thread it was supposed to go

    1. njfilly says:

      I’m sorry, Desiree, I see your comment but I don’t understand. I don’t really remember what I said either. I’m doing too many things at once again I see.

  46. Desirée says:


    who knows if this will land under your post as it should, but let’s roll the dice.

    While it does not explicitly state that you are born with an addiction to narcissism, it goes into the evolutional reasons for it’s existence and also points out that exposure to a narcissist in early years is not necessary in order to have this addiction. I think the logical conclusion to draw from this would be that an Empath can be born with this addiction due to genetical predispositions and while a narcissistic parent might not have been present to trigger it early on, it might lie dormant within them until they’re exposed to a narcissist for the first time.

    A Domaine Christian Moreau is a highly sought after french Chablis (wine), a joke in reference to the alcohol addict analogy.

  47. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    Thank you, Desiree. I did see the Barbour coats, and I read about their production and their history, but not in a long length and style that I need for now. I am five feet seven inches in bare feet, but I seem to do better in longer lengths even though I rarely wear a heel over 3 inches. I come off as taller than I am, for some reason. I have to go for the very basics first, while I am rebuilding after leaving Narcville. And I do not want anyone`s polyester at his point, no matter the brand name: I have dug in.

    re: Perfect Scents: And I did find an actual hair perfume that I can test. No one had the Karetess one, that I could test, that you told me about. The scent name of the one that I found is Limon. I loved it! And I forgot the name of the Brand, but I will tell you when I revisit the store. I am sure you will know the brand, but I just can not remember it, right now. It is $40 per small bottle, for this hair perfume. I plan to purchase it probably next month or so. The sales guy kept showing me all the others, and could not believe that I liked the Limon one, by this brand, the very best, as he kept showing me the most popular ones, by this brand. loI. Although it is called Limon, it is not overly lemony, like the name suggests. It is very pleasant. And, I can not wear the heavy scents in perfume, even hair perfume probably, very well, anyway.

    But, I do want to look into Oud. I went to Sephora and it so happens that the few body perfumes they carry that contain Oud were all sold out: So tiring. So, that investigation died that day. I have to widen the geography of my investigations. I am not into shopping, but shopping is necessary at times, and I am in that time. I have of yet to go to the Creed store, but I had a lengthy conversation with the salesman about Creed, since he told me he wears the brand, although the store does not carry the brand. He was definitely a Devotee of Creed. His eyes lit up and he became animated and started talking with his hands and everything, as he discussed the brand with me. lol. Too bad he was not wearing any, especially Viking, or I may have subtly leaned in a bit. Hahaha. I am so glad that you found a combo that you like, Desiree!

  48. Desirée says:

    don’t you mean his neck, narcissa

  49. Desirée says:

    Case in point, I guess

  50. Violetta says:

    This is why we LURVE you.
    Well, one of the reasons.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

A Very Royal Narcissist – Trailer

Next article

Knowing HG – Part 2