Questioning Me
Do feel free to ask me anything you like. I am here for you to dip into my mind and for you to benefit from learning how I view the world. No question is off limits and if you want to establish a dialogue with me, then so much the better. You will be helping me so I can show the treatment team that I am interacting with people in this setting. You can ask me why I do certain things, what am I thinking, what my favourite food is, whatever you like. This is your chance to extract as much knowledge and information from me as you possibly can. If you want to just make a statement, go ahead. Fill your boots. I don’t know you so I won’t fly into a rage (this does happen when people I know question me but that is because they have an agenda – you don’t because we don’t know one another). I look forward to hearing from you.
Mr. Tudor,
I have a couple of questions regarding greater narcissists.
Do they recognize other narcissists? So for instance, does Bill Clinton recognize that Hillary is a narcissist?
Would a greater ever take another greater as an IPPS?
If so, could narcissistic cementation happen between two greaters?
If so, do you have an example of narcissistic cementation (past or present) between two greaters?
Thank you in advance.
1. Often, yes.
2. Unlikely.
Thank you for your response, Mr. Tudor.
You are welcome.
Dear HG,
Why can’t there be cementation between two greaters?
Is it just too much clash of wills?
Thanks for your time and replies xx
I did not state that there cannot be cementation between two greater narcissists.
Dear HG,
You said, “unlikely”
I thought unlikely meant no. I’m sorry, now I’m confused. Xx
No = not any.
Unlikely = not likely to happen, be done, or be true; improbable.
No removes any possibility.
Unlikely maintains possibility, albeit slim.
Dear HG,
Is it possible for cementation to work out between 2 greaters, or is it too much clash of wills?
Thanks for your time and replies xx
It is possible, albeit unlikely.
Dear HG,
I thought you meant unlikely as in, a million to one chance. … …Xx
‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.
Thank you for your time and replies, HG, much appreciated xx ❤️❤️
Dear HG,
Are there any historical relationships that narcissistic cementation worked out and can you maybe do a series on narc cementation relationships?? Xx
Thanks for your time and replies xx
You will have to wait and see.
Dear HG,
I’m looking forward to hopefully seeing it. Xx
Thanks for your time and replies xx
Rebecca,
I would guess that because greaters are so much fewer in number than midrangers that that plays a part in the reduced likelihood of narcissistic cementation of two of them.
And Mr. Tudor has often said that he doesn’t worry about other narcissists finding the blog or YouTube, because the midrangers think they’re empathic and the lessers are not looking. The Greaters are too busy with their own machinations.
So the cementation would take two greaters both needing something the other possessed and that other sources were/are unable to get them. The resources of the greater are much higher than other schools, generally speaking so it would have to be something of substantial import. They would have to put up with threats to control and likely someone quicker to reduce their fuel output, owing to their own needs for fuel.
So if the greater is busy with their own plans, gets better fuel from empaths and experiences fewer threats to control, they would not go looking for another greater narcissist to couple with long term without substantial residual benefits (access to information) or character traits to be acquired (royalty? if that appealed to them, and it might not).
These are my thoughts on why it would be “unlikely” for two greaters to cement. That being said, I’m on the hunt for information about one party of a famous couple where I think there is reason to suspect it of being two greaters involved with each other for several decades. There were interesting circumstances that might have enabled them both to not be as troubled, generally speaking, by threatening each other’s control. I’ve requested the first biography I’ve ever seen for one party involved. So I’m hoping that there are some darn good sources listed in the back. Then, depending on my findings, I might be indulging in “Know the Narcissist.” I think the person is likely a narcissist, but a greater narcissist…could it be? Best ask H.G.
Well greater usually means wealth and power say 1% of population so it would be unlikely when 99% have less. To top it off, it’s not an easy existence. But then the “bag” new term my generation Z son taught me is attractive enough, I can see where two greater narcs would cement like the current King and Queen! Can you name potential others such as Hiliary and Bill? I think many greaters get the long suffering wife like Donald Trump. They stay in for the bag but aren’t greaters.
Hello Contagious–
King Charles III and Queen Camilla are not greaters. King Charles III is an upper midrange. Queen Camilla is a lower midrange. This was covered in HG’s Narcissistic Cementation video that was released recently that talked about them as a couple.
Bill and Hilary are a another representation of narcissistic cementation, but Bill is an Upper Greater (if memory serves). And Hilary is not self aware. I wish I could remember where HG said that in a video…I think it was one of the lives or interviews. I think she is a midrange narcissist; I would guess ?Upper Midrange?.
Hi Dani,
I’ve heard Mr. Tudor use Bill and Hilary as an example of narcissistic cementation at least twice. I think the first time was in an interview with Doug. I’m 9.9% that Hilary is Upper Mid Range Elite. I know Bill is a Greater but I can’t remember his sub-school or his cadre. My truthseeker won’t let me let this go. I’m going to find that Doug interview, lol and get back to you.
Lol Contagious, up in the dungeon with you for skipping Tudor classes!
„I can see where two greater narcs would cement like the current King and Queen“
HG revealed their schools over and over again in many videos.
„Can you name potential others such as Hiliary and Bill?“
HG talked about their schools as well on many occasions, in interviews and all kinds of videos.
„I think many greaters get the long suffering wife like Donald Trump.“
HG created a great number of videos on Trump and repeatedly revealed his school.
You’d be surprised!
Thank you, Dani and looking forward to your findings. Xx
Hi Dani & Rebecca,
When I brought up narcissistic cementation between two greaters, I had a couple of different thoughts swirling around.
Would two politicians, who are greaters, get together in order to stop a third party?
Would two royal members from different countries, who are greaters, get together to create an empire?
Would two successful CEOs, who are greaters get together to create a conglomerate?
Would two successful entertainers, who are greaters, get together to create a power couple?
One other thing I was thinking was could narcissistic cementation between greaters have been more prevalent historically, not so much today.
Leigh and Dani,
Yes, I’m very interested in historical narcissistic cementation and how that dynamics works. Another couple I thought about, not greaters….I don’t think….but, Marilyn Monroe and JFK, both narcs and well, you see how they turned out, apart and dead….I wonder how much of their relationship caused their deaths?? Xx
Oh, HG! Could you PLEASE do a video on those two??? PLEASE xx
Blair and murdoch worked together for a while. Both greaters. I think Blair ended up sleeping with his wife though. But my understanding is they can work together when necesssry. I would love to know how this works though. When each will be highly suspicious of one another. I recall a quote of Blair and murdoch, something along the lines of it being like two porcupines getting into bed with each other.
Looking forward to the upcoming article .
Hi Leigh,
I think that your questions are all good thoughts for what might bring two greaters together, and I also wonder if it wouldn’t have been more prevalent historically…I hope that HG will share with us what he knows in time. It’s always an educational experience, listening to the Ultra.
Rebecca hi,
I would be surprised if Marilyn would turn out to be a narcissist, but who knows. She strikes me as an authentic, vulnerable and resilient empath, who in life and in death was and still is used by all kinds of people to make money out of her, including purposeful misrepresentation which sadly turns out to be more profitable.
Be it the ’Marilyn estate’ which sells her for what not, or motion picture and documentary using her remaining popularity all over the world to bring forth an agenda, she might have never agreed upon. People are eager in propagating what benefits them, instead of presenting the information which requires a deeper research and a willingness to present a rather „boring“ story of an individual who struggled but also succeeded in life and made the best out of what she thought was the right thing to do and would make her happy aside the film enthusiasts of that particular culture.
She had an artistic soul and unique magnetic ability whilst her main creation turned out to be Marilyn Monroe – the tool by which she gathered either fuel or what she, at least at the beginning, might have thought was love and human connection, of which she was starved of as a child. Her rare interviews in her later years are insightful on this.
She also had narcissistic attributes, by being an actress you gotta have them as we know, but the inaccuracy of her biography and character goes way too far sometimes and people even struggle to see or accept if it says “fictional story based on“ and take it as facts for their judgements of her.
If you’re interested – the “Goodnight Marilyn” podcast provides more accurate information and actual facts and more probable facts, as it is multifaceted, the information broadly researched and accurately analysed, in my opinion. With reasonable biographers, collectors and investigators as guests. It also includes the investigation on her death, the Kennedys and the psychological topics. The same team also produced a follow up „Marilyn: Behind the Icon“ podcast, but I haven’t listened to it yet. So probably it’s good as well and with eventually new findings and development.
But yea, it would be very interesting to find out if she was a narcissist or not, I agree! Though it would not make any difference for me as I find her absolutely authentic and gorgeous in almost all of her pursuits💕 If it turns out to be a product of her narcissism – that’ll impress me even more…her instinct/knowledge and representation of emotion, not only as a comedian but also in the few serious roles she played…
Dani, I think along the same lines as you. Greaters might have mutual respect for each other’s achievements but they remain chess players and there is only one throne and that’s the actual cementation they’re looking for, and are also able to achieve. Putin comes to mind; basically a nobody from the street who became King. Greaters are incredible strategists!
Hi, Jordy—
Agreed. The greaters have to be getting major benefits from each other if they are going to cement. I also think that historically, a female greater in the right place would see the benefit of playing within the rules (and around them when able) without going directly against them. i.e. A female greater narcissist, Rome, 100 B.C. – 27 A.D. is not going to be wasting her time trying to lead violent, armed revolts or armies to conquer foreign lands, though there is a woman with possible links to high level involvement in the Catiline conspiracy. I don’t think she, based on what I know of her, was a greater. (and based on the names HG has shared of female greaters, Elizabeth I (Upper Greater) and Margaret Thatcher (? Greater) are the two I recall).
I can think of a few ancient ladies that it would be interesting to have HG put under the Tudorscope. These two are not still world famous. I’m just looking for those with enough information to be worth passing to HG. Ladies, one more of the shadows, and another a bit more shiny to those of her world and time. One there is a lot more information about, but the other is more interesting to me personally. So fingers crossed.
Greaters are amazing strategists…indeed.
Fingers crossed!!! Can’t wait what you’re up to!
(Margaret Thatcher: Upper Greater. Cerebral)
😘
My narcissist was a real estate attorney and helped me get exclusive deal in real estate purchase. I know it’s a manipulation after reading ur work. This was not done in golden period, this was already in sustained devaluation years after we were together. Was this manipulation done in order for me to be eternally grateful and in a way silence me in the future since it was such a generous thing to do?
Dear HG
1-Have you heard of Ars Goetia?
2-Do you think that narcissism and psychopathy could be the result of the supernatural?
3-If so which demon from Ars Goetia can you relate to the most?
4- Have you read the works of Aleister Crowley?
5- The works of Ian Fleming?
6- Did you know Crowley and Fleming had a connection?
7- Have you ever had a palm reading?
8- Tarot card reading?
9- Ever played with an Ouija board?
10- Indulged in a Seance?
11- Ever seen or experienced voodoo?
12- Seen pure evil?
13-Experienced something supernatural? If so can you tell us the tale?
1. Yes.
2. No.
3. I do not.
4. No.
5. Yes.
6. No
7. No.
8. Yes.
9. No.
10. No.
11. No.
12. Every morning.
13. No.
My Dearest HG,
it somewhat surprised me to learn that you have had a tarot card reading, this is something that I assumed you would have dismissed as being nonsense, but as you have I am curious as to know what you thought of the outcome ?
Has anything that you were told come to fruition ?
Thank you for your time.
Sending you love ❤️❤️❤️
It is nonsense. I did it as part of a seduction of someone who was interested in tarot.
HG,
Thank you for your extremely prompt response, your reply did make me smile xxx
HG
I find your lack of faith disturbing
Good.
Anna, I loved your cool worded oneliner, and I love HG’s oneworded response.
I have found most study psychology and apply it as amateurs. Others are con artists who say you are cursed and if you spend $600 or so they will get rid of it. I have never met a true one, seen a ghost BUT I have had dreams that are un-nerving. And I have met people that seem inhuman.
Lol no 12… well HG you might be wrong. God works in mysterious ways….also I recommend Michael Crichton’s book called ‘Travels’ He was a Harvard educated doctor who graduated summa cum laude who wrote best selling books such as Jurassic Park and the Andromeda Strain and was one not film directing…but this one dives into his supernatural searching….he believed in astral travel, in dreams, and met a few ( but said 99% cons) psychics, and had interesting shams like experiences in the Himalayas I believe…
Dani,
HG has a video, where a woman does a card reading for him. Xx
Rebecca,
If I remember rightly, the video that you refer to was just some nut case who took it upon herself to do a reading for HG without him even being present, I am sure that HG will correct me if I am wrong, so we can discount that reading as utter nonsense and unprofessional.
It was an unsolicited reading.
HG,
Yes, that’s the one I mentioned. I think it was late last year, or earlier this year, when you shared the video. It was about people targetting you, but it was vague, as most readings are…xx
HG I thought you had faith?
Only in myself.
Correct Carole, but it was still a tarot card reading done for HG, and I think tarot card readings are mostly coincidence and observation from the reader, a scam mostly to keep people paying to find out more and more. Houdini did a thing with exposing mediums and such, a long time ago. Xx
Hey Rebecca,
Yes, I just cannot comprehend how a tarot card reading can be done without the individual being present, she, in my opinion, made a mockery of it and I found it extremely disrespectful, distasteful and unprofessional to HG to do a reading without his consent.
I have however visited a clairvoyant myself, while being a little sceptical at first and offered nothing to her she gave me information that was not public knowledge, she did not take my name when booking and just provided me with a number so no prior research was undertaken by her.
She was extremely accurate with almost everything that she told me, albeit there were some things that came to fruition some years later and I had only remembered what she had told me because I found an old diary that I had made notes in.
If you ask me do I believe, at this point in my life I would have to say no, and I cannot answer why, I would like to believe but over the past few years life has been extremely tough and I have lost a little bit of faith, so life to me now is what I make it and not about spirits guiding me xx
@Carole,
I’ve had a friend do a couple of tarot card readings on me and they were accurate, she knew me after all, but I also noticed they were kinda vague too.
I agree with you, tarot card readings shouldn’t be done without consent and without the person being there, othwrwise, to me, it’s like putting a jinx on someone….that’s what it feels like to me. I could be wrong feeling that way, but it is how it feels to me. Xx
I was feeling restless one midnight in Manhattan a few years ago and decided to take a walk. I was accosted by a psychic on the street who invited me up to her place for a tarot reading. I didn’t believe in it, but it was 20 bucks. I was feeling generous and wanted to support the local market for tourist grift.
She worked her cards and, wouldn’t you know it, she saw that I was romantically interested in someone who I sometimes wanted more attention from…
If I gave her another 20 bucks, she would even tell me who it was.
Dear Carole,
My mum was very much into witchcraft, spirit guides, tarot etc …..she had boxes of it along with all the paraphernalia n trinkets.
She would tell me of all her predictions and spells coming true, however, I never personally witnessed or experienced any of her physic phenomena. She even made a voodoo doll of me …bless her 🤣
Sorry, meant Anna, not Dani xx
Hi Rebecca,
Yes I saw that video. Was quite amusing
Anna,
Yes, I remember she had an annoying habit of saying “umm” a lot, during the whole reading. 🤣xx
I see so many narcissists sticking out their tongue, is that used to dominate people as I’m bad:badass: superior: or is it just an indication of receiving lots of potent amounts of delicious fuel, like a coke high ?
It is done as a provocation from a position of believed superiority. It is also bad manners and they should have their impudent backsides given a sound larruping.
HG, is Shield Maiden or your current IPPS religious? If so, is she devout? Thank you.
No.
How much do you dislike Bette Midler’s version of The Wind Beneath My Wings?
Have you seen The Guardian’s list of the 20 best concert films – Ranked!?
If you wanted to, could you buy T2 Tea?
Have you seen an episode of Fisk?
I adore that song, I t play it when I feed my budgie and we sing along together. It gives me a warm, prurient glow within.
Yes.
Yes.
No.
HG and Annaamel,
What is T2tea??xx
Any tea that is drunk at Terminal 2 at an airport.
HG,
What’s so special about that tea? Xx
Thanks for your replies and time xx
Earl grey or just normal black tea?
Do you fly BA?
I drink various teas.
I use various airlines.
Do you drink your tea plain or with cream and sugar?
Thank you, sir.
Sometimes plain, sometimes with milk.
Never with cream and never with sugar.
Thank you, sir.
It’s hip/posh tea, Rebecca, that comes in lots of flavours.
Thank you Annanmel for the info. I think I should order some and try it. Any flavors you suggest??xx
Dear Rebecca,
T2 is an Australian company originating in Melbourne 1996 by two co-founders (hence T2) creating different exotic brews and sold in over 100 stores globally. Fantastic products btw!
Thank you Bubbles, for your info, any suggestions on a flavor I should try?? Xx
By the name Terminal 2 tea, I thought it was tea sold only at Heathrow Airport or something like that. 🤣😁xx
Rebecca and Bubbles,
The first T2 store that opened in 1996 was a trendy novelty at the time.
It was located on a street that was grungy and seedy, and also arty and ‘alternative’. At that time, the street was known for a number of popular and ‘exotic’ restaurants, bars, cafes and a comedy venue. There were trendy hair-salons, clothing and food stores. It also had discount shops and second-hand shops. It wasn’t the kind of street that looked safe to walk alone at night or use the public toilets. (I was desperate one time and went to a public toilet and there were several syringes on the ground.)
Back then, I’d occasionally go shopping or to a cafe or restaurant there and I recall going to the first T2 store. At the time, there were no other stores like it anywhere so it filled a niche. I thought the packaging was bright and colourful and the store’s presentation was original and eye-catching, but the product itself was basically over-priced tea leaves.
The T2 concept caught on though and became very popular and soon there were stores opening in large shopping centres and overseas. It’s ironic that it’s an ‘upmarket’ line of stores now, considering the location of the first store.
I received a package of T2 tea as a gift at one point. To each their own, but I’d rather buy herbal tea in teabags from the supermarket than faff around with tea leaves and ‘exclusive’ teabags. It’s not as glamorous, but tastes just as good and I can also buy lunch to go with the tea 🫖🍝
Dear WiserNow,
Thank you lovely for more in-depth history on T2, how very interesting.
We stopped drinking loose tea in teapots to tea bags (so much easier). The antique Made in England Blue Willow teapot now sits as a decoration hehe . Our daughter receives T2 gifts and buys them as pressies. Their flavours are quite exotic and varied though.
We do try to support local businesses and Australian products as much as possible. Americans may not appreciate tea as we do seeing as they make their tea in a microwave and are not into kettles apparently 😱
I’ve been sipping tea since I was knee-high to a grasshopper! However, Aussies do luv their coffee ….we have fabulous proper coffee here, not that Starbucks or brewed n stewed coffee muck haha
I know Mr Tudor doesn’t like talking about food…… however…..Narcissists do have strange eating habits, are fussy eaters and have body dysmorphia. Look at TOW and Sharon Osborne atm. 😱
Always a pleasure WiserNow 💕
Hi Bubbles,
Thank you for your message. It’s always a pleasure to read your comments and chat with you too, Bubbles.
You have reminded me of how good espresso coffee is and how much I enjoy it. When it comes to tea and coffee, I have developed a habit of making either one with a view to efficiency rather than taking the time to savour the experience of having a cuppa.
I agree with you about supporting local businesses and buying Australian-made products. I do the same most of the time. Sometimes though, I can’t help some forthright views percolating through (pardon the pun! 🙂 )
At the back of a cupboard somewhere, I have an electric espresso maker, like one of those stovetop traditional Italian coffee makers – the ones that have a top and bottom half that screw together with a funnel-like part in the centre where you put the ground coffee.
Now that you have reminded me of it, I need to take it out and make myself an espresso – mmm, yum! I make mine slightly less intense in a standard cup with sugar and a dash of milk.
I enjoy both tea and coffee. I keep meaning to buy some Yorkshire tea since HG mentioned it in his ‘Tea with Sam and HG’ videos on YouTube. I generally drink English Breakfast or Earl Grey tea when drinking standard tea, however, my favourite teas are herbal – either peppermint or rosehip/hibiscus. Also, Twinings makes a herbal tea called Cranberry & Pomegranate – both the taste and the colour are lovely.
It’s funny that you mention your ‘Made in England’ Blue Willow teapot that now serves as a decoration. I have a set of Blue Willow cups and saucers as well. Years ago, my Mum would serve coffee in them when people came to visit. They have sentimental value to me now and I wouldn’t part with them.
When it comes to narcissists and food, I think the somatic narcissists put a lot of importance on their looks, weight, fitness, etc, but they also seem to have a deluded attitude as well. I think some of them believe they’re invincible and they are unrealistic about their health and well-being. Take Harry’s wife for example. If she is using ozempic for weight-loss, it’s really not a long-term option for losing weight or a healthy way to treat your body.
When it comes to narcissists, it’s probably more about control in the now rather than long-term stable health.
Thanks again for your comments here and in other threads too, Bubbles. It’s always lovely to hear from you 🙂
Hahaha!
(Almost lost the first sip of my morning coffee.)
WhoCares,
I’m lost on the significence of Terminal 2 tea…..xx
Rebecca,
I didn’t get past the answer to question one…still laughing. (Only cause I was thinking of some bird owner videos on IG – and I just can’t imagine…)
There is nothing like a proper cup of English tea. I am like HG but I like it strong with milk not cream. No wonder society and personal ills often find a cup of tea waiting in the UK. You can’t match it!
WhoCares,
You made me laugh, reminds me of a friend’s bird. 🤣 My friend had a Cockatoo and it would cuss people out, who came over. Her boyfriend taught it curse words and she had to put the bird, in the back of the house, when company came over at her house. 🤣🤣 It was funny, when she spoke about having a party, she would say, I gotta put ” ” in the back room again, naughty bird. 🤣xx
Rebecca- it’s all cute and fun til the guests come over, I guess!
My maternal grandmother had a rainbow lorikeet (Christmas present from the whole family). Key phrase it learned: “You’re gonna f*ckin die!”
Pretty bird, dirty mouth.
@WhoCares,
🤣😁🤣 That’s funny, dirty mouthed birds are great, except around mixed company….I think the birds just like the attention cussing gets them, like some people do. Xx
@Contagious,
Tea was the first thing I had to try, when I went to England and visited some friends there. It was the first time I had tea with milk and I really liked it! I still prefer hot tea with honey, but I do enjoy it with milk too. Xx
In Poland, tea with milk is called “bavarka” – the name suggests its origin from Bavaria, but it is said to have French roots.
In my country, people drink tea pure or with sugar – at any time of the day and quite often. Rarely anyone drinks tea with milk, although I remember the taste from my childhood – I liked it.
However, I was surprised to read about tea with cream! I can’t imagine this combination – I don’t think I even want to try it – in my opinion these two products clash 🙂
Personally, I love the bitter taste, so strong tea and long-brewed herbs – only in pure form.
… when I saw the first part in my email notifications
“I adore that song…”
I was startled. Haven’t even seen HG use Adore about “Never Let Me Down Again”…
Another Cat – exactly. I didn’t think “adore” was even in HG’s vocabulary – unless he’s writing a piece from a mid-range perspective.
Another Cat and WhoCares,
I think HG was being funny, saying he adored the song.. I could almost hear him doing an impression of a woman’s voice, saying that he adores that song….I had images of Snow White singing to the birds….🤣 it tickled me….love HG’s humour. Xx
Rebecca,
I saw Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in theatre, as a child, during one of its re-releases – but, whenever I think of Snow White singing with forest animals, I can’t not think of this scene from a Shrek movie…(perhaps it’s more HG’s style? Don’t bother watching past the 1:00 mark – unless you appreciate dragon-donkey hybrids):
https://youtu.be/0L1sL54G45Q?feature=shared
@WhoCares,
Yes, I remember that scene well 🤣🤣xx You’re right! 🤣😁Parts of that movie weren’t meant for kids to understand….xx
WhoCares–
When I saw your comment…I was totally tickled…and I thought of this other scene from Shrek with birds and singing…which I can also see as being HG’s musical interactions with an animal…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd4j-dQyHEQ
And then what happens after Fiona takes care of the bird…I feel like HG would do that…he’s a practical man, you know…
Haha – Dani, I had forgotten about that scene! The Shrek franchise certainly did a good job eradicating many ‘Disneyfied’ fairy tale memories.
Haha, same!
WhoCares
This is the scene I thought you were talking about, I hope it’s the right one. Xx
Exploding bird and Fiona. Xxhttps://youtube.com/watch?v=xd4j-dQyHEQ&feature=shared
Dani,
That waa the same video clip I was trying to share on here. 🤣 Fiona and the exploding bird….when WhoCares, mentioned Shrek, that’s the scene I pictured. Xx
Joa: No place to reply so I write here. I grew up next to a Polish family. They had 5 girls and the youngest was my age and first childhood friend. Although American, they drink tea as hat way. Mostly they impressed me. I recall Polkas, family gatherings, homemade food yum! Beet soup, dumplings, kalbasa. But this will sound weird, they were hard working but the CLEANEST people I have ever met. The dishes were washed spotless, you could eat off their floors, a family of 7, but every bed made with a baptism outfit at the end of the bed. The lawn was clipped and mowed. I wonder if this was just them or a polish trait! Honorable. The mother was my second mom and the grandmother… everyone loved Bubby! I found a couple of bears in the UK which I am sending my friend at Christmas from a popular cartoon. What a great culture!
HG,
😄 I can’t imagine you acting like Snow White, singing with the birds, a pet bird no less. …🤣 A very funny image 😁😄 xx
@HG,
I still think my favorite part is when the Gingerbreadman says, “Not the gumdrop buttons!” 🤣🤣 I can imagine you doing a voice impression of the Gingerbread man saying that line! 🤣🤣 It would be very hilarious and entertaining, HG! 🤣🤣😁❤️❤️xx
Dear Mr Tudor,
Absolutely priceless 🤣
I went to the Grammys and saw it performed live. A hot young Sting was next to me and Bette’s kid kept kicking my seat from behind. All I can say is that she was so talented, I cried. What a talent.
It’s definitely a song that can bring on tears.
Annaamel,
Most of that movie, either made me laugh or cry. Both women were so great in that movie and the song is truly heartbreaking. I can’t listen to it without getting emotional.
hmmm… not sure I want to know the real meaning behind the budgie answer.
‘Prurient’ doesn’t belong in that sentence… 🐦
…coming from HG, none of the words belong, really…
Yes it does.
I can’t see how, HG, but I’m laughing anyway…
I am unsurprised.
Dear WiserNow,
He was being utterly facetious 😈
🤣
Hi TS,
It makes sense to me. And not feeling guilty about detaching from your mum sounds like it is a good thing for you. Taking care of yourself is important in situations when you deal with difficult people and narcissists.
HG, have you read Lundy Bancroft’s work? If so, do you think any of it’s accurate? Thanks.
No.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Humanity continues to let me down. How can those celebrate this awful tragedy we are all witnessing in Israel? To see celebration around the world is truly disturbing and frightening. To witness pro Palestinian rallies in my own country as well, is very scary. Hate is taught, I truly do not understand this degree of hate…..and never will ! Is it possible to please explain this type of ingrained thinking and behaviour?
This is not meant to be at all ‘political’ and I hope no one is offended by me asking but to try to gain understanding of what exactly we are dealing with!
If this topic is too sensitive for discussion or to even publish my comment, I completely understand! I feel the world is in complete shock right now
Thank you
Dear Bubbles,
Did you see HG’s recent video Vaccine? Not sure what you think of vaccines, but it described how non-narcs can get sucked into following narcs and having certain beliefs. I think he’s also said non-narcs can do things we find awful (say killing families), if it’s for an ideology. HG said most of the killings are by normals. Emotional empathy goes out the window when you don’t see a group of people as humans, but stealers of your homeland, vermin, etc.
I don’t get it but I see it in both my a Jewish and Palestine or Muslim friend. All of a sudden it’s lines drawn in the sand, empathy gone and that person you knew not there. I said to my best friend I know you… if a Palestian woman and baby were in front of you, you would not wish them harm. I will say again and again and again, people aren’t their governments. Special corporate and military interests run this world, your typical human is just putting one foot in front of the other walking this Earth trying to put food on the table for his or her family and a roof over the head. And many if most Palestinians don’t like Hamas. To me, they are like the mafia in Gangs of New York. I feel such heart ache for both countries and all countries in war. The regular folk and even the typical military suffer in this chess game. My marine son says it’s predicted in US marines that China and Taiwan will create the next world war in 2027-2035 as America will intervene because of the technology needed. He thinks North Korea will then descend on South Korea. It ain’t over. Never is.
Contagious,
I don’t get it either (for me, a group has to be zombies or anyone actively harming me/my people). Someone’s humanity or personality doesn’t actually disappear when those in charge say it does. We’re not in the old testament.
I agree (and think most people do too) that most of us are trying to get ourselves and our loved ones through life and aren’t out to get others.
As usual, civilians take the brunt of a war they may not even want.
I’m curious about your son saying China and Taiwan will start the next world war, as I’ve wondered if this Israel/Palestine situation will be it. Maybe they will both be parts of ww3, a middle eastern front and an eastern Asian front. :/
“Savages” by Marina is in my head and ever more relevant.
„China and Taiwan will start the next world war“ — nope, China takes Taiwan “legally” as they did with Hong-Kong… WW3 is an economic battlefield and via proxy wars fought in 3rd World countries as you see for instance with Ukraine and others.
Hi Candied: He thinks China is the closest military now to USA. Chinas economy isn’t where it needs to be yet he says. But they have built islands by Taiwan and often engage is crossing lines. It’s a heated situation. So if you think of Russia and Ukraine, or the never ending Israel and Palenstin… it’s red flags. Heated. For some reason he thinks the other WWIII could be Russia entering Poland. I don’t know. I hope not!
Contagious. I just read an article on the final moments of some of the victims in Israel. The bodies burned. A child and adult hugging in their final moments. They were so badly burned they had to do a scan to determine if it was one or two people. It brought tears to my eyes.
The cruelty of humanity. We have all this technology and yet humans are still so very cruel.
If you ask me, all of this, all of it is the work of the devil.
The innocents on each side suffering. It is awful. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Why?
Because of hate. This is the work of the devil. War is the work of the devil. It brings out the best and the worst in people.
It is so very sad.
Anna I agree 100%
Dear Contagious,
I saw Ben Shapiro’s video today, explaining some of it. Not all people think like westerners or have the same values and we just have to accept that. If it’s indoctrinated at a very early age, you know nothing else. Hate is hate, evil is evil. Simple ! As atrocious as it is to us!
Personally, if you want my land and it means so much to you, have it, I’d be more than happy go live somewhere else. It’s a pity we can’t all share and just live in peace.
Bubbles, “It’s a pity we can’t all share and just live in peace.” – my sentiments too. Sharing is not commonly observed as much these days.
Just play Ebony and Ivory, that’ll sort it out.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Ebony and Ivory ? Haha that’s wishful thinking, it will never happen !
Ebony and Ivory. Yes. That song can truly bring whirled peas.
Bubbles,
It’s an ongoing situation that has been much the same for as long as I can remember in the Gaza region.
Putting aside hatred and evil for a minute, I am reminded of some of the reading I have done (just for myself) on anger.
Researchers have studied why some people are more prone to aggression than others. They found that individual differences are linked to trait anger, which is a dimension of personality.
The following is an abstract from an article about trait anger and state anger:
“Some people are more prone to aggression than others. These individual differences are associated with trait anger, a personality dimension that relates to the frequency, intensity, and duration with which people experience angry feelings. Trait anger is an important antecedent of state anger and aggression. People with high trait anger tend to perceive situations as hostile and are less capable of controlling their hostile thoughts and feelings. Moreover, people with high trait anger display heightened approach motivation in threatening situations. This reactive approach motivation may be countered by avoidance states, which may reduce anger among high trait anger people. Insights into the underlying processes of trait anger may be used to combat human aggression.”
Article: ‘The facts on the furious: a brief review of the psychology of trait anger.’ by Lotte Veenstra, Brad Bushman and Sander Koole.
In the reading I’ve done about trait anger, it is described as a predictor of reactive aggressive behaviours.
While the topic is complex and I can’t give a meaningful summary in a short comment, an excerpt follows from one particular article I found interesting:
“First, high-trait-anger individuals could have chronically accessible hostile thoughts (e.g.,Todorov & Bargh, 2002). This view suggests that high trait-anger individuals would be faster to recognize hostile
stimuli regardless of situational primes. A second view suggests that individuals high in trait anger have stronger interconnections between hostile thoughts in memory (Berkowitz, 1993). If so, preexposure to a hostile prime should be more likely to speed the recognition of a hostile target at high levels of trait anger.”
– Article: ‘The Cognitive Basis of Trait Anger.’ by Benjamin Wilkowski and Michael Robinson.
It seems to me that high trait anger develops as a pattern of behaviour. It works to make the individual primed to react aggressively because the trait anger causes reactivity in situations that trigger a cognitive recognition of a seeming threat or hostile situation. Someone with low trait anger perceives no real threat or hostility. The high trait anger person reacts with aggression because of repeated anger reactions and the way this reactivity is linked in the brain to memory.
So, it may not be evil nor necessarily hatred as we perceive it, but rather a pattern of angry, or emotionally charged, reactivity that is repeated and creates a trigger of aggression in the mind.
Bubbles,
Sorry to go all technical on you. I don’t want to bore you with academic literature if you’re just interested in a friendly chat 🙂
Reading the comments about what’s happening in Gaza made me think of trait anger and aggressive behaviours and how that may be a factor.
If a person is continually involved in a peaceful environment their reactivity and propensity for aggression will be different from someone who is continually involved in a high-threat environment.
While this may be relevant, it’s a whole other matter to use the information to help alleviate what is happening in the world.
@HG,
If only a song would solve everything, but that’s magical thinking and only happens in movies. Xx
Dear AspEmp,
That would be the ideal world, however, men have this burning desire to create havoc and fight all the time, it’s in their DNA!
Don’t ya just love Mr Tudor’s dry sense of humour ? Haha
Btw, are you ok?
Dear Bubbles: yes and it brings an interesting question… if children are taught to hate a group of people from birth to 9, it would seem to create an unstable environment or is it? It could be stable with a unified ideology. And if not, check one factor off the list for creating a narcissist. But what about the gene? How do small children who are empaths or normals cope in an environment of hate. Likewise what if you grow up being told women are inferior? Does that create an unstable environment? You think of the Middle East and Africa but also children forced to become good soldiers who kill at age 9. Now being placed at a young age definitely would be an unstable environment. I guess my question to HG is cultured that indoctrinate their children from birth whether it’s the KKK or Muslim terrorist groups or guerrilla warfare… it seems narcs can be created. Psychopaths are just born but might thrive in such environments. Scary!!! Instead of “ Jesus loves all the children, all of he children of the world” or being taken at a young age to be a Tibetan monk… bred to hate. I don’t think the Western world is without this design we have the KKK, skin heads in Europe and Scandinavia too. And I wonder how children bred with hate ever evolve into balanced loving adults although that GENE must be there. So some must…
Bubbles:
“It takes but one foe to breed a war, not two, and those who possess no swords can still die upon them.” -LOTR
They’ll gladly take your land…and then they’ll want wherever you moved to.
Dear Candied Pansy,
Yes, I just finished listening to the Vaccine video. I’m not surprised and I do understand what he’s saying. I feel one should always try and do their own research and make an informed decision. I understand a lot wont or just can’t be bothered and are happy to go with the flow or the powers that be. Call it lazy or just taking the easy way out. People will always continue to be sheep no matter what.
I feel one’s degree of intelligence also adds to outcomes. Being pushed to the limit, humans are capable of anything.
On vaccines, I’m vaccinated to the hilt and about to get my Shingles vaccine.
My AWFUL father-in-law got shingles. He’s caused me great pain over the years, with evident delight. He’s a pox on so many lives, so it’s fitting. I have to admit the truth: an occasional dish of schadenfreude is delicious.
Dear Allison,
We Tudorites like a bit of delicious schadenfreude .…sounds like karma and retribution doing its bit, good for you 👏
Candied Pansy,
“Emotional empathy goes out the window when you don’t see a group of people as humans, but stealers of your homeland, vermin, etc.”
In general terms, I understand what you’re saying. From personal experience though, I think there is a genetic propensity or personality-based predisposition to violence and “not seeing a group of people as humans”.
I say this because my family is from a cultural background where there was historical conflict and violence between different ethnic groups throughout history. Despite many generations of my family growing up in this kind of country and being exposed to this kind of cultural environment from a young age, my family (and others in the same location) lived in peace and did not involve themselves in any kinds of cultural conflict. They grew up being inclusive and even sympathetic of others who weren’t of the same ethnicity. They did not believe in or engage in conflict. Even in their day to day activities and conversations among themselves, they did not talk about or dwell on differences between ethnicities. They didn’t think in terms of ‘enemies’ or think of other humans being different from themselves. They actually believed that political unrest and conflict was unnecessary and destructive. They weren’t hugely wealthy so they valued and protected what they did have and worked to improve their lives rather than destroy what they had built and achieved to date.
This doesn’t mean they were some kind of spiritual gurus or religious or cut off from others or anything like that. They were normal people going about their daily lives. There were narcissists, narcissistic, normal and empathic people among them and there may have been differences of opinion, likes and dislikes, family ‘weirdness’ or feuds of some kind or another, but there wasn’t outright hatred and division. There wasn’t violence or destruction. They lived in a peaceful, progressive kind of way.
While I understand what you’re saying, I also think that divisions between ethnicities can definitely be avoided if people think logically and focus on peace, progress and non-violence. I think conflict is a kind of emotional thinking.
A huge race division has been generated in Australia thru a recently polled referendum called The Voice. Basically, altering our Constitution (which is cemented in and permanent) for the inclusion of our indigenous. Whilst the general population are all in favour of our indigenous and we want what’s best for them, the overall consensus result was a resounding “NO”.
The whole narcissistic left wing activist Yes campaign, has created hate, diversity, name calling, bribery and lies. Their agenda was being rushed without clear concise honest open representation, basically lying by omission (withholding a further 26 page report). Our indigenous are already represented in our Parliament btw.
I have never seen such anger, bullying and name calling in what was meant to be a simple democratic vote.
Now the defeated are trying to guilt trip the rest of Australia and make us all out to be racist and full of hate. Absolutely disgusting.
My father and grandfather escaped Eastern Europe for a better life (my grandmother was shot down and never made it), however, it never made me feel hate towards mankind.
Interesting.
Dear Bubbles,
I’m so sorry you’re going through that and your country is going through that, horrible injustice and sadly, it repeats itself in other countries too. It’s heartbreaking, upsetting and just wrong.
Bubbles,
Your comment about the Voice referendum is interesting. I can see and I recognise what you’re saying because I saw elements of the same things during the campaigns for Yes and No.
I see the whole episode a little differently from you though.
Firstly, where I live, I haven’t seen many, if any, obviously indigenous people and I personally don’t know any. Having said that, there are also lots of Australians who have indigenous backgrounds or family members, however, you wouldn’t be able to recognise them as indigenous just by looking at them. Not all indigenous people actually look indigenous.
Since I don’t know any (that I recognise), I don’t have any firmly held opinions about indigenous people as a distinct ethnicity. I think there are all kinds of personalities among them, just like in any other ethnicity. As far as I’m concerned, they are Australian just like other Australians.
With regard to the Voice referendum, I agree with you that the Yes campaign was not convincing enough to sway voters. The information available was inadequate. All I really heard from the Yes campaign was that it was the right thing to do, it was time indigenous people had their voices heard, indigenous people deserved justice, it would give them a better life, prolong life expectancy, improve health conditions, reduce youth imprisonment, etc etc. A lot of rhetoric and unsubstantiated claims.
If the Yes vote had won, it would mean that Australia’s constitution would be changed to give indigenous people a “seat at the table” in political outcomes that affected them. How would this happen in practical terms? As far as I know, it would mean that “an advisory body” would be formed. There appeared to be no further specific or consistent details like who would be selected to sit on this advisory body and how would they be selected? What would this advisory body have legal powers to do? How would this body provide advice to government?
There was ambiguity in relation to how the Voice would actually change things. This made it difficult to decide on either Yes or No. To me, the ambiguity was one of the main factors a majority voted No.
In terms of the general concept of ‘a voice’ to parliament, I didn’t see the Yes campaign as divisive. Maybe that’s because I don’t have any direct interactions or possible consequences from change occurring and I thought the Yes campaign had a lot of positive energy behind it even though it lacked specific and concrete detail. I didn’t see or experience the hate, name-calling, bribery and lies that you have mentioned.
When the result was a no vote, I felt a sense of disappointment for indigenous people in general. This is because I saw it as an overarching message to them from the rest of Australia and it was a devaluing kind of message. It communicated to them that their interests and status in this country – in which they are the original inhabitants – is still not worthy of being heard in parliament and given real and equal inclusivity. By ‘overarching message’, I mean a kind of unspoken collective perception or overall status rather than individual beliefs and opinions.
The No outcome, to me with my limited knowledge of indigenous concerns, came from the Yes campaign not having enough detailed and practical information about how the so-called ‘change’ would be achieved. Even many indigenous people said they would vote no because they didn’t feel that it was inclusive or realistic or trustworthy.
I just think that a No result may worsen rather than improve the general path towards social ‘reconciliation’ and progress.
True reconciliation, I think, is a difficult objective to achieve because there is a very real contrast between cultures and lots of past resentments – and racism too.
As you say Bubbles, I think the vast majority of Australians want indigenous people to have better life outcomes and social conditions. The way to make this happen realistically though, needs practical outcomes in addition to positive rhetoric.
Dear Allison,
The defeated Yes campaigners are flying aboriginal flags at half mast and have gone into mourning for the whole week. BUT, a Royal Commission investigation into Aboriginal sexual abuse from the No campaign has been rejected from the Yes side …….whaaaatt????🤦♀️
None of it makes sense !
America’s next election will be very interesting 🤔
Bubbles: My son just got back from Darwin where many indigenous live. Is it wrong to say “ aborigines” now? He was fascinated by their culture. He was alarmed at the bigotry there. But he said the North is not the South there. He likened it more to racial divides. America has a history of discrimination against both our American Indians and Africans. So again, no country is immune sadly to hate:(
As another Australian with a different perspective, I’ll share mine, for balance.
I saw the referendum as a chance to improve out constitution. It’s been altered before, and in 1967 there was a resounding yes vote of over 90% to insert a change to make it fairer and less discriminatory.
But in lead up to this referendum many on the conservative side of politics mounted a dedicated campaign to generate fear about a yes win and implied the referendum and the result was causing and would generate division and unfairness.
The First Nations people asked for some small requests, hoping if their requests were not too strong they might be more readily accepted. Representatives from many communities came together to create the Uluṟu Statement from the Heart, where they laid out what they collectively hoped for from Australia, which they once occupied completely. They asked to be recognised as Australia’s first people. The voters said no. They asked to have a group of representatives who could inform the government of the indigenous perspective on matters concerning the Aboriginal and Torres Strait communities. Voters said no.
I’m sad about the result and a bit embarrassed, but like all other countries, Australians are affected by the stories they are told.
Dear Contagious,
I have a nurse friend who works on the army base in Darwin. It’s a tad hot n humid up north, also stingers and salt water croc country hehe. I hope your son enjoyed his visit there. They’re very lay back people. I’m saddened you mentioned bigotry, it maybe because of the huge increase in crime going on (alcohol, cost of living, plays a huge role) . My mum worked in the NT for years amongst the ‘aboriginal’ people. She absolutely loved them and got along famously, but that was over 70 years ago.
First Nations, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders people or Indigenous Australians are apparently the terminologies used today.
Our son’s partner actually describes herself as ‘part aboriginal’ never once has she used the term ‘indigenous’, she’s not at all offended by the word ‘aboriginal’ and she even voted no!
The lass I shared our desk with in primary school was full aboriginal. She was the loveliest of lovelies. I always wondered what happened to her, she was very bright, kind and softly spoken.
Unfortunately, the church, govt and welfare bodies at the time, treated our aboriginal people abominably (they stole 100,000 aboriginal children and babies from their families for adoption along with 250,000 WHITE children and babies) and they were all abused appallingly.
Absolutely despicable, cruel and horrendous to say the least. 😔
Dear WiserNow,
I enjoyed reading your comment, you certainly covered a lot of ground.
Of course, the majority of Aussies would like to see our First Nations people move forward in a positive open manner. Unfortunately, the referendum came across too rushed, hence lacked transparency and clarity, hence the result.
Personally, I was surprised with the overwhelming No result! I thought the Yes vote would landslide it in. Just goes to show! It will happen eventually, but for now, back to the drawing board.
Thank you WN 🥰
Dear annaamel,
Thank you for your comment, balance is always appreciated and I feel your sadness. Mistakes are always made in a presentation, however, I think the next referendum will bring about a more favourable positive vibe. All countries First Nations people deserve a voice. ☺️
WiserNow,
Maybe narcs and psychopaths have genetic and personal predispositions to violence and dehumanizing people, at least narcs. I don’t think any cultural / ethnic group is naturally more prone to hatred but people train themselves and each other to hate, and if you do it enough years, it can seem like a group is hateful. Maybe I’m wrong. My group (northwest European “american”) doesn’t look great, as we felt entitled to take the land of indigenous Americans. I don’t know if my ancestors were violent or particularly prone to dehumanizing, but they made their way in someone else’s land. Why are the people who belong here the poorest? Anyway…
Re: your family. I don’t disagree that people can be genetically different to others in their background. Do you think genetic and/or personality based predispositions to violence are individual? That would accord with your family’s situation. Is there something about the location, or was it that naturally more peaceful people lived there? I get that they’re not all saints and empaths. I think sometimes poverty and war can make people lean toward making life easier and less stressful. It can also go the other way. A lack of control environment is half of creating narcissists.
If I implied I think any people (hamas, Palestinians, israelis, anyone), is more prone to genocide or killing particular groups of people, it was unintentional and I must work on my delivery (not saying you accused me of that, just clarifying). I was shook by HG saying most of the killings are by Normals, and thinking of that, not any cultural background of said Normals.
I agree w/your last paragraph, that conflict is emotional thinking, plus IMO narcissists’ need to nullify threats to control.
Re: protection sorry my comment didn’t clarify that I didn’t assume you saw HG as guilty of a boohoo story. Your clarification wasn’t @me. I answer questions no one asked, even if I’m wrong or implying someone’s dumb. I replied w/o addressing all of your comment. As a likely ACON, your points on narc parents made me think of my maybe narc dad. He brainwashed me to see my mom as evil and dumb. Despite now being able to say it, I still feel an ick w/her, and afraid of him. So you’re right on the power of parents and that most narcs aren’t blatant as in HG’s post. I bet most people know all this w/o saying it but I’m not privy to history b/w commenters, having only started commenting this year. I wonder what went wrong w/my mother-baby dyad. 🙁
I think an empath who’d take a chance w/HG offline (I might one night, if I was “worthy”) may feel immune to his spell. We have inside info, but the addiction is real. We know that being aware of it doesn’t erase it, and HG is methadone. Not implying anyone else doesn’t know that better than me. Most of us are adults and jump in, knowing what’s in the water.
I don’t mean offense and apologize for misunderstandings. I don’t think anyone’s dumb but me and Prince Harry (I went to special ed, I can say it ;p ).
Dear Candied Pansy,
You are not dumb, you also cannot compare yourself to Harry either.
Please just stop it!
Mr Tudor and lovelies
I’ve recently felt some lovelies here are not coping atm. Something’s not right! I maybe wrong, but I have just this feeling.
We’re all here for each other! 💕
Candied Pansy,
Thank you for your comment. I have just sent Bubbles a comment that’s about trait anger and how that is a predictor for aggressive behaviours.
My comment to Bubbles also addresses some of the things you have said, CP.
When I think about living in peace or living in a hostile environment, there can be a variety of variables such as location, population, socio-economic conditions, fear, war, etc.
There is one common denominator though, I think, and that is how the human mind reacts to either peace or threat.
Without going into it in a lot of detail, this is why I thought of how the personality dimension of trait anger affects state anger and reactivity to situational aggression.
Like I said to Bubbles, sorry to get so technical 🙂
About the Protection thread, CP, thank you for your message and there’s no need to apologise. Since being on the blog, I have also researched various articles and studies about things related to psychology and narcissism and I sometimes include information in my comments in a general way that’s not specific to HG or anyone else.
I don’t think you or anyone here is dumb so please don’t think that. I just share the information if I think it may be relevant or helpful 🙂
Candied Pansy,
You are far from dumb and you’re in the best place for healing, support and getting your answers. Don’t let anything or anyone else keep you from what you need. Xx
Dear Candied: I wonder if the normals killing were their military? They go where directed. And yes they would in fact then kill the most. I would love HG to do a blog on military. People who join are adults so the cake is baked. But many assume because they are trained to kill, they have that violent aggressive tendency. I have gone of military in my family including my empath father who was greatly harmed from Vietnam. I was worried by hearing about my sons brutal field ops were they creating a narc? I actually consulted HG on this. He said no. HG says military is different. They don’t create narcs. They are adults. As to the military… imagine if we didn’t have one. Plenty of narcissistic psychopath leaders out there who would want your land, person, property and all of your loved ones. I wouldn’t give up my home Bubbles. I think I would become an assassin and go after those who really wanted it. Lol Ut oh maybe my empath is low as I hear my Viking ancestors calling when thinking of it! Lol Led Zeppelin Immigration song!
It’s off topic, ladies, sorry but what I always find astounding in small towns and small villages. It’s easy to see governmental world wide evil or see big city statistics but even in the tiniest of places, narcs and psychopaths exist. I liked Midsimer murders series for example. Or Truman Capotes book In Cold Blood. It always amazes me the reach of it.
Throughout time, testosterone conquered. Land, animals, sea, woman , people. It was needed. It is still needed. But do not forget the empaths voice. The peace, the love, the kindness, the logic of heart, of Faith that has made rule just, democracy grow, community heal, children thrive. Civility reign. An empaths voice grew this world. It starts with the child. And it goes beyond death. Empaths have the power to change this world as it has always done. But it starts with the child and in my view Faith. The fact the world exists is proof we are important. The fact a child is born is proof God has not given up all hope on mankind.
How do they see themselves in the 7th century?
What most people don’t understand–what I didn’t know myself, until I taught early medieval history last year–is that late-Roman Palestine had a high number of Christians, for obvious historical and geographical reasons. Along with the Zoroastrians, Jess who hadn’t fled in the Diaspora, and any lingering Jupiter-worshippers, they were targeted when the Jihad hit their area.
There are still Christians in Palestinian areas, but they are squeezed in the middle and try to stay ignored. They don’t dare speak out against Hamas, because the last thing they want to do is attract more attention.
HG
Magnet Empaths, are all of them Extroverted?
Or are some of this cadre introverts, shy individuals?
(I have noticed regarding your definition of ppl often walking up to them on the train/bus stop, that if I want to ask somebody unknown for directions or so, I often choose a quite timid person)
They are rarely extroverts.
Thank you.
Another Cat,
I don’t have huge Magnet Empath traits but it is the next biggest percentage after Carrier. Before my ensnarement, before encountering HG’s work, I would have identified myself as an introvert – preferring my own company, not so good in crowds (but better at one-on-one), and definitely requiring alone time after a social event where I have to talk to a lot of people or ‘be on’. I find the latter very draining. (Could be due to a small amount of Contagion.) I can be extroverted and talkative in certain situations but it’s not my normal state of being. Maybe others, with Magnet, have a different experience?
HI WC, I hope you are doing well. I concur with the time needed to recoup/regenerate, preferably alone in nature. I too have a small percentage contagion so I found your comment interesting.
Hello FYC,
Always good to have your input. Hope you’re doing well too. I agree that getting away into nature is often restorative. I am adjusting to new work commitments and hours – so, I have been neglectful with regard to getting out for hiking (I still walk plenty though). As an alternative, I find that getting up and having some quiet time during the wee hours of the morning (when there are fewer people awake and alert around me) also assists.
Hi WC,
I find this so interesting, you described me to a “T” and I have no Magnet or Contagion. I have wondered if the schools and cadres sit alongside some personality traits rather than dictating them?
That is interesting, AV. I don’t really know…I do know my RL empath friend is more outgoing and “bubbly” than me – the biggest difference there is that she has some Geyser & Saviour (both of which I lack.)
I am going to have to ask her about introversion/extroversion…I would say that she is more extroverted than me.
Or at least I am definitely more reserved than she is – with certain exceptions.
Hi WC, Likewise and I also enjoy the early morning sunrise. I’m so happy for you that you are busy with new work and life in general. You have come a long way and are thriving. Bravo!
Thank-you FYC. 💜
Hi Cat, I don’t know if this will be helpful, but I am a high percentage magnet empath. I love my time alone and need it, but I also enjoy people. When over exposed due to work or social events, I need to retreat and have my own space to renew. This is important. While people do ask me for directions, what happens with tremendous regularity is people go out of their way to talk to me about all kinds of things and love to tell me their life story in very personal detail. This happens wherever I go. All kinds of people. I can be out to dinner and a stranger will ask the person I am with to move so they can talk to me. It can be invasive. It can also be a gift. I’ve been able to help people at times, but I don’t want to get too involved. It’s not something I seek or do actively, it just happens. It’s always been this way. Of course no two empaths are alike, but this offers a minimal view of my experience as a magnet.
AnotherCat, “if I want to ask somebody unknown for directions or so, I often choose a quite timid person” – I used to do this too, as not to draw attention to myself (or the other person) and also (instinctively unaware) to avoid any potential adverse reaction (because of the childhood conditioning / abuse).
Thank you for asking this, AC.
Dear Ultra,
Do you have a bulletin about how to deal with young narcissists (teenager who will become adult narcissist) for their empathic professors?
It would be excellent 🙂
I do not.
Dear Mr Tudor,
The ‘Queen of Sheba’ and her ‘ummm’ palm boy, had only to walk 70 long steps (equiv to 200ft) to get to the Mental Heath Summit to talk nonsensical boring dribble.
Cars with safety belts always make for good conversation when talking about someone close dying, especially in front of ‘ummm’ palm boy.
How can two total non professionals talk about such a serious delicate topic which they know absolutely nothing about and give no constructive ideas or resolutions?
Another complete disaster 🤦♀️
I listened to her talk at the Summit, Bubbles, and it was a word salad. Very superficial and self-centred.
She also has a way of speaking with a tone of authority as though she thinks she’s saying something of profound importance. Then when you listen to her vacuous words, she hasn’t actually said anything.
It’s funny that you call her Queen of Sheba. When I was listening to HG on Youtube talking about the convoy of seven cars and her outfit, she was giving me Marie Antoinette vibes.
Harry the palm boy, lol. He is her meal-ticket and she touches and guides him along while he looks hapless and miserable.
Accurate
Thank you, HG.
Dear Wiser Now,
As I was watching HW talk at the Summit, I immediately thought of the Queen of Sheba (all high n mighty) like she was sitting on the Iron Throne from Games of Thrones haha (probably wired up under that extremely inappropriate off the shoulder piece of cloth ) HW ‘extravagance’ is definitely worthy of the Marie Antoinette title haha (she died at 37) Her word salad babble was unbelievable, the whole event was so boring. Give her a microphone and she won’t let go! Mentioning her invisible kids was extremely insensitive as was using the analogy of seat belts in cars (seeing as Diana’s death was also contributed to by not wearing hers) Her hair is always annoying and messy, I’d like to cut those ugly dangling bits off haha
They couldn’t relate seeing as their invisible kids are too young to have social media. They chose to view it thru their own lens as they always do and then proceeded to mention algorithms like they knew stuff haha Did you see the way she was glaring and blinking at Harry ? Mr Tudor’s AI of her on his YT’s thumb nails are too generous and makes her look prettier than she is, when in actual fact she looks like a stunned dear in front of headlights with oversized over white teeth, heavily blackened eyes and wrinkly leathered skin …..she’s quite scary looking now. Maybe that’s why Harry was nervously clenching his leg for dear life haha Daniel Boland on YT sends them up hilariously !
Harry n HW are both meaningless fluff! Let them eat cake !!! 🤣
Bubbles,
I saw the high and mighty attitude at the Summit too. HW lives for the attention and relishes the microphone. She lives to get dressed up and be applauded for simply showing up and it looks like she truly believes she deserves to be there talking about a subject in which she’s neither interested or invested. It’s similar to when she stages an appearance in order to get papped.
When I see her at events like the Summit or the Invictus Games, it immediately gives me a visceral feeling of irritation. I react to her arrogance and self-promotion. I’m irritated also because of the way people fawn around her and Harry and praise and applaud them. For what? For showing up? For wearing an inappropriate outfit, having seven security cars, and spouting off a useless, cliche’d word salad? It’s ridiculous – and yes, I agree, it’s boring.
If I was a parent in the audience who attended the Summit because of losing a child, I would be angry about her haughty attitude and her vacuous word-salad. I think I would also be angry about the media giving her so much unwarranted attention.
Child suicide because of online bullying or social media algorithms, or whatever the cause, is a serious subject that deserves more focus and discussion. To have the grifter’s useless word-salad as a focal point minimises the reason for having a Summit. If I was a parent at the event, I wouldn’t applaud her. Instead I’d ask the organisers for more insightful and knowledgeable speakers who were actually invested in the subject.
I’d also argue that it is counterproductive to have the couple there to promote the event. That’s because the media reports afterwards are so ridiculously vacuous and attendees are stupidly falling over themselves to get her autograph and photo. It defeats the purpose of having the event in the first place.
I agree with you about them being meaningless fluff. They don’t have the brain-cells or humility to even read up on the subject before the event in order to make their 5-minute appearance meaningful.
I also think she devalued Harry before and during their appearance at the Summit. He looked depressed and miserable. His negative fuel gives her the power to put on a show. He gives her the fuel and self-control for her facade. That’s how the high-and-mighty act and the rictus grin and the fake ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ persona are enabled.
On a side note, it reminds me of times years ago as a teen or young woman when I attended family events with my parents. I didn’t know what was happening at the time but I now have more insight with awareness. Before an event, my mother would, in private, provoke and cause some kind of drama and she would usually make me her target or devalue or belittle me. It was generally in subtle ways like a backhanded compliment, triangulation, criticism or an argument. Then at the event, in public, she glowed. She was grace and femininity personified and she said all the right things and looked like a star. I would look at her at those times while in public and I thought she was beautiful and commanded respect. I actually admired her presence even though I also felt personally depressed and confused.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Harry is being devalued and henpecked in private in order to power up The Queen of Sheba’s facade.
Back to HW at the Summit, the thing is that she gets the attention she wants. She gets her stupid rictus grin plastered all over the news and media reports the next day. She still gets experienced journalists writing paragraphs about her outfit, shoes, hair, earrings, etc. It’s exactly what she wants – and the irritating thing is that the media and audience lap it up.
When I was listening to HG talking about the *seven* security cars to transport H and his missus a mere 200ft, I thought of how the Invictus Games was the event she attended immediately before the Summit. The wave of attention she received at the IG was still fresh in her mind while preparing for the Summit.
At the IG, she was also given lots of attention. She marched in front of veterans with her chicken legs in shorts, took photos with disabled participants, and people were excited to shake her hand and take her photo. She was well-fueled by it all. That is exactly what she wants and she got it. Why would she stop when she’s getting exactly what she wants? Following the IG, why would she change? Instead, she ramped things up by having *seven* security cars at the Summit.
She is being enabled – by the media, by the organisers of these events, by the attendees and of course, by Harry.
Dear WiserNow,
You raised a couple of very important narcissistic traits. Firstly, being ‘devalued’ and henpecked in private, prior to an event (I’d find it very difficult to ‘put on a show’). Narcs always breeze thru it. Harry’s body language and facial expressions are a dead giveaway. On his own, he’s more relaxed and relatively happy. Her death stare is enough to leave anyone uncomfortable, her words would be very sarcastic and cutting, no wonder he’s acting anxious in her presence. He’s so deluded by her.
The second important issue you raised was ‘enabling’. She is being fed fuel constantly! We all know, she alerts some of the media herself and takes her own photographer. Being a Prince’s wife automatically comes with the press and attention, good and bad.
They’re almost following in Will n Jada’s footsteps by continuing to display this false narrative portraying this healthy, loving, caring, family oriented, environmental persona. It’s such a farce.
I’m baffled as to why organisations continue to support and promote them, as HW continues tarnish everything she touches.
They could’ve said so much about social media for children, but didn’t, such as working in conjunction with other organisations who have already instigated preventive measures. Advertising campaigns highlighting the dangers and so much more. They just made fools of themselves, yet again. It’s been reported they’ve helped with some funding, did they really though or did Archewell benefit again? Personally, we wouldn’t allow our children on social media til at least the age of 15, it’s called ‘responsible parenting’, which they both obviously know nothing about. Their invisible kids are already stuffed before they’ve even started. We were very much ‘hands on’ parents, unlike both of ours!
Unfortunately, HW only hears her own voice and won’t be told by anyone. Personally, they’re both as boring and as uninteresting as each other, however, from an educational viewpoint, they provide great narcissistic content. Narcs are really their own worst enemy and hate strong people. Her demise will be her own doing…you reap what you sow. Can hardly wait!
Dear WiserNow,
I’m looking forward to Mr Tudor’s update on the latest debacle concerning Gabor Maté, now saying he regretted his interview with ‘this one’ and the fact that listeners were required to ‘purchase’ his book Spare and then pay more to hear the podcast. 🤦♀️
We’re definitely gonna need more 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 ……🤣
Bubbles,
Thank you for your comments. I agree with the points you have made, and your further insights about HW, Harry’s book promotion and Gabor Mate.
HW’s behaviours are consistent if nothing else. Narcissists, especially lowers and mid-rangers, have the tendency of telling on themselves with their consistent need for attention, control and fuel. Give them enough rope, etc. They won’t be told and they can’t self-reflect, so they keep doing the same things. When I think about this habitual style, it helps to keep their actions – and the fallout of their actions – in perspective.
I haven’t heard the latest news about Gabor and his interviews with Harry in relation to the book ‘Spare’, however, the developments you describe are interesting. I have my suspicions about Gabor. I have watched some of his Youtube videos and he makes blatant and incorrect blanket generalisations and uses ‘spin’ in his explanations. For someone who professes to be highly invested in mental health issues, he seems to me to be invested in self-promotion rather than a fact-based, scientific approach.
I agree, we’re going to need more popcorn 🙂
Dear Bubbles,
In line with your comment about the way This One and This One’s Wife could have said more about social media for children, I totally agree.
Personally, I have limited time to do much internet research on the subject, however, I have had a quick look at why children and adolescents are susceptible to self-harm and suicidality due to social media use.
Even after a very brief look at information available online, I found that increased rates of depression and suicidality among young people parallelled simultaneous increases in social media use over the decade to 2018 in the US.
In one article I skimmed, the information pointed to findings that showed “social networking websites are utilized by suicidal and self-harming youth as a medium to communicate with and to seek social support from other users” – (‘The role of online social networking on deliberate self-harm and suicidality in adolescents: A systematized review of literature’, an article in the Indian Journal of Psychiatry.)
While this is only a tiny snippet of information, it suggests that social networking websites are not necessarily the ’cause’ of suicidality, but rather they attract young people who already have mental health vulnerabilities. These particular young people may then become more exposed to articles and videos about self-harm and suicide ideation which worsens their prior mental health vulnerabilities.
Therefore, there seems to be a ‘chicken-egg’ kind of influence. What comes first? – Is it social media that causes the mental health issues or is a child’s existing mental health issues exacerbated by social media?
It also appears that young people who spend time following and communicating with unknown people develop higher levels of depression compared to young people who follow and communicate with people they know.
There is much more information available and I have personally only looked at a tiny amount.
Harry and his wife – through Archewell Foundation – have been involved in this topic for about a year. In his speech, Harry thanked parents at the Summit, “for being with us physically here today but also being on this journey with us for the last year and creating this community of shared experience.”
The ‘community of shared experience’ has probably made inroads in how to protect young people from being adversely affected by social media use.
As you have pointed out, Bubbles, the speeches by the couple at the Summit though, did not portray the work done by Archewell Foundation very well.
Deer WiserNow,
Spot on with the ‘chicken n the egg’ scenario for children and young people with pre existing mental health issues and social media. It’s a very dangerous place as we know, as a lot of information is false and you can’t believe what you see or hear. We know of a young 12 year old girl currently in hospital with severe anorexia …….influenced by social media ! Her family and friends are devastated and are currently raising awareness throughout the community and funds for charities. Very sad.
When I was 12, I was stuffing my face and having fun down the beach.
I think most people would be interested in the transparencies of what Archewell have achieved. What positives, plans of action and more importantly financial statements, guess we will be waiting a long time. 😜
What type of reaction may be expected if the narcissist finds out post discard that I’m pregnant with his child?
I would need more information about the scenario to provide you with an accurate response, for instance, the type of narcissist, the basis of disengagement, when disengagement took place, whether the narcissist has a new IPPS and more besides. I would therefore recommend that you organise an audio consultation with me so I can address this with the detail it deserves.
HG, for context to my question, I am processing what is happening in Israel, where I have family and friends. You have shed light on so much of what is happening in the world, that I am compelled to ask you. Do you think most of those who commit acts killing or terrorizing civilians are narcissists, perhaps with a sadistic streak? Do you think greater narcissists are best suited for terrorism prevention, if doing so is in their interests?
Most of those who have undertaken the killing are normals.
Yes.
HG, thank you. Do normals have absolutely no emotional empathy for someone they do not know, even if the person is standing in front of them?
What is the difference, if any, in how normals regard a person they don’t know, from how narcissists regards that person, if there is no need or want to form an acquaintance?
Do some normals exhibit a sadistic streak?
The scenario you describe is more likely to lead to the exercise of emotional empathy.
The narcissist is driven by the prime aims, the normal is not.
That can manifest in certain extreme instances.
Sometimes I think, that very, very deeply, on some primal level, men hate women.
As if men were just waiting for the right circumstances, the right justification, the right legitimizing to be able to release it, unleash it, to be able to rape, humiliate, degrade, suppress, inflict suffering and rape and rape women again.
As if THAT was actually the main motive of their actions. Revenge on a woman.
Why? What for? What do they envy?
There is so much of it and so much of it, all around us.
—–
Moral rot, decline, degeneration and cesspool.
Lack of any nobility, own principles and steadfastness.
A herd of empty-headed robots.
—–
I hug in my thoughts to all women, those hurt, killed and those who still suffer 🙁 🙁 🙁
If only this swollen bubble of grief and compassion inside me could burst and explode, to bring you relief… If only…
Hey Joa,
I was thinking about you the other day as I hadn’t seen you commenting. I hope you are ok. Your comment here suggests to me that all might not be well.
Are you ok Joa?
Xx
Hi JOA,
Nice to see you commenting, but you seem troubled and upset….What’s troubling you?? Xx
Genesis 6.5
“Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”
Joa, I hope you are ok.
Sadism. That is what it is. There are sadists, sadly a lot of them.
Humans have also warped religion to use as a form of control over the masses.
Not just humans though, animals can also be incredibly cruel.
It is not easy when you fall into this downward spiral, to get back to the top of it again. Last Friday I fell back down into the pit of despair. The pain was awful.
By accepting, that you are not responsible for the evil in the hearts of those people, accepting and loving yourself for who you are.
There are also good people out there. Sadly when we are surrounded by toxic people, and darkness we fail to see the light in the corner. Head to that light. Be with the good. Look at the beauty of creation, the trees, the seas, the sound of the birds.
We may never understand why there is so much hate in the hearts of these people. Look after yourself, it is very important.
Joa: I think certain countries raise men to “ hate” or disrespect women like Saudi Arabia or the Taliban. Why I can understand oppressed men would run to join an extreme Muslim organization as it at least bumps him up to the leader over his women or women in general… power. It’s not limited to these type of countries where women have no individual rights or few… even in America I recall seeing he Presidential debate, where Donald Trump said “ I love women. I protect them. We protect our women.” As if women needed protection in the USA. But I think there is a huge imbalance when countries subjugate worn. It’s been shown when women have the right to an education and a job, the family does better and when families do better so does the country. It has been my experience men love women… my father, my son, past lovers and when you exist in this world, everyone does better. A friend of mine once told my children said “ when mom is happy, everyone is happy.” X
I’m all right.
The world is much worse.
This statement I referred to the brutality of Hamas people; raping women repeatedly, near the severed heads of their children and dead loved ones, dragging their mutilated bodies like trophies. So much suffering. So much pain.
Contagious – indeed, what a paradox, men must protect us… from men.
Thank you girls and best regards.
Dear JOA,
I understand how you feel. Xx I get angry about what’s happening there….and I don’t feel comfortable expressing more about it. Xx
Hi Joa,
I know, the world feels very heavy at the moment.
I have read some horrific accounts, and there will be more. Once read, these things stay with us, they upset and frustrate. They frustrate because we can do so little about it all. The level of hatred runs deep on both sides and this is what hatred results in, death, destruction and innocent children being killed.
It sounds awful but I’m having to stop reading the personal stories. It affects me and I can’t change any outcomes. I am up to date with what is happening, but I can’t read any more of the personal accounts.
I don’t know if that will make me feel better or worse through feeling guilty about not reading. It feels like ignoring them and ignoring them is wrong.
Not all of those rapists and child murderers will be narcs and psychopaths. Many will be normals wedded to an ideology, propagated by psychopaths and narcissists to achieve their own ends. Those women and children are dehumanised in the minds of those men. It’s a cancer of the mind.
Don’t lose faith. There are still good men in the world, but I have to confess that the world itself is slowly turning to shit.
Xx
Lends credence to “ordinary people are evil”. :/
HG I watched another internet online who said “Every psychopath is a narcissist but not every narcissist is a psychopath.” I don’t bought she was wrong from personal experience. He was diagnosed during a two year custody battle by a top child custody psychologist as a ASPD. I was with him for 6 years. No drama. None until the divorce. No love bombing. He was controlling. Sex was mundane and routine. He was detached. Loved poker, making money and boxing. That’s it. No love bombing. I fell for him as he seemed a family man who wanted children. And I had one. He seemed stable. Family oriented. Not really as he neglected his children from a prior marriage and left child rearing to me. But he was the last in the family and wanted to carry on the family name. He made the money, I took care of the children and I LOVED it. I had a wonderful time those years and I am grateful to him for that. It was an easy life without a lot of passion and I feel my fault in a sense as I didn’t love him the way a wife should. I think I lost it as he was not charitable, involved with the children or a great partner. But he was a criminal I found out later and why I left as if he was going down, I didn’t want to go down with him. I just think he is ASPD but not a narc. I disagree that they aren’t mutually exclusive. With that being said, they say psychopaths are born and sociopaths are made. I don’t get that either.
Contagious. They just say that every psychopath is a narcissist because they have one main goal. Themselves. They are number one. Survival. They will betray everyone to look after themselves only. This makes them narcissistic. Numero Uno. All for one and one for one.
Anna ! Hi! Totally agree but narcissism is not narcissistic. I think my ex is a ASPD but I don’t see narcissism. Is that possible?
Hello In So Many Words,
I just wanted to send you hugs and support, extending them to the people you know in Israel, and all those who are living in the terror of possible massacres.
All the best.
And extending them to all those Palestinians who are going to run out of food, have no access to water or electricity and are being bombed and can’t leave without permission of Israel who are backed by the US and who’s problems started because the British decided to materialise Zionism at the expense of the people who were already there?
What are the possible implications of a narcissist who discarded you completely (with disgust) finding out you may be pregnant with his child (after 6 weeks NC)?
I refer you to my earlier answer to your question.
Successful Escapes 17, adult child of a narcissist & an empath, is hands down my favorite! Mr. Tudor, you saved that little boy. I think that’s absolutely beautiful!
Leigh – I completely agree. I like listening to all of them – each story is different and I like hearing the ones done in the empath’s own voice…but 17 really got me. It was the perspective of the boy towards his mother and his inner thoughts. 💙💙💙
Hi WhoCares,
Hearing it from the child’s perspective and how it impacted him, hit me different. I felt like Mr. Tudor saved him because now he’s armed with knowledge and has a better chance of remaining narc free.
I think it’s so important that Mr. Tudor’s work reaches a younger demographic. This way they stand a better chance of never getting ensnared in the first place.
Leigh – I wholeheartedly concur.
WhoCares and Leigh,
The Successful Escape Series is a great series, love the stories and the strong people sharing them! The one that touched me the most, was the ACON with the Rainbow Mother. HG saved him and that makes me so much more grateful to HG. Xx I hope the ACON shares his story and he wrote it very well. Xx
WhoCares,
I accidently wrote a reply to you, under TS. Sorry to you and TS for the confusion and mistake. I’m glad WhoCares, that you were able to figure out , the response was to you. Xx Hope you’re well xx
Leigh and WhoCares,
I agree as well. I think it’s very promising that HG’s work reaches younger generations and children too.
WhoCares,
I listened to your escape story and I think you’re very brave. Living alone in the woods surrounded by snow with your ex and young son and then deciding to escape on foot must have been a frightening and nerve-wracking experience. Well done and thank you for sharing.
Thank-you, WiserNow.
You’re welcome, WhoCares.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Have you had a free moment to view the Beckham Netflix doco ?
What a refreshing contrast to the hopeless Harkles!
It’s getting outstanding feedback here Down Under !
No.
Dear Mr Tudor,
The doco is doing so well, those two grifters must be seething with jealousy. 🤬
Haha
We really enjoyed it !
Dear Bubbles,
This One’s wife must be screaming in her oversized shoes right now. 😁🤣xx
Hi H.G! I’ve just been listening to your video with Sam about Depeche Mode. Not a band that I’ve given much thought to, I might give them a try.
My question is about musical tastes. I have been involved with a number of narcissists over my life, and am clearly drawn to them. So is it, or is it not, a coincidence that my favourite rock star was/is Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, a man who is very clearly a narcissist? Is seeing his videos, his concert (once) and interviews filling the need I have for narcissists, albeit not in person?
Be interested to hear, if you have the time! Thank you!
Sam
Dear HG,
Now that the world is watching, would you consider analyzing Benjamin Netanyahu?
He’s on a long list.
Dear HG,
Enjoyed your discussion of Depeche Mode with Sam. Do you like the Beatles (my favorite band, and I grew up in the 80’s)? If yes, what are some of your favorite Beatles songs?
I am not particularly interested in the Beatles, unless I need to be.
HG, by “need to be to you” do you mean that your IPPS or one or more of your secondary sources like the Beatles?
I mean with regard to the relevant appliance.
HG, some miscellaneous questions for you. Thank you.
1. Could you be, or are you, in high IQ groups like Mensa?
2. Do you think the Albert Pike 3 world wars letter is real and accurate?
3. Do you enjoy the drinking game Ibble Dibble?
4. Would you be interviewed by the youtuber Ibble Dibble? She covers HW. The drinking game is irrelevant but would be entertaining, though you’re both a bit camera shy!
5. Are narcissists more prone to wanting intimate partners that look like them?
1. Yes.
2. I am not familiar with this.
3. I do not play it.
4. I do not know who this person is.
5. Not necessarily.
Thank you for answering. I was curious what you’d think of the letter, if what he may have said (if letter is real) re: the 3 wars has happened and is happening.
https://ia601900.us.archive.org/16/items/albert-pike-letter-to-mazzini/Albert%20Pike%20Letter%20to%20Mazzini.pdf
HG, what will happen to a greater, mid-range, and lesser narcissist when forced into solitary confinement, like at a super-max prison?
See the videos about the narcissist in prison.
I was heavily triangulated with waitresses and others when i was first ensnared. The flirting and humiliation in this triangulation was heavy duty, i was constantly on edge and hurt, felt humiliated. Why were they being so disrespectful in the golden period? Is this an example of a narcissist who can’t control the facade?
I found the recent conspiracy theorist videos very interesting. Thankyou for the explanation of the potential connection between narcissism and this phenomenon. I didn’t read all the comments but noticed there was a mix of reactions from ‘unsubscribing’ all the way to ‘this makes total sense and explains a lot.’
HG would be good to hear from you who are the biggest deceivers i.e. a narcissist who people think of as an empath and would never imagine being a narcissist and the other way around an empath who is perceived as a narcissist
Ooh, that’s a great idea, Kaitlyn! A fascinating notion.
Hi Kaitlyn.
‘narcissist who people think of as an empath and would never imagine being a narcissist’
Big deceivers.
If they act like empaths and are fortunate to be particularly persuasive then others may or will believe they are empaths. I can think of several well known people who are thought to be empaths by others who I and others consider to be narcissists.
I’ve sometimes seen viewers/readers challenge HG when he’s stated that a particular person is a narcissist because they see evidence for empathy. So the deception is strong.
‘and the other way around an empath who is perceived as a narcissist’
There is no deception in this scenario. It’s just a case of others making an incorrect call. The empath might be showing less empathy or acting in a way others deem narcissistic or those making the judgement are influenced by personal experiences, emotions, or others’ comments or opinions.
Satan is the ultimate deceiver, who disguises themself as an angel of the light.
Hi Anna,
First let me say I’m the worst kind of sinner, an apostate. But I’ve always wondered about this one thing.
I may be forgetting my Sunday school lessons, but this point always confused me. So, we have Lucifer, son of the morning, bearer of light. I thought the thing was that Lucifer (outside of Rabbinic tradition) got interpreted as the devil (by Jesus and all) thus making Satan in Christianity the actual Angel of Light.
I though he was really top dog, OG host with the most. Not a pretender but THE light bearer, so not deceptive about that. He got canned–you know, pride and all–and they didn’t fill the position, except for a time with that temp Roger in 1054 (a disaster).
They told me he was a liar, but I think he had a valid case. I always thought it was genius that the worst guy was actually the most brilliant. Still bad, but with undeniable beauty and grace. A hero, really; a solitary beast in the world ousted from his rightful place, gathering forces to reclaim it. That was a pillar of my faith, when I had it. But I maybe gave church a miss that day.
Is Satan actually deceptive, or only misunderstood?
Hello Allison,
We are all sinners. All of us, every single one.
No one is perfect. We are all human.
Is Satan deceptive or misunderstood?
The answer is both.
Lucifer is the Latin name for the morning appearances of the planet Venus. It corresponds to the Greek names Phosphorus Φωσφόρος, “light-bringer”, and Eosphorus Ἑωσφόρος, “dawn-bringer”. The entity’s Latin name was subsequently absorbed into Christianity as a name for the devil. Being only absorbed into Christianity. He was a major angel (messenger) but as we have free will so do the angels. He rebelled and thrown out of heaven. Heaven would be a different dimension.
Oh, Anna! Don’t take my exceptional depravity from me! I like to think I’m especially sinful having made a willful rebellion. I’m a danger to the cause as I know where all the messiahs are buried…
Thank you for indulging me. This is fun. I don’t often get to talk religion in this way.
I think of the devil as a mythic character, thus a candidate for literary analysis. As a character I don’t see him as deceptive about being an angel of light in any of the texts (I’d appreciate you jogging my memory). He is light. If we collapse the various biblical adversarial figures–the garden serpent, Lucifer, Satan, et al.–as Christianity does into one entity, I don’t recall any deception. From the beginning he’s pointed out a true path to human improvement: discernment. He’s enlightening, not deceptive. Maybe that’s how he’s misunderstood? He’s doing an unpopular job, but he’s not the real enemy? I’m on the side that he’s actually not a liar, including about his essence as an angel of light–the chief of angels.
Thank you for being willing to play with me, Anna.
Hi Allison and Anna,
This is a very lively and interesting conversation between you about Satan and the way he is represented in the bible. I hope you don’t mind me joining in with a comment.
After reading your very thought-provoking ideas about Satan, it made me think of my own views. When I now contemplate the meaning of Satan, or Lucifer, or the ‘Angel of Light’, or his being thrown out of heaven, etc, I see all of the various beliefs, interpretations, religious ideologies and faiths, as being magnified projections of what may have originally been a story using symbolism.
Please don’t think that I am minimising or mocking religious beliefs or trying to say that people shouldn’t have their faiths or opinions. That is not what I mean.
After reading passages from the bible, and reading different interpretations of them over the years, I now tend to see that it is a form of storytelling, similar to the kinds of storytelling we have now in this day and age.
Humans were humans back in the time when the bible was written, just as humans are humans now in our times when we have social media, films, novels, television, journalism, etc. By contemplating the bible as a ‘story’ told at a particular time in human history, it can be demystified and in so doing, seen as something that was not meant to have such a overbearing or all-encompassing effect on human behaviours or beliefs.
When I think of the meaning of Satan or Lucifer in the context of ‘storytelling’, I see the meaning of Satan as a symbol rather than seeing Satan as an actual entity or being.
In the course of religions and their institutions, churches and cathedrals, rituals, and theological and philosophical beliefs down the centuries, Satan became a being, or a creature with a body and a form. Along the way, Satan became a separate and powerful entity, outside of and distant and distinct from ordinary, ‘mortal’ and by comparison, powerless humans.
This is my own personal contemplation, by the way. I have reached this view because I see the ‘storytelling’ as a kind of art, just as other forms of art also convey their own kinds of stories. As a form of art, it is open to many interpretations from those who listen or look or learn from the ‘art’.
In the bible, Lucifer (the light bearer) is described as being originally one of God’s highest angels. God made Lucifer in his own image. It was Lucifer’s pride that made Lucifer want to be equal to or better than God. This caused God to strike Lucifer out of heaven and as Lucifer fell to earth, he looked like a lightning strike, bright and beautiful.
The symbolism carries over to Lucifer being called the morning star, which is the name given to the planet Venus. Again, this use of the planets to characterise a story is reminiscent of how humans used to think of planets in a symbolic way throughout the centuries.
Venus, being the planet closest to Earth and between the Sun and Earth, can be seen in the sky in the early morning before the Sun rises. The use of Venus to describe Lucifer as the ‘morning star’ is again, a symbol.
If the Sun is used to symbolise God as the brightest planet (or being) in the heavens, then Lucifer is seen as a light-reflecting star which is seen to precede God but is not as bright or powerful, ultimately, as God (or the sun).
Venus reflects the Sun’s light. That is, the Sun *is* the light itself. If the Sun is used as a symbol to describe God, then God is the light, while the morning star (i.e. Venus – which is used as a symbol for Satan) only reflects the light.
To me, if the story of Satan is distilled down to its essence, it is a story to symbolise that pride (which is the worst sin most despised by God, as described in the bible) leads to a downfall.
Throughout the centuries, humans have told and retold and retold the story again and again. It has been embellished, modified, glorified, used to manipulate and influence, used as dogma, and used to shame, coerce, steal, victimise and even kill.
In reality though, it is a story that has the ability to create illusions and interpretations in the same ways that other stories can.
Thanks again for your comments in this conversation and for raising this topic which is very interesting.
When the narcissist has been dumped and Hoovers an ex bc they need a replacement urgently, can they Hoover without having an ex enter their sphere of influence? Does the fact that they need fuel bring exes to the radar and therefore cause a Hoover trigger or do they need a Hoover trigger even when they have a fuel crisis?
For a hoover to take place, there must be a hoover trigger and for that to occur the ex must, in some form have entered a sphere of influence. They may not have contacted the narcissist or been seen across the room, but as you correctly suggest they may pop into the mind of the narcissist (thus enter a sphere of influence) by virtue of the narcissist needing to replace the escaped IPPS.
https://narcsite.com/2016/11/03/the-four-classes/comment-page-1/#comment-153777
I found this comment interesting. Very detailed.
Questions:
Can an aware Co-D with Contagion ‘confuse’ the sensations of those within a Co-D with those of the Contagion?
Is it possible for the aware narcissist to “feel” a strong attachment to an empath that they find irresistible?
I don’t understand your first question.
No.
AspEmp,
Aware and unaware narcs, neither form attachments. Its not possible for them. Xx
Thank you for your response. HG.
the narcissism may say “no”, a psychopath may say “yes” because the interest is there
Asp Amp,
“Is it possible for the aware narcissist to “feel” a strong attachment to an empath that they find irresistible?”
Your question made me think of Windstorm, a past commenter active on the blog around when I first joined. She’s Contagion and her ex, a Greater.
She never did NC and would attend family events, etc., as I understand, with her ex. She could sense things beneath his exterior that was being presented to others, such as the thrill/kick he got when fueled by others – like pulling one over on them – and he knew this about her.
Of course, we know that he wouldn’t actually ‘feel’ attached to her, but the attraction would be that she remained under control…but, I cannot help thinking that he would get an extra kick out of the knowledge that she could sense these things?
I always feel weird talking about Windstorm’s stories when she’s not here, but I learned so much from her… and I didn’t even ‘know’ her as much as some fellow blog commenters.
WhoCares,
I heard your escape story. And I’m so relieved for all you were able to accomplish in getting away with a small child, and I’m glad that you found HG.
Do you recall where some of WindStorm’s comments are?
Hello Dani,
Thank-you for your comment. Relief, yes – I get that you would perhaps feel that, listening to my recording…there have been moments of huge relief for me, along the way, and few – very few – regrets.
I have saved many references to conversations with Windstorm – just not on this device – but I will try to look some up.
HI Dani,
There used to be a blogger by the name of K on the blog. She was fantastic at being able to find old comments. She had told me once how to do it. It doesn’t always work for me though. Anyway, in the Google search bar, type narcsite: and then any word that you want to search on. So in this case I did, narcsite: windstorm whocares. A ton of conversations came up. Here’s just one:
https://narcsite.com/2015/12/23/the-futility-of-your-feeling/
Hope that helps.
Thank-you Leigh for doing that for Dani. Just a note though, many of Windstorm’s convos were with others that I simply listened in on.
Thank you, WhoCares! Thank you, Leigh!
It helps enormously! I appreciate you both!
Hi Dani,
Per WhoCares’ comment below, you may want you remove “WhoCares” from the search criteria to see what other results you get as well.
WhoCares, thank you. Yes, I recall reading some of Windstorm’s comments and found them interesting. I gauged that she had possibly majority Contagion to be able to sense the Greater’s ‘hidden’ presence that others may not have sensed because of lower measurements of Contagion (or lack of awareness of narcissists / empaths)? Yes, I do understand and appreciate your last sentence. Thank you for responding 🙂
Asp Amp,
It was before the time of the Empath Detector – but, yes, I suspect if Windstorm had taken it she would have scored as a majority Contagion.
Thank you, WhoCares 🙂
WhoCares and AspEmp,
Its why after listening to Number 17 on the Successful Escapes Series, I asked HG if the ACON with the Rainbow Mother was a Contagion Empath, because he could see through the narcs and they avoided him. I believe its a Contagion thing…I have a bit of Contagion in me. Xx
Rebecca, I could not say for sure about the male ACON’s empath schools / cadres, he did suggest that maybe he’ll share his story one day. He shared his mother’s story through his eyes?
Hi Rebecca: HG said greaters like contagions for what they can do. Also cult leaders like contagians. But they are empaths. As a contagian myself you sense something is off right away but are lured in by the confusion. The words. You discount your instincts for the same reasons others do to truth find, to heal, to fix, because you want the golden period to be true. With HGs help, I would say you learn to listen to your initial instincts better. With the education, you spot narcs more readily. And whether contagian or not who wants to be with someone who does not love them? I watched his series on King Charles and Camilla where they agree the benefits were worth it. But empaths love … love. You give that up with a narc. Anyway, again many of you did escape stories and they were all astounding! Thank you for sharing!!!!
Hi Contagious,
Sometimes I can sense right away, when someone is fake and full of bs, other times, it’s like that part of me is on holiday and comes back later. For example: When my parents were looking for a house and one house they really liked. We went to meet the homeowners. I liked the husband, but I saw right through the wife’s bs. She even had the nerve to fake an accent. I told my parents to watch out for her, don’t agree to anything without the realtor present. They didn’t listen to me….I was 20 at the time, what did I know? My dad ended up replacing the wiring in the house, among other things…..she lied about the maintainence and the overall function of the house. In the end, they had to get a new furnace, A/C and of course the wiring. They were pretty upset and my mother said to me, “Yeah, yeah, you told us! Little Miss Know it all. How does it feel to be right all the time?” I just stared at her in shock, why was she mad at me? I didn’t understand what I did wrong. I know now, I threatened her control and made her feel dumb and small, so she made me feel dumb and small. Anyway, the thing is, I sensed that woman’s lies and saw through her bs. My contagion isn’t always awake, but it’s there. My mother didn’t like my ability to sense things, she thought it was demonic or witchy, as she called it. I’m glad, thanks to HG’s work, that I know now what it is and it’s not evil. It’s ironic that my mother had a part in play, in making me the way I am. Ironic, indeed. Xx
Rebecca I was so moved by your story and recognize it so well. The “Yeah yeah miss know it all!” from mum. Even if I brought home top grades, or saved an animal, or such. Very confusing, not knowing what I had done wrong. So I began inventing stories in my head about where I wasn’t enough, in what department.
And as you say many times our radar is out on holiday, well put.
@Another Cat,
I’m glad you understand and relate to how my mother behaved, but I also feel bad that you’ve experienced it too. Xx
I try to just talk about her, when it serves a purpose of giving an example of behavior, as I talk about other narcs in my life, for the same purpose.
I got mostly A’s in school, the subject I struggled in was Mathematics, mainly because I found it boring. I found it more interesring , when formulas were added and it was more like Science charts and math had a mystery to solve….my interest grew and my grade went up. Math was boring with just numbers and no purpose, formulas were brought it and there was a purpose and mystery to solve. It became a puzzle to solve and I like digging for answers.
Anyway, my mother wasn’t a big math person, it wasn’t her subject, not her strength. My Dad, he was the math person. He could explain the advanced math to me, where it made sense and he explained it in a relatable way to me. Once it clicked, it became easier to solve for me. Math still isn’t my favorite subject. I preferred Science and History. I enjoyed genetics and working out the eye color charts. With Hiatory, I enjoyed the stories about people and how things started etc.
My mother wasn’t impressed with A’s, she had a fit, if I didn’t get an A in every subject. I can relate to HG, when he spoke about his mother’s reaction to his double degrees…..my mother was hard to please and didn’t like giving praise either. It most be a narc thing, the way they maintain control over you, by not congratulating you for your achievements. I guess it makes them feel powerful, by undermining your achieved goals. It’s why I feel the need to say, Congratulations HG, on your College Degrees and your continued achievements! Xx ❤️❤️
AspEmp,
Do you mean, Can a CoD Contagion Empath mistake the vibe of a CoD for the vibe of a Contagion??
Dear HG,
Please will you dissect, I mean analyse Jimmy Saville? If you have done so already please point me into the direction where I may read it.
When I look back on all the programs I watched as a child. Rolf Harris, Jim’ll Fix it… It makes me feel really sick to be honest. Would be great to see your analysis on Jimmy.
I concur. Saville got away with it for decades. So many victims tossed aside. I don’t think he would today but I wonder if HG gave an analysis we could learn how he got away with it for so long. He was a unique evil.
Dear Contagious,
We’ve only just finished watching it on Netflix …. O…..M……G 😱
Bubbles, I agree it was horrible. He even joked about getting caught. Noone noticed. He openly sexually assaulted a woman on top of the pops. It was awful. No words to his sickness and depravity. It is awful.
Dear Anna,
Exactly ! He literally flaunted and joked about it (“so many women and not enough time”) in front of everyone’s face. He kept ‘admitting’ how bad he was (narc trait) and everyone just laughed it off. He lead people to believe he was such good person because of all his charity fund raising and his volunteer work at the hospital. What a lovely kind generous selfless man, they must’ve thought.
I don’t remember hearing much about him Down Under, maybe a headline here once or twice. My impression at the time, was one of looking very creepy and coming across as a weirdo. I’m thinking Ebenezer Scrooge hehe
I was amazed at his celebrity status and everyone appeared scared and intimidated by him. He literally had them all twisted around his little finger? Unbelievable!
Again, we see that very ‘special bond’ his kind have their mother,‘The Duchess’, referring to her as his “only true love”. Reports say, he kept his mother’s clothes after she died and got his cleaner to take them out to get freshened once a year! WTH ? Also, he portrayed and utilised his religious persona to his advantage. It was also reported he stayed with her body 5 days after she passed. WTH ?
Unfortunately, the evil perverted sicko died before justice could be carried out and served. The irony of it all, he was publicly allowed to get away with it!
A definite must for the Tudorscope !
Anna and Bubbles,
Pardon me for stepping in here, excusee. …but, I have to say I’m not familiar with this guy. He definitely looks like he belongs in the Phantasm movies….what a creepy looking guy….I’d puke on him, if he tried to touch me. I feel bad for the people he abused and i’m glad for them, that he’s pushing up daisies now and died back in 2011. I’d like to see HG analyze him and roast him too.
HG,
Can you roast some of the people you already analyzed?? I think it’s fitting, analyze them, then roast them, sounds like tenderize them, then burn them! The laughs would be good for everyone! Xx
Dear Rebecca,
Please feel free to step in anytime lovely
This vile monster of gigantic abuse needs analysing, he was truly something else !
Quote, “ He preyed on the vulnerable, the young, the sick the emotionally disturbed, even the dead, over 6 decades. Yet his reputation remained untarnished until after his death. “
The importance and magnitude of his popularity at that time was overwhelming! There were massive red flags. He was basically untouchable. All the powers that be turned a blind eye!
@Dear Bubbles,
He sounds like another creep to me. Their manipulations and facades keep them under wraps with their crimes and dirty works. It seems like to me, over time, their real face comes through the mask, even when they smile….it’s there stirring around underneath….be interesting to find out what he is. I’m looking forward , to when HG does his analysis. Xx
Dear Rebecca,
He encompassed so many deficiencies and some. I’m not aware of the full extent of his mindset.
The dark triad personality perhaps ?
I had never seen him before the Netflix documentary, growing up here in the US. I have to say, from the looks in his eyes and his general presentation, that I can’t imagine how he got away with all of it, other than due to his proximity to power. His status coated him with ‘kindly eccentric’ glamour, covering over the patina of secret corpse fucker.
Dear Allison,
“His status coated him with ‘kindly eccentric’ glamour, covering over the patina of secret corpse fucker. “
Beautifully put, thank you Allison
Bubbles if you met jimmy saville on the street and he wasn’t famous wouldn’t you find him creepy or weird? It’s in his eyes….
Dear Contagious,
Hell yeah ! I actually didn’t know who he was when I first saw him on the news and I didn’t like him one bit. It’s only now I’m finding out about how famous he really was!
Rolf Harris was very popular here in Australia! Look how he turned out. ‘Jake the peg’ was definitely using that third leg! I always thought that children’s song was extremely inappropriate and creepy at the time.
Reminder to self, never stop believing in my own intuition
Hello H.G.,
After many years of non communication, my narcissistic ex started hoovering. They just go from one platform to another, Wassap or whatever she finds thinking she might be blocked. I am ignoring the texts, but I thought by now all this wounding from ignoring her would have her leave me alone by now. Why is narcissist being persistent when I’m not replying at all. This is not a recent escape, so i was not expecting this type of tenacity from narcissist. It’s been many many years actually without any communication. Why so strong, usually this type of Hoover is short lived if I ignore them. Thanks for your time and work!
Change your number, problem solved.
Ha if only
Hello, HG.
I had a question that follows on from one recently posted in a livestream. Someone asked “Are alcoholics narcissists?” and you said, “Not necessarily but they have strong narcissistic traits.”
So my question is, is it fair to say that narcissism and alcoholism have very striking similarities in the way they come about? A genetic predisposition…it’s known to run in families. An environment likely containing trauma, i.e., a lack of control environment. (Gabor Mate says the correlation between addiction and trauma is 100%).
And once it is formed, there is an absence of accountability, belief of indestructibility, .
Are the similarities greater than the differences?
Sincerely
Sam
Hello Sam, have you read Cheers! The Narcissist and Alcohol?
HG,
I watched a documentery on the JFK Assasination on Amazon recently, some interesting ideas of what happened. I suspect JFK was a narc, just by certain behaviors I read about him. Have you seen the documentary and what is your take on the theories of the assasination?? The documentary is called, ‘ JFK X SOLVING THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY’
Thanks for your time and replies HG. Xx
I just looked it up! Thanks, HG!
Mr. Tudor,
Would you consider our knowing and knowingly being in your presence a threat to your control? I’ve heard you say multiple times that the threat to control is why you would not tell your IPPS, but with those who know your work on narcissism…I’m sure your empaths would all do their best not to offend the master’s need for control. “Yes, Mr. Tudor.” “Immediately, Mr. Tudor.” “Thank you, Mr. Tudor.”
No.
Whilst one would ordinarily not convey this information, in the hypothetical example of meeting the Tudorites who know what I am, the issue of awareness (which ordinarily would not apply) is already done. Notwithstanding this, I would still find it a straight forward task to maintain control over those assembled, notwithstanding their understanding of what I am. Let us just say a combination of the presence of the Ultra combined with soaring ET levels will afford the ready achievement of control.
I think that we would mostly be extraordinarily excited and pleased. A little nervous, too. Picture it…100 empaths all assembled and waiting just for HG…the first stirring strains of the Imperial March playing as His Greatness comes onto the stage…All the animated heart-eyes and the hands raised and clasped as each empath eagerly waits their turn for a few moments to bask in HG’s radiance…then you tell us a tale (or several) of your brilliance and narcissism…we listen in rapt silence and at the edge of our seats…then we clap for at least an hour while you look over us.
Are you seriously considering it at the point when it would not risk causing issue with your other professions?
Thank you so much for your time. Always appreciated.
Dani,
Will there be a free bar do you think?
Xx
Excellent question…possibly…but with a limit…we can’t get sloshed and expect to be able to attend to Mr. Tudor’s prime aims as effectively…HG must be first. Priorities in order, TS. Priorities in order.
I would be like a little kid on Christmas, eyes bright and bouncing around all excited…my ET is soaring just thinking about it! Xx
“Let us just say a combination of the presence of the Ultra combined with soaring ET levels will afford the ready achievement of control.”
Yes. My god. Yes it would. My ever-present fantasy.
Can you please share your narrative about September 11th, 2001?
-Where were you when you first learned what was happening?
-How did you first hear about it?
-Who were you with?
-What were your initial thoughts, impressions, and opinions?
-What were your companion’s reactions?
What did you think about the way in which they reacted, and how did you respond to them?
-Was your life impacted from that day forward, and if so, what changes did it bring about? (e.g., at work, in school, or interpersonally)
-Did you find a way to use the incident to your advantage?
Any other details you would like to share that I haven’t inquired about?
Thank you so much! I look forward to hearing about your experience.
In a building.
Via an alert.
I was alone.
The necessity to gather more information.
N/A.
N/A.
It impacted professionally, I cannot disclose the detail.
Yes.
Thank you for sharing, sir. I’d love to know more about the answer to the last question.
Dani, I was thinking along the lines of comforting a girlfriend, or the opportunity to demonstrate empathy on a large scale.
But it’s possible it was advantageous professionally as well.
What did you have in mind?
Demonstrating empathy on a large scale? I’m not sure. HG has said many times that he prefers to move in the shadows, yet he is a best selling author on Amazon, top 10, in fiction and non-fiction under a synonym.
I’m intrigued by the ideas of ways in which it was advantageous to HG professionally. We know him to be a man of many and varied talents. It sounds like HG has a variety of business interests, and the ways in which someone would see through a terrorist attack to make money (I’m sure a number of the 1% of the world’s wealthiest found ways to increase their money found them) are likely varied.
In one of HG’s other jobs (which I’m guessing to be military/espionage related…) I can see that there would be a number of opportunities to advance through that kind of career in going new places…and doing dangerous things. That would appeal to HG’s psychopathy and avoiding the boredom. I’m sure HG can’t talk about those, but I’m certain he has some compelling tales he could tell of his harrowing encounters.
Dear HG,
I remember that day , the news was surreal and the footage looked like a Die Hard movie. Shocking!
Another memory, that was so shocking was watching the NASA shuttle blow up and those teachers inside it. I was in Elementary school at the time and was watching it LIVE. I still remember the shock and heartache. Xx
For 9/11 I was working as a teacher’s aide in an elementary school in Houston. After the second plane hit in New York, central administration shut down the public schools because all government buildings were viewed as possible targets.
I remember trying to walk a line between gathering the children and getting them home quickly without alarming them. They had so many questions I couldn’t speak about. Since this was before it was common for such young ones to have cell phones, I felt relief that almost none of them had seen the images. However, I was concerned because they could sense things were wrong, they were being sent home early in the day, and arriving parents were in various states of panic. Fortunately, I kicked into crisis mode and functioned adequately and so I was able to get them through it.
Houston is a major aviation hub, so things didn’t really sink in until all the air traffic over the US was suspended. The quiet skies are a bad memory.
Great job Allison, on keeping everyone calm, especially the children. What a surreal time. It was even more hit -to-home feel, when I saw all the burning ash in the air days later and the monument that was built, truly awe inspiring. Xx
Thank you for your support, Rebecca. I still go over and over my actions that day, trying to fix everything I didn’t do well. On occasion I have dreams about the children; they were so small, trusting and vulnerable. There was an absurd moment when they all looked like scrambling turtles because of their overfilled backpacks. The day was full of hundreds of small faces. Much of the rest of that school year is a blank; I can’t remember anything and some things I think I do ‘remember’ could not have happened at that school. I think about how they grew up, the adults they became. I appreciate your kindness, as always.
That must have been, what, 1630ish if you were in the UK’s time zone?
Did you pull an all-nighter that night?
I’m sure sleep was scarce for awhile thereafter; a nuisance that does not negatively impact your effectiveness, and is yet another advantage of your unique attributes.
Thank you for taking the time to answer, HG
There was a brief period of rejuvenation.
I do not see that this period of rejuvenation has ended yet. On the contrary, it seems you are infecting other people…
I suggest you re-read what was written as your comment makes no sense with regard to the original context.
HG, I was trying to pay you a compliment. No connection to the overarching topic intended.
Might have to take that back…
Chat GPT also works 24 hours a day! Maybe HG is a super form of AI!!
Just kidding HG… we do wonder with your super human skills.
Hi Leigh,
It does sound very much like the daughter ranks highly in this narc’s fuel matrix doesn’t it? Similarly though the demand to move house might just be a way of appearing distraught to gain fuel from the remaining IPPS, NISS’s and other tertiary sources that have to listen to her. “I’m so distraught, my husband won’t move to be close to our daughter” Devalues the IPPS and triangulates him with the friends to gain fuel and control from them too.
My mum didn’t suggest moving house when I went to Uni. She did however move closer to me when I moved to Bristol with work.
At uni I was required to call home three times per week at 8pm. I was supposed to return home for the weekend every 4 -6 weeks excluding holidays and occasions such as birthdays, Mother’s Day etc.
I remember one year, Mother’s Day weekend coincided with my boyfriend’s birthday weekend. I asked if I could come home for Mother’s Day the following weekend. My mum went nuts, a full barrage of accusation and abuse. This irritated me so I stayed for my boyfriend’s birthday and went home the following weekend as I had said. She didn’t speak to me for the entirety of the weekend. The gift was still unopened on the table as I left.
She also used to try to catch me out. I was in halls the first year and when you got a call from home it was announced via internal speaker together with your room number. My mum would call late at night or first thing in the morning ( to check I was in my room). If I missed a call I wouldn’t know unless the caller specifically left a message. Next time my mum called she would ask about the previous night trying to catch me out. Sometimes I just didn’t hear my room being called but this to my mum would equate to me lying and would result in accusations as to what I must be doing and who with.
A lot of that, monopolisation of time, zero respect for privacy which in honesty is what she was like when I was at home!
There were occasions where my mum appeared to demonstrate emotional empathy though. I made myself really ill one year due to exam stress. Started throwing up and a week later was so weak I couldn’t stand. My friend’s boyfriend called my mum and told her to collect me, I was really poorly and we couldn’t get a doctor to come out. She was there to collect me a few hours later, cried all the way home and just kept saying, “What did you do to yourself?”
The bad bit.
I had closed down emotionally from my mum around the age of 11 or 12. ( Unsure exactly but before we moved to a new house, I think I was 13 when we moved.) I went through the motions of a mother daughter relationship but there was nothing behind it, nothing substantial at least. So on those occasions where my mum did appear to show genuine emotional empathy -like with the recollection about my bedroom door- I found what she said to be really sad, heartbreaking at times but it didn’t change at all how I felt about her. There was still nothing there on my part. It’s a bit like watching a sad scene in a film, you might cry, you might find the scene heartbreaking but that doesn’t mean you have any feelings for the actor. It was like that. It was not possible for me to feel anything at all for her despite her apparent show of emotional empathy.
Knowing what I know now I have some form of explanation for that but, it’s not a behaviour I’m particularly proud of, it’s very cold, not consistent with who I am normally. Needs must I suppose.
Narcs. Pain in the ass.
Xx
Oh, that’s interesting, TS. I hadn’t thought that maybe she doesn’t really want to move and that she’s just using that as means to get fuel. Hmmm. That reminds me of how it all came about. She made that statement after the daughter texted her because she’s lonely and wanted to come back home. She doesn’t want her daughter to drop out of school so she says, I’ll move to you. She was probably future faking.
I closed down from my mom in my early teenage years as well. I blamed her for my father leaving and he left when I was 14. I know now it wasn’t her fault and it was because my father disengaged from her. But she’s still a narcissist herself so ANC is still the only option. I would often picked my boyfriend over her as well. In my head, I thought, she didn’t do for me, so why should I do for her. If I may, I don’t see it as coldness, I see it as eroded empathy. I see it as a natural progression because of how you were treated.
Yes, Narcs are a HUGE pain in the ass!
Hi Leigh,
Yes same here, I didn’t pay any attention to my mum’s assessment of my boyfriends. Perhaps I should have! Love of My Life Guy (narc)was on the scene when I was still half living at home. Best Sex Ever guy (narc) followed shortly afterwards and my mum had a lot to say about him too!
Coldness might be my version of eroded empathy. I’m not a big believer in eroded empathy in myself but I think that’s because I would see it as just an excuse for poor behaviour. I’m more likely to say, “I was a proper cow because I felt like it.“ rather than, “I was a proper cow because my empathy must have eroded.” More often I keep the ‘proper cow’ thoughts contained within my own head though so I suppose that would leave me with cold or detached as the only real option!
Yes that narc could be future faking. You’d never know. The only thing you do know is that she’ll say whatever is necessary to assert control over the listener and draw fuel within that moment. Other than that, the actual words are largely irrelevant. I used to pay attention to the words, try to make sense of it all, but I honestly don’t think we can. There’s just no real truth to it.
Xx
Hi TS,
Your story about your mom calling uni reminded me of my mother’s crazy antics. When I was real young, my younger brother would disappear. We still lived in the city at the time so he had to be younger than 8. My mother is an agoraphobic and does not go outside. So she would start by calling my father at the bar. If he didn’t come home to find my brother, she would call the police. I remember one time, she called my grandmother and she told her to call the police. I remember my mother saying, they won’t come. It happened so often, they stopped coming. After my father left and I started doing my own thing, she would do the same thing to me. I would get home and the police would be there. At some point they stopped coming also. I remember one time walking in the door and the cop asking me if I was doing drugs. I was like, no, I was with my boyfriend and mother’s insane. I think it was after that when they stopped coming.
I’m so damn nosy, TS. Sometimes I’m intrigued by the things they say and do. It blows my mind. When my co worker was telling me the story, I was thinking, “impulsive much?” For some reason, I have this need to understand how things operate. The understanding makes it clear for me. Then there’s no gray area. I need things in black and white sometimes.
I do understand what you mean about not wanting to blame your eroded empathy. If you’re cold and detached, its because you chose to be cold and detached. Blaming eroded empathy almost feels like a blame shift. But I don’t know if its that easy for us. I think our natural empathy is always there, its always on, until is isn’t. For me, it feels like they kept chipping away at my empathy until it was gone. Then once it was gone, it was easier to detach.
Hi Leigh,
Thinking about what you said about eroded empathy and Contagious’ comment that silence is a verb, my coldness and drawing in might be eroded empathy. I tend to see eroded empathy as being something demonstrative, like a loss of temper. With me, drawing in, coldness, detachment, whatever you want to call it is still a verb as Contagious points out. I’m actively responding by not responding. It’s like a silent treatment in some ways, just not a stroppy, look at me, narc style silent treatment.
It was my mum that lost it, shouted, jumped up and down. That was her thing, it wasn’t my thing. In some ways it was me demonstrating ‘I am nothing like you.’ In other ways it was done because turning cold, just looking at her as she got angrier and angrier made me feel like I was winning.
I didn’t feel ground down though. I don’t recall feeling chipped away at to the point where I then turned cold. I think it was more of a tactic. With her it was a tactic I took pleasure in. I think that bothers me a bit too. Other than my mum I turn cold then ship out. I don’t take any pleasure in it at all. Obviously with my mum I wasn’t able to ship out so that tactic was repeated, particularly as I entered my teens and I was physically taller and stronger.
Xx
Hi TS,
For me, eroded empathy means no impact. I don’t feel ground down either. I’m just done. I no longer care so there’s no anger either. There’s nothing. I’m not affected by what they say or do.
However, my savior or carrier may be triggered by someone I do have empathy for and it could be something the narcissist put into play. So if my narc husband is saying something demeaning to my daughter, I may get angry with him. Although, I’m getting better at that too. If I hear an altercation developing, I will text my daughter and tell her to walk away and don’t give him fuel.
I know what you mean about taking pleasure in some of the things we do to the narcs in our life. It’s kind of like our version of thought fuel. I was just saying that to Rebecca on a different thread.
The way I see it is you didn’t stop interacting to hurt your mom, you stopped to protect yourself. I guess we take pleasure in it because they’ve taken so much from us and it feels good when we draw a line in the sand and don’t let them take anymore from us.
Hi TS,
Something you said to Dani, triggered my thoughts here. You said, you can’t recall ever feeling any love for your mother, only obligation. I feel the exact same way. I only felt obligation for my mother, not love. That obligation used to anger me though. Now that the obligation is gone, I no longer feel angry. I haven’t seen my mother in nearly 4 years and have no intention of ever seeing her again. She lives in a nursing home so they take care of her. Phone calls are once a month or less and lasts 5 minutes or less. I feel no obligation to call her, she calls me. I’m not concerned about her well-being either. To me, that seems like eroded empathy because there’s indifference. I just assumed the cause of the indifference is from eroded empathy. Mr. Tudor uses the example of the woman in the store acting erratically because her card was just declined, her husband is sick and she just lost her job. So her empathy is eroded and that’s why she’s angry and acting erratic. Does eroded empathy always lead to anger? When I use my mom as an example, I feel no anger but I feel no empathy either.
Maybe I’m using the wrong terminology? Is it not eroded empathy but something else?
“I’m actively responding by not responding.” — I know exactly what you mean, TS.
Do you ever find that emotions from dealing with your mother catch up to you after leaving her presence? Like on the ride home or a few days later.
Hope all is going well for you!
Hi Dani,
No. There’s nothing. When I’m around my mum it’s because I’m there to see my dad. So my focus is on him and what he has to say. My mum just distracts from the conversation I have with him and that will happen to a lesser or greater extent depending on the day.
Occasionally she’ll come out with something funny, there my laugh will be genuine, but other than that it’s a case of going through the motions. I’m not interested in what she has to say other than from an intellectual standpoint in terms of what her narcissism is doing. I’m usually just waiting for her to finish what she’s saying so I can focus on my dad. I’m polite. That’s the best way to put it.
So when I leave, I don’t think about her, just my dad, what he has said during the visit. If she irritates me, it’s irritation there and then during the visit, she can irritate me to high heaven but again I let go of it afterwards, or shortly afterwards at worst.
No residual emotion in the time that follows. What I will say is that she is a bit like a volume dial on my already existing mood. So, if I was stressed about something before the visit, I might feel a bit more stressed after it. That’s the impact. She dials up any negative emotion that was there already. That’s the part I manage consciously. If I am having a bad week for whatever reason, if I’m worried about something, I don’t go to visit. She can’t create stress or worry in me though, so she can’t generate an emotional response, she can only dial up a pre existing emotional response. That’s probably just a touch of Cross Pollution.
I think she occasionally just drains me a little. A bit like powering a shield. If I’m at full power no problem, shield is fully up, she’s irrelevant. If I’m not on full power it drains me a little to maintain the shield, so I can then feel more drained after, therefore less able to deal with the original stress or worry.
I’ve just been round to visit this morning actually. I was there for two hours roughly. My shield was up, now it’s down again, no residual emotion of any kind, no draining.
I’ve felt this way pretty much for as long as I can remember. I can’t really recall feeling any real love for my mum, only obligation. I have felt guilt about that in the past. I don’t feel guilt about it now. The NDC and How To Handle a Parental Narcissist package sorted the guilt aspect for me. I sometimes question whether the capacity to detach makes me a nice person, but I don’t feel guilty for my treatment of my mum if that makes sense? There’s a difference.
Xx
Yes Leigh, very similar to what you describe here. I’m very vigilant when my mum is over and my children are there. My son is completely oblivious to my mum, he doesn’t see the manipulations that I do and in many ways, of the two grandchildren he is the golden child. My daughter definitely sees it all, particularly lack of boundary recognition, privacy invasion, interrupting and monologuing. She comments on those most often just using different descriptors. I laughed at you texting your daughter instructing not to give fuel. I can see you doing that haha!
I don’t think I’ve ever consciously drawn a line in the sand. For me, it’s more like the flick of a switch that is done for me not by me.
Mum was different, no option to go and there was more of a decision not to confide, not to tell anything that would only be used against me later, not to show she was getting to me. Let her get riled, let her lose it, nothing to do with me! When you don’t give anything of yourself, slowly but surely the relationship just dies out. Again that second part was more like a switch going down but less sudden than it was with the first two narc romantic relationships.
So I don’t think I have ever really drawn a line in the sand, experienced a Supernova event, or a cliff fightback. I just deal with what presents itself in my own way which is usually just to shut up shop and when you can, ship out.
Xx
TS,
I may go down a rabbit hole, lol. I wasn’t consciously aware of drawing a line in the sand either. I’m only considering that now in retrospect. Although, I do like how you describe it as a flicking a switch. That’s how it was with my dad. He left when I was 14. One day, I walked into my house and there he was standing in front of me. It was years later. He tried to say something to me and I told him to go eff himself. Except I didn’t say eff, lol. I never let him back in. The relationship died when he left. When my father actually did die, I hadn’t talked to him or seen him in years. With my mother and my narc husband, it was different. It was more of a dimming down effect until it was completely off. My natural empathy for them is gone.
I also had another thought about Mr. Tudor’s example of the woman in the shop. Her empathy was eroded for the shopkeeper. If I also consider Will Smith, his empathy was eroded for Chris Rock, not Jada. For me, its different. My empathy for others isn’t eroded. Its only eroded for my narc mother and narc husband. I still care and want to help others. I just don’t care or want to help them. Your description of the relationship just dies out, is exactly how it feels for me as well.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a Supernova event either. I’ve had at least 3 cliff fightbacks though.
I really appreciate your thoughts here, TS. You often help clear things up for me. Thank you for that.
Hey Leigh,
I think it depends very much on your empathic and narcissistic traits plus the relationship between them when estimating how empathy erosion would show itself.
So as an example but without too much detail. My strongest narcissistic traits are pride and vanity. So those will fire first. Those are fairly defensive traits, they relate to my view of my self ( so I’m pretty self centred then haha). I’m hard to criticise because those traits will feed in to things like confidence etc. Anger is my weakest trait it’s noticeably weak at 4%. So you will have your work cut out getting me to show anger. Defiance comes in as a higher one. Again, with defiance I’m just going to dig deep now and hold position. So in my interactions with my mum (LMR Somatic) the moves she makes will bounce off some of those traits to a degree. Her moves are obvious, there’s no subtlety, no getting under my skin as some narcs would be able to do.
Secondly, there’s a sizeable percentage difference between my empathic and narcissistic trait percentages. My empathic traits hold a very long time before my narcy traits start to get exposed. So my empathy doesn’t erode easily or often at all. That’s not to say I don’t see the game, I very much see the game being played but you won’t see that reflected in my behaviour. I am a duck. I look great in a pond, but there’s a lot going on beneath the surface! I think that might be my best ever analogy to be fair. (Pride).
So I think perhaps we both are talking about eroded empathy to an extent, but the rate at which the empathy erodes and the way it shows itself eroding is likely different for each individual.
In terms of love and obligation. I have tried to go way back in my memories and pull a memory that suggests love for my mum. I remember being nervous about going into school one day because it was cutting out day and my teacher had told me off for cutting out too far within the line. My shape was smaller than everyone else’s haha! My mum is holding my hand, I can hear the cars pulling up as we run up the pathway to school, I can see the steps and a different teacher standing at the top. My mum is singing. “Run rabbit run rabbit run run run, run to the school and have fun fun fun.” Technically it’s a cute memory but I have no emotional code for it. That might be that there was never an emotional code for that memory, or there once was but post my emotional detachment it has now gone. I don’t have an answer for that.
Logically, I think detachment likely follows the impact of an external stressor, abuse being one of the greatest external stressors. There are certain triggers I know that will make me draw in and cease interacting with someone in a friendship too. I am unsure though as to whether empathy needs to erode in order to be able to detach. It might just be the stressor that can flick the detachment switch ahead of empathy eroding.
Xx
Hi Leigh,
Yes, very similar to how you describe a rapid detachment from your dad versus slower with your mum.
My fastest detachment was from Best Sex Ever Guy. He’s actually a good example. He was 18 yrs older than me. My career was taking off, I was travelling a lot and there was no sign of that changing for the foreseeable future. I was going away on a six month secondment so I had actually had a real long hard think about whether I was prepared to fly to and fro to see him, whether the distance would break the relationship within the six months, whether essentially it was worth continuing the relationship at all. I had concluded that it was, so I was committed to making it work. I was still safely ensconced in the golden period at this point.
When I left for the secondment I had asked that we leave it a few weeks before I flew back for a weekend visit. I needed to get my feet under the table, needed to make friends and slot in to the ex pat ‘work together, socialise together’ routine. He agreed.
A week later he showed up at my office, uninvited, requesting to see me with a weeks worth of clothes and a massive bouquet of roses. So he ignored the agreement, he ignored my needs, he ignored my career, and he put himself and his needs first.
The switch went down instantly.
I think perhaps fast or slow detachment depends on more than one factor. It includes things like your ability to leave, what other external stressors are in play at the same time (new job, new country, new people, no friends and family) and whether they step directly on a trigger or if they have enough narc craft to be able to skirt round the edges of a trigger without it tripping.
Yes, I’m the same, if my empathy does erode then the narcy traits are almost always directed at one person. Only on one single occasion that I can remember have I targeted a group. At that point I was utterly exhausted and had multiple stressors all running at the same time and over a prolonged period. On that occasion my anger did trigger and I had no control over it at all ( not used to getting angry). Everyone shrank from me. My partner said later “You lit up the room.” Very specific set of circumstances that just mixed together to result in that anger being accessed. You couldn’t re create that mix of stressors so it’s unlikely I’ll ever light up a room again haha! Oh well.
I agree, I have sympathy for Will Smith and none for Harry. That’s because Harry blanket targets and is an eternal victim, Will does not. I can relate to one and not the other.
Glad to help get things straighter in your mind, I think the discussion has also helped me to get things straight as to how I operate!
Xx
Thank you, TS! Yes, that’s exactly it.
It’s about my ability to detach. I had a bit of a mental block there for a minute. Lol!
With my father, detachment and lack of empathy happened swiftly. With my mom and husband it took longer because the sustained abuse wasn’t obvious.
I agree that just because you detach, doesn’t mean the empathy is eroded. I’ve detached from other narcs and people in general but that doesn’t mean the empathy is gone. Thank you for helping me see that.
I had to chuckle, my strongest narc traits are pride and vanity too. Anger, defiance and infidelity are up there too. My pride and anger used to get triggered a lot. Mayne it’s age but my anger doesn’t get triggered as often anymore.
Your quick detachment from Best Sex Ever Guy is similar to how it was for me with workplace narc. I was having surgery and he stopped talking to me a week before and didn’t reach out to me after the surgery either. He came back around almost two weeks after the surgery. When he did, I told him to go eff himself. Interesting though, I still had empathy for him but I completely detached.
I can totally relate to you not having an emotional code even for the sweet memories. I don’t have much from my childhood either. The only positive feelings I have from my childhood is the need to protect my older, disabled brother. Sometimes I try to delve deep into my childhood but I often come up empty handed. Some things are probably better left buried.
Thank you again, TS!
Leigh,
I have to say, this is what I mean about the Geysers, I love them. I love the spirit and the fire of it. On the one hand you could say telling the narc to go eff himself just gave fuel, but on the other, you have to say there was a release, a satisfaction at firing those words off. I’d love to have seen that scene! Sometimes I think the occasional outburst can cause the empath to self fuel, light themselves back up, even feel powerful. I don’t ever get that. I don’t lose it even though I might really want to. It isn’t that I’m not angry, I am angry, I just have such a hold on it, I don’t just say “Bollocks to it, enough, have this.” I just starve people out. That’s how it feels, starving someone out.
I might go and get some plates from a car boot sale and practice throwing them at the wall. Problem is I’m so tidy it would take me ages to clean up afterwards!
Help. Me.
Haha!
Ooh, on a positive note, my daughter got her first boyfriend. His name is Seb, they have been friends for a year and just started dating. She told me, “ Well, I’m wifed up. Seb finally asked me to be his girlfriend.”
I love Seb, he’s a gentle soul and somehow he manages to handle her really well. She’s firey but he manages to diffuse her through teasing her. She says he’ll cover her mouth and say, “Now, that’s enough from you little lady!” Not in a narc controlling way, just in a playful unaffected kind of way. He’s good for her, Im glad she has someone kind and funny to show her what an arse her online narc was. She livens him up, he calms her down, it’s lovely to see.
Xx
Hi TS,
I really, really love my Geyser. The release of emotions just makes me feel better and even though it feeds them, sometimes its worth it. I had to chuckle about the plates and cleaning them up afterwards. Me too! Then that would anger me more. Its a vicious cycle, lol!
I’ve been reading your conversation with Dani on the empath thread and my Geyser is one of those things that I’ve learned to adapt now that I have self awareness. I think with age, wisdom and self awareness, I’m able to react less and respond more. Sometimes I do still need to erupt but its becoming less and less.
I wanted to comment on your conversation with Rebecca on the Savior thread also. I promise I’m not stalking you, lol! That “your place” comment would’ve hit me the same as it hit you. You and I are very similar in that we’re not romantic or love devotees. But that comment comes off as incredibly sweet and that’s why I would’ve fell for it. Workplace narc would say things like that too. He knew that my husband and I don’t travel because victim narc doesn’t leave the house. One day he said to me, “I wish I could show you the world.” Fucking asshole! Sorry, my Geyser needed to release, lol. Its was those things that made me fall for him because it meant he was listening. They really are con artists.
On to more happy things. Yay! I’m so happy to hear about your daughter and her new boyfriend. He sounds very nice. Its good that they were friends first. And yes, she’ll definitely see how her online narc was not good at all. “Wifed up”, that made me chuckle. Today’s slang cracks me up!
I know about coldness. Silence is a verb. You tell her something great that’s happening. Silence. If things are troublesome, she can’t wait to engage. My mother is a New England WASP type. Conservative. Proper. I haven’t done a narc detector. My father was a total empath. I take after him. It’s hard to tell at times if we are just opposites politically, socially, dress, outlook, raising kids or if she is a narc. She is reserved, cold, conservative, proper, yet she can be generous too and speaks of love and her actions can match her words. Must admit I don’t want to take a test in her because I love her. We are physically 3000 miles apart and have been since I was 18 as I moved for school, then stayed job and family so most of my life has been apart. Sometimes I wonder if I did it to be free….
I can understand that Contagion. So many women have difficult relationships with their mothers that I kind of just thought, “ I don’t get on with my mum.” That’s it. Nothing more to say on it.
In some ways the NDC on her was irrelevant, The relationship was dead anyway, emotionally dead from my side. That was never going to change regardless of the result, I just didn’t have it in me at all. The thought of spending one on one time just stressed me out but not in an anxious way, in a stubborn / angry / ‘don’t want to’ kind of way.
What the NDC did was explain to me why I didn’t have it in me. Why I didn’t want to try. Why I wasn’t a bad daughter for not making more effort. I suppose it explained my natural response back to me. I knew how I felt, just not why I felt it.
My view is that it’s better to know. I do get why you might not want to take it. A narc result would feel like an end, no possibility for a relationship that most would wish they had. It closes the door.
Only you can answer that. What’s right for one person isn’t right for another. You’re likely already in ANC through circumstance. It’s not always about understanding them, it’s about understanding us too. That’s far more important in my view. I understand myself better these days.
Xx
Hi Contagious,
When and if you’re ready, is when you’ll do the detector for your mother. You’ve distanced yourself. Maybe that’s enough for now.
Leigh, Contagion, and TS,
I just thought my relationship with my mother was a rocky one, we didn’t get along and understand each other….was putting it mildly. I heard a lot of my classmates had similiar issues with their parents, so I didn’t think my case was different. I thought most people got the same treatment from their mother.
I pulled away from her, emotionally, physically and financially in my early 20’s….living at the dorms with friends, paying for my classes myself and working part time. I had a full schedule and avoiding her lot. She hated it, as you can imagine and would try pity plays on me. I was glad to be away from her. I didn’t feel good about it, because I missed my dad, but I noticed I was able to handle more stress without her so much a part of my daily life. I didn’t understand she was a LMRV narc and I was her NISS, when Dad was away, I changed to NIPS. My brother was a psychopath, so she preferred my emotional reactions to his bored responses. I know I got away from her, for 2 reasons, 1) Being around her was making me snap too often 2) My life was moving on without her being in my plans. I recognized being around her wasn’t good for me. She didn’t want to let me go. She didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t her life, it was mine. Xx
Its interesting how we all pulled away from our mothers in some way even before we knew about narcissism. I knew my mother was unhealthy and I just needed to get away.
@Leigh,
I just got tired of fighting with my mother and her using my feelings towards my Dad against me. I also knew she was bad for my mental health and I walked on eggshells around her, that’s what I remember most, the living on the edge of her knife….any minute could set her off. I had a sense of freedom, living at the dorms, not in the sense as other students, first time away from home….mine was more like, finally…no more fighting and I can sleep in peace….so nice…xx
It’s interesting but I never had to walk on eggshells with my mom. She liked my outbursts. Plus she needed me to take charge. She couldn’t take care of herself and after my Dad left she needed me to take the reins. My mother is more draining. Although she would anger me also. I didn’t care if I something I said bothered her. I had no respect for her at all.
@Leigh,
I think I was more, when I lived with her, more concerned trying to “keep the peace” and fixing fights and my mom exaggerated her health problems, she wasn’t that sick to where I had to take care of her. She was strong and capable at home, but she pretended to be weak out in public. She had diabetes, that was real, but she didn’t take care of it, like she knew to do. She was a LPN, she knew better. She just used it to her full advantage to get sympathy and for people to do for her. Her health did eventually take a downward spiral, but I had already moved out by then and her health went down afterwards, because that’s what happens when she didn’t follow a diabetic diet, take her insulins correctly and just make an effort to do the right things for her health. She didn’t, the diabetes got worse and she died from diabetes related complications. It sounds cold, but she did it to herself and she tried to make me feel responsible for it. I was long out of the house and away from her, when all this went down. I had lowered my exposure to her, at this point and she tried roping me back in by smearing me to my mother in law and calling me about my Dad needing me for something. I would help her here and there, but would leave after an hour or so. I did detach from her, I needed to, she was very toxic to me and I had enough of her pity plays. I used to feel bad about it, but I realize now, it was the best thing for me to do for myself. Xx
We had some terrible mothers, Rebecca. You don’t sound cold to me. You did what you had to in order to protect yourself. I put my mother is a nursing when she was 65. You needed to detach. It definitely was something you needed to do.
Hi Rebecca,
I thought I had responded to this comment but maybe I forgot to hit send, lol!
I don’t think you sound cold. I know how you feel. Out parents (and my narc husband) play victim but make no attempt to become healthy.
When you detached from your mother you did what you had to do to protect yourself. I totally get it!
It’s OK that you don’t feel bad. I put my mom in a nursing home at 65 and I have no regret about that at all.
@Leigh,
I got reply in stero surround 🤣🤣xx
Thanks, that’s the thing with our mothers, they lived for the guilt trips, except by the time I moved out, I blew off her petty plays manipulations….the only thing that bugged me, was when she would cry to my mother in law about how i neglected her and wouldn’t do for her, so i felt the need to explain myself to my mother in law. My mother in law came at me with, “why won’t you help your mother?” It really pissed me off because i knew the games my mother would play with putting other people against me. Her smear campaigns and triangulations….so used to it, but they still pissed me off. Sometimes i felt like strangling her, she would piss me off so bad sometimes. I just had to keep my distance.
It’s funny, Leigh, but i did get some validation from my mother trying to put my mother in law against me. She had told my mother in law that i hated kids and that’s why I didn’t have any….she told her, I neglected her….my mother in law went over to my mother’s house and cleaned it out, while she was in the doctor’s office. My brother had let her in, he was living at home at this point…just to point that out…she cleaned her house, threw away, what she thought was trash. I’m trying not to laugh, because when my mother got home…..she had a fit, what my mother in law threw away, she needed, paperwork etc….my mother in law already went home, by the time my mother came home. My mother called me and was furious! How dare that woman, my mother in law, touch her things, throw out her stuff, how dare she come in her house while she was gone! She called me for about a week, yelling about things that were missing….I told her, next time don’t whine about how no one helps you around the house and crying about the mess you have to deal with. She believed your bs and took it upon herself to help you out. You got what you wanted, dont complain now. Do you want her over again? Stop complaining and thanks, mother for telling her I hate kids. I really appreciated you lying to her. What was that all about?
She told me, she lied about me hating kids because she didn’t want me with someone with kids. She said, I don’t need to be associated with him and his family. It’s like she was trying to look like mother of the year, after her lies and manipulations, she acted like I was too good for him. Xx
Rebecca,
This comment had me laughing my ass off. That was two narcissists colliding, for sure!
@Leigh,
It’s funny that you say that , because I have oftened wondered if my mother in law was a narcissist. She just passed away last year, but she did show some indicators. I just thought it was great that my mother was so furious because her manipulations backfired on her. She was fuming for about a week or two, every time she noticed something else missing, she’d go off again. 😄 The funnier thing is, she did it to herself, I had no part in it at all. Oh, damn, but it was funny. 🤣😁
One incident with my mother in law, that stands out to me. MLSomatic and I were living in my apartment at the time and I was off of work for a bank holiday and MLSomatic’s work was off too, so we were relaxing at home during the week. My mother in law, took it upon herself to get my stepkids from their mother, on an unscheduled visit time….she arrived on our back, inclosed porch, with the kids, banging on the back door….not only did she just walk in, on our inclosed porch, but demanded we take the kids. I didn’t play her game, learned it from dealing with my mother…..I left her banging on the door. We just had the kids for 3 days before this day, we were taking a day for ourselves. She was the one, who picked them up again, she can spend time with them. She came over unannounced and like I said, we had just spent 3 days with the kids, so it’s not like we ignored them and didn’t spend time with them. She eventually left, with the kids and she didn’t do that again. It probably wounded her, or she thought we weren’t home. Who knows. Xx
@Leigh,
I meant to mention that back then I didn’t call them narcissist, I called them manipulators and I suspected my mother in law was one, good to see you see it too. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
LOL! I’m probably not supposed to make those assumptions based on one or two events but those are some serious boundary transgressions. She shouldn’t have went to your mother’s home and gone through her personal belongings. I’m laughing my ass off because who does that? The size of their ball are tremendous.
I love the way you handled the situation when she came to your house unannounced. Whenever my husband’s family comes over unannounced, I make him handle it They’re incredibly intrusive. I think ignoring it is much better.
Hi Leigh and TS,
I hope you don’t mind me adding a little comment here. Xx
I have a good amount of geyser and I just wanted to say, when I get good and angry, and the person is being an ass to me, I do feel better having released my remark back to them. It feels good to release the anger and I feel satisfied that I spoke my truth and my feelings. Just releasing it feels like letting out the pressure. I think they look forward to my explosions, but at that point I don’t care about giving fuel, it benefits my mental health releasing it, instead of repressing it and holding it in. Xx
Why did I think of an exploding steam pressure pan when I read your comment, Rebecca ?
(made me smile though as I can totally relate / understand – thank you for that)x
Rebecca,
Yes, from a mental health perspective, letting fly I think likely has real benefits. No therapist advises people to repress their feelings do they? It likely is a far healthier approach.
There’s an honesty to it too. You would always know exactly where you stand with a Geyser, for better or worse.
Xx
Rebecca,
Your comments are always welcome!
I love my geyser too. Even though the narcs may get fuel from it, I don’t care because once I release, I feel a hundred times better.
AspEmp,
🤣🤣❤️ That would be pretty accurate! 🤣😁
My Dad had a nickname for me, when I’d go off on my brother. He called me, his little dynamite! 🤣😁
My husband thinks I seem more like a little Tasmanian Devil, calls me after Taz from the WB cartoons. 😁 But, when I’m speaking, you can clearly hear my words. 🤣😁xx
My Dad would say, that’s a lot of temper from a little package. ❤️ He was funny, my Dad. Xx
AspEmp, thanks for telling me that, means a lot. Xx
I remember when I first came here and I was so angry and hurt, you related so much to how I felt. It was a huge comfort. Thank you xx
Hi, HG. Thank you for your work. I have a question about narc on narc action! I know that empaths are the primary target for narcissists. But it doesn’t make sense to me why narcissists sometimes marry. Wouldn’t another narcissist be impossible to control? Why would narcissists hook up, when empaths are available?
Thanks!
1. They may not know that the other is a narcissist and initially they may present as empath like.
2. Narcissistic Cementation can occur where the narcissists do have clashes but essentially the dynamic serves both narcissists´purposes.
Thanks, HG. This would be an interesting subject for a video!
I agree, Sam. I’d like to hear more about narcissistic cementation.
Thank you, HG. The video you posted was excellent. My question is fully answered!
Jolly good.
Hi Mr. Tudor,
So took a test and saw the results and all I gotta say is damn!!! Mind blown. Your test really helped me fuse a bunch of things in my empath psyche and it’s like I get it now. Your test confirmed a bunch of things about myself that I wasn’t sure on at the time. I always had an inkling of what I turned into along the way in this weird journey I had in life as an empathic personality. I say this because, throughout my life I traveled in many circles met many people, got tested too many times by getting backed up into the proverbial wall in realm of conflict, (in whatever I was doing) actually bought the book, Sun tzu’s The art of war as to how to deal with these factors, learned to just help people (If I wasn’t going to fear the ramifications of my interactions or blindly rushing in to help someone if the situation was just ridiculous, unwarranted etc. ), put people in the thumbscrews if needed if they wanted to pick a fight with me and I had to confront them if there wasn’t an out for me, backed me into a wall etc. ran into a bunch of varying degrees of narcissist (Figured this out from the understanding of your work). It has helped me at the start of a new journey I may soon embark on. I mean yeah, I know I got stuff to work on, but your test actually assured me in a way that, I may haven’t gotten things perfectly, but for the circumstances I gotta face now, I’m doing alright and too be able to function in a world I may soon enter in with stuff I gotta work on and do better with. Alright, so know I am rambling here, but seriously thanks again, and wow. Jalleh
Hi Mr. Tudor,
Thanks for your response in regard to my inquiry about Elizabeth Bathory. Got an interesting read for you and curious what you think?
Jalleh
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Elizabeth-Bathory
I read about this. The woman who supposedly bathed in the blood of virgins to retain her youth. Horrific.
There was a scene in one of the Hostel sequels where a woman does this.
Horrid. Yes the world is indeed very wicked indeed!
Would be interesting to hear HG’s view of this woman.
Many of her purported exploits have been exaggerated via the historical telephone game. The bathing in blood mental image, in particular, is a bit misleading. But she’d love that, if she’s looking up from any of the Abrahamic Hellscapes. She was batshit, beyond a shadow of doubt, and sadistic through-and-through, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a lot of mythology surrounding Erszebet. Narcissists love that shiz, of course. If ghosts exist, her story is the kind that would leave a lingering spiritual impression in the world. It’d be fascinating to hear HG’s take on her.
Loke, maybe a narcissist becomes a poltergeist if ghosts exist. I can imagine their fury. Smashing things around. Causing mayhem. It fits.
HG,
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-13/#comment-449337 https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-13/#comment-449323
I agree, I think it would be a great visual as people may be able to have that in their mind as they listen to videos ie ‘The Ultra Framework’; ‘What is Narcissism’ ‘Is Narcissism On A Spectrum?’.
And it may give you ‘live’ updates as you process further NDCs EDCs etc in the future. Would you consider applying similar pie charts for TDCs, WDCs?
Thank you.
Potentially
Dear HG, Dani and AspEmp,
I think it would help those viewers who may need visual charts to understand things better, or it may just add more interest to a new viewer to be curious about….well worth doing HG, i really hope you include the charts in your work and thanks Dani for putting it on the table and thanks AspEmp for the support of the idea. Thanks HG, for thinking on it. I hope qgain, it becomes more than just a thought. Xx ❤️❤️
Thank you for your backing, Rebecca 🙂
You’re very welcome AspEmp xx
Dear HG,
Can you put Lady Gaga under the Tudorscope?? Please xx ❤️❤️
It could also be interesting to see a similar breakdown of those empaths with majority schools and which sort of weaponized they tend to become. Does the standard become one and the super empath another.
Dear Mr Tudor,
So glad you covered HW Kids or Portugal ? on YT
How often were your parents there for you and your siblings ? Were you sent to boarding school ?
I did not attend boarding school.
Can you write an article on trauma bonding?
Part of the addiction as already explained.
At what point would a narcissist seek recovery and get sober from substance abuse? Wouldn’t those programs pose a threat to control?
Not where the attainment of sobriety would allow an assertion of control, the drawing of fuel and access to certain residual benefits.
HG,
A good example would be why MLSOMATIC decided to finally go to rehab and get sober, thinking he can keep me, due to his soberity, and get fuel from people being impressed with him being sober, the oohs and ahhs, and then the benefits of gaining the adorations from others and me staying with him because I was fooled by him getting sober for the longest time. He went to rehab in 2017 and he’s been miraculously sober ever since….after being an alcoholic since the age of 20. The control, the fuel and the benefits he gained just from getting sober…and me being fooled by it all. Xx
I dated a sober narcissist back in the day. (I only recently understood that he must have been a narc). He went for AA meetings and such. Nagged his friends about not being thruthful to themselves.
I excused his temper and quite sexual jokes with that it’s probably not easy being so fun, creative and outgoing. He was too much though and made me look funny/foolish too many times. I am also very careful when I speak to people and he collided too much with that.
I remember wondering why I felt like an addict even though I don’t smoke or drink or gamble.
Two decades later I found HG’s work, and now I know what I am addicted to. People who don’t treat me so well.
Another Cat: 🫂
Thank you Annaamel!
Mr. Tudor–
1. Does whether a narcissist (who achieves fame) had a childhood spent as the golden child or the scapegoat play a role in how they will behave generally upon achieving fame?
2. Is a golden child more likely to think, “I know better than my PR specialist” than narcissists from abusive situations? (Or is that more related to cognitive function?)
3. Does a golden child typically have less desire to put in the work that the fame game requires than other narcissists who achieve fame?
4. Does the golden child typically become a different school of narcissist than those who endure what society more readily recognizes as a lack of control environment, i.e. beatings, sexual abuse, verbal abuse?
5. Is it more the environment that a narcissist is raised in that affects how hard the narcissist is willing to work or more the school or more the level of fame/infamy they achieve in a relatively short time span?
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.
Dani
1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. Yes.
4. No.
5. The school.
Fascinating. Thank you so much, Mr. Tudor. Much appreciated.
Mr. Tudor–
Thank you so much for having premieres and times posted early in the day. It’s really thoughtful of you to have the schedule for when they will be posted some hours in advance. People only need to go to your main YouTube page to check what’s coming up most days.
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.
Dani
Hi Dani,
I appreciate it too, because YT can’t be counted on to send notifications. I like that HG heads off their bs and beats them at their own game. 😆 They do seem to not notify members. It’s good to see you, glad you’re here, Dani. Xx
I’m glad you’re here, too, Rebecca. Are you Rebecca over on YouTube, too, in the chats? And YouTube can’t be counted on…but it’s easy to go and see what’s posted on HG’s main YouTube channel page.
Hi Dani,
Yes, I’m the same Rebecca on livechats and the blog xx I check HG’S YT channel and blog every day for new videos, articles and blog comments. I like how HG now has a set schedule on his YT channel, where viewers can usually count on a livechat at 8am EST and others follower on an hourly basis, usually….I try to catch the livechat at 8am EST because it’s around my break at work, but some days I’m too busy and can’t catch it. I just watch them after work. I love it when I’m off and I can have a HG morning and afternoon. ❤️ Hope you’re well and good to see you. Xx
I usually can’t participate in the chats, owing to my work schedule, but I’m present for all the premieres that I can be. And yes! Days off that allow for a morning and afternoon of Ultra content is spectacular…I loved the interviews yesterday…time just melts away when I’m listening to those.
Hi H.G. Is it fair to say all narcissists have a dark hidden nefarious side to them? In other words do all of them engage in dark hidden activities one has no idea of and will never know?
Is it a fair assessment to say it’s always dangerous to be the IPPS of a narcissist, do they all have the potential to hurt you besides domestic abuse?
Yes, although there are degrees of darkness, for some it might just be eating somebody else’s chocolate whilst listening to Celine Dion.
The IPPS will always be hurt in some way by a narcissist because they will always be devalued.
“…eating somebody else’s chocolate whilst listening to Celine Dion.”
Good God, Mr. Tudor. I had no idea you could devise such hellish images.
I’m just getting started…..
HG,
Do we need to put on protection and use a shield?? Is this going to involve mud and shovels?? 🤣xx
Dear HG,
I like the chocolate reference here 😆❤️❤️xx
Hi! There are many conspiracies about Oprah. This is true. She supported and did a special on John the God in Brazil. He was charged with being a con, rape among other misdeeds. Silence. She has a school in Africa which has come under attack for mistreatment of the girls. Relative silence. Sound of Freedom came out. No one has championed it really but Denzel Washington, Mel Gibson and its star Jim Carviezal. You would expect her to. My theory aligns with Whitney Webb who claims there was a cover up on finial affairs of celebs and politics s and others as many engaged in getting financial advice from him that involved hiding wealth and reaping gains from arms deals and trafficking. Many didn’t know but just held their nose or looked away to reap the fortune. I think Oprah knew from reports about john th god and her school but rather than diving in and fixing anything. She chose herself. Looks away. Says nothing.
Hi H.G. Why do some narcissists only date people of a specific ethnic or racial group? This somatic narcissist is Swedish and only date people of color. 1) Is it to gain fuel from family and society? Provocation. 2) easier to manipulate and control ? 3) also why would a very attractive and fit somatic only date non attractive partners? Is it less competition since she always have to be better looking? Thanks so much for your work !
It will be done for the purposes of the Prime Aims like every interaction a narcissist has with other people.
1. The provocation caused by people reacting to this may well produce greater fuel than dating someone of the same ethnic group.
2. It may allow easier control.
3. See “Why Does the Narcissist Downgrade”
@MJ
One of the narcs I was with was raised as an Hasidic Jew in England. His mother was an English convert and his father was a Polish/German Jew.
He claimed he was not Jewish, he decided he didn’t want to be jewish, he did not want to marry a Jewish woman or have Jewish children (Jewish identity is matrilineal)
After HG told me he was a narc and I learnt about narcissism, I realised he was motivated by the fuel he got from provoking his orthodox Jewish family and from triangulating his non-Jewish girlfriends with his family.
Hypocritically he also had an Israeli passport and he went on a date with a Jewish woman while he was with me and he said he did the same thing to his ex (went on dates with Jewish women while he was in a relationship with her) he claimed it was to appease his sister who was insisting that he marry a Jewish woman.
But really it was because I was being devalued and he was triangulating me with his sister and another woman. So it was my fault for not being Jewish while simultaneously he wouldn’t want to be with me if I was Jewish
Hi witch: funny how narcs and psychopaths quickly abandon their religion. My ASPD claimed he had an epiphany to Christianity when I told him I could never raise my children in another faith. He was Jewish. But when we got divorced 7 years later, he was anti-Christian. Upsetting me by hurling insults at Jesus during fights . And telling a judge at a custody hearing lewdly that “ I could get in my knees in front of Jesus.” It backfired as the judge was a Cuban Catholic and looked Sick at his remarks. I guess narcissism trumps faith in most instances like yours and mine.
This has got me thinking of a new article… “how the narcissist weaponises forbidden love”
HG, if we emailed you when you were gone and got an automatic “away” response, does it mean 1) you never got the email, or 2) you got it, and may or may not respond? Thank you.
All emails that received an automated reply were received, whether they will be responded to depends on other factors.
Indeed, this is very true.
HG, do you like the recommendations of films, music and programs that I send? Have you watched any of them?
Dexter is a very good series. I was very happy when Series/Season 9 came out.
To be fair, in modern times we are spoiled for choice.
I wish that Hollywood would remake the film “Gaslight” Great film, and very fitting to this blog, in general to society. A modern version would be wonderful. Wuthering heights as well.
I received a blast from the past Hoover from my narcissist ex yesterday. Today I was contacted by the wife, “ I’ve always wanted to ask you this, how did you know they were narcissistic”
I’ve never spoke to this person in my life so not sure how she knows I labeled them a narcissist.
HG what do u recommend one does in a situation where IPPS is asking questions about my relationship with narcissist?
Should I interact and share or would this put me in a dangerous situation and it’s best I also ignore her?
Interaction would be a breach of the no contact regimen.
Thanks H.G. So to be clear, interacting with the ex wife would also be a breach of no contact regime with the narcissist?
Yes, because you’re discussing the narcissist (Arena 4)
HG, I’ve been in touch with some former colleagues at my old school who gave me references when I was applying for my present job. It probably won’t surprise you to learn that Executive Dementor has found a new scapegoat, one of the most patient guys in the world. Even if he weren’t supporting a large family with at least 4 boys in the school and a caboose baby on the way (his wife is in her 40s, and since the school doesn’t offer benefits, obviously they’re going to need every penny in case there are complications), he’s unlikely to tell E-D where to get off. He knows it’s ridiculous, even told me he was glad that as long as E-D was annoying him, he wasn’t bothering anybody else, but it makes me sick that E-D is trying to pull this on someone he knows isn’t in a position to tell him where to stick his 90-day Improvement Plan.
Is it a bad idea to be communicating with them, letting them vent to me, or even passing them information they might be able to use? Obviously, elevating my emotional thinking isn’t a great idea, but I think the parents and/or the Board might not be aware that this was E-D’s 4th school in 4 years (in 3 states), and they might wonder how a headmaster who was thought unfit for his previous 3 positions was considered good enough for their kids. (It’s an easy Google, but I didn’t even bother until I was already informed my contract wasn’t being renewed, so presumably, numerous parents won’t have either.) In addition, I suspect much of his “theology” isn’t in line with the Diocese.
“Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord,” but as Heathcliff pointed out, “God won’t have the satisfaction that I shall.”
On the basis that ED is a narcissist, your proposed courses of action would be breaches of no contact and should be discouraged. It might be the case that you could get away with minor involvement IF and only IF you ET is at a very low level, thus you would not reach a tipping point through the ET increasing as a consequence of such breaches of the no contact regimen.
HG, I was watching Michael Jackson – thriller video last night. It’s crazy how we read into things or at least try to post knowledge. I had just thought it was a funny/scary video. Having watched it last night I’m wondering whether MJ is showing us his creature and laughing at us all, much like the Taylor swift song you analysed. Telling us what he is, yet laughing because he knows that all but the greater narcs will see this as I used to well by and large anyway.
I don’t know, Alexis. Michael Jackson seems to whiney to me. I can’t imagine he’s a greater narcissist. Has Mr. Tudor said he was a greater? Did I miss that?
Michael Jackson was a cnut.
HG,
You don’t sound like a fan….understatement..May I ask why you’re not a fan? Just curious about your reaction. Xx Hope you’re well. ❤️❤️xx
Because he is a cnut.
I apologize, Mr. Tudor. I’m not sure what cnut means. Unless you transposed the “n” and the “u”. If so, to that I say, “OOOF!”
“C U Next Tuesday” by Kesha is still stuck in my head!
See you next Tuesday, indeed.
Some people outright are cunts, let’s be real.
“Michael Jackson was a cnut.”
I concur. Supporting evidence.
https://youtu.be/QtUtUixanOk?feature=shared
That might be one for analysis HG, if you can stomach it.
TS,
I’d like to see that analysis too. The amount of haughtiness MJ is exhibiting is insane. He’s grinning, yawning, stretching and worst of all, giggling. He’s got some set!
Leigh,
Yes, Monosyllabic until he gets handed his own interview notes. Now he talks, the opportunity to monologue. No concern for the boys the interviewer was referring to, but hand him his own monologue and he’s all over it like a rash. The opportunity to talk about himself, what he thinks, what has been written about him.
Me, myself, I.
The grinning looks like pure glee to me. Duper’s delight. He knows he is guilty, but he has the hot shot lawyer so it’s a case of “Come and get me idiot, oh you can’t can you? Because I’m Michael Jackson, I have shed loads of money and you can’t touch me.”
He even laughs at his own lawyer for making a mistake. He’s not the least bit concerned, it’s all just a game to him.
He seems very childish, the laughing, covering his face, fake yawning. Provocation. He was probably hoping the interviewer would lose his temper.
Use of religious reference, likening himself to Jesus. That Jesus imagery was visible in some of his videos too. God complex, or, Jesus complex in this case. Subtle use of the race card. He was having real fun with it and his off screen hangers on were no doubt fuelling him too.
A skin crawlingly vile individual. I remember learning the dance to Thriller as a kid, and buying one of his albums. Urrrgh.
Xx
Thanks for sharing this, TS. Xx I couldnt watch the trial, when it was going on….It was way too upsetting for me and I realize now, it was very triggering for me. Knowing what I know now….the video of him laughing, while being asked serious questions, is both unnerving and aggravates me. I see the haughtiness and the no regard for the serious situation he was in, he didn’t care, it seemed, and he was so confident against the witnesses. Its very upsetting to watch. Xx
Jees I just watched your link TS – thanks for sharing. It’s horrendous. He is so gross and not even worthy of being a greater.
I’d also love an analysis of Wayne Cousins. I watched the docu and saw the clips of him flashing even when there is cctv around. He was a serving officer so would have known of course. Did he just think he was protected from anything? Or his narcissism presumed he wouldn’t get caught? Utter madness!
Rebecca,
The video aggravates me too, and then some. It’s why I would be a terrible police investigator. I’d struggle to contain myself with people like him. If he was attacking me personally, laughing, making light of what I was saying I’d be fine, I’d contain myself no problem. Put me in a situation where we are talking about children though, that’s where I would be on a hair trigger.
I’d like MJ analysed too. Actually, roasted might be even better. A full on, no holding back, HG roasting.
Xx
Hi Alexis,
I know, I only saw that video very recently and it shocked me how he showed his true colours. I was aware HG classified him as a Greater so I didn’t really think about it further than that. I did when I saw that video though.
I didn’t see the Wayne Cousins documentary. When I think about that and the investigation into the Met, suspensions etc, I honestly think you had a situation there that was like a narc infestation. They were drawn to that little niche within the Met and there were too many together, a narc boys club in a way. Zero empathy so I think that behaviour became ‘a perk of the job’.
It’s sad, I have a friend who works for Manchester Police. The nicest, most honest, most honourable man you could hope to meet. How you imagine a policeman should be. It frustrates me that men like him, provoked daily, doing a really excellent job get sullied thanks to the likes of Cousins.
I’m getting riled. Which bright spark posted that MJ video? Haha!
Xx
TS,
I’m right there with you! The fact that he’s laughing, during a serious interrogation irks me. I’d have to excuse myself before I lost it on him, if I was the detective in front of him. I know I’d start shaking first, the vile threatening to come up my throat.. laughing about children being molested….not funny. I’d ask him, WHY are you laughing, you think this is funny?! I know my ET would soar up and I’d be hardpressed not to snap. He’d probably laugh even more, looking at my size, height and bright tears in my eyes, because I cry when angry….so annoying….I’d have to cool off and step away….can’t stand grown ups who hurt children….its a trigger for me. My heart is racing just thinking about it. I’d want to hit him, sorry to say…I’d have a strong urge to hit him. This is a prime example of pushing down my anger at a more manageable level….breath in, breath out….He’d be laughing, watching, knowing I was struggling with my emotional reaction to his gloating behavior and his sense of glee. I didnt know he was like that. I havent seen that video before and it really upsets me and sets me off. The unjustice of him just laughing and not having a care about what was going on, no worries from him at all. Just glee and emptiness.
Rebecca,
There’s no shame in wanting to hit him. There’s no shame either in wanting to hit him many many times.
Xx
Thanks TS,
It makes me feel better with your validation of my right to be angry, its ok to want to hit him, “many, many times.”…that part made me laugh! Xx Thanks for the kinship and the laugh! Xx
TS, the Wayne cousins docu was very interesting. Wow even I feel sorry for your policeman friend, it must be a narc infestation in any force!
TS,
Yes, I agree. A roast of Michael Jackson would be much better!
He’s vile.
Leigh and TS,
That’s a very interesting clip and MJ’s facial expressions are telling.
At one point in the interview, the lawyer questioning him mentions the name Adrian McManus and asks MJ if he’s aware of Adrian McManus giving her deposition (i.e. sworn evidence) during a previous lawsuit.
At that point, MJ stops his childish giggling and eye-rolling and looks up as though he’s pondering the question and he says he’s not positive. He then sucks in his lips and starts chewing on his lips. He looks pensive and worried. The lawyer then asks MJ if he sexually molested Brett Barnes. MJ laughs in a dismissive way, shakes his head, covers his face with his hands, grooms his hair and adjusts his hat.
HG has instructed us well with the Harry’s wife videos showing her blinking, sucking in her lips, and touching her hair. These gestures show the moments when her narcissism detects a loss of control and her anxiety breaks through the facade. With regard to MJ’s interrogation, he also made such gestures to regain control of his facade.
Adrian McManus was a housekeeper at Neverland. She gave several interviews after MJ’s death about what she saw and suspected while working there. She gave some damning information about him and his activities with boys in the house.
MJ would be so interesting to analyse. He is either an innocent who has been treated terribly by the world or an evil mastermind who has fooled everyone. But which one?
Leigh and Alexissmith,
Im not sure if HG did an analysis on MJ yet or not. I think MJ is a Mid Ranger though, not a Greater…and with the rumours with children and him.. were the rumours proven?? If they were, then I’d say he leaned towards Psychopathy. My brother was a psychopath and I got the confirmation from his NDC with HG. My brother had a thing for children, as far as I know he didnt molest anyone besides me.
Xx
Leigh
He did say previously that he was.
MJ has had the HG seal of approval as being a greater Leigh. It was in one of the comments some time ago. If K was still here she’d be able to direct you.
He is whiney though. I guess whilst most greaters are more likeable, some have a different persona. Boris being another good example, not whiney but comes across with this bumbling Boris personality which makes him appear incompetent. I do still have a crush on Boris though. He can have a special emoji ❤️from me.
LOL, Alexis! I can’t get past Boris’ hair. I don’t know whose worse – Boris Johnson or Donald Trump!
Oh, I miss K. 😥 I hope she’s well.
Alexissmith and Leigh,
I have to agree with Leigh, neither man is appealing to me and I cant decide which is worse. 😂xx
Hahah Leigh! Hmm well I would imagine Boris is worse, but I just like that even more hahahha. I’ve previously confessed to being stupid and this only confirms it further.
I do find trump incredibly entertaining though but definitely not someone I’d feel attracted to. I hardly ever feel an instant attraction to be honest. I can only think of a handful. One guy when I was a teen, James Nesbit – he’s my favourite, those naughty eyes. Robbie Williams has them too. As did the guy from my teen years. Then Boris, he’s lacking the eye thing but he can have a free pass anyway Hahah
That’s literally it. Damn! I think all but Boris are somatics so i probs wouldn’t like them so much. But those ones are different to the regular somatics though. So maybe. Jees completely went off on one there
Hahah rebecca, I know I have some odd crushes. I have enough awareness to be aware of this. But no I definitely don’t have any kind of crush on Trump.
You big fib, I know you paint yourself head to toe in orange, put on a blonde wig, say “yuge “ repeatedly as you eat Big Macs in bed
“ You big fib, I know you paint yourself head to toe in orange, put on a blonde wig, say “yuge “ repeatedly as you eat Big Macs in bed”.
Haha – well only at weekends HG. I’m also a natural blonde
HG,
🤣🤣 Painting herself orange and eating big macs in bed….now i have this hilarious pic in my head! 😄xx
Leigh,
Like Trump’s hair is any better?? 😁😄🤣🤣🤪xx
Ha! This conversation is hysterical!
Mr. Tudor painted quite the picture!
I find Boris’ bumbling idiot persona endearing, lol. Trump is just (pause for dramatic effect) an asshole and looks like an oompa loompa, lol!
I can’t past their hair. They need new stylists, lol!
I’m not immune to finding politicians attractive though. Al Gore with his beard. Normally, I don’t like beards but it suited him at the time.
Alexis,
“I’m also a natural blond.” I can’t! I spit out my coffee reading that!
HG, Leigh and Alexis,
All 3 of you got me laughing, thanks for the mental pic HG! 😆🤣 Alexis and Leigh, we need more HG theraphy, who’s staying after class with me? 😁🤣xx
No no no. Please don’t call him B****. He’s not your mate. It’s not even his real name; his family call him Alex (so I understand). He is an extremely dangerous individual. There is nothing endearing about him at all. It’s all a carefully crafted persona. Not remotely amusing.
Our Donny Drumpf! Don’t forget the tiny hands and the minuscule mushroom cap in his pants. He’s (er…) 6’3″ and 215 pounds of Adderall and bronzer. Our boy does make us ‘mericans proud.
I need to see him and Boris in nude oil wrestling, rolling in the sloppy lipids from 100 McDonald’s grease traps. Team America, fuck yeah!
Ha! Hysterical! “Minuscule mushroom cap in his pants”
I love the way you describe things, Allison! Your comments have me laughing my ass off!
What is it with outlandish political narcissists and their crazy hairstyles? It’s a red flag, for sure.
Another one is Argentina’s Javier Milei. He is a presidential candidate with some far-right radical ideas and he has a blow-dried hairstyle that makes Rod Stewart look like an accountant.
I think the hair is used to camouflage the horn nubs poking through 🤣
OMG! What is it with these guys and their hair?!?!
I agree, WN! Its probably to hide their horns, lol!
It must be Leigh.
Crazy-haired politicians almost deserve their own separate cadre 😂
Thank you, Leigh. But please don’t lose your ass. I’m sure that would make some people sad.
I’m fascinated by MJ being a greater and will revisit him w/this lens now. Why adopt a pitiful mid-range act? It seems beneath a greater. Does Boris find his own act, which might be of a lesser, amusing? He must.
Hi Candied: of course no man in his 30s cuddles and sleeps next to a child. But look what the FBI found in his home. Child pornography. MJ was a brilliant artist but a pedophile. He was in my opinion a narcissist and a psychopath.
One last thing. HG has found Jim Carviel to be an empath. When doing The Passion he suffered a dislocated shoulder, two open heart surgeries, wounds from the whip used, and all he could say was h hoed that he helped no one would see him but Christ. This Empath felt called to do Sound of Freedom to try to raise awareness to pedophiles and child trafficking. HG we need your voice. To me, pedophiles are below murdered, the bottom of Dante’s inferno. Why Dante pit betrayal above this? Unless it is the same. They are all evil narcissists getting a fuel from a child. Aren’t all children 0-9not narcs but developing? To me, they are psychopaths with a goal of sexual gratification or a goal of vengeance against innocence. This is a great force, to me an evil one. Mainstream America never makes it a number one cause. Yet it’s a multibillion dollar industry. We need voices. Yours is unique. Please HG. MJ is just one of millions. Gods children are not for sale. May a millstone be hung on their head and thrown to sea!
“Maybe he just didn’t want to be asked “what are you thinking?”
I don’t just feel ya, HG……
I necrophilia
Boom tish!
@K,
You totally ruined, ‘I Feel You’ by DM for me now. Now, I’ll laugh every time I hear it. Xx🤣
Alexis, I had to watch Thriller. OMG! I see what you mean now!
“I have something I wanna tell you. I’m not like other guys. I’m different.”
“No one’s going to save you from the beast about to strike.”
“I can scare you more than any ghost can ever dare try.”
He changes into a zombie and chases her. Then when she can no longer run, he changes back. Then says, “What’s the problem. I’ll take you home now.” She gets up to leave, he puts his arm around her, turns around and has that grin and zombie eyes!
I’ll never watch the video the same way again, lol!
I know it’s totally nuts Leigh. It’s odd how some of the greaters come across as extremely Perculiar without us even knowing about Ns (MJ and jimmy saville – well saville hasn’t had HGs seal of approval I don’t think anyway. But from what Ive learned about him he had to) yet some come across as so seeming normal and complete blend.
The song lyrics and scene you highlighted are so damn creepy. He thinks he’s so clever and of course he is. But so odd and creepy. It’s gross!
Yup I’d love an HG analysis on MJ or JS but I suspect that unless they make headline news…which is not so likely now. Although waiting for the drama with Steve coogan. Maybe an HG analysis then? Perhaps?
Hi Alexis,
Jimmy Savile was part of Mr. Tudor’s YouTube series, “Narcissists that almost f*cked up.” I don’t remember if he said he’s a greater. They’re both vile creatures!
Leigh, since you added those quotes, I decided to look up the lyrics for the whole thriller album. Blimey! What an eye opener!
Human nature – “she knows I’m watching, she likes the way I stare”. It’s so creepy. I’ve seen that stare but only ever from two Ns. One pre and one post knowledge. Even pre knowledge I found it sooooo fucking creepy. Post knowledge i just thought it was so strange to observe.
The other
Wanna be starting’ something – “it’s too high to get over, too low to get under, you’re stuck in the middle and the pain is thunder”.
Wow! It’s kinda like the TS song where she sings “life loses all its meaning for the last time”.
I just feel so sorry for anyone who is stuck like this following a narc relationship. I feel so fortunate that whilst of course it has some impact. My poor memory, natural defence mechanisms power oh and stupidness haha power me through until it’s gone.
Lol, Alexis! I fell for the stare! We can be dumb together! Lol! I was a DLS to a workplace narc and in the beginning the stare seduced me. In the end, the stare was to punish me. He’s an asshole!
Michael Jackson is just like Taylor Swift. He gets off in showing us he’s a narcissist and yet he’s still loved. Gross!
Whoa lea! I must have missed the JS. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll check it out right this second!
And yes the stare. I wonder what the hell they’re thinking when they use this? Probably just admiring their own reflection in our eyes hahah
Regarding Savile, I’m fairly certain I recall HG also saying that Savile was a psychopath as well.
Hi Alexis.
The Saville series will likely be very accurate and scathing because Coogan has a low tolerance for both bullshit and arseholes. If he wasn’t in it, I’d probably struggle to stomach it, but since he is, I’ll try to have a go. While I love his song ‘Everyone’s a bit of a cunt, sometimes’ he knows (and will likely enjoy highlighting) that people like Saville, unfortunately, are cunts, always.
Cheers Dani. I imagine he must have been. – for sure. To be able to stomach having sex with a corpse.
Maybe he just didn’t want to be asked “what are you thinking?”
Maybe he just didn’t want to be asked “what are you thinking?”
Another plus is that it means never having to say he’s sorry.
@Alexissmith2016, your quote about Saville being a necrophilia.
Did you know that some animals practise necrophilia too? Penguins are known for it… eww.. yes
Back to Saville and humans, well necrophilia is the absolute objectification of a person who cannot consent or reject you. It is indeed disgusting, but more prevalent than people would like to admit.
The film “The Neon Demon” has a lesbian act of necrophilia in it. I was quite shocked actually, considering it was labelled only a 16 rather than an 18, but there you go.
Keanu Reeves played the part of a nasty sex offender in it.
Would be nice to see HG dissect and analyse that film. Full of narcissists and psychopaths alike.
Here is the trailer for it.
Lots of famous faces. About the cruelty of the modelling industry
Leigh,
When I was a kid, that video scared the crap out of me, made me feel creeped out. I thought MJ was scary on TV, especially on that video. I just felt such fear watching it…I guess the Contagion in me could sense the real MJ and who he really was. I appreciate when my Contagion part feels the real person, too bad my ET and conditioning/addiction to the narc, tells it to shut up, or ignores the warning….I listen now, in my interactions with people in my daily life. Xx
I don’t remember having a reaction to the Thriller video. I do remember when he was accused though. I didn’t want to believe it was true. I was in complete denial.
I agree, we need to listen to our inner voice. I would often ignore too. Not anymore, though. Now I know how important it is to listen to my spidey sense.
Alexis and Leigh,
Consider also the lyrics of Billie Jean (which was written by MJ):
Billie Jean is not my lover
She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
For forty days and forty nights
The law was on her side
But who can stand when she’s in demand
Her schemes and plans
‘Cause we danced on the floor in the round
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice
(Do think twice, do think twice)
________________________________________________________
If you think about it more deeply, with the knowledge of what MJ actually was, you can see a very twisted meaning.
For example, “she’s just a girl who claims that I am the one” – this could indicate that he wasn’t interested in girls even though girls may have been interested in him. And “the kid is not my son” could indicate that the ‘kid’ is actually being used for much more sinister purposes.
It also has blame-shifting (women are to blame for trying to ‘claim’ him), projection (*her* schemes and plans), and no accountability (others need to ‘think twice’). He also uses a bible reference (forty days and forty nights) and tells on himself (danced on the floor in the round, i.e. ‘in the round’ can mean ‘totally naked’ or ‘in full’.)
MJ knew how popular, famous, and powerful he was (the law was on her side, but who can stand when she’s in demand) and he was flouting the law under people’s noses with no accountability.
When the song was popular, its meaning came across as Billie Jean trying to pin paternity on him while he was the innocent party. The song was played on the radio all the time and was one of his most popular songs. Now when I hear it, it means something totally different. I think MJ was very skilled at twisting the truth. He also peppered his songs and speech with bible references and the race card – two tactics that were subtle but powerful.
Hi WN,
Yes, MJ knew how to play the game and he was very good at it. I see him very differently now. In the past, I kind of felt bad for him. No more. He was a sick bastard.
I agree Leigh.
While he was alive, I thought he was weird and living in some kind of fantasy-land. Now I think of him as a criminal and a sick one. I can’t stand hearing his music now.
I watched a 60 minutes interview of his housekeeper and she said he could be very intimidating. She said she was terrified of what could happen to her if she testified against him in court. Also, with his money he paid people to lie and cover for him and his staff were legally bound with confidentiality contracts they signed before they could work for him.
His facade concealed a dangerous predator.
Anna, goodness! I haven’t seen the film you referred to but I’ll definitely check it out! I can’t imagine keanu playing such a part. He is however the hottest and most adorable empath ever!!
I had no idea necrophilia was more widespread than people realise. I guess no witnesses to come forward. It’s just the most gross thing ever!
It’s still difficult to comprehend, even knowing about Ns. They need power and control and the accompanying fuel. But I can’t think of any way they can get fuel other than thought fuel. I think HG said somewhere that those with a malicious streak can feel more powerful from thought fuel than the average N? Not that they prefer it but they would gain more from it.
Alexissmith,
I’m glad to read you’re not crushing on Trump. You’re not dumb at all. Xx
Now, Boris…ewww, noooo, sorry can’t stomach that. HG has mentioned that Boris seduces women, I’ll have to take his word for it, not everyone likes the good chocolates and some, when they try the good, high dollar chocolates, prefer the cheaper brand flavor. Boris might be high dollar, but I’ll still pass on the samples. Xx
Haha thanks Rebecca. Ah no it’s not the chocolates or gifts. I mean I love chocolate lol but I’ve never been interested in those sorts of things. If someone wants to buy me gifts I wouldn’t object esp if I know they’re an N. When I was younger I wouldn’t even accept gifts from someone if I was in a relationship with them but knew I didn’t feel the same way about them any more or even if it was a friend I’d gone off of. I’d just feel too guilty. I would now hahha (if they were an N)
@Leigh,
MJ scared me as a kid, I was in Elementary school when Thriller came out and I just remember the fear he brought out in me. When the trail was going on, I believed the children and thought how I felt about him, made sense , finally. Yeah, I dont ignore my feelings now either. Xx
Interesting thread. I’ve always found MJ creepy, but this interview was really unpleasant to watch. It doesn’t surprise me that he’s a greater after watching this. Regarding Boris and Trump, I can safely say I haven’t had a crush on either and never will haha. Generally, I don’t find politicians very sexy. The only politician I’ve had a slight crush on (back in the day) was Jens Stoltenberg (Norwegian prime minister for a number of years, head of NATO for the last nine years). All the talk about Boris and Trump made me think of how elegantly Stoltenberg has manoeuvred Trump into believing, and even saying, that Stoltenberg is his biggest fan (which couldn’t be further from the truth). Does this make Stoltenberg a greater, I wonder, or is he just a clever guy with decades of experience in dealing with people like him? What do you think HG?
Thanks scandi,
I don’t know anything about Jens Stoltenberg at all so I had a quick Google of some photos of him. His face was difficult to read until I scrolled past one where I believe I saw the greater’s classic smirk. I could be wrong though (unlikely I know hahhaha). I know HG examines with evidence – always. I would say i do too when it’s someone I know irl. I’d say I’m right 99% of the time with minimal interaction but I struggle with celebrities more as I kinda need to feel what they are. There’s always a vibe they throw off.
You’re wrong.
“ You’re wrong”
Well I got an answer that way. In having to try harder and harder to get one these days hahahah
Im kidding. Those were my thoughts. I stand corrected.
Speaking of Stoltenberg,
I have always seen him as an empath, not even a normal.
I have wondered many times how an empath was even allowed the job to lead a huge military organisation, considering all the narcs and tough, sneaky people fighting for top jobs, smearing eachother etc.
Go Stoltenberg!
https://narcsite.com/2019/03/07/the-narcissists-reality-gap-6/#comment-249974
Thank you, Z! My mind is blown right now! 🤯🤯🤯
I knew he was a narcissist but I would’ve suspected MMR B since he was so damn whiney!
Leigh,
Me too! I thought he was a Mid Ranger, rotally shocked hes a Greater…Would have never thought that! Wow! Mind blown! Xx
Leigh,
“Hee, hee, oooh!”
This is not meant as compassion – at all – in the slightest… however, when I think about MJ, I think he was deeply unhappy with who he was.
Consider all the cosmetic surgeries – he transformed everything about his natural face. His natural features were gone by the end and his face was grotesque and very unnatural.
He was extremely popular in his own right and due to h