Quiz : The Hoover
How well do you understand The Hoover? Are you full of Logic and a Cement Shoe Empath or are you still learning and need to grab that Lampost of Logic to avoid being sucked by in by the narcissists hoovering?
Take this quiz and find out how good your knowledge is, about the hoover.
321 thoughts on “Quiz : The Hoover”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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65/100
I’m not happy.
85! 😇 I love these!
SMH,
Crud, no reply button on your last comment…yes, totally agree — that sick feeling is a warning signal. I find it never fails me, so I always heed it now. As for his “never say quit” motto, he was like that in the FR, but this is much more twisted, for obvious reasons. Sending me a card is probably not a good sign, in terms of him abandoning ship right now. Then again, I don’t really know, because I never read it. (Damn! Screwed again.😂) He totally has to win though, in everything…and he absolutely loves challenge…he’s like a Greater in that particular way. It kind of sucks, because I think it’s the challenging part of me that made him keep on this. I was like that on Day 1 with him, as it’s just part of my personality to put guys through the paces, and I walk away in sudden ways too…it’s the only area in my life where I’m not instantly giving. I’ve always been rather leery/skeptical/”What bull are you saying to me now?”, on the male front — takes a long time for me to trust, in this area. Now I sound like a narc. I will refrain from asking HG if I am one.🤭
Hi CIF, Sorry I have been away for awhile – I was travelling around the northeast.
I don’t think it’s the challenging part of you that keeps Nex coming back. He’d do it anyway and regardless. I think of it like cat and mouse. Until the mouse is dead, it is fair game! I hope nothing else has happened but do fill us in if you can/feel like it.
Everything is fine on my end, including with Odin. Just headaches with work and nutty former landlady. She thinks I am her “friend” and vomits emotional and financial stuff over me – torrents of words. I let her do it until I got my deposit back. Then I shut her out. I am somehow a magnet for women (and maybe men) like this. As with you, I believe they think I am ‘nice’ and maybe passive, so they push me to my limits, I turn and walk away, and then they get angry because they’ve exposed themselves to me. But I do not ask for it. It just happens. xo
Kim,
Thanks, sweetie. Empaths are proud of me…nothing better than that! 🤍
SMH,
Thanks for your last reply, which I can’t find now🥴 Yes, seeing him in this way is very eye-opening. If people only knew…he presents so differently to other people mask firmly on (career/social life, etc). Not gonna lie – it’s pretty creepy to me now, as he’s always been this calm, cool, intelligent handsome guy who seemed very well contained, and now that I can see all this WEIRD STUFF, it really registers (the pathology) — deeply. Now I just keep an eye out, but stay solid, like I do feel within (except when he’s lurked around and for awhile after).
I’m doing well otherwise – love life good/work good/and swimming a lot again. 🧜♀️
CIF, Yep. When it finally hit me that MRN had a mental disability/defect, it was quite liberating. But I would also ask myself how I could have been involved with him and NOT seen it or why I made excuses for it. I know ET is at fault, but this is one reason I am still on the fence about Odin – if it takes us so long to realize the pathologies in people with whom we are already involved, how are we supposed to gauge them in people we barely know? I know I can submit him to a NDT but I don’t think I know him well enough yet and once I do, it might be too late. Scary! Anyway, soon I will be swimming too – can’t wait! But today I am not even leaving the apartment since it is hot as blazes out, as Kim e would say. Smooches!
SMH💙,
I think you probably know more than you think about Odin, from keen observation skills, so maybe think about the test, if you are up for it. My nex’s condition is behind obvious to me now, but when I had the 3-year FR with him, I was at college and only home on weekends, so I really did miss a lot of his/the daily stuff…but he absolutely did stuff that registered to me at a gut level as “off,” but being he was my “first” and that I was half “too busy to deeply reflect” + truly, always juggling more than I should at all times, and I think I would get distracted and just move off my worries about him too easily…at least, that’s what my nex said (re: I was too busy/distracted a lot) and hey — maybe he got one thing right. Lol. When I’m not so stalked, I’ll share a few funny (calculated) things he did to try to make me jealous/get my attention, as he was a real maniac in that way then…but it is also made me laugh. Still does…well, until it hits me (again) how he hurt people doing those things, because he was awful.
Yeah, it’s the worst kind of heat where I am too. XOXO💙
CIF, Yeah, I probably do know more about Odin than I think I do. I’ll consider it.
I am far from being a college student and MRN still completely blind sided me. Not sure it would have been any different for you, but at least now you know!! How many years has it been? Not trying to identify your age – rather, am curious as to how many years might pass with the hoovers still coming. My last was in May, the two year mark. I look forward to the things you will tell us when you feel that you can.
Back to the heat (actually on the sofa letting the a/c wash over me).
xoxo
SMH,💙
It has shocked me to realize he has possibly not stopped hoovering me (just intervals) since I split/dumped him/left/escaped. <saying all that makes me feel empowered, lol. By that, I mean that now I am not sure that several years went by when he did NOT hoover in some way. It took me going back with a journal and writing down all that I can recall has transpired with him. This includes emails…voice messages…letters…asking about me & where I was/talking to other people about me who then talked to me, etc. Even when I *thought* there was a gap of several years, it seems possibly not – there was always something, however small or insignificant (to me). And this is without my possible knowledge that he spied on me in person — and I maybe had no idea. I've never had an online presence, nor participated in other people's online stuff (for reasons), so that is the only area I feel good about — that he did not gain knowledge that way. I moved more than a few times, and there are periods where I can't recall him popping up, but I cannot be sure. Right after I escaped, I felt there were 3-4 years, but then I recalled little things. I know he called me 3 days after he got married to say he missed me, and I remember thinking: "Oh gawd…WTH is wrong with you?!" I believe that was a tipping point for me…because I got that extremely sick feeling in my stomach and felt numb tingling all over my body — that gut/physical check that tells you: "We have a problem here…Houston."😳
I almost feel like I'm an ongoing side hobby for him. More than anything, I get that he thinks he owns me. That is the most disturbing part…in addition to his preoccupation with whether I am "with" someone or not.
CIF,
Ns don’t like to lose – just watch the way Trump manoeuvrers and creates chaos to divert attention whenever he feels that he is. It might well be until death do you part, at least in his mind! I hope Trump gets covid and dies because if he does not, we will have to ‘live’ with him in one way or another for the rest of his damned life
Anyway, it won’t matter what you do – Nex is the true meaning of ‘won’t take no for an answer.’ I just hope he doesn’t go any further than he has.
Isn’t it funny how when we are with them we feel like ‘side hobbies’ but as soon as we leave, we suddenly matter? At least that’s the way it felt with MRN. Completely ass backwards.
That sick feeling is healthy xoxo
SMH & Kim,
Gotta say…I am pretty proud of myself. I got an (obvious) card in the mail yesterday, from my nex. This harkens back to the days I was with him, and it was SO hard for me not to open/read it…there could be very important clues in there! It could help me protect myself! I’d get key info!
No, it wouldn’t do any of those things. It was going to be “romantic” drivel. I shredded it, after four tortuous hours debating myself. Logic won. Even though I’m a cartwheeling (🤸♀️) free spirit, I’m also extremely disciplined, which has helped me SO much, dealing with this maniac.
#NotTodaySatan…🙂
CIF, Or should it be NTS? 🙂 excellent work! I knew you were disciplined but apart from that, you don’t seem to have ‘the feels’ for Nex anymore either, so indeed what’s the point? I gotta just say that he is a creep and delusional. Smooches!
CIF
GREAT JOB!!!!!! I toast you for a job well done.
Keep up the good work. Steady yourself for more to come. Next time you will not have to think about it so long. Your ET is waking up. Put it back to sleep.
Come here and rant to me and SMH any time.
Smooches, hugs and whatever else you need!!!!!!!!!
SMH,💙
This is the craziest thread for me, as sometimes the comments are here – sometimes not (like my nex). Now I can’t find your last reply to me, but I did read it…and will be careful/consult HG if needed, yes…and I just send you thanks for your care & much love back.😘
P.S. All’s fine/quiet right NOW, on the nex front…I appreciate every single (solitary) day it is.
Kim,
Other than my nex, life has been good…I have no idea what my nex will do…but I’m very much understanding that he’s stuck. It’s not a compliment – it is a shit show. Yes, this may very well get to the point of going to HG, if this keeps ramping up. That would be hard for me, as I am a very private person, and I need to bond with someone to open up…but he’s the best one, if this does not stop.
This is killing my spirit. I am feeling so unbelievably cold toward my nex, as any good memories I had have been obliterated. I just want him to leave me alone. I’m beyond sick of this…it’s like he feels tied to me and cannot stop…I heard way too much from my friend, and it was overwhelming.
CIF,
It appears he is obsessed with you. I truly believe you need to consult with HG as unfortunetly he is not going to go away. Dont wait for it to ramp up. Find out what are the things you need to do before it gets to the ramped up stage.
I am truly sorry about this. Guess it just goes to show that they are NEVER done with us.
Hugs and smooches. Please feel free to get in touch anytime needed.
CIF
Other than the exn causing hell how have you been? I was so hoping that since you had not been here things with the staring and such had worked themselves out and peace was restored.
Plesae be careful and do not hesitate to contact HG. You can keep in touch with me and SMH also so we are in the loop but if you really need to plese do not hesitate to contat HG. This is probably something you cant resolve on your own.
Smooches
Thanks, Kim…I will, if it keeps up.💜