Questioning Me
Do feel free to ask me anything you like. I am here for you to dip into my mind and for you to benefit from learning how I view the world. No question is off limits and if you want to establish a dialogue with me, then so much the better. You will be helping me so I can show the treatment team that I am interacting with people in this setting. You can ask me why I do certain things, what am I thinking, what my favourite food is, whatever you like. This is your chance to extract as much knowledge and information from me as you possibly can. If you want to just make a statement, go ahead. Fill your boots. I don’t know you so I won’t fly into a rage (this does happen when people I know question me but that is because they have an agenda – you don’t because we don’t know one another). I look forward to hearing from you.
11,861 thoughts on “Questioning Me”
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HG, I had a feeling checking S.Vaknin’s channel for some reason and couldn’t believe what I saw. He just posted a video four hours ago: “WRONG about Narcissism: Fuel, Magnet, Vampire”. He went into explaining how this terms are misleading and not just that:
SV:”…In the late 1980s and the beginning of the 1990s, when you were all just a glimmer in your parents’ eyes, I was toying with the phrase narcissistic fuel. I was coming up with a whole new language to describe the internal world of the narcissist and the way the narcissist interacts with other people now known as narcissistic abuse, a phrase which I also coined. So I was coming up with all kinds of neologisms and coinages and new phrases and new words and for a while I was using narcissistic fuel and then I decided that it’s wrong. Narcissistic fuel is seriously wrong, very misleading…”
And then he goes on the attack against the terms Fuel and Magnet…
What’s going on? Why now?
How to deal with it? Simply ignore, right?
Someone needs attention. He has used the term fuel previously AFTER I had used the term for some time.
I remember him using “supply”. Part of the reason I moved away from him, not to mention his boring monotone delivery and terrifying looking face. Fuel made so much more sense when I found your site HG. If he’s adopted it, you definitely should get the credit for that, everyone else was using supply back then.
I find the term “narcissistic supply” cumbersome and unhelpful. When people talk about the narcissist wanting supply, I ask “supply of what?” they often pause, uncertain as to what it is. Fuel is accurate and far more helpful.
I absolutely agree.
When neurobiologists begin to explain personality disorders using terminology like: primary psychopathy, secondary psychopathy, overt narcissism, covert narcissism — is when it becomes difficult to navigate what is actually meant vs your terminology and classifications where it’s clear which type of personality reacts accordingly within the options of their school/cadre.
On the one hand neurobiology provides the answer into the whole cycle of the narcissistic dynamic from the perspective of neurons, brain activity, brain structure, hormones and neurobiological patterns, but when the terminology of covert/overt narcissism is brought in it ruins the whole thing. Not differentiating on covert/overt behaviour not covert/overt narcissism.
Narcissistic supply — I don’t even know how to describe the unclarity of this term.
Fuel: emotionally laden response, reaction, action of positive or negative nature, “love me, hate me, never ignore me” (makes sense)
Residual Benefits: sex, money, provision of all kinds of services (makes sense)
Character Traits: add-ons from other people’s personality (makes sense)
Control: psychological and physical manipulation over the appliance in order to receive Fuel and Residual Benefits (makes sense).
The receiving of Fuel simultaneously stimulates the asserting of Control which powers the engine of the narcissist’s construct by sustaining bio-neurological patterns of the brain-body chemistry, which is cemented in the psyche via the neuro-bonds.
The main energy resource (Fuel) allows the narcissist to assert Control via aware and unaware tactics and manipulations and go after the Residual Benefits.
The aware/calculated and unaware/instinctive tactics and manipulations can be ensconced in overt or covert behaviour. There can’t be an overt or covert narcissist or narcissism.
Well stated.
HG and Jordyguin,
This conversation about different terms and whether or not they make sense is very interesting.
In my view, it comes down to perspectives.
The term ‘narcissistic supply’ has been around for decades. It’s a term that is used by psychologists, doctors, academics and those who have studied or researched personality disorders in a formal or ‘scholarly’ way.
As far as I’m concerned, I ‘understand’ what the term means. I understand that it means the narcissist receives something or benefits in some way from the reactions of other people.
For me, another way of describing supply is that other people ‘give’ the narcissist what he or she wants to feel better about themselves in an emotional sense. Other people ‘supply’ the narcissist in an implicit way that proves or justifies to the narcissist that they matter or are important. The way this ‘supply’ is provided is via an emotional transfer.
When I compare the word ‘supply’ to the word ‘fuel’, there are both similarities and differences between them.
They are similar in that the narcissist is receiving something of benefit to him/her.
To me, the difference is that ‘fuel’ is a word and concept that is used in everyday language and it conveys a defined meaning that’s understood by most people whether they’re academics or have never read a book in their lives.
Fuel keeps an engine running. Fuel feeds a hungry stomach. Fuel is needed to keep a car or fireplace or machine operating. Without fuel, an engine stops. When fuel is running low, you need to top it up in order to keep the engine running. And so forth.
Fuel is a much more easily understood word that clearly defines how a narcissist needs fuel to keep his or her ‘self’ operating.
In relation to HG’s other words and concepts – like ‘control’, ‘character traits’ and ‘residual benefits’ – they are also more easily understood. And when defined as the ‘prime aims’ – the four needs (i.e. fuel, control, character traits and residual benefits) create a defined structure that is easy to grasp and remember.
To me, the commonplace nature or familiarity of the words work together with the structured and defined ‘system’ HG has developed.
In a nutshell, HG has transformed what seemed like complex and foggy academic ideas into a more structured and easy to grasp framework that can be easily understood by most people.
Importantly, HG’s words and structured framework make it possible to recognise the wide range of personality types that exist among narcissists. This wasn’t possible before.
Correct.
Hi AV,
I totally agree with you and HG. It’s nice to see you on the blog. Xx
“boring monotone delivery and terrifying looking face” — That’s so true, AV. And you made me laugh…And who would pick creepster when a deep, chocolatey velvety voice that reminds one of Darth Vader (had he a British accent) is so prevalent and swoon-worthy. And I have heard Mr. Tudor say “Woohoo” now. It was a priceless, joyous moment. I listened twice…because I enjoy Mr. Tudor’s takes on the “Cats” actor. Cats, the movie that used CGI to remove certain orifices.
Dani, I’m glad I was able to give you a laugh! If I’d have had to stick with SV to learn about narcissism, that learning would never have happened! You’re right, no comparison with the chocolate, velvety tones HG offers!
HG and Jordyguin,
This part of the quote from SV in Jordyguin’s comment:
SV:”…In the late 1980s and the beginning of the 1990s, when you were all just a glimmer in your parents’ eyes… “
… instantly made me think that whatever came next was questionable.
For a start, there would be a large number of listeners who were born earlier than the 1980s. In general, most people first become aware of narcissism in their 40s, 50s and even 60s after they have been in difficult relationships or marriages and have sought answers about what happened to them.
To me, SV should know this. The fact he arrogantly thinks his audience was not even born yet in the 1980s and 1990s – making them under 40 years old – is a glaring misjudgement.
This seemingly small error is telling. It tells me that SV is self-centred and arrogant. He keeps warbling on and on and on without really considering his audience and what those seeking answers really need.
HG,
This may seem of little benefit or comfort to you when you are being plagiarised or someone else is taking credit for your work.
However …
The thing is, you can’t stop people from doing it. There are many YouTube channels that focus on narcissism. There are many articles, books, podcasts, blogs, etc that discuss the topic in one way or another. It’s impossible to scan everything and police the terms and concepts that vast numbers of authors use.
One thing that happens though is that particular terminology and concepts are discussed more often and take hold in the general scheme of things over a period of time. This happens because the terminology and concepts are actually relevant, helpful and ring true.
Then, the particular terminology is traced back to the original author. The earliest references are found and the earliest authors are credited for the relevant terminology and conceptual ideas.
All this to say that I think you have nothing to worry about. Keep doing what you’re doing – being true to your own ideas and work and explaining things the way you do. Your originality will stand out as it is already doing.
After all, as the saying goes:
“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” – a quote often attributed to Oscar Wilde.
In the context of my comment, Oscar Wilde was born in 1854. In 1820, way before Oscar could have been a glimmer within a glimmer of his parent’s eyes, there was Charles Caleb Colton.
Charles Caleb Colton wrote the words “Imitation is the sincerest of flattery” in his book ‘Lacon: Or, Many Things in Few Words.’
The idea in Oscar Wilde’s quote was probably first coined even earlier than the reference found in Caleb Colton’s book.
My point though, is that there are people who don’t take things at face value and who do care to find the truth behind the authors who wrote the words they’re reading.
Another quote:
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” – a quote by Buddha, apparently.
How can we prove that Buddha said this? Firstly, one would need to have a huge library and a very long audit trail. Does accurate attribution matter though after hundreds of years? The quote itself is still true and is still quoted. That is the legacy that whoever first coined the quote has achieved.
Thank you WN.
I don’t have an issue with people using my terminology, indeed I’d rather they did. Accordingly when people refer to fuel, wounding, fury, Mid Range Narcissists and similar that’s all good. I want my terminology to be the lingua franca of narcissism.
I only object when people lift my work wholesale and replicate it without permission or credit (it doesn’t happen often but does happen). For instance there was a site in the US which was using my logo, artwork and site name. A stern missive from the Ultra, delivered through one of my readers, soon had the site name changed and artwork removed.
Hi HG,
And she was pretty quick with changing her site name and removing your logo too! It was a relief and a bit amusing how quick she bowed down. Awesome to witness you at work! Xx
Mr. Tudor–
I understand your appreciation for the adoption of your terms. I think it is imperative that they cite you properly, and it’s vital that they understand the terms.
The problem I ran into with Dr. Plagiarizer in her YouTube videos is that I don’t think she understood your terminology completely. Her lack of explanation resulted in me giving up on narcissism as an explanation for years. It wasn’t until I saw Harry’s behavior and searched across that space that I found you, and I saw your MRN videos and it triggered that memory of her video.
Indeed. I recall in October 2021 when I came across her plagiarism and it was also clear she didn’t understand the concept. The fact she was involved with Jada Pinkett Smith and failed to spot what she is, speaks volumes. Unfortunately, she has gained a media presence which extends her unhelpful reach.
HG,
Wow, copying your site name, logo and artwork…
That’s blatant copying. It’s another level of plagiarism compared to using the same terminology and ideas. It makes me wonder how they thought they’d get away with it.
I’m glad you were able to address the matter.
HG and Dani,
“The fact she was involved with Jada Pinkett Smith and failed to spot what she is, speaks volumes. Unfortunately, she has gained a media presence which extends her unhelpful reach.”
To me, one action informs what a person is likely to do in other situations.
About ‘The Plagiariser’ – (she doesn’t behave like a real doctor so I’m not going to call her one) …
She plagiarised HG’s work without giving him credit. She did this in a deliberate and haphazard way without regard for HG or her audience or her own reputation.
When she was informed about her use of HG’s terms, she didn’t apologise, take the video down, or make any attempt to remedy the situation by announcing that she was using someone else’s work, etc.
These aspects inform me about the kind of person she is, her integrity, and what she’s likely to do in future.
She blatantly plagiarised for the sake of click bait. That is how she operates. That is one of the ways she “has gained a media presence.”
I hate ‘click bait’. It’s a toxic virus that’s poisoning social media. It drives ‘bread and circus’ mentality and dumbs down everything. And for what? So that the likes of Plagiariser get a few extra clicks.
The Chinese company that spawned ThickTok must be laughing its head off at the stupidity of Westerners as it harvests their private information and makes them addicted.
Plagiariser cares more about clicks than she does about the quality of her work; her own integrity; the accuracy of her information; or her audience.
That said, I couldn’t care less if she becomes the most well-known YouTube channel with the most subscribers in the world. To me, her information is inaccurate, confusing and self-serving and I will deliberately make a point of not watching her.
Hello HG: I recall he said empaths were psychopaths. I think his snide unsubstantiated remarks about empaths are an attack on you. He usually links his attacks on the term “ empaths” with a conartist. I think he feels challenged by your platform. Says it all. Some of Sam’s work was and is good. But what truly sets you apart is your ability to educate in a fundamental way that people can understand. You do it in multiple ways. Sam is a cerebral narcissist he likes to cite authority and ramble on purposefully in a way that others strive to understand. How does that help anyone who suffers from abuse? It might make him feel superior.
Taking refuge in the vague and amorphous is a means of nullifying threats to control.
HG,
You mean like lumping together a very broad range of people one doesn’t actually know and judging them all in a particular way based on an unsubstantiated guess as to whether everyone in your grouping is likely to vote right or left in elections with only two political parties to choose from?
You mean that kind of “vague and amorphous”?
Oh, this Vam Saknin…I remember, June last year, I was struggling to figure out what the hell has happened and who was this guy I’ve entangled with. I knew he was manipulating, but I couldn’t pinpoint how and why. I’ve discovered a term Narcissistic personality disorder and other new words such as gaslighting, triangulation, hoovering, etc. I read a lot of Quora. I recall I was so shocked how all the stories are similar. Like everyone is talking pretty much about the same person/guy. Then I found Dr Ra* on YT. Her videos helped a bit. But I wanted a confirmation that this guy was a narc. I tried to book a consultation with her, but she was not available. Only option was to pay like 40-60$ membership for some forum where people were talking about their experience over and over again. I didn’t like that idea. I didnt want to talk, I wanted to forget about him, him stop living in my head rent free. Plus still I was hesitant if he was a narc or not. So then I switched to SV. Those long 2-3 hours videos…OMG. He was talking about the same thing again and again. Initially it all made sense, but more I listened, more I was becoming confused. At one video he was saying one thing, at another, opposite. In addition, I found some of his comments about women misogynistic. And he didn’t explain that victims are different. Like being married to a narc or have a long distance relationship are not the same things. At last, I’ve searched his whatsup number at internet and wrote to him. Very politely, if I can book a consultation with him and can he tell me whether the person I was involved was a narcissist or not. I made some grammar mistake in the message, so he replied rather rude (no greetings), correcting it and just send me a link to buy his book for 500$ (in that range) and then I can have 30 mins talk with him (he didn’t explain if he can do a narc detector or not). I didn’t reply to him, thinking to myself f.. off. I unsubscribed from his channel. It was August last year. Came back to Quora and saw a comment, where someone said there about HG Tudor work, that it really helps to learn about Narcissism. For some reason when I was putting “Narcissism” in search button at YT, HG videos never popped up to me. There were a lot of other channels on Narcissism which I tried to listen, but never him. Only when put HG Tudor, Narcissism, finally a glimpse to this new world of knowledge appeared in front of me. I didn’t know at that time that the effect would be equivalent to taking a red pill in Matrix. The video was with 3 ice creams. It was a first HG’s one I’ve watched. Though, I was surprised I couldn’t see who was talking, plus the voice I found a bit creepy (sorry). Sexy, but dark. Also pauses.. Felt uncomfortable initially listening to his videos. I don’t know why. What I heard was painful to hear, but I realized it was probably true. And I clicked “more info” and saw “Narc Detector”. Finally, bingo. A detector confirmed he was indeed a narcissist. So now I’m here. And whenever SV videos appear in my feed, it makes me cringe.
That’s rich! SV chastising people for their grammar is about as convincing as HG admonishing us to hug and cry more.
Hello Arya
I’m glad you found your way to the person who can actually help you as opposed to the self aggrandising Sam Vaknin or the plagiarist Dr Ramani.
I remember arriving on the blog several years ago – before the Ultra YouTube channel was created – and after reading and engaging here for a week or so, I knew that this blog was the place to find my answers.
Unpicking your experience with the narcissist can be a painful process. Ultimately though, understanding what HG explains here and on his YouTube channels will enable you to reconcile the past, and protect yourself moving forward.
Unlike SV, HG’s information is not about showcasing how intelligent he is, it’s not about blame, it’s about clearly explaining narcissism in a relatable way so that readers and listeners can fully understand it and apply what they learn.
Keep reading, listening and questioning Arya because that is the route to finding freedom from the narcissist.
And
Welcome to the blog!
Well stated TS.
Hello Arya0901,
Welcome to narcsite. We’re glad you’re here.
If you haven’t found it, Mr. Tudor has two channels that he regularly updates on YouTube and one older channel that contains superlative information.
Knowing the Narcissist (the original channel)
HG Tudor – Knowing the Narcissist: Ultra – Has become more dedicated to Tudor Scopes and Celebrity behaviour breakdowns.
Narcissism and Psychopathy with HG Tudor – Channel dedicated to pure narcissism and psychopathy videos.
All three are excellent and worth exploring as you feel up to it and want to learn more. The blog is also a treasure filled place to find understanding about narcissism and psychopathy.
Welcome again.
Hi
You are right . I swear by HG .
I was here 5 years ago . HG helped me through something that nearly destroyed me .
Why am I back , I got so good at it and overconfident I slipped and fell for a massive hoover I also was vulnerable.
Anyway I digress , I listened to every relationship coach going on YT , they made me feel worse . I became depressed.
I was listening to Ex back videos , how to be higher value all this shit .Then I stumbled here and reading the articles was shocking and enlightening. Everything applied and as an analytical scientist I was engrossed but am a critical thinker and I could not believe what I was reading and how it resonated deeply.
It’s hard to stomach but instinctively you know HG is right even if you wish he wasn’t . You want to deny but you know . It’s like HG confirmed my deep instincts which I couldn’t make sense of myself and couldn’t stop ignoring.
HG, what do you think of David Foster Wallace? Is he a narcissist, and/or/not a depressed person? How about the narrators in his writing, for example the Good Old Neon?
Contagious, hi dear. I follow JK Rowling on X too and I have to disagree with you that every single day she fights with someone on the trans issue getting into nowhere. And also disagree on the statement of why does she not write daily about other topics or mix it up or address women’s rights?
This is just a tiny excursion (July 13) into her feed index which demonstrates versatility, evidence, accuracy, intelligence and wit, highlighting important cases, new information from the field concerned with women rights, freedom of speech and biological differences between men and women. As well replying to certain clowns highlighting the absurd.
Jul 6: Repost: WDI.Afghanistan re Women Rights.
Jul 6: Witty observation re Piers Morgan and the clown on speed.
Jul 6: Presenting evidence on a variety of groups harbouring sex offenders.
Jul 6: Presenting evidence on perverts and predators hiding under the trans umbrella.
Jul 5: Repost: Afghanistan school and learning issue for girls.
Jul 4: Highlighting on a case against a person who knows the difference between male and female.
Jul 3: Repost: The Free Speech Union concerning freedom of expression in the UK.
Jul 2: Addressing gender ideology, freedom of speech, scientific truth, gay rights, and women’s and girls’ safety, privacy and dignity.
Jul 2: Highlighting on a paedophile cosying up with the police.
Jul 1: Repost: Female Division I swimmers who were forced to compete against Lia Thomas.
Jul 1: Repost: For Women Scotland re Supreme Court’s landmark ruling on the definition of woman.
Jun 30: Presenting evidence on Stephen Ireland who endlessly targeted JK because she opposed the chemical castration of children and the removal of protected spaces for women and girls. Now Stephen Ireland has just been sentenced to 30 years in jail for child rape.
Jun 29: Addressing gaslighting statements on the belief ‘man is a woman’ and a ‘woman’ is a concept men can embody at will.
Jun 28: Witty observation on the depiction of Pedro Pascal’s wishful thinking.
Jun 27: Addressing the self-identifying issue.
Jun 27: Repost of a case where a man protected a woman who was not wearing a hijab and the man was found dead later.
Jun 27: Highlighting on an arrogant, entitled and aggressive person re books publishing.
Jun 26: Repost: Trans-identified males competing in Pro Disc Golf Women’s Championship, taking home nearly $5,000 in prize money intended for female players.
Jun 27: Dealing with the clown Boy George.
Jun 27: Repost: LGB Courage Coalition re protection of children from harmful interventions.
Jun 27: Witty and accurate observation: “Takes some balls to defame the Supreme Court” re Misgendered by police outside Mass Lobby.
Jun 26: Highlighting “A New Paper Reveals Devastating Harms of Cross-Sex Hormones”
…….
And so on and so forth.
A serious deep dive would prove finding out that JK Rowling’s feed demonstrates her involvement in a variety of issues, primarily focusing on justice, women and children rights and problems or improvement in those fields. Her involvement demonstrates an empathy driven behaviour but also an ability to fight back in an appropriate way, using evidence and logic. Overall, her demonstrating of being an important voice out there.
A considerable amount of work went into HG’s analysis of JK Rowling (as with any other candidate) and I can’t thank him enough for his effort!! And here is a wonderfully put explanation by HG, from Part 9: Conclusion, in regard to JK’s behaviour on the transgender issue. I hope it helps you better understand JK and her empathic makeup.
“…There’s a distinct absence of conflict in the life of JK Rowling that is until we get to her stand in relation to the trans movement. Here we have seen a stealier side of the author, a more feisty and combative individual. However it is important to note that in relation to her behaviour that has not been about attacking the trans movement per se but has been an action to defend the rights of women which in so doing has had the collateral consequence of calling out the more unpleasant aspects of those that support the trans movement.
She has been incorrectly labeled as trans phobic when in actual fact it’s more about standing up for women than attacking trans individuals. A subtle but very important distinction that is borne out by the evidence.
The allocation of financial firepower to the cause of women demonstrates the presence of emotional empathy and the manner in which she has supported individuals also demonstrates the presence of emotional empathy. She has never been gratuitous when dealing with individuals from the trans movement but has simply factually called out behaviour that she does not agree with as she expresses her opinion. She has not engaged in wholesale gratuitous insults. She has been dismissive of individuals but has done so as consequence of the response to provocation. She has been witty and pathy in some of her put downs which some individuals could regard as condescending. It’s clear that she’s not afraid to argue and has a strong argumentative trait, that is a narcissistic trait but can be ensconced within empathic traits also…
…However when we turn to her philanthropy that an altogether different picture emerges. She is not someone that regularly speaks about her philanthropy but in so doing it has been clear that she has been particularly moved by the plight of others. That of her mother, that of others sufferers of MS, the orphaned children, the individuals who are subjected to abusive relationships because she knows what that is like. And whilst it is easy for a woman who is a near billionaire to throw money at the problem she didn’t have to because after all it is her money and she has done so with a substantial portion of her fortune and has done so for the most part in a quiet and unassuming manner. Indeed the journalists had to work out just how much they believe that she is given because it’s not something that she regularly publicises…
…This is an individual that has emotional empathy that goes beyond those immediately around her, that she is governed by strong empathic traits of caring, of compassion, of having a strong moral compass of justice. An individual that wishes to fight on behalf of others as has been evidenced by her taking the mantle of womanhood and supporting it in the face of considerable aggression from certain elements of the trans movement. And also her behaviour with regard to her charitable and philanthropic works particularly in relation to children…”
Here’s my ‘serious deep dive’ into Rowling’s feed.
I saw something very different.
Here are those same posts.
Jul 6: Repost: WDI.Afghanistan re Women Rights.
The WDI is an anti trans organisation. Their ‘about’ page states:
‘We understand that men can never be women, no matter how they identify..’.
Jul 6: Witty observation re Piers Morgan and the clown on speed.
The ‘clown on speed’ is Owen Jones, a gay writer and passionate advocate for socialist policies whose work has focused on improving the circumstances of people on lower incomes and the working class, particularly those in the UK. HG has mentioned reading his books. He has been open about having ADHD. He was talking with PM about Gaza but has been critical of Rowling’s views on transgenderism in the past.
Jul 6: Presenting evidence on a variety of groups harbouring sex offenders.
Long post defending herself after someone questioned why she chooses to focus so heavily on sex offenders who wear women’s clothes rather than sex offenders in other groups.
Jul 6: Presenting evidence on perverts and predators hiding under the trans umbrella.
Finding and presenting specific examples that support her narrative that any trans people can be dangerous and abuse trans rights. Calling anyone who doesn’t agree with that narrative ‘useful idiots.’
Jul 5: Repost: Afghanistan school and learning issue for girls.
Non trans related post about women’s rights. Nice.
Jul 4: Highlighting on a case against a person who knows the difference between male and female.
Confused that people who’ve chosen to work in a caring profession could object to gender critical views.
Jul 3: Repost: The Free Speech Union concerning freedom of expression in the UK.
While this might make her seem like a concerned citizen, the only speech she laments being stifled is gender critical speech.
Jul 2: Addressing gender ideology, freedom of speech, scientific truth, gay rights, and women’s and girls’ safety, privacy and dignity.
Big log post by a famous author articulating her personal opinion on gender.
Jul 2: Highlighting on a paedophile cosying up with the police.
Reposting an account ‘against trans ideology’ referencing a gay man who turned out to be a pedophile was at one point driven in a police car that was decorated for 2019 pride. Her comment seems to be suggesting that gay men are in cahoots and endorse the abuse of children.
Jul 1: Repost: Female Division I swimmers who were forced to compete against Lia Thomas.
Reposting a ‘pro woman’ account’s report that a trans swimmer has been stripped of her medal.
Jul 1: Repost: For Women Scotland re Supreme Court’s landmark ruling on the definition of woman.
Reposting a gender critical organisation which is pursuing what it believes are its entitlements.
Jun 30: Presenting evidence on Stephen Ireland who endlessly targeted JK because she opposed the chemical castration of children and the removal of protected spaces for women and girls. Now Stephen Ireland has just been sentenced to 30 years in jail for child rape.
One of the people who told her her gender critical opinions were bad has turned out to be a paedophile. Seems to believe this has a bearing on her correctness.
Jun 29: Addressing gaslighting statements on the belief ‘man is a woman’ and a ‘woman’ is a concept men can embody at will.
Using her personal timeline to state her personal opinion on women and gender.
Jun 28: Witty observation on the depiction of Pedro Pascal’s wishful thinking.
Reacting after her views on gender are criticised by an actor.
Jun 27: Addressing the self-identifying issue.
Responding to a comment from an account which represents a very a liberal position on transgenderism with a scholarly quote in order to dismiss its validity.
Jun 27: Repost of a case where a man protected a woman who was not wearing a hijab and the man was found dead later.
Repost of a story about a man protecting a woman in Iran – not related to gender identity.
Jun 27: Highlighting on an arrogant, entitled and aggressive person re books publishing.
Standing up for the rights of gender critical authors to have their gender critical views and still publish their books.
Jun 26: Repost: Trans-identified males competing in Pro Disc Golf Women’s Championship, taking home nearly $5,000 in prize money intended for female players.
Repost of a report from gender critical organisation about transgender golfers.
Jun 27: Dealing with the clown Boy George.
Suggests a man who trail-blazed in the 80s pop scene by challenging gender expression norms (who happens to have criticised her comments) is reliant on her for attention after he blocked her to avoid dealing with her army of gender critical fans.
Jun 27: Repost: LGB Courage Coalition re protection of children from harmful interventions.
LGB (without the T) organisations are anti trans campaigners. The phrase ‘no one is born in the wrong body’ is their rallying statement representing their fixed position.
Jun 27: Witty and accurate observation: “Takes some balls to defame the Supreme Court” re Misgendered by police outside Mass Lobby.
Taking pains to remind everyone that transgender women have or had male genitalia. Not sure if this is the height of wit.
Jun 26: Highlighting “A New Paper Reveals Devastating Harms of Cross-Sex Hormones”
Posting a report from a right wing publication that has articles like ‘how DEI bureaucrats control university hiring’ and ‘radicals making plans to topple America’. Her views on gender sit within this reactionary universe.
…….
‘And so on and so forth.’
Indeed.
Contagious is correct.
Hello Jordy:
Sounds like I don’t follow her on the threads you do. Who knows maybe it’s a catfish on X! You might be right. I have not seen a single discussion you cited! If so I take it all back. It doesn’t recall my deep admiration for the lady, the thread 🧵 saw was not the same as yours. Weird. Anyway, JK is amazing and I hope you are right! If I have been following something that isn’t her, what a relief! I appreciate your he time you took to point this out! Thanks Jordy!
Thanks love, no problem.XX
When you drop or do not wear your mask, HG, does it look at all similar to the (non-)expression we see on TOW’s face in “Meghan Markle Facade Breach – See the Emptiness of the Narcissist” or is it not comparable?
No, it is different. She looks vacuous, I do not.
“I have questions and concerns about Rowling’s negative, ongoing, online responses.”
This is not how it’s done Annaamel.
Where is the list of JK Rowling’s negative, ongoing, online responses?
Present clear evidence.
Present quotes and links.
Present your questions in relation to the evidence.
And only then it can be discussed if your concerns are merited.
Did you read and were able to understand or had questions on the essay Leigh posted the link for you? https://www.jkrowling.com/opinions/j-k-rowling-writes-about-her-reasons-for-speaking-out-on-sex-and-gender-issues/
Mr. Tudor,
I have a question regarding favorites. How does favorites work with the Ultra? What does a favorite mean to the Ultra? If you’re sat in Tudor Towers by yourself with the Psychopath’s mask off and you put on a Depeche Mode album or a Christian Bale movie, how does it effect you? I’m assuming you don’t experience enjoyment. But do you experience anything? Are you inspired or motivated in some way? Is having a favorite only a tool to manipulate others?
Thank you for your time, Mr. Tudor
Stimulation is my form of enjoyment.
Mr. Tudor says, “Stimulation is my form of enjoyment.” Thank you for your response. If I may, I have some follow up questions.
Are your favorites determined by how well they stimulate you? So for instance, is Christian Bale your favorite actor because you find his movies the most stimulating?
I’m curious about how you determine a favorite. Does the output of fuel or the ability to use a favorite to acquire fuel, play any role in determining a favorite?
Would you be willing to share how you determine a favorite?
Thank you for your time, Mr. Tudor.
I appreciate the films that he has appeared and have seen many of them. I find his portrayal of various characters impressive and immersive, hence I like to watch him.
HG,
I think I get what you mean here. I like to be stimulated too, but I feel happiness from it.
I think stimulation makes you feel powerful, above others…I hope I’m understanding you correctly. ?
You enjoy that feeling of power, it feels like it surges in your veins…I imagine how it feels for you….
Happiness I feel in my center and chest, like a warm glow radiating out, makes me feel light and I giggle with the force of it bursting outward. It’s what it feels like to me. I hold those moments tightly, they linger softly, but don’t stay. Xx
Dear Ultra,
During the first date I said to her “I love your positivity”
she replied
“I’m negative inside but I try to keep the negativity in me because I want show just positivity to people”
Can this be a Middle Mid-range warning?
It is a red flag.
Angels of Death is a very interesting series because the rule: A dead appliance is a useless appliance — doesn’t apply – and the appliance is a means to an end of the ultimate control and satisfaction, whilst the acquisition of fuel moves more to the periphery then.
Harold Shipman’s suicide was an act of assertion of the ultimate control over his own fate. To rot in prison, becoming older and weaker and not being able to wield power via the killing, asserting control in a godlike manner — became not an option anymore so he remained in control via suicide. Death as his personal theme so to speak – it revolved all around death from the start (mother), his profession (life and death field) and his own end.
And it looks as if the control over death outweighs the control over life. The preferred method is to achieve control over life by bringing (controlling) death if the Angels of Death chose this option over the other i.e. killing not healing, would be my understanding of it.
Dictators who historically initiated and guided mass murder must be on the same level obsessed with bringing death and achieving absolute control which is the strangest thing because so… contradictory. Feeling alive (powerful and resourceful) by bringing death (ending resource and power) of others. If connection and emotional empathy which produces compassion for others, is removed – it makes sense why it’s possible to take lives. Add excitement/stimulation and the need for accumulation and the necessary triad was achieved by them.
The Aztecs ruling caste made death i.e. sacrifice a daily ritual. If you watched Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto — the depiction of absolute power and reign of terror, was impressive. Their view on death and sacrifice was absolutely backed up by psychopathy and the necessary triad. A dead appliance is a useless appliance – was not relevant in their case either. Instead, imaginary friends demanded daily deaths and the ruling caste was an obedient good follower of gods’ demands. Did they engage in magical thinking then? How did that type of magical thinking originate?
Was it a projection from what they felt, onto their imaginary friends? And did it create a psychological loop and circumstances for the Lack of Control Environment to prosper, for everyone who was born into that Empire?
Where did the genetic predisposition come from in such numbers (5-6 million people at the peak of the Aztec Empire) ?
Hey Jordy:
This is where I get stuck. Control over death is both a narcissist and psychopathic trait. Ted Bundy was diagnosed a psychopath for example. Power and control were said to be his main motives as well as sadism, compulsion etc….i guessed Letby was a psychopath: control over death, collecting death, impulsive but HG delve deep into her life and I could see the distinction but I would not have guessed it. It’s rare.. Most don’t kill. Thank goodness but your examples of historical mass killings sadly are not so rare. Sad. Good hypothesis!
Letby is not a psychopath as explained in my detailed analysis of her behaviours. She caused death to triangulate with others for the purpose of controlling third parties and gaining fuel as babies are little use of themselves and of greater use in relation to others.
Hello HG:
I guessed wrong. Your analysis was correct. 🙂
Contagious, adding a note Re death: Where the narcissist commits suicide it’s the third assertion of control — the ultimate withdrawal.
Can we consider the co-dependent a “true empath”?
I tend to see them as failed/depressed narcissists. With a similar mindset.
They can sometimes be very narcissistic with normals and other empaths.
No, because that would then raise the question that if they are a True Empath, what are those of Standard, Contagion or Super?
Ok, thank you!
What do you think about the “inverted narcissist ”diagnosis (Sam Vaknin).
Are they codependent or MMR B narc?
I have stated previously SE that I do not use such a term myself and I do not think it is either applicable to helpful.
Hi HG,
I don’t listen to this Sam person, but I am curious as to why he thinks being Codependent is being a narc? A lot of empaths have Codependent in their empath make up, me included, and I’m not a narc. Could you please explain his thinking here? Thanks for your time and work. Xx
HG,
I tried replying, but I got a message that I ….already commented that before…not sure if it went through or not? Xx
I understand.
You know, when a MMR B (false poor codependent -I think Vaknin would diasgnose her as “inverted narcissist”) narc discards you in favour of an UMR narc and says “years ago I was a codependent, now I’m a counterdependent” you start to see codependents and narcissists like shit.
Personally I have -insignificant codependent minority traits-
Triggers: intimate texts with another man, cheating
Inverted narcissist confuses people. It is an unhelpful term as it appears to describe someone as a narcissist when they are not.
Is this a Narcissist’s Word Salad?
The two excerpts have the same word in them – intrapsychic – and the language and style is the same. It’s modern, cerebral, psychological, philosophical and religious.
Both made sense. But both are cold and sharp even though they are accurate from the perspective of the train of thought which is presented. The first one explained more and the second is more grandiose because of the religious taste.
A cerebral. A person in power. A leader or someone who pulls the strings knowing a lot about human behaviour.
Josephina,
“I meant a narcissist who is aware that he is a narcissist and who consciously weaves intrigues and plots. H.G. Tudor, please correct me. A narcissist who has all the characteristics that I listed above is an Elite, not an Ultra?”
No.
Elite is a classification for a narcissist’s Cadre of which there are four:
1. Somatic
2. Cerebral
3. Victim
4. Elite (cerebral and somatic)
Cadre applies to both – aware and unaware narcissists.
Ultra is a classification for a narcissist’s School:
1. The Lesser Narcissist (unaware)
– Lower Lesser
– Middle Lesser
– Upper Lesser A/B
2. The Midrange Narcissist (unaware)
– Lower Mid-Range
– Middle Mid-Range A/B
– Upper Mid-Range
3. The Greater Narcissist (aware)
– Lower Greater
– Middle Greater
– Upper Greater
4. The Ultra — HG Tudor (super aware and explaining all of this to us)
——
Josephina, the person you described can fall within being a narcissist, or a pure psychopath, or a sociopath or a narcissistic person (not narcissist), or a normal. Including potential comorbidities.
Often, the victims of narcissists assume that their narcissist is an aware one i.e. a Greater narcissist, which turns out not to be the case, as Greater narcissists are extremely rare.
The manipulations and abuse of an unaware narcissist can be perceived as being done as an aware act but there are other factors at play which create that impression.
The majority of narcissists on the planet are unaware even if they may come across as aware and the reality is – Greater narcissists have honed their manipulations to such a degree of being able to nullify any suspicion of being an aware narcissist. Greater’s ability to fit in and being a calculated and social chameleon would not scream of weaving intrigues and plots for his victims to see. Usually the victims of Greaters never find out about them. However there may be exceptions, and you may be one of them.
Best way to determine what the person you’re dealing with is, and understand his mindset, manipulations and what to expect for his next steps (should he turn out to be a narcissist of a particular School and Cadre, or a pure psychopath / sociopath etc.) — is to run him through the Narc Detector.
Christian Bale was only 25 years old when he portrayed Patrick Bateman, deciding to base the character on Tom Cruise, but he basically called Cruise out didn’t he? All during a period when TC was at a peak of his career, loved and celebrated, as the majority was dozing, Bale could see and even mention it, not fearing any repercussions. Does it mean that Bale knew about TC and was convinced to base Bateman on Cruise because of that, or was it just a 100% accurate intuition?
HG! Thank you so much for The Psychopath’s Mask video!! It confirmed a lot!
Where I’ve listened (on YT.ru) to some interviews with psychopaths, and there are more popping up monthly/weekly (for some reason these people enter the stage including some imposters) – they’ve indeed described the “uncanny valley” effect on their default facial expression.
One described being lucky to be born with a friendly face which doesn’t give away what really goes on below, and that’s a plus for him. He, being a pure psychopath, however struggles to make the correct facial expression on certain occasions and it bothers him. For instance when people had an impression that he looked sad he was actually fuming inside and working out a plan for his retaliation against the person. He described some very sadistic stuff he plans out for them but he usually gets distracted and “forgives” the person and moves on.
He said; on the one hand it’s beneficial that his real emotions barely shows and are disconnected from his face thus kept secret, but it’s also unhandy where he can’t feel/manufacture a facial expression in certain situations and thus can foresee that it may become a difficulty at a workplace in the future (he’s a student now) and people could recognise that there is something off about him.
He also described how death and killing of little animals (birds) make him feel alive and also arouses him when he for instance imagines killing a kitten on his lap, he was holding, but because his sister and mother love the kitten he would refrain from doing it.
He was unperturbed, which correlated with how you described that psychopaths can be matter of fact and simply tell the truth.
He had a positive upbringing and his goals in life are just as those of ordinary people; a good life, a good job, a good partner and possibly a family. When describing what type of partner; he described a person who must have strong principles and strong boundaries but he would like for that person to be loyal and obedient at the same time, him stretching/invading those boundaries, also needing to manipulate the partner to a degree.
He also mentioned the problem with boredom playing a major role.
Another pure psychopath (50/50 positive/negative upbringing), also a student, described how difficult it is to withstand his impulses sometimes, but he does it to avoid the consequences.
He wants to push a person onto the tracks each time he sees one standing too close to them. He says that a person who stands too close to the tracks provokes him in a way and he hates stupid people like this.
Same with a dog who lies there calmly as he passes by. He wants the dog to run away in fear because: “Doesn’t the dog know that I can just jump on it and smash it, how dare the dog chill as I pass by, doesn’t it sense who I am?!”
He also very calmly shared that he can imagine how psychopaths’ elites entertain themselves by giving into their impulses secretly, and he knows where human slaves can be bought cheaply to indulge the impulses, should one wish to do so (not him but he knows how others are doing it). At this point the interviewer had a moment of chills as he was reminded by this charming, smiling student of being an intelligent masking predator with a potentially very dangerous skillset and ideas.
But there are also psychopaths on threads such as “Ask a Psychopath” on Pikabu.ru and Reddit (russian speaking, I didn’t read the english speaking yet), and they described being prosocial and don’t like to be associated with the horror stuff and the murderers.
From reading their answers – the necessary triad: power, accumulation and stimulation – served as a thirst for accumulating knowledge and information which made them interesting and insightful among a variety of topics.
For instance he still doesn’t feel remorse, or guilt, or sadness when a member of his family dies, but he feels a lot when a weak person or a weak animal is hurt by someone – he can’t stand it. Because he was loved by his family he hasn’t developed the impulses to hurt others, such is his conclusion.
According to him, an accurate depiction of a psychopath was in the series Hannibal. In how the protagonist interacted with others, is where he saw a similarity, being a social chameleon.
And I also stumbled upon another pure psychopath (YT.ru) who is a hypnotherapist (amongst other professions), who also openly shared how he ticks in order to satisfy the need for stimulation, it’s stunning how matter of fact he describes it. Nothing criminal (as far as he shared) but very different, very alien like. There seem to be circles organised by psychopaths or people with psychopathic traits for psychopaths and people with psychopathic traits. Way too dark and difficult to stomach…
What’s interesting is that some of the psychopaths share about themselves so we’re not limited anymore to the perspective of the low cognitives from behind bars.
Listening to them after having listened to you, HG, makes it make sense of what they describe. There is a huge advantage by linking the information, HG, which you create! Thank you so much!!!
Hey HG,
Just found out there was a time that Priyanka Chopra called herself a friend of TOW. I was wondering if you could do an episode on that.
Thank you for your great work and sending you many sunny regards from Germany!
Josephine! Hi?:
I want to know more! Your response was cut off. Perhaps translation. I ordered Pete walkers book. How does a super empath become a super empath? Etc… please give your insight. I agree a narc is genetic dna and vulnerability plus a traumatic childhood. I think all narcs have CPTSD. But then why can’t it be treated? Thoughts? For years I have been curious about the origins of empaths. And I think it’s genetic plus my family was chockful of them. If anything I felt “ bad” because their virtue intimidated me. You don’t gossip to people who never gossip. You don’t complain to people who don’t complain. You don’t whine about material values who don’t hold material values in high regard only love and family. And people who go to church several times a week… well you see my point. They sewed their children’s clothes, they had large families, they married for life without a single complaint, they greeted everyone with warmth and kindness, they read the Bible, they wore no make up, never had a hairdresser, but were all home makers, a nurse and a social worker…., they kept fit despite 11 children, 9 children, 7 children, 5 children…. They wrote and called me and made me feel loved, a niece among the many! Wrote support. You never heard their desires for a trip or a kitchen upgrade. They spoke about religion and the Bible. They were quiet but intelligent. They disciplined their children and raised them with values but you rarely saw them angry. Christmas was as festive even if the only gifts were handmade slippers from Santa. The older kids gave to the younger and everyone chipped in. All my Aunts had a sparkle in their eye, a big smile and great warmth. I was loved but I did revere them. I always felt a bit unworthy as I love goop and like to travel etc… and I got divorced.. twice.. as did some of their children. No judgment but I will forever marvel at their virtue. My father was pure kindness too. My mother as a good woman but her father was abusive narc, hands down, And I didn’t like him as a small child. I had choices around me. I saw my fathers side and my mothers father and I knew who my role models would be. Even if it was at the hem of their skirts. I knew what pure goodness was. I wanted their approval. I wanted to be like them, even if it fell short, it was the right direction.
So like many there were mostly empaths, a no mal grandmother and a narc grandfather. My father was a definite empath, a folk singer, kumbiya my Lord was actuall A regular song at their parties, my mother was New England practical but a very good mother and wife. Amazing despite her horrific father. So dna and nurture. Anything in Walkers books in contagion?
HG
A male point of view please.
If a woman says hello, to a man, and that she is pleased to meet him. He does not say a single word but scans her face completely. Eyes, eyebrows, hairline mouth etc… What is the purpose of this? Familiarity? Trying to remember a familiar face? Disgust? Attraction? Not one single word. Just a face scan.
She might be shortsighted and is talking to a cardboard cutout in a shop window.
1-What do you prefer? The narcissist part of yourself or the psychopathic part?
2-Do you think that the narcissist part of yourself is a weakness?
3-Can you tell if someone is an empath just by looking at them?
4-How long does it take you to decipher someone is an empath?
5-Can you tell if someone is a psychopath?
6-Do you think like narcissism that there are different levels to ASPD(Psychopathy/sociopathy)
7-Will you continue your psychopathy blog element on your website? I just observed it has not been updated for awhile
8-Do you prefer the hot or cold weather?
9-Red or white wine?
10-Steak? Medium, rare or well done?
Merci for the answers!
1. I find my psychopathy of greater use.
2. No.
3. See Sitting Target.
4. It varies.
5. Yes.
6. Yes.
7. I do not understand what you are referring to. I do not have a “psychopathy blog”.
8. Varies.
9. Varies.
10. Sanguine.
HG, sanguine means very rare?
Bloody.
Yes, it fits your personality. Though, I assume the empaths you eat for breakfast are welldone.
But on a serious note, I know sanguine means blood in French, but I’ve never heard someone says that word to a waiter (maybe it’s European thing or I didn’t notice). And google gives a result for sanguine level of cooking, which looks like rare or very rare. Doesn’t look bloody enough. A bit confusing. I love steaks, especially, after living in Houston for a few years.
HG,
Like a vamp. 😄
7. I do not understand what you are referring to. I do not have a “psychopathy blog”.
All good. I just saw that you have written a book about “Psychopathy” I look forward to reading it!
10. Sanguine. Lovely! Me too. Juicy ruby red.
Thanks for the answers!!
I’m having a deja vu. We had a cutie Anna in the past and she asked the same questions…hot/cold, red/white, medium/rare/done?
Is that you Banana? Where have you been?
Hi Jordy, yes it is me. I have been super duper busy past few months, rarely a moment for myself! Lovely to be back and reading all the updates, videos etc on the blog. Lovely to see you all again and catch up on all the information here.
Bananaaaaa!!!! So awesome to hear from you!!! Super duper busy sounds fantastic!!! You feel good?!! Catch up, yep!!! There is so much new stuff!!! Mwa, sweetie!
Hi Jordy. Thanks, you are so sweet. I am tired, but good thanks for asking. Hope you are ok too?
Yes, lots of blog entries to catch up on. I have been keeping myself busy watching the YouTube videos HG makes. Very good.
Hi again HG, I wondered if you have any observations on the links between illnesses like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue that empaths often get and narcissistic abuse?
Define “often”.
Quite unscientific but it’s been my experience and I feel there’s a link and I notice other empaths seem to have these issues more than “normals” or Ns…
Hello HG:
Morrisey from The Smiths strikes me as a Narcissist. If so or say in general, what’s celibacy all about?
I heard he was looking for a job and then he found a job but heaven knows he’s miserable now.
Johnny Marr is a good judge of character. Plus he’s a City fan.
lol great reply
Is Urquhart an Ultra? Also, Christopher Hitchens: A Very Anti-theist Narcissist? Also Neil Gaiman: A Very Sodomizing Narcissist? Needs must know, Ultra. Chop, chop!
Use Know the Narcissist from the Knowledge Vault, chop chop!
Do all the work myself? Oh, how perfectly tedious. Right. I shall essaie to answer my own question. Urquhart gets caught out at the end of it all. (Please see Crescendo of Collateral Consequences at the end of series.) Ergo, Urquhart equals Nicht-Ultra.
Christopher Hitchens is an AAA-G: Affable Asshole Against God, thus placing said Sir in the Upper Lesser A category. Gaiman of the Grooming skills of a vomitous seventeenth century Caroline courtier sort did manage a facade of Wokism. Indeed there in lay the seeds of my suspicion: Bloke was so Woke he was practically an Insomniac. (Sleep better Sexual Sadist. The masque doth protest too much).
When you can, Earl of Rochester, A Very Poetising Narcissist, Charles II’s dog with six dicks? Nein, mein Herr. I will proceed to answer my own question: Lack of facade, did the Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo till he was quite frankly lamed with lechery. An Affable Asshole. Zounds! The Upper Lesser rears its Sixth Head yet again.
Knowledge Narc detector on the brain. I think I smell smoke. The synapses doth sizzle.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Ricky Gervais, I knew it (I’ve always liked him )!
Congratulations to another superb analysis!
Thank you, Bubbles.
Hi Bubbles!
I was so pleased when I heard Ricky Gervais is an empath. I’ve always liked him too. I knew he wasn’t a narc but I was teetering between normal and empath.
Mr. Tudor,
I hope you’ll give us a breakdown of his schools and cadres too. Thank you for all that you do for us.
Hi HG, Bubbles and Leigh,
Thank you, HG, for the Tudorscope series on Ricky Gervais. It’s really interesting to learn about another empath.
I can see how Ricky’s cadres are Magnet, Saviour and Geyser. I wondered why there was no Carrier in his cadres especially in relation to his long-term animal rescue philanthropy.
The contrasts in Ricky’s schools made me wonder too. As HG explains, his schools are Super (majority), Contagion (minority) and Co-Dependent (minority).
The contrasts in someone else (especially between Super and Contagion) make it easier to understand the contrasts in my own thinking. Super tends to be a no-nonsense kind of attitude that doesn’t tolerate “mickey mouse BS” for long (to use HG’s words). Meanwhile, Contagion still feels the feelings and empathises with someone even though they may be causing the BS. I can see how this causes a push/pull kind of thought process.
In HG’s analysis, it turned out that Ricky has no Standard in his empath schools. I was under the impression that every empath has Standard as one of their schools. Is this correct, HG?
It is inbuilt within the categories of contagion, super and codependency.
WiserNow, as example, I also don’t have Standard school. I believe, it’s not unusual.
Hi Arya,
Welcome to the blog.
It’s really interesting to be here and learn about your own personality and traits, isn’t it?
Hello Ultra
why a MMR B woman choose frequently narcissists a IPPS?
I know MMR B tend to pass themshelves as Borderline or Narcissistic borderline.
Because for example I know a woman (very probably a MMR A AngelWDF narc) who “instinctively identify” and dislikes other narcissists . She is very attracted by empaths as IPPSs. She maybe fuck some Narc sometimes.
Hello HG
can u create more material about the Lieutenant’s seduction?
Can a seductive Turncoat Lieutenant be a narcissist?
She speak “and think” like the narc.
example: ” she wouldn’t mean that, she was just trying to provoke you”
Hello Ultra
when will we know the school and cadre of Bonnie Blue?
Use Know the Narcissist available in the Knowledge Vault.
HG:
Hello. Would you please share Ricky’s classification and cadre. It helps. He is obviously savior or carrier with animals. He is an absolute magnet. I like him a lot especially his devotion to animals. I think geyser too as he often reacts in an over the top way. I don’t see any Co-D or super or contagion or martyr.
But your summer YouTube has been highly entertaining and popular!
Thanks!
Hi Contagious!
I agree. I hope Mr. Tudor shares the schools and cadres. I was thinking standard for Ricky’s school, and maybe a smidge of super (no one is just one school). I definitely see the saviour and/or carrier as regarding animals. I think magnet makes sense too. He’s charismatic. He’s got stage presence.
I didn’t know much about him, prior to the analysis. As soon as I heard about decades of animal advocacy, combined with the clearly stable relationships with his partner and family, I knew he was an empath.
Agreed!
Hi Contagious,
Were you surprised by the Super outcome? I was, but I have not watched any interviews. I know about him, but I have not watched his work.
So into the Christian Bale right now. Can’t wait to hear more. He’s been fascinating.
Annaamel. From the first interaction I had with WhingerNow, she made a long, convicting comment and in the next one she pulled back and changed her mind. It is where I made a note to myself – watch out for this one, she doesn’t have a bone in her. And she continued to be this slimy splash of shifting sands. But the best thing is, she can’t gaslight by stating “I’ve never said that” because it’s all written down. And still you, AA, fall for a narcissist glitching in front of you because you’re wrapped up in your mantle of “good” massaging your big ego.
The whole irony of you accusing JK Rowling of mistakenly believing that she stands up for the underdog, whilst you, AA, are virtue signaling and pulling a stunt of what only looks like an emphatic gesture.
You kept returning to WN in such a desperate attempt as you did with that poor comparison and provocation and obviously want me to repeat all of this, you seem not to be concerned about WN’s well being of an empath (you believe her to be) and not concerned about her whatsoever, by bringing her back into the spotlight of my scrutiny.
WhingerNow believes she is HSP and what not whilst the only HSP she experiences is in relation to a threat to control. And you, AA, believe that you are tea in Markle’s teacup but you are just ordinary water. Water like everybody else.
The capital of your importance however is capacious, one doesn’t need to aim to hit the bull’s eye.
Now you even managed to shite on JK Rowling from your ceiling.
Sorry, she forgot to ask you how to be empathic.
Jordy:
I saw JK as an empath but I follow her and everyday she posts something about trans. Often in a retort. And I think WHY? Today someone posted a pic of her and called her a lesbian. She immediately responds she looks good in that pic and on and on and on and on and on and on and on….everyday. To me it’s like being stuck in a rut of negativity, how does that help? To me, it almost validates the position by giving it a famous voice. If I were her friend, I would say drop the phone, get off of X, let’s build more shelters for woman like Scotland. Now that will help women…maybe it’s a super empath thing but I would shut the door 🚪 n the senseless debate, shut the door on the negative energy, enough has been said, we know your point, your stance your position, and redirect the energy elsewhere. Enough said. Am I wrong?
Contagion,
My guess, she is doing it, cause she enjoys those word battles. She is good with words and can always have a good comeback at someone. It’s her strength, why not to use it. It’s entertaining for her, she is not wounded by others comments. Plus, she can still at the same time be involved in building more shelters for women, not physically, but as an manager/organizing and directing.
Hi Contagious,
You’re not wrong and entitled to your view of course.
JK lives at a different pace and her mind works incredibly efficiently. What you would find tiring, unnecessary or negative, she sees differently and juggles multiple plates with ease.
If you look at all what she does simultaneously — she is a different beast altogether and there are not many who can keep up with what she accomplishes, or get behind the importance of what she does, seeing only a fragment of it.
Contagious: I have questions and concerns about Rowling’s negative, ongoing, online responses.
Jordyguin: you are too simple minded to comprehend JK’s complex magnificence.
“Jordyguin: you are too simple minded to comprehend JK’s complex magnificence.”
Hahaha and you present like someone who doesn’t want to invest in the simplest of mind tasks.
Jordy:
I agree with you, JK is extraordinary which is why I follow her on X and would love to see her rally on multiple topics. I would love to hear about all the multiple plates she is flying. I have read all of her books if not once, twice or more. She is brilliant. This is why it bugs me that every single day she fights with someone on the trans issue getting into go nowhere jabs. I personally think so much more of her. Why does she not write daily about other topics or mix it up or address women’s rights in other ways on her social media platform. But the trans issue is obviously deeply meaningful to her so she addresses it daily. I regularly follow HG but I can’t watch TOW daily while others simply can’t get enough so I guess it is simply a personal preference. To each his own I guess. But I am a huge fan of JK and always will be!
“I regularly follow HG but I can’t watch TOW”
Love, may I ask why? The TOW material is very, very good. It’s just on the surface about TOW but it is about so much more. The brilliance of the series lies in the simplicity of all kinds of examples which are exceptionally digestible and understandable in the way HG highlights them.
The ongoing development of TOW, Harry, their inner and outer circle behaviour plus the many additional information on elements like events and people who become involved allows the variety of examples to align into the totality of the full picture and better understand the separate elements of the construct’s manifestation, even through tiny details sometimes such as body language analysis and other.
I think you miss out on a big chunk of knowledge by skipping this lesson opportunity.
I see the daily TOW material as like going to Tudor school for an hour, or look at it in a way of how other people watch the news daily. I appreciate the series as a required and very pleasant (because of HG’s voice and speech pattern) lesson which keeps me updated until my understanding of narcissism and the recognition of indicators and evaluation process becomes second nature.
I hope you’ll give it a try if your time schedule and activity plans allow it. (I usually listen to TOW in a row as one block when doing house chores, cooking etc.)
I’d say Contagious’s position is indicative of her contagion empathy and it sounds to me like she’s choosing (wisely) what she exposes herself to. I find it hard to understand anyone with substantial contagion finding those videos engaging and I think they resonate and are created for an altogether different audience.
Hi Jordy:
I said I can’t watch TOW daily. I often do but it’s just daily and too much for me. I have found it helpful. But I understand others LOVE it. To be honest, I don’t know why. I have bought all HG ‘s books and his Knowledge vault. I follow him and adore him and appreciate him but while I appreciate HG educates through TOW for me…. Not daily. Here and there:) I don’t think my TOW watching is of interest to anyone at all including ding HG:) and everyone has different interests. Now his empath series, WOW loved it. But I love and follow HG. I think of him as Orson Wells. He is my fireside character. Brilliant!
Contagious,
I agree. Rowling, Gervais, Bale, and now Parton have all been amongst my favorite repeat viewing on Mr. Tudor’s channel. I find them very uplifting. I feel better when I hear about the empaths. And I’m hoping that this is some precursor to more information being shared about the formation of schools and cadres amongst empaths. How do they form…what is the environment…how does a lack of control aspect influence them and how does the style of lack of control–neglect vs Grade B Syndrome–influence the formation of empath schools and cadres.
I like to try to keep up with all the videos, but I have found within the TOW (which I agree can get rather exhausting) that there will be pieces that strike me just differently there or Mr. Tudor adds in a little bit about himself or his background for different reasons. Sometimes the slightly different phrasing is what gets my mind to click with the information. And every tiny detail about Mr. Tudor is a delight to uncover.
What you wrote, AA, re TOW series. Isn’t your statement a generalisation and a put down of the series indicating an “altogether different audience” to which a c-empath can’t belong to?
“I find it hard to understand anyone with substantial contagion finding those videos engaging and I think they resonate and are created for an altogether different audience.”
Do you think HG makes those videos for everybody except the c-empaths? It would mean that those empaths are explicitly left out and can’t learn about narcissism in a way which is easily digestible and providing real life examples happening in real time re TOW and Co.
Let’s analyse: What if you’re coming up with this explanation because you personally don’t like the series but want to make your dislike relevant, attributing it to c-empathy, making you feel sophisticated compared to the “altogether different audience”?
And are we talking about contagion empathy shining through in your statement or are those views connected to the narcissistic traits (of self importance?) coming to the fore?
“Mr. Tudor adds in a little bit about himself or his background for different reasons.”
And he sings there too. At least in the past there was a good portion of singing, hehe.
Hi Annameel:
Yes I have waited years to hear the origins of empaths, cadres and classes. Co-D HG did explain especially in reference to his sister. And Dolly being impoverished, HG said it could go both ways. HG said this helped form her empathy, seeing others suffer and wanting to help. There is a gene too, and her mother was an empath. But the other tip…. HG paused and said “ is this a clue about Dolly?” ( something like that) when he spoke of her love of nature, growing up poor but living in the beautiful mountains of Appalachia that strongly influenced her and she is majority contagion. Her spirituality. Dolly sets aside food on her plate for angels. She is deeply spiritual. She is a devout Christian who grew up in the Pentecostal church and as HG said she grew up with gospel music. So it seems to me that there is a beauty in nature that we all love that helped form Dolly outside of her genes or parents that was a nonhuman part of her environment that shaped her and of course her beliefs were formed from the church too that experience helped form her personality and values etc…. So I wonder if you have the gene but live in a poor environment so your reaction is compassion, if you are surrounded by beauty ie “ Love is like a Butterfly” if you went to a church where values and a way of life is installed and there is a community… these factors outside of parents… are they enough? I don’t know what the nuances are, only tips but yes! I boughy HG pick 20 people and HG will say if a narc or not a narc. I “choose “ 20 empaths, got two wrong. Dolly was top of the list. She is an uber empath, just love her. I love that she is rich and powerful and helps others not hurts others. It demonstrates empathy is powerful and you can get rich by being an empath or get ahead without harming others to do so! Just love this series. My favorite too!
Woo-hoo! ‘HG sings’ is back! I just listened to the ‘reconciliation song’. The gorgeous vibrato on “foolish” made the hair stand up on the back of my neck!!! How dare you be so talented, sir…
In reality it’s the same here, Annaamel: empaths with substantial contagion empathy forgot to ask you how to go about their contagion aspect.
The arrogant manner of your superficial judgement on the TOW series which has opened people’s eyes in relation to narcissism and encouraged them to understand the narcissistic dynamic in a way which is unprecedented, rich in examples, hugely informative, engaging and narrated exceptionally — is most telling. Just so you know, there are people with substantial contagion empathy amongst regular TOW viewers and you would know that if you watched the series and read the comments from users who are regular commenters on the TOW series and commented on other occasions (Empath Detectors/Contagion related videos and other videos) about their results and high contagion percentages.
You are not really involved, not interested, but you crawl from under your rock and want to prove something. Proving only your self absorbed, arrogant, lazy, superficial nature and hypocrisy.
On second date she triangulated me with the ex.
But in a very strange way.
She said “He was an event planner. Do you understand? While your were still studying, he was planning events…”
I remember a sense of disconfort.
Like if I had been covertly insulted.
I was younger then her (7 yo) and he has her same age.
She talked very bad about him , and made a bullettin about his bad behaviours.
Like other exes (abusive exes syndrome)… the first had “cursed” her.
But in this specific case I perceived a sense of anger towards me.
Maybe I said something wrong previously.
Am I righ HG?
Hello RT,
She probably got angry, cause you got jealous on the 2nd date. Or on 2nd date, she realized she didn’t like you that much, and she put you in a friendzone and decided to share her experience with her ex taking you as a friend. Or someone to talk to and/or vent to. It’s not necessary a manipulation of a narcissist.
Spot the difference Annaamel.
a) Determination that a person is a narcissist upon one interview. ONE interview and that’s it.
b) Determination that a person is a narcissist upon personal interactions throughout a long period of time. Observation of reactions. Evaluation of evidence which includes various narcissistic indicators, repeating themselves.
You know exactly that I’ve been pointing at WN’s indicators for a while now, listing the evidence and explaining why. On certain occasions directly to you in our conversations. Which you simply ignore and deny.
Are you pretending not to know and not to see the difference when you quote me and write:
— “However, upon what exactly the determination is built that she is DEFINITELY a narcissist remains a mystery to me. To be so absolute and not regarding any other possibility is a narcissistic trait and a narcissistic indicator of itself, btw.“
“You have concluded that WN is a narcissist.” —
That would be an interesting turn to pretend not to know about the difference of A and B.
What was it again?
“Glibness and dismissiveness are not the way to deal with complex issues…It’s a good reminder for me that Super Empaths are not admirable and likeable just because they are Super. Their views and attitudes need to be admirable and likeable…”
Preach it one more time… To yourself.
“You have concluded that WN is a narcissist.”
100% I have. Upon a mountain of evidence. My personal interaction. Observation of the interaction with others and based upon her reactions.
She produced evidence for years. In archives before me and for years since I’m on the blog.
Your bird of a feather mentality prevents you from seeing this.
Hello Jordy
I thought and hoped Rowling might be classified as a narcissist (despite HG already classifying her as a non narcissist in one of his lists) because I found her views and behaviour objectionable. However she was classified as a super empath. Many of HG’s YT audience thought (and hoped) Greta Thunberg would be a narcissist because they found her views and behaviour objectionable. But she turned out to be normal and affected by her autism and ocd. LET and AV found your views about co-dependency and your refusal to concede to them objectionable and suggested you were a narcissist. I argued you could be a Super and noted your responses could easily fit within that school. You suggest WN’s views and behaviours have been objectionable over a long period and think she is a narcissist. But she could be a Super Empath. She could be somewhere along the autism spectrum. There are other options apart from narcissism. Being laser focused on narcissism as the only explanation for anyone’s behaviour will lead to finding evidence for it everywhere while ignoring any alternative explanation.
Annaamel,
Your response demonstrates that very approach which I criticised about you — broad, superficial and inaccurate statements, without going into detailed analysis and observation of evidence. There is a huge distinction in all the cases which you threw into one. And because of this general approach of yours, you can’t distinguish between narcissism and other possibilities.
Finding something objectionable based upon inattentiveness, lack of knowledge, bias, personal agenda, personal beliefs, personal likes and dislikes — doesn’t count. It’s not evidence.
1. It was just LET who did what she did upon a single comment of mine whilst I was relatively new and the similarity of the Overwhelming Angel/Co-D and Co-D traits irritated me. LET boasted to know it all but didn’t even know the difference of narc schools as it turned out and she was not particularly attentive when working with the articles/books/videos (all demonstrated in her comments on that thread and for instance her inattentiveness on Asylum-Fiona, after which she disappeared btw.). Leigh and AV were supporting her because they were blog-friends. Initially they both were friendly and tried to explain what they perceived as a misunderstanding on my part and they were not arrogant and dismissive like LET.
2. “…your views about co-dependency and your refusal to concede to them…” — You are manipulating and rewriting history, Annaamel.
Firstly, I made lengthy explanations about my views on co-dependency. Secondly, I read the book Chained at that time and understood some aspects of Co-D, but not in depth as I understand more now and continuing to learn about it.
Here is my comment which addresses your lie about the refusal of conceding:
———
June 24, 2023 at 16:15
“LET…I don’t expect you to agree, understand or like. I can express my understanding and go about the topics and engage in your understanding of them or be corrected by HG or you where you see an error on my part. I’m not going to suggest that you save your breath or ’not buy what you’re selling’ and switch to character assassination, because your view, insight, age or mentality differs from mine. And I don’t disagree that what I wrote is an easy one. You may disagree or don’t like what I express or don’t like my contribution or my character or whatever it is. All valid. All your choices to respect. I can take your insight, criticism, disagreement or other verdict and try to deal with it constructively. And I am also pleased to find similar minds to mine or views in your responses I also agree upon.
I found many comments useful to read and contemplate about.
Dear HG, thank you for the moderation of all my comments and what resulted out of them. I apologise if my contribution caused a mislead about aspects of your work, on which I couldn’t express and reflect properly or didn’t understand fully to be able to do so.”
————
3. I did consider other possibilities for WIN including autism. But I will not do the homework for you and provide another lengthy explanation why the other possibilities are not applicable vis a vis her initial and ongoing reactions.
“Being laser focused on narcissism as the only explanation for anyone’s behaviour will lead to finding evidence for it everywhere while ignoring any alternative explanation.”
I didn’t notice any laser focus on your part providing any analysis or evidence for any other alternative explanation. You don’t provide any of it now and you didn’t do so in the past. You don’t list indicators and similarities with other classifications or autistics, don’t list the repetitive behaviour/reactions, don’t list the habitual outbursts, don’t list the ongoing pestering albeit I made it clear to her that for me she is a narcissist (repeatedly! on several occasions!), a year ago, but she still wants to engage me in conversations with her as if nothing happened. You think that’s a Super or an autistic??? You think autistics and Supers are mentally lacking then and have no dignity at all.
What passes you by is that each time I engaged back with her as if she were an empath to prove myself wrong about her — each time she only provided even more evidence in conclusion of narcissism.
And AA, please, don’t make narcissism akin to some form of crime which should not be mentioned. It is a protective mechanism of how a person deals with the world, needing to assert control over other people via their responses/ emotional reactions. The narcissist has a different perception and perspective in relation to themselves and others and out of that the discrepancy is born…
4. You asked AV: “I am interested in is how the Super school presents and wonder what you think…Those narcissistic traits express themselves.”
I would like to return the favor of bringing up the past and provide you with material for analysis in relation to your own character traits which shine through, via an example where you requested an additional “What the Contagion Empath Does” thread in order for you to share how contagion empathy plays out for you and in order for HG to reassess you, publicly. Yep, we’re that important.
You needed an extra clean comment section in order for you to want to do that, plus extra treatment and attention without paying for HG’s time and expertise. (https://narcsite.com/2022/05/11/what-the-contagion-empath-does/#comment-443170)
That’s a self-absorbed character trait — thinking that you deserve special treatment without paying for it, without redoing the ED or organising a consultation for clarification.
Imagine each person doubting their ED outcome would expect HG to provide a new, clean article/thread where they will overshare about themselves in order for HG to focus in depth on them and reassess this “not like other girls” special jewel.
Jordy,
To be clear, even though LET and I are blog friends, that’s not why I said something. I said something because I thought your comment was incorrect. What you were describing in your comment was a victim narcissist not a CoD. I’m married to a victim narcissist. They suck the life out of you and piss themselves and expect everyone to clean it up for them. If a CoD pisses themselves, they clean it up in silence and no one even knows. That’s the difference.
Hello Leigh,
Why are you still married to a narcissist who ” sucks life out of you”?
Hi Arya,
Why am I still married to the narcissist? The short answer is, I’m stupid. LOL! I have to poke fun at myself sometimes. Its really a financial issue. We’ve been together for decades and all of our assets are combined assets. At this time, I’m not prepared to give up half, so I stay.
Hi Leigh,
Thank you for replying. For clarity, whose half don’t you want to give up? Yours? Or His?
If yours – I assume in your country there are good lawyers to prevent that. If his – why he shouldn’t take his half? Even if he is a narcissist, it’s still fair to split in half. Or am I missing something ?
HI Arya,
Its costly where I live so walking away with half would be a huge financial challenge. By staying, I have more financial stability. Its not because he’s the bread winner though. Its because I was the responsible one and squirreled away my money so that I could retire at a reasonable age. He did not do the same. If we divorce, he automatically gets half. That means I’m stuck working longer in order to catch up. Just thinking about that gives me incredible anxiety. For me, financial security gives me peace of mind.
Hi Leigh,
Just saw this reply to Jordy. I agree entirely. I have both a CoD daughter and a victim narc mom, you hit the nail on the head in your description of what makes them different. Thank you.
Yes that is a blast from the past, Jordy. I’m surprised you remember it, but it must have annoyed you at the time and you’ve held onto the resentment until you saw a good time to air it. There was dig implicit in my comment, it’s true, and perhaps you recognised it was at least partially of you. Anyway, i am grateful you added a link so anyone interested can check it out.
It’s unfortunate you cannot reflect on anything I say to you about WiserNow and are immune to any alternative way of thinking. WiserNow is certainly not unaware of your campaign to smear her to other readers all over the blog – she is just not addressing it directly. She is, I’m sorry to tell you, running the show.
BTW I think you have misinterpreted some phrasing in my July 1 comment.
1. “I’m surprised you remember it”
You are surprised that my memory is intact, that’s odd. Don’t be surprised. I happen to remember the variety of characteristics people present with, especially in written form. That’s part of my initial job, to be interested in people’s characters and motives… and remember them.
2. “but it must have annoyed you at the time and you’ve held onto the resentment until you saw a good time to air it.”
Lady, you think very highly of yourself as someone who is capable of annoying people to the point of resentment. My world doesn’t revolve around your selfish tendencies but I have a talent for remembering and finding information. You want to dish out but can’t take it in, it appears.
3. “It’s unfortunate you cannot reflect on anything I say to you about WiserNow and are immune to any alternative way of thinking.”
What is it you’re saying about WN? Where is the list? Where is the evaluation? Where are the pros and cons? You present nothing. Nada. Scroll up and see for yourself.
You want me to simply agree with you. It’s not how it works.
4. “WiserNow is certainly not unaware of your campaign to smear her”
Smearing – means to present a lie or distort the truth about the person. The variety of WN’s truths is open for everyone to see and evaluate for themselves, if they want to, if they happen to stumble upon them, to begin with. And if you’re fine with her cognitive mess, fair enough and I’m not going to argue about that.
But you can’t make me overlook certain statements where they flare up and I point them out. I’m openly critical and my approach comes with the territory of the blog, upon WN initiating a conversation under my comments, or I see the indicators elsewhere and respond to those indicators directly, presenting my arguments of why her responses don’t add up. It is interesting however, how you once again try to distort reality.
Aside from the examples on this thread, here is another recent example of how I’m dealing with WN’s indicators. https://narcsite.com/2025/05/28/narc-island-episode-1/#comment-460860
Don’t be surprised, I remember where to find other examples…
5. “She is, I’m sorry to tell you, running the show.”
Narcissists are naturally running the show and I wouldn’t want to compete with something as effective as a narcissist’s protective mechanism.
And it’s superfluous to state that you’re sorry, that ship has sailed.
6. “BTW I think you have misinterpreted some phrasing in my July 1 comment.”
You forgot to add that it’s because of English.
Hi Annamel,
I had a look at the thread via the link Jordy provided. I remember how confused you felt when you got your results back and I remember discussing them with you at length on that thread.
I just read your asking for a new thread to be opened as what you stated, comments were tricky to find and respond to. I’ll admit to limiting my own responses when reply buttons end up a long way from the original comment or if I have to search through thread pages to find what I’m looking for. It depends how much time and patience I have to trawl and that was a weighty thread, as is this one, so, this might be the only response you get from me on here haha!
I have pondered whether HG’s Contagion school equates to something along the lines of ‘is primarily led by intuition’. If that is the case, then intuition is perhaps what you need to consider when looking at your own Contagion element and how you experience it. What we were discussing on that thread was more to do with different ways intuition can manifest. Overall, intuition has a lot to do with information filtering and pattern recognition that takes place in the subconscious. Looking at things from that angle might help shed more light if more light is still required!
Xx
TS, hi! Yes, we were discussing intuition and all kinds of things, pondering on “what the contagion does”. The more inapt AA’s request and cutting through the group dynamic with the new (selfish) thread request whilst she didn’t want to be part of pondering initially but had to be basically integrated by others like a child lead by the hand “come and play with us it’s fine” and she still didn’t like it and exited the thread with “Oh poop” after she didn’t get what she wanted. https://narcsite.com/2022/05/11/what-the-contagion-empath-does/#comment-443735
Some time later she wrote that she didn’t like how the contagion is discussed on the blog which tells you everything. Again she doesn’t participate in those discussions but passes her judgement on them without ever investing in a discussion making it “better” from her point of view presenting her side etc. adding diversity.
It is an entitled general groove she moves to whilst wanting to discuss and generalise how Super’s are too narci or how JK Rowling is not being a good girl not doing what AA thinks is right.
To request a new feed just because she supposedly can’t navigate a feed (whilst others perfectly can and do) and ask HG to reassess her publicly just because she is not into dreaming, promotions or picking up on the emotions of others, is not a reason for justification of the entitlement whilst she doesn’t want to invest in the exchange or in the research to begin with or to invest in it privately within a consultation or by redoing the empath detector if she thinks she was too hasty.
TS, my apologies for the grammar mistakes in my previous reply to you. I’m uninspired and ignore the corrections etc. when losing interest (in this case in the attitudes of particular readers) and was not a disrespect to you. The demonstration of your kindness and seeking fairness approach throughout your communication on the blog is what’s representative of Super traits outweighing the narci traits, in my opinion, re the discussion of Super traits on JK Rowling feed. (And I still think that the narci traits are an important add-on for a healthy balance as in JK’s case or other similar cases and are not problematic, but anyways)…
…The clairvoyant thing still boggles my mind, haha… And what happened at home when you had to check out for a while and stay at your friend’s place. Something transcended ‘the border’ on that day(s) and could not be explained, is what comes to my mind…
I thought about this. The clairvoyant was asking each time for your permission “I was asked if I wanted to hear the message”.
I’ve heard that originally they need your permission in order to open your files so to speak. And when you enter those rare people’s territory the permission comes from your side as you allow them to enter the maze of possibilities of your fate, on which they’ll be able to tune in with their antenna. And it depends on their antenna maintenance (personal development: dark/light or neutral) and on the width of the antenna (into the streams of possibilities) and on the frequency reading/data analysis (perception followed by accurate interpreting ability) in order to work out an insight on the closest and probable future outcome. This is how I assume how it works.
Other probable or improbable or less probable future outcomes would also have been morphing in your files but the clairvoyant’s antenna width was qualitative enough in order to tune into the accurate frequency and on the most probable and clear outcome stemming from your individuality choices and actions… If his antenna width would have been narrower he might have had a different prediction stemming from less reading keys, less antenna width and less tuning ability.
The prediction from a narrow antenna width could be: Each person could die by an accident the moment they exit their home but it takes a wider width to see that it would not occur. Thus the predictions such as “world’s end is coming next month” don’t manifest because it’s the most primitive prediction so to speak. One needs a wide antenna width in order to see how the butterfly effect impacts an almost endless number of fates who are involved in a world’s fate…
Also let’s say if your clairvoyant’s prediction would have been of negative nature, the question becomes: does your will, your choices and actions impact on your future and fate? Or is it carved in stone? I don’t think so because of the brain’s plasticity and evolving factor… If one continues the course of their actions and choices within a certain stream – the closest probable future outcome based on that – manifests, if not, a different possibility becomes reality. Probably explaining the cases where the clairvoyant’s prediction was wrong i.e. did not manifest because of the individual’s different choices and individuality development or the absence of development – taking a different course. Or simply it was a narrow width prediction…
The other thing: when grandpa offered his help “If I ever needed him, I just needed to call and he would be there”.
Let’s say if there was an absent act of permission from you for “the call” to be taken, who knows how that inorganic call offer (from the grandpa or something else pretending to be grandpa) could be laid out and interpreted by the entity from the other side, followed by whatever contact initiation haunting you away from home on that day. And when at your friend’s place and you did not want the situation to continue – the permission for contact was mentally (and/or verbally) withdrawn. The energetic i.e. mental protector shield, which extends to your home territory, was activated and the paranormal was forced to vanish from your territory and around you, being forced to respect boundaries of a physical entity – you – being the stronger power holder…(the physical entity being more powerful than the non physical entity because overall possessing all components creating physical reality which takes physical energy in a physical body which the non physical entities don’t possess, if we assume they “exist”…)
This is my interpretation of what I think happened…
Hi TS. Thankyou for your comment.
I totally agree with you on this: ‘intuition has a lot to do with information filtering and pattern recognition that takes place in the subconscious.’ That’s how I think it works.
Hi annaamel and TS,
TS,
“Overall, intuition has a lot to do with information filtering and pattern recognition that takes place in the subconscious.”
This is very much the way HSPs process information; recognise patterns; and reflect and interpret the information they see and hear.
Thanks for pointing that out, TS.
It appears that previous references about high sensitivity on the blog have resonated with you.
annaamel,
“It’s unfortunate you cannot reflect on anything I say to you about WiserNow and are immune to any alternative way of thinking. WiserNow is certainly not unaware of your campaign to smear her to other readers all over the blog…”
Thank you for your comment here, AA.
I think Jordyguin does reflect on the things you say.
I think that not only does he/she “reflect”, the smearing is also a way to discredit and devalue ideas that are then attributed to others.
It’s a form of plagiarism and devious imitation.
Hello again annaamel,
Following on from my previous comment, it would be appreciated if you could stop talking about me with Jordyguin.
“she still didn’t like it and exited the thread with “Oh poop” after she didn’t get what she wanted.”
I said Oh poop because I accidentally posted a comment meant for another thread in this one.
“Following on from my previous comment, it would be appreciated if you could stop talking about me with Jordyguin.”
Noted.
Hi Jordy,
No need to apologise at all, punctuation is not my strong suit at the best of times and I certainly wouldn’t judge you for the odd spelling mistake or typo!
Thank you for the compliment. I do try to estimate both sides when I read more heated discussions or debates. The written word is often subject to the interpretation of the reader. The interpretation of the reader is itself influenced by past interactions, frame of mind at the time of reading and cultural differences in the mode of expression chosen. I’m sure there are plenty more influences that we could name but those three aspects are most likely to colour interpretation of a comment in my view. I remember commenting to online narc that the written word felt to me like ‘flying blind’. The various senses I use to ascertain meaning or intent are largely disabled when simply reading. I suppose that online ensnarement taught me a lesson; my interpretation is not always the correct one. Overall, I think we do very well with the discussions we have on the blog, misunderstandings are rare, but they do occur and when they do, each reader has a choice in terms of their input moving forward.
Thank you also for acknowledging my point about SE’s and their narcy traits. My objective there was not to discount the narcy traits, but simply to remind people that the SE is more than just those traits alone. She has elevated empathic traits too, those are spoken about less often but they are equally if not more important when examining SE behaviour. I for one am now at ease with my narcy traits. I credit them with keeping me safe on several occasions and sane on numerous! Pride and vanity are my strongest traits but defiance is up there too. My daughter is high in defiance and argumentativeness yet we keep a very even balance and very rarely fall out. Her defiance is noisy and demonstrative, mine is quiet and uncompromising. Both of us agree, it’s often not worth the battle!
Thank you for your thoughts about the clairvoyant episode. I’ll ponder those further and respond to you in a separate comment.
Thank you, annaamel.
“I think that not only does he/she “reflect”, the smearing is also a way to discredit and devalue ideas that are then attributed to others. It’s a form of plagiarism and devious imitation.”
Sorry, this doesn’t make sense. I’m too dumb to understand what this is supposed to mean… Annaamel you were correct: “Jordyguin: you are too simple minded…” — Agree.
“I said Oh poop because I accidentally posted a comment meant for another thread in this one.”
lol you’re excused then.
“Noted”
I hope the actual contradictory correspondence, from the person you rode into battle for, will one day be noted by you as well.
Hi Jordy,
I have a comment still in moderation referring to the first part of your comment to me, so I won’t repeat myself here. In it I stated that I would like to ponder your thoughts about the clairvoyant episode and would get back to you in a separate comment.
I finished pondering.
The concept of antenna is an interesting one as I often think about these things in terms of ‘bandwidth’ so, a similar analogy. If we look at psychic ability in terms of possible outcomes then antenna / bandwidth would logically play a part.
Looking for a logical explanation is tricky given the accuracy and level of detail provided by this particular clairvoyant. He drew on past, present and future events from my life timeline. He drew on connections to me personally, familial, ex boyfriend, current boyfriend and future familial ( Sam and Sophie). I do think that clairvoyants have a different concept of time. For most, time is linear, but if you held a piece of rope (representative of time) and looped it, you could view time differently. Manipulate the rope differently and the past and future could look far closer to the present. So in terms of clairvoyance, my instinctive feeling is that it is linked to a different perspective on time. This time perspective might also tie in to what you describe in terms of antenna.
Secondly, in many ways it takes two to tango. Interestingly, the clairvoyant did not detect anyone in the room for my friend Katie. Her reading was therefore all tarot card, no clairvoyance. For me that adds credibility. If he was a charlatan, he would have created a presence for Katie. He didn’t. Katie really wanted to hear from someone, but sadly no one was present. With me, I had two people present, both ‘strong’ presences where the clairvoyant could give detail. In terms of antenna, they also need a signal to work. Perhaps I transmit the required signal, and Katie doesn’t.
In terms of the days that followed, it’s very possible that my imagination ran riot and the sense of being a visitor in my own apartment was simply an overactive imagination triggered by the unusual experience of the reading. It’s possible and can’t be discounted. However, I know my own mind and I am not easy to wrong foot. I know what I felt and it was crystal clear to me that MY space, MY beloved apartment was occupied with something other than just me. I can be bullish, I did actually make logical moves and stick it out for several hours but there comes a point where if my intuition is screaming at me to leave, I leave. My senses were screaming for a reason, in my view to ignore that is as stupid as ignoring the sense you are being followed walking home late at night. Intuition developed for a reason, I’ll question it, look for logical explanations because I’m cynical but ultimately, I’ll listen. That’s what I did when I grabbed my wallet and keys and walked out of my own space.
You’re right, I did not give my permission and this is key. You’re right also that I am the stronger energy. I returned a few nights later with that in mind. MY space, ‘you’ don’t have my permission to enter. So the feeling going back was combative and stubborn, it wasn’t fear. I knew as soon as I walked through the door, the only energy in there was mine. No need for the Mexican standoff, but I was definitely ready to stand my ground in my own space.
The whole experience really bothered my dad. He wasn’t happy at all that I had gone to see a clairvoyant. My dad has seen and heard my grandad numerous times since he died. He drove three hours to check my apartment a few days after I returned. He agreed with me that the space was fully mine and gave the all clear.
I do agree with you; permission is important and yes the clairvoyant did ask my permission at various points through the reading. I didn’t expect the experience to turn out the way it did. I’m a cynic more than a ‘believer’ but, I am also very aware that I actually have no desire to see or interact with anything other than the world of the living. I do not give my ‘permission’ and I do not try to ‘see’. Basically, my view on it is “Don’t mess with things you don’t understand.”
Despite the accuracy of the reading, which obviously only fully revealed itself over time, I have never and will never allow any reading to influence my decision making. I run my own show, I am in full control of my own destiny. I set aside the reading, didn’t really think about it too much, certainly didn’t refer to it or allow it any influence but, when I do look back at it now, it is remarkable how accurate he was.
Thank you for sharing your views on it Jordy.
TS, I absolutely believe you that you perceived a foreign presence occupying your space. And you were lucky enough to be a grownup by that time so you could leave and also transmit your boundaries standing your ground. For small children it never occurs that they have a saying in it as well.
When I began my research I found a plausible explanation at last which is: Existence has multiple variants, organic and inorganic and the latter are pure energetic entities who also possess consciousness like us but no physical options of experiencing physical reality as we can.
There are different theories and one is that inorganic life could “exist” at the same spot as ours, occupying the same space and either it purposefully seeks contact with us (and us with them) because we’re factually neighbours, or cracks in the matrix enables the meeting now and then, or it’s both.
Some people seem to have an energetic opening in their overall constitution which flares up on a radar inviting the inorganic life to ring through, to try and make contact, but because “their form” is so foreign to our physical form and differently build (different frequency and density) – the encounter can scare us to death and our psyche has developed coping mechanisms which makes us “unsee” in order to protect us from an unprepared collision which would tear down our beliefs on reality and dismantle our whole system profoundly changing our ideas of what we are, and what life and death and reality could be.
And clairvoyants as in your experience, by entering the time-rope serve as a reminder for the “opening gates” and probabilities.
Whatever appeared and forwarded information to you and potentially attached/followed you (either the same entity or a completely different one, or indeed a soul from your physical lifeline) – it did it on the basis of you possessing a transmitter for receiving the signal and the ability to sense the energetic presence of a pure energetic entity. And interestingly enough your dad has the same predisposition for sensing where we could speak of a genetic predisposition which he passed on to you… My mind goes in all kinds of directions about what a genetic predisposition could be and why… A fascinating thing.
I think understanding “the other kind” – what HG reveals, is the key. And I suppose Fuel is a universal currency. Think of how emotional prayers or monologues with invisible entities can be, directing emotional output into the ether (at spiritual gatherings and so on). Who knows whose idea it was and how it all came to be? Did we start it? Or them? Or is it a natural evolution of things where we simply must learn to differentiate what we’re doing and where it leads us…
Hi Jordy,
I think it’s interesting to ponder possibilities in terms of why certain people like the clairvoyant have access to information that they haven’t acquired via the usual means. The question is very much, “How did he do it?” Perhaps there are numerous realms that exist in parallel, perhaps time in and of itself is not linear and we as humans only experience it in a linear fashion. This would point to perception and we have learned here that reality and how it is experienced is in fact based on perception, there is no definitive reality that is identical for all.
Maybe the matrix idea is not as crazy as it sounds and in actual fact with the advent of AI plus a more fluid perspective on time, the matrix theory can almost sound plausible.
Perhaps it harks back to ancestry, where a hive mind might well have been in play. It would certainly be advantageous to know where other members of your clan were located when hunting or under threat from predators. As a species we are losing our ability to think critically, we don’t exercise the muscle as often, information is now at our finger tips. Maybe clairvoyance was just another skill we lost along the way.
Sometimes I think it’s ok to not have an explanation, doesn’t stop us searching though! Part of being human, the need to know and explore possibilities, if we hadn’t done that we would still be living in caves.
If a sensitivity to inorganic ‘energies’ is hereditary, and if I possess it at all, then yes, genetics wise my dad is the source. He is also the person who bestowed my emotional empathy. HG’s word ‘bestow’ I loved the way that was phrased. When I think of bestow I think of to bestow a gift and I do believe that emotional empathy is a gift, something to be cherished.
The only time I can remember my dad being angry with me throughout my entire life was in response to my telling him about the clairvoyant. It wasn’t anger exactly, more “What the hell were you thinking?” He is definitely more open to the idea of a spiritual realm than I am, but then he has reason to be. The funny thing is he is an atheist, full on hard atheist but he does believe in spirits / energetic entities. The two don’t things don’t fully marry up really, an atheist with spiritual belief but that’s just how he sees things, rightly or wrongly.
I do agree that emotions carry energy, fuel is a concept that is audible and visible. There is a real energy transmitted through an emotion laden voice, many living things respond to this energy, not just narcissists. The key difference I think is the way such energy is utilised. We know that energy cannot be destroyed, it simply transforms. When you look at it this way, it isn’t entirely unreasonable that energy from past generations is still around, it might be that most of us have simply forgotten how to access it. Those who do access it might just have more knowledge to work with, hereditary knowledge, rather than the standardised form we are used to.
I agree with you, the energy from a congregation praying for the same thing in unison would stand out in terms of magnification. Rather than asking who started it, I think perhaps this form of combined energy was something that simply evolved. People probably felt energised / empowered and this in itself might have acted like a magnet for the energy left behind from generations past.
Honestly, I’m agnostic in terms of this. I’m open to possibilities and new explanations but I’m also someone who requires proof and thus far this arena is light on proof. Ironic really but physics is probably the discipline that could supply proof or disprove many of these ideas and it doesn’t get much more logical than physics.
Interestingly, the only exam I flat out failed was Physics. A spectacular fail in fact. Can’t possibly think why !
We use slightly different terminology but I think many of our ideas have a similar base. Very interesting to discuss with you Jordy.
I really enjoyed this response, Truthseeker. Reading your responses often makes me feel much better.
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-21/#comment-461335
Thank you for sharing it. And thank you, Mr. Tudor, for posting it.
Hi Dani,
Thank you for your lovely comment. I actually filled up when I read it. (In a good way!)
Xx
TS, totally “how did he do it”?!! The details…Mind boggling! Your babies weren’t even there yet, you know what I mean?? They were just … you name it, a light shimmer somewhere, so yes it’s the time, as you say. Time can’t be how we experience time. I’m sure you’ve heard when someone described how they can see bullets in slow motion fired at them, when time stretches.
Lol I don’t mind going back to caves because speaking of caves, time and ancestors, from what I’ve heard they used caves for sensory deprivation in order to transgress physical boundaries for out of the body experiments. Caves known for a time phenomenon are for instance the Cacahuamilpa caves in Mexico. You have to visit those if you ever have a chance. There is a vortex https://oceanposse.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/grtuas-3-1024×683.jpg A really strange naturally built thing. The whole place is surreal, I don’t know how else to describe it – it’s alive. When I visited it, my group was told to be very alert and to stop all dialogues internal and external, otherwise… The feeling from that place is still with me and I cannot describe it, it’s really strange. So yeah if back to caves – then this, please. I didn’t wanna leave. Still dreaming of it.
It’s not the only place of course, these natural spots can be found elsewhere. Nature has bridges for this. One gotta search and as you say our ancestors had a better connection to find this kind of thing and hey, you’ve inherited it! And I understand your dad, spirits and energy and religion are slightly different things, absolutely.
What you’ve touched upon re fuel is really very interesting, I have to think about it longer. As I say, I think fuel is the key. And “proof” – it is complicated. We have feelings and logic. Ideally they should collaborate.
I love your pondering TS!
‘You forgot to add that it’s because of English.‘
Perhaps but your English is excellent. I’d be more likely to attribute it to heightened emotions (contempt?) or fast reading and responding.
You interpreted my post as suggesting you would not concede and wrote a long defence of yourself including calling me a liar but I what I had suggested was that LET, AV and Leigh *believed you weren’t conceding* and that’s why they began insulting. My comment was about them, not you.
You also misinterpreted my post about simple mindedness and assumed I was calling you simple minded. I wasn’t.
Hi Jordy,
The Cacahuamilpa caves look amazing. You know I do wonder sometimes if rather than sensing a presence in places like that, it’s actually the opposite. The caves remove the ‘noise’ so what you actually sense is your own self in its purest form. A kind of fast track to deep meditation which seeks to do the similar thing.
I do think the modern world is filled with noise and distractions, more so than ever before and more so than our brains were ever designed to process.
Coincidentally, and of course if HG allows there is an interview with
Donald Hoffman that I listened to yesterday. It’s the most recent upload on the ‘Diary of a CEO’ YouTube channel. I think you would find it fascinating, it touches on things we have been discussing.
It’s interesting. Perspectives and how we see the world through our own lense. HG has been driving this home in terms of narcissism since I landed on his blog and yes I do understand, but I understand in a kind of “follow the framework” way. I didn’t deeply understand if that makes sense? It’s only very lately that I think I am fully starting to grasp that concept. When I take that idea of differing perspectives and expand it, it does give rise to some fascinating ideas about the nature of consciousness and the physical aspect of being human. If consciousness existed before our physical form, then it follows that it will exist after.
I think you might find that video interesting too HG, it’s quite scientific, which I think you’ll appreciate. I’ll post the link just in case you have a long drive coming up!
https://youtu.be/W0vTZrZny6A?si=VAxKy02VR7-dqk7K
Annaamel,
“what I had suggested was that LET, AV and Leigh *believed you weren’t conceding* and that’s why they began insulting. My comment was about them, not you.”
I did not insult anyone in the above referenced conversation.
We lost a beautiful blogger over that fiasco and instead ended up with you and Jordy, yes, you can take that as an insult if you like.
Stop speaking for and about me. If you must speak to me, don’t expect a reply.
“We lost a beautiful blogger over that fiasco”
The blogger was led by emotional thinking to which she succumbed. Wanting to be able to dish out and being unable to take it in, is not beautiful.
TS! “The caves remove the ‘noise’ so what you actually sense is your own self in its purest form.” – exactly! By being a geological time scale which formed millions of years ago as it was submerged under the ocean where marine sediments accumulated to form a thick layer of limestone…The flow of water over millions of years created a system of underground rivers. These rivers carved out the immense chambers and tunnels that make up the cave system… Water seeping through the rock ceiling drips into the caves, depositing tiny amounts of dissolved minerals and over an immense period of time, these deposits build up to form stalactites hanging from the ceiling and stalagmites rising from the floor where the drops land, forming figures, columns, curtains, draperies and so on. Or more accurately this is what people perceive when going through the cave which has to do with the pareidolia phenomenon, which is the psychological tendency to perceive a specific, often meaningful image in a random or ambiguous visual pattern…
But aside from all of that — sensing your own self in its purest form — is initialised and catapulted by this pure formation of nature’s art piece which connects with our sensing of our own formation going back to millions of years. When being in the presence of the reminder of ‘time’ which was made visible by nature in the form of stalagmites and stalactites – frozen in time but also continuing to live on and build. You basically are looking at an art piece which took millions of years and tells a story of “you”… The modern world with its short term “creations” can’t give you that sense of overwhelming awe and reminder… Which segways into what you mentioned about perspectives, consciousness and differing lenses. Whilst there is a difference there is also a huge similarity to all of our processes in how we deal with reality or what we believe to be reality. Which makes us so unshakable in our behaviour and belief pattern until something occurs which shows us a different picture…
I will check out the scientist you mentioned, TS! Thank you for sharing that, I didn’t know about him.
Annaamel, they were not insulting, relax. Being called a narcissist is not an insult, the labeling describes a personality disorder of various degrees, but if someone thinks the label is an insult, fair enough.
It is not uncommon for an abuser to excuse a victim’s response to said abuse on a perceived fault within the victim. Quite common, actually, as we learn here. A victim who then takes what they’ve learned here to heart and walks away is no longer a victim. A beautiful thing.
Jordy,
It is not uncommon for an abuser to excuse a victim’s response to said abuse on a perceived fault within the victim. Quite common, actually, as we learn here. A victim who then takes what they’ve learned here to heart and walks away is no longer a victim. That is a beautiful thing.
“We lost a beautiful blogger over that fiasco and instead ended up with you and Jordy, yes, you can take that as an insult if you like.”
AV, the “fiasco” was in June 2023 and LET was active on the blog until January 2024 and continued commenting and engaging with you, with HG and with other readers, and stopped her activity in 2024, from my memory her last activity was on The Asylum of the Grotesque: Fiona: January 2024 (perhaps you want to consider checking the evidence and reading the feed of articles from 2023-2024 for yourself to find LET there). After that I personally didn’t see LET around but she might have stayed even longer.
My previous comment re LET’s emotional thinking and her dishing out, referenced only her activity in relation to me in June 2023. I was relatively new and personally only got to know her not so beautiful side and after that I didn’t engage with her and was not interested in finding any possible beauty in her personality. The reason for her departure in 2024 is not familiar to me and would be speculation.
You have stated that you have ended up with AA and me, instead of your preferred blogger due to the fiasco in 2023. And yet you seem to have forgotten the long period in which she continued to happily engage on the blog, including with you, until 2024.
Alongside the forgetting issue, I’ve long suspected that you might be on the autistic spectrum due to your interpreting neutral comments as an attack upon you and your unmerited reactions to those comments, see your reactions to NarcAngel’s recent neutral comment and see your reaction to my recent comment and your response, you obviously naming me an abuser and LET a victim of my abuse who is no longer a victim because she walked away, in your version as a result of the “fiasco”, where you placing the responsibility for her departure just on others and paint her as a healed victim who is no longer a victim.
You mentioned in the past that people perceived you as dumb and unfortunately you can come across as such but I think the difficulty simply lies in the neurodivergent aspect.
I see a major difficulty for myself to continue any further engagement with you even though you’re an empath, but your interpretation of comments and commentators on the blog are problematic due to what I think comes from neurodivergence and I’m not willing to put myself through that experience again by engaging with you.
My apologies for any misunderstandings on my part and I appreciate your ongoing support of HG and the people you have formed friendships with on the blog and wish you all the very best in your private life and on the blog.
TS, hi! I watched the CEO’s and Mr. Hoffman’s conversation! Thanks again for sharing it! The scientific part pointing at the infinite sequence of theories was an awesome exploration in how he explained it as a scientist! And only Mr. Hoffman’s personal reasoning on some aspects came from a different place I think which I’d like to mention because I couldn’t connect to some of his final conclusions and here is why.
I think it may have to do with his discharged battery – low energy state at that moment, which automatically changes everything. If energy is present, no matter what your age is — energy makes you burn for life, burn for experiences, discoveries, achievements and accomplishments and burn with enjoyment of being full of energy and thriving and achieving. Where Mr. Hoffman unexpectedly poured water on that fire: — “I don’t need to get anywhere. I don’t need to accomplish anything. I don’t need to succeed at anything to become what I need to become. I’m already the infinite… I don’t actually need to impress anybody, accomplish anything because everything that I’m saying I’m already making this all up. This is already me. I’ve already done all this. What more do I need to do? I am transcendent. I am completely transcendent of this thing.”
I do believe that there’s an aspect in us which is infinite, free, independent and is our creational force, absolutely! But I also believe that never ending thriving, succeeding, accomplishing and continuing to get everywhere where we wish to is in direct connection and fueled by our infinite nature and not in contrast with accomplishments, achievements and so on. Nor do I see a problem or a hindrance in competing, be it proving to others your results and achievements, finding inspiration and motivation in your allies or opponents, or impressing, or standing for whatever one thinks is important to stand for, doing it next to those who are doing their own thing as well.
And having the new additional insight of the motives and drivers of people, via HG’s framework, it only has become more fascinating to explore humanities dynamics in regards where the above is applicable or should be better avoided.
I also noticed a possible compartmentalization and his stronger focus on suffering: — “This is just my avatar. It’s not me. So my suffering is because I made this avatar. I let myself on purpose be identified with the avatar knowing that I would be suffering. So I’m suffering because I’m identified with the avatar…”
This view is a common belief in spiritual traditions where physicality and the ego is branded as the reason for unavoidable suffering and the ethereal is worshiped as the opposite, and supposedly only by disengaging from the physicality and the ego one achieves freedom, transcending the suffering. Either via death or through spiritual practices where one disengages from the “avatar”. Where I don’t know if it’s actually deadening of one’s individuality or a form of a healthy distancing from emotional thinking by using logic and critical thinking? I see two possibilities where gurus mention it. But personally I’m against the destruction or silencing of the ego and here again HG’s framework explains it better than gurus. Narcissistic traits+empathic traits are totally fine. Logic and critical thinking (for which the ego is required!) is preferred over emotional thinking and empathy remains in the optimum version…
He also expressed disappointment over his meaning for future generations which I found rather sad. To my mind he wants to matter but because he already claimed physical life as not “enough/true reality”, as an illusion, as a simulation, as a virtual reality in his prior musings, he had no other option than to take the stance of indifference: — “Thousand years from now, is anybody going to know our name? No. Anybody going to care? No. So, that’s really important to see. No one’s going to care. And does that mean that I’m worthless? I’m pointless? I’m meaningless? No, it means you’re infinite and this is just one of the games you’re playing… then I realised no one’s going to really care and in fact you know what, I don’t really even care, that was just a game I had to play and I’m not that and I learned that I transcend that…”
Actually the future generations will care if he would care to begin with. Care to take life as that very most important reality, the only reality we have in fact. Care to make the air – cleaner, the water – less poisonous, the food – nutritious, and living environments – prosperous. That’s what living breathing organisms and conscious beings truly care about and will remember and thank for, I think, it’s the starting point. Not to mention all the discoveries he has made and want to continue to achieve in his field. And if we believe and assume that consciousness of individuals will rise and flourish it would mean that future generations will honor their ancestors and will learn from their achievements and mistakes. Their ancestors’ solutions will be put into account and the consequences directly experienced, remembered and cared about. Either thanked for or objected and reshaped or replaced with more desirable outcomes.
He mentioned in the beginning: — “From an evolutionary point of view, perception is expensive. It takes a lot of calories. You have to eat a lot of food to run your brain and to power your eyes and your ears. And so you need to do shortcuts. You need to make your sensory systems not chew up so much of your energy. The more expensive your perceptual systems are, the more you’ve got to eat to power those.”
I think it’s a misconception because people also came to realise that one needs nutritious food and the amount of it can become less where the effect becomes more. And it depends on what your organism is asking for in smaller or bigger amounts. I think perception will only become expensive if one uses the bare minimum of high quality resources without filling them up in a sensible way when nature designed it for humans initially, their organisms being the perfect guide and measuring tool… The entire magnificence of organisms interplay will reappear on humanity’s radar, I believe, and aggregate the perception abilities…
Well Jordy, autism might be right, I know there’s a little ADHD and OCD and CPSTD, might as well as to the list. Was that suppose to be a criticism, is so, why? Rhetorical, you are in the same boat as AA for me going forward.
FWIW, which I’m sure isn’t much, I largely took a break from the blog after that fiasco so I may have missed comments others posted. I know LET has not been seen nearly as much since, as she was prior, except perhaps in the private forums, I haven’t gone into those recently.
“Preferred blogger”, absolutely.
“a criticism, is so, why?”
No, AV.
It’s better if you do your own research.
I don’t have the necessary insight into the autism spectrum.
Hi Jordy,
You’re welcome, I’m glad you found the interview interesting.
Yes, I agree with you I think Hoffman was far better at explaining the scientific reasoning behind his theory than the implications of what it means for us all, if his theory is true.
When Hoffman states, “I don’t need to get anywhere, I don’t need to accomplish anything because I am already transcendent” it does sound defeatist. In context of the whole though he also states that people should “do science” and experience this headset to the fullest. I think quite possibly what he was meaning with his more defeatist sounding statement was that people should go out, live life as their avatar, learn, experience but also place these experiences in context of something greater, something that exists beyond our experience as our avatar ( human body).
I agree, striving and achieving are positive attributes and as we have learned here, traits can be positive or negative depending on how they are used, narcissistic traits can be healthy but unfettered they become unhealthy. Sitting still and thinking “I don’t need to do anything because I am already transcendent” does nothing for the collective consciousness and if Hoffman is correct in his thinking that this consciousness is trying to see and understand itself through the experiences of a variety of different headsets, then defeatism wouldn’t achieve this.
My view has always been that people are the point of it all. Our interactions, choices, relationships, decisions don’t exist in a vacuum they ripple outwards into the world and have impact. My own ethos is based closely on what Hoffman advocates in the event that his scientific theory is correct, essentially “Do as you would be done by.” If there is one collective consciousness for all, then loving your neighbour as yourself does make sense because your neighbour is yourself ( just in a different headset). I can agree with him here.
Where I disagree is in relation to his views on pain and suffering. This is a question often posed in religious context. If God is love why does he allow suffering? I am not religious so will not enter into a religious discussion, however, Hoffman equates Jesus on the cross asking God to forgive his persecutors as being an act of love. Therefore it follows we should love our enemies. Should we therefore show love to our narcissistic abusers? Is it necessary to forgive? Turn the other cheek perhaps? For me, that’s a resounding no. Abuse is abuse. I don’t love people who hurt me. I don’t forgive them and I don’t forget either. What I do is accept. I accept what happened and why it happened. I accept my part in the dynamic and I accept I cannot change or fix my abuser. I accept and then I move on.
I actually think that it’s acceptance that is key for a productive conscious experience, not love as is often suggested or the pursuit of happiness. People often can’t fully describe happiness but seem to spend an awful lot of their life chasing it. For me, acceptance of the vagaries of life, the seeming unfairness, pain, suffering, desire for love and connection, even forgiveness can best be addressed by acceptance. There were several points during the interview where Hoffman used the word love when in actual fact I got the feeling that what he actually was describing was more in line with acceptance. That isn’t me advocating lying down and playing dead, giving in to abuse or mistreatment, far from it. It’s more to say that sometimes, despite your best efforts, shit happens, life isn’t fair, so rather than allow this to consume you, accept it, make changes, move on. Ironically, in doing so I think it’s highly likely people would find the happiness they seek in one of its forms. Chasing anything too hard whether it be success, wealth, love, happiness doesn’t always yield the desired result. Perhaps this is what Hoffman was driving at without actually clearly verbalising it. Be the best avatar you can be in this game of life or this version of reality but place it in context. Don’t trouble yourself with ego, with comparing yourself to others or incessantly feeling the need to keep proving your worth because one day the headset will be removed (death) and your attachment to your avatar ( physical form) and it’s achievements will cease to be relevant. ( I think this was also his point with regards to his work and legacy.) The conscious part of you, the part that isn’t confined to a an avatar held within a ( apparently inaccurate) concept of space and time, is the part that transcends, not the avatar, so being less attached to this physical aspect is likely a positive thing.
That’s what I interpreted as being his message in context of the whole but I agree with you, section by section what he actually verbalised could be interpreted as defeatist. I think his science is likely accurate, I particularly liked his explanation about the flashlight on the train and the speed of light, but overall his views as to the meaning of life as it relates to his proposed scientific reality, I think were likely flawed.
To pain and suffering. I think he was beautifully honest here. It was clear he had experienced pain and to admit to still being too emotionally attached to his avatar whilst logically understanding that this avatar is not the conscious ‘him’, spoke to a real internal battle between heart and mind; what he feels versus what he has proven mathematically.
Hoffman’s idea that pain and suffering is part of the one consciousness experiencing itself through different headsets and in different situations reminded me very much of HG’s ‘Psychopath, the Observation of Pain’ video. Through pain comes a greater understanding of the human experience, oneself and others. Relationships can be strengthened or broken, positives can come out of painful experience as can negatives but most often a greater understanding. “ I am the bringer of pain. I am the deliverer of understanding.” That statement does hint at a godlike perspective, which essentially is what Hoffmann’s one consciousness actually is. From the perspective of one collective consciousness seeking to understand itself, the role of pain and suffering does appear to have some meaning. Pain is personal. It’s certainly very personal for the one experiencing it but to view it as a result of the experiences, actions, interactions and chain reactions set in motion through numerous different avatars, does appear to offer at least some meaning, some explanation as to why people suffer. From a personal perspective I could perhaps say that positives have come out of my various ensnarements, positives for me, my daughter and others but on the whole, if I had the choice “ Here TS, choose this narcissistic ensnarement, you’ll learn an awful lot.” I’d still tell him
“I’ll pass if it’s all the same to you. I’ll just stay stupid thanks.” I can say though, given I didn’t have the choice, I have gained valuable insight and understanding from painful ensnarements. I’ll concede to understanding HG’s statement in part but I’m not subscribing fully.
I agree with your focus on meaning and future generations. Again, for me this boils down to human interactions which from a collective consciousness perspective should include past, present and future impacts because our past impacts the present impacts the future. Even narcissists and psychopaths are impacted here despite their self focus as they cannot escape the aggregate influence of the collective.
Overall, I really enjoyed the science aspect of Hoffman. I appreciated his mind, his alternative thinking and his challenging of accepted scientific concepts which really are the bedrock of the way we perceive and understand reality. I agreed also with his take on Darwin. Human perception is based largely on ensuring continuation of the species; anything outside of that would be surplus to requirements and would evolve in line with changing environments and natural selection. Again, environment is a cornerstone to how we perceive the world which again ties in with narcissism, psychopathy, and empaths in terms of their formation. It also ties in with our thoughts on clairvoyance, an ability that is likely still within our DNA but the modern environment has less call for that epigenetic switch to be activated.
Change the concept of space and time, throw in evolution and genetics and our various perceptions of reality become far more fluid. You and I just happen to have a mostly majority perspective, the narcissist has the narcissistic perspective and both are effective for the respective groups. It’s when those groups touch it all goes tits up isn’t it really?
It is what it is. 😉
TS, you cracked me up in the end!! Tits up it goes, historically absolutely!!…When they both discussed pain and suffering I had to put myself in an ice bath virtually to calm down. It got me on edge completely and I wanted to ask you about that sequence of conversation, thank you for reading my thoughts, I agree with you 100%.
“Ripple outwards..” — Yes! Every single thought! And add time and timelessness to it, when we think about the clairvoyant’s access all areas! How exciting if we could activate that epigenetic switch!
“used the word love, meant acceptance.” — I agree, he spoke more of acceptance. If love is a muse, an inspirational force (when we’re in love we grow wings) it would also contain acceptance, producing the effect which you described, it gives you strength to overcome, it helps you to move on. There is a soft touch of a muse to acceptance.
“Do as you would be done by.” — Utterly tricky for a Tudorite because we have to separate the awareness and unawareness i.e. an unaware narcissist will say “I’m good to you but you don’t see it.” And even if you replay the recording to prove the contradiction they will evade. So the only person who ends up trying “treating others as you want to be treated” is the trodden empath. Thus whenever people who are not aware of the narcissist’s constitution make that consideration they don’t put the narcissist’s construct into the equation and think that it’s obvious to everyone what is meant by that principle. Same with the “neighbour”. BUT from the proposition that on some level we’re all the same collective unit of let’s say one solid energetic substance split into single pieces and poured into a variety of organic/energetic containers — it would make sense that the neighbour is me essentially. In theory it should work. In reality – tits up, lol.
Which brings us to “From the perspective of one collective consciousness seeking to understand itself, the role of pain and suffering does appear to have some meaning.” — Yes, both variants cannot exist without pain when their realities collide. The narcissist is indifferent towards the pain of others but is sensitive to their own pain (wounding, fury). The empath is sensitive towards the pain of others but can be indifferent to their own pain (no immediate reflex to walk away from the source of abuse/pain.) And then it gets even trickier. When both have tasted blood they cannot stop…
Hi Jordy,
Haha! Well of course I read your mind!! Thank you for your thoughtful response.
You made an interesting point about “do as you would be done by”and how that can fall down as far as the narcissist is concerned. When I look back I had that ethos since being a kid. I’ve mentioned on here before that my dad bought me The Water Babies by Charles Kingsley and I think my ethos was created there.
Before understanding narcissism and after, my stance on it hasn’t changed. I agree with you that we can be conned into thinking that the narcissist is a ‘good’ person deep down, so do I really think this should be my ethos going forward? I think the answer is yes. I have always had a high level of discernment (high, not perfect) as far as people are concerned and how much of myself I’m willing to give. I think understanding narcissism has just increased the discernment and left the ethos intact.
I probably lean in to acceptance because it pairs well with discernment. Essentially, I’ll go to the ends of the Earth for you, as long as I feel you are worth it. If you aren’t then I accept that and let go. This is likely the J part in the INFJ and I’m very INFJ! I judge, I am judgemental, a judger. This is often seen as a negative trait, but like most traits it can be either positive or negative.
I think sometimes when people are fresh out of ensnarement they dislike their empathic status. They see it as weakness, the part of them that got them into trouble, the driver behind behaviours that caused them pain and they feel shame that they put up with the abuse for so long instead of walking away. My empath friend was very much like that. It isn’t the empathy that’s the issue in my view. It’s the level of discernment. Those that leave the narcissist earlier will likely be more discerning. It doesn’t mean keeping score in the relationship. I did X therefore I expect X in return. I accept that I have broad shoulders emotionally and can sometimes carry a greater load in that respect. I don’t expect everything to be equal all of the time but I do definitely have expectations and non negotiables.
All the relationships that ended, I ended them, whether they be friendships or romantic relationships and, thinking about it, I ended them all for the similar reason. It wasn’t the fact that I gave more than the other person, (many were narcs) it was the fact that on the very rare occasion when I asked them to do something for me, they either didn’t do it or, didn’t recognise I was asking. I very rarely ask for help for example, I never ask for it directly, but if I’m giving, I’m supporting and you don’t step up when needed, it’s an instant switch and I’m done. You could argue that’s unfair, I didn’t specifically ask for anything, I’d say then you clearly weren’t paying attention.
For me this is where acceptance sits with discernment. I have to accept the reality of what the person is and is not, accept it and move on. I might also have to accept that I made the wrong call at the very start so my discernment can be faulty as well. It has certainly improved since being here.
‘Do as you would be done by’ can be tricky for empaths I agree but I still think it’s a worthwhile starting point. Then, if the person turns out to be an asshole, that little deal gets withdrawn or, in a professional context it might be amended to ‘You scratch my back I’ll scratch yours.’
“The narcissist is indifferent towards the pain of others but is sensitive to their own pain (wounding, fury). The empath is sensitive towards the pain of others but can be indifferent to their own pain (no immediate reflex to walk away from the source of abuse/pain.)”
That’s an excellent way to put it and highlights part of the symbiosis. I don’t know that I’m indifferent. I definitely recognise that I might be taking on damage and I definitely don’t like it. My pride works against me here though. I do see myself as strong / capable. I’ll take the hit if I think something can be resolved, (healer fixer) but only for as long as I think the person is worth it. That’s why the discernment / judging element is so crucial for me.
Clearly if dealing with narcs there are other things that delay that judging process, ET, the addiction, making excuses etc, all of those can delay that tipping point where I suddenly decide that I’m done. With non narcs though, there can still be situations where taking the hit can be worth it in order for something to be achieved, but even there, there’s a limit. I’ve brushed up against that limit only once with a non narc but I don’t regret doing so.
Love as a muse. I’m not high in the love devotee trait so I might not be the person to comment on that. I do have long relationships though and I do believe in the concepts of marriage, fidelity, family, community etc. I think love can sometimes hitch its cart to hope and the two together aren’t always a positive pairing. I am a hope subscriber I just tend not to pair it with love. It works better for me to keep those two in separate areas of my very befuddled mind!
Hello dear TS! Your beautiful replies and thoughts are truly soothing…it’s what HG described in relation to a certain empath school and cadre — when it feels like finding refuge within their presence and ability to speak their mind. The atmosphere around them is clearer, brighter, warmer and to my understanding that’s a manifestation of love which shines through your replies, a particular energy which I associate with love. When the air becomes clearer to breathe around this type of individual. For how I understand love — it’s like a process running in the background, a core substance and energy which is different to other substances. Love feels warm, logic feels cool, like when it becomes too hot you’re welcoming of a cooling breeze = logic. And when it becomes too chilly you move out from the shadow in order to stand in and absorb the warming sunlight = love. Like oil and water cannot mix, these energies are separate and yet both are necessary to feel balanced. Love is logical as long it is not an emotional thinking type of love…
The J-part of INFJ you mentioned is a very important attribute to my mind. Where people have unlearned to judge they also unlearn to perceive who is who and make compromises which prolong repetitiveness. When the process of recognition, the trial is over the judge doesn’t need to make compromises after seeing who is who and that would bring a healthy balance to “the neighbour is you”. Judging doesn’t provide free passes for avoiding consequences arising from recognition and verdict, manifesting in the “switch and I’m done” — in certain situations it runs like clockwork — the moment the realisation clicks you’re gone irreversibly on every level. And here I wish for the ability HG speaks about in terms of calculation and effectiveness, to kick in much sooner, seeing people and plans through early on, not wasting time and effort. Where your own clarity becomes the only guide in your life, ensconced within compassion or/and love (not allowance and acceptance of bs) it would be a harmonious existence. Where we perhaps have that intuition primarily before the analysis but we require to back up the intuition with the quick tapping into the analysis. I’ve also experienced people confusing intuition with fantasy where it was obvious that they’ve misjudged the fool’s attempt to con them, insisting about “my good intuition” ending up in a mess of a fraud, misjudging not just the other but also their own intuitive abilities.
“ET and addiction delaying the judging process” — very much so, especially where I must enter the situation knowing that ET must be brought down and I continue to miss my exit. But it is a matter of practice after all. I don’t want to imagine how it would have been if I’d never encountered the information we’ve learned about here. Having that information gives the advantage of recognition and continued adjustment. Until it becomes second nature to navigate situations logically instead of an emotional thinking base…
Indeed, TS’ contributions are a breath of fresh air in the wake of commentary that actively, and repeatedly, clogs the blog environment with negativity, derision and insults.
TS is a voice of reason, not the only one of course, but she is one.
HG,
Thank you. I appreciate your description.
WhoCares, you simply could have stated the second part of your comment without using TS for it. It makes your compliment to her disingenuous.
Who Cares, Jordy,
Thank you for your kind comments. I was really touched by them. It’s lovely to log on and see that someone took the time to leave messages as warm as those.
Jordy,
In response to your thoughts.
“Love feels warm, logic feels cool… both are necessary to feel balanced.” I think you’re right here. I do feel more balanced since pairing my emotional side with a cooler, more logical approach. I would never have thought that at the start, logic felt more like calculation to begin with something that “wasn’t my style” but actually, logic can calm me now, it can provide me with certainty.
“Where people have unlearned to judge, they also unlearn to perceive who is who.” I hadn’t thought of it in that direction, ‘unlearning’. I think there are various elements in play there. Societally there has been the push for equality and acceptance, both positive aspects but when it comes to acceptance at all costs then I do think there is an element of unlearning to judge which can come into play. We also have the narcissistic narrative which permeates society. We might therefore still judge but judge incorrectly. “I know he loves me because he serenaded me in the rain. He’s a good man, he must be, I should stay and fight for the relationship.”
ACONS might also find that their ‘normal’ is skewed too. How do you know that a behaviour is wrong or abusive when that behaviour is all you know? Ability to judge accurately is therefore potentially hindered.
Cultural differences, different religions, media etc will also play a role in ‘unlearning’. To be described as judgemental generally has a negative connotation and it really can be negative when taken to extreme or used out of a ‘safety’ context but I agree it has a positive aspect too.
“Here I wish for the ability HG speaks about in terms of calculation and effectiveness to kick in much sooner.” I think this is one of the empaths’ laments! Ultimately, we are emotional creatures, to aim for pure logic is likely unattainable for us and personally I’m not sure pure logic would suit me haha! I think your earlier comment is right for us though, ideally we need a balance. I’m confident that empaths reading HG’s work (remember also he has never stated that we should change who we are) and actively working to apply it will be armed with the correct knowledge to see red and black flags, understand what they represent, and take action far sooner than they otherwise would have done. I think that holds true for all schools of empath. In training terms it’s about beating your own personal best rather than comparing yourself to what others might be more naturally predisposed to doing. There are positives and negatives that go with every school. To my mind it’s always healthier for me not to compare myself to others but to try to maximise my own potential. It’s the only way for me to stay consistent.
“Where we perhaps have that intuition primarily before the analysis but we require to back up the intuition with quick tapping in to the analysis.” Intuition is faster and by a long way too. Analysis and logic take time and to someone intuitively led it feels clunky or at least it did to me. I had to force myself to go through the process, the more I do it, the less clunky it feels but my preference will probably always be intuition. What I can say there though is that going through the process of analysis has actually given me more confidence in my intuition. I can add context to the gut feel and examine what it actually is that is causing me to move one way or another. It also removes the excuses or the self questioning aspect. “Am I being mean backing away from this person? Perhaps he’s having a bad day, she’s shy etc.” The logical aspect supports and builds confidence in the intuitive aspect. I didn’t expect that. I thought originally that logic would make me cold, less empathic. It doesn’t, it just allows me to spend my empathy more wisely.
I’m not saying “Hey everyone, do this!” More, as I continue to use HG’s work, these are the things I’m noticing personally. I’m evolving, but I don’t see that I’m less empathic through accessing more logic, just more discerning.
How deep does your darkness go?
Eight inches.
🤣🤣🤣🤣☠️
Wowsa! Lol
Hi all:
While I don’t like negativity amongst us blog people, I did find a comment about contagions being intuitive school interesting and I agree. As an attorney , I have felt my intuition has greatly helped my cases and clients. It’s helped me economically. I like that about myself. With my ex narc, I pushed aside that gut intuition and relied on his words and my desires, including SEX and it was to my detriment. To be fair, the contagion writings including Jordy and many of you had a multitude of interesting input that SOME of us took too far going into astrology, dreams and other areas of what makes a person tick but that’s what we do ….that separates us, we dive deep. We are interested in the drives, motivations, fundamental origins of the WHYS. The intuition, creativity, nature, the soul/ spirituality calls to us. What is intuition after all? Where does it come from? Why do I know emotionally what another feels? Any comments on intuition appreciated.
Contagion,
I agree with you on negativity in the blog. I hope it would dissipate soon. I personally enjoy reading all the bloggers opinions, views and life experiences. I love they are diverse and sometimes provocative. Idc if a person who posts is narcissist or empath or smth else, as long as I find his/her post interesting. I value all views.
P.s. I found it funny, you post your comment under a thread related to a size of HG’s darkness)) probably, accidentally.
Arya, hi!
“I agree with you on negativity in the blog. I hope it would dissipate soon. I personally enjoy reading all the bloggers opinions, views and life experiences…”
I can understand your sentiment Ary, there are still comments in moderation which would fall under being negative and would eventually appear but I’ll keep it shut now. Promise.
Hello Jordy 😊
As with any drama, it goes away only when all participants finally feel exhausted from argueing. At some point, it becomes a circular, repetitive phrases, insults or whatever (I mean in general, no particular reference). If you have a need to vent you anger, go ahead, I have no issues with that. You can direct it at me, if it makes you feel good. Occasionally, I also go to “f.. them all, burn it all” mode, though sometimes next morning, I regret on certain things I said or lashing out at someone. What helps me personally to avoid feeling shame or guilt later at expressing my frustration at situation or person is to discuss it with my therapist or simply write all my thoughts into “notes” on my phone and let it stay there for one day before saying or sending it. Normally, next day, I feel it so unimportant, that it just never leaves my phone and gets deleted. Though I admit I find it difficult to control my impulses sometimes.
I said “I hope it would dissipate”, meaning I’m waiting for it dies out by itself. Not that you stop doing anything. Don’t hold it, if you can’t.
For me this blog, is very unique. It’s not only mindblowing level of intelligence I observe here, but also a level of drama.
In comparison, I’m also part of other blogs/groups discussions. Most related to life experiences, opinions etc. An example, it’s 120 people in one of tg group (Russian), I’m part of. Judging by the posts/pictures there, most of them in their mid 30-s +-. I came there by an invite from a club owner. I had a few consultations with him. Now he ignores me 🤣🤣🤣, because once, I told in the chat that he was a Narcissist and I put my proof why I thought that (no one supported me on that statement or gave me like, actually reverse, I was attacked, but I didn’t care). Though he stills hasn’t kicked me from a group. Imagine he constantly (or repeatedly) bragging about different new gf he has, then once he put in our chat ss with texts from his ex, so we all laugh at one of his “crazy” ( as he described her) ex gf, who after he broke up with her, scratched his car and then was firing many texts to him with insults and cursing. I felt so pity/sorry for her, it was awful. Many in chat started smearing her. I have never scratched anyone’s car, but I got a feeling from her texts, she wasn’t crazy. She was just really mad at him and at the edge of suicide or smth. And he put those ss there to get pity from us (which he did receive). He didn’t get it from me at least. Then once it was a discussion in the chat about infidelity. The way his post was written, is that only men cheat, and what women should do to make sure her man/partner stays faithful. One of the advices was that wise woman should accept the position that she is below man (WTF!!!). Really, I would copy it here (his words, some of), though if it’s a copyright, maybe better to be moderated/deleted:
Мудрая женщина ниже мужчины и восхищается им
Надо чтоб было чем восхищаться у мужчины
И мужик чувствовал себя самым самым крутым и сильным
В этом суть
Тут смысл просто в позиционировании себя чуть ниже
Это мудрость)
The point was that to avoid cheating, woman should adore man, put him above her, and man should have some qualities to be admired for. This is a real wisdom on behalf of woman (probably then I’m not a wise woman). At this chat, about 90% are women, and all men are moderators , appointed by this club owner. You can’t even imagine what gargantuan efforts I made at myself not comment there, under this post. Cause I knew it’s just useless. Most women there adore this guy, and men would try to tier me apart. They did it before, on another topic, I expressed my view. I mostly lurking there now.
Anyway, my point, that at the most chats, blogs I’m in, people are unbearably stupid (or maybe I don’t just get it, Idk). This blog, by Mr Tudor is a heaven compares to many. Me personally, can actually really learn here. So when I see negativity, it just makes me sad a bit, though I understand it should happen here from time to time, cause we are all merely humans.
Ary, hi!
That man definitely rolls out red flags of a red carpet length he invites those women to walk upon whilst dripping his manual into their virtual ears on how to be a correct woman (appliance) FOR HIM. Those women’s addiction to narcissists make them perfect targets, where they remain in his sphere and become potential next victim candidates. (Including potential narcissists amongst those women as well.)
It would be very difficult to ring through to them when commenting whilst you are being monitored by him and his lieutenants. There must be an altogether different tactic in order to uncover who he is or to point out his narcissist indicators in front of his audience. But the problem is he would sense the slightest threat to control and deal with it directly by attacking you etc. From what you described — he presents as a bragging Lesser. No facade. He tells how it is: “woman – on your knees”. If a narcissist, he is probably an Andrew Tate type.
You know, I’m following psychologists and even they sometimes state such nonsense missing red flags where a victim clearly describes a narcissist and the psychologist says “he presents like an avoidant with an avoidant personality disorder” — where I want to comment, you must be kidding! And then I remind myself that the psychologist simply doesn’t have the detailed information from HG’s materials and it would take some very long time and effort to update the psychologist… So you’re absolutely right, by being here and learning, you’re light years ahead of even psychologists who need to catch up soon.
As to anger, I find you have a healthy view and approach on it. I understand the impulse issue you mentioned and there is an understandable reason why you REACT and ideally it should not be downplayed. A tip: apply ice cold water or ice cubes. Face, hands, neck (or jump into the cold shower, lake, river). It brings you down and helps to return to logic and evaluate the situation less emotionally. We’re led by chemistry and controlling our mind-body reactions also comes from controlling our body chemistry (cold water -> different hormones). Anger is an important part of survival where you must defend yourself physically in an attack situation. But simultaneously anger is a bad advisor when you must deal with a situation just mentally by switching to logic, without emotions and the impact they have on the body. (Emotional stress leads to repair mechanisms being paused which leads to the development of health issues).
Also I don’t think it’s my contagion but I am the person others gravitate with their problems. I have been dealing with a Shephard now who is poor and often abused and who is not innocent…. At all. My son says “ that guy annoys me when is that bum going to stop coming here.” Friends and others say he uses you for your kindness. It’s amazing how others are so quick to turn to their backs to someone in need. I have truly helped, taken care of his goats, helped him with food, legal advice and what most people need…. Dignity…. Poor folk often don’t get dignified and that’s awful… we are all just people walking this Earth…. We will all die..,. I don’t look at anyone superior… sorry narcs… on a spiritual level….and it will end my helping… it will end. But I hope it ends on a survival note . Why? Why do I give my energy, time and money. I am not rich. Is it my martyr cadre? So many in my life over my life ask me? Why did you help him or her? Of course, if it’s them, but an issue. I will tell you why. It’s in the Beatitudes. I truly feel when someone in need is placed in my life, it’s my job to help. This got me in trouble with my ex narcissist …. But even if the Shepard is a narcissist, I won’t stand by racial hatred, violence or hunger or animal cruelty. Narc or not. I will help. What does that say about me? I imagine lots of empaths have helped narcs for a cause they believe in. I have no regrets and have reached an age I don’t need to justify or apologize for my decisions. I lead by my own virtue and hope I set a good example. It’s who I am and what I do. Does it mean sacrifice. Yes, at times but I think I set boundaries I can live with. Different boundaries for others. But my reward is being true that myself and my God. And it takes strength to take a stand. Others say “ why help him?” Others applaud your efforts. But in the end, for me, it is about doing the right thing even if most wouldn’t. Even if it means, retaliation. Even if it’s time, money and energy spent elsewhere. And if it’s an injustice to me, you must address it. Balance. And I am sure many of you wonder at the lack of empathy. How can others be so ignorant and cruel? Why don’t others help when this is going on? I often say swords up empaths not just to heal from narcissistic abuse but because we have the skills to better things.
It’s dark?
In application.
Hahaaa brilliant
TS: I could not reply to your message but I am in awe of you. It’s as if you are the perfectly balanced wise empath and I am glad that you have managed this contentment so well. I don’t think I can and I am a different sort. In some ways, I wish I could be like you. I feel the need to push that envelope. I have spent a lifetime sacrificing often my time and energies to others of all kinds. Empaths, normals, narcs. I have lost count of those “ in between jobs” who have stayed with me. I think I get 10 calls a day from both paying and nonpaying clients. I had two seniors at my home tonight alone after I put in a 9 hour day. It takes great patience but I value the elderly. I could go on but I won’t. I guess and it’s a guess it’s my martyr cadre. As like HG says, I feel alive in doing so. Maybe I am addicted to the pain but let me explain. I have never been able to stop my self when someone in genuine need comes to my doorstep. If I am honest, and it’s weird to say here, I feel closer to Christ and nothing HG could say here will replace my vow to Him. Sometimes I get so tired, I worry about my quality of life. Work, dogs, kids, home, bills, it’s a lot. Why help these strangers, these members of the community about their burst pipes or their probate disputes etc… but I have saved homes and lives throughout my life. I have made lives better. And that knowledge fuels me. I am not balanced. I went to the ends of the Earth for my daughter in a custody dispute. Nonstop. The child evaluator found me empathetic but a mother bear. The opposing counsel who is in the top three biggest family lawyers in my rich county told me that he “never met anyone like me.” I WON. I eventually represented myself a single mom just getting back to work against a pure multimillionaire psychopath and his top paid lawyer sought full custody. I got 80 percent! I am still smiling and grateful to God the Almighty. My daughter thrives. Now this is in part to him as we had joint custody. She needed him and 20% was rightly awarded. I supported their relationship. I thought about WiserNows comment too… am I the one self righteous? I hope that is not driving me but my true desire to serve God. If it makes sense I often feel humbled to help. Maybe driven like I have no choice. Maybe I am mad? And it does matter who or what you are. It’s what happened. Was it right? Every person here, especially HG, who comes to me, I would listen and help if I could. I am not God. There’s only what I can do. I was called in third grade to be a lawyer. That was the age, 8, I decided. My mom would verify. I have always had this scale of justice in my soul. If anything I often say: have you done enough? But the lines of paying and not paying come with such great demand to my door, this seldom is my primary worry as a lot of demand . I don’t know if it’s a case of can’t or won’t. Could I have kicked out the neighbor tonight with burst pipes twho needs help with advice and help with his insurance company? Yes. BUT he was in the army during Vietnam, a decorated firefighter! Does this man and his ailing wife deserve to be shut canned by a corrupt carrier? No! I worked 9 hours today on a client who pays me $700 an hour without eating on a multimillion dollar LAX case. And it is HARD but worthwhile to sit with my senior neighbor after a long day. I had to eat. He offered to bring me food but I have food. Let him keep his social security money. God bless him. He is 87. Your empathy sounds like Nirvana to me but I can’t and don’t want to achieve those limits. It is who I am. Ok divorcing a narcissist hubby. Good. Good limit. But when it comes to helping a good person who needs me or correcting some despicable injustice, I am like a train without wheels. And I can see now in your comment compared to me? why I am martyr. I don’t have that ability nor do I consciously want it. It’s a flame, a fire, a passion in me that makes me well me. Some would see it as a great stupid weakness. Those who love me do. “Why mom?” My Marine son says. And it can bring flack to my life. My daughter calls me “ badass” and is proud of me. I guess it’s how you look at it. But through the internal doubt, fatigue, insecurities and challenges, very real, the only one I look to is God. I absolutely feel Him with me and He has blessed me with so much love in my life I could reach heaven lol. Now my mother would say “the harder you work, the luckier you get.” It would be nice however not to feel the fear, the pain, the doubt of taking on a social injustice against such big opponents. I often feel my smallness but it’s my empathy and faith that fuels me. TS you no doubt make this world a better place in every way but please understand my boundaries don’t have limits. And I think that’s OK when it comes to making the world a better place. I simply can’t nor won’t pace myself or protect t myself if the cause burns within me. I know I have a choice but I feel God driven. We hold hands together in our different styles. I so get why HG put me in the carrier/matyr (equal) category. But he is astounding in his early ( 2018?) accuracy. How does he do it! Anyone in my group, hey, if like me, you answer to a higher source! It’s Him you are born and it’s Him you serve. And it’s Him that guides you. And while it’s healthier to be anything but a martyr, we have a place in society. When I was a little girl, I woke up to the sound of mowing and I swear on my life , I felt a physical hand on my shoulder shaking me. I then found the poem of St Francis of Assissisi. I was 12, but I knew then. This was my purpose. I am a terrible sinner, no nun, please read as so The Prayer of St. Francis is a beautiful and inspiring piece often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi. Although it’s debated whether he actually wrote it, the prayer reflects his spirit of peace and compassion. Here’s the text:
**Prayer of St. Francis**
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness joy.
Oh Divine Master grant that I so not seek.
St Francis lived.
Sister Catrini lived.
Martin Luther King lived
Harriett Tubman lived
And Jesus
These are my heroes. My mentors and who I aspire to be. Even if at their hem.
Hi Contagious.
I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to be in awe of me, that would be unwarranted but I understand what you were conveying in your comment.
I have been ensnared several times. I sensed something was off, made excuses, got drawn in and stayed too long before leaving. I’ve done the similar things for the similar reasons as many empaths here. There will be empaths here who escaped sooner, some later and some not at all. I think it’s safe to say that many of us wish we had left sooner, or even better not been drawn in to begin with.
Different schools and cadres have differing strengths and weaknesses but my view on it has been consistent. I see value in each of the schools for differing reasons. It makes me sad when people want to change themselves or feel frustrated by their empathic nature because they view it as the part that caused them to be ensnared. My friend felt that way, so did my daughter. My comment was really just to highlight that it isn’t the empathy that’s the problem, it’s the narcissist who takes and exploits it who is the problem. So for me it isn’t about hiding our empathic nature, it’s about honouring it and channeling it in directions where it is needed and deserved. HG’s work can facilitate that for any empath in any school so there’s no need to change ourselves, dial up one school or dial down another, I think we just need to use the tools provided here to be more discerning, to ensure that we don’t fall prey to the next narcissist, but if we do, we also spot the signs faster, understand what they signify and therefore get out far faster than we otherwise might have done.
What you describe in your comment is what empaths do. We care so we help people, it’s done quietly without expectation of praise or fanfare. We likely help more than we ourselves are helped and I don’t believe that has to be even. I do believe though that empathy has value and it should be spent on those who simply need help rather than those who would exploit us and bleed us dry without a second thought.
Your examples sounded like worthy causes. Professionally you provide a lot of assistance to people. Even helping a narcissist can be worthwhile if it is changing a situation for the greater good, if the cause is greater than the narcissist being helped. Only you can know your own energy levels, limits and boundaries. We’re all different, a mix of schools and cadres and what works for one, is achievable for one, might not work or be remotely achievable for another. So my aim wasn’t to advocate that my way is the best way, but instead to use HG’s work to improve our situation, protect ourselves within the limits that our various schools and cadres allow. I’d love to be an Olympic athlete, but I’m not going to be, so rather than wish for something I’m not predisposed to being, I can choose to work with what I have, set my own targets for improvement and celebrate those.
If you are of the martyr cadre and giving selflessly makes you feel good, then what you do is right for you. I would hope that you don’t give to the point of breakdown or exhaustion. As they say in safety protocols on airplanes, “Put your own oxygen mask on first.” You can’t help anyone if you don’t also help yourself. That’s also worth considering and I understand your concern about quality of life. Rest and looking after yourself ensures longevity. The longer you live the more people you’ll help, maybe that is a way to think about your own self care.
I read the water babies, you read the Bible, both books instilled a moral code. I think it’s the moral code that is important, the part that has impact on the world. I’m not religious so I can’t really engage in religious debate or discussion. I do understand how your religion is a driver behind your behaviour though. Again, personal choice and I don’t view your religion negatively. It works for you, my brand of faith and the way I interpret it works for me.
In terms of why there is pain in the world I understand your thought process. I have thought similarly in terms of my own ensnarements. Without going through it myself I wouldn’t have arrived here and received my Tudor education. My daughter has been ensnared, my closest friend and several other friends / friends of friends. I wouldn’t have been able to support them as I do without having gone through ensnarement myself. So I can say particularly as far as my daughter is concerned that the pain was worth it, but logically I know that really the best outcome would have been if neither one of us had been ensnared. That could have happened if more people understood narcissism and that is why I try to spread the word of HG’s work as often as I can.
The feel good factor you mention, the high you feel when you help someone, I had an interesting discussion about that with a diagnosed psychopath. Not HG, a female psychopath. Her view was that emotional empathy is self motivated for that very reason. We feel good afterwards, we get a dopamine reward when helping. She could use her cognitive empathy and choose to help someone in the same way but she wouldn’t get a dopamine reward. Her argument was that when I help I get rewarded so it isn’t a selfless act. When she helps, no reward therefore it’s a selfless act born out of cognitive empathy.
I said she’s full of shit.
Haha! No, I didn’t really. I pointed out that my emotional empathy drives me to help, any dopamine reward is a positive side effect but the driver is to help, it isn’t to get the reward. She did make a convincing argument about the merits of cognitive empathy and how people assume they are using emotional empathy when in actual fact they aren’t. Neither one of us changed our views but it was an interesting discussion. All to say, it’s the driver behind the giving help that is important in my opinion, not the dopamine reward.
My comment to Jordy was simply me sharing thoughts about what I have noticed and learned over time. If anything I say resonates, then great and if it doesn’t also great. My intention was not to be prescriptive but just to offer up what has worked for me.
TS : First thank you. Second thank you. Third thank you. When I post I often regret it. I feel that I will be judged. Now I answer to One but it’s still nice to be accepted as such. And I respect our differences in faith. And I have a plethora of love in my life, I am graced and they always tell me , I just feel he is taking advantage oif you.” I will die with them saying this. I will. BUT with you… I agree I told a therapist in a DV counseling session as I sought help after my ex was diagnosed A SPD and said he would kill me… I said in counseling .. it is selfish my need to help, it makes me feel good plus WTf how lucky am I to be able to help others? Wouldn’t they rather be in a position to help? She agreed.
Hi Contagious,
You’re welcome. I think I would just underline that it’s ok to take time to look after yourself too. That isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. It’s necessary also because if you don’t look after yourself, you simply won’t keep up with the demands being placed upon you long term. Then, you’ll feel guilty about not keeping up!! Guilt is a killer, something I struggle with too.
Something I thought afterwards that also might help you find a little balance, still within your own limits and desire to help and support others: the old man who wanted to bring you food, sometimes other people want to help too, want to repay a kindness. This might have been his way, to share a meal with you. I understand your thinking, “he is struggling financially, he doesn’t need to cook for me” that’s definitely the martyr in you there, but maybe sometimes, with the right person, let them do something in return. Maybe there, he wanted to help you too and maybe doing so would bolster his self respect and self esteem.
Not if it’s a narc. Haha! Their food would be laced with honey and sickly sweet. Nobody needs that!
Also TS:
I am an absolute believer so our chairs from where we sit on Hoffman will differ.
But here’s my rogue difference.
1. When Christ forgave his enemies or the Romans who tortured him on a cross. It was both a message of what Gods love is as it is an EXAMPLE to what is should be in general. Yes we can hate or go no contact with abusers but we can also forgive and love them without subjecting ourselves to further abuse. And if dealing with a non pathological person like a narcissist. Love can grow into the community into the world if you forgive. If you are a Christian, like me, that’s Gods word.if you are not than some say even if I don’t believe in God, still a better ethical choice for humanity
2. Pain and suffering: There is the eternal question. I have no answer. Why does man create it? Why does God allow it? I do know two things…
Than what? The Middle East wars? Russia and Ukraine? Etc
1. God gave us free will and Earth is nothing compared to eternity. I believe no one who dies wants to come here and it’s a better place. So our pain and suffering is less than a second in eternity. It’s a blip in time.
2. My pain and suffering have opened the doors to others pain and suffering and given me more compassion and understanding for others
I am a woman who has been sexually harassed.
I am a woman who has been hit. I know what it feels like, I have had black eyes
I am a woman who has wrongfully been sued for full custody of her child
I am a woman who has had a gun placed to her head
I am a woman who worried about dying
I am a woman who was a single mother who had 2 small kids and a home to protect
I am a woman who left home at 17and had to buy her own car, pay for college and law school and work 3 jobs at times. I know poverty.
I am a woman whose son was bombed in Iraq and suffers to this day with disabilities.
What I am not:
I have not been raped.
I was raised in a loving home with food and shelter.
I have not been imprisoned.
I have not been a victim of child abuse or child wexual abuse.
I have not lost a child.
I don’t have cancer etc…
I have not been sextrafficked.
Of course at my age, I have had loved ones die.
But my suffering has created greater empathy, having gone through it, I can understand and help others better. I don’t wish to be raped or have cancer but if I did, I would understand and reach out to others and help them more.
So this is my simple response to Hoffman but mine comes from an absolute believers place.
One last thing
Why did Rome fall?
Why did America become America?
Why did Hitler fall?
Why did the French revelation happen?
Were they just rebels just foolish empaths and normal in a mass who got lucky?
The problem with abuse of power in concentrated wealth has shown historically that it causes the pendulum to swing. There is money, much hoarded, and there are the masses.
Personally Mother Nature will eventually conquer all is my last two cents
Can empaths change their school and cadre as they evolve, HG? I can see I used to be more codependent for example but don’t usually behave so much like that now (since wising up 🥷)! Though I have to watch I don’t slip into bad habits of course…
There can be a shift in percentage terms but not wholesale movement from one school to another.
I find this interesting, because I think I’ve changed quite considerably over the years. For example, when I was younger, I used to have people gravitating towards me and telling me their life history or their troubles, etc. But although nearly everyone I meet is nice to me (often going out of their way to help me, without being asked), it’s now not often the case that they tell me their troubles; and there was no hint of Magnet in my Empath Detector results.
Hi Pat an,
I feel the same way, I feel I have changed some in the years I’ve been reading and listening to HG’s work, but my Schools and Cadres haven’t changed, only the % changed.
Like you I have people come to me with their problems, still do, even more now, but I have no Magnet either. Xx
Hello Pat AN,
I do have some Magnet in my empath detector results – but I also have noticed a change, over time, in my approachability when it comes to other people.
However, I attribute this change to healing from narcissistic abuse, self-awareness of my own empathic traits and my increasing ability to discern the motives behind the behaviour of others. I just don’t think I present the same way, outwardly, anymore.
I have said, in the past, that I don’t feel like I am ‘bleeding empathy’ anymore. I make the choice who I extend my empathy towards and somehow this filters through to how I present to others. People no longer randomly approach me on the street or in stores. (I used to be such a sucker for those asking for money or people randomly initiating a conversation on the bus.)
The one place I do still notice the effect of Magnet is in my current work role – if I am already engaged in a conversation with a client, over the phone or in person, they will often start sharing difficulties they are enduring in their personal life within minutes of chatting.
(Sorry if this is redundant – I kept getting the error message.)
Congratulations on reaching 250,000 subscribers on YouTube, sir! Perhaps a Live stream to celebrate.
Thank you.. Possibly, I have many commitments at present given what is going on in the world.
Mr. Tudor–
I understand. It’s generally observable when you’re busy elsewhere. You never cease to amaze with how you get so much done and done so excellently. 3 analyses as rapidly as they came to your viewers! And several episodes of the Angels of Death series. Amazing! Even more so, considering the state of the world.
Thank you so much for everything, Mr. Tudor. I greatly appreciate it. Please be safe doing all that you do.
Mr. Tudor,
With regards to what’s going on in the world, I hope you’re safe. I always worry about you when I hear about these kinds of things.
I agree, Leigh. When I notice there is a change in posting or live premiers, it makes me anxious because I think of what Mr. Tudor may be doing, whether he might be in danger.
I remember the first scheduled live. It was not intended to be what it was. It was planned before Ukraine was invaded. I was so new to Mr. Tudor’s work at that time. I think I had only been watching for a few short weeks. But I was super excited that there was a planned time for a live. I had questions…I knew I wasn’t going to ask, but I had to listen. So I set up a specific email just to subscribe to “Knowing the Narcissist – Ultra.”
I expected to be notified. I was refreshing Mr. Tudor’s YouTube channel almost every five minutes or starting about an hour before it was scheduled. This was a planned time to sit quietly and listen intently to an expert. I wanted to be sure to be the first people in. I didn’t want to miss one second. (I was super addicted at that point.)
He was a little late (owing to the conflict). I knew something was up. I thought it was YouTube at first. I was really upset that the website would do me that way, especially because I was only subscribed to Knowing the Narcissist (Ultra) channel. I had not discovered the first channel at that time. I may have been new, but I had seen enough of Mr. Tudor’s content that I knew he would be on time–this is about his legacy, something very important to him. Then I began to worry. I had heard him talk a little about his professional life–and it sounded like it was military/espionage adjacent (to me). I had really worked myself into a very emotional state, wondering if Mr. Tudor was in a ditch somewhere.
Then Mr. Tudor’s voice was coming out the speaker. He was being cryptic, and the sound quality was unusual–what was going on? He said he was underground. Then Mr. Tudor got spicy–saying if anyone didn’t like the sound, there was nothing he could do and they could leave if they didn’t like it. It was rather a relief to hear him that way. That behavior tracked with what I’d observed of the Ultra.
I just so enjoy when Mr. Tudor does a live or talks with us in the premiers. And when he answers a question live…he picks my question and says: “Dani.” I just feel so excited. And there are also all the other questions. Always so interesting to hear what so many others are wondering about.
It’s always a relief to see new YouTube videos or responses from Mr. Tudor posted here on the blog–particularly when the world seems to be going downhill in a hurry. I know he may be in a dangerous or unusual place, but I know that he has logically assessed it as being safe.
Hi Dani,
I know what you mean! I get excited when Mr. Tudor tells me I’m correct. I feel like a school girl who just got a gold star from the teacher.
I remember during one video he talked about being in the hospital because he got hurt on the job. I think that was in December of 2023. Now, every time he’s away, I wonder if something has happened again.
When Mr. Tudor finally posts on the blog or adds a video on YouTube after being away, I feel relief. I’m always nervous that when he’s gone. I’m always wondering, is this time the time he’ll be gone for good?
December 2022.
Thank you for the correction, Mr. Tudor. I will etch December 2022 into memory.
Ugh! Apparently I’ve forgotten how to write in a coherent way, lol!
I know. I was upset to learn about him being in hospital, too. It just makes my day brighter when I see responses from Mr. Tudor. He carries the burden of empathic devotion to him with such dignity.
I wonder if he is a good patient for his nurses when in hospital.
Hmm… Its an interesting thought to consider how Mr. Tudor interacted with hospital personnel. Was he angry? Was he pleasant and cordial? If a beautiful Super Magnet empath came in, did he turn on the charm? Was there ever a time where he took the psychopath’s mask off?
Mr. Tudor,
Would you consider telling us a story about how you interacted with hospital workers during your hospitalization in December 2022?
I shall consider doing so.
I agree, Leigh. It would be interesting to hear what kind of patient Mr. Tudor was. It would be interesting to know what was going on in his head as he evaluated his situation. He thinks so differently from most people.
Dear HG,
I hope you’re being careful in your risky business, fighting the battles we can’t know about….be safe please…xx
At least, now we know who is the “Daddy” from a cringe summit.
Does the imposition of no contact hurt a narc ex friend who had hurted and humiliated you?
He is I think an UMR Somatic.
I ignored him even in front of others when he tried to talk to me, but he was hurted for minutes and then he came back again. With a fake polite and provocative behaviours.
I blocked him everywhere and when he discover this (I say this to a person) he ignored me like I was doing. A mirror.
3rd assertion of control I suppose.
Did I hurt him?
Last time I looked at the poll of what JK Rowling is, 74% voted Normal and only 12% Empath. From 8.7K voters. The comments were telling as well.
Amongst the comments I stumbled upon Niffty’s comments who is 71% contagion. Not only did she not recognise her own kind but she also supported the view and commentators who ascribed lack of emotional empathy in JK and saw her rather as being a narcissist/ic throughout their whole commentary of the analysis.
Niffty as well described being indifferent to JK’s work and that JK vaguely made her skin crawl upon watching an interview with her, expressing rather devaluing notions towards JK, likening her writing ability to Taylor Swift’s cognitive mirroring, and expressing other intellectual high stands bringing JK down to the level of a one-day wonder who apparently needs to find her way back into spotlight on the X periphery.
Which brings me to: there is no way to make contagions or contagion percentages a measurement tool for generalisations or accuracy of anything. Including empathy, as strange as it turns out. Empathy and emotional thinking is not the same.
Bias, opinions, sympathy, antipathy, emotional thinking, narcissistic traits on a spectrum, will screw one’s clarity and judgement after all.
Will a majority contagion rather seek to avoid crowds? Only a majority contagion can answer and likely they will answer, yes, they do. Will a minority contagion seek to avoid crowds? Perhaps ditto, but perhaps not that much as a majority one.
But still there are aspects to consider after all which will play into emotional empathy for a vast number of people and not solely focusing on inconveniences which are centering around their own comfort, which will not make them ultimately indifferent to the many different people around them, likening them to demons in a tube, hoi polloi, plebeians, riffraff, bourgeoisie. That sounds rather like an erosion of empathy towards a vast number of people, I’m sure contagions are capable of experiencing as well.
But since even a majority contagion can’t be accurate in their assessment of an empath upon first attempt, or wasn’t trying to be or interested really, everyone’s free to learn how to tudorscope at the end of the day.
This whole excursion though!
Truthseekers’ clairvoyant experience opened a whole another can of worms. Thank you for sharing that, TS. It’s mind boggling.
I apologize for causing offence, Jordy.
Dani, my love, you didn’t cause offence, okay?!! You’re doing absolutely fine, you were exploring scenarios and experiences which are emotional for you personally and it’s totally understandable. If that was an offence, I can be ten times more offensive, baby, don’t worry about it. Muah.
Majority Contagions and crowds. An example I remembered and found interesting in relation to a majority Contagion being around a substantial number of all kinds of people.
Leila Jane majority Contagion 63% and the rest is a split of Super (slightly more) and CoD.
The Ultra in Conversation with Leila Jane
49:55 Festivals and busking.
HG: What do you like particularly about festivals?
LJ: I like just… it feels nice just to be free and outside and chilling and getting to play and getting to see all the music that you like and it’s just the good vibe.
HG: Now talking about playing outside you regularly busk and I’ve seen some of your videos as you’ve been busking on the streets of Dublin. Is it an uplifting experience or is it soul destroying?
LJ: I find busking to be an uplifting experience, I like it. I like the people that come up and want to talk to me and usually have nice things to say and it’s a quite warm and friendly experience and I feel the most free when I’m busking. You can just do your thing and if people like it they can engage and if they don’t then it’s fine.
I don’t think a festival is synonymous to an airport. Festivals are fun, lively and exuberant. Airports can be intimidating. They’re both crowded but the energy is totally different. Leila Jane is all over YouTube still. I’d be curious to know if she’d find being at an airport a positive emotional experience.
Hi Leigh,
You can ask her the next time Leila Jane is in a live chat with HG’s YT channel. I’ve seen some of her comments she leaves and I’m sure she’d be happy to answer you. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
I was actually being a bit of a smart ass. I think its out of turn that Jordy spoke for Leila Jane and assumed because she likes festivals, that she’d like airports too. Conparing festivals to airports is a bit of jump, if you ask me.
Hi Leigh,
Have you joined the live chats on HG’s YT channels? It’s fun and some people from the blog are there. Due to my hours at work, I can only join in the late afternoon live chats, or when I’m off of work. I would love to see you there! Xx
Hi Rebecca,
Its difficult for me to join the live chats because I’m usually working or at home. My narc husband has no idea that I follow Mr. Tudor and that’s how I want to keep it. Mr. Tudor is my dirty little secret, lol! I mean that in the nicest way possible! Anyway, I end up listening to the videos on my walks or on my drives to and from work.
I disagree. Festivals are loud and filled with drunken people who want to make contact. I feel lost at festivals or concerts and find them annoying and draining. I’ve never been to some which I liked. A theatre, a classical concert or all types of dance shows/ ballet is the type of program and crowds I find interesting and quality time spent.
I’d prefer an airport to a festival to be honest.
I began to ask people if they like being at airports, lol. They don’t. But when I ask; what about if you just drop someone off or pick them up, they see it differently, as the relaxed version of being at airports.
(I bet Leila doesn’t like airports.)
Its the total opposite for me, Jordy. I find festivals and concerts exuberant. I just try to avoid the drunk people
I would agree that if you’re just dropping someone off or picking them up from an airport, you probably are more relaxed.
Hi Leigh,
I understand work obligations, I’m at work too during most of the livechats. I catch up with the videos after work too. I enjoy the late afternoon ones because I can join them. Xx
Leigh,
I don’t like airports because of the long lines, the crowds, the noise and the stress of making your flight and it not being cancelled.
The only exception to my feelings about airports is, when I’m there to pick up a friend or family member…the excitement of seeing them makes the stress of the airport more bearable. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
Even picking up a family member or a friend at the airport can drive me bonkers. Its probably because of where I live. I’m in the suburbs of NYC and going to the airport is such a painstaking task!
Once I’m with my friend or family member or I’m at my destination, I start to relax. I’m bit high strung too and that doesn’t help, lol.
Hi Leigh,
I know what you mean, I live close to Philly’s airport and it’s a busy area. I get uptight when I get in Philly, a lot of traffic and people. It’s a bit nerve wrecking for me too, though I feel It’s worth it to catch up with a friend or family member. Xx
Jordyguin,
Just wondering…
How do you know HG’s assessment of Leila Jane and the percentages of her school categories?
HI WN,
It was mentioned in “The Ultra in Conversation with Leila Jane.” She mentions it.
Hi Dani,
I see, thank you for clarifying.
HG’s conversation with Leila Jane was enjoyable. I thought the questions HG asked her were very interesting. I could also relate to some of the things Leila Jane said.
I don’t recall hearing Leila Jane specifically mention the percentages of her empath schools though.
LMAO, WN, you not only do not watch HG’s materials till the end and break it off in the middle (Narc Island, Annabelle) you don’t watch it at all! Leila Jane in Conversation with the Ultra. Hurry up, watch it! There are character traits you can bolster on.
Hey Jordy;
I got JK right at first guess except magnet. All the rest good. I got Ricky Gervais right and I would guess carrier and magnet… maybe geyser. What do you think?
As for contagions, I see some general similarities and differences too. I think people experience things differently in the group. But just look at What makes a contagion?” Our comments are different than super or Co-d so something there. I am much better at identifying empaths than narcissists v psychopaths. I was convinced Letby was a psychopath. Narcissistic psychopaths are tough. But I gave a list of the 20 people for HG to tell me ( on KV) and it got all but two right. Still shocked at one. Maybe normal. It’s a fun package to buy!
Hope all is well!
Hi Contagious, all is well, thank you! Ricky Gervais was good, I saw an empath, yay! I completely forgot about Geyser when thinking about his Cadres but it made the most sense for his personality and the comedy aspect when HG went through the Cadres. That was cool! Geyser is cool in him!!!
You also have to purchase The Weighty 80 from KV! That list is very good!! You gotta share how many you guessed correctly?
Christian Bale is up next. What’s your guess so far?…He is one of the best actors ever and didn’t play a character in the same way twice, each one is completely different. It’s a very difficult thing to accomplish. And I love his approach of: That role would ruin my career? Bring it on!
Ohhh Bale! I got it right in the end. I knew contagion but I missed Super ( the rant) and geyser as I find him to be reserved myself. I also confuse carrier and savior. So …. I am learning and the devil is in the details lol. I agree he is one of the best. I would love to see him play with Jack Nicholson but he is retired because Jack was critical of actors that rehearsed and didn’t respond. Jack raised a real pistol in The Departed to get a rise out of Leonardo DiCaprio who he felt was too methodical and rehearsed. Jack believed in truly living in the moment and LET IT RIDE. I think Bale would have thrown many curveballs at Jack…. What an actor Bale… love it!
Hi Contagious–
I was expecting a hybrid super/contagion empath for Bale.
Oh yes, ohhh Bale!! Alongside Jack Nicholson – great choice!! Okay here is my dream role for him: in my all time favorite Ocean’s Eleven franchise!!! He gotta play the super antagonist of the Ocean’s team! Can you imagine!!! Oh please God, make it happen!
Contagious —
“I don’t shield. I don’t think. I still don’t get it, Jordy. Sorry but I see an invisible shield and so I read what you wrote but personally cannot do it.”
Me neither. I just know about it, but I can’t do it. I don’t know if I want or need to. Even if it’s pain, it has its purpose and if I would become deaf to it, it would change me.
Nature fuels me up in order to correlate with the world and it’s enough.
I think what they describe is sort of becoming unreachable. People do it mentally, raising a shield or a bubble. Niffty described doing it since her teens(?) a purple bubble. Truthseeker describes how she does it. It helps them to be in the world.
I don’t want to lose what I have, which is a certain connection to feeling-perception of deeper connection primarily with nature and the weird stuff. And if I would begin to train how to shield myself from what’s going on around me, I might lose it, as a side effect, is my suspicion.
Hello HG,
could you put Chiara Ferragni under the tudorscope?
I know she is not british or american but I think she is a wonderful example of Angel with a dirty face -somatic.
I’m not familiar with this person, but I’ll take a look.
Thank you.
In an interview (in italian) she said “I’m a narcissist”.
“Oh Jordy, you told several lies there…TOW hasn’t restocked, and she probably won’t. So there is no opportunity to purchase any products.” — Oh Dani, I haven’t. TOW is the main product and she’ll never sell out. Rebrand and continue.
“And mediocrity is more than She of the Beige is capable of achieving.” — I’m not sure, she is not that bad, not that good either, mediocrity is on point.
“I maintain that majority contagions would not go to the airport for fun.” — I wasn’t aware we spoke about Annabelle being a majority contagion? Just a possibility of having some contagion, would have been my assumption, if we would have come to a conclusion that she’s an empath. Which we haven’t. Or at least I haven’t and don’t plan to as there is not enough evidence to examine from in order for me to make any conclusion. Sorry, but I remember how several of you placed Blair (DON) as a narcissist upon one or two interviews, and she just isn’t…
“I don’t really understand why you keep trying to sell me on travelling.” — I don’t really understand why you & Co keep trying to sell me that airports are hell.
“Do you think Mr. Tudor spends his time at an airport sitting amongst the hoi polloi, plebeians, riffraff, bourgeoisie?” — I don’t think but I know as he mentioned traveling a lot and spending lot’s of time at airports, where he sometimes catches up on series and films.
Hoi polloi, plebeians, riffraff, bourgeoisie – that’s a bit rough, princess, and again a generalisation, but those of the more simple constitutions are there as well, agree. Where does he sit? I can imagine. There are a lot of places to choose from, until you can’t when it proceeds to boarding.
“The probability, or rather improbability, of that circumstance occurring (for me) is quite low. And is that more titillating or more terrifying? As you said, “saviour and destroyer.”” — I bet it’s titillating.
“Still, it would be an experience to look into Mr. Tudor’s eyes, knowing who he is.” — Agree. Magic’s in the air, Dani. But the UK has too many airports. Tough. We might need to involve Annabelle.
“Your comment here in relation to airports makes me wonder about the personal “judgements” you are making. In particular, your use of the word “oversensitives”. Which personality types or categories of people were you referring to when you used the word “oversensitives”?”
Oversensitives = whose SENSORY perception gets OVER+STIMULATED by an outer stressor = OVER+SENSITVE to sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch. Individuals with slightly shifted and richer perception opportunities, who rely on calm environments, of which the airport isn’t. They will be more concerned about the distress the overstimulation will cause than being interested in people and personalities around them, not catching on energies and vibes of different fates of the temporary stream of meet and greet of worlds in one huge building.
What did you think I was referring to, Einstein?
Jordyguin,
That’s what I thought – that you were referring to HSPs.
The judgement you were initially demonstrating without explaining *your* thought process made me wonder who (or which category) you were referring to.
While the judgement ‘oversensitive’ could equally be made about narcissists and their moment-to-moment immutable need for control, I guessed correctly that you would not regard narcissists in that way.
For your information, Jordyguin, I am very likely an HSP. Even so, I don’t “rely on calm environments”. Instead, I think my sensitivity became more pronounced *because* of chaotic environments. I believe it developed to a greater level as a self-defence mechanism in situations that were not calm.
Rather than “relying on calm environments”, I find that if I venture *anywhere* – be it airports, or shopping centres, or busy road traffic, or crowded streets, or relatively quiet environments like libraries, or hospitals, or museums, or at home alone, etc – my heightened sensitivity is a constant. It’s still there and activated regardless of the environment.
Also, HSPs are not “more concerned about the distress the overstimulation will cause than being interested in people and personalities around them”. This is a misjudgement.
I am very interested and curious about people and personalities. As a ‘truthseeker’, I enjoy discovering interesting things about people, their histories, their attitudes, and their perspectives. I enjoy engaging with others. And importantly, I’m not interested in people because I am manipulating them or I need their fuel or I expect something in return.
There is an irony in the concept of ‘sensitivity’ that is becoming more and more obvious to me. As an HSP, I can see how sensitive people can be when they are actually viscerally and cognitively insensitive. I can see how arrogant and quick-to-judge other people can be when they are actually narrowminded and not self-aware. And I can see how un-self-aware other people can be when they think they know about things they actually don’t know about. To me, there are numerous different ways to see ‘sensitivity’.
“That’s what I thought – that you were referring to HSPs.”
Then you don’t need to ask if you already know.
“…without explaining *your* thought process…”
If Dani would have needed a further explanation I would have provided it.
“For your information, Jordyguin…”
I’m not interested.
Thanks @contagious – I appreciate the detail and it’s interesting to hear more about your family. I can see the narcissism passed down in mine but hasn’t identified many empaths. I think I’m the odd one out, even among the non narcissists! I’ll read up more on contagions.
Thanks @Dani – I find it interesting seeing some sensitive type people on you tube who haven’t had these dynamics so not cptsd but how they will often share about anxiety, panic disorders etc so the temperament side is there still.
Thanks Jade!
I agree with you. The term sensitive can apply to many types. You are right. Narcs can be highly sensitive especially to criticism. A good test is to politely disagree with them. It’s not an absolute test but one I would employ. ASP are sensitive to crowds, loud noises. Some contagions are sensitive. There are some who say they feel the emotions of others. I don’t know who said it but I think contagions experience things differently. For me, I don’t feel necessarily sensitive to emotions of others. I am excellent at knowing what another is feeling. I am sensitive to anxiety and anger around me but who isn’t especially if an empath? Makes me want to go to a positive place. I can feel deeply or compassionately so if someone suffers a loss, I might cry even if I don’t know the loss personally. But that’s rare. I like people in general and find them comforting at airports especially children and dogs. I just don’t like the hassle, discomfort, lugging suitcases, costs of airports. Again, my airport is LAX. Heathrow is heaven in comparison. I like being THERE. Beam me up Scotty! lol
But while I see some common traits on here with contagions….I think we are a creative imaginative group. I think it’s obvious we are curious about the undercurrents of life which leads to “ outside the box” discussions … lol. Just click on Contagian and compare the discussions to Super or the others. Empaths are in general intuitive but contagion’s have strong intuition . Also many are spiritual… like JK. Again “ the whys.” HG has not revealed what creates his classification system except Co-D. Like why does someone become “ Super.?” Personally I think that it definitely is genetic … I am a lot like my father and his side of the family and my many cousins and my DNA is too. My siblings have different percents if DNA and they look more different than me and favor my mothers side. I would be proud to have just 1% of my Aunts virtue. They were my hero’s. And I think if you look in your early life of who you admired and loved, you were setting up role models to become. So if you had narcs in your family, there might have been one non-narc you loved and admired and went in that direction! It takes only ONE person to make a difference. HG discusses his mother who is a narc, and he liked the power she wielded. So nurture and nature but in my humble opinion, DNA is strongest. I have seen it in watching children grow. My best friends father moved away when she was a baby yet she both looks like him and has his personality. Outside genes and role models, based on my life experience I think it’s a coping style. I was a spiritual, curious little creative type who played outside as much as possible and created imagination games for my friends like faeries in the Forrest, escape from prison ( running on stones in a pond) and wrote poetry, made films, created Saturday morning celebrations for my younger siblings where I would turn the tv room into a theme park. Hunted for hours for leprechauns. Creative type. I had imaginary friends. My bears were alive. My dog understood our conversations. God was present to talk to. And I think that if there was a stressful situation, nature and a creative internal space or prayer was my “ out” of it. So maybe it’s also a coping mechanism ? I am a mature women now and it is still my “ go too.” I was an actress until pregnant, am an author and painter or mixed media artist. I am whimsical and deeply religious ( privately). If life gets too stressful, work in the garden, walk my dogs, start painting, pray, journal , music. Poof! Also I was the oldest child, carrier? Also I wonder if empaths can be created by a reaction to a narc… nope that’s the last thing I want to be like a child who grows up in poverty and says “ nope never will I be poor again.” That’s my theories but HG might blow it out of the water! I look forward to his series on origins of the classes and cadres.
Hi Contagious,
A series on the origins of the classes and cadres of empaths sounds very interesting. I hope HG does do that; it would be riveting.
Like you say, I also think genetic predisposition is the primary factor. That is where everything, including the personality, starts.
Environmental and social factors and experiences, I believe, will make the primary genetic makeup of the personality start to go in certain directions and develop further from there.
The environmental factors begin to have an effect very early on. Even while in the mother’s womb, a baby’s personality will be affected by the mother’s emotions, stress and adrenalin levels, and the things she eats and drinks, for example.
You know Wisernow… dna, we agree but the age narcissism starts bugs me and I lean to HG 0-9 versus Sam Vatnim 6 months or up to 3 years? So… this is my little theory. A baby cries. You pick it up. You feed the baby. I slept with mine. I always responded. Ok it has a Pavlov dog effect in the little brain. I cry. I get fed. I cry. I get dry. I cry. I feel warmth. But somewhere deep within a human brain. I cry. I matter. Now my angelic near saint Aunt had 11 children and they slept upstairs. Perhaps the older girls answered the cries. Perhaps my Aunt trudged upstairs overnight. Or did she let them cry. Her advice to me when the milk came in was use lettuce leaves to cool them. Her advice to me at potty training was they go when they are biologically ready. She was kindness incarnate. Big smile. Devoted mother. Never complained. Never gossiped. Rarely angered. Her virtue was enough to make you want to be better. But what if she let her babies cry at night and got up early and cared for them? All of her children are college educated, most married, many had 4 kids, and loving. One thing I know with 11 children, individual attention is tough. The two oldest girls had no children no doubt as little mothers. But how do you know a baby is a narcissist at 6 months to 3 years? It’s brain is still growing. Developing. Dr Klines good and bad breast? Now narcs don’t change so 0-18 mama is a narc. But it just seems to me that it would take longer. Ok maybe if a baby or toddler was raped or terribly abused. But otherwise, it seems to me even if mom was a narc, interveners could appear once a bit older like dad, a sibling, a grandmother anyone. And while it is important to nurture 0-3. Look at the Romanian orphanage study where there was no touch and they all had PHYSICAL as well as psychological problems and a baby can die if fed not loved. But you look at the homeless so many mentally ill and substance abuse is a chicken and the egg: was it mental illness that caused you to abuse or did you abuse and get mental illness? It seems to me as a society emphasis on the nurture of children is needed worldwide. Maybe even mandatory parenting classes and throw in mandatory pet ownership classes. Knowledge is power after all. Jade as a doctor would love you to weigh in. When I was younger with time, I founded a national charitable arm for children and through events at a local home. I mentored two young girls in the Big Sister program and to this day about 12-15 children visit my home daily to visit my dogs but I talk to them. My goal: always make them feel important, special and also to listen. Sometimes the things you hear are tough. My dad sleeps on the sofa. My dad beat the dog. My mom was in jail for theft years ago. I haven’t seen my sister, I want to but she doesn’t like my mom. The kids call me fat. I am austistic and kids tease me. On and on and on. I also get a line of adults with legal issues. I always validate what they say after listening and tell them my opinion which is designed to build ego while never denigrating the parents. To put down a parent is to put down a child. I know they trust me even if their parents don’t and most are my friends except the man who hurt his dog. Another neighbor reported it and I warned him. I would too. And yet his wife and daughter are my friends. He hasn’t worked in 20 years. Enough said. 300 pounds of misery. Narc.
I’m not a doctor, @contagious I think @Josephina mentioned she was…
Hi Contagious,
When I first read your comment here, I found the numerous points you raise very interesting. There are many tangents and rabbit-holes I could have traversed in response.
At the time I first read your comment, I didn’t reply because there didn’t seem anything very relevant or interesting I could have said or added, other than to acknowledge that I have read it and to thank you.
I’m sorry I didn’t reply earlier.
————————-
I’ve returned to your comment now, after watching a YouTube video called ‘Jo Frost on Britain’s Killer Kids.’ Jo Frost is the nanny best known from the reality television program ‘Supernanny UK.’
In the video I watched, Jo Frost discusses four separate cases of child murderers. The cases are disturbing and horrific. The children and teens involved are discussed in terms of their upbringing, family life, motivations, and personality traits.
To respond to you, Contagious, I’d like to reference one of the children – Daniel Bartlam – who brutally killed his mother in 2011 when he was 14.
Daniel’s early childhood unfolded as follows:
– His mother and biological father were unmarried when he was born;
– His mother and biological father married when he was three;
– During Daniel’s early childhood, he grew up as an only child in a middle-class, comfortable lifestyle and attended a private school;
– A younger brother was born when Daniel was about eight;
– When Daniel was nine, his mother and biological father divorced which was traumatising for Daniel;
– After the divorce, Daniel’s mother moved to a less affluent neighborhood in a smaller house and Daniel no longer attended a private school. He did not enjoy being at his new state school and was very angry about it. He thought “it was below him”;
– Daniel’s mother began a relationship with another man when Daniel was eleven. This man became Daniel’s step-father.
From the accounts of the step-father, Daniel became very isolated and reclusive after he began to attend a state school, spending a lot of his time alone in his room watching horror movies and violent TV programs.
His mother left him largely alone and did not question his activities. Rather, she doted on him and allowed his behaviours to continue without restriction. According to Daniel’s step-father, the decision to buy a house together that the family could move to was based on Daniel’s choice. He was given the authority to “rule the roost” even though he was a child.
Daniel’s step-father said that Daniel’s mother was very loving, very caring and “took a genuine interest in people.” At the same time, she did not question or discipline Daniel in an authoritative way. For example, when it was discovered that Daniel had hidden his mother’s underwear in a laptop bag, instead of questioning or admonishing him, his mother’s response was, “oh, that’s where they went. I was wondering where they’d gotten to.”
Contagious,
From your comment, you say your aunt had eleven children and was “kindness incarnate.” With eleven children, it was likely impossible to consistently give each child the individual attention, care, guidance, and authoritative discipline they required.
However, with eleven children growing up together, there was plenty of socialisation, attention, guidance and ‘learning’ that they received from each other. Also, with a kind and devoted mother, there was an overarching caring and peaceful atmosphere in the house overall.
Importantly, there was a proportionally strong likelihood that the children had empathic genetic predispositions as well.
With regard to a number of cases I have heard about, it is apparent to me that an only child who has a genetic predisposition of narcissism or psychopathy AND who does not have the necessary socialisation in early childhood can be especially prone to becoming a narcissist or psychopath.
I think that being an only child in early childhood with a genetic predisposition, especially with a permissive or doting mother or alternatively, a harsh and unloving mother, can be a recipe for disaster.
The mix of:
-a genetic predisposition;
-being an only child in early childhood;
-traumatisation in early childhood; and
an enabling or rejecting mother in early childhood
… fosters a lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement that overtakes ‘normal’ cognitive development.
This mix becomes solidified if not adequately addressed in time and can lead to disastrous consequences.
Apart from the horrific consequences that can ensue, it also predicts a worsening trajectory if not addressed.
For example, Daniel Bartlam is now in prison and will spend most, if not all, of his life incarcerated.
His step-father said that he feels nothing for Daniel as though he doesn’t even exist.
It’s a tragic situation all round.
Contagious,
Thank you for your comment and sorry for such a longwinded reply.
In your comment, you raised numerous points about childhood and early childhood development that made me reflect on the points raised in the video I watched about child murderers.
Wisernow: sorry I referenced Jade, a doctor and GOOD points!
Thanks @Contagious. I identify with a lot of what you shared too.. I was very imaginative and loved alone time as a child. For me I get very overwhelmed in crowds and pick up on a lot in most interactions so need a lot of down time to feel good. Before learning about narcissism about six years ago, I often thought what I picked up on meant there was something wrong with me, and internalised it but since trimming down my inner circle and learning about narcissists, I can see I was/am co-d and people pleasing and often feeling dissatisfied with interactions thinking it was my fault. No more though and in middle aged, I’m beginning to feel healthier mentally and have removed all the Ns I can from my life. 😅
Oh that’s wonderful Jade! You have a stressful demanding career too! Like me. You hold their lives. I hold their money which can equate to a life. My daughter once said I want to be a CEO mommy”, I don’t want to take care of other people’s problems.” lol I guess I was not the role model she aspired to be! But both my children are polite, kind, compassionate, hardworking and HAPPY! It “ fuels” me. lol I have a majority martyr cadre so beyond Co-D. I don’t think it appeared in my relationship with a narc as I am good at boundaries. BUT it appears in my religious beliefs and the ninth mile I will go to help another if I believe justice must be served. I am a bit crazy if I see an injustice. I will go to hell on Earth to right the wrong even with no pay. For example, I did an appeal on a contingency of 100,000 if I won. My competitor said $350,009. This is a man worth 60 million. He could afford the fees. He was a victim of political corruption. I almost won! Went straight down party lines. I killed myself doing it. He gave me 5,000. I took on a case against Germany who arrested my ex boyfriend ( who will be in Blood In Blood Out on Hulu next and in Martin Scorchese next film) on rape charges in Spain and took him to Germany. They deprived him of medicine and he spent 8 months in jail. Baby mama lied as a custody battle. He took it up to the EU. She was married to a German and but bio dads had no rights then….. He changed the law. Germany released him and paid him 200$ with an apology of wrongful arrest after my intervention in the USA. I got him what he wanted. The baby mama shares custody with him today. He got to see his son. He had no money. I ate the cost. The weekends? The nights? Wow. Not to mention the fight in federal court to get jurisdiction. My beloved neighbor, my mothers age, raised her grand daughter when her daughter lost custody due to physical abuse by her then Navy husband. We raised “ our girls” together. This grandma was an excellent loving mom and her granddaughter/ daughter flourishes today. But when her own mother died, her nephew the executor, stole all the funds. The grandma /mim/my friend needed it to save her home. I knew nothing about probate but stepped in. I was a single mother of two with soccer, football, dance, cheerleading, baton, theatre and school and a demanding career. But I did it. I got her nephew removed, got her most of the money and it saved her home. I was paid nothing. Do I regret it? Does a busy plastic surgeon who goes to Mexico and does facial reconstruction on cleft lips regret it? No. I have many more examples including to date. I am freely representing a con artist but he is being subject to racial abuse. So yup. I will help narcs if it’s a cause I hate. . . I hate the martyr label as a doormat. I am no doormat. Will I hurt myself time and money wise for a cause I believe even if it means backlash to myself? Pain? Money loss? Sleepless nights? Physical distress? I often push myself physically for others but ky mind and conviction is strong. Resolute. Absolute. YES. In my personal relationship, if he didn’t work. Bye! I threw him out and wouldn’t let him back. So I hate being called a martyr with him. I did go there to his country and thought well counseling… oh well. Over. But when someone crosses a line that I cannot tolerate. I am in. I do it for myself and I do it for others. And well… Jesus is my God. I don’t push it on others but I only answer to Him. Only Him. He is all that guides me. Everyone else is not as important. My value system. And I thought it was interesting…. JK Rowling carrier shows up in her family. I see my martyr. It comes up with an injustice. I will hurt myself and go through fire to right a wrong for myself and others. I am borderline crazy about that. I don’t mind the fire if it is for my belief. For me or for others. Not always a loved one. I am told often I am a good person to have in your corner. I hear stories in here and I only wish I had their number. …. Lol
Hi Jade:
Congrats on removing narcs! In my job, there is no avoiding them. lol in my personal life, very rare but lucky me, I cut my teeth on my second husband. Thank goodness for HG. When my now ex husband first gave me an absent silent treatment, I thought he was injured in a hospital or dead. I had no idea what a silent treatment was. He grew up with it. The air he breathes. I did not so it was shocking. Thank goodness for HG. I think I found him in 2015 on his old site. I tried others too but he was better than the rest.
Funny, I didn’t think there was something wrong with me, I thought everyone on the planet was just like me, lol. I did! For example, I have regular lucid dreams and I was shocked to learn most others did not. I thought everyone read me the way I read others. It took a long time to realize that was not the case and it can hurt you. For example when I was 5, I looked for leprechauns and fairies and 4 leaf clovers. My little 5 year old friend Johnny told me to bury my piggy bank in the ground and the leprechauns would bring me a pot of gold. I did and in the morning my piggy bank was gone. Hard lesson to learn! lol I have a tendency to this day to see the good in people which is not a bad thing per se but it can lead to being used. I have become better as I have aged and HG has helped. I am not a people pleaser but I am a nurturer. I try to make someone feel better about themselves or life but I don’t like to be controlled. I rebel against it. So if someone wants me to do something I don’t want to do, I try to find a gentle way of NO. lol But like you, I love my down time and I realize how much of it is outdoors. Got to carry sunscreen!!!! It’s a true pleasure to meet you and I love your name and the stone:)
Sorry I missed this @contagious – I see a lot of similarities in myself from what you’ve shared. X
Hi HG. I bought the Addiction package where you recommend the article on The Pitchfork but I can only see a picture and find no.video on the subject. Can you help ?
I recommend you email me at narcissist1909@gmail.com so you can give me more information to enable me to help you.
Dear Mr Tudor,
I couldn’t get thru ! 😢
Hello Bubbles,
If you are talking about Gumroad, I’m facing this issue, too, sometimes. VPN helps me. Turn it on, and try to download again. Maybe you need to clean your phone to free some space.
Could Annabelle be a Normal?
Questions and observations:
1. Is it common for Normals to be interested in the supernatural, paranormal and such like, or are they rather down to earth individuals who rely on credible proof and scepticism? Are Normals prone to magical thinking?
2. Would a Normal pick such an amorphous field and profession where they have to invest themselves in a variety of different people mentally in one on one private sessions, seeking to help them?
3. Aren’t Normals rather stable enough to make a fortune in a steadfast industry, where there is more reliability on a regular income, services, demands and products?
4. Whilst Normals can be manipulative and deceptive for their own profit gain, the main baseline would be – what you see is what you get – they are not psychologically dependent to maintain a facade, a veneer. Whilst insecurities and fears may be covered up by all categories of people in the form of a mask, it’s different to conscious lying.
Which brings to question: If in Annabelle’s private sessions she is consciously lying to people, she would need to maintain a consistency, a facade, a veneer, and make things up during the psychic readings. This is a somewhat rather enormous psychological expense.
Is the satisfaction by way of misleading people and the money she gets out of this really worth it? Whilst pretending to care and to be good? (facade/veneer necessity)
5. Her husband would need to play along with her lies.
6. By having a public platform and business linked to her real identity she risks massive reputation damage if her clients would begin to defraud her. Would a Normal, who would need to pretend and consciously manipulate her clients, go for such a risk?
7. Would a Normal unconsciously manipulate her clients by believing a magical thinking scenario in her head combined with a cognitive reading ability of psychological indicators?
8. What dosage of magical thinking plausibility would be part of Normal’s constitution?
Hi Jordyguin,
“3. Aren’t Normals rather stable enough to make a fortune in a steadfast industry, where there is more reliability on a regular income, services, demands and products?”
[I’m going to ignore your antagonistic rants, Jordy, and respond to your comment here anyway in the interests of scientific research and rational questioning in this blog arena we both happen to find ourselves in. Hopefully this will lead to an intelligent, factual, and open-minded conversation. 🙂 ]
Considering your question above from a different angle, if a normal is working in an industry, he/she is likely to be answerable to a narcissist. It’s likely that there would be one or more narcissists in a position of authority or control.
That being the case, a normal is not going to be as emotionally susceptible to a narcissist’s manipulations. Also, a normal will not necessarily be targeted consistently or negatively by a narcissist in authority for fuel.
A normal would be more likely to instinctively draw a line and resist the narcissist’s manipulations. If targeted by the narcissist, a normal would probably fly under the radar and not provide fuel. It would be a case of “stay out of the narcissist’s way, go along to get along, and don’t make any waves.”
In this way, the innate personality of the normal is going to lead to a kind of natural stability in the job or industry whether they are aware of a need to remain stable or not.
“Hopefully this will lead to an intelligent, factual, and open-minded conversation. 🙂 ]”
Impossible.
You can stop trying.
An empath would simply stop trying.
“An empath would simply stop trying.”
No. An empath entrenched in a particular line of thought is far more tenacious than a narcissist.
“No. An empath entrenched in a particular line of thought is far more tenacious than a narcissist.”
Sure. Keep trying “empath”.
The remaining thing to say is, gladly I’m not alone and thanks to other attentive readers in the past the never ending custerf**k of WhingerNow’s narcissism was pointed out before and I happen to join that group.
If you are comfortable in being inattentive and are not eager to apply HG’s knowledge in your day to day interactions including the blog, after all the years, and still not paying attention to the variety of statements and reactions, not recognising where a person falls within certain logic and behaviour — you absolutely deserve to be duped by narcissists of WiserNow’s ilk. Holy cow, even her name is a red flag and a most apt Freudian slip. A person wants to be repeatedly addressed by others as a WISE person. An inflated self on display before your eyes, on and on.
For an empathic logic; It’s not oneself who is to point out that you are wise, it is others who determine if a person has meaningful things to say and unassumingly shares their subjective and objective insights which will be gradually acknowledged and must be reflected through a high density of their statements and interactions, and still an empathic person, or any other truly insightful person, would reject and feel uncomfortable of being referred to as wise, which is a very grandiose state to be in or assume about oneself.
But which classification of a person operates with such grandiosity of needing to blatantly claim to be a source of wisdom which needs to be acknowledged as such by name?
Put yourself in her shoes for a minute and feel how it feels to be addressed as Wiser..!!! Over and over again. Feels too much, doesn’t it. Too much of a fake perception of oneself. But for her it’s killing two birds with one stone: asserting control by (a) recognition demand by making it a name, even if it doesn’t reflect reality, and (b) putting on a label of elevated perception and making everyone a shareholder of her fantasy.
The “Now” in her name is a Freudian slip of having to assert control in the Now which she does by eradicating what went on previously as she alters reality from moment to moment and can’t overlook the inconsistency of the “empathic” facade.
Just one of the many bits of pieces which are in your face but you are not interested in analysing… Fair enough.
Hi WhoCares and Jordyguin,
Jordyguin,
For a while, your incessant ranting was a little annoying – like having a pesky little stone in your shoe while walking that just can’t stop making its existence far more noticeable than its size would justify.
With this – your latest blitzkrieg of outrageous slings and arrows – you have actually made me laugh out loud.
Jordyguin,
I would caution that “wiser” can be both more and less than “wise”, it is not the same as “wise”. “Wiser now” simply is a comparison with an earlier state of wisdom or lack thereof. And if a grandiose user name on the blog was an accurate predictor of narcissism, the number of commenters needing to be classified as narcissists would rise noticeably.
Jordyquin,
I assume the following comment was directed at me:
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-21/#comment-461013
I can’t reply to yours directly as the reply button is absent. But – you certainly assumed much and read a lot into my comment that wasn’t actually there…if you were speaking to me.
Just a note on the topic of names, ‘WiserNow’ could indicate a feeling of being wiser since having found HG’s blog. Many likely feel this way.
When I saw your post, WC, I felt certain Jordyguin was going to defer to you as she generally defers to long term members especially if she sees those members as being in HG’s good graces. That she not only didn’t defer to you but was disrespectful was surprising.
She perhaps saw your comment as a defence of WN through the suggestion WN could be tenacious yet still be an empath, which may have aggravated her. But your comment could also be read as a defence of Jordy herself, indicating that whilst she might have been and continues to be tenacious in her campaign to dissuade others that WN isn’t a narcissist (her post to you included) she could still be an empath.
She’s very angry at me at the moment for a range of reasons and it’s possible that because you appeared to defend WN as I’ve been doing she transferred some of that anger onto you. If that was the case, I apologise.
Hi annaamel,
I certainly wouldn’t expect a reader to defer to any position of mine simply based on the fact that I’m a long-term student of HG’s work and reader of the blog. I would just go to the evidence, as HG teaches us.
I was explicitly responding to Jordyguin’s statement that “an empath would simply stop trying”, as opposed to a narcissist.
I made the statement simply as a result of my observations over time here on the blog (observing conversations between empaths or between empaths & HG), my observations of confirmed empaths in my real life, and because I disagree with the idea that empaths would give up before narcissists in persisting with their point or argument. Empaths can be quite tenacious in not letting go of certain issues.
When I stated that “an empath entrenched in a particular line of thought is far more tenacious than a narcissist”, I meant empaths in general, and was not taking a position on WiserNow. But I will share it if you want to know my position – I do think WiserNow is an empath. I also think Jordyguin is an empath. (And, it’s actually mildly funny that they both have accused or insinuated that the other is a narcissist.)
So, your suggestion that my comment possibly looked like defence of WN, or alternatively, defence of Jordyguin was on point. It was in defense of them both.
In response to your last paragraph:
“it’s possible that because you appeared to defend WN as I’ve been doing she transferred some of that anger onto you. If that was the case, I apologise.”
There’s no need for you to apologize for another reader’s anger. I inserted myself into the conversation. And, Jordyguin’s anger is her own issue.
WhoCares, you appoint anger being my driver where I present my observations on evidence which is demonstrated over a sustained period of time. I’m demonstrating contempt for certain aspects of the narcissist, not anger. And this is uncomfortable for some of you to witness because you missed the red flags (being a long term reader) and also benefit from or enjoy her facade and her benign hoovering where it accords with your way of thinking, where her cognitive empathy adapts and is at play. However 404 statements and occasional glitches crack her facade and sometimes intensely. I don’t expect the empaths who’ve been involved and duped by narcissists their whole life to all of the sudden notice that very manipulations which they were groomed to perceive as normal and tie to emotional empathy.
If your statement was a general observation on empaths “an empath entrenched in a particular line of thought is far more tenacious than a narcissist” and not a position on WN, a clarification on that from the beginning would have been beneficial, instead of throwing me a crumb of information which was open for interpretation.
As you may have noticed I’m not throwing baseless accusations around but provide my observations based on evidence and analysis for which I can provide reference.
“an empath entrenched in a particular line of thought is far more tenacious than a narcissist” — Being a statement in relation to empaths in general — your statement is not accurate.
a) An empath entrenched in Emotional Thinking can become tenacious for a certain period of time but can never beat a narcissist in that field. A narcissist usually plays a central part of provoking the tenaciousness of the emotional thinking befallen empath.
b) An empath with a truthseeker trait and justice seeking can also become tenacious and unshakable whilst using logic.
Both states can mix up or can be monitored and kept apart.
“She’s very angry at me…”
No, I have contempt towards you, not anger. Anger is not an effective method of engaging with a manipulator like you, Annaamel.
Jordyguin,
I didn’t assign any emotion(s) as being your driver. I was responding to Annaamel’s comment and pointing out that she need not feel responsible for any negative emotions, of yours, directed at me. She used the word ‘anger’. But now we are all aware – due to your clarification – that what you’re expressing is contempt. Thanks for that.
I’m aware that you have used several points of evidence to back your opinion.
“And this is uncomfortable for some of you to witness because you missed the red flags (being a long term reader) and also benefit from or enjoy her facade and her benign hoovering where it accords with your way of thinking…”
I cannot speak for others, but personally I am not uncomfortable because I have missed red flags. I am uncomfortable when someone is being wrongly accused of being an narcissist.
In response to your points:
a) I stand by my statement.
b) Agreed, absolutely.
Thank you for your reply and explanation, WhoCares. I respect your view and opinion.
And what’s confusing even more, WiserNow, are the contradictions of this nature.
You pat yourself on the back by stating:
“I wasn’t flustered or anxious about the disruption. I didn’t think ‘why me and why now?’ I just carried on” — because you knew that Mercury is in retrograde and complications are fine and that wouldn’t make you complain, self pity and anxious.
But what about all those other instances where you whinge and complain about construction workers, experiencing dread from basic encounters, complaints about doctors and plethora of further examples you had in store, and other complaints even of nature as to whinge about HG’s legs picture?!
Wasn’t Mercury not in retrograde on all these other occasions??
Or could it be that victimhood mentality has nothing to do with the cosmos and that narcissism and narcissistic traits cannot be influenced by a freaking multiverse full of planets?!! Could it be that if the narcissist is well fueled there will be less complications and if not there will be complaints and whinge and attacks.
You complained about Narc Island and Annabelle — of which you didn’t even bother to watch properly but jumped to criticism because it didn’t align with your feminist delusion and magical thinking astrology.
You defended narc women (narc island participants) by stating:
“This is gratuitous and misogynistic. Especially so in relation to independent women who have earned their own living in male-dominated fields. It’s just more of the same-old same-old. Boring. From experience, my working life was made extremely difficult because of sexist bullying and abuse like this. The thing that stands out the most to me is the author(s)’s fixation on sex.”
You completely IGNORED the fact that not just Jolie, Amber and Katie, but more obvious Madonna – the Queen of Sex (not Pop!!!) cultivated generations of fans who adopted a whore like behaviour after she continued to popularise it through her grotesque depiction of woman’s sexuality and fixation on sex and provocation she based her career on (not on singing talent!!!) and impregnated the society with an idea that women are sex thirsty ad infinitum and men should expect it and make part of their understanding of women, and females and males of all ages were encouraged to live HER IDEA of a somatic narc who is fixed until her last breath to display her sex-addict behaviour publicly on stage, even in her sixties.
What did you do, WiserNow? You blamed the males:
“The thing that stands out the most to me is the author(s)’s fixation on sex. I think it would be more helpful and funny for many more people worldwide if this focused on the likes of very prominent male narcs who are making life extremely difficult for millions of people.”
You scapegoat the males because you are limited in your views when a threat to control arises and you paint people black. Narcissists view only in black and white, and you can’t control yourself when someone falls within the ‘black’ category and you run to your keyboard and pump out your malign hoover and direct assertion of control.
And then you turn around and paint them white again and pump out your benign hoovers such as -I wouldn’t know where I would be now without HG.
Or you do this: You call the Tudorites -critical thinking lacking guru fans and then you turn around and hoover them benignly through your commentary after, when it suits you, under the auspices that you’re just commenting like anybody else here does.
You have a pretty damn good cognitive empathy, WiserNow, but you are consistent in the contradictions and jabs you left all over the blog for years, and provided evidence for the indicators of certain nature.
If you’re so sure that Wiser Now is a narcissist, why do you still engage? Why haven’t you gone no contact? Why do you feel compelled to interact with her?
Because she is harmless and there is no real adverse consequence for me by way of engaging with her, other than she steals, or more accurately, I give away my attention which I sometimes would rather focus elsewhere.
For instance whenever I and other readers comment favorably about HG expressing our admiration, it blows her up. It happened to me just recently on two different threads, on three now, including this here – four. She immediately puts a provocation under a comment and draws the attention back onto her, asserting control in this way. Just as she did right now under my dream comment. She hates when HG receives admiration and it pushes her buttons to get HG and the admirer under control, focusing back on her. Understandably for a narcissist though. But look how happy and fed she seems now, after having received challenge fuel. You’re, Mary, are probably more affected than her, but she’s doing great. I don’t know…see it as fuel donation for a narc who works so hard in order for me to understand how narcissists of her ilk tick. She can be amusing in her mishaps and predictability and it’s interesting to watch how the construct choses with which information to engage first, second and so on. She picks a response and responds almost in the same way she did in the past. It’s interesting to note, now that I’ve seen this before. She changed something up as well (character traits acquisition). She is not aware though.
But you know what you’re right…Mary. I just listened, had an insight…Thank you for the reminder!!
I was going ro follow up and ask why you don’t follow the first golden rule of freedom, once you know, you go. But I see you got there.
Naa, I didn’t get there fully. But I hope I’ll do it at one point.
Hi Mary,
“If you’re so sure that Wiser Now is a narcissist, why do you still engage? Why haven’t you gone no contact? Why do you feel compelled to interact with her?”
Between you and me, I think Jordyguin likes my fuel, Mary 😉
See what I mean, Mary? The happiest person on the blog, completely oblivious. The twinline of narc defence in action.
Only if it were that easy and couldn’t be proved who habitually initiates the hoovers.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Has TOW gone off her meds (same with H)?
In relation to her latest hospital dancing video, it appears desperation has “pulled out all stops” . They are both an utter disgrace!
Decorum – nil
Classy – nil
Ladylike – nil
Self respect – nil
Pride – nil
Dignity – nil
Elegance – nil
Graceful – nil
Privacy – nil
Decency – nil
The name change to Sussex from wanting Spencer speaks volumes.
(I can relate, as our son has changed his “family” surname (insistence by the lesser narc of course) another intended slap in the face to us)
The Queen would be “turning in her grave”
Dear Mr Tudor and lovelies,
Just seeking “confirmation” on how bad the state of play is regarding (boat people) illegal immigrants, refugees and asylum seekers in the UK, Sweden, France, Germany, etc please.
I understand Poland and Hungary have implemented tough policies.
Many thanks
Hello Bubbles,
here in Germany they are just starting to tighten the rules. We had a huge influx in 2015/2016 from Syria and the like and then again from Ukraine when Russia invaded in 2022 (with a net influx of 1.5 million people into the country). Right now we have about 3.5 million refugees, of which 1.2 million are Ukrainians, out of a population of 84 million. The Ukrainians have special status so do not need to apply for asylum and are allowed to work.
Previous governments have made immigrating extraordinarily attractive in terms of the benefits migrants would receive and how easy it was to move their whole family here when only one person had applied for asylum in the first place. This led to a situation where thousands of Syrian men came here alone, leaving their wives, mothers and children behind in a war-torn country (such paragons of masculinity!) and then, once the man had successfully applied for asylum, the family would be moved here as well. Apparently Syria was too dangerous for the men, so they needed to flee, but it was alright for the women and children to stay there on their own. At least now refugees no longer get paid cash money, which they would often send home, instead they get a card they can use to shop here. Our new government is in the process of tightening the borders. But the courts are blocking certain measures (that are apparently deemed perfectly legal in other EU countries, which is all too familiar of a situation here), so it’s going to be a hard road. Our state governments are very slow when it comes to sending people back home who are not entitled to stay here. Public opinion is really demanding to curtail immigration, not least because we have seen asylum seekers commit a string of homicidal attacks. The extremist right-wing AfD party saw their share of the vote double to 20% in this year’s election.
The most xenophobic parts of the country are those where they have the lowest numbers of immigrants, an area identical with the territory of the former GDR. This is no surprise, it’s a direct result and legacy of 40 years of socialist rule.
The numbers have dropped off significantly this year. But we still have local government straining under the flood of people they need to house and, most of all, pay for.
Dear Anna,
Many thanks for your insightful explanation from Germany’s position Anna.
I was conversing with an Austrian visitor recently who resides in a distant town and is relatively unaffected atm, however, is extremely concerned with the current situation.
In Australia, we are experiencing an unprecedented number of machete attacks along with female violence and rape from a predominantly imported ethnicity. One state has recently banned machetes, however, it’s only a Band-Aid solution.
“In 2004, the Australian govt introduced the “Baby Bonus”. The payment was initially $3,000 then later increased to $5,000. It was to encourage families to have more children and address the declining birth rate.” It apparently was successful.
I would’ve reintroduced the Baby Bonus first (it would’ve been way more cost effective) before the “narcissistic powers that be” decided otherwise and let in the dregs of society for “cheap labour” who don’t want to work nor assimilate (it’s always about money). It has already been confirmed that those who are inbred lack IQ and are prone to more violence.
“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop” as they say 😈
Hi, Bubbles–
Excellent question. The purpose of a system is what it does.
As far as I’m concerned our situation with illegal immigration in America was designed, implemented, and instigated by Democrats and Marxists to influence the Census numbers (thereby increasing House reps and Electoral College votes) and cultivate an army of voters beholden to them. It’s why they don’t want the citizenship question on the Census or voter ID. The invasion is designed to tear America apart from the inside, replace American culture, burn down our country, and use racial grievance narratives as a means of controlling the populace. It’s about the long march through our institutions.
Since LBJ Democrats have engaged in an especially pernicious form of racism by using blacks as a means to strengthen the Left’s influence, i.e through promoting things like decriminalizing marijuana as being especially popular with blacks, or the Defund the Police movement, etc. Such efforts as promoting cultural assimilation, capitalism, maintaining law and order or educational and other merit standards are framed as disproportionately harmful to blacks. And therefore racist. All while constantly pushing the message that black Americans are somehow uniquely impotent in history regarding overcoming enslavement and its afterlife.
The Democrats need needy people.The push to the Right amongst Latinos is an utter shock to them. If you’re a person with American values of independence and self-determination that is a threat to them. And who is needier or more vulnerable than an illegal alien who doesn’t speak English? It’s why the Biden administration flooded us with millions of them. The tactical use of chaos. Harris would have continued this.
There are numerous examples, but one is the push by the Left against voter ID because–it’s argued–that black people just can’t get their act together enough to have state identification. Because slavery. Because racism. Because police. Because all blacks are children.
Blacks are still useful as agents of chaos. But blacks are only a small percentage of the voting bloc and the men are swinging Right. Therefore illegals. Islamization. Globalism. Judicial nullification. Socialism. Terror.
The push to have open borders–and thus the mass immigration and push for later amnesty–is about sharpening white liberal guilt in the service of lining the pockets of and strengthening the power of certain elites. This process is exactly what turned California from a Republican state to a Democrat state. It’s about numbers. Electoral votes. But they hide behind a cause, “social justice”. They were able to successfully smear anyone as racist (or misogynistic, or ableist, or transphobic) and terrorize people socially and economically. I think what’s happening to resist this in the US and other Western nations means those days are dying. Not dead, but dying.
To my mind there are few people more pathetic, violent, corrosive, pointless, and racist than those on the Left. And they’re using illegal immigration to replace the people and cultures they hate. The purpose is destruction.
‘To my mind there are few people more pathetic, violent, corrosive, pointless, and racist than those on the Left.’
I’m politically left, Allison.
Annaamel,
Look at the sentence directly following the one you quoted. If that is not true for you, why are you liberal? Do you in fact hate America and American culture so much that what the illegals offer is preferred? What exactly has America done to deserve such hatred? In a truly Marxist state, one would never be allowed to hold “No Kings” riots, not to mention the destructive BLM and Antifa riots of 2020. Not to mention the J6ers and what happened to them. Etc, the list of our freedom on display is very long. We would have no freedom for these things or anything else that the Marxist leaders denied at their whim. America offers freedom on a level that many have never and will never know. They see that and want it but then want to change it to what they did know. Why would we want that, why would any American want that? Except those who think they will be the ones in power, the rest are useful idiots, disposed of when no longer needed. People on both sides can hopefully state why they believe as they do, if they can’t, sometimes further research is warranted.
Thank you, AA. Your response to Jordy regarding Allison’s comments hit the nail on the head!
Leigh, I can’t stand AA’s approach so I address you again directly and not just over answering her. Re negative commenting: In your case you made an impression of wanting a privilege of commenting negatively where you want it but deny this option to others. Empaths are no saints. If you’re driven to make a negative comment, so be it, but remember not to forbid others the same freedom. Your vulnerable spot is your daughter, for Allison it may be politics. It’s not just about you and how her comments make you feel, it’s also about Allison and how she feels in relation to what she is passionate about.
Jordy,
Did you not call me out for calling the psychic full of shit? Yes, you did. Are you the only one whose allowed to do that? No, you’re not. I never said you can’t call me out for my negative comments. This is an open forum. Just like you’re allowed to call me out, I’m allowed to call Allison out. Period. End of story.
And for the record, Allison’s comments was about a whole group of people, my comment was specific to Annabelle. Its not the same.
“And for the record, Allison’s comments was about a whole group of people, my comment was specific to Annabelle. Its not the same.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s about a whole group or one person. If you call one person being full of shit, Allison is allowed to do the same, be it a group or one person.
“Did you not call me out for calling the psychic full of shit?”
No. Go back and check.
We were analysing what Annabelle could be and what arguments spoke for her either being a narcissist, or an empath, or something else. First of all you didn’t want to acknowledge that it may be too soon to call her a narc only after one interview. And that at this early stage we can only speak of the narcissist’s indicators as HG teaches us. Then at one point you decided to call her being full of shit, which WN copied for her statement though she didn’t even watch the whole interview and recycled your phrasing “…such so-called ‘psychics’ are full of it…”
I wrote to WN: “She’s full of shit” is an insult rather than an argument, let’s not mask it as an opinion.”
And you defended your position by stating that it’s an opinion — “Yes, you’re correct that its an insult. Its still an opinion though albeit not a very nice one.”
To which I didn’t reply anymore because I accepted your position.
Your comment to Allison “Do you think its ok to make a broad, sweeping, insulting statement like that?” — Is the opposite of acceptance.
You berate her about her opinion of a group of people she sees as being pathetic, violent, corrosive, pointless, and racist. Whilst you are doing the same but only towards one person. But you can’t see that. For you, your negative opinion is okay, but for Allison it’s not okay. This is what can’t land, Leigh.
It’s not about discussing whether Annabelle is a person worth being called being full of shit, or the group of people deserving of being called pathetic, racist and so on, it’s about you seeing the mote in another’s eye but not the beam in one’s own.
“To my mind there are few people more pathetic, violent, corrosive, pointless, and racist than those on the Left.”
Allison,
Do you think its ok to make a broad, sweeping, insulting statement like that?
What if I said all Trump supporters are Magats?
Allison,
I feel the need to clarify my comment to you. You had a cogent response and then you felt the need to throw a dig in as well.
Did you see AV’s comment to AA? She’s not insulting anyone. She’s not calling anyone a name. She’s just stating her opinion in a well thought out manner.
This is one of the things that bothers me. Its bad enough that the country is so divided, yet so many people also choose to insult the other side to get there point across. It doesn’t usually work.
Hello everyone:
The top 1% own 75% of all corporate wealth. Go to 5% or 10% it gets higher. EVERYTHING you buy goes to them and they hoard it. De- monetize society. 7O %… 7O% of the land in the USA is owned by the top 10%. This was a trend in 3rd world countries and it’s now worldwide. Now the top 1% also pays 40% of the taxes. But you can see the trend. The cost of living up. The anger. The middle class under attack as we pay 69% of the taxes but own 20% maybe of corporate wealth and 30% of the land…. For now. Throughout history politicians have been bought and sold. Do you think Trump was a pro- lifer? He gave those who supported him a ticket in exchange for regulations ( or deregulation of oil and gas), appointments… what qualifications did Jared have to go to the Middle East and of course DOGE … space contracts and deregulation of rickets to Elon. And before you think I am attacking Trump, the democrats are no better or worse. But they want us to look down not up. I agree immigration is an issue as it can burden medical systems and educational systems and those who refuse to assimiliate create problems. But immigrants built the USA. My ancestors came from Friesland and England. Where did yours come from? And I happen to LOVE the Mexican culture filled with hard working, family oriented, Christians who contribute. Of course not the cartels who run fentanyl into our country. Etc….but I have “ right wing” family and friends” and left wing family and friends. I come from a different perspective. I don’t see a democracy anywhere. My son said name one politician you believed did right by the American people: cared about all the people of America. I replied: FDR. I also believe the pendulum swings in real estate, stocks and politics. The new generation may surprise us in their choices. In an ideal world those elected either side would represent the people and not those who donated millions to seat him or her. That’s democracy. I don’t see it worldwide.
Hi Contagious,
I’m a direct descendant of an immigrant so I understand the importance of immigration. If Trump’s strict guidelines were in place when my father came here, I might not be here right now.
Allison is allowed her opinion though and she did have a cogent argument. That is until she decided to call people on the left corrosive, pathetic and racist.
For the record, I’m in the middle. My daughter however, is on the left. My daughter, an empath, is not a racist. Maybe a little misguided, but not a racist.
I just wanted to point out that I didn’t like Allison’s derogatory comments.
“I just wanted to point out that I didn’t like Allison’s derogatory comments.”
Derogatory like calling a random person you never met before “being full of shit”? That type of derogatory?
Your recent argument was that derogatory comments, albeit not nice, are fine because they’re part of your opinion, Leigh. (https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-20/#comment-460545)
So why is it not okay if Allison, as in your opinion, uses derogatory terms, even though they’re not btw. compared to yours; terminology like pathetic, violent, corrosive, pointless, and racist are not derogatory terms. Phrases like: “she is full of shit” are.
But let’s say if those terms are derogatory for you and Allison sees fit to state them within her opinion? How come you apply double standards? It makes you look like a hypocrite.
Jordy,
Are you comparing being called full of shit to being called a racist?
Anyway, I called one person full of shit. Allison made a broad sweeping statement about an entire group of people.
For the record, I said something derogatory and you pointed it out. Now, i’m doing the same thing with Allison. If its ok for you to point out my derogatory comments, why isn’t it ok for me to do it too?
It’s pretty normal for this blog where people who are in the public eye (even for having a YT page) or who participate in interviews with HG become targets for conjecture about their status on the empath to narcissist spectrum. Narcissists lie as easily as breathing so speculating or intuiting someone is lying is understandable.
In contrast, the terms in Allison’s post (I’m pretty sure even Allison would agree they were offensive) were potentially offensive to readers here. Leigh felt offended because her daughter leans left. She saw Allison’s ideas as largely correct and so the terms at the bottom hurt her on her daughter’s behalf and aroused her protectiveness of her daughter.
Leigh’s motivation is understandable without you having to explain it, AA, but the motivation still doesn’t change the double standard approach in regard to berating Allison on offensive commenting whilst participating in it oneself.
Btw Annaamel, you’re a manipulative hypocrite who on the one hand states that it’s normal for this blog to put people under conjecture about their status on the empath to narcissist spectrum. But when I do this based on obvious evidence over a long period of time in regards to an obvious narcissist, who confirms it again and again, you tell me that I can’t behave like this and that I’m simple minded and immune to your way of thinking. Oh yes, I’m immune to your manipulative BS, hypocrite.
Leigh and annaamel,
It’s obvious that Jordyguin is on some kind of mission. This mission involves her/him adopting a rigid and determined ‘fight’ response for some reason and the fight response is not abating.
I don’t like to see either of you treated with ongoing and escalating rudeness. I would like you to know that I object to Jordyguin’s rude and provoking comments.
As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have anything further to say to Jordyguin. There doesn’t appear to be any point in continuing this conversation, in my view. After this comment, I’m not going to take part in any more conversations with her/him like this one.
For what it’s worth, I suggest that you both consider doing the same.
Stretching out your tendril to Leigh, WN? Leigh and Allison are a different topic which has nothing to do with you.
What is this f**kin glitch -her/him- ? Have I ever asked you to use a pronoun? No. I’m not a hermaphrodite, you clown.
Hi Leigh,
Fwiw, if Allison had said people on the left were full of shit I would have seen it as much less derogatory toward them than “pathetic, violent, corrosive, pointless, and racist”. Much less. Both are negative opinions but the list is comprised of much more specific and pointed put-downs. Full of shit is simply a base-line opinion of those one disagrees with, far less toxic.
Thank you, AV. Finally, a voice of reason.
Hi Bubbles: I was just in Scandinavia and England. I saw it. And it’s a BIG topic on the news and among people.
But income inequality is also worldwide
Dear Contagious,
Many thanks for your confirmation.
I believe it’s a “globalisation” takeover over for the wealthy narcissistic powers.
It ain’t gonna end well if we don’t take back our countries!
Hello Ladies:
I was just thinking. Why do people help to rehabilitate others in prison? Why have therapy? If there is no hope with a narc or psychopath, why bother? Maybe help can improve them? A good cause despite no cure. But if not a narc or psychopath then possibly you want to help a troubled soul, someone who ends up in jail and add a rehabilitated person to society. Worthy cause. Someone who struggles because of trauma. And even if a narc or psychopath, maybe help as it is part of a cause. Take racial discrimination, you might want to correct the injustice even if the victim is not worthy. Or a criminal defense lawyer, a seasoned one, will fight to defend the constitution and rights whether the person is innocent or not. All are good causes right for a fight? But in this blog, I am genuinely curious? Is it to educate? What is the good cause being promoted? Is it to protect HG’s legacy, keep it preserved? I mean each one of you are intelligent, good writers and good people, empaths. And disagreement is GREAT or pointing out something not considered. GREAT. We are here to learn and to support each other as a community. I mean this with the greatest respect too. I truly respect you. Truly. But I ask you … fellow blog members, my supporters …who I admire and support… could we take our swords in another direction? If I am not getting the important cause you are championing then by all means… who am I? But each one of you has an innate perspective that could brighten many topics here. Perhaps… perhaps… maybe take the battle to the world and let’s stand back to back together strong? Maybe some take the right flank, the left flank or center… but let’s stand together as One. There are great causes out there and I want to hear your unique brilliant voices on them, your unique beautiful differing perspectives, your analysis, your lives, your truths, your quests, and JOIN you.
Thanks …. I know you get what I am saying. The time is now. Swords up empaths!
“…then by all means… who am I?”
You are truly a gorgeous heart, dear.
“Is it to protect HG’s legacy, keep it preserved?”
Well, the thing is that there are more and more narcissists beginning to appear who start their own channels and begin to educate and spread false information. Their awareness is not as evolved as HGs and the confusion they begin to spread can lead to fatal consequences for those who are following their advice. So, yes, HG’s legacy definitely must be preserved and protected. HG’s effort must be appreciated and respected. There will be no tolerance for put downs of his effort and work.
It’s the man in the arena who counts, the man who does the job, who helps, who educates and the people who are supporting his effort… not the critics.
Hi Contagious,
For me the cause I stood up for was important. I found the comment upsetting and offensive.
But I’ll refrain now because my words fell on deaf ears anyway.
Hi Contagious,
“The time is now. Swords up empaths!”
You have said, ‘swords up empaths’ a number of times and keep on saying it as though empaths on the blog are deliberately keeping their ‘swords’ under wraps or that they don’t have swords at all.
There are swords held up, Contagious, but it appears that they’re not the right kinds of sword. Maybe they’re not the right colour; or they’re not held in the right hand; or at the right angle. Or maybe it’s the way they’re glinting in the sun…
“If there is no hope with a narc or psychopath, why bother? Maybe help can improve them? A good cause despite no cure. But if not a narc or psychopath then possibly you want to help a troubled soul, someone who ends up in jail and add a rehabilitated person to society. Worthy cause.”
1. What does HG himself repeatedly say about hope?
2. It has been established (a number of times) on the blog that the ‘cake is baked’ when it comes to narcissists and psychopaths. This is the case from an early age. After this age, their personalities are set.
3. I agree that helping a troubled soul in jail is a worthy cause. Helping anyone in trouble or suffering is a worthy cause.
4. Adding a rehabilitated person back into the same society that created them originally? Is that what you mean? That sounds counterproductive to me.
Hello again Contagious,
Following on from my comment to you about ‘swords’, I’d like to add to it in a way that is less argumentative.
I will put my sword away and write my thoughts more constructively. As the saying goes, the pen is mightier than the sword. In doing this, please know that I’m not being contradictory. To some extent, I still believe the things I wrote in my previous comment. However …
I also ruminate about such things in more detail. I think of both sides of the story and consider the underlying reasons. If something can be improved, I believe it is better to improve it than just leave it as is.
Firstly, despite what HG says, I believe there is almost always hope. While there is life, there is hope. This goes for everyone, including narcissists and psychopaths. The human brain is malleable and adaptive. In addition, there are breakthroughs and progress in human knowledge every day and there is no limit to human inventiveness.
Helping those in trouble or those who are suffering is indeed a worthy cause.
While it is a worthy cause, there are also risks involved in being helpful and in attempting to provide altruistic programs of ‘help’.
In my country, there are noble programs established that aim to provide all people with things like healthcare, social benefits, family assistance, and social housing. I am very grateful for these programs and I think they improve everyone’s wellbeing overall.
While these programs are based on aims that are noble, they are also rife with entitlement, fraud, and exploitation. I think they actually attract those who seek to gain in a selfish way and those who want an ‘easy’ life. Since such programs and resources are available to everyone, those who see them as a bottomless pit think they can freely help themselves.
And guess which personalities are most entitled, fraudulent, exploitative and selfish? That would be narcissists and psychopaths as well as the narcissistic in society.
Such programs can also instil a victim mentality. Instead of a person thinking that they need to develop their independence and consider that the world doesn’t owe them, they continue to think they are entitled to so-called ‘free’ services. The services aren’t actually ‘free’. They are paid for through the tax system.
One example:
The indigenous peoples in my country have been marginalised for many generations. In that process, there are those of them who keep demanding that the government ‘does more’. There are also many who do not think they need to be responsible citizens and raise their children in a responsible way. Instead, they rely on social programs. Whatever social programs there are, they think the programs are inadequate because it seems that ‘everyone else’ needs to do more to help them.
Meanwhile, there are immigrants purposefully brought in to the country. The hope is that these immigrants will boost the economy and the country’s overall productivity. They often have menial jobs and are treated in a racist way. Although, there are immigrants who also take advantage of the social benefits available to them.
In providing this example, my overall point is to say that noble programs that aim to help those who are troubled or suffering are open to exploitation and can also instil a victim mentality.
Therefore, to answer your question in a more friendly and respectful way, Contagious, ‘helping’ someone who is in trouble or suffering is a worthy cause, however, it needs to be done mindfully and in a structured way. There needs to be balance and also effective regulation.
In a world in which narcissism is increasing overall, this is a difficult proposition that is not simple or easy to achieve.
Hello HG, is there any material covering the different types of weaponized empath and what they mean? Thanks
There is such material but it is only available with regard to the outcome when someone undertakes the WED. There is no publication which details all of the different outcomes.
Hi H.G. Tudor! I’m doing well. I’m holding up well. But thank God I don’t feel the impact of the narcissist at work so much anymore. I watched the subtitled YouTube video about The Contagion Empath… I’m stunned. So this is what I’ve written about myself many times. That’s why it’s so hard for me to exist and it’s associated with so much suffering from interactions with a narcissist and people in general. At the same time, I see in myself the traits of a super empath. Damn. As a doctor, I can assume that Complex PTSD explains the nature of these empaths… but at the same time, not everyone who has experienced complex trauma, this is about The Contagion Empath.
H.G. Tudor Would you like to get a medical education, mainly psychiatric?
I am pleased to note my work has provided you with enlightenment. The fields of psychiatry and psychology are indeed interesting, nevertheless I do not have the time available to dedicate to studying them formally. I have other more pressing commitments.
I understand. Thank you for your answer!
Hi HG and Josephina, With regards to empaths.. is it that cptsd plays a part in the creation of empaths? And are there ever exceptions to that? 🤔
Thank you for the question, Jade. I had no idea…
HG categorized me as Standard Empath with 23% Contagion and 23% Superempathy.
I spent my first 2 years in life in the midst of upheavals, terrorist attacks and murders in a country that was abruptly pushed into decolonization. We had to flee for our lives.
My mom had PTSD for years so maybe that could explain my school of empathy.
Thanks for your answer or explanation, Mr Tudor.
Hello Jade:
CPTSD is directly linked to narcissists or Cluster B in general. Many and HG also ( and I agree) see a genetic link. HG has not provided an opinion where empaths come from BUT when he speaks of his sister a Co-D she seemed formed by a narcissist. Her way of coping that helped form her personality. It would stand to reason normals and empaths have genetic links. There are scientific studies about the brains of contagions and studies on mirroring. HGs latest on JK linked the creativity and spirituality of Harry Potter to her contagion. Where does imagination, creativity, spirituality come from? Interesting thought. For me, there are many empaths, many deeply religious, kind, compassionate, humble people in my family ( I always looked up to them and marveled like they were saints) packed filled with artists in my family. I am contagion. How could I not be influenced by them? But why so many? Generation after generation. I think genes too. Waiting on HG on this one. And for me, it started very young. My beliefs were fostered absolutely by my family but I had the most interest. I was considered a “ gifted child” but my mother didn’t want me in the program and school always came easy but I was always into the arts. I did some sports but I was not an athlete. Don’t know if that’s a factor or not… HG will tell us the origins someday but this is what I have picked up. My guess it’s the same for empaths: nurture and nature.
Hello Jade–
I remember hearing Mr. Tudor say amongst his numerous videos that not all empaths develop cPTSD. I may be misremembering, and I hope that Mr. Tudor will correct me if I am misquoting him.
Hi Jade. I can share my professional observations (as a psychiatrist)
As for complex PTSD, everything is very interesting here. A person who has experienced trauma can become both an empath and a narcissist. You can read more about this in the book by Pete Walker “COMPLEX PTSD: FROM SURVIVING TOTHRIVING A guide and map for recovering from childhood trauma” and Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre “Healing developmental trauma”.
In general, psychiatry accepts the biopsychosocial model of disease development. That is, only genetic vulnerability is inherited, and then numerous other factors must work. But empathy is not a disease. Although…
The classification described by H.G. Tudor can be considered within the framework of complex PTSD. For example, a super empath. A person who has experienced complex trauma has both empathic traits and a narcissistic part. Therefore, if we take a person who has empathy “over the edge”, then we can assume that this is not without reason…
I really hope that I wrote it clearly (I am translating the text with a translator).
P.S. Due to “translation difficulties”, I already seem to have made a mistake in the classification. When I wrote “met another Ultra”, I meant a narcissist who is aware that he is a narcissist and who consciously weaves intrigues and plots. H.G. Tudor, please correct me. A narcissist who has all the characteristics that I listed above is an Elite, not an Ultra?
Thanks all. I thought I’d responded to your comment already, @contagious apologies. I like hearing how other empaths were growing up.
Thanks @Dani!
Hi Josephina – I’ve read Pete walkers book but not the others, I’ll check those out. I think I get what you’re saying, thank you.
Hi Josephina,
I’m responding to your question about self aware narcs. Those narcs are called Greater Narcissists. Mr. Tudor is the Ultra and the only one. An Elite narcissist is a narcissist cadre and a combination of a two other cadres, the somatic and cerebral narcissist. There’s a total of 4 cadres. Victim is the fourth cadre.
This link might help. It’s a list of the most common terminology that Mr. Tudor uses.
https://narcsite.com/acronyms/
Hi Leigh,
I’m sorry I had to reply here, in response to a comment you made to me farther down the chat here.
In reference to my narc husband’s comment about him being the a#%## at work and that he wouldn’t put up with his own behaviors like I put up with them. ….
He was definitely manipulating me because he was saying he was aware of his behaviors being toxic and trying to convince me he’s not a narc.
We used to listen to HG together, so he knows I listen to HG and he knows enough about HG’s work to try to make an argument about being a narc.
You’re right, he is aware of his behaviors and the fact his behaviors don’t trouble him, that he sees no point in changing himself, points out to the truth of what he is. I can see it now. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
I’m glad I was able to help you.
Mr. Tudor must be a threat to MLS’ control. Do you mention Mr. Tudor to him? I would gather every time you mention Mr. Tudor, MLS will need to nullify the threat to his control.
Hi Leigh,
I don’t bring up HG because MLS knows I still listen to HG and he brings him up, almost every time I’m in my room listening to HG….even with earphones on, he knows. …
We sometimes discuss the topic HG is covering, like the P Diddy trail. Sometimes MLS ask what HG is saying about a subject going on in the news. I do discuss it with him. He’s not being rude about it. I hope I’m not doing the wrong thing by discussing the current topics HG covers, not all of them, just the ones MLS is asking about….
MLS and I used to listen to HG together, before I knew MLS was a MLS…xx
Should I not discuss the subjects with MLS?
I’ve shared videos of HG’s with friends who are having relationship troubles or issues with their parents. I find the videos helpful for them.xx
Hi Leigh,
I forgot to mention that MLS used to make rude comments to me, while I was listening to HG’s videos. Sometimes I’d make a negative comment back to him, regarding his remark. I learned to ignore and shut the door.
MLS comments now without much rudeness because he knows I’ll ignore him more often than not now. I wanted to explain the difference from before and the way things are currently. Xx
I’m able to get up and leave, when or if he gets rude. I don’t argue with him as much now. I don’t give him the back talk. It’s more like, ok time to go in my room and shut the door. Xx
Hello HG,
I’m curious if you’ve watched Love is Blind season 1. If you have, could you tell me what school Damian falls into? I see him as a greater, because he built Giannina up with that intense golden “treatment” the day before the wedding – only to kick her off the pedestal at the altar and watch her crumble. But since greaters are so rare I’m curious to know your assessment – and are midrange and lessers capable of that much deliberateness?
Cheers, Anne
Hello Anne, I have not watched that programme. It is important to bear in mind that behaviour you a victim may regard as deliberate is actually the instinctive response of the narcissist. It is common (and to some degree understandable) that victims believe the narcissists behaviours are deliberate and calculated. It is when emotional thinking is reduced and my work is applied that many victims then realise that the narcissist was not calculated in their actions.
Mr. Tudor,
1. How often do midrange narcs “own” their bad behavior, thinking they are slinky and aware but aren’t?
Something like…”I gave you that 2 month long absent silent treatment ten years ago because you seemed depressed. I think you’re too awesome to feel that way. I needed to punish you. I couldn’t handle you feeling that way…I have been depressed…on many antidepressant meds…”
2. How does the self assessment of believed awareness from a narcissist impact the victim?
3. Do you find those victims who have been told their abuser is aware have a more difficult time with grasping that they were/are dealing with a unaware predator?
4. Which sub-school(s) of narc are most likely to believe they’re aware when they’re not?
It was your firm and repeated statements about the majority lacking awareness that struck me most immediately about your work. It was like you came and whispered a secret in my ear. It immediately resonated with me. That helped me make sense of the people I have dealt with who frequently engage in problematic behaviors.
Thank you for your time. Much appreciated.
1. Mid Range narcissists never genuinely own their behaviour.
2. Do you mean, where a victim thinks the narcissist is truly aware of their behaviours, how does that impact on the victim?
3. No.
4. Lower Mid Range and MMR A.
I am pleased that resonated with you. It is fundamental to the understanding of narcissism that people realise most narcissists do not know what they truly are.
Thank you so much!
Regarding: 2. Do you mean, where a victim thinks the narcissist is truly aware of their behaviours, how does that impact on the victim?
I think many, if not most, victims believe that, based on what you’ve taught. I was trying to ask more something like…
A victim tells the narcissist what a terrible liar he is. This happens repeatedly, be telling half truths and nowhere near the truth is his style. His habitual response, “That’s not true. I’m very manipulative. You would never notice my Machiavellian tendencies. I’m much smarter than my partners and friends.” (usually said with the smirk–not a whiny tone). This happens repeatedly. However, the rest of the time, the narcissist spends masquerading as an empath, a bastion of honesty and apparent compassion.
Is it more difficult for the victim to accept the lack of awareness when their narcissist has repeatedly told them how he is the Niccolo of Machiavellianism?
Thank you so much for your time. I greatly appreciate all you do.
Yes, because it invariably clashes with what was first experienced during the golden period and their hope and expectation of the nature of the relationship.
Thank you, sir. Much appreciation.
This conversation has brought a question to my mind, and I’m still working on wording. It might be one of my big questions…I am grateful for your ability to stimulate my mind the way you do. Thank you for your time.
Hi HG and Dani,
I have this exact issue with MLS narc and he tells me he’s aware of his behaviors and calls himself the a%#hole at work and that he wouldn’t put up with his behaviors like I do.
It confuses me because I think he’s aware ,but how can he be when he’s a Middle Lesser? It messes with my mind. HG, what’s going on with him(MLSNarc)? Maybe I need to redo his NDC?? I’m not sure. Please explain? Thank you very much! Xx
Hi Rebecca,
If I may, narcs can be aware of their behaviors. They just don’t know its the narcissism that’s driving the behaviors. They may know they’re an asshole but they don’t care how it affects others and feel the behavior is justified.
Mr. Tudor has said that everything a narc says or does in relation to another person is a manipulation. If you look at it that way, then you can ask yourself, how was he manipulating me? When MLS tells you that he’s an asshole at work and he wouldn’t tolerate what you tolerate, what was the manipulation? You know your husband best but knowing that he’s a narcissist, I see that as a backhanded compliment. I almost think he was trying to provoke you by implying that he’s stronger than you because he wouldn’t tolerate what you tolerate. I might be stretching a bit but it was definitely said to manipulate you somehow.
Thank you HG
Speaking of Niccolo and greater…. I am keenly watching the Musk and Trump blow out. Trump looking sad but brining up Elon’s black eye, and saying Elon didn’t get the electric car bill he wanted. Reporters discussing Elons drug use and Trump giving his support ( not denying it.) Trump saying Elon saw the bill. Elon saying Trump is a liar, he never saw the bill, it’s not about Tesla, no one saw the bill, it passed in the middle of the night, and going so far as to post pictures of Trump with Epstein and that is the reason the Epstein report was not released… ( Journalist Julie Brown will love this).
The reporters keep discussing “ what is this fight about? The bill? Tesla? Overall disagreements that occurred when Elon was at DOGE ie china … but I hear your voice:
Control!
Oh! And that Trump would have lost the election without him!
Now that I don’t believe is true but Musk does….
Control
HG:
Today: Musk asking for an impeachment and threatening to build his own political party and Trump saying he essentially got rid of Musk as “ wearing thin”, questioning his legal status to be in the country and to take his rockets and go home.
Control.
Question: Will either or both act on their threats?
Hello HG:
But ever wonder why they can switch in a second when the police arrive? I mean they are aware to some level that their actions in some cases could get them arrested.
It’s why the legal standard for the defense of insanity never wins for narcissists and psychopaths. There was even the case of the Batman shooter in Colorado who had psychosis. They said he was aware enough to buy guns, he was aware enough to plot, Holmes was found by the jury to understand the consequences of his actions, that he knew right from wrong.
So I might not get it… 1. when you use the term “ not deliberate” or “instinctive”. Do you mean they immediately react without thinking? But if Johnny law arrives they then immediately react to that situation? And if so, they must have some level in instances of say physical violence that it is “ wrong.” 2. Correct? 3. But do they agree with it being wrong or do they silently feel justified… ie the other person caused it. Not my fault. 4. So the act itself they are well aware and know that it is wrong or breaks the law but they feel justified in using it?
Is the Character Trait Acquisition a very strong indicator of a Narc person?
This woman is copying and stealing my opinions and ideas. Sometimes she replicate my opinions and ideas with me. Sometimes in front of me and other people she says phrases that were mine.
At the same time she continuosly talk about how much she love my cultural interests. And how much she would desire come back in time and do my same studies. Sometimes she does this with a very seductive voice + non verbal language. This seems to me a “fake” in some way.
This certainly demonstrates two narcissistic indicators by way of mirroring and potential character trait acquisition.
Hi HG, could you say a bit about a narcissist parent who manages not to create (or be seen to create) obvious scapegoats, GC etc in their kids?
Hello Jade, I am not sure what you are wanting me to address other than to confirm that some narcissists may not have obvious scapegoats or a golden child.
Sorry, yes I guess that’s what I was after HG. Nearly everything I’ve read seems to talk about SGs and GCs with narcissist parent(s) but that hadn’t been my experience despite all the other behaviours being there. following on from that, are any types of narcissists more likely to not have GCs and SGs etc? I wonder if greaters and mid rangers are better at hiding certain behaviours…?
It follows that Greater Narcissists and Mid Range Narcissist are more effective at presenting a facade to the outside world so that the abuse of their children is less likely to be questioned and/or they abuse in less obvious ways (although not always).
Thanks for the validation HG – that makes sense. It’s my first time commenting here and I also wanted to thank you also for your work, it resonated like nothing else did when learning about narcissism and continues to help enormously.
I am pleased my work has helped you. Do feel free to comment further.
H.G. Tudor it’s actually unfair to publish this comment from Jordyguin
«Somebody explain to me please why Josephina is getting all the Ultras?
Josephina, you sound like a narc junky, girl. Don’t wait until all your hair falls out, you might also need to obtain The Addiction Triple Package».
And at the same time not give me the opportunity to write him something in response. He addressed me as “girl”. Oh, he will never know that perhaps it is a woman of a respectable age who is writing this )))
“Girl!”
What a thing.
«Somebody explain to me please why Josephina is getting all the Ultras?»
Sorry, I didn’t mean to, he or rather THEY came themselves))))) Maybe you’ll still be lucky. Or will someone be lucky enough to meet you?
Hey, girl!
I’d rather let you figure out why I wrote “Why is Josephina getting all the Ultras?”
You’ll be fine, girl))))
Eh, I hope so. Thank you.
Of course you will, Josephina! This is a very informative source you’ve found. HG knows.
If you want to leave a reply under a comment but there is no Reply button — this is one of the weird things wordpress does sometimes. In order to reply to the comment you want to reply: scroll up to the first Reply button you see (it may be a comment of another) and reply there. Your comment will appear under the comment you wanted to leave your reply.
I can’t figure it out
Oh okay, did you read my reply to you here?
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-21/#comment-461015
I just saw your reply. Thank you!. Damn, I’m completely confused here. Sometimes I see comments from other participants addressed to me (I see them later than I should).
(I always seem to skip everything, except what H.G. Tudor writes, and in general I try to spend less time here because it is very addictive. After all, I can spend hours reading everything H.G. Tudor writes and admire and fear, and on the contrary, gain hope.). In general, that is why I often (if not very often) skip the comments of other participants. Plus the difficulties of translation.
I’m talking about this: “I’d rather let you figure out why I wrote “Why is Josephina getting all the Ultras?””
But I sincerely try to understand, yes, why this attraction exists. Analyzing my biography now, I think that it began in kindergarten. Or even earlier, from the moment of my birth and my father (he is clearly narcissistic)
I need to take a consultation from H.G. Tudor no matter what. Even if it is in writing.
Is anyone else distracted by this new “legs” profile pic…?
Hello, H.G. Tudor! It’s me again) Difficult times have come. But for some reason I’m not afraid. Maybe because You exist. And the weather outside is also pleasing )))
Question
Can we say that for a narcissist the saying “any fuel is better than none” is true? Let me clarify. Let’s assume that the narcissist fails to make the source he was targeting the main one. Will the narcissist be able to agree to use this source as a secondary or even tertiary one? Example: a colleague at work, the narcissist tries to make the relationship with this person even outside of work (let’s say a romantic relationship). But what if this person decides to quit work and end all relations with the narcissist. If the narcissist senses this, can he not cross the line with this person and use him as a secondary/tertiary source, but only at work? Or will he constantly try to make him the primary source?
And another question: only the main source needs to “worry”? 🙂
It is fair to say that any fuel is better than no fuel, yes. Of course the extent of this will vary dependent on how well fuelled the narcissist is to begin with.
Thanks for the answer!