Kiss Me
The kiss is probably the pinnacle of romanticism from everything that I have observed. The couple who flirt with one another throughout the film in an attempt to create a will they or won’t they scenario, finally kiss and everybody smiles. The kidnapped child is finally reunited with his parents and is smothered in relieved kisses. The power of seduction that exists in that first kiss between a passionate couple which then leads to their love making. A kiss good bye on a steam filled railway platform. As ever, books and films have played their part in elevating the status of the kiss to near legendary status.
Like so much of what I do, the kiss is a weapon which I use to maximise the impact of my machinations. At the outset I shall use it to overpower you. You are unlikely to have much resistance to my overtures following my campaign of love-bombing but if there is any it will be obliterated the first time I kiss you. I have studied a thousand kisses.
From Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity to Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in Gone With the Wind through to Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in Ghost. I have viewed Audrey Hepburn jump from her taxi to kiss George Peppard in the rain in the film, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and the post-nuptial kiss between Prince Charles and Princess Diana. It is not just the famous kisses that have been subjected to my scrutiny. I have sat at railway stations and watched the greeting kiss, full of excitement and passion or the departure kiss which encapsulates longing.
I have watched the almost frenzied and desperate embrace that arises from a man finally ensnaring his quarry in a nightclub after spending a couple of hours chatting her up. Whilst sipping from my drink in a restaurant I see hundreds of kisses between spouses, lovers, friends and acquaintances all delivered in different styles with varying emphasises. All of this knowledge is collated and stored ready for my use.
I have been told many times how good a kisser I am. I am blessed with full lips and therefore do not suffer the sometimes dispassionate affliction that can befall those who have lips of a thinner nature. From my observations I have learned to make my advance slowly, lingering just in front of the other person’s lips as I reach a hand up to cradle their neck and let my fingers lightly caress the back of their neck. My soft lips press gently against theirs and then I retreat slightly before advancing again and then retreating.
I do this several times before allowing my mouth to press on to theirs and remain there as we lock our embrace, lips moving slowly together, each time moving a little wider until a tentative tongue gently probes and touches against hers. My tongue flicks back and forth as the embrace grows stronger. I can hear her low moan of delight and know that this approach is working. I reach another arm around her and pull her closer to me, bodies pressed against one another and now her mouth has opened wider, her own tongue almost battling with mine.
I know that the tingle will be racing up and down her spine; I know that she will feel the churning in her stomach and that light headedness will be sweeping across her. I am well practised in the art of the seductive kiss and during our golden period I shall allow you to experience it often. I shall do it when we meet in my house at the end of the day, I will embrace you in that fashion when I lead you by the hand to our bedroom and I shall surprise you by grabbing hold of you in the lift and kissing you in this way.
What of course is all the sweeter about being able to embrace you in such a scintillating fashion is the fact that I will withdraw this marvellous kiss. You will take hold of me and push your mouth against mine only to find that my lips are set rigid and do not respond in the way you have been used to. There is no warmth or passion. You wonder where it has gone. The truth is that there was never any there to begin with. Like so much of what I do, it is an artifice purely designed to capture you and make the inevitable denigration all the more contrasting.
I can see the confusion in your eyes as you try again to kiss me but the effect is the same. You look at me, eyes searching for an answer but I do not offer one. You ask me what is wrong and I look away and say that there is nothing wrong. I have a variety of responses which confuse you when you try to kiss me or expect to be kissed. When once I kissed you often and repeatedly I will reduce it to next to nothing. This reduction coupled with a lack of explanation has you flailing around for some kind of reason. You end up blaming yourself of course that is to be expected. I will do any or all of the following:-
- Remain tight-lipped when we kiss;
- Move my head so you kiss my cheek rather than my mouth;
- Put my hand up and block your advance;
- Hug you instead so that your kiss flies into thin air over my shoulder
- Just walk away
Where once my kiss was magical and uplifting, now it is cold or non-existent. You relished our passionate embraces and now you find yourself remarking how it is like kissing an automaton or a mannequin. I do not care. All I wish to achieve is your pained and hurt reaction to the cold front that I exhibit where once there was heat and passion.
22 thoughts on “Kiss Me”
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Ah! The Kiss. The snog. The kiss – years since I last had a proper one.
I suppose, from what I have learned about narcissism and the machinations / manipulations, they would use the ‘kiss’ as a tool just to show ‘it’s ok, everything is fine’. Not that the narcissist is actually thinking “Oh, I’d better give her a kiss”, it would be instinctive – the MRN did this. On the MRN’s part, I now understand it to be either a) assertion of control (ie when the narcissist senses ‘distancing’ from me), or b) obtaining fuel (when the narcissist is needing it).
When other people kiss, ie an empath, they mean it. An affirmation of their empathy, or emotion.
This article is a very good explanation and gives clarity into understanding the human psyche and actions better than many relationship ‘experts’ profess to understand. HG understands the ‘power’ of a kiss, through his words.
Made me giggle….”like kissing an automaton or a mannequin”.
From Wikipedia “The Kiss (in German Der Kuss) is an oil-on-canvas painting with added gold leaf, silver and platinum. By the Austrian Symbolist painter Gustav Klimt. It was painted at some point in 1907 and 1908, during the height of what scholars call his “Golden Period””.
How apt. The ‘Golden Period’.
Hi Asp Emp, glad to know I am not alone in the “years since I last had a proper one”, though I would not wish it on anyone, you especially. I suppose that will just make it that much more special when our non-narc future person lays one on us, right?? 🙂
AV, I’ve been snogging lollies, so I am not actually going without 😉
What in the world are “snogging” and “lollies”?? And where can I get one??
Kissing and popsicles.
(laughing)…..Thank you for ‘translating’ that, HG 🙂
Oh, hahaha, kind of knew I might regret asking! Thank you!
AV, I laughed so much…… can’t believe you have never heard of ‘snogging’……(maybe it is not used as much, if at all, in USA)……. laughing again,….lollies.
Now, you know, so you know where you can get them 😉
Haha, I’ve seen them used, probably separately, here on the blog, but not in a capacity that prompted me to ask. Lol, yes I do know where I can go for some now! 🤣
Yes! The kiss is very important. There’s nothing worse than a bad kiss..
The kisses were amazing but they were a f-n lie. Every damn one of them. Poison.
Wow I guess Cher was right. I have been listening to and reading a lot of your work, and at times I feel your disdain for the lower echolon narcissists. I have laughted out loud at some of your comments as they are genuinely witty and funny. I was wondering how you treated people. This is the first time I have read about how you behave, and I found this article both frightening and chilliing. Now I am greatful that the narcissits I have interacted with are not very clever, they can’t keep track of their lies, which means for me, I can spot them and kept them at arms length, which was still too close. But if I am ever kissed like that, I will know to run a mile!
Ah, I remembered that first dizziness, the whole world was spinning when we met. He had to hold me up so I wouldn’t fall. I remember his smile at these moments …
“You have a nice mouth,” I blurted out far too soon, when we started dating.
Men with full lips usually kiss quite gently, as if incompletely. Feminine… Something is missing.
I prefer male lips with clear edges that stick firmly and sharply into my lips and skin.
“My” narcissist took me when and how he wanted. I loved how selfishly he attracted me. One harder grip was enough, one harder press, and he didn’t have to do anything else. When my monster woke up, he could relax. The rest of the show was on my side, ha ha ha 😊
The description of a gentle, romantic approach does not appeal to me. However, the closer-further method is very familiar to me. I also love her in sex. I used it regularly 😊
I also like the risk, the possibility of being caught, all kinds of weird places – both of the narcissists were great at it. Nature – an additional bonus, especially when leaves rustle, wind blows, sea rustles, or a thunderstorm rages, additional effects. Mrrrau 😊 The bed may be, but it is not enough …
But I loved HIS purr most of all …
Asshole 😊
Dear Mr Tudor,
Yes, I’ve read about this in other articles.
Narcs want their kissing and sex to be the best, in order to receive the praise and adulation about themselves they so crave. Another form of power and control over another.
When you withdraw the kissing and sex ……… what’s left ?
As you age, there needs to be a hellava lot more to your relationship than just kissing and sex!
This a great article, says a lot! Thank you
Kiss kiss mwah 💋
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Hi Bubbles,
I think after the withdrawal it is the hope we have of getting it back that is left. From my experience anyway.
AV
And the narsissist is getting their praise and admiration from someone else..
Most likely. And their sex.
Dearest A Victor,
Therein lies the magic word…. ‘hope’ ……big mistake !
If you truly care and respect another person, you just don’t play games like this, why would you?
Narcs motto…. I giveth and I taketh what I want, when I want and how I want
No thank you, stuff that !
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Oh Bubbles, exactly! I need to keep drilling this into my head! Thank you so much!! If there inconsistency, that is not okay! Thankyou!
Dearest A Victor,
Correct ….. inconsistency is not ok
You’re welcome 😝
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Both my exes were fantastic kissers right off the bat. I never got bored with the first one’s kisses. The second didn’t try after a while, very boring. It was probably part of the dynamic, control through boredom or some such. To take something intended to be so special and intimate and dismantle and reframed it like he did, ugh. A narcissist’s perversion of another piece of what should joyous in one’s life.
Ever heard Leonard Cohen “A Thousand Kisses Deep” HG?
I’m going to have to add him to my Narc Hunter list. I can’t see how someone can write like that and be a narcissist. Empath all the way.