Quiz : What is the Interaction?
Stand back from the chocolate egg and be an Egg Head instead!
Sharpen your Tudor Craft and see if you can ascertain what is the interaction in the following 20 scenarios.
Need some help? Sensible move. Use these.
The 3 Interactions with the Narcissist
Is it a Manipulation?
Is it Planning?
Finally Understanding Wounding
How To Stop the Hoovers
How weaponised are you? Find out with this fascinating detector which is 50% off but hurry, it ends today! Obtain here
104 thoughts on “Quiz : What is the Interaction?”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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45/100
Embarrassment.
This is the most important thing in my situation.
65. Not my worst, not my best, more to learn.
HG,
Do you think an empath-empath or empath-normal couple could end up with a narc child?
What about a narcissistic child?
Thank you
Yes, but it is less likely.
50% wow i thought a bit higher than that.
Question 19. If the narc knew about HG tudors books him being a midranger would look into them out of a controlling curiousity and long ago inquire about them maybe being tipped off 😄
defectum ego sum
30
80 first try whoop never scored this high lol !
#FuelOnTheRun 😂
Wtg soldierofluv!!
Chihuahuamum 🤗😁
55… wtf. I don’t think so.
50
That was by far the most difficult quiz I’ve taken on here to date.
A shockingly poor score. I shall hang my head accordingly.
Same, I thought I aced this one. 🤔
Shoot. I only got 55. 😬
65 first try- going to go retake with the ones I had two answers to ,and use the other answers and see then
What?! Only 50 the second time 😆 fuck me, man.
Ok one more go!
60 I give up lol
Although HG I want to say these quizzes are so much fun and the answers are super education boosts I’ve really benefited from . Really helped me understand , esp in regards to schools (my fave topic)
After reading Mouth – quiz 2 answers once , I upped my score to 70 LOL
Knock on effect these quizzes
Ok purchased – now I have follow up questions but can’t post due to spoilers
I will ask though where u can find info on
Instinctive Planned Manipulation ive somehow missed it
Is it Planning
I got 65 too Woke. I honestly don’t think I can absorb any more of their ridiculous behavior. I just know I hit a milestone on it looking at my ex. He’s a walking talking blow up doll. I couldn’t help it but stare a few days ago when he came to get the kids and I’m telling you—the sting is gone. Like I felt like I was in a zoo watching a monkey pick bugs or some such rudimentary behavior off a monkey friend. I think I’ll have him over for coffee and just watch in silence as he scratches his axillary region. What was the quiz about? I forgot.
Ah HG those 80 felt good.
.
😢 All that reading and such a poor score.🙄
Consider it a work in progress rather than defeat.
I do love these quizzes! They really get me thinking! I’m learning so much under your “Tudorlage”! Thank you!
Pleasure
I let my no contact regime slip and I’ve been in contact with the narcissist for about a week now. I know. I’m an idiot. His mother died early this weekend. We had a text exchange later that day. I had no idea about his mother at that point and he never mentioned anything. I eventually found out from another source. Why would he do this? I need the harsh truth so I can wake up already!! Mr. Tudor, please answer my question, if you would not mind. Thank you.
I have a question for you, why do you think you had a no contact regime when the narcissist was able to text you?
You are 100% right. I don’t have a No Contact Regime. We work together and I have to keep the lines of communication open, unfortunately. Most of the time their is little or no communication. Now, because of COVID, I have to talk to him more frequently because I’m the person who updates the employees of what’s happening next. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I just want to know why. It doesn’t make sense. If the goal is to get fuel, why not tell me? Then he would gets lots of fuel?
Because he does not know the real reason why he needs to contact you, therefore he cannot tell you what he does not actually know. Remember, he is governed by his unconscious, instinctive narcissism.
Leigh,
If my daughter’s father ever did love anything, it’s the attention from a good death. It is terrible. But I have observed his family for some time now. Without giving too much information about who he is, the infamous death of his niece made national, if not international headlines. He became addicted to this sort of attention. Now that he is 50, and some of his previous IPPS are in their 40s, and may believe that he would never hoover them, he has found that hoovering over the death of a parent (either his or a victim’s), is the perfect way to pick up were things left off after 20+ years. It’s kind of gross. One of my daughter’s nanny’s was killed recently after leaving his home, and he immediately called me hoping that I would overflow with empathic energy on the phone. I immediately knew what he was doing, and acted sort of cold and distant while he put on a show. Death and narcissist is just so sickening. I am sorry he pulled that on you, but it’s all a scam.
An, that’s what’s so confusing to me. If they want the attention from their sources when someone dies, why not tell me? I would think he would get lots of fuel then.
Anm, I just reread your comment. It took a minute to resonate. You are so right. It is sickening. I feel like he’s using it as a tool to manipulate and devalue me. Thank you for your comment. It opened my eyes. They really are all pieces of shit!
Hello, Leigh.
I have had similar situations, not with a parent’s death but other news that others would consider important or impactful.
Different narcissists have acted normal in multiple conversations and then bam would tell me later of the news. At the time it hurt that the narcissist didn’t trust me or their feelings or moments of vulnerability. Today I feel like it is a matter of control and fuel. Did he need to share that information to get fuel from you? Did he need to work on another angle of control without trying to use the loss of his mom at that time?
ANM, I recently saw a news article of a famous person’s niece dying. It may not have been your narcissist, but when I read his response, it hit me as a very narcissistic thing to say. My thought was “couldn’t you at least fake it better.”
Getting There,
My ex isn’t famous per se, though he would like to think he is. Our families both have political ties though. That is sort of how we met. his niece was assasinated in a massacre.
Getting There, I used to be his go to person. Whenever he was sad or upset or hurt, he leaned on me. Now, he doesn’t anymore. Even though the formal relationship has been over for over a year, realizing that I’m no longer his go to person, still hits me like a ton of bricks. Each day it gets better but I keep asking myself, How did I get sucked into this madness?
I understand that feeling, Leigh. I used to be hurt by not being someone that another could talk to in big issue times. Now I look at it differently. It is probably mistaken pride on my part but now I see that I am becoming too strong to be used in that way. You are strong too. Yes you broke no contact. Many of us have. One of your strengths is that you haven’t been fully consumed by a momentary lapse of ET. When you go no contact again, you will have one more example of how you benefit from staying away from him. Please don’t beat yourself up.
Getting there. I mean, she was killed in a Mass Shooting.
Getting There, I know its my ET. Its gets me every time. Thank you for your supportive words. Its this forum that has helped me the most.
Oh, ANM! How sad! I’m sorry! Her poor parents!
Getting There,
Her mother (my ex’s sister) is a narcissist though. It’s a tragedy, yes. But my ex’s sister got to quit her job, make appearances on CNN, go to the White House to meet with Michelle Obama. The list goes on. There were so many hanger on people involved too. It’s all gross.
ANM,
Just the idea of losing a child at any age is heartbreaking. A mass shooting death could mean that she was afraid before her death. How does a parent lose a child, and in such a way, and not just break?
Getting There,
I know. It was a terrible situation. After I had my daughter, I tried to invite the mother (my ex’s sister) and her family into our lives, to be one big happy family. I asked my ex that instead of hiring nannies when I would return to work, that we would just ask his sister to care for our daughter, and i believed it would have given her and the entire family some love and healing. It turned into a battle of the egos, and my daughter was used as a pawn. Despite what my ex’s sister went through, she wasn’t allowed to come near our daughter unless she apologized to him for any disagreements that they ever had. She was something else as well. I told her that she is allowed to see my daughter any time she wants. Of course this also makes ME look like a narcissist with agendas, but I really dont have one. My daughter is now in the middle of their family feuds, their trauma, and there was a time when I would have done anything to give that family love and peace.
Anm, oh my gosh, that poor child. For her mother to use her death for her own agenda, its just depraved. May she is resting peacefully now that she is away from the monsters in her life.
This is why I know I can never interact with them. They will go to any length to get their precious fuel, even at the expense of their children.
Thank you for sharing.
ANM,
That was loving of you to try to bring whatever love and peace could be brought! I don’t see how your offer of letting her see your daughter as narcissistic. It looks like you were trying to be loving and welcoming with no conditions. You were caught in an ugly situation with them and you still showed the strength to do what you felt was the best loving answer!
What is being done to your daughter is sickening! It’s hard when you see that happening with your child and there is little you can do.
For your ex and his sister to both be like that, I wonder what their childhood was like.
Thank you. Getting There. I have had my intentions constantly questioned since my daughter has been born. Thank you for understanding my point of view. I really appreciate it.
ANM,
I’m sorry anyone had the ability to put doubt in your mind about what is in your heart. People project too much, so it shows more about them than it does about you. Stay strong and loving regardless of them, you and your daughter deserve it!
My two exes both successfully had me doubt my intentions at times. As far as they are concerned, though, it didn’t work all of the time. They knew I take pride in certain narcissistic traits of mine. Sometimes the manipulation would work right away; other times to their face I would respond with the pride. During those times I usually felt like I was doing something mean or bad later, after the pride, but I wouldn’t tell them. I didn’t want to open the can again.
Getting There, that is such a valid way of putting it. I know I am an Empath with Narcissistic traits. I take pride in both, but I get scared of the Narcissistic Traits dominating to the point of not living my purpose. Thank you so much for communicating with me. This is definitely not a conversation I could have with the average person. 💜
ANM,
Ah thank you! I’m glad we are talking! I have tried to talk to others outside of here about stuff like this, and they don’t understand. It becomes a source of a joke later on. I do like to joke about myself and enjoy when others joke about me, but sometimes it is nice to just be understood and to understand.
Between my pride in my narcissistic traits and my OCD tendencies, I can’t tell you how many times I have told HG that I think he is wrong in me being an empath. When reading your comment, though, it’s easy to see within you that the narcissistic traits are just as important for our purposes as the empathic ones. It’s easy to see that all traits you have make you a kind, strong, good hearted person. Can it be that the narcissistic traits, when used properly, help sharpen the empath traits?
Also I think it is the narcissistic traits that help us initially in the emotional sea also. I remember the Kelly Clarkson song “Hazel Eyes” coming on during one of my swims in the emotional sea. I cranked that song up and thought “oh heck no that you (the narcissist) will get to see me cry again.” I have hazel eyes and he never saw me cry again! I cried but he will never know. I love pride sometimes. LOL
Getting there, 💜
Leigh,
It’s part of his stupid game. The hook obviously worked. You are thinking about it.
Anm, “The hook obviously worked. You are thinking about it.”
Thank you! When you put it like that, it becomes very clear. I cannot believe I still fall for his machinations! I need to get off the wheel of misery.
ANM—I’m also sorry to hear this is ongoing. You are no doubt more than capable of mitigating the stress on your daughter though because of your knowledge. I know it causes you stress but you are absolutely in the best place. 💗
Pssst…Leigh, you may find this article helpful.
https://narcsite.com/2020/04/11/the-wrong-no-contact-9/
It was the imposition of control through triangulation. His sense of entitlement, lack of accountability, lack of emotional empathy and assertion of superiority was dictated by his narcissism. You don’t matter so he’s not telling you that mother has died (control). In his mind you are worthless and deserved to be punished/controlled.
theletterafterj,
I know its the wrong no contact. Unfortunately, I’m not in a position to go complete no contact. We work together. Fortunately for me, with the shutdown, the face-to-face contact has stopped. However, their has been contact through email & text, although its always work related. Until I can gain other employment, the best I can strive for is to stay as a NISS. I’m a former IPSS. Every once in awhile I start to get sucked back in again and when I wrote this original post, it was one of those days. The one thing I can always count on though is he always disappears again or as he calls it, “gives me space”. I actually relish in the space and can’t wait until I can go completely no contact.
Leigh
You are in a very difficult position; take advantage of the shutdown/space to increase your logic. It is my understanding that, once an Intimate Partner, always an Intimate Partner, or Former Intimate Partner (FIP). I don’t know if you are familiar with this article, but you may find it helpful.
https://narcsite.com/2019/12/09/how-to-reduce-giving-fuel-to-the-narcissist-7/comment-page-1/
HG Tudor says:
July 25, 2019 at 17:32
Because you can never be a NISS (even though you are treated as such) because your emotional thinking corrupts your Love Devotee trait and you will always hanker for the intimacy that occurred. The narcissist of course treats you like a friend and then the next time you come off the shelf will bed you, if that is what is necessary to exert control and gain fuel. You cannot ‘be friends’ with a narcissist after being an IPPS or IPSS.
https://narcsite.com/2019/05/16/come-one-come-all-6/comment-page-1/#comments
theletterafterj,
We really are nothing more than colleagues. I called myself a NiSS because I wasn’t sure what else to call myself. It’s been over a year that the intimate relationship has been over. At this point I won’t ever go back to the intimate relationship and I don’t want to be friends either. Because of my position at work, I have to remain polite and cordial.
When he didn’t tell me about his mother, yes I was sad. And unfortunately seeing him all the time, does bring up some feelings. Mostly sadness. None that would evermake me go back though. I can see what he is now.
I’m in a much better place than I was a year ago and it’s all because of this blog.
And yes, being away from him for 5 weeks now has definitely helped with my logical thinking.
Thank you.
My pleasure Leigh
I certainly wouldn’t want to be in your position. It must be very difficult for you to process your feelings while remaining polite and cordial. Your sadness is understandable and, once we understand what they really are, going back isn’t an option anymore.
Keep reading; accurate information, NC/low contact and time will significantly reduce your Emotional Thinking.
theletterafterj, thank you for reminding me of this article. I just reread. This a tremendous help until I can find another job and completely go no contact.
Thank you
theletterafterj,
You hit the nail right on the head. Once you know who they really are, going back is no longer an option. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. If I went back it would be my fault. It would be like poking at bees nest and then wondering why I got stung. No thank you, i’m good.
Yes, It was extremely difficult in the beginning to have to face him and pretend to be nice for the sake of not losing my job. The one saving grace is that he always withdraws and disappears for weeks or months at a time. When he does come around, am I giving him fuel? Probably. Its never enough to sustain him though because, like I said he always withdraws.
Thank you for listening. Sometimes all I need to do is vent. Every day I’m so thankful I found this blog.
Thank you Mr. Tudor.
My pleasure Leigh
Kicking The Hornet’s Nest, almost always, guarantees that you will be impaled by The Devil’s Pitchfork.
I am thankful that I found Narcsite, too, it’s the perfect place to let it all out and many of the bloggers understand what you are going through and don’t worry about giving him fuel, just focus on reading and learning until you are able to GOSO.
75/100. Thank you for the short quiz HG. It helps affirm that I am learning.
You’re welcome
50/100.
I’m not too bothered. The important thing is I’m learning what to DO, or what NOT to do (take that, Hamlet!), when they try this shit.
“Take that, Hamlet” lol!
Ugha!! 65. I don’t think I know the difference between negative fuel and challenge fuel.
Three Interactions is required reading.
Thank you HG, I just purchased it.
Thank you for doing so, it’s a central aspect of gaining understanding
I need to re-read it; I suspect the distinction between negative fuel and challenge fuel is not always an easy one for a non-narc to grasp.
Violetta, I remember you struggled with that not long ago too. At the time I thought I knew the difference but after this quiz, I definitely need more reading. I have a stockpile for my next day off (I don’t hoard TP, I hoard LB)
Hello, I remember Negative Fuel and Challenge Fuel explained in a way that understood it in the book Fuel.
I used to have a problem understanding the difference between Wounding and Challenge Fuel but NA explained it in a very simplistic way and HG confirmed it. I just can’t remember the explanation but I know that I now understand the concept. I think Wounding is basically they don’t even matter at all while challenge fuel is you are fighting back but they still matter hence you are still engaging your energy on them. Pure Negative Fuel is you are angry or hurt but not fighting back I believe.
65 too. some of them were a bit tricky!
I am movin’ on up; I got a 70!!!
80
Nice!
Wow great job!
Woo-HOO!
65? Accompanied by a condescending message asking if I need tutoring? How low can this go?? Hahahahaha
Hardly condescending when it is correct.
Tone can make a correct assessment sound like a condescending suggestion.
There is no tone, it was a straight forward question. I also note you ignored the congratulatory question element of it also. Tone would be “You are completely hopeless so you really do need tutoring.”
I ignored it because it felt like a backhanded compliment, at least in my defeated spirit. I feel hopeless, but I will persist!!
Purely your perception SP, be assured it was not and now you’ve asked, you now know, so that’s clarified. You’re far from defeated.
Maybe he meant to write “Tudoring?”
Oh that is already happening, Lisk.
Are you Tudored enough? That sounds like a great slogan.
Just purchased Narc Vision bundle. Not sure whether to delve into my studies first or take a diagnostic pre-quiz!
75 on the diagnostic. Looking forward to my Narc studies!
Tricky, HG! I knew I shouldn’t have tried! These ruin my day. No more!
What!? 65? I seriously thought I would do better on this one. It did not ruin my day MB, but definitely irked me.
I got 75. Some of them could have more than one answer. I think I read too much into some questions. I need to look only at what is there. It frustrates the fuck out of me! I know this material very well.
MB – if you’re cursing, you must be frustrated!
I’m pretty sure I need to stay after class. For remediation and for saying the f word!
Haha!
MB
I’m pretty sure you require a spanking so that it really sinks in.
NA, Is that what “Tudoring” is? I didn’t sign up for that! 😳
MB:
“Yes, Professor Snape, I HAVE bunked off studying lately. I must be punished. YOU must punish me!”
(Cue rest of Castle Anthrax scene from Holy Grail.)
MB
He’s keeping you on your toes and that is a good thing.
Yep. Irked.
I read this one extra carefully.
60 !!???!!!😳😳😳😳
65% 😢 very good quiz. I love your quizzes HG.
Thank you, it is all about the learning.
Thank you HG. I think your an empath. (ET again I know).