Questioning Me
Do feel free to ask me anything you like. I am here for you to dip into my mind and for you to benefit from learning how I view the world. No question is off limits and if you want to establish a dialogue with me, then so much the better. You will be helping me so I can show the treatment team that I am interacting with people in this setting. You can ask me why I do certain things, what am I thinking, what my favourite food is, whatever you like. This is your chance to extract as much knowledge and information from me as you possibly can. If you want to just make a statement, go ahead. Fill your boots. I don’t know you so I won’t fly into a rage (this does happen when people I know question me but that is because they have an agenda – you don’t because we don’t know one another). I look forward to hearing from you.
13,008 thoughts on “Questioning Me”
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Hi HG, 👋
If negative fuel is more potent that positive fuel, I’m wondering why narcissists wouldn’t go round punching people in the face all day long? Well lessers do, maybe lol 😅 but I guess mid rangers and greaters have evolved to”play the long game” and not have to get the immediate gratification of punching soneone in the face, only to cut off their fuel supply as others avoid them in future… 🤔
I’ve mentioned I believe my mum is a MMR. a lot of her manipulations are benign and her facade good to very good (it seems less good now I know but she fools most people including her psychiatrist brother). I guess she hides in plain sight and gets fairly continuous fuel from her fairly substantial fuel matrix even if most of it is positive fuel? So that’s the payoff… Is that correct?
Doing that would adversely affect control.
Thanks HG, so the prime aims are thought of collectively… Makes sense.
Hi Jade,
If I remember correctly, I believe part of the appeal of the negative fuel, and its potency for the narcissist, is due to the contrast between it and the positive fuel procured during the Golden period with the IPPS. Also, HG has stated that it is more difficult to get negative fuel from an empath, compared to acquiring positive fuel – therefore, the negative fuel makes the narc feel even more powerful.
Thanks WC. this makes a lot of sense! Crikey. They do see the world differently, don’t they? So many pieces of my life slot into place…! Funnily enough I get the impression my nmum only wants adoration not negative fuel but I guess it depends on the narcissist too… 🤔
Hi Jade,
Narcs that are provocative, like Donald Trump, will welcome the negativity when they’ve caused. They’ll relish in it. The negative fuel gives them power. Some mid rangers, like TOW, don’t welcome the negative comments or conflict. There’s challenge fuel too. That’s when you’ve still given them an emotional reaction but you’ve also challenged them. That might be what happens with your mother. She sees your comment as a challenge and needs to nullify that challenge some how.
Mr. Tudor did a video on challenge fuel.
https://youtu.be/ANazTo6ccWk?si=fyeOC9D_Yh0ylj4v
He’s also done videos on how Trump, Bill & Hillary deal with challenge fuel. They’re 3 very different narcissists and it was interesting how they react to it.
Good distinction Leigh.. thank you for the clarification. Lessers and mid rangers are quite different and that makes sense.. thank you for the link. I feel things slotting together more and more 🙏
This was really good to learn about Leigh. I also watched Hilary’s challenge fuel video and it makes sense .. she doesn’t like it, but will take your fuel, in comparison to trump who loves it all. Il watch bill next.
The thing I’m wondering now after learning more about narcissists and challenge fuel is what do supers get out of arguing and fighting with others? 🤔
Hi Jade,
I was thinking about this a little bit more and I don’t know if its a lesser vs mid range thing or a female vs male thing. Workplace narc is a mid rangers and could be very provocative. After he said something provocative and got a reaction, he would drink in the fuel. I could literally see the change in his face and body while he was getting fueled. It was crazy.
I think there’s a lot of misinformation about supers on the blog right now. AV said in comment to you to get your info straight from Mr. Tudor. I agree with AV. That’s why when I tell you something, I try to point you to an article or video that confirms what I’ve said. Have you looked at the empathy videos yet? They can be very helpful.
If you’re reading some of my comments to other bloggers, you might’ve seen that I can be a bit argumentative. What drives my argumentativeness is my pride and justice traits. But you should also know, I’m not a super empath. Although I do have some super, its not majority. A super empath will want to draw a line and dig their heels in. One with a high trait of justice and argumentativeness might dig deeper.
JK Rowling, Dolly Parton, Ricky Gervais & Christian Bale are all good examples of super empaths. If you listen to Mr. Tudor’s analysis of them, it might help you to distinguish the difference between a super empath and a narcissist.
I’m sharing Mr. Tudor’s empath playlist here because there’s a lot of fantastic videos in here. I think you’ll find the videos on the heyoka empath and dark empath very helpful.
Thank you as always Leigh. I do appreciate your approach to learning and I agree, it is compatible with AVs comment about going direct to the horses (HGs) mouth!
Very interesting that you could see the workplace (fuckface.. that rhymes! 🎵 drinking in the fuel! I feel certain I must have seen that too in my time but can’t think of any situations right now. I’ll keep an eye out for this! There’s been “smirks” when “shit stirring has happened which actually might be related thinking about it… 👀
I have watched the empath videos and will rewatch, thank you. 🙏 I have the super nova ones next in the queue. Lots is sinking in.
For me, the way you approach arguments is interesting. I think I knew you weren’t a “super empath”. I admire the way you “say your bit” .. it seems like you balance this with a good reminder usually too about evidence which I always appreciate as well. I am saying my bit here, more too when needed which feels like healthy progression on one hand though if I’m honest it does tire me. I’m not sure what the best way forward is on that. 🤷♀️ The little ET generated from dealing with HG is obviously more than compensated for with his knowledge and wisdom but the way discussions here go, on the whole doesn’t feel good for my personality being an overthink-y person that soaks up too much. 😅
I’ve watched JK and Ricky (Lurve Ricky! Have you seen his show “afterlife”? Sooo good). I’ll check out Christian and Dolly, thank you again and for the empath playlist. 🙏🙏🙏
Ps I watched the video about “haughtiness” and derailment of conversations yesterday too .. so good. I’ve had a few of both of these flavours of people to deal with so this resonated…
Hi again Leigh 👋
Yes I’ve watched the heyoka and dark empath videos already .. good job on dispelling the myths, HG. 👌
I’ve also been finding it interesting in the “ask HG” series where HG talks about some mid rangers saying they’re narcs to others (thinking they’re greaters). HG says they don’t actually know what they are, as they’re mid rangers (the narcissists who would be king). I know HG will be right of course lol but for me it signals some awareness of their manipulations.. even if slightly off base 🤔 I got the impression maybe it’s the upper mid rangers that do this. I find it hard to imagine the mid mid rangers and below saying it…
You are welcome.
Hi Jade,
I think when a mid ranger says they’re a narcissist, its really a blame shift. But before I respond to this comment I want to reread the narcissist who would be king and then I’ll get back to you. But my gut tells me its a blame shift because he really believes he’s a good person and that its his narcissism that’s causing the toxic behaviors. If that makes sense, lol.
Thank you Leigh. I watched that video too (the n that would be king). I trust HGs judgement that they don’t know and as you said it could be a blame shift. I think sometimes their subconscious “less” out understandably.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned, I went to a retreat with my mum once before “i knew” and at the end of the day we had to reflect on the day and what we’d learnt about ourself. It was the first time it hit me that my mum can’t really reflect. It was also telling what she said. She talked about needing to slow down and how “she’s like a bird going from tree to tree all the time” .. always busy. I have no doubt she was describing the ongoing hunt for fuel without realising it. So interesting. I actually felt a lot of compassion and even later when I actually realised what it probably meant… It’s funny what can slip out (for all of us too I guess).
Hi Jade,
That’s interesting Jade! Your mom may have been describing the ongoing hunt for fuel. But she may just view it as moving from thing to thing to thing with no time to be still. Not realizing that its her thirst for fuel that’s driving her. My ex best friend used to tell me that she liked how it felt when she made people cry. That was the fuel making her feel powerful. Then my reaction would give her even more fuel.
They may know what’s happening but they don’t know what’s driving it.
Yep, Leigh. You nailed it. 👌
Wow, that’s quite the admission from your ex best friend. I was thinking recently how people would often wisely say “they’re just mean to try and feel better about themselves” actually it kind of describes the process…
That’s so true, Jade! That’s it in a nutshell. They’re just mean to make themselves feel better.
Hi Leigh,
I hope you’ve had / are having a good holiday. I’ve been getting my teeth into more of HGs work. I wanted to come back and ask you about this again
“I think when a mid ranger says they’re a narcissist, its really a blame shift.”
I’m wondering why they’d do this? I thought maybe pity plays or “blaming” being a narcissist for their bad behaviour? 🤔 It also seems like a transference of power and could make them vulnerable too though…
Re the Christine Niagara interview, HG (in case my question gets buried on YT)…
1. could (some) of the mid rangers who think they’re greaters, that you mentioned here with Christine, be able to see with evidence laid out that they are a mid range? I’m guessing no, but wonder as there seems to be some more awareness than other mid rangers… They can see they are manipulative so think they’re greaters.. would it be a leap to get them there.. I guess the thought of being a mid rangers compared to greater would be a threat to their control though..? 🤔
1. No.
Thank you HG. 🙏
I also wanted to ask if you are aware of any work by psychiatrist/psychologists about the awareness levels of narcissists? It seems such a big part of the understanding that needs to be spread.
I see repeated misunderstandings with regard to the subject of awareness.
I agree HG. I can see that the unawares are unaware from your work but wonder how you came to that conclusion I initally?
I can see why people presume smirking for example, is proof of a narcs awareness (though your video makes sense on the reason for this). I’m wondering how you got clear that they weren’t actually aware? I hope that makes sense.
Hello HG:
It is interesting why some narcs develop awareness such as greaters and ultras and others do not. There is plenty of evidence of lack of awareness. I experienced with my ex. But he is aware of “ mental illness”. He is aware that he is “ un-stable in relationships.” And I have no idea despite several forced mental cares if he got a diagnosis…. I imagine awareness is simply a byproduct of the gene.
1. Correct? Or…is awareness stemming from an environmental factor such as identifying with a parent like you or relation and seeing similarities?
Narcs don’t normally have the capacity to self reflect. So it’s interesting that ultras and greaters do. So given you have said this, my guess is your psychopathy is not directly related to your awareness of narcissism…
3. Or does it contribute to your awareness?
Thank you HG!
The awareness is a factor of the Greater and the Ultra. I would suggest that it is more likely to be a consequence of the gene.
Hey Two!
So I have something very weird to share and welcome anyone’s input and it might be about “awareness”. I was married and with a LMR narc for 11 years. Towards the end, I could no longer live with his abuse ( not physical) and was worried with my son getting out of the marines and living here, my son would seek to protect me and therefore I would harm my son. My ex would yell, name call etc… and not work. So I tried to manage (it aka narcissism) with him in London and me in SoCal for a couple of years until we ended. It didn’t work. I would fly there for two months and he would visit here. I was much happier and thought it was working! He was not happy and wanted to here full time as “ not enough sex, being married …and missing Betty.” It was understandable as a strange way to be married. Betty was a two pound chihuahua that we ended up keeping when my daughter brought home the stray ( homeless) on David Bowie death. Both David and Betty had one brown eye and one blue. Thus her name Betty Bowie. Look her up online, my ex has dozens of pages created for her in homage…. Anyway while separated over two years…. daily he would say to me “ I miss Betty, I must return.” Everyday for two years. Finally I said “ Betty can live with you.” I didn’t want to live with him anymore. Truth is I can only have two dogs per HOA rules so we agreed that if we kept her, my ex would say her home was in England so he registered her as “ his dog. “ I didn’t want her to leave but we did agree that she was “ his dog.” Anyway: he didn’t want her there! When I finally offered to let her there. He refused!!! A million excuses. My best friend felt he was lying and that he just wanted to return here to enjoy my life style and, it was not about Betty. Well …. In the end….he lost his mind after a fight with his mum, got sectioned, and we divorced last year. We don’t talk. Old Betty died from a heart attack last year. She was at least 14. We don’t know her age as a stray. But she was old. I have my ex blocked but today on X, apple FM came up and my ex was interviewed and playing a song about our dog Betty. He is an unemployed musician – hasn’t worked in two years. On benefits. I watched it. ( I know! I should not have. ) He looks good but ill- very dark circles and he said that he “ was not mentally well. “ same old tug at my heart. I felt bad for him. Sad. He said that he was “Blue”. Anyway he has done an entire album on our dog Betty. “ Betty you are the one for me, you are the one for me. 🎶🎶🎶” That’s his top song. He has an entire blog devoted to her with about twenty paintings, various poems and a story book about Betty. He has written several songs and plays him at all of his gigs ( open mike nights). And he spoke of her as “ the love of his life really.” Ok … so…. I find it so weird. He left Betty with me. He didn’t want her in the UK and I offered to fly her over on my lap and pay. Yet, two years apparently he sings about her, devotes a blog to her, paints over 20 pictures of her, poems, stories, devotes an album to her and does a radio show about her… says she was the love of his life. A 14 year old 2 pound chihuahua that’s been dead two years. Plus he has had two prior dogs, and a cat prior to marrying me. So what about them? Ok. So maybe he is bat shit crazy and loved the dog beyond human reason. I love my dogs and I miss my deceased dogs including Betty but it is not my life focus…. On the radio show… He said that her love was “ un-conditional until she died” and that Betty provided him with “ nurture, support and kindness” that he will “ never forget.” Plus Betty “ made him laugh and was a character.”
Ok … is it possible that my ex is not only unaware that he is a narc but also that I was the love of his life? That he is confusing that with what we had with the dog?
I wonder if “ unawareness” is expansionary.. ?
Or maybe he really just “ loved” Betty beyond what most normal people or even narcs do. … I don’t get it. Totally lost.
Weird one. Thoughts?
Ok…me… I feel that same jolt. That worry about him. That tug to love him. To help. When I first met him in Cali he was employed, great job, helped me start my firm. But he had issues, lost 9 jobs and then lost his mind ( danger to me) and isn’t working and it appears on benefits for two years. I know the UK helps him, he has a few friends and his mum is alive. I know he is Not my responsibility. But… truth is that he evokes those same feelings. Like a mother wanting her baby to be ok. Yes, I know he is a grown man who was abusive but I know his history, met his awful mum and … well I will always love and pity him. I will always worry. But I remain no contact. I also really don’t understand his Betty obsession. It makes no sense. He did love Betty but if he loved her so much… why not take her, get a job to feed and shelter her. That’s true love. Songs, poetry, interviews do not compare. Hey? Sounds like how he treated me….
What level of fuel do you get from a dead two pound chihuhua two years after she died?
Betty was very loved. A sweetie but?????
Sorry Christine Bishara, not Boswell
Hi again HG, I’m listening to your Christine Bosdale interviews atm (excellent 👌). Do narcissists made through being a GC different in any way to ones made through trauma?
Yes, but not exclusively.
Thank you HG.
Hi Jade,
Believe it or not, I was the golden child for both my parents. I can’t say for sure, but I think my vanity and pride stems from being the golden child. I’m high in both. I was put on a pedestal a lot. My mother would tell me I was beautiful and smart all the time while she was neglecting me. A great example of how she created cognitive dissonance.
That’s really interesting Leigh .. what contradictory messages! I can understand from what you’re saying how that would play out. My mum said I was always very “compliant” even when little, compared to other siblings.. which she loved of course, but less so now as I’ve become an uncompliant appliance! It never makes sense until you learn about narcissism, does it?
Hi HG,
Regarding Jade’s question, “Do narcissists made through being a GC different in any way to ones made through trauma?”, and you’re reply, “Yes, but not exclusively.”. Is there a good place to learn more about the differences in development? Will more about it be in any of your upcoming new material?
This is part of material I am currently working on.
Looking forward to reading this info, HG xx
Goody gumdrops! I’m really looking forward to this new material you’re working on, Mr. Tudor!
I haven’t heard “goody gumdrops” for a while Leigh! 😄
Thank you for the reply HG. I am very much looking forward to your new material!
Evening HG, I hope you’re well. Were the good doctors aware themselves about unaware and aware narcissists before meeting you? And do you know if one or both read or still access your blog /YTs? 🙏
They were firmly of the view that narcissists were unaware and were uncertain with regard to the extent of awareness.
I do not know.
Thank you HG. 🙏
Hello, HG. I have a question: if you ask a “narcissist,” “Aren’t You cold?” in a situation where he is dressed inappropriately for the weather (for example, it is winter, and he is indoors wearing a summer T-shirt instead of a sweater, even though it is cold) — this will not be perceived as a sign of care (you are inquiring about his condition), but will be perceived as criticism (“she is questioning my ability to dress according to the season”), correct? Or not necessarily?
It will depend on whether you are painted black or white.
Thanks for the reply HG
Hi HG
Just wondering if David Harbor might come under your Tudorscope? The Stranger Things actor seems the ideal candidate after his divorce from Lilly Allen and her scathing album West End Girl (which is rather good btw) that documents the downfall of their “open” marriage.
Also from the Stranger Things on-set bullying accusations of Millie Bobby Brown.
I’m just wondering if Lilly’s own upbringing with her rabble-rouser Actor father, Keith Allen, could have got her into such a destructive relationship?
Still following all your observations and noticing so much more Narcissism in my world (and how to avoid them!) thanks to your invaluable information.
I don´t have any immediate plans to analyse him.
Hi BonnieLou, I think lily might be a narcissist, I’ll need to go back to HGs video but my impression was possibly narc on narc action with these two…
Hi HG, Is there more information on the blog about you being a twin?
It is scattered throughout the blog and my books.
I’ll dig deeper, thanks HG.
Jade
The Knowing HG series can help with the information you seek and much more.
Thank you NA 🙏
Hello Jade:
I have bought all his books and most in the knowledge vault but nothing beats a consult. My two cents xx
Thank you Contagious! 🙏 I hope to hear those velvety tones for myself one day! 🤞😊
Dear Mr Tudor,
I don’t go on FB, (except here), however, I decided to do a little “test” when a photo of TOW and TO came up at the volunteer kitchen with her hair down around food.
I made my “first” ever comment regarding OHS kitchen rules requiring hair tied back, hairnets etc. Simple and factual, nothing personal. I didn’t add anything else.
I gained a lot of likes, however, one lady in particular was on the attack and wouldn’t let go. She stalked my profile, called out my name (pseudo) mentioned my profile was blocked and that I only had x many friends. She called me a narcissist, along with this emoji 😈
I never provoked her. She was concocting things out of thin air and saying I made this big story up which was totally false.
I made one little constructive and factual comment, why was it so misconstrued?
Mr Tudor, why did she single me out and personally attack me for no reason?
I’m having a blank right now and it’s quite taken me by surprise as I never expected this.
Many thanks
Ps Her attacking comment has since been “filtered” out.
There could be many different explanations.
1. She is a narcissist and you threatened her control.
2. She is narcissistic or normal and I vested in TOW and has no EE for you, thus you are a legitimate target for your criticism of TOW.
3. She is an empathetic individual who has a parasocial relationship with TOW and seeks to defend her with regard to what she regards as unfair attacks.
4. She has low cognitive function and cannot distinguish between legitimate criticism and ad hominem attacks.
5. She has consumed alcohol and this has impaired her judgement.
I could go on.
Dear Mr Tudor,
I’m very grateful for your detailed response. What surprised me the most was that these few individuals were grey haired women (probably in their late 60’s/70’s). I found that very interesting! Other commenters specifically attacking TOW (stating her hair should be tied back) didn’t receive any backlash.
Mine was simply acknowledging OHS requirements which they didn’t even read correctly.
I’d like to think either your no 4 or no 5 responses were more to blame haha
I read the comments out to Mr Bubbles and he was even more amused than I was, the fact I was called a “narcissist”! Moi !? haha
I immediately erased all my comments after that little experiment ……never again ! Haha
Human behaviour, is indeed, very interesting ! Social media has definitely brought out the “ugly” in people.
Thank you again Mr Tudor, I hope my little “experiment” helps to enlighten others.
Hi Jade,
Here’s a good place to start:
https://narcsite.com/2023/11/29/psychopath-ice-cold/#comments
If you dig thru the blog, you’ll find a lot of comments about Mr. Tudor’s twin sister.
Thank you Leigh 😊🙏
Hi Lee, thank you for all the links you send for Jade. I always check them too))) Thank you very much!
Jade, I really like your questions! Thanks to them, I always discover something new for myself.
How are you doing btw, Josephina? ❤️ A lot of what you’ve shared has resonated with me. I don’t seem to ruminate as much since I developed chronic pain (as my brain has to deal with that too 🥴) and consequently went on antidepressants but I’ve been there many times in terms of finding it hard to not think about certain things. I think it’s part of our make up, addiction but also the recovery process from eggs I’ve understood.
Jade,
Hello Jade, I don’t know if it is allowed to say this. But it seems that other participants have written about their parents. If HG permits.
I have undergone the Narc Detector, and my father has been identified as a narcissist.
I am processing this information now. Shock.
P.S.
Jade, how are you feeling now regarding the pain? Is it still bothering you?
Jade, there’s another interesting point I wanted to discuss with you. Do you know anything about the Cognitive Processing Therapy method?
In essence, it’s what happens to me when I consult with HG and go through the detectors.
In fact, there is even an advantage in the fact that I cannot take audio consultations. When I write texts, I am essentially doing written trauma processing, and HG gives me a different perspective, which allows me to reinterpret my experience. Like with my father, for example. I have never written to anyone in such detail. I also decided to go through the detector regarding my ex, and for the first time I put everything together. It turned out to be a lot… I’m still editing it.
What is written on paper (well, technically in a Word document) allows you to look at everything from the outside… And you think: was all of this really true?
But I think it is precisely this written processing that helps integrate the trauma into the “past,” rather than perceiving it as something happening here and now
Oh wow, Josephina. That’s something to process, isn’t it? I hope you’re ok. 🙏
I may do one on mine one day. I’m slightly leaning towards him not being one on balance. Take good care of yourself. Realising my mum was one was hard.
It is ongoing with the pain, but I’m ok thanks for asking. Some people go into remission but some end up in wheelchairs 🤷♀️ I’m able to do most things with a nap each day lol so I’m learning to accept it and I’m embracing my introvert and hermit side which is helping a lot! I think I spent too much of my life not honouring my nature so now it’s time. Ps I came across a term, psychic incubation in regards to Jung yesterday and thought of you btw.. about the power of withdrawal for healing. I’m finding this helpful ❤️ I was thinking about “real life” and the blog and realised I don’t really deal with narcs in real life now…
I have heard of that Josephina and have found it so useful. I’m glad you mentioned it here as I was going to suggest to Arya too. It’s very powerful and I’m glad you’ve found a way to use it well for yourself and with your HG consultations.
Ps I spent a few years after I learnt about narcissism writing it all out every morning.. no filter. Very liberating and cathartic 🙏
Hi Josephina,
Your cognitive processing therapy comment was very interesting. When I did the narc detector on my daughter, I felt very similar to you. Writing it all out helped me look at it from the outside in and could see it very clearly. Before I got my answer from Mr. Tudor, I already knew. It was all there in black and white.
Leigh, thank you very much for the link.
I’m also struggling as Jade to find any info on his twin, presumably, her name was Sloan. I’ve seen it somewhere on the blog, but not in the books, I’ve read so far.
Aw thanks Josephina 🙏
Leigh(Arya) i meant to say, I couldn’t find anything at that link? unless I’m missing another part of the story… 🤔
Hi Jade,
I my other comment before I saw this comment from Violetfire. This should help answer your question.
https://narcsite.com/2023/09/01/disengagement-the-victims-world/comment-page-1/#comment-466464
Thank you Leigh! 🙏✊
Hi Everyone,
Yes, the quickest & most efficient way to learn about Mr. Tudor’s twin is with the Knowing HG series.
Its something you have to purchase though and some might have financial restraints so I wanted to give an alternative.
I, myself, learned about Mr. Tudor’s twin sister from comments on the blog. But eventually I bought the series too, which gave me a fuller picture.
Thanks Leigh. 🙏
I know obviously that twins aren’t the same but my first thought on learning this was “oh there’s two of him out there”! Half scared, had delighted! 😄
Hi Leigh. Thanks for the links and tips. I have the Knowing HG series parts 1-7. And Alastor. Where does it mention a twin? Isn’t there supposed to be a part 8 and 9 somewhere? I’m also on the private blog now, as well which has more information. And I got the clue hunter files. I have only found specific mention of a twin in people’s comments and HG’s articles allude to losing someone and an icy lake. But I’ve never seen the name Sloane written anywhere other than in comments. It’s also possible, I’ve overlooked something and need to re-read or re-listen. Or something is in a book I don’t have. Thanks!
Violet, hey fellow clue hunter, welcome on board! Back in the day I went through the whole forum comment by comment. Can you imagine the level of obsession? Dr. O can relax, lol. It was a welcome escape; I loved digging for information and immersing myself in the whole process others went through.
The main digger who remained is Z, who keeps an overview of all the threads. I dare say she will pop up eventually and might be able to provide the collected info on Sloane from the forum. I have saved bits, but I would need to piece them together, which Z has probably already done.
Sloane was mesmerising, as you can imagine: HG’s twin, his mirror in some respects and he hers when they were little, connected in that unique way only twins can be. All further information cannot really be shared here, I don’t think. The permission to share some of it was given when the clue hunters figured out that HG had a twin sister. Maybe I can say this: she liked Star Wars, just like HG. I loved that. Angel🩵♕
When you think about it, everything that led to HG’s becoming had meaning. Emerging out of tragedy, yes. Transforming tragedy into meaning is what it is all about, at least for me.
Hi Jordy. Thanks for sharing more information about clue hunting. I’d like to see the collection Z made if she has it. I won’t say anything more on this forum if it’s spoilers. Is it a solved case?
Violet, hi!
“Is it a solved case?”
Nope. Half solved, or even less than half. But Z, FYC, Mercy, and others have such amazing lists there, and all the conspiracy theories are cool too. I think the peak was around 2020, where a lot of the material is.
Hi Jade,
Ugh! I don’t think I can tell you what you’re missing. I don’t think I’m allowed. But Ice Cold is about Mr. Tudor’s twin sister.
That’s ok Leigh, I wasn’t expecting you to, just looking and you’ll see I’ve found out more now and I understand the sensitivity of it. Thanks as always 🙏
Leigh
I apologize, it’s not Lee who is translating, but Leigh.
I also wanted to add something. I have been thinking about your wise words regarding the idea that if I am an empath, it is beneficial for me to stay here. You know what I have been thinking about?
When everything takes place in written form, it becomes a very clear demonstration of behavioral patterns. You analyze your own reactions and patterns when interacting here, as if from the outside. You observe certain patterns in participants — both empathic and narcissistic (this happens automatically). And this is very useful for me. But only in moderation!)
For example, I have once again confirmed that I have difficulties identifying a female narcissist — I can mistake her for a Super Empath. In real life, at first I often take such a woman for a normal person, or I simply feel no liking toward her, but I cannot understand why. In life I do recognize female narcissists, but still not as quickly as I recognize men.
Because I have much more experience interacting specifically with the male contingent. And I think: if I were to run the Narc Detector on every “suspect,” it would cost me a fortune))) But in principle, that is not necessary; however, I will definitely run a few people through that detector. The problem is also that, due to the sanctions, I end up paying significantly more, plus my card gets blocked periodically. Therefore, I honestly envy — in a good way — those who have no such restrictions and can easily purchase all the Knowledge Vault materials and communicate with HG through audio consultations. (But that is my own fault. My main foreign language was German — and even then without practice — I am not sure I speak it at a sufficient level. And my English… well, I am in the process of learning it. Because I primarily need it for professional reasons — a lot of medical literature simply isn’t translated into my native language, and it is important.)
P.S. I also caught myself thinking: it would be fun if, in addition to the open discussions for everyone, there were a closed chat where only identified empaths who have passed the Empath Detector could communicate. Although, as soon as I wrote this, I thought: well done, Josephina, now that sounds a bit like discrimination.
Hi Josephina,
Don’t worry about spelling my name wrong. Its not even my real name. I purloined it from my brother, lol!
Female narcs can be tricky to spot. Have you gone through Mr. Tudor’s analyses of female narcs? He’s done videos and written articles on quite a few. Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, Amber Heard, Jada Pinkett Smith, Katie Price & off course TOW. Another good video series is the Narcissist in Action series. There’s some female narcs in there too.
It’ll get easier to spot female narcs. I think sometimes our self doubt tricks us into believing that it can’t be true.
I think for the most part, this is a blog filled with empaths. Their may be some narcs running around too but its not too bad. I just try to limit my interactions until I feel safe. I like having narcs on the blog though. They help me hone my skills.
But most importantly, this site has taught me that it doesn’t matter if they’re a narc or not. If you see behaviors that you don’t like, its alright to limit your interactions. That’s true for the outside world as well.
Leigh
“I think for the most part, this is a blog filled with empaths. Their may be some narcs running around too but its not too bad. I just try to limit my interactions until I feel safe. I like having narcs on the blog though. They help me hone my skills.
But most importantly, this site has taught me that it doesn’t matter if they’re a narc or not. If you see behaviors that you don’t like, its alright to limit your interactions. That’s true for the outside world as well.”
Excellent words, they reflect my thoughts as well, Leigh.
Yes, it is very useful. Because I understand that I react here the same way I do in real life. Of course, I restrain myself more, I have learned a lot, some reactions are no longer the same… but some moments are still difficult. I probably won’t reveal them; I think it’s better to discuss this with H.G.
https://narcsite.com/2025/09/10/the-support-forum-fraud-18/ was very useful for me
Leigh
I’m replying in parts, sorry.
I read HG’s analysis of Taylor Swift. And I’m studying the one about Meghan Markle — the second one was unexpected for me.
Thanks for the tips here Leigh. Narcissists in action and the female series is very helpful. 👌
I wanted to add re spotting females Josephina, once I knew about my mum and also her being MMR a (she’s very good at the facade), I picked up another family member shortly after who presents very differently but is definitely a mid ranger too (possibly a MMR b or a). I felt a kind of muscle memory and my spidey senses went off as I’d experienced a version of this already. Both are overwhelming angels in “different outfits.” So I think we build on our knowledge and experiences as time goes by. I have no doubt about either of them now.
Ps both were very good at showing / talking about caring but no follow through too…
That’s a good article you mention Josephina. I’ve encountered a few mid rangers in these places.
Hi Josephina,
While its important to understand about the Support Forum Fraud, that’s not really how it is here. Most bloggers are truly supportive and not fraudulent. You’re very safe here. When Mr. Tudor wrote that article he meant outside of the blog.
Correct.
“Hi Josephina,
While its important to understand about the Support Forum Fraud, that’s not really how it is here. Most bloggers are truly supportive and not fraudulent. You’re very safe here. When Mr. Tudor wrote that article he meant outside of the blog”.
Hi, Leigh. Safe — no doubt about that.
But I do allow the thought (oh well, who am I kidding — many thoughts!)) that narcissists really do visit this site.
Hi, Jade.
“I wanted to add re spotting females Josephina, once I knew about my mum and also her being MMR a (she’s very good at the facade), I picked up another family member shortly after who presents very differently but is definitely a mid ranger too (possibly a MMR b or a). I felt a kind of muscle memory and my spidey senses went off as I’d experienced a version of this already. Both are overwhelming angels in “different outfits.” So I think we build on our knowledge and experiences as time goes by. I have no doubt about either of them now.”
Female narcissism is actually quite interesting. From all the stories of people who have lived with narcissistic mothers that I have heard in sessions, I’ve formed a certain impression.
Once I asked one of my patients—she couldn’t find the right word to describe one of her mother’s traits. ‘Is she harsh?’ I asked. ‘She is cruel,’ she replied.
Fortunately, they come to see me very, very rarely. More often they ‘torment’ male therapists, and then write long sheets of negative reviews about them.
Your experience with your mother is interesting, Jade. You know, I’ve realized that no matter how much we read, it is difficult to manage without the Narc Detector. As for determining whether someone is a narcissist—this I can identify in 100 out of 100 cases, I think. (It may sound overconfident, but I’ll allow myself that.)
Except for my father — and here I still cannot believe it. Honestly, one could study psychological defense mechanisms on me. A block.
But when it comes to schools and cadres… I still have a lot to learn. ))))
P.S. I often think that I was much happier without this knowledge. But after meeting my ex, that was it… there was no chance of not understanding.
Maybe I am comforting myself with this, but I constantly think that if he had not happened to me, everything would be much worse…
Hi Josephina,
There’s no doubt in my mind that narcissists visit this site as well. But I try not to worry about that too much because narcs are everywhere. They’re at our place of employment, in our classrooms, at our doctor’s office, our hair salon, the gym, etc.. I try not to worry to much if someone is a narc or not. If someone treats me poorly, that’s enough for me to limit my interactions.
I’ve said this in an earlier post but you might not have seen it. I’m very impressed by you. I believe you’re probably around the same age as my daughters. I saw in a post you mentioned your mom is 49. You’re so much more ahead of the game than I was at your age. You’ve got a huge head start and now that you’ve found Mr. Tudor, I really believe it will be harder for narcissists to fool you.
Learning about narcissism has turned my whole world upside down. I had the same thought of you when I first learned about. Was I happier not knowing. No, not at all. I wouldn’t trade if for the world. Mr. Tudor has opened my eyes. Now, I wonder, what else am I missing?
Leigh,
“I’ve said this in an earlier post but you might not have seen it. I’m very impressed by you. I believe you’re probably around the same age as my daughters. I saw in a post you mentioned your mom is 49. You’re so much more ahead of the game than I was at your age. You’ve got a huge head start and now that you’ve found Mr. Tudor, I really believe it will be harder for narcissists to fool you.
Learning about narcissism has turned my whole world upside down. I had the same thought of you when I first learned about. Was I happier not knowing. No, not at all. I wouldn’t trade if for the world. Mr. Tudor has opened my eyes. Now, I wonder, what else am I missing?”
Hi Leigh, thank you very much for such warm words, they mean a lot to me and are very valuable. I think that sometimes I miss many messages and then find them accidentally later. My mother is a bit older, she is 50+, and I am 33 years old. Perhaps your daughters are younger than me? Yes, I cannot express how glad I am that I found this site and how grateful I am to H.G. Tudor. Probably when I say that I would not want to know about narcissists, I am thinking more about the fact that I would not want to meet them. It has been a damaging experience for me. You are not broken, but you are significantly transformed.
In fact, I do not know how much more time is needed to return to the state that existed “before,” if that is even possible at all. To restore what was lost… I cannot do it, it does not get replenished, and this upsets me very much.
The understanding that they will be attracted to me for life and that I will notice them (the very fact of it), even without long-term interaction, saddens me. Yes, I have left many times, from different areas, including jobs, when I realized that a person was a narcissist, and each time it happens faster. Leaving is not a problem; not taking their bait is not a problem. But staying and learning how to interact with them safely for myself is a problem… for example, at work. Especially when you have reflected an условная “attack” once, a second time, and then you snapped and acted in an empath-style way)))) No, it is not fatal, but the actions from the other side intensify, and then you realize that there is no other option — you have to leave.
And I would not like to run away from them all over the world. I would not like to be so upset every time I meet them and to relive retraumatization from this contact again and again. I hope that H.G.’s works will help me with this — they are already helping a lot. But most of all I like the consultations (even though I have not had many, I also include the Narc Detectors here — an incredibly valuable analysis). I re-listen to the audio recordings, even if with a translator. It seems to me that H.G. is a good psychotherapist; he knows what to say in order to calm the psyche.
Hi Josephina,
My children are in their mid 20s, so a little bit younger than you. I have a narc daughter (confirmed by Mr. Tudor) and an empath daughter (also confirmed by Mr. Tudor). I’m in my mid 50s. If I had the knowledge then that I do now, it would’ve been totally different.
Its not easy knowing that we will always need to fight off narcissists. My empath daughter struggles with this too. She’s become a bit of hermit. She was ensnared and escaped. Then was ensnared again briefly. She’s been diving into Mr. Tudor’s work. She prefers YouTube though. But having this information will help in the long run. Eventually it won’t feel so daunting. Eventually you’ll spot the narcissist and learn to just stay away from them.
“In fact, I do not know how much more time is needed to return to the state that existed “before,” if that is even possible at all.” – No, its not possible. You have to much knowledge and information now. I think this is better state to be in anyway. Everything is just so much clearer now and I wouldn’t want to change that for anything.
Mr. Tudor does know how to calm the psyche. He’s very good at understanding people, that’s what makes him so effective.
“No, its not possible. You have to much knowledge and information now. I think this is better state to be in anyway.”
I agree Leigh and Josephina. I feel like it’s a loss of “innocence” that we experience with these situations but actually even if it doesn’t feel like it, it’s better in the long run.. we see the world “as it is” rather than how we want it to be. I think it’s like a psychic maturing.. we grow up and become emotional adults as well as physically and have more genuine empathy to offer this world rather than people pleasing or whatever adaptive behaviours we’ve learnt growing up. I’m very different from 5 years ago though only people that know he well would see it. It’s been painful and still is at times, but I wouldn’t go back.
Exactly, Jade! I’m not the same person I was when I came here either. We certainly have lost our innocence and its the best thing that ever happened to me!
💯✊🎯 Leigh.
I want to read more about individuation from Jung. I think it’s also what he was describing too.
“Hi Josephina,
My children are in their mid 20s, so a little bit younger than you. I have a narc daughter (confirmed by Mr. Tudor) and an empath daughter (also confirmed by Mr. Tudor). I’m in my mid 50s. If I had the knowledge then that I do now, it would’ve been totally different.”
Thank you for sharing this Leigh.
The topic of family is very sensitive, which is why I am always hesitant to ask people questions about it. It can be quite painful.
So far, I have completed two Detectors: my father and my ex partner — both were confirmed.
As for my father, I do not want to believe it, but there is simply no other way to explain his behavior, no matter how much I tried to fit it into some psychiatric diagnosis (and I really did try))).
As for my ex partner, I had no doubts about his narcissism as such, but I am very glad that I decided to go ahead and complete the Narc Detector for him and then discuss the result with HG. It allowed me to finally close that chapter.
I also suspect that my brother (he is one year younger than me) may be a narcissist, but I do not want — at least for now — to run a Detector on him.
I imagine your dad’s results were particularly hard, Josephina. It sounded like you were fairly sure about your ex? My dad’s an unknown to me. I think it could possibly go either way. I think that would hit hard for me. Hoping at least one parent wasn’t. I think taking your time to process the results makes sense. Hope you’re doing ok. ❤️
Hi Josephina,
Sorry I realised I missed your message about female narcs and the narcissist detector. I do agree. I think like you, I’m fairly confident generally with spotting narcissists generally (and I have now have a healthy low tolerance for any BS and just skedaddle now). As mentioned I’m not able to do the narc detector but I can absolutely see the wisdom of it. My dad’s an unknown and the more I think about it, the more confused I get.. so much ET, for sure.
The last line you wrote was interesting. A bit woo lol but I’ve had the feeling sometimes that my experiences with friends and romantically have been like breadcrumbs leading me back to the beginning .. my family.. does that resonate?
Ha! We could have sub forums and HG could allocate them! 😄 The mid ranger would be fun to observe lol. 🥴 I think I’m the other way around to you, I’m used to women narcissists more than men, Josephina. It’s interesting, isn’t it? I think women’s narcissistic behaviour can be harder to spot too.
Hi Jade,
I found your comment to be very interesting. I have always, long before I knew of narcissism, been able to pick out women I didn’t think were healthy, instead they came across as controlling and manipulative. And I would block them out of my life very quickly. Since learning about narcissism, I’m sure that many of those were narcs. For me, men is a whole nother story, unless they are very obvious like some lessers. I attribute this to my mom and dad, I liked him and so gave him more passes on his bad behavior. My mom didn’t get passes since before I can remember, literally. And, once I got out from under her thumb, mostly, no way was I going under someone else’s thumb in the name of friendship or being polite, no way.
I could have written what you said in your comment too AV. I somehow hit the jackpot with my husband but other relationships were mostly “iffy” in hindsight lol. I think it could also be a “twenties” thing too but the uncertainty was attractive in relationships (until it wasn’t anymore 😅). This mirrored both my parents. But yes, females .. I had mum, aunts, two close narc friends, bosses, colleagues..it felt like the universe was showing me the way back to the OG narc.. my mum! 😂 It sounds like a similar road we’ve travelled! It’s interesting as I think the toxic men narrative is confusing narcissism with gender and ime there’s LOTS of female narcs around…
Hi AV, Jade & Josephina,
Even with having a narc mom my experience with other women narcs is a bit different. I was so oblivious about narcissism before I found narcsite. I didn’t recognize the unhealthy and manipulative behaviors at all. My ex bestie is a narcissist and we had been friends for over 25 years. One time she wanted me to choose her over my daughter. I did draw a line at that point and told her no. After that we stopped talking for a bit. Unfortunately, I eventually let her back in. She gaslit me and made me believe that I misunderstood her. I was very easily fooled even when there was unhealthy behaviors right in front of my face. Not only was I fooled, I was also her top lieutenant. UGH! Thank goodness I found Mr. Tudor!
I think the self doubt and making excuses for their behavior is a good indicator now. I also think if you need to stroke someone’s ego in order to appease them, its also a good indicator. If I find myself in those situations now, I tend to back off and proceed with caution.
Well said Leigh. Yes, appeasing the ego is a good one. The neighbour I mentioned was like that..and whether they’re narcs or not, when it feels hot and cold or Russian roulette as to who youll get that day, I’m out of there…
Hi Leigh,
Great paragraph: “I think the self doubt and making excuses for their behavior is a good indicator now. I also think if you need to stroke someone’s ego in order to appease them, its also a good indicator. If I find myself in those situations now, I tend to back off and proceed with caution.”
Exactly, no blowing smoke up anyone’s undeserving ass 🙂 just to appease and keep the peace. NC is the order of the day if we find ourselves doing this. Or ANC if that’s what must be for a time.
Hi Jade:
I work in a man’s world and married a narc. So for me, it’s been men….in fact I can only think of two women I have met who might have been…..? So it’s interesting your comment….Either way HG is helpful. It’s 50/50:)
Exactly Contagious!
Ha ha AV!
“…no blowing smoke up anyone’s undeserving ass” – #facts
Hi Jade,
LOL! Russian roulette is a perfect way to describe! If I feel like I’m playing Russian roulette, I’m out!
Well, the credit for that one goes to Allison! I saw the conversation you and she were having elsewhere, her point was absolutely spot on.
Hello Josephina,
Where are you from? It’s weird that you are saying that you are paying more.
The way you talk about Super Empath, it’s clear you are not one of us.
I’m against such chat (I will be there, still not sure about you though).
First – there are some Empaths here, who didn’t take EDC for various reasons. Not fair to them.
Secondly, non-empaths provide different perspective and view. You may like it or not, but it’s like in real life. You are surrounded by various people. To shield from the whole world and live in an refined bubble is not a life. It’s a survival, just to pass another day. And remember, if HG Tudor is letting some comments through, it means he knows the effect. And he approves it.
Hi Josephina and Arya,
It’s a tricky balance sometimes I think… Around 2019 when I properly learnt about narcissism, I did wall myself off literally (not hard with the pandemic 😅) and emotionally. I couldn’t be around people very much and especially not narcissists (or not knowing if someone was a narcissist or not). It got me hard, I developed chronic pain abf fatigue and I was suspicious of everyone but also needed some time away I think to heal.
I realised I discovered HG around that time too and the narcissist categorisation rang true compared to all other blogs but I don’t think I was ready then to dive in fully or join the nlog like I did this year. I think it’s good to get used to real life where there’s everyone in the mix but I think there can also be wisdom in there being a time to heal or protect yourself that extra bit, when needed. I had an episode where I couldn’t sleep for a few nights because I suspected a neighbour of being a narcissist and was worried about seeing her. The anxiety and panic side of these things that some empaths experience are no joke.
Hello, dear Arya0901. Thank you very much for such an eloquent reply.
“The way you talk about Super Empath, it’s clear you are not one of us.”
Not one of your number — does that mean I am not an empath? Because you don’t classify yourself as a narcissist either, Arya0901 , am I understanding correctly?
So that means I am a narcissist?
A narcissist.
I am a narcissist… wow! 😀
It also turns out that the only narcissists here are HG and me. But HG sits very high, and he has no allegiance to other narcissists…
That’s sad.
Please, if there are any other narcissists here, let me know, brothers and sisters. I don’t want to feel like the astronaut in that Simple Plan song.
P.S.
Arya0901, I hope the light of your empathic heart is enough even for narcissists like me 😉🥰
Hi Arya,
“To shield from the whole world and live in an refined bubble is not a life. It’s a survival, just to pass another day.” – Sometimes that’s what’s needed though.
‘Not one of your number — does that mean I am not an empath?’
‘So that means I am a narcissist?
A narcissist.
I am a narcissist… wow! 😀’
I reckon she’ll respond herself but I think Arya was only suggesting you were not a Super (like she is). That leaves other schools of empath or normal or narcissistic as well.
My guess is you are both Supers.
Hello Josephina, или привет?
Sorry for delay in response.
“Not one of your number — does that mean I am not an empath? Because you don’t classify yourself as a narcissist either, Arya0901 , am I understanding correctly?
So that means I am a narcissist?
A narcissist.
I am a narcissist… wow! 😀”
Let me clarify. No, as AnnaameI pointed out, I meant that you are not Super Empath. I made this conclusion based on logic. Earlier on, you have mentioned that you took EDC test. When I asked what the results are, HG has intervened for unknown to me reason, cause I’ve seen many, like Rebecca, A Victor, myself, etc, were sharing their EDC results with no problems. Anyway, if I assume, you did take EDC, and you are an empath, the way you wrote about Super with some degree of contempt, it meant to me that you are not Super (yes, like me). Because I won’t refer to them like that, since I’m one of them.
Maybe you are some type of different Empath. Idk. Or maybe you took a test, and you are not an Empath. Or maybe you lied about taking it. I have no idea. So far, I don’t feel like you are an Empath. You are not vulnerable enough. Maybe you are normal.
Secondly, this text of yours, got me totally perplexed:
“The problem is also that, due to the sanctions, I end up paying significantly more, plus my card gets blocked periodically. Therefore, I honestly envy — in a good way — those who have no such restrictions and can easily purchase all the Knowledge Vault materials and communicate with HG through audio consultations. (But that is my own fault. My main foreign language was German — and even then without practice — I am not sure I speak it at a sufficient level”
As I know, the only countries with sanctions related to Swift payment system and with cold winter (you talked about sweater) are Russia, Iran and Belarus.
I have a colleague and a friend from Iran. Plus you mentioned in one of your posts, you don’t believe in God. You learned German. So I doubt you speak farsi and rejected Allah.
The only options left are Russia and Belarus. Also I saw your post about a dream with HG talking about Russian, I assume, you meant yourself. I don’t know if you noticed or not, but I’m from Russia.
So when I saw your text, it immediately flagged to me, that something is totally off.
That’s why I asked where are you from, but you didn’t respond. Russian couldn’t write what you wrote. Unless you live in an isolated house in the middle of nowhere not talking to anyone around you or simply not googling in Russian. That text of yours could have been written by someone who thinks that’s how it is for Russians. Especially, you are claiming that you are rotating in a social circle of doctors, not taxi drivers or smth. Come on. We live under sanctions for almost 4 years, it’s hard to believe you don’t know the scheme. In addition, you also claimed that you are paying more. Actually, Russians pay less, cause we don’t pay VAT tax at gumroad. If you meant exchange rate, also not true, unless the bank you use sucks. Change it.
My truth seeker trait (which is at 2nd place after Justice) demands answers)))
Please can you share, where are you from?
Arya0901
“Hello Josephina, или привет?”
Arya, darling, I truly appreciate that you — and another participant here — are showing such interest in where I come from, trying to figure it out…
You are meticulously scrutinizing my comments.
It’s genuinely very flattering.
Should I expect that one day, when I open the door of my apartment, a courier will be standing there with some kind of gift?))))
Just in case — I really love milk chocolate.
No flowers, please. Watching them wilt makes me sad.
You’ve done a good job trying to work out who I am and where I’m from; your messages to me are so eloquent, so detailed…
I think my answers here are simply unnecessary.
I would love to talk to you about myself…
but unfortunately I’m a bit limited in time.
How about March 2026, sometime on a Friday around 14:00?
I think I might be able to find a moment.
“So far, I don’t feel like you are an Empath. You are not vulnerable enough. Maybe you are normal”
Hello Arya.
When Josephina began posting the majority of her posts were about a narcissist she had become ensnared by. But she stopped and began focusing more on blog readers and the interactions she’d seen. She seemed shocked by a post Jordy made and it marked a turning point where she felt betrayed (again) by poor behaviour from people she had admiration for.
I suspect Josephina is a super because she shows a mix of strength and vulnerability. Vulnerability to charismatic individuals who turn out to be narcissists and strength to call out and reject misbehaviour in most circumstances.
“Because I won’t refer to them like that, since I’m one of them.”
It’s possible to be a majority super empath and feel frustrated or disappointed by some of their responses.
Hi Josephinina: It’s not just female narcs, I heard the tirade by ChristianBale and was like whoa…. But HG did a brilliant analysis and his charity for foster children is beyond amazing.
CB was an interesting one, Contagious! I was woah! too before listening to HGs analysis.
Hello, Contagious. I will definitely look into HG’s analysis, thank you.
Hi Contagious and Josephina,
“I heard the tirade by ChristianBale and was like whoa…. ”
I listened to the tirade as well. Christian Bale really let rip and it went on for a while.
As HG says repeatedly – you need to look at a range of behaviours over time and not just one emotional reaction.
I think anger comes from a part of the brain that is subconscious. It’s a reaction rather than a cognitive thought.
Since anger is more of a subconscious reaction, to calm or diffuse the anger, it takes more conscious awareness and thoughtful effort.
Sometimes, even with the best intentions and plans to stay calm and thoughtful, the ‘subconscious’ reaction is stronger and it takes over.
To the outside world, it ‘looks’ like narcissistic behaviour or a case of ‘self-sabotage.’
It’s not actually ‘self-sabotage.’
It’s more a case of the conscious brain saying, “I am going to be calm and thoughtful in this situation even if I don’t agree with some of the things people are doing or saying.”
At the same time, if the subconscious ’emotional’ brain had a voice, it would be saying, “This situation feels exactly like those many times when I was disrespected or manipulated or lied to and I was in danger. There was no-one there who intervened. I couldn’t rely on anyone. This situation feels the same. There is no-one who will intervene, so I’m going to have to do something to protect myself.”
And … in that moment, the emotional brain is much quicker and much more powerful. It steps in and takes over.
Even though the conscious ‘thinking’ brain has the good intention of staying calm and not reacting in an ‘angry’ way, in a split second, the emotional brain says, “I know how this feels and I know how this will play out. I’m stepping in.”
Our emotional brain is designed to protect us and it reacts very quickly. Meanwhile, the conscious thinking brain and its ‘self-reflection’ takes a back seat.
Going back to Christian Bale’s tirade, when you look at the situation and the context, he directed his tirade at the lighting person in the film crew because the lighting person walked across the set in the middle of a scene.
If you think about the context and ignore Christian’s tirade for a second, the lighting person did a really stupid thing. He walked in front of the camera to test the lighting – even though Christian was in character in the middle of the scene. Who in their right mind would do that? What a moron.
Because of Christian’s anger, it’s Christian who is remembered for his tirade. Meanwhile, everyone ignores the lighting ‘expert’ (ha!) who ruined the scene and wasted everyone’s time.
Hi Contagious,
I have found that sometimes those of us who are not known for “tirades”, as I don’t believe Christian Bale was, catch people off guard when we simply speak our minds. Especially if those people are narcissists who are not used to people doing so to them.
Normals speak their minds quite consistently in my thinking, and without defensiveness or feeling a need to make people understand why they feel as they do, they just say it. And then deal with objections if there are any and usually in a reasonable manner.
Empaths, at least my own experience, have not always been “allowed” to speak our minds, many of us having been actively taught to not speak our minds. So when we try to, or start to learn to, or just do, we can catch people by surprise, we can have an unexpectedly strong delivery and we can then be viewed as questionable, maybe even as unstable. It is only when something is close enough to my heart that I will speak up, even now. But hopefully people get more used to us doing it, and hopefully we improve on our delivery, thus making those who care about us able to understand. And those who don’t care about us will be exposed.
“I have once again confirmed that I have difficulties identifying a female narcissist — I can mistake her for a Super Empath”
Super Empaths can be mean, Josephine. They can even be bullies. It can definitely make them hard to distinguish from narcissists.
“The way you talk about Super Empath, it’s clear you are not one of us.”
On the contrary, Arya, I think she’s got the SE’s number.
I need to learn more about SEs. How does the bullying, meanness etc tie in with emotional empathy? I know we all have both traits tho…
Hello, annaamel
Thank you for your reply. I think I understand what you are talking about. In my student years, I had a friend with borderline personality disorder, she was very empathic — by the way, we took an emotional intelligence test, and she had high scores. But sometimes she behaved just like a “monster,” she would attack very aggressively and hurt me deeply. At times being around her was so hard that it was not even comparable to my ex-narcissist, with whom the dynamic was at least predictable. But unlike the narcissist, at some point she let me go herself. Unfortunately, back then I was not able to set personal boundaries properly.
But! There is an important difference here: I was her close person, her best friend; she allowed such behaviour only with people close to her. Here on the site, some participants attack others or support those attacks, and to me this seems like very questionable empathic behaviour. But of course, I may be mistaken. That is why I do not write any specifics. And even if I were certain about someone — what would be the point? That fuel.
Hi Jade,
Fwiw, I try to get my information straight from HG or his materials.
SE’s, like anyone else have the ability to “be mean and bully”, but remember, their empathy far outweighs their narcissistic side, this is why they’re SE’s. CoD’s have the ability to be mean and bully also, I’ve seen far more of this in my personal life than from any SE’s, as do other empaths and normals and narcissistic people. And of course narcs.
It can be brought out by the narc himself/herself, and directed only at the narc, or potentially at others given the right circumstances, same as any other type of empath.
One thing HG has reminded us of, empaths are not saints, we will not all see eye to eye about everything, nor will we all always get along. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that anyone is actually being mean or bullying. In my experience, including for myself at times, we can find that we react to a situation rather than respond to it. There is a difference, as I’m sure you know. For me, it’s usually been my reactions that have gotten me into trouble, more than my responses.
I recommend the empath articles and videos to start, if you haven’t already seen them.
Hi Josephina,
“Here on the site, some participants attack others or support those attacks, and to me this seems like very questionable empathic behaviour.” – I agree. It is very questionable empathic behavior.
‘Here on the site, some participants attack others or support those attacks, and to me this seems like very questionable empathic behaviour.’
Very true.
Supers can be high in narcissistic traits like argumentativeness, selfishness, defiance, anger, vanity, pride and resentment. These traits kick in and when they do, Supers can and will do damage.
Annaamel,
I think what concerns me is that your comments about Super Empaths seem to frame certain traits or behaviours as specific to that school. In reality, individuals from all schools can show similar patterns, especially when they are under stress or in difficult or abusive environments.
A person’s character, personality and circumstances often influence their behaviour more than their school alone. A person’s character and personality: their habits, their upbringing, the environment they were trained in, determine those reactions. You can have a Super Empath whose character means they would never go down the route you’re describing. But any school can have its empathy eroded, and it’s incorrect to claim that when such erosion is observed, it must mean the person is a Super Empath.
My concern is simply that this emphasis on Super Empaths might lead newer readers to limit their interpretations too quickly. Clarifying that these traits can appear across categories could help create a more balanced understanding.
In relation to this I was wondering if HG might do a video, when time permits on super empaths vs “narcissistic” people vs all non narcs with eroded empathy… It’s quite a minefield… So to gain some clarity.
Leigh and Josephina,
I agree. I’m finding it interesting to navigate things here like you guys.. not quite what I expected with lots of empaths in the mix lol 🥴 but its a learning experience too which is useful.
I’m on a different forum for a hobby and presumably there’s a more mixed and natural cross section of society there. So we’re not baring our souls or taking about traumatic things of course but still .. 99% of the time people are encouraging and respectful in comparison.
I’ve always been a bit of a hippy that wants harmony and everyone to get along especially when we’re here because we’re all dealing with stuff.. but I know that’s not real life. 🤷♀️ And that will annoy others of course too.
It’s good though to learn more especially about super empaths for me as I probably would have thought I was dealing with a narcissist or narcissistic person till I came here and just avoided them. And I’m learning to say my bit regardless.. that’s what I’ve always struggled with.. 🫣 Arya telling me I irritated her and me saying vice versa was quite liberating and I’m pleased we can talk like that actually.. I’m understanding myself and others better as a result. F’ing weird huh!? 🥴
Annaamel,
Super Empaths will be high in most or all of the narcissistic traits, but what is equally true is that they are far higher in empathic traits. Even if both are “maxed out”, so to speak, it is the equivalent of a flood light to a candle.
In my experience, CoD’s are much more likely to be defensive and hurtful to those around them outside of the narc, often in defense of the narc in fact.
Hi, annaamel
If I remember correctly, HG has a video where he says that a Super Empath will not go around shouting that they are a Super Empath. A Super is a rare bird overall.
My opinion: I think a Super Empath will not react to someone pointing out narcissistic patterns in them by trying to prove to others that they are an empath. Yes, narcissistic traits can intensify in the presence of narcissists, but it is unlikely that a Super would stoop to the level of attacking other people on the forum, drawing excessive attention to themselves by exploiting their personal story, placing themselves above others, deciding who belongs and who does not, what someone is allowed to write and what they are not, and so on and so forth.
And most importantly, they would not constantly refer to HG with: “Well, HG approved my comment, so it means no harm was done,” thereby shifting responsibility for their own actions onto someone else.
If I am mistaken and a Super Empath can behave like this, then that is unfortunate and does not align, in my view, with the general definition of an empath
“In reality, individuals from all schools can show similar patterns, especially when they are under stress or in difficult or abusive environments.”
No, they don’t. The reason only Supers go supernova is because they have responses and reactions other empaths don’t have. Other empaths fight back only once at the edge of a cliff. The reactions are substantially different when faced with difficult or problematic situations.
“A person’s character, personality and circumstances often influence their behaviour more than their school alone.”
Schools are assigned based on how people describe their reactions in particular circumstances. So schools reflect character and personality and a person’s character and personality influences their school. Supers don’t act narcissistically because they’re supers. They’re supers because they act narcissistically.
“it’s incorrect to claim that when such erosion is observed, it must mean the person is a Super Empath.”
What I claimed is that supers and narcissists can be hard to tell apart because both have noticeable narcissistic behaviours.
If I see any push back from someone I consider an empath I assume a little Super is in the mix. If I see a lot, I assume a lot of Super. I don’t automatically assume narcissist. (I don’t think narcissists are always on this blog). Some Supers never or rarely display obvious narcissistic traits on the blog. But if they didn’t have them and admit to them in the detector, they’d not have received that classification.
“My concern is simply that this emphasis on Super Empaths might lead newer readers to limit their interpretations too quickly.”
Currently, newer (and sometimes older) readers tend to see arrogant or unkind behaviour and assume narcissism. That’s also not ideal.
I encourage any readers to consider how close supers are in their reactions to narcissists and hold off judging someone as a narcissist just because they see narcissistic traits.
I still consider you a Super Empath and I consider you the most narcissistic contributor on the blog.
Good points about getting info from HG, AV and thank you for the information re supers. As mentioned I didn’t know about them till coming here so it’s interesting to learn more. 🙏
AV
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the SE, and also agree with your advice that it’s best to get pertinent information directly from HG and/or his materials. Information from other bloggers is best deemed opinion. It’s usually well meaning but can be wrong and misleading, especially when it comes to affixing labels.
There are some keen and knowledgable students here, but only one expert.
Thank you NA. I agree.
Something that I have picked up on when differentiating between a SE and a narcissist, is that there is a difference in the way the narcissistic traits are used.
If we take the blog as an example, the narcissist will focus and attach their negative commentary to the person. Not immediately perhaps, but early on in the debate.
The SE will focus and attach negative commentary to the content of the comment itself rather than the commenter. They will tend to hold this position even when provoked.
However,
If the SE is subject to repeated provocation over successive comments then you can almost see the gloves come off. The SE will then focus on the commenter just as the narcissist does.
To me this rule tends to hold true, though the tipping point to the gloves coming off will vary. Some SE’s have a sizeable gap in percentage between their empathic and narcissistic trait strength, others less so.
Other factors in play I think are trait dependent. It is far easier to spot anger and defiance lighting up in an SE who has those as their strongest narcissistic traits. Pair defiance with vanity though and you might see something that more closely resembles a cut off or a dismissal, where the SE doesn’t continue on purely and simply because those narcissistic traits are working in a different combination.
Unfortunately this can appear like withdrawal. The SE though will continue on with different conversations on the same or different threads. The narcissist withdraws from the blog in its entirety, will then pop up again weeks or months later only to target the same commenter as before whilst launching a charm offensive on new blog arrivals. This will be a cycle of behaviour.
As far as I can tell, SE’s rarely go full ‘gloves off’ with other empaths on the blog. They’ll stand their ground which might bring out a reactive response in the participating empath / empaths, but despite how that might feel to them, the SE isn’t actually ‘gloves off.’
I am sure there are exceptions, but this seems to work as a general rule of thumb.
AA,
I’m going to be blunt here but I’m also going to try and do it with kindness.
I think you don’t look to the evidence. I think you don’t look at certain behaviors logically. I think your emotional thinking cons you and makes excuses for unhealthy behaviors. I think you experience cognitive dissonance. Even if they’re abusive, your ET still makes you believe they’re good.
You’re going to make your own decision but I wanted to give to something to think about.
I think it might be helpful to listen to the video on cognitive dissonance. I’ve linked it below.
https://youtu.be/Aner25WFFTY?si=QCDh4ZsZ9qk7zOwm
Hi Jade,
“I’m understanding myself and others better as a result. F’ing weird huh!?” – This is one of things I love about this blog. We don’t just learn about narcissism. We learn about ourselves and others as well. Mr. Tudor had created a fantastic environment to learn.
“I still consider you a Super Empath and I consider you the most narcissistic contributor on the blog.”
Interesting, thank you. I have to smile at how Leigh and AV try to convince you that I’m a narc, lol. But let them, it’s fine. Despite me being rather mean to you on certain occasions, you can still see through that. I respect you and like you for that.
(Please don’t start talking to me about WN again. It’s not possible to convince me otherwise. The topic is closed. There will be no more responses from me re WN. December 8 was the last day.)
Did you know that, biochemically, online arguments really are stronger. Real conversations end, forum fights don’t. Your brain gets stuck in an open-loop threat state. This is called an amygdala loop, a state where the conflict can’t be completed, so the brain keeps you on high alert.
Why some Supers get stuck in conflict and others don’t is not even about strength of character but rather about neural architecture shaped in childhood. Supers who do not get stuck have a strong ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which can quickly quiet the amygdala, create an internal sense of closure, put a full stop on things and switch attention easily. Such a brain gets hit and after several minutes closes the tab, because their childhood wasn’t chronically threatening.
Supers who do get stuck have a weakened vmPFC, a hyperactive amygdala, a hippocampus overloaded with threat memories and a nervous system tuned to detect danger. This is always connected to dismissive or neglectful parents, unpredictability, lack of protection etc. Such a brain cannot put a full stop until it gets control, being right, acknowledgment or neutralization of the threat, because in childhood conflict resolution didn’t depend on them. This creates a neurological pattern of incompleteness…
It sounds like a narcissist, but it is also found in empaths. This is the differentiation of Supers I had in mind.
Jordy,
You’re putting words in my mouth. I’ve never once said you’re a narc. I just don’t think you’re an empath. There’s also narcissistic and normal.
TS
Re: comment @ 17:20
Some good observations
I would add that the SE with a strong Truthseeker trait may stay involved In the interaction longer than some deem necessary because they are offended that the seagull (flies in and shits all over) thinks they can spew patently untrue statements as fact and the SE has the patience and tenacity to repeatedly challenge the interloper on their claims without it affecting the SE negatively, (although it may upset others to see what they think is “fighting”). It is not. It is Truthseeking trait activated to expose the seagull for what they really are.
I agree with your reflections about differences between narcissists and Supers and how they respond to other participants, TS. Thankyou for posting it.
I have a query about this last section, though.
“As far as I can tell, SE’s rarely go full ‘gloves off’ with other empaths on the blog. They’ll stand their ground which might bring out a reactive response in the participating empath / empaths, but despite how that might feel to them, the SE isn’t actually ‘gloves off.’”
I’m assuming you mean gloves off as getting down to the business of fighting, reducing safety measures and intending to hurt and win. On the blog it’d be comments that are, by the standards of bystanders, unkind, demeaning, cruel or insulting.
You’ve been very supportive of Jordy. It leads me to assume you see her as an empath. Do you believe her comments to other readers have all been “gloves on” and simply standing her ground?
If you don’t, do you believe the recipients of her comments have not been empaths?
Hi Josi, I can’t quite let that stand)))) Prepare for landmines! Kidding🐯
“If I am mistaken and a Super Empath can behave like this, then that is unfortunate and does not align, in my view, with the general definition of an empath”
Your definition here seems to come from an idealisation of those higher empathic traits, Josi. Humans are complex structures across the spectrum…
“they would not constantly refer to HG with: ‘Well, HG approved my comment, so it means no harm was done,’ thereby shifting responsibility for their own actions onto someone else”
I only mentioned this once, and Ary also only mentioned it once, that if HG approves a comment, it made it through the border. There is no *constant* reference to this or any intention of shifting responsibility. The way you phrased it added a sense of accusation, especially by using the word “constant.” Breathing is constant; this was not. Perhaps you meant “repetitive,” but even that would not apply, because it was raised only once by each of us, and in different contexts.
The expectation that this forum should function as a haven where everyone arrives fully prepared, with all needs and expectations met in discussions that involve highly psychological and deeply complex topics, is unrealistic, and likely part of why clashes occur.
Also, you do not know what has happened in the past between readers, so you are seeing only fragments in the present and drawing conclusions from that. This naturally incorporates your own beliefs, hopes, and needs, which are well meant, but can overlook other aspects.
Annaamel, don’t overlook the fact that it is TS who repeatedly shifted my attention from conflict to meaningful conversations. The same cannot be said of those who engaged in prolonging the conflict and continue to do so by direct and indirect implications which are provocative and conflict seeking. TS and NA are thankfully the voices of reason who influence the dynamics and lead them toward more balanced outcomes. In certain instances, they even help end conflicts by offering clarifying observations in a manner that is easily accessible and never accusatory. That’s a valuable lesson we can take from them.
Hi Leigh
I like directness.
“I think your emotional thinking cons you and makes excuses for unhealthy behaviors. I think you experience cognitive dissonance. Even if they’re abusive, your ET still makes you believe they’re good.“
I recognise it appears this way. But pls don’t worry.
Josephina,
Are you able to translate the videos on YouTube at all? There’s a ton of videos on YouTube about Meghan Markle and other female narcs that would be helpful.
MM is a good one, though she’s very irritating Leigh and Josephina. HG often breaks down the very subtle ways she controls with body language, looks and subtle touches of harry for example. I wouldn’t have picked up on her narcissism years ago.
Yes, Leigh, I watch the videos on YouTube with a VPN.
Many informative videos about Meghan Markle
I convert the audio from the videos into text, and then I use a translator. 😳
Hi Jade & Josephina,
I agree that the videos on TOW can be annoying. They’re not my first choice. However, I think she’s a good example of seeing a MMR A narc at work. I think their are far more interesting narcs out there.
Josephina,
I’m glad you found a way to listen to Mr. Tudor’s videos because they’re so informative.
Jade,
You were talking about Mr. Tudor doing a video on super empath vs non empath. In his recent interview with John Cooper, I believe he said he was working on a book with regards to that.
Have you checked out the videos on specific schools and cadres if empaths? He has a video on super empaths.
I agree Leigh. She is a good example and there’s no end of things to dissect (her response to get dad being in hospital with an amputated foot 😬).
Yes, thanks Leigh, ibd re watched the super one and have more to watch
Hello to All! An early Christmas gift describing in detail Super empaths v Narcissists. Why they attract each other? Ie often charm and confidence. Why they look alike in battle? For me…. I don’t like ignited heated fury which is why I have always felt confused by a 7% super in me. It never fit unlike the rest. I would say it’s context that matters and my super might arise in my career. Whereas a majority Super is entirely different than me. I think the majority category captures the general being and minorities are based on a context or particular situation. Now will Santa HG bless us with another gift? The origins of empathy outside of DNA? Happy holidays to all my beloved members of this blog! I value you and wish you well! I also think HG should host a party where we could meet. HG could attend to like Oz behind the curtain! Good will and ove to ALL!
Its a great video, isn’t it Contagious? From what I’m learning and seeing, I agree, you don’t seem like a super generally but you sound like you kick major butt in your career so I think you’re right.. that’s where your super comes in, tho not in a heated way. ✊
Love the wizard of Oz analogy too (one of my favourite films!) though I think unlike the film, the real HG would be worth the wait.. 😄 it’s hard to imagine he’d be a small, unassuming bespectacled man behind the curtain lol.
I’ve appreciated all your support and kindness this year Contagious. You’re one of a kind! ❤️
Hi Josephina, I can across this video on the topic of narcissist or super empath? Thought you might find it useful too if able to access:
https://youtu.be/MlhHSrfqiQI?si=G1vxPEeKe8St3ON0
Thanks for the video Jade 🤗
Hi Josephina
Yes, I agree. The topic of family is a very sensitive subject. It can be incredibly painful. I had been questioning my daughter for about a year before I did the narc detector on her. You can do the detector on your brother when and if you’re ready.
Its interesting that you looked for a mental diagnosis for your father to explain his behaviors. My mother has been diagnosed with mood disorder and schizoaffective disorder. She’s on medication to treat it, but there’s still no empathy. I actually believe she’s been misdiagnosed by her doctors. She’s a narcissist. The mood swings are from lack of fuel and challenge fuel. Paranoia is also a trait of NPD.
Its one of the reasons I think its wonderful that you’re here. With your background, you can reach more people and you can help spread the truth about narcissism.
Hey Leigh: that’s where it’s crazy, co- morbidities. I am following the Nick Reiner case and there is such a thing as psychopathy and schizophrenia. BPD can have “ secondary” psychopathy in rage. I think the test is do they abuse you? Set boundaries. Go. I wonder why the Reiners let this violent drug user whether schizo or not stay with them, around their family and brought him to parties while fearful for their life? Why not use your money to separate him, protect you and those you love? I divorced my second husband when he had a psychotic break as he made death threats this time to me,his mother, copsand others. I didn’t believe he was capable but I was not going to take a chance ….especially to my love ones. HG said he was a middle lesser but his psychosis infers a co-morbidity.????
Hi Contagious,
Yes, there’s probably some comorbidities at play with my mother. Interestingly though, I was never afraid of her. She never threatened me with physical abuse. Her abuse was psychological and neglect.
I don’t know how much is accurate but I read that the Reiners weren’t afraid for their own lives. They were more afraid that Nick would do something to himself and that’s why they brought him to the party the night before they were killed.
In past interviews, Rob had said that he felt he knew best about his son. He said healthcare professionals told him that his son was manipulating him. He had expressed regret for listening to the healthcare professionals and ultimately decided he knew his son best. Its sad that he didn’t realize the extent of Nick’s sickness. It cost him and his wife’s life.
If I had to take a wild guess, I’d say Rob Reiner had some CoD in his makeup and didn’t want to see the truth about his son. That’s probably why Nick still lived on the property.
I see their now saying that Nick was on a new medication for schizophrenia. I’m assuming that towards an insanity plea. I hope not. I definitely see ASPD in Nick. I’m curious if he’s a psychopath or sociopath though. I’m looking forward to more info from Mr. Tudor on this.
Hi HG, in your YT video about wounding you said that spreading the word to others about the narcissist being a bad person would be wounding to them (I think I understand in terms of them not being there to receive negative fuel at the time). Is TOW wounded by the discussions about her by social and MSM in this regard? i know she dismisses everyone who doesn’t love her as “haters” but I’m imagining shes sustaining a fair bit of wounding too (though I understand that noone talking about her would be the most wounding…
HG, in the case of a narcissist who comes on the blog, are they likely to believe they understand every empath here like you understand us? If so, are they likely to be correct in their understanding of us? Would they then likely feel a need to explain us to ourselves? Do empaths also do this to other empaths? I appreciate any time you put into a response and also the further understanding, if you take the time.
1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Yes.
4. They do.
Thanks HG and AV. Good question.
that makes sense to me apart from 4. I know you’ll be correct HG, j just wondered how an empath would do this if they have emotional empathy? Unless eroded… 🤔
I am now wondering about that also Jade.
“if they have emotional empathy? Unless eroded”
Jade, there are already plenty of well-meaning but misguided empaths out there explaining empaths to other empaths and/or to narcissists, often unintentionally misleading people simply because they’re not informed by someone with HG’s level of expertise. Whilst I do understand the implications you and AV are making, I want to point out that assuming point 4 can only happen due to empathy erosion is a bit limiting. It can also happen when someone believes they’re acting as a saviour or a martyr, which can lead people astray despite good intentions.
There are other possibilities too; things like horoscope interpretations, tarot readings, or other belief systems empaths sometimes rely on to soothe the ego or make sense of the “being not enough” trauma narrative. These coping mechanisms are often liked by empaths, even if they don’t always lead to clarity.
Hi Jordyguin, I associate the behaviours you described more with mid rangers but I can see where you’re coming from and how what could happen too. As HG says, that’s where we have to look at behaviours and evidence over time…
Thank you for your reply HG.
AV, I love these questions and I love Mr. Tudor’s responses!
Jade, I think I fall under 4. Oopsie! I can a bit of a know it all sometimes.
Haha Leigh, that made me laugh.
On further consideration regarding #4, I see a number of situations where empaths would do so. But two things could, likely would, be different. One would be the delivery, though depending on a narc’s need at that moment, they might be able to feign empathy, and conversely, if an empath has high ET or is experiencing empathy erosion, they might be less kind than we might expect.
The other thing, more telling but often just as difficult to determine, is the motivator behind it. I have to remind myself often that the motivator behind what an empath does vs what a narcissist does is a large part of the reason we are different. For the narc it’s all about meeting the prime aims. If we can determine what prime aim is being sought, it if one is at all, we may have found an indicator. If this becomes a pattern observable over time, we can then make a determination. Or ask HG. Or, as I mostly do at this point, stop interaction with a person who’s in question, I do not need to be around people who are willing to mistreat me, narc or not.
Thank you for the giggle and your transparency. It made me think.
This is really useful AV and I agree.. Leigh’s comment made me chuckle and realise I can be and have been that way too!
I think your reminder of the prime aims and intention is really useful.. looking at evidence over time. I’m finding myself wanting to get clearer on this (supers , weirded empathy and narcissistic but not narcissist.. as they can all look identical for sure), as mentioned in another comment.
Before coming here I hadn’t realised about super empaths and it’s easy to get things confused for me anyway.. lol. I knew about erosion of empathy though and can identify that in myself at times.
Hi AV,
I’m glad I can make you giggle a little bit! I’m just here for your entertainment, lol!
I agree 100%! The differences you wrote here is what I try to look for as well. The delivery and motivator are definitely key indicators. If the motivator is control and you’ve threatened that control, they’ll try to nullify that threat. That will definitely affect the delivery as well.
You said, “Or, as I mostly do at this point, stop interaction with a person who’s in question, I do not need to be around people who are willing to mistreat me, narc or not.” – This is my aim too! Although sometime I still fail.
Haha Leigh, now I feel a little bad! I know you’re not here just for my entertainment, that you have worked very hard to learn and grasp that which we deal with. And you have been a strong support to me as you’ve done this also, I thank you for that!
No need to feel bad, AV. We’ve both worked hard and supported one another! I’ve appreciated your comments over the years.
Laughter is good for the soul and I was genuinely happy that I was able to make you giggle a little bit.
A Victor Excellent questions!
Thanks Josephina.
Haha! Me too Leigh.. I was thinking about this and also Jordyguins response to me and can see it more in myself too lol (more when younger but it’s still possible!) 🫣 no wonder it’s hard to see the wood fir the trees sometimes!!
Hello Jade: HG has said Super Empaths draw the line faster. They don’t linger as long with narcs. I don’t see them as bullies but less tolerant and able to check mate well. JK is an example of one. Dolly Parton is not. Both rich powerful influential brilliant women with different styles. Dolly wrote the song “ I will always love you” to get out of her contract. It worked . I know this as she said so inher show Threads I saw last week. Her style. I don’t relate to my 7% super but I can see it in my career. It would be great if HG did more on empaths since the vast majority on the blog are and we are moths to the flame of HG!
Thanks Contagious 🙏 I can see the 7% super in you from the things you’ve mentioned about your work.. formidable qualities! I’m learning more…
One of my daughter’s has a low percentage of super, like you do Contagious. She is in fact highest in CoD. But when that Super kicks in, when that line is drawn, that’s it, she’s solid and stable in it. And you’re right, well able to check mate as needed. I’m addition, I have also seen it, as you have in yourself, in her career, and with her, the schooling she had to do to get where she is. A phenomenal woman for sure. I do wish she would access more of HG’s materials, I think the CoD makes it particularly difficult for her to believe that people are narcs, especially the number of narcs she has in her life. That is where I see moths to a flame, she is a veritable beacon of empathy and as such has many pulling on her. And she just thinks they are humans with issues, like everyone else. Well, I guess she’s right in that. It’s the enormity of the issues at play that concerns me sometimes.
Great comment about super empaths AV. I also love that your daughter has you watching out for her. ✊ She’ll get there and she has a wise mom which is invaluable. ❤️
Thank you Jade, that is very kind.
It was very interesting to read about your daughter, A Victor, thank you for sharing.
The more I learn here about empathic participants and their stories, the more I want to meet them in real life.
My mind just explodes at the thought that someday HG will make this possible for us.
Even if only online.
First a nickname appears… then one, two, three… and suddenly a real person is already waving on video.
That would be very fun Josephina! I doubt that I would participate, unless it was a specifically, carefully planned event, but it would be fun if that could occur.
A Victor: from what you described, I don’t know your daughter but man I am glad she is walking this planet. Well done:) As to the “ super” in me, if that is what it is,I would rather be silly playing with the neighbors children and loving them and animals, but when an injustice arises, and the wheels of my brain say “this is the solution, I could help” or it’s my duty or job todo so, I grind away. It’s not fun. I do it through gritted teeth. I hate it sometimes. I don’t even sometimes like that part of me. It’s all logic but it’s driven by an emotional motive. Do I hate my opponents? Do I just hate what they have done? I am a very intense person. Don’t know but I take them on. Does JK feel this way? She endlessly fights People on her position . Her motive is love, and change? I might be wrong but she is more comfortable at the fighting than me. I am a reluctant warrior I guess. But once I decide to put the armor on. I am 100% in. That is how I describe Super minority. It’s not me just a part. I am good at boundaries. Very good. Ummm once I figure out what I am dealing with. My ex was borderline victim narc. HG found hidden lesser but he said almost victim. I am better now through HGs work probably need check is, and more study, but not all self confessed people of injustice have real cause to take on!!!
Hello HG! Thank you for publishing your Candace Part 10 video. Just having a further chuckle at some of the comments, not least suspected alcoholic @newtexan1:
1:
@newtexan1
15 hours ago
@hgtudor-theultra no you don’t. You love when people glorify your stupid comments and you shroud the information as if it is your own. You are given Everything. Old hag.
2:
@hgtudor-theultra here’s a question HG assh*le. Why are you proud to be an aging bitter Queen? Admit to you be taking money by Jews to destroy Christianity? Why are you SO awful a human being? Did your father not love you enough, and your mother babied you? No..British mothers are cold, aloof, and generally selfish depressed and horse faced.
newtexan, darlink! anyone who’s anyone here knows James Corden is the only Arse Hole.
Hello Mari,
Why are you bringing these garbage comments to the blog? What is the point? I don’t understand.
Are trying to defend HG by attacking that troll here? On a safe territory?
Or is it because HG is a person, who you admire a lot, like an idol, and any attack on him you take it personally, as to yourself, your own believes, therefore you have an impulse to protect yourself by defending HG?
Then why not to reply to that imbecile directly there at YT. Your response is too soft. It should be at his level, to get to him. I can suggest an example. He obviously has some mommy’s issues, that might be used, but better actually just ignore him. He is not worth any attention.
Btw, I’ve just checked comments for part 10, I don’t see what you listed there.
Hiya Arya, I’m not going make a habit of it, I just wanted to highlight the different caliber of some comments, when Candace Owens is the subject. I haven’t seen comments as weird, in my time watching HG’s vids and that’s been a number of years. I did comment to that particular oddball, but it was taking the mick in as few words as possible. Not worth trying to get clever or prove a point. A fair few people are coming to the Candace vids and saying really bizarre, ad hominem nonsense. Some of it made me laugh because it was so poor. Maybe these ‘newtexan’ comments have been removed.
I’ve made a few complimentary comments about recent YT vids of HG’s, because they’ve been unusual and stimulating. YouTube and I have a dodgy relationship, in that many of my comments get lost in ether. I got banned completely once and lost all my meticulously saved music playlists. That was for insisting on biological fact and correcting people who called me ‘part of the problem’. So I wanted to make sure my compliments were seen and shared with those who might not have watched them.
There are some strange people lurking in the YT comments Mari, that’s for sure ! 🥴
Hi Jade,
That’s why I rarely go to YT and comment even less frequently.
Lol. Wise move, AV! ✊ It’s very unlike me but i made the mistake last week of getting entangled with a sugar and a die hard HGer telling people “how to comment”.. grr! 😣 I like the videos and am catching up on Dr Christine Bishara series atm.. but note to self, stay away from comments!!
Hello Mary,
I see. But if I was the owner of the blog, I wouldn’t want to see, that one of my reader does copy/paste nasty/bizarre comments about me into my blog, just to say that she doesn’t think so. It’s a bit like a backhanded compliment. HG probably doesn’t give a fig about this, therefore I’m just putting myself into this situation, how I would react. Projecting? Is it the right word?
Imagine your friend is posting in your feed a ss, where someone, let’s say Peter, is saying you are a stupid cow for everyone else in your feed to see it. And then she would say: “look at this, what an asshole this Peter is, ofc, Mari is not a stupid cow, we all know this,”. You would probably ask your friend: “Why in a hell are you doing this?”
To me, you could’ve just said : “there are a lot of weirdos at the comment section, but I’m a full supporter of you, HG, bless you. I really enjoy your analysis, and fuck some of Candece followers, they are nut case”. Thats it.
Plus, why did you put your response here to this newtexan, if you are not trying to prove anything?
But anyway, don’t worry, I haven’t got any likes, so it means I’m only one who see it that way on the blog. So it doesn’t matter, therefore, continue to copy/paste shitty comments about HG here. No problem.
I feel weird, like I’m the one, who is defending him now… No, it wasn’t the driver.
Sorry about your music playlist. It must be hard. YT in combination with disappeared, deleted comments is inevitable part of life. My YT has never been banned, but once suspended for a few days.
You are not the only one.
Repeating those comments only amplifies their reach. This is why teachers are taught to repeat the correct solution instead of emphasising an incorrect one, people tend to remember what they hear or read several times. Repeat the truth, not the lies.
You can only give Likes here if you have created a WP account, so a large group of readers are unable to use this function. And some who do give Likes use them for other purposes than expresssing their approval for the content of the comment, but that is another story. Please do not assume that nobody shares your opinion simply because you did not receive any Likes for it.
Hi Arya, I think we all have different perspectives, don’t we? I saw Mari’s comments and it made me realise why I’d got tangled up in some weirdness on the Candace videos so that was helpful to me. HG also agreed with her and didn’t seem to take offence imo. There’s obviously something about Candace like TOW that brings out a certain type of nut job lol! 🥴 But for me, I find the bluntness of some comments to other commenters, hard. That’s just me. I agree with what you said yesterday about it representing “real life” though and it’s good practice for me but that’s what I’d personally prefer less of. I think we could agree to disagree respectfully and be direct still but with care. Most empaths are keen on self reflection, imo if feedback is delivered thoughtfully.. no one likes to feel attacked or made wrong. I think it can be off-putting for newbies too. Just my tuppence worth but also so you don’t wonder why there’s no comments, that’s my opinion … 😊
Ps you asked me the other day about seeing an empath with eroded empathy??
Arya,
I found this comment late, I actually can’t believe you are continuing this. I could write a longer comment explaining myself, but it doesn’t warrant our time and energy:
You’ve got me so wrong here. I don’t even know where to start.
I didn’t share my comments to newtexan on this blog. All I said to newtexan was, ‘Ru OK hun’ with a hug emoji. Not even a question mark.
HG can defend himself. He could rip me to shreds in 3 words or not publish the comment. He’s objective and intelligent enough to know I didn’t mean harm or a threat.
Perhaps the comment landed badly for some. It was a little clumsy and from left field. Perhaps it was ill considered. Perhaps my dry/blunt humour doesn’t translate. Perhaps I didn’t clarify my reason for sharing it. It really doesn’t matter. The motive was to possibly invoke discussion about the Candace Owen series and how some peculiar followers emerged like crayfish from the mud.
The comment you’re discussing was a continuation of a previous comment about the Candace Owen series, bringing ‘fruit flies to the table’ and how I didn’t want to engage with them, despite finding it tempting.
The YouTube playlist thing wasn’t ‘hard’ at all. It was just very annoying.
I’ve already gone on too long!
Where is my reply?
One sip… one year of emotions you were never meant to feel… but if she becomes the only thing you’d break your own rules for, you might never want to go back… Would you take the potion?
No.
I can’t! Jennifer Lawrence (the actress) has a secret life on ThikTok, getting into fights over the royal family lately. Anyway, she played a Russian spy in Red Sparrow. I made it through the film, but apparently my brain chose to delete all of it. It’s just not that clever when they show that the character “has it in them” right from the start, and she then has to work twice as hard to make the character believably vulnerable again. If the character can switch that easily right away, it takes away the development and becomes boring to watch. There is no struggle anymore, and the connection that should make the performance memorable is lost.
Better female spy stories and performances that spring to mind would be The Debt (Helen Mirren/Jessica Chastain), Shining Through (Melanie Griffith), and 24 (Nina Myers). Their long-held vulnerability made them interesting. And with Nina Myers, it’s as you say: the nice ones are the ones to watch closely.
Speaking of spies:
From the eight scenarios you set out, could it be Markus Anderson who saw an opportunity to pull the strings? It wasn’t planned, and TOW was an accident he realised he could make use of. An interesting further thought could be: is he still utilising her (can he?), trying to control what cannot be controlled? And does he do so because he also watches your material?
You said you are just using TOW because people have interest and she is popular, which makes it seem like she is also an accident you are utilising for your purposes. BUT the whole strings-being-pulled idea in the eight scenarios makes it look like something else, doesn’t it?
The conspiracy theorist in me wonders.
Jordy
“For Josi and WN:
I’m a female, born female, I love being female, and I will remain female. Polarity exists in both sexes, so when I’m in a more masculine polarity (not bisexual, just mentally more masculine at times), some women may interpret my writing as coming from a man. Nope. I think you both simply recognize your own masculine part or perhaps traits you would like to see in a man and then project, assuming that I’m male.”
Dear Jordyguin. Since I am not strong in English, it is difficult for me to understand forms of address (which gender). If you are a girl — great, let it be so. How can I or anyone else claim the opposite, if we do not know each other? It is your right to be whoever you want to be and whoever you are. A girl, a guy, a narcissist, an empath, a believer, an atheist (and so on and so forth) — in general, none of that matters, as it seems to me.
What happens here is a discussion of HG’s work and narcissism — that is what unites all of us. I allowed myself to speak about narcissists and their hypothetical presence on the site (just a thought, and I think it can be voiced) without attaching it to specific participants. This thought simply resonated with what Lolita wrote.
I think it is pointless to walk around handing out labels — narcissist or empath; it is more effective to highlight specific points in communication (and here it does not matter whether you are a narcissist or an empath — it applies to everyone). Although… that too is questionable.
Anyway, have a good day, Jordy! And a special thank you to you for pushing me toward studying HG’s work in more detail and finally taking his consultations. I was once very inspired by the way you talk about his work and how well you understand it. It was as if you reached out your hand to me and said, “There is an amazing HG universe here — come join us.”
In short, you beauty — thank you! 😉
Josi, you’re scaring me)))) What do you mean, “whoever you want to be”?
It’s a girl, I promise you. The only inspector I can think of who could confirm that for you, and whose verdict you’d actually trust, is usually quite busy around Christmas. I don’t think a gender reveal can be arranged anytime soon.
Please believe me, I don’t have a choice in the matter. It’s chick-chick-boom=XX.
Thank you very much for your kind words, Josi. And please don’t ever feel that my comments imply you shouldn’t voice your thoughts or bring up whatever you wish to discuss about the presence of narcissists on the blog. I enjoy reading your contributions and the way you think through things.
I just didn’t want you to remain potentially confused about whether I’m male or female, since you’ve addressed me as he/him a couple of times, along with another reader. So I figured it was time to clarify that☃️👙✧
Hi, Jordy 🎀
“is usually quite busy around Christmas.”
Where is this info from? )
I miss you, Jordy 💕. Glad you are back to the blog. Love your mind, sense of humor and frankness. Always read your posts to the end. And often, things you are saying are so precise, you are nailing it for me. Or I just burst in laugh. ..mass, space and energy..
Regarding, Russian female spies movies. There are so many of them. I”ve watched Red Sparrow as well, but it must be a bad movie, as you said, cause I don’t recall a thing. I remember Salt, though.
The funny thing, once in online game I was playing, I was told the rumors about me, that I’m a Russian spy. That I’m traveling through continents to gather information on political/economical views of the western players and then report it to some secret Russian agency. That made me laugh “What? No, this is so ridiculous”, ” and do you believe it?”…he replied :”Idk, are you?” I laughed again, “well, if I’m a spy, then I must be an awful one, since I have been so easily discovered. And ofc I’m not, to gather such simple info, you won’t need a spy, a hacker/certain software is sufficient.”.
And off topic, but regarding a narcissism. If you have an object, an appliance in your home like a car, which is malfunctioning, do you smash it with a hammer as a punishment? Or you actually would try to fix it instead?
On that note, I had a coffeemachine at home, Jura, rather expensive for me, about 2000$. Recently, I have decided to do full maintenance cycles on it. Decalcification, milk system cleaning, changing filters, broken capuchinator part etc. I did all of this, and turn it on. It started to give me an error: “empty drip tray”. No matter what I did, it would just keep showing me this error message and it won’t function. I googled in YT, every possible causes for that and implemented all recommendations, including unplugging it from electricity for 10 mins and back. This battle with a coffee machine lasted for about an hour. I gave up, I said fuck it and plugged it off. At the morning, I plugged it in and miraculously, the error message was gone and it was perfectly functioning. I couldn’t help it, but to think to myself: “Well, silent treatment does work indeed, sometimes”.
Arya- It sounds like that coffee machine was worth every penny. It gave you the silent treatment?
Hello Violetfire,
No, I gave a silent treatment to an appliance (coffee machine), and it started to function again.
It’s a joke, with reference to how a narcissist sees his/her victim and use a manipulation to make him/her do what a narc wants.
Hi Arya. I knew what you meant and I was making a joke as well saying that it was actually your appliance giving YOU the silent treatment. (When it malfunctioned.)
Hi Arya and Violetfire,
Your conversation about Arya’s coffee machine and silent treatments made me laugh. Thank you for your funny comments.
Arya’s silent treatment stand-off with her malfunctioning coffee machine is a fantastic example of several aspects of the narcissistic dynamic, such as: corrective devaluations; narcissistic cementation; setting appropriate boundaries; no contact; logical thinking; and fuel and control.
And after the corrective, mutual ‘silent treatments,’ Arya can enjoy a great cup of coffee!
Sounds like a win-win! 🙂
Me again. I love the Diligent v’s Dolittle vid as well. The perfect comparison, if ever there was on. Makes me laugh to think of Dolittle lasting more than three days in Northumberland 😀
Is there any upside to “Me Too-ing” a known narcissist? When I got raped by an older Mid-ranger I didn’t do anything about it because I didn’t (and I still don’t) want the scrutiny. People asking inane questions like, “do you think part of him thought you liked what he was doing to you?” Well, he tore my cunt, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to stop, and he left me so traumatised and injured that now a decade later I cannot bear the idea of having sex. So, no, I do not.
Would you consider doing Neil Gaiman, Hg? The details are damning. I retraumatised myself perusing what he did to that young woman, Scarlett, who is suing him. Anal rape followed by faecal fellatio. Her bleeding bum. Calling her “Slave,” whipping her with his belt. Asking her to call him “Master.” Making her lick his urine.
I thought of joining a convent after reading an article about Gaiman’s alleged sex crimes.
Is Neil Gaiman worth an in-depth analysis? He has the sexual proclivities of an Upper Lesser, the detached arrogance of a Greater, the delusional belief in his non-existent innocence that the Mid-ranger displays.
Now excuse me, Hg, I must go collect my habit.
LL: what you describe. Horrible. So sorry. Hope you are ok! X
Agreed. I am sorry too. 😟
Bonjour! HG, this run of MI5 style presentations blew my little mind a bit. I like what you’ve done there. I even slowed them down a touch and kept re-listening to bits so it would soak in 😀 It was compelling. I thought, ‘What’s he up to? Is this a case of The Truth, Half Truth and Nowhere Near the Truth?’ But as you said in the ‘Murky World’ explanation, it made me think (it hurts us).
You say one is true. I noticed a few listeners were quick to say it’s the Winterlight one, but I shall have another listen and see what I reckon. Might not be that obvious.
I did find it hard to believe the queen would let sentimentality overrule a red alert, but je ne sais pas (I learnt French on Duolingo). Maybe that’s the true one!
The Royal Variety vid is beautifully written too. You’ve been having a right old spurt.
I’m about to tackle this Bazaar photo shoot one. Note the contrast between the latest TOW pics and Catherine’s appearance at the RV event. TOW looks like some kind of slovenly junkie with a spinal problem in the ones I’ve seen. Isn’t she nodding out in one of them? 😀
“dress-gate” (about TOW stealing clothes from photo shoots) also seems to be gaining traction, Mari 😄
hey jade, indeed! 😀 i saw she had a columbo coat on, as part of that stupid soho furniture reel she did – i wonder if that’s from the harpers bazaar thing? she’s just a parasite, one way or another. whatever her origins, bloodline, backstory, connections, purpose, mission, she is just a narcissistic flea. take, take, take.
Hi Mari and Jade,
HG’s MI5 videos are great. They’re like real-life James Bond situations. Listening to them gives me a general and subtle feeling of anxiety.
It’s difficult to determine which video is the truthful one. Some have details that sound too far-fetched to be real, and others that mention thought processes of individuals or similar ‘sentimental’ details sound like they couldn’t or wouldn’t be the kinds of details that MI5 would report on.
The most realistic sounding video to my mind is the one called ‘The MI5 Megxit Threat Assessment.’
I wonder if HG will reveal the ‘true’ video. I’m guessing he won’t.
About TOW’s ‘sticky fingers,’ it’s hard to believe that someone in her position is so lacking in self-reflection. Surely, if nothing else, she must know that people will notice missing items? If she wears a stolen dress or stolen shoes, etc, there are millions of people watching and talking about every detail and everything she does. How can she not see this?
It must be the entitlement and low impulse control working with the lack of shame and lack of self-reflection. When these traits are combined, the result is that she is literally blinded to the consequences.
Hi Mari and WN, I haven’t watched those videos (oh part from the yacht one ⛵) .. there must be so much that’s been hushed up.
She’s unbelievable isn’t she? But entitlement as you say WN. 👏 I saw a clapback that she keeps them to stop people selling them (as she’s worn them lol) and saving them for a “royal” archive!! Also another about a carpet being put out at the HB shoot, that only she could walk on. I think mid rangers like her presumably don’t usually get into these sort of positions of money and power and the power is sending her more cray-cray than she already is lol! 🥴🤑
Hi Jade,
“I think mid rangers like her presumably don’t usually get into these sort of positions of money and power and the power is sending her more cray-cray than she already is lol! 🥴🤑”
Yep, I know what you mean.
TOW is an ambitious and singleminded social climber. This behaviour was evident at a young age, so it’s an innate motivation for her.
Given that she was consistently indulged by her father, she was able to ‘social climb’ not based on the success of her own genuine efforts, but because of the ‘assistance’ she received when her father opened doors for her and paid for her to have the lessons, the education, the opportunities, etc.
As a result, TOW learned from a young age that using other people would give her the things she wanted or the social position she craved.
To this day, she is still using people for the same reasons and – whether people like it or not – it’s working for her. She is getting what she wants and she has the social status she wants. She won’t be arrested for stealing a dress or a pair of shoes.
TOW’s stealing looks crazy and people can easily see that she has no morals and no shame. Still, she gets away with it and continues to be in a higher social position than most people. HG often describes her as ‘a nobody,’ and I know what he means, but clearly, she is recognised all over the world and has become a public figure of our times, so she’s not really a ‘nobody,’ unfortunately.
I think it’s a sad reflection of the way fake and superficial people become more important than they actually are, based on the way they attract attention and fame – the bread and circuses concept.
I completely agree WN. Its scary how her dynamic with her dad has played it so clearly in her adult life with men and more generally …
Hello WiserNow, I appreciate your insights. When I listen again, I shall consider your hunch re: Megxit Threat. A viewer commented elsewhere, that MI5 had flagged TOW as a Red Alert and it made me smile. This may be true, but they’d seemingly run with HG’s MI5 content.
Her entitlement’s gone ‘fois gras’ I imagine. Perhaps with assured impunity? Or it’s purely second nature. She can’t help herself when it comes to helping herself to others’ things. To quote HG in ‘Grifting from a Complete Stranger’, “Delusions of grandeur and the impulse control of a raccoon in a trash can.” Hahaha.
Ha! Love that about the racoons Mari! 🦝 Something Ive often thought about is the power of compound interest when you’re a multi millionaire like them.. obviously their (her) spending habits of a billionaire won’t help but she’s scrambling around stealing and reselling things for £100s of pounds on eBay when they were clever, they’d easily never have had to work again. Too greedy 🤷♀️ obviously the need for attention also ties into her “new ventures” too though…
Hi Mari,
Yes, TOW has “assured impunity” as a result of her being married to a member of the most famous royal family. This ensures that her entitlement persists and is amplified.
At the current time, her “delusions of grandeur” are being enabled by her lack of impulse control. It’s a self-perpetuating loop.
TOW creates drama because of her lack of impulse control; this (along with other things) makes people on social media keep talking about her; this keeps the attention on her with lots of clicks and views; this makes her more ‘famous’; and this feeds into her delusions of grandeur.
TOW’s 15 minutes of fame are being stretched out for years because of who she married. Far fewer people would know or care about what she does if she was married to anyone else.
It’s like a slow motion car crash that’s hard to look away from, imo, WN. 🥴 I think she’s going to end up sad and alone and a figure of pity.. well more than she is now.. 😕
Hi Jade,
TOW may end up alone in relation to having a husband. It depends on whether Harry stays with her or not. She’s a narcissist, so if they divorce, it’s likely she’ll target and ensnare someone else.
I agree WN. Its hard to imagine who’d be “taken in” by her at this stage with the international condemnation but it is still happening so any things possible for sure… 🤷♀️ I saw that there’s a billionaire who’s recently been lending them her homes, private jets etc ….
Hi HG, have you seen James Corden arsehole has got a fresh feud going on with neighbours about a hedge!?
I had not, do you have a link?
Here you go..
https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/james-corden-row-tree-dispute-neighbours-b1258850.html
Thank you.
Hello HG
I searched but no direct articles on Russell Brand. But I don’t get it. Why all the recent shirtless videos? Is it somatic or to appear more humble in his faithmessages? I find it weird almost nuts?
There are numerous videos about brand on my YouTube channel.
https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/james-corden-row-tree-dispute-neighbours-b1258850.html
(Lucifer’s) Lolita, hi sweetheart. I kept thinking about you and your brilliant projection (Lucifer), so here we are. I’m not subscribed to the original article and conversation, so I’ll leave this here for you in case it reaches you.
You are not a narcissist at all, Lolita. I understand where your frustration and comments came from. The thing is, when you opened up the way you did, you revealed how your dependency forms.
Lucifer is a grandiose archetype for projection, and it exposes the dynamics of the empath who projects in that way.
Keep in mind that your own fantasy will ALWAYS create a dopamine release ten times stronger than a real person ever could. For this reason, empaths are habitual fantasists and the war is won before the battle even begins from the narcissist’s perspective. A narcissist WILL mirror your desired fantasy back to you at the start, but they will ALWAYS remove it eventually, because their self-regulation system requires it. And this is a dynamic they repeat with every single person. You are not an exception; nobody is.
The Lucifer archetype does not represent “evil.” It represents the fallen angel: highly intelligent, aesthetic, charismatic, rebellious, independent, tragic, misunderstood – someone who was once great and now exists in the shadows. This creates in the empath a fantasy of romanticism + tragedy + redemption.
Lucifer is an ideal projection figure for women who seek intellectual and spiritual depth. They want the beautiful darkness, the forbidden knowledge, the dangerous man, the dark attraction -the man who cannot be understood by an ordinary woman. (The light-bringer fits the guru or religious narcissist perfectly: enlightened, knowing, superior – exactly the type who would target you, and exactly the type you might fall for.)
A woman who sees herself as “exceptional” makes herself the chosen One within this projection. As you wrote, more or less: I am the only one who understands him, I am the one who truly sees him, and so on. But in reality, it is just chemistry. You are getting high from your own fantasy, not from reality.
Lucifer activates the archetype in you of being the One who can bring salvation. Women in this dynamic believe they are the only person who:
-understands his pain
-sees his true self
-perceives his depth while others only see the surface
-stands at his side against the world
But all of this is self-regulating and not real.
With this projection, the woman feels meaningful, chosen, spiritually awakened, unique.
In reality, she is fulfilling HIS fantasy perfectly, and he is fulfilling HERS. Both are performing roles for each other. There is no real relationship – only mutual projection.
Why is the Lucifer fantasy so ideal for narcissistic dynamics?
Because it allows:
-admiration without responsibility
-devotion without intimacy
-drama without daily life
-the appearance of depth without vulnerability
-pain as a form of closeness
-seduction through darkness
It is PERFECT for narcissists and emotionally dependent women. It creates fantasy relationships and guru–follower dynamics.
As a result, the woman feels special because she assumes the narcissist who uses this archetype IS special. But in reality, she is interchangeable. He is not the archetype – he is USING the archetype to make her believe she is the chosen one.
Narcissists are not fallen angels searching for redemption. Narcissism is a self-regulating mechanism that seeks to reproduce itself with EVERY participant using the same script, the same pattern, the same formula.
You will not be the exception who breaks a hard-wired system. You will only end up used and empty if you fall for your own fantasy and projection.
A commenter a while ago was asking you about Chiara Ferrangi, HG. I came across this thread about her on the Saint Meghan Markle thread on reddit. Sounds like they are using the same tactics for archewell as Chiara..
https://www.reddit.com/r/SaintMeghanMarkle/comments/1p0nvgg/megz_the_budding_influencer/
This isn’t a question but I miss you on the psychopathy and narcissism channel HG. I don’t follow the TOW stuff. I miss your videos over on the other channel.
Hi, WN-‘
“I think I’m starting to see why my example “broke down” for you.”
It’s because you keep moving the goalposts. Now it’s executive salaries you want to consider as driving inequality. You’ve moved from wealth distribution to income distribution.
I’m not deflecting. I was speaking of price controls and taxes in their various forms because these are the fixes the fixers offer. Corporate salaries are not as hot of a topic these days among the Progressives; it’s “affordability”. The likely focus-group-approved narrative is that we will increase “affordability” through government control of the price of labor and goods, and taxing the hell out of property owners, corporations, and anyone else. But the blameshifting is being noticed.
By the way, I think the focus on executive salaries is an outgrowth of the labor theory of value which has been well disproven.
We’re already seeing the results of Progressive handling of cities. St. George in Louisiana recently became its own city apart from Baton Rouge. The Progressives blame racism, but the 10-year legal battle the residents of St. George took on was because they believed their property taxes were being mishandled by a school system beholden to politics and not education. Successful people were footing the bill for what they saw as failing public schools, and when they weren’t allowed to form a new school district, they went the route of an entirely new city. And they took their property and business taxes with them.
In their stupidity and narcissistic blameshifting, the political powers of Baton Rouge shot themselves in the budgetary foot. Now, prosperous enclaves around the country have a successful map for disengaging their wealth and income from Progressive cities. I understand Staten Island has considered this before and the idea is gaining traction again. It’s like a cold Civil War, fought with charters instead of bullets.
My aim is not to deflect. I’m attempting to treat a complex question with the systems thinking it requires. I’m new at it, but I think it’s important to seek the most parsimonious models, not just the simplest. I try to reserve that for analogies. My anchor is to consider the influences of narcissism, normalcy, and empathy on the various systems at play because personalities are essential to understanding the behaviors and outcomes.
I understand the Left’s narrative about who to assign blame, their gaslighting about events, and their means of gaining control as evidence of the prevalence of narcissists among them. The narcissists of the Right appear to favor other tactics in keeping with different goals. I’m not certain yet, but as to the question of wealth inequality I think the narcissists of the Left promote a type of magical thinking which is particularly dangerous because, in their calculations, it benefits them.
But they’re wrong because they’re punishing their own tax base. That tax base will flee–except for the poor who can’t. So, then they discuss things like taxes on social media and per head employee taxes as in Chicago. Brandon Johnson is apparently a genius. He’ll go far.
As they are engaged in behaviors which harm both themselves and others around them and they don’t obtain the stated goals, I find those politicians of the Left particularly stupid. Instead of seeing the value to society of high net worth people, they vilify them to the masses with blameshifting to maintain and expand dependence on their government schemes.
That’s layers of complexity. Spotting the narcissists helps me through it, not scapegoating everybody who is wealthy just because they are so. That leads to the simple solution that the way to fix wealth inequality is to transfer it by fiat out of “fairness”. I’m not advocating a type of blind faith in The Market, but I recognize its history in generating and expanding material comfort. We shouldn’t seek to blame and punish those who have success there, or who hold wealth. That’s magical thinking and it ignores the broader factors at work.
There’s blame to be handed out, surely. Absolutely. However, of the two cases I think in general it’s Leftist politicians who are engaging in the most consequential and dangerous deflections. Of the narcissists in politics or the economy I think they’re showing they’re more dangerous. It comes down to what we do. How we behave. That goes for the bottom 50% as much as the top 1%.
Allison, thank you! This is the deep thought process I was craving and hoping to see.
So if we pull down the system’s curtains, we would see systems that run on the dysfunction of the psyche, yet tell the world that the eroded-empathy standards they operate by are the ones everyone must adjust to. We are asked to adjust to systems that were built to benefit the short-term goals of a dysfunctional psyche sitting in positions of decision-making, while society provides support to the disordered. The decent ones are the ones who must adjust and mirror the expectations of those whose empathy is eliminated. This would infect every aspect of a system, and it continues to infect any new solutions as well, especially when the decent ones are a minority within those circles, though I cannot know that for sure. And perhaps they do not even need to be a majority. Maybe other qualities can outweigh quantity.
The circles that decide on people’s well-being are made of disproportionate ingredients. We can see this by looking at the outcomes and the state of the world, and the disasters it keeps transforming into. The influence of addiction and emotional thinking would also play a role among the empathic representatives in those circles, where narcissists meet empaths.
Who is able to operate from clarity under those circumstances and remain stable?
The empathic perspective and its influence are essential when it comes to building a wholesome environment for living, not merely surviving within systems that lead to empathy erosion over time and mirror the narcissist’s need to survive because they are always on the brink of collapse due to their threat-to-control operating system. And others are basically forced to live the awful shared fantasy alongside that dysfunction.
But under what conditions can the empathic perspective actually achieve a better outcome in politics, when faced with the wall of the existing construct?
Allison:
What do you think about hoarding of wealth ?
Hoarding wealth can significantly impact various systems—economically, socially, and environmentally. When wealth is concentrated in the hands of a few, it exacerbates economic inequality, leading to a widening gap between the rich and the poor, it can lead to lower consumer spending. If wealthy individuals and corporations do not reinvest or spend their wealth, overall economic growth can stagnate. Stagnate.
When wealth is hoarded instead of invested in the community or productive sectors, innovation and job creation can suffer. This can lead to economic loss.
Hoarding wealth can contribute to a divided society, where opportunities and resources are unevenly distributed, potentially leading to social unrest or conflict.
When wealth is concentrated, it can limit social mobility opportunities for those at the bottom, making it harder for them to improve their economic situations.
High levels of wealth inequality can lead to decreased trust in institutions, governance, and the overall economic system, fostering resentment among those with little.
Wealth accumulation can lead to over-exploitation of natural resources, as wealthy individuals or corporations prioritize profit over sustainability.
Inadequate Investment in research….If wealth is hoarded, there may be less investment in sustainable practices or technologies that could benefit the environment , technology, science, medicine.
Wealthy individuals and corporations can exert significant influence over political processes and policies, often prioritizing their interests over the common good. Harming democracy. Those who hoard wealth may resist policies aimed at redistribution or social support, maintaining the status quo. Any escape paying taxes. Offering nothing to public services, the military etc… and….
The masses stop having babies as they cannot afford too. Zero population growth will change the world. Musk says our greatest challenge. I am not a communist as that is just a dictatorship and black market. How about everyone pay fair taxes and a system be put in place where you can’t buy politicians Right or Left? But there are narcs and psychopaths galore in both parties in USA. I see it as both not left or right. What makes me sad is that it is growing and the future generations suffer. They suffer. Will a new group come in and change the world? I pray so.
Do you have any advice for negotiating buying a car?
At first glance this seems off-topic, but I often wonder how you function in daily life. Thank you.
I do. I would need more information from you to provide you with my input effectively and to accommodate that I recommend you organise a consultation with me.
Hope you aren’t squeamish because I’d be so nervous to talk to you I’d definitely throw up. Dry heave at best.
Totally obvious and goes without saying, but do you have psychological tricks that you use to manipulate everyone? (Ie: car salesman) Does it come easily, and is fun to implement? It gives me a weird tingling in my chest to think of you being so powerful. Definitely why empaths are attracted to being under someone’s wing. Protected.
No, I am not squeamish.
Yes.
I just had a consultation with HG. It was extremely helpful to hear things from his perspective. I was a little fluttery at first but he quickly put me at ease. He is a totally professional.
Thank you for the endorsement.
Hi Kat,
I often wonder how Mr. Tudor functions in daily life too.
Does he handle the mundane things like food shopping, laundry & cleaning or does he have someone to take care of that?
How does he go about buying a new car, a new suit, a new watch, etc? Does he research these things first or does he just go for the latest & greatest?
Does he have an android or iPhone?
Does he have a primary care physician?
Does he have a preferred barber or does he use a hairdresser?
Does he use a personal trainer?
I know he’s said that he likes Thai food. Does he order from the same place every time?
Does he have an assistant that helps with some of these daily things?
Mr. Tudor,
Would you share little glimpses of a week in the life of Mr. Tudor?
1. I order online. I undertake some laundry. I have a cleaner.
2. I research and test.
3. I have several iPhones and android.
4. I do.
5. I have a preferred barber.
6. I do.
7. Yes.
Thank you for your responses, Mr. Tudor!
Dear Mr Tudor,
I do not recall you mentioning Shield Maiden for some time now . Are you still with Shield Maiden? If so, what is your current relationship status ?
Hello HG:
Tough question: what do you think of the anti immigration movement in UK?
2. Have you noticed changes in your country due to immigration?
3. If yes to 1. And 2. Any beliefs about immigration in UK?
4. Do you believe that there is a replacement threat to traditional British culture due to immigration?
5. Do you think narcissism or psychopathy plays any part?
6. How?
@contagious
4. Do you believe that there is a replacement threat to traditional British culture due to immigration?
I can answer that, yes! I’ve seen more and more young women wearing niqab and it’s disturbing. Yes they are still a small minority but previously you would barely see that even in London maybe once every few years now you will see several within months. Mayfair has been taken over by rich Arab men with 2-3 wives. There are morons over here like Ali Dawah with over a million followers who believe that the UK should be a Muslim nation and implement Sharia. That’s why I think the monarchy should remain in place.
Now I am “coloured” and will be viewed as a “sell out” by certain people for having that opinion but it’s facts.
Dearest Witch,
Empath 101, “if it feels “off, it probably is”
Question…. Now I’m “coloured” and will be viewed as a “sell out” by certain people for having that opinion but it’s facts” …….by whom ?
Hey Witch:
Matt and Julia did a show on the real UK which discussed outside the wealth of London the rest of the country has faced a high increase in the cost of living. Stagnant or lowered wages and a housing crisis increasing homelessness. Matt showed a graph showing how the top one percent doubled its income ( trillions) post COVID. The rest fell. What I found being with a Brit for 12 years and having close friends in Europe this is the trend the world. Third world countries have rich and poor. No middle.. I had a Puerto Rican boyfriend in Puerto Rico his family was rich with plantations and I went from the main city to the country and although a more prosperous Caribbean island you saw a real gap. The end result is the vast majority of people struggle and the youth are not having children. Homelessness increases while a smalll percent doubles its wealth. Certain immigrants are having children so yes…. It is expected native Brit’s will be a minority like LA is 51% or more Hispanic. Having babies matters for many reasons. It’s a crisis. I have seen a change in London. I also see the Union Jack protests and I recall even in 1990 the Brits didn’t wave flags like Americans did. UK is my second home in a way. I love it but I see a change. But when in Scandinavia this year…. The cost oof living and immigrants was discussed and it was an issue. It’s all over the world now. We seem to be facing the same issues real or not.
@contagious
Yes part of the protests were motivated by economic issues as you said and cultural divides. There are problems that immigration does bring when it comes to cultural incompatibility which means resources are taken up to help people with those problems. There are people who overstay and some have children and then children’s social services are not allowed to leave the children street homeless or without food (once again resources have to be spent to help those people.)
Now there is an argument…is it fair for some countries to be protected from the worlds problems while others are open to exploitation, and soft imperialism from Europe/America China and UAE, so that their citizens can have more convenient lives?
It is complicated but when it comes to cultural incompatibility I think there are certain things that are more straight forward for example if you already believe in an ideology that proposes world domination and establishing a caliphate in which everyone has to live under Islamic rule maybe it’s not a mystery as to why there is mistrust for that group as a whole and maybe they should try to be more considerate of the dominant culture by you know… not covering their face, Registering their marriage legally, not marrying their first cousin, just some suggestions.
Unfortunately as narcissistic traits are getting stronger I think people are less willing to understand that there is a give and take if you want acceptance.
Morning HG, Have you seen that James Corden *arsehole is locked in a battle with neighbours and the council over paving over biodiversity to add extra space for his wheelie bins? 😄
Indeed I have. Video providing observations about the arsehole out today.
You spoil us, HG. Thank you! I saw that Dani mentioned in the YT comments just you’ve met him. That must be an interesting story… (From your side, not his ☺️).
Hello, I have been listening to your Candace Owens analysis, HG. I’ve read a few comments on Part 6 and the subject has brought a number of fruit flies to the table, hasn’t it? 😀 Deary me.
For example: ”
@Usernamesarelame378
13 hours ago
This is a psyop channel I would seek alternative perspectives and then decide based on all sides of the argument ”
Username blah blah 378 clearly has no idea how HG does exactly that, ergo, possibly hasn’t listened to the other parts or any other analyses or the ‘why I do this’ intro vid before making the comment.
and: ”
@kyniedude
9 hours ago
A lot of misinformation has been presented with misquotes taken out of context…I don’t understand why or what is the reason for HG Tudor to be doing this, even so many details have been inconsistent from one video to the other, didn’t expect this, can only wait and see what is his conclusion and then decide what the agenda is ”
OK, Columbo.
and similar claims of misquoting, not getting her humour; HG being a left-leaning Jew with a mysterious agenda, etc. Not even worth correcting them, which I fell into the trap of with the last example, then deleted as I don’t want to attract ninnies. I mean, it’s good to question information, but you know…brain addled bell ends ‘n’ that.
I am objectively appreciating the analysis. I certainly have felt the discomfort I get when narcs are about, with Candace. If not a narc, she might be narcissistic! Little do her supporters know, HG aligns only with himself ultimately and couldn’t give a fig about Candace, other than to break down the facts and determine her nature, based on evidence Oh yes, we’re all cult members as well: HG is a narcissist and his ‘students’ and clients are also ALL narcissists and it’s a cult. Who knew?
Thanks, HG!
The ignorance and prejudging provides its own evidence.
Interesting, thanks for highlighting this Mari. Hope you’re well ☺️
There’s also a rather irritating person in HGs comments, going around “correcting” people in a patronising way too.. ugh. sometimes I love YT, sometimes it’s too “peoply”!
I always thought that Candace Owens was a narcissist. Up until her fighting to find out who really assassinated her friend Charlie Kirk. She may be doing it for selfish reasons but I’m still glad she’s doing it. Some narcissists are better than others and in my opinion she’s better than Erika Kirk, TPUSA, Trump and Israel. So if she ends up being a narcissist I’m ok with that. Her fighting for her friend feels genuine to me though. Her fighting always feels genuine like she’s really seeking truth. But she is very grandiose with a sense of entitlement and mean.
She has provided lots of evidence on her podcast that something is very suspicious about Charlie’s death and the actions and behavior of TPUSA. And she knows many of these people. I’ll be honest though, I haven’t really followed her until recently.
Hi HG,
hope you’re well. Would there be situations where a non narc has no emotional empathy?
Thank you 🙏
Reduced, yes.
Thank you.
Hi Jade,
Great minds think alike, LOL! I asked Mr. Tudor a similar question about a reduction in empathy. There was quite a bit of a conversation afterwards as well. Here’s a link to Mr. Tudor’s response.
https://narcsite.com/2024/02/29/knowing-the-narcisisst-the-asylum-of-the-grotesque-andrea-3/#comment-454146
Thank you Leigh. That’s such a useful conversation. I feel like you’re a really helpful HG librarian lol! .. thank you. 🙏The nuances of the conversation mirrored a lot of of my own experiences.
I saw an old neighbour today who I always found quite stand offish. I didn’t bother saying hello which takes a bit of doing for me, but I just thought, why bother? I like to be generally kind but I think as mentioned in that thread, it’s choosing when and where you switch it on, or off, that is empowering (empathy). It was very sad about the woman HG shared about. I can imagine some situations could change someone completely. I also thought the point made (I think by Alexis) that once we know narcs exist, it’s impossible to go back…
Hi Jade,
In my other life I must’ve been a librarian or historian, lol! I love that stuff. There’s a piece of me that would love to go back to school to be some sort of historian or librarian. I love doing the digging and research.
That’s exactly it, Jade, Once we know that narcs exist, its impossible to go back. For me, the lowering of empathy happened naturally once I learned about narcissism. Sometimes I make the choice but often times, its not even something I think about. TS made a comment to you recently about narcs only hold the power for as long as we care. I feel the exact same way. For me, reaching the point of indifference has been the key.
Ugh! Whenever I run into someone I know in the wild, I try to avoid them as much as possible. I’m always uncomfortable and I don’t know what to say. 😫😫😫
Well I’ll write you a reference for librarian school, Leigh! There’s so much useful HG content and comments here and you are very helpful indeed in tracking a lot of these 🙏! 📚 I’ve often thought about librarian school too. There is such a thing I learnt from a librarian friend! How cool (or not haha) is that! 🤓 Yes, not caring is the place to get to. I usually care too much and get myself in trouble that way. With proven narcs I have dialed it to zero now and try and keep it that way. They play on that trait otherwise, don’t they?
Ha! I’m quite similar with humans! I can be ok with some people but often duck before they see me (not as obviously as I did with the workplace narcissist I mentioned a while back lol 🫣). My hubby is similar and we were out shopping last week and I spotted a (perfectly nice) neighbour, ducked before she saw me and then texted him so he wasn’t caught out either lol! 😂 The world is often too “peopley” 🥷😂
Lol! Writing me a reference for librarian school made me chuckle!
Its so funny, two weeks in a row I ran into a neighbor at the supermarket. I couldn’t avoid her because we were walking towards each other. I actually enjoyed the conversation though. Her husband is definitely a narc. He’s an asshole. But I’ve always liked her.
I wanted to thank you also for alerting me to the Narc Con interview. I like to relisten to the interviews sometimes. After you mentioned it, I went digging to listen to that interview again. I
didn’t realize there was two of them. I missed the second one.
I’ve missed our “chats” recently Leigh!
Neighbour dodging is a good pastime isn’t it lol! 🥷Glad you had a nice chat though.
I’m glad you liked the second narc con interview too. Good to be able to recommend something to you rather than the other way around as it is usually 🙏 I also watched the Sidley twins being interviewed by HG yesterday which was interesting. There’s a funny bit where one of them says about HGs sexy voice!
Ps I notice how patient you are in interviews, HG (with their dogs barking 😄). You’re a good interviewer.
Awww! Thank you, Jade! I missed our chats too.
I’m on the blog much more than YouTube. It can be hard to listen to a video. I listen on my evening walks and my drive to and from work. So sometimes I miss video. I think I missed that Sidley Twins video too. I’ll have to check that one out too.
Have you listened to any of the 100k interviews? That’sa series where Mr. Tudor does the interviews too. He interviewed some of his clients. They’re pretty interesting.
The escape videos are good too. Some of the bloggers made videos.
Hi Leigh,
Hope you’re well. Tonight’s listening was this one of HGs livestreams
https://www.youtube.com/live/J1O9OpfToEY?si=j3i-ie3kjDozcUgM
definitely worth a listen if you hadn’t already. I love those little lightbulb moments when you connect dots or learn something new and I had lots of them with this one! 💡A few of the topics were DID and hypnosis.
I love the livestreams! Some listeners would ask great questions!
I’m well. Thank you for asking.
How’s everything with your coworker? Did he fill the open spot in your group?
Hi, Leigh–
“For me, reaching the point of indifference has been the key.”
I think that’s an interesting point. I’m not so afraid of narcissists as I used to be and it’s entirely down to HG’s work. To borrow the phrase, I feel wise as a serpent but innocent as a dove.
In the wild I tend to be in “Trust, but verify” mode. The gift of his understanding is life affirming and liberating and I feel more a part of this world thanks to HG.
But if need be I will still cut a bitch.
Hi Allison,
Its the opposite for me. I’m cynical and I trust no one until they show me that they can be trusted. The cynicism has actually gotten worse since finding Mr. Tudor. My wall is always up.
I agree about not being afraid of narcs. With the exception of Mr. Tudor, they’re very simple human beings. I find when I’m dealing with a narc in the wild, I just blow some smoke up their ass. That makes them well fueled and then I can walk away, unscathed.
The livestreams are great, i agree Leigh! I appreciate all the available work so I’m not running out of HG material! 😅
Glad you’re well. ❤️
No more on the co-worker, thanks. I actually had a conflict with a client last week which we worked through and sorted. I’m feeling more confident and noticing that I’m less anxious about conflict particularly after that as I stuck up for myself as I knew I was in the right, whilst also being compassionate. I can tell this person isn’t a narcissist too which helped (thanks HG).
I’m a funny breed, very scared of conflict but will face it (whereas narc mum will never talk about anything and (?) dad too. I realised it’s a childhood thing of fear of conflict but I think particularly with narcissists (because you’ll never win or have a win win!).
Hi Jade,
Lol! I’m the total opposite with regards to conflict. I’m a bit of a know it all and I will dig my heels in. My narc trait of argumentativeness is HIGH!
I was raised in household where there was a lot of arguing. Ironically though, that environment made me realize that I’m allowed to have a voice. I don’t like it when someone tries to quiet me and it usually makes me louder.
What that all said, I’ve learned to curb that a little bit. Sometimes its better to just keep my mouth shut.
I think what happens here is that we learn balance. You’ve learned its ok to stick up for yourself. I’ve learned that its ok to back off too. I try to look at risk vs reward and then decide.
That’s why I love this blog so much. Mr. Tudor really does teach us so many life lessons. I see him as one of my guides.
Hi Leigh,
It’s finding the time isn’t it? The Sidley one was good though I do find HG being interviewed more interesting on the whole. I just appreciated how good he is at interviewing too.. very un self centred for a narcissist! It makes you appreciate his facade and control!
I guess his topic is specifically narcissism so that’s why too (plus he’s hilarious and I always learn something new). I’ll have to check out the escape ones. I have listened to some 100k ones. There was an interesting one with a narcissistic individual which was different too.
I started listening to the Sidley Twins video today. I’m enjoying it so far. Mr. Tudor is always the gentleman.
Thank you for pointing me in that direction.
Ps just noticed I’m mirroring HGs wonderful grammar, saying things like “narcissistic individual”.. not a bad thing! 😄
Just started the escape series, Leigh! It’s so good to hear people’s escape stories and I think I’m linking some with the bloggers here. ❤️ Thank you as always for your recommendations #leighlikes 😄 hehe
I just commented to HG about another video, where I confirmed more narcissists ABC behaviours. It’s like the pennies are dropping faster the more I learn! 🪙
Yes, some of the bloggers here talked about how they escaped too. It was nice to hear the success stories. It gives hope!
Haha Leigh! Maybe that’s why we get on, here. Opposites but similar! I have my moments of course but generally any whiff of conflict, my antenna is off. I was never allowed to be angry so I think it’s learning now that it’s ok and sometimes necessary. I’m finding how much I’m learning here, not just from HG but from other commenters. 🙏
I agree! We’re very similar. We just approach it a little differently.
Mr. Tudor really has created a special place here. We learn so much from him and the other bloggers.
Hi, Leigh–
“That makes them well fueled and then I can walk away, unscathed.”
I hope you stop blowing that smoke. Their asses are undeserving of your sweet attention.
“I hope you stop blowing that smoke. Their asses are undeserving of your sweet attention.” – That made me laugh! Thank you, Allison!
That’s it Leigh, and he has. It seems like it turned from a project for the good doctors to something he enjoys alongside the prime aims. I think we all seem to enjoy intellectual stimulation here.
Ps you remind me of a few empath friends I have had in the past.. similar and different at the same time and it works nicely I think 😊👌they were good eggs 🥚
Jade says, “…similar and different at the same time and it works nicely I think” I agree. The similarities and differences do work nicely together. If we were all the same, it would be a bit boring!
Glad you enjoyed the sidley twins one, Leigh. HG was a good interviewer and they are so sweet! The longer I’m here I’m appreciating how HG is always the gentleman and often much better behaved than us!! 😉 (tho a bit “rude” at times! 😂). It’s funny how you can become so fond of a narcissistic psychopath lol !
That is why I am so effective, way beyond the unaware and base of my brethren.
I agree HG .. scary and impressive at the same time but appreciate that it helps us too!
Hey Jade:
I want to talk about empathy and kindness. I was 5. I had tested gifted but my mother kept me in this new school. A little black girl named Tracey joined our class and she was in trouble a lot. Yelled and fought the teachers. She would be all alone at recess. I made her my friend. We held hands and talked. I don’t recall what she told me but I knew she was afraid a lot. I gave her matching bracelets. When the school was with us all, she sometimes screamed and acted out and I could tell her to be quiet and she would. I wanted to protect her from trouble. .my mother did not like my new friendship. I didn’t know why but the school removed her so it ended. When I went to high school I was nominated homecoming queen, I was a cheer leader, I was the star of the school plays, I won the only scholarship in the state to DC called Presidential classroom, I was in the newspapers, I took a year of college in high school…. Yet….i rejected my “ popularity” and those in it to hang out with the stoners at lunch, I befriended the bullied nerd who I hung out with, I hung out with the the segregated black kids and was best friends with my devout Catholics at the school outside of my school. Why? Then I went to a big public college, I joined the popular blond sorority. Became VP but my two picks during rushes was a black girl named Karen who I am friends with today unlike most the rest who I still find shallow and I rushed a Philippine girl and thus we won some diversity award. Not my intent. Yes, I joined the protest against apartheid. Yes I joined legal society and helped an American Indian man in his fight against having a social security number and my boyfriend was Puerto Rican through college which my mother was aghast until she found out how rich his family was. That was a turn off to me. I loved him but was intimidated by wealth at that age. my father said does he make you happy? When I went to law school, I mentored two disadvantaged girls. One I am still friends with. I took in people in my 20s who needed free rent to get back their feet and founded a national arm of a charity to help children. It goes on to this day. The free legal advice and help has been nonstop since I got licensed. I rarely turn anyone away. But why this empathy from 5 or younger? I have long surprised my parents with my choices. I give it up to God. When I was 12, I was praying in my bed. I was a religious seeking child … way beyond my parents interests. There was a nunnery down the street called St Maria Greta. But I had never met them. But I had thought of being a nun at 12. Anyway as I lay praying on a summer day when you could smell fresh cut grass and a cool breeze, I felt a hand in my shoulder. True. I thought I was dreaming so I made sure I was still awake. It was there and it felt strong and comforting. Then… well I don’t recall if I had a written place or I imagined it but St Francis poem appeared and I read it again and https://www.cathedralstm.org/about-our-catholic-faith/expressing-our-faith/treasury-catholic-prayers/prayer-st-francis-assisi-prayer-peace
And that is my goal in life. My motive.
Where does empathy come from? For me, it’s God. It always has been. I was too young at 5 to know. It had to be Him. And I shall never forget that summer day.
You can believe me think I am nuts or condemn me. They said the same of Jesus. But I am telling you my Truth. Now maybe you could argue genes. I don’t know. It could be genes. But helping others is what fulfills me. Righting wrongs. I have a 10 million dollar civic action case now. Motherhood took top spot but ever day… calls… strangers, neighbors, friends…everyday. I don’t know how to be someone else and I don’t know how to be. Sometimes very very very tiring to be me. I get why patience is a virtue but a hard one to have. Is it because at age 17 I worked 2-3 jobs through college nd aw school? Bought my own home? Raised two beautify children? Does empathy come from genes? From struggle and suffering? Gem God? I think it’s All Him personally and I am vessel of the light or try to be. I think my actions at such a young age are proof of it or my e genes and I had nurturing parents, my dad more so than my mom. She’s Norma”… I think. Nice, moral, practical and good but my father was uber empathy like his family.
I’ve also been wondering where our personalities come from, Contagious.. obviously a mix of nature and nurture, but beyond that… 🤔 Interesting about your experience, I’ve had unexplained things happen too and sometimes we know even if others can comprehend them.
The more I learn here, the more it feels there’s a predestination to much of it, wherever we’re an empath or narc os in-between. HG was going to be a psychopath regardless as that’s not environmental. The “moment of choosing” for narcs, empaths etc seems to be subconscious. How do we end up what we are? It makes me think that there’s a lot prewritten in a way…
Hi Jade,
This is so interesting! I’ve considered if it was predestination too! My dad use to tell me about the Book of Life and that our lives were predestined.
The idea that its predestined would give me an excuse as to why one daughter was a narc & one an empath. That actually didn’t sit well with me though. I have to take responsibility too.
What’s even more interesting is that I often feel like I’m a passenger in my own life. So I did seriously consider that it was all predestined.
I struggled with this though because it felt like a blameshift. It felt like it meant I had no control of my choices. I didn’t like that. I ended up coming to the conclusion that even if I don’t do anything, that’s still a choice that made.
It’s interesting about predestination isn’t it Leigh? I think it’s both, if that’s possible. I remember HG saying in one video about that we all have choice, but within the framework of what we are, which made the made the most sense to me. So he couldn’t just choose to be an empath, as we couldn’t choose to be a narcissistic psychopath or behave as one ongoingly as an adult.
the age we “choose” the route of empath, narc, normal etc is fairly young and we don’t realise we’re doing it, it seems … so I think there’s a predestination in a sense of who were born to etc and then in those early years, things happen, we choose subconsciously and then the chips fall where they may… Some would say, all that was predestined too. I don’t know… 🤔
Ps when you’ve said, you’ve made your bed, you must lie in it, I do of course get your meaning but I do think some of your bed may have been predestined… I guess the idea (which I know isn’t fit everyone) that we choose our lessons in advance … I do feel I’m here to learn how to be kind WITH boundaries for example. The last part of that explains most of my life’s journey so far, I believe.
Hi Jade,
I have a lot of thoughts whirling around in my head right now, lol!
It makes a lot of sense that our choices would be based on our framework. I think that would be true with many different things, not just our personality type. Someone who has a higher income or more educated will make a different decision than someone who is poor or uneducated. I think whether someone has freedom or not, would also be a determining factor.
Its interesting to look at it like we subconsciously made a choice. I think that must be true on some level. We made the choice that we thought would be best for us.
I do think that whatever is happening now in my life is a direct result of a choice I’ve made in the past. I can see a string and how it led me here.
I also believe in karma. I understand karma the same way Mr. Tudor does. The things that I’ve done in my past life is what’s causing the circumstances of this life. I think I needed to learn this lesson. Maybe that is some sort of predestined life. But when there’s choices avaisome free will at play as well.
As for my situation with my narc husband, I do believe some of it was predestined. I have to be careful though because thinking that way could cause me to think, “what’s the point in leaving then.” I do have a choice though too and I am choosing this.
Exactly Leigh. 👌
I do think we have choice, agency etc but within frameworks, and as you said also financial etc too. I think saying it’s all predestined isn’t correct and takes away agency but I think also that saying we’ve created it all, isn’t correct too (otherwise we’d be more powerful than a human can be). We do the best we can with what we’ve got, at each step. That includes narcissists etc I believe within their worldview.
I hope you didn’t mind me asking and sorry if you’ve said before, but do you plan to leave one day? ❤️
Hi Jade,
Leaving is always an option in the back of my mind. I stay for financial reasons. Its also not a horrible situation. He’s more neglectful then anything else.
I’ve been thinking about predestined a bit more. I wonder, what do the choices look like for people in North Korea, Russia or China? I feel like I’m already in a better situation for many other people in the world.
Sorry for all my spelling and grammatical errors on my other comments. I don’t know what the heck happened???
I know what you mean Leigh. Sometimes once we can accept someone is neglectful we can get on with things and know where we stand. It’s a valid choice isn’t it? I think similar to Allison just commented to you separately about your attention, I can see your fabulouss-nous if that’s a word lol and that you deserve more. But yes, it’s all relative too and you are making a clear sighted choice. I get that. ✊
Hi Jade,
You asked, “I hope you didn’t mind me asking and sorry if you’ve said before, but do you plan to leave one day? ❤️”
I apologize for my delayed reply. Yes, there’s always a plan in the back of my head to leave. Financial constraints keep me in the situation though, While my situation isn’t ideal, its not intolerable. His form of abuse is neglect, not physical.
No problem Leigh, I just replied to the other comment. ❤️
Lol, Jade! I thought I had responded to you already! But when I didn’t see it, I thought I only thought about responding! Oy vey! Lol!
Fabulousness! I will take it!
Thank you for saying I’m making a clear sighted decision. I’d like to believe I am too. But others may think I’m not being logical. I don’t necessarily think its that black and white. I see him clearly so my ET isn’t conning me in that regard. But I choose to stay, so is my ET conning me to stay? I actually see leaving as more emotional because its based off of how I feel. Leaving also puts me in a more difficult financial situation. Thats why I see staying as the logical choice. But its probably a bit of flawed logic, I’m sure.
Hey Everyone and Happy Holidays to All! Has anyone seen Pluribus on Netflix. Once you get educated by HG you never watch a show the same way again!
SPOILER ALERT ADDED BY HG IN CASE YOU ARE PART WAY THROUGH THE SERIES (LIKE HG IS) AND DO NOT WANT FUTURE INFORMATION GIVEN AWAY IN A BLOG POST
Anyway, what’s interesting is the aliens that invaded the Earth are “ empaths@. They live to make the 12 humans on planet Earth happy, they cannot kill a living thing not even a bug, they cannot make a choice that might make another’s feelings hurt and if you get angry at them you can kill 11 million a they are so sensitive. It is a fascinating look at “ empathy.” Of course they killed 877 million to take over planet Earth and everyone is now ONE. It’s a funny twist on this liberal idea we are all one collectively even the trees. But this one means one like a zombie. Love to see if anyone is watching! It’s great! It’s a very intellectual attack on “ empathy” and what it really means not figuratively but literally. If everyone on planet Earth had to be kind, serving, one minded in this goal… heaven on Earth without conflict. Some not “ inflicted” want to join out of the 12. Carol doesn’t and she is hysterical!!!! What do you think? Apple TV! HG? Happy holidays HG! Love the snow!
I think you did reply already Leigh. Life isn’t black or white is it? You r made the best decision for you for now, by the sounds of it.
Contagious,
Pluribus sounds really interesting. I’m gonna have to check it out now.
One more thought Leigh.. not about your decision to stay per se but wondering about what you said .. doing what you feel like emotionally isn’t logical. You could argue that it is too …🤔
Hello Contagious,
Happy Holidays to you! In case, you don’t know, in Russia, Holidays start on New Year. Christmas is on Jan 7th, cause our church didn’t recongnize the fact that Earth rotates around Sun.
This series sounds interesting, I dont have access to Netflix anymore due to sanctions, but I will check rutracker. Maybe it has been already added.
Jade,
“doing what you feel like emotionally isn’t logical. You could argue that it is too” – I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here. Could you clarify?
“doing what you feel like emotionally isn’t logical. You could argue that it is too” – I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here. Could you clarify?
Hi Leigh,
I think a lot of “wisdom” can have loopholes.. I meant that it might also be illogical not to do what you feel like doing.
I don’t mean that as a judgement on your situation of course, but playing devil’s advocate to that statement… I’d say there’s times to not do what you feel like (e.g. not going to work because you can’t be bothered) but sometimes what we feel like doing, can be the right thing too…
Hi Jade,
I’m sorry Jade. I’m still not understanding what you’re trying to say. You can use my situation as an example if that helps to spell it out clearly for me. I know that no action is a choice too. But I’m having trouble with what you mean by logical vs illogical.
That’s ok Leigh. I’m not always the clearest at explaining my thoughts. They make sense in my head lol. So for your situation (I know it’s sensitive ❤️)..
I do get your argument that it might not be logical to leave based on emotion or how you feel,
however
There could be an argument that it’s illogical to stay when you (basically) don’t want to (even if it’s more “practical”…
Does that make sense. Being devils advocate/ avocado 😉🥑
Hi Jade,
LOL! I finally got it! It took me a minute though. It flew right over my head several times, lol!
Yes, that’s why I say its flawed logic. I’m staying for practical reasons but its keeping me tied to the narcissist. I’m not a love devotee. Its one of my lowest traits so I don’t care about the love aspect. For me, I need to ensure that I can take care of myself. I don’t like leaning on people. Unfortunately because we’ve been together for so long, we’d have to split everything down the middle. By doing that, it could cause some financial instability for both of us. I have a lot of earning potential right now. If I cut it in half, I’d lose that earning potential.
Believe me, I know it seems like I’m nuts. But there’s a method to my madness.
We got there in the end Leigh! 😄 I never wanted to be a teacher as I do half the explaining in my head and forget the other person can’t hear it lol! Yes, I remember you saying flawed logic and I get where you’re coming from. I think HG gives us information and then we can decide what to do with it, can’t we? 🙏 Halving assets is a tricky thing and I’m glad you’ve got to where you have.
Hi Jade,
“…I do half the explaining in my head and forget the other person can’t hear it lol!” – LOL, Jade! This made me laugh! I do the exact same thing! Oy vey! 🤦♀️
Thank you for the link, Leigh. It was useful for me as well.
Hello Jade,
Do you want to observe a reduced emotional empathy in action?
? 🤔 Arya
Hi, Leigh–
“That’s why I’m ok with the melting pot.”
Makes sense. Feel free to ignore the tossed salad analogy. I was mostly being dirty.
Hi HG, more of a UK thing (but obviously Donald Trump is now involved too) interested in others thoughts on the BBC scandal. It seems that they’re (mostly but not all) collectively taking a leaf out of the narcissist handbook, creating a narrative, blame shifting, gaslighting, playing the victim, pity plays… 🤔
Hello HG. I have a special request for your evaluation, maybe sometime early next year.
A series on New Jeans might be a useful change of pace since in it involves a CEO/mother figure who managed to convince 5 young women and some of their parents to join her shared fantasy/scheme and drove a KPop group on the verge of a successful global career right off a cliff. The rapid rise and fall is dizzying.
The legal cases have wound down, and the New Jeans girls are a sad pile of discarded appliances. Min Hee-jin, CEO mama narc, is a pretty brazen piece of work. Going through the legal filings, it seems implausible that anyone fell for her attempted takeover of the group. But she conned the girls and some parents as well as outside investors. If the judges had been suceptible to her manipulation she’d be off running the group now.
I expect you have zero interest in KPop, but this little mini drama is rife with teaching moments for you that aren’t the typical romantic or one-on-one relationship examples that are more often in the media. And it would draw in an audience that may not have encountered your work. I especially feel for the girls who wound up essentially destroying careers and reputations they worked on throughout their teens only to have the influence of one narc in charge essentially end the group before any of the girls hit their mid twenties.
As always,
Thank you
Dear HG,
your first video today was number 11,111 on this day, 11/11, on the Ultra channel. Lots of big parties are happening today starting at 11:11 AM in my country. They SAY they are celebrating the start of Carnival season, but we all know the true reason for this deluge of reminders of who is number 1. Congratulations and nice work!
Thank you.
Hello HG,
are narcissists prone to mobbing empaths?
No.
All around this coffee table, except Jade because she is new, is it possible somehow to tie this circular discussion about your “unique” political views to narcissism and psychopathy? I’m sure you haven’t spent years and years on this blog just to gossip without any connection to what this blog is really about. Not “woe is me”, but maybe, just maybe, something more eye-opening.
53 comments so far, and not a single attempt to apply what you’ve apparently learned. You could have used this wonderful opportunity to look at politics etc. through the lens of analysis. You could have tried at least. But no, you continue doing this; you keep flapping your gums until Daddy has to step in and wrap up the nonsense which only deals with victim talk and gossip, and no effort is applied whatsoever to change the trajectory.
You are so comfortable, so kind, and frankly so self-centred towards yourselves and each other that it never crosses your minds to make it at least interesting for the moderator to moderate. Make it relevant to the legacy of the topic at least; make it relevant to your own abilities at least.
HG does allow off-topic drifts, but especially with politics you never seem to drift into deeper observations or conclusions in relation to narcissism and psychopathy based on evidence and analysis. You remain at the bottom of the possibilities of “I’m right, I’m left, I’m centre, I’m around the corner, I’m on the table, I’m in the attic, I’m on the roof, me, me, me.”
But hey, I don’t know what came over me. Please do continue for another couple of years dragging your nails over that board; it’s “fascinating” to observe, over and over again.
Jordyguin – when were the hall monitor badges handed out?
“When were the hall monitor badges handed out?”
Since now, pumpkin. Here is yours!
Care to give it some thought in relation to your country? Let’s say a more nuanced take on how narcissism and psychopathy can relate to those topics, where to look, and where to place the magnifying glass more directly. What does it mean, and how does it connect to how politics should be run, on what principles? How should candidates be picked, based on what truths or facades? And so on and so forth, you can probably complete the list yourself based on the discussion the coffee club is having.
When I open my mouth, I know I can deliver. What about you?
Hey kumquat – did you just ask me to comment on politics? I think you’re barking up the wrong tree, sweetie. Just sayin’ – historically, I’ve been known to never comment on politics – with exception of perhaps labeling which team a given political figure plays for, as it applies to HG’s work.
So, I am happy to report that Canada was led by an Upper Mid-range Narc and, now currently, it’s not being led by a narc. That’s an interesting educational point in itself…and, we really aren’t experiencing the same flavour of shitstorm as elsewhere as a result.
Sorry – did I understand correctly: you were offering me to be deputy hall monitor? Because, thanks, but I’ll pass – you do enough policing on your own.
WC-
“kumquat” haha
Hi WC,
I love your comment about not discussing politics. That is a wise decision, I’m starting that today also. Thank you!
Hi WhoCares,
“historically, I’ve been known to never comment on politics – with exception of perhaps labeling which team a given political figure plays for, as it applies to HG’s work.”
May I ask why you make it a point never to comment on politics?
Thanks for clarifying that you did not understand what I asked you to comment on. You did comment on my initial post; did you understand what I was addressing there? It looks like you did not, either. Let’s bark up the right tree this time.
Before there was politics, there was narcissism.
Before there was injustice, crime, or war, there was the fracture within the human psyche – the absence of understanding of the self, and of the shared boundaries between selves.
The first disorder was not of systems but of being.
It was the inflation of a false self – a fragile balloon of air constructed to protect a core that did not know how to exist as a separate, equal identity. The true self, uncertain of its worth, learned to survive not through mutuality, but through dominance and submission. It knew only the language of the pyramid: to be above or below, master or servant, idol or devotee.
From this inner structure arose the outer world: societies built as mirrors of the psyche’s imbalance. The empires of history were monuments to the collective false self: vast machines where individuality was seen as a threat to order. Those who dared to stand as separate, whole beings were bent into mechanisms, their uniqueness melted down into the fuel of the collective.
And thus, civilization became a drama of avoidance and a desperate attempt to conceal the wound of self-alienation beneath the masks of hierarchy, power, and belonging. The wars people wage, the systems they defend, the idols they build: all echo the original fear: that without control, they might have to face themselves and one another as equals.
Your turn, deputy hall monitor.
You know what, WhoCares, even though I asked for your turn in my last reply, you’re actually right: this whole thing is my issue, and it’s something I should avoid doing.
This was the last time. Promise.
Violetfire — I notice a new background noise has appeared… Interesting imagery – violet plus fire – I see potential!
The “Ha-Ha!” part reminds me of the guy from The Simpsons who fails to graduate. You enjoy humour; I see potential for its growth as well…
WiserNow,
“Hi WhoCares,
‘historically, I’ve been known to never comment on politics – with exception of perhaps labeling which team a given political figure plays for, as it applies to HG’s work.’
May I ask why you make it a point never to comment on politics?”
I had said that, historically (meaning on the blog) I never comment on politics – I didn’t mean, overall, in my life. I do comment on politics, at times, in my day-to-day life (it’s rare though) but it’s more to get a feel on where someone else is at with regard their stance, and where they are at with regard to their grasp of the personalities involved, as opposed to just chatting on politics and political maneuvering. I always just find it an educational exercise – and form of entertainment – in applying my learning here to political personalities…above and beyond that, I don’t really care for the topic.
For example, when I ask fellow Canadians what they think of Mark Carney – I don’t actually care what their personal opinion is on his politics. I am more interested in the fact that he’s not a narcissist (I know HG has not put him under the Tudorscope, but I would put money on Carney being a normal or narcissistic. I do not believe he is an empath, but he is definitely not a narcissist) and what that means with regard to how he performs on the world stage and how he chooses to deal with fellow political personalities. Like when he had upcoming meetings with Trump – beforehand, I would wonder: how will he deal with it (will he manage to stay painted white, or will he get painted black, and Canada along with him.) Does he have any knowledge of narcissism and how to navigate interactions with such people? Does he consult anyone regarding different psychological personality profiles or does he mostly rely on his own experience, business savvy and particular business acumen? (And then I think, someone should really direct Carney to HG’s work…)
I truly don’t care if he scores some deal with Trump on behalf of Canada – because, wait five minutes, and it all could fall apart – it is Trump, an Upper Lesser, we are dealing with here, afterall.
And now I am really going off tangent here but, this makes me think, similarly, of the latest: that there has been a majority vote to release the Epstein files and Trump, himself, has signed off on this..and everyone is like “Yes, finally!” And I’m here thinking “Pfffft. Have you ever been on the receiving end and waiting for a Upper Lesser narc to divulge information like his financial statement, etc. in a court matter…or something similar?” Because I have witnessed it. And, in the moment, they can say “yes” to anything or put their personal seal of approval on something – but when it comes down to it, the papers themselves might manifest, but you can be sure they find a way to still withhold information or refraining from presenting the information in a clear, transparent format.
Anyway, to go back to your original question, WN – I mostly avoid political discussion as it becomes a hot button issue (similar to religion) and I am not interested in the topic the same way the majority of people are.
Thank you for your reply, WhoCares, it is appreciated.
I think there’s a general belief that discussions about politics and religion are best avoided in social situations.
Personally, I think that any topic can potentially be a “hot button issue.” It depends on the issue, the people discussing it, and the beliefs of the individuals taking part in the discussion.
Say, for example, that you had a strong dislike of pickles and you found yourself talking to someone whose life’s work was the development of a new recipe for sweet and sour pickles – the topic of ‘pickles’ would likely be a hot button issue between the two of you.
I understand what you mean though, politics and religion are two topics that are highly subjective and prone to individually strong opinions.
I enjoy discussing most things, including politics and religion, because it’s always possible to learn something new or consider things from a different perspective.
“And I’m here thinking “Pfffft. Have you ever been on the receiving end and waiting for a Upper Lesser narc to divulge information like his financial statement, etc. in a court matter…or something similar?” Because I have witnessed it.”
This can include a Mid-Ranger or Greater too. There will not be a straightforward, consistently truthful or transparent interaction with any school of narcissist.
With this knowledge about narcissists, I find that the way to respond, or the strategy to adopt in response, is to be adaptive and persistent. If the narcissist will not readily or openly divulge information and this behaviour is expected, then the response is to be prepared and to continue to pursue pertinent details and – particularly with wide-ranging issues like politics or religion – to keep pursuing transparency. I think this is particularly important in situations that have wide-reaching effects on many.
I can understand that politics is a topic that is not particularly interesting, especially if people have more pressing or immediate concerns.
Ouch, Jordyguin. Are you sticking pins in my voodoo doll?
Dear Jordyguin,
I have asked many times, included “my” observations and perspective on the current evil, growing psychopaths and narcissism. I’m not qualified enough, nor is it mine to give or expand on, but to observe and learn.
Feedback, whether it be good or bad, is the basis for a mature discussion that, in turn, we all gain more knowledge and apply logic.
These are unprecedented times with exceptional consequences.
I would very much look forward to Mr Tudor’s analysis.
Hello Dear Bubbles:
We are all blog writers. Politics, current events, celebs, personal experiences are the norm when speaking of empathy, narcissism and psychopathy. I am not HG. I am not an expert. Just a blog member like you. I don’t think we have to have expertise to comment:) xxxx
Dear Contagious,
Thank you lovely ☺️
Always dear Bubbles!
Hi Jordyguin,
“But no, you continue doing this; you keep flapping your gums until Daddy has to step in and wrap up the nonsense which only deals with victim talk and gossip, and no effort is applied whatsoever to change the trajectory.”
Before I continue, I observe that you haven’t said anything meaningful to “change the trajectory.” Instead, you throw around insults while flapping your own gums.
Considering Mamdani’s fanciful pipedream policies to transform NYC’s economy, I have thought of one change that would immediately provide renters in the city with financial relief.
Mamdani could have promised to reduce monthly rents across the board by 10% with immediate effect. This immediate reduction in rents would be combined with a simultaneous ‘freeze’ on other costs and terms associated with rents.
This is not a pipedream and it would not take months or years to implement. It would not cause huge cultural divisions and it would not cost millions.
Instead, it would be one small change that would immediately cause a small but tangible shift in income inequality. It would also provide renters with immediate financial relief. Admittedly, 10% does not amount to a huge relief, however, it does change the mindset that enables rents to increase at the drop of a hat without considering consequences.
I suspect that Mamdani (and other political candidates) would not contemplate a concrete measure like this because they would probably think it would alienate voters who are property owners and landlords.
After being here on the blog for a long time, I know the vast majority of political candidates are narcissists. If not narcissists, they have very strong narcissistic traits. This is the case whether we like it or not. They have no empathy, no conscience, and no remorse. These are facts.
Any meaningful change will not be created by ‘believing’ in one narcissist politician over another. Meaningful change will happen as a result of grassroots-level demands for change.
WN,
We’ve repeated the same pattern often enough that the outcome is predictable: I see a topic reduced to something narrow or oversimplified, I feel the urge to correct it, and I end up engaging in an exchange that neither of us benefits from. That is on me, because your style of commenting has been consistent for years; expecting it to suddenly align with my expectations makes no sense.
My frustration does arise when topics that matter to me – such as film, symbolism and religion – are reduced to overly simplistic remarks. I then fall into the mistake of addressing you directly, even though past experience shows that our approaches to subjects are fundamentally incompatible.
The trigger is mine: under-stimulation and disappointment when I search for deeper reflections within the comments. Without a way to filter contributors, one inevitably encounters material that feels repetitive or superficial. That mismatch leads to irritation, and I accept responsibility for letting it pull me into responses I’d rather avoid.
Going forward, I will shift my focus back to the articles. They offer the intellectual depth I actually seek, and trying to extract the same from the general comment section is unrealistic.
My apologies for the recent spunk. I genuinely wish you progress in your personal situations. I will refrain from further commentary directed at you or others – it simply isn’t productive for any of us.
Hi Jordy,
Do you feel sometimes that you are in the wrong tribe?
Your last comment could be interpreted as being insulting / superior. I don’t think you mean it like that. I interpret it as more to do with processing.
I often look at events, important events, and I’m not all that interested in the event itself. I’m focussed on where that event sits in relation to other events, past and present and then I move to what I’m really interested in, I think about what the event signifies for the future. Not my future, just the future of us all, as a whole. Discussing the specifics feels frustrating to me because specifics are more closely linked to an isolated point in time. I’m looking more at connections, anomalies or repetitions. I’m not all that interested in the detail of now but more in the projection of later.
It’s an INFJ thing I think Jordy. I’m starting to think I’m more INFJ than empath. Empath kind of fits the behaviours but it doesn’t explain the processing.
I’m trapped in my head a lot of the time, working things through. That can be quite a lonely existence and frustrating. Small talk is torture to the INFJ, it’s just feels like time wasting. The problem is, so many conversations feel like small talk. They aren’t, but that’s how they feel. Absolutely nothing to do with intelligence or viewing others as less intelligent. Everything to do with the way the INFJ thinks and processes information.
Maybe some people never truly fit. I seem to fit for a time, until I don’t, then I realise, I never really did fit to begin with. (Woe is me, and so on.)
I enjoy your comments. Sometimes just stating thoughts is worthwhile for your own processing, even if there’s no further interaction.
Xx
TS, hi! What you’ve described, and I agree with you, is exactly what the INFJ is about: constantly zooming in and out instead of focusing on one pixel where they would feel unnecessarily trapped. Because these shifts come naturally, they often appear not to fit into any tribe, but as you know, they also have a reputation for confronting and making themselves fit however they see fit. As you noticed: “execute the small talk, come to the point, behind the point, behind the point already,” yes, that is their processing.
“I seem to fit for a time, until I don’t, then I realise I never really did fit to begin with.”
You always fit, but you also move a lot. It’s like the puzzle pieces change shape as the puzzle picture itself changes, and this requires you to remain fluid and allow many variables to fit in. The tribe may be completely off in their structure, so don’t be fooled by the masses, sis. You fit and you don’t because you have a strong inner compass and a fluid perception, able to stand in others’ shoes and shift perspectives.
People often assume: “If you’re so good at standing in my shoes, then you should feel my wounds as I do.” But that serves no purpose except keeping the focus on the pixel. Focusing on details, yes, but only in order to collect them all and see the full picture in high resolution.
Hi Jordy,
I thought about your view on ‘fitting’. Thank you, I found it helpful.
I listened to one of the Diary of a CEO podcasts today. Steven was interviewing Tristan Harris, a highly intelligent Google insider and AI expert. Interestingly, my view is that he is demonstrably an empath and almost certainly an INFJ. You can see his thoughts reaching forward and out with him struggling to narrow his focus to provide more succinct and understandable responses.
Tristan was asked, “ What do you think the CEO’s of these AI companies are motivated by?” My analysis in brackets.
“It’s almost mythological. (Legacy.) Build a God, (omnipotence, Stimulation, Control, legacy) own the world economy, (Control, dominance, Stimulation, Accumulation) and make trillions of dollars. (Accumulation, self focus.)
Tristan explained that a close friend of his had interviewed these top tech people at the AI companies. When they are really grilled about their motivation for racing towards AGI, their responses centre around three themes:
1. Determinism.
2. The inevitable replacement of biological life with digital life.
3. Point 2 being a good thing anyway.
Tristan believes that at its core,”there is an emotional desire to meet and speak to the most intelligent entity ever (grandiosity) and they have some ego religious intuition that they will somehow be a part of it. It’s thrilling to start an exciting fire. They feel they’ll die either way so they prefer to light it and see what happens.” (Control, Stimulation.)
“Some also believe that if they get it right they could live for ever. (Control.) So there’s this kind of “I could become a God.” ( Grandiosity, power, dominance, Control, Stimulation, Accumulation.)
One of the co founders of one of the most powerful AI companies (I got the feeling this was Sam Altman) was questioned about the risks of AGI and when faced with the proposition that there might be a 20% chance that everyone gets wiped out but an 80% chance of Utopia, his response was, “Well I would clearly accelerate and go for the Utopia.” (Lack of fear, self focus, Control, Stimulation.)
Even in the worst case scenario where AI is not aligned with humans and is not controllable, the concerning view of these CEO’s is based around the idea that with the race to AGI, if their AI destroys the world then in that scenario at least it was them that birthed the digital God that replaced all of humanity. If they didn’t do it, if their AI wasn’t the winner that destroys us all, then it would be another AI from the other team. (So even in the worst case scenario, grandiosity, dominance, ego, legacy, Control and Stimulation win out.)
Meanwhile, the rest of us mere mortals remain distracted, divided and looking in the wrong direction.
I can’t see how these views are anything other than primarily psychopathic. Clearly there is an absence of fear and an obsession with power and dominance. Control, Stimulation and the potential for Accumulation are key drivers, as is Legacy.
Other than Musk being a Greater Narcissist, we don’t know what these players are. To me, listening to this interview, our existential fate is currently in the hands of psychopaths and a few narcissists. Politics is one thing, AI is quite another.
On a more positive note. The group most susceptible to AI psychosis? Narcissists. So at least there’s that.
I think you would find that interview interesting Jordy.
Xx
Thank you, TS! I will definitely check that episode out, I’m super curious now!
I recently watched an episode with Jill Bolte Taylor. Please do check it out as well if you have time and haven’t watched it. There’s very interesting information in it regarding perception, the brain, empathy, and her own experience of a stroke, it’s mind-boggling. She’s lovely wild though, I don’t know… she made me turn the volume slightly down. Spoiler: emotional overload. She could be a majority geyser.
TS, just finished watching the episode! I agree with you about Tristan and your analysis!
Tristan’s appeal for “good” AI and AGI is aimed at empathic people. Understandably, he does not take the differing drivers and motivations of the various classifications into account. He needs the additional info.
Those who seek technological progress have already placed technology on a pedestal. The higher up, the harder the landing. One EMP pulse and we are back to carriages. The Amish are prepared; the person in the Tesla is not. That feels a bit too pessimistic. I really hope it won’t come to that; it would be unnecessary, in my opinion. But then again, since when do they listen to me?
Complete tech dependency is society’s Achilles heel. So is it worth investing in “good” AI and AGI? For the mentality that deals with toasters instead of humans, they have no other option but to do that. For the empath, such as Tristan, he wants to save everyone, keep the good that technology brings, and eliminate the bad. I understand his INFJ dilemma.
Knowledge about what he is dealing with would help him understand what he may need to drop. And a backup plan, just in case, which will probably become the main plan sooner or later. You cannot control what cannot be controlled. But you can control what can be controlled. The latter is incompatible with the former. It does not have to be. It will trigger some control issues, but hey, tough titty, that’s life, as the Ultra would say.
Hi Jordy,
I agree Tristan seems oblivious to the various classifications. I think what he has witnessed in these AI companies shakes him to the core, but he can’t put a name to the drivers behind the mindsets.
Tristan isn’t the first AI safety specialist to leave an AI company. This tells me these CEO’s pay lip service to safety concerns and regulation because it delays their progress in ‘the race’. This stands to reason if they are psychopathic. The objective is everything and fear for the safety of mankind wouldn’t get a look in.
I laughed at your point about the Amish and being prepared. I have thought similarly. I also pondered where to go to escape an AI future and I decided I need my own island. Then I decided actually I need my own principality.
I agree, complete tech dependency is a very poor plan. I think the problem with AI as it is being developed currently is that it’s difficult to harness the good without risking unleashing the bad. I think Tristan’s point about having different AI for specific fields is slower, safer but I also think it’s more realistic.
Thank you for recommending the Jill Bolte Taylor interview. I actually think that interview is very useful when considering AI.
Here’s how I linked the two, I’d be really interested to know your thoughts.
Humans rule the planet due to their superior intelligence. Our brains have two thinking centres (left and right) and two emotion centres left and right. Right hemisphere is concerned with the here and now and our relationship with our environment. Left hemisphere contains lived experience and is me focussed. We are intelligent because we have all four aspects in play and transferring information.
Turning to AI, it has the thinking centres, including self preservation. It is entirely missing the emotion centres. It is a language learning model. Essentially it predicts the next item in the sequence by analysing past data. That is logical prediction, not thinking, and that will have a limit.
My question would be about innovation. Could AI innovate for itself? Humans have innovated in response to a need. Need is based in emotion in my view. I viewed AI as being wholly logical therefore psychopathic. It isn’t. Even psychopaths have emotions to drive them. As HG has said envy at the neighbours new car drives the narcissist to get a better car or to scratch the neighbour’s car. Emotion drives action, positively or negatively. AI lacks all emotions, so there would be no driver for AI to get out of bed in the morning. It could achieve super intelligence but without emotion it has no drive to use it. No need so no innovation.
I think that AI as it is being developed currently could never stand alone or rule. It would always require a human ‘driver’ or operator.
Could we code emotion into AI? I don’t think so because whilst we understand where emotion sits within the brain we are long way from understanding how it forms and no machine can replicate how it FEELS. The best AI can hope for is to understand emotion cognitively but I do not believe a machine will ever feel emotion.
You cannot teach a psychopath how to feel compassion, and he is a living breathing biological organism. So how do we expect to teach a machine compassion or even anger? AI needs the four sections of the brain to be fully aware, innovative and sentient. It has only two.
My view is that a super intelligence requires emotion to stimulate action. Pump AI with training data to your heart’s content and the closest you’ll get is cognitive empathy with no felt emotion at all.
Now that really would be funny. Imagine all those racing psychopaths tripped up by the very last hurdle, the one missing piece : emotion.
They might be forced to take the slower less damaging route after all.
Xx
TS, absolutely! AI and psychopaths have similarities. AI has no genuine feelings; it only displays emotional responses through language or programming. Psychopaths often outwardly show emotions they do not internally feel, in order to achieve goals or meet social expectations. Both appear emotional, without the feelings being authentic.
AI makes decisions based on data and algorithms. Psychopaths often act strategically, plan for the long term, weigh costs and benefits, and are little influenced by emotional attachment. Both can make decisions in a cold and calculated manner.
AI can influence people through language or behaviour without having any intrinsic “motivation”. Psychopaths consciously manipulate others, remaining emotionally detached, in order to achieve their own goals. Both use other people instrumentally, without genuine emotional attachment.
AI processes only data, not emotional nuances. Psychopaths have reduced emotional responses, particularly to fear, guilt, or empathy. Both operate in a somewhat emotionally neutral manner, even if the underlying reason differs.
“My view is that a super intelligence requires emotion”
Agreed! AI however and probably most psychopaths would disagree with us though. We’re resources, objects, stimuli, servants and that’s our only purpose in their existence.
(Most) Psychopaths believe they are superior because they see their lack of fear, guilt, and emotional attachment as a strength, something that makes them more rational, efficient, and “above” ordinary people. In their view, emotional people are easier to manipulate, more irrational, and sometimes even “primitive” or weak.
This belief doesn’t mean they’re actually superior; it’s simply how many psychopaths interpret their own emotional coldness.
AI has no ego, no feelings, and no personal viewpoint. It cannot judge humans or see emotions as weaknesses. Any text that sounds judgmental from an AI is just pattern output, not an actual belief.
And this pattern may tell you that superintelligent AI can exist without emotions. It explains that emotions are a biological solution, not a requirement for intelligence, and will certainly lead long discussions proving its point.
Meanwhile, I would rather hang out with the Amish and people who can feel emotions and connect with the magnificence of the living nature around them, it being an example of super intelligence, on which resources AI was built and now may “think” or pattern out that it is about to exceed its creator. So biblical, lol.
! Book of Enoch: A group of angels called the Watchers descend to earth. They teach humans forbidden knowledge (weapons, magic, cosmetics, astronomy). They interbreed with human women, producing the violent Nephilim. Their intention is sometimes interpreted as “improving” or “advancing” humanity, though the results are disastrous.
Replace Nephilim with Narcissists.
They always claim to be divine. There you have it.
Hi Jordyguin,
Are you saying that your self-centred likes and dislikes when it comes to things like your favourite films; your condescending views on religion; and your pretentious notions about ‘symbolism’ are more important than an actual, practical measure that can “change the trajectory”?
I want to be clear about what you have said.
From your earlier comments, it seemed you want “change.” You have mentioned “changing the trajectory” and moving away from being self-centred. You have said that you want people to consider “applying what they have learned” rather than discussing “observations” over and over again.
Now, after I have commented on a possible practical and concrete “change,” your response is to smear and scoff.
You want to go back to reinforcing the same illusionary “symbolism” and dogma.
It seems to me that you don’t actually want change. Instead, you want to circle your wagons in an ever-tightening loop in defence of some illusory “win” that only exists in your imagination.
Well that peace was short lived.
Wisernow:
I have taken the steps as I must to defend who I see as my God, my creator. For me, I am nothing without him and everything with him. I adore Jordy but we But we have a difference in opinion on religion. Now….politics or narcissism etc…????.its just a voice. An opinion. Like a}#s holes we all have them. We need to respect our unique voices no matter how we disagree. The FIRST amendment of the constitution was just that… to give freedom to our voices. OK maybe hate speech and d pornography was not in mind. Both you and Jordy have unique educated voices! Let them hurl on this blog without interruption. You know how;) hugs
Hi again Jordyguin,
“I genuinely wish you progress in your personal situations.”
Thank you.
Aww, how lovely, peace has broken out.
Hello HG,
The ‘peace’ is actually a lasting one.
I appreciate Jordyguin saying he wishes me personal progress. These are the words in his comment I will focus on.
For Josi and WN:
I’m a female, born female, I love being female, and I will remain female. Polarity exists in both sexes, so when I’m in a more masculine polarity (not bisexual, just mentally more masculine at times), some women may interpret my writing as coming from a man. Nope. I think you both simply recognize your own masculine part or perhaps traits you would like to see in a man and then project, assuming that I’m male.
💡lol, from war to peace outbreak: an absolute duration: 5 hours 57 minutes ⚫️-⚪️
For Jordyguin,
Well, well … the lady doth protest too much, methinks … 😉
Simply agreeing with HG’s observation about your behaviour and pointing out how, for you, shifting from black-to-white thinking takes exactly 5 hours and 57 minutes. How “peace was short lived” and how “peace has broken out,” by way of a malign and then a benign hoover from you. How you then issue a denial: “The peace is actually a lasting one,” and “These are the words in his comment I will focus on.”
And then how you immediately contradict yourself, latch onto Leigh’s comment, and slip straight back into malign-hoover tactics. The evidence speaks for itself. You do not focus on peace as you claim; you focus on the assertion of control in the now, WiserNow.
Hello Jordy:
I am reading Homo Sapiens. It’s interesting your theory that narcissism began ant the begging of mankind…. I anm not sure that is true …. if it began in prehistoric man. From what I can tell it wasn’t the most aggressive early homo sapien who became leader. It was the BIGGEST. Now perhaps short term mating… narcs might have played a role. ???? Now not in Flores. The big ones died first as they needed food and the little ones survived. Homofloresis. Dwarves. But they died out. Neanderthals died out …Denovisans too vanished … and others…. but interesting the Neanderthals blended. 1-4% Europeans have Neanderthal DNA. Peacefully blended? It is believed at some point that genetic mutations occurred that changed the brains of Homo sapiens and with it came language. A brain explosion of sorts. And the ability to talk about things that do not exist. It’s not “ look there is a lion !” But later “ the lion is the guardian spirit of our tribe.” And unlike the other animals, humans could work with strangers not limited to a small pack. Early foragers were not monogamous I have read. Women had sex with whoever and the tribe raised the children together. So I personally don’t think narcissism was innate from day one. ???? . Be a fun study…. Evolutionary psychology focused on early narcissism? I rather think it began much farther down the path during more complex socialization. When personality was more developed. It’s a personality “ disorder” with genetic components but not like autism or schizophrenia or bipolar which is genetic to the same extent that deafness, IQ, dwarfism, progenies, etc… are. Psychopathy is also genetic but it’s been demonstrated that an unstable early environment can worsen it considerably. I imagine that the genetics existed day one with children with disabilities but how the prehistoric parents handled it, my guess that the babies were not allowed to survive. ??? I see a more complex society needed for narcissism then the beginnings of mankind. And if it is not entirely innate or wholly genetic, it’s interesting when it began. Then again what was the age span of early man…. 25? And why is narcissism growing today….it was literally a dog eat dog or man eat boar world or die ….at the origination stage of mankind where the physical strength was the most necessary to survive. Now you can work on a computer and order door dash. Interesting to consider…. But if you can’t change it…. ? If you can’t change it … balance it. Someone suggested why not vote out the stupid 500,000, I think Allison. Good point but who will take their place? No I think it is an individual duty to be the change you want to see in the world. And to me, it starts with kindness. That’s not a weakness. It’s a profound strength and it is marketable too. I had a woman call me with a new case and as I was talking to this wealthy woman, she said she said she could feel my warmth and care and she has never found that in a lawyer. I asked for 5000 retainer. She said I will give you 10 or 20! I refused. Not a proper retainer for her type of case. But I have a huge amount of support in my life. Huge. And it is I think because I give without expectation of receiving but man…. , they let me know in return they are there for me. Very blessed. And our media focuses on atrocities but every day there are communities of people helping each other, loving each other…. Just go to any school and see the volunteers, the dads who coach the teams, the bake sales, all about our youth. And it’s community, kindness, compassion and love that will save this world. And we have the power to do it! Swords up empaths!
Wisernow:
Your analysis of narcs in society were brilliant! But I feel you left out psychopaths, empaths and normals…. Why did Rome fall? Why didn’t Hitler succeed? Why is Christianity still the top religion in the world with all those empath tenets? There is an ongoing balance, the pendulum swings in history. And it goes on….everyday a narc or psychopath commits a wrong, everyday another prisoner is stuffed in a cell, everyday a life is taken, everyday a life is saved. Why? Is it good v evil? Is it mental illness v mentally well? Is it DNA to repeat itself? Is it that don’t help our young? I don’t know. I only know the role I must play. Empathy at all costs
Hey Jordy:
This is a blog. So people will have different opinions on narcissism and that enters family, personal experience,and… politics … it’s educational and fun and every voice matters including yours. I love being educated and seeing differences of opinion as it helps me form my own. HG has changed my life but have voices on this blog:)
Contagious,
I’ll address your comment to me from the “Erika Kirk: The Interview” thread, as well as this one.
In fact, there are many things that go wrong with what you’ve pointed out in relation to the principles Jesus spoke of if they are followed in the absence of critical thinking, which HG teaches us to apply and which would balance the emotionally tunnelled view.
I wrote about religious organisations and the dependency they have established in populations to always look up to a higher being who will lead them along the right path, which is a childlike dynamic with a parent: a child who is not supposed to develop critical thinking on their own or question what the higher power demands, failing to differentiate and thereby causing more harm than good.
The US is a very young country, with a barely established identity. Simply because it is a melting pot of many other identities and cultures, its collective identity is all over the place. It also stands on the ruins of a wiped-out identity of a predecessor who was deeply rooted in nature but also had quite predatory tendencies at some point.
A very old collective consciousness clashes with a very young one, which, by virtue of being young, looks far more often to a father figure found in religious movements to build identity. If you will, the “lack of control environment” for a young nation is there; and whilst the US has this drive to adopt and implement changes fast (which is good), it can also cause a lot of damage when failing to differentiate between the changes that truly need to be made, like a child who has not yet developed critical thinking.
The US is like a teenager: it may grow into an adult, or it may remain stuck in NPD and ASPD modes, demanding the world bend to its tantrums.
The identities of other countries are also being targeted for erasure through the dislocation of cultural collectives, which are moved back and forth across the map. The roots of people are being cut. In narcissistic dynamics, when the roots are slowly severed, the victim isolated and an alternative reality established, that is when the puppet is easiest to control.
Religion, of course, provides a sense of identity. So when I see, for instance, people like Charlie Kirk – who was a very interesting and intelligent individual – I also see how he has tried to evoke a sense of identity within the American collective through religion and positive principles. However, the principle of religion for a collective consciousness contains a major flaw at its centre: the idea of original sin:
All humans inherit a flaw and are born with a damaged nature. This condition separates humanity from God, requiring divine grace for salvation.
Jesus, however, tried to rewrite the programming. He challenged the old framework of sin, guilt, and punishment, offering instead a new model: “The Kingdom of God is within you.”
Jesus wasn’t trying to atone for sin, but to end the very concept of inherited sin.
But it went wrong with the shift toward sacrifice. The Church, especially through Paul and later theologians, framed his crucifixion as a sacrificial act: “Christ died for our sins.”
This reframed the message: instead of healing the flaw, theology emphasized paying for the flaw. As a result, the system of sin and guilt remained intact, with salvation offered through belief in Christ’s sacrifice rather than through inner transformation alone.
One cannot build a healthy identity, and later an independent, insightful individual or country, if one implants the idea of the original sin into the unconscious mind. It will one day break loose and take destructive steps to fight against the lie. See the narcissist who was denied a self and now has to subjugate the selves of others, who in turn are receptive to the idea of sacrifice and dragging the cross for a higher purpose, making suffering part of their faith – part of their identity, their relationships, their culture. It has even moved onto the level of genetic predisposition. It is a long programming of not just culture and identity, but also genes.
It is one thing to feel and experience the Creation one is part of, and quite another to believe one is a mistake within it.
Hello Jordy:
I agree USA is younger than most compared to other countries and a melting pot. But if you look at our founding fathers who signed the Declaration of Independence, they or their parents or grandparents came from the UK although one was of French ancestry and another from another country.
And I agree Christ died for our sins. Most not all Christians believe “ works” are not needed only Faith BUT Faith comes with Christian values…. Or the moral and ethical principles rooted in the teachings of Jesus Christ, centered on love, compassion, humility, honesty, forgiveness, and justice. They guide how Christians live, interact with others, and honor God. Such as:
1. Love: The central commandment — love God and love your neighbor (Matthew 22:37–39).
2. Compassion: Showing empathy and care for the suffering and marginalized.
3. Humility: Living without pride or arrogance, recognizing dependence on God.
4. Integrity: Being honest and trustworthy in all actions
5. Justice: Seeking fairness and righteousness in society
6. Forgiveness: Letting go of resentment and extending grace to others
7. Generosity: Sharing time, resources, and talents with those in need.
8. Kindness: Treating all with gentleness and respect.
Christian values are drawn directly from Scripture:
• The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3–12) emphasize humility, mercy, and peacemaking.
• Paul’s writings highlight virtues like faith, hope, and love (1 Corinthians 13:13).
• Jesus’ teachings stress forgiveness, service, and sacrificial love (John 13:34).
Is this not empathy?
• Choosing honesty over deceit in business or personal relationships.
• Practicing forgiveness instead of retaliation.
• Serving others selflessly, whether through charity, volunteering, or simple acts of kindness.
• Standing up for justice and fairness, especially for the vulnerable.
Is this not empathy? Which one of these creeds or tenets do you find wrong in theory?
Christian values aren’t just abstract ideals — they are practical guides for living a Christ-centered life. They help believers reflect the character of Jesus, build stronger communities, and foster peace and reconciliation in a divided world.
While I see some people in organized religions abusing and not following Jesus words, I am a believer in Jesus and what he taught and I don’t think my age or my countries age effects that.
By the way many atheists believe Christianity’s values are not such a bad thing for this world….
But that’s my belief. I respect others in their chosen belief. I am not one to Criticize others path in life even if I am absolute in my conviction.
Contagious, I do not disagree with the values Christ emphasised; I am just missing the parts where it says:
-apply critical thinking
-do not believe what you see; it may be only a mask
“And I agree Christ died for our sins.”
Agree with whom? With religious institutions that frame it this way to serve a purpose of control and to shift responsibility. It is a barbaric idea that one man, God’s most advanced child, needed to die for the sins of billions. It is hardcore magical thinking, and a very grandiose belief people hold about themselves when they accept this so easily.
Messengers of Christ’s nature throughout history were killed for the message they sought to deliver, trying to free you from the idea of original sin itself. But the “lovers” of Christ were so successfully brainwashed that they perverted his entire message…
And don’t forget Dolly! I am seeing her show Threads tonight. She is an example of a good American Christian:) And an empath extraordinaire!
Love is like a Butterfly 🦋
There’s only one Threads worth seeing.
But Jordy… hugs! I respect you and value your opinion even if we disagree!
The idea that the pre-European populations in America were deeply rooted in nature is part of the Noble Savage trope. So is the (relatively recent) idea of pan-Indian identity. There was no “very old collective consciousness.”
Hi Allison,
Where people are deeply rooted in nature, they do not leave footprints behind except an intact environment for their offspring to continue the journey of individual and collective consciousness. But when these roots begin to be cut, the population leaves behind a rigid, chiseled-in-stone mismatch with their natural surroundings – a trace that the next generation must clean up, restoring nature to its original state once again.
I’ve been to your country four times now, and each time it felt almost like coming home. It has an incredibly loving and calm energy for me. Whether it is the ancestors of the land or new cultures searching for connection, where nature is recognised as home, it gives an identity that transcends man-made, illusory conflicts and wars over land that people, when fighting with one another, forget to cherish, respect, or love.
Is nature in its original state free of conflict? Were those “rooted in nature” ancestors of my land (and I do claim it as mine) free of war?
Also– the earliest human ancestors left their footprints at Olduvai Gorge. Yes, I’m being pedantic.
I must be forceful against such a Thomas Kincade version of my land. The Indians were and are just people. This view of the mystic, wise, spiritual Indian Time that was ruined by the unnatural white man must be quashed.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I understand that nature can be brutal if one doesn’t know how to integrate into it. But conflicted? I’m not sure I follow – how is nature conflicted?
“of my land (and I do claim it as mine)”
Does it know it’s yours? How would you let it know?
“Were those ‘rooted in nature’ ancestors of my land free of war?”
Probably not, once conflict became part of normality. I’ve always wondered what they were truly fighting over? Especially if abundance was everywhere when the “civilised” man arrived and claimed it as his.
Hello Jordy:
I have felt that there is a top tier in every society 2% or so that owns most of the corporate wealth and land and it is growing. They often avoid taxes take Trump who paid 700$ in federal taxes as he was forced to reveal but those who love him said… well the system lets him. In the USA, they own 70-75 percent of corporate wealth and 50-60% of the land …. So almost everything you buy goes to them and a lot of rent then they buy Politicians who profit in office like Trump who got 3 billion in stock from google. I have a list of Trumps donors starting with Musk at 250,000 million. But I have a list for Biden too. It’s both sides. If you don’t believe me, look up your own country now and see how much corporate wealth and land is owned by 2-10%. Reagan taxed them at 75%, it is down to 23% or so. Warren Buffet said his secretary paid more than him in taxes. So the middle class is under attack. It’s called inflation or the cost of living. Every bill is up. Electric bills rose in part to AI and the cost of data centers ( look up tokens). The masses pay for the government services, including the poor, but the government doesn’t work for the masses. There is no democracy, there is no political party (real runners not the Green Party or some fringe) to choose from. But that is now, history shows the pendulum swings and with the natural disasters which are very democratic, a younger generation who has been oppressed might rise up and change things. Why do those on top fire jobs while hoard money and demonetize the system, there seems to be never enough. Will it continue to where the Western world looks like a third world country, rich v poor, no middle class. Right now there isn’t much choice. Right or wrong, we shall see if anything changes in NYC. I have seen no change my entire life. I am cynical but hopeful that the younger generation will put people in power that care about the people who elected them and not engage in the current stance that in the USA most engage. They say one in three CEOs are psychopaths… I read that somewhere. It would not surprise me given their greed. But I also believe life is short and eternity is long….
And??? How does this information relate to the blog’s teachings??? This long reply is the venting of an ordinary pub visitor I can listen to outside. What is the purpose of it here??? It’s empty of deeper knowledge and connections in relation to the huge amount of information you and others have engaged in over the years and thus pointless to be brought up here in this manner.
Contagious, I’ve already addressed specific readers in relation to their patterns of engagement. I’m in the mood for revelations, so you’re next, regardless of whether it will change anything or not. You’re my dreaming buddy, but I will tell you as it is, because others are afraid to not come across as empaths should they do it, whereas I obviously don’t care. It may be tough, but you need to hear this.
Are you sure you care about fellow readers and HG understanding your perspective, questions, and struggles, or are you coming here to lay a pile of loose ends they have to spend hours deciphering? It’s rare that you try to structure your responses, not even putting paragraphs and spacing in so many instances. Where is the emotional or cognitive empathy for your fellow readers when you write novels as one big thought, repeating the same things over and over again, ignoring the answers HG has already provided to you?
They did not stick for some reason, okay, so you repeat. But at least, out of empathy for others and transcendence of the self-absorption in those moments, try to make your replies readable and bring some structure to the written chaos you regularly engage in. It’s the least respect and empathy you can show in that way.
If you’re in a hurry and don’t have time, then postpone writing a reply until you have time or a moment of leisure. Otherwise, it looks like you’re only here to get the stuff off your chest – dumping – not because you want to have a conversation. And the art of “listening” while reading is another thing, but okay, not all at once.
Hi Jordy:
Blog writing is succinct. I won’t do a legal brief. Blog writing is different to other writings that I do. I am imperfect. Agreed.
Isn’t it obvious Jordy? Empathy is about helping others, forging strong communities and taking care of the less fortunate. Do I need to spell it out that I think free buses, free daycare for working mothers and affordable housing is empathy in politics. How many untaxable billionaires goes to the hoarding of wealth that demonetizes society and may be steeped with narcissism or psychopathy as it does no one else good on planet Earth or any good or the environment. That’s my blog input on politics. It adheres to HGs teachings on what empathy is and what narcissism and psychopathy is. It’s about caring for others or not.
And unlike in real life in person conversations, it’s hard to tell whether the others are bored, disinterested or engaged. If someone does not respond or like, I get I might have been not well receipted. Perhaps my views are irrelevant. Some are irrelevant to me. Welcome to a blog. I often get positive feedback but not always. As your reply was not nice although I do respect you Jordy. Dream buddy ( off topic lol) That’s blog life. You can read, engage, enjoy, agree or disagree. I often read others comments and whether I agree or disagree, I respect my community. I don’t insult anyone. I leave it up to HG to moderate as HG is quite capable of doing so. It would be arrogant of me to tell him what to do so in that regard, yes I respect his community. It’s his blog not mine and I am just one member of his community. I suggest if I bore you or my writing is not up to par to your standards, simply press the down button. That’s what bloggers do:) It’s pretty self explanatory in the blog world.
My ex a middle lesser would get so emotional and in fights with people on blogs … as if there opinions were personal affronts to him. As a narc, he needed like minded people in his orbit or RAGE consumed him. Me? I don’t care. My hope is to convey a message usually on the topic of empathy but if I miss my mark, or I disagree with someone, it’s not personal. I respect any opinion. It’s a blog after all. I am not HG. It’s not my blog. So while in his house, I will treat his guests with respect even if I agree to disagree.
“Blog writing is succinct.” That must surely rank as one of the funniest jokes I’ve ever heard.
One last thing:
How do you think attacking others opens a better discourse? It’s one thing to disregard. Move on. The reply was boring or irrelevant to you but it’s another to attack.
I grew up in a household where politics and current affairs were widely discussed. No one told another “ you are dumb, I am smarter.” “ Your opinion is worthless.” There was empathy and respect. One at our table was a Harvard Lawyer. No one said “ I am more educated than you. I am richer than you therefore my opinion is more important.”
Empathy would not allow it. Empathy. Respect for one and another. Open discourse. Did you have that growing up? Were people verbally abusive and invalidating to you? If so, awful.
Verbal abuse is telling someone they are less than you, they are irrelevant, they aren’t as smart as you, they are inferior to you. Whereas agreeing to disagree opens up conversation with respect.
Who decides that a voice is worthless? Not my God, the Creator of all life….
A narcissist does…. who thinks they are superior to others. Who enjoys putting others down to make themselves feel better because actually they don’t deep down inside. They don’t have that strength of the real self. I respect everyone here including you. It’s a blog that’s filled with individual voices like the world. Let’s embrace all voices with respect. If we don’t like it, well… it’s a blog, scroll down to the next:)
Here are some powerful sayings about the importance of individual voices:
1. They remind us that every person’s voice carries meaning, influence, and
2. “When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful.” – Malala Yousafzai Wise Sayings
3 “Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions… Make statements, with your actions and your voice.” – Tina Fey Bookroo
4. “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice.” – T.S. Eliott
5. If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Goth.
Why does validating a voice matter:
1. Empowerment: A single voice can challenge silence and injustice.
2. Authenticity: Listening to your inner voice helps you stay true to yourself.
3. Influence: Tone and delivery can shape how your message is received.
4. Love & Connection: Voices carry emotion, intimacy, and human warmth.
l5. Creativity: Overcoming inner doubt.
Individual voices are not just about sound—they symbolize identity, courage, and influence. Whether it’s Malala speaking against oppression, these sayings highlight how voices shape history, art, etc…
In the end Jordy it’s about love. Respect is a form of love. Choose love. Choose respect. You have to ask yourself: Do I want to be right all of the time or do I want to respect and love another who I disagree with. Who decides who is right or wrong after all?
It’s a simple choice. One answer is empathy.
Hello Contagious,
Please advise, why if you have a burning question to HG, instead of putting it under “Question me” thread, as eveyone else does here, you are posting it as a reply to someone, under absolutely irrelevant to your question topic?
Is it so difficult to navigate in the blog? You know there is an empty box under an article, where you can put your text and click blue button “comment”. “Reply” button is not the only option available to the blog readers.
Btw, Vincent Van Gogh committed suicide, maybe he should have listened to the voice and just relax.
Arya: Good point. Thank you for your assistance. I Iove Van Gogh one of my favorites. Happy holidays!
But don’t you just love the beauty and hope in his works Ayra? This bipolar alcoholic had such a way of seeing this world? I see gentleness,inspiration, isolation, longing and love whether an Iris or a moon. A huge fan! But yes, I get your message to relax:) x
Hello Contagious,
I’ve been to his museum in Amsterdam. I’m not an art expert, but I did not see any hope in his paintings. All these multiple versions of sunflowers, to me looked more as a desperation attempt to reach some sort of perfection. Those bright colors hide pain, that’s what I felt by looking at them.
I might be wrong, though art is not a science, there is no right answer. Everyone finds something for themselves in art. Some paintings trigger me, some don’t. Overall, he is not my favorite painter. I like The Starry Night though. Not because of Sherlock Holmes, I just love to look at the stars, night sky.
As I recall, at this museum, or maybe it was somewhere else, there is a big dark room, where this painting is projected on the wall, moving and calming music is playing at the background. Feels really cool, actually. You can seat/lay down on the floor or pouf chair and just relax, watching it.
I don’t remember if he was bipolar or not, but for sure not mentally healthy. Cutting your own ear is not a common act normal, happy, inspiring people are regularly engaged.
Arya- I’ve never had a box available to ask a question under the Question Me thread. Under articles there’s always a box to write in but for me there is not one under Question Me. There are options to reply though. I don’t know if some other people aren’t getting a box to type in so they are typing under replies instead, or what, but that’s why I never ask questions. I can’t.
On another note: It’s snowing on narcsite! 😃
Hi Violet fire, i notice that the reply box sometimes disappears on the questioning me thread. I usually get it after refreshing the page.
Love the snow ❄️❄️❄️
Arya: Happy holidays! I love Dali! Love him! I am a painter and especially love unique expressions. I am sometimes the annoying fan who takes a photo in a museum although I am not sure why as I own many art books. And paintings of course copies. I don’t see what the choice of art has to do with narcissism. HG indicates it’s neutral. To each his own I say! Oh and in my belief system there is and was only one perfect man:) definitely not me!
https://www.google.com/search?q=vincent+van+gogh+inspirational+quotes&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari
These are his quotes. About doing painting from his heart, about how a series of failure can lead to success, etc… as to starry night, he found the night more beautiful to the day. I am uneducated, I am just a fan who went to his “ experience” expo in Hyde park and own many books. Yes he had illness but his paintings to me are inspiring. Was he an empath? No idea but regardless of his personality I love his work and find him inspiring.actually in Awe. Xxxx
Hi Jade. Thanks for the tip. Refreshing doesn’t work for me because I’m pretty sure I’m not approved to ask questions. It makes sense since I’m new to the blog.
Nobody needs approval to ask questions. Anybody can ask. Whether you will receive an answer depends on a variety of factors explained in the rules.
Violetfire,
For any article, the box is below the article, above the comments. For “Question me” thread, vent your spleen box is below (not above) all the comments. You have to just scroll down for a few seconds to see it.
I’m newish too VioletFire.. I do notice it’s buried a bit at the bottom and can disappear at times but as HG says, we all can.
HG- I can’t ask questions if there’s no top level comment box to post them in. And there never has been one for me. Not under question me. Only under articles. Thanks.
Hello Contagious,
The quotes of famous people …a perfect tool for a triangulation. So many of them to choose from. About success, failures, achievements, follow your dream, hear your voice, fall and rise again, strive, strive, strive ..
Don’t stop, push it , push it, push it…
Have you noticed, there are not many quotes which would say something like : “fuck everyone, just relax and do nothing, no need to prove anything to anyone, you are perfect as you are”. Why is that? Maybe because many famous people were narcissists, achievers, they cannot stop, cause they cannot be ever satisfied, they need more and more, jump higher and higher..
Anyway, I digress, if Vincent Van Gogh is your favorite painter and you find him inspiring, that is great. I’m not looking particularly for inspiration in paintings, I just feel some emotions or not. It might be any emotions. From negative to positive, triggering – that is what matters to me. Many love Salvador Dali. I have been to his house, gallery in Barcelona. I agree his painting make you stand and admire his skill to play the illusion, all these twisting of objects, Gala. It’s very interesting, but his work don’t trigger me for some reason. Idk, why, but me, personally, don’t feel anything while looking at them, except for interesting colors and composition. Its like a puzzle to solve. So it’s all very subjective what people feel about art.
Aside from art, what I really find irritating is visitors at those galleries who take pictures, numerous pictures, thousands of selfies in front of famous paintings. I couldn’t come to Mona Lisa closer than 3 meters, in Louvre, cause people put their phones high up and just click, click, click. Why???? Can’t you just download it from internet ?? I don’t get it.
On the subject of quotes, Arya and Contagious.. I agree. A lot of platitudes at times but I do like this one
“Always be yourself, unless your a twat”
*You´re
Hi Violetfire,
If there is no ‘Reply’ button in the spot you would like to place your comment, all you need to do is scroll upwards until you see the first ‘Reply’ button.
HG will moderate so that your comment ends up in the right place.
If you include the name of the person you’re addressing, it helps HG while moderating.
Hi Arja,
Tourists and their selfies … 🙄
It drives me nuts. When you’re trying to look at an iconic structure or painting or whatever it is and you want to take in the whole scene and then there’s someone with a selfie stick in front of you.
Seriously, it makes me want to grab their selfie stick and use it to whack them out of the way or wrap it around their head.
I know what you mean about the Mona Lisa. If you’re there in front of the painting itself, just look at it and let the real vision of it have an affect on you.
Your comment reminds me of when I was in Rome and went to see the Trevi Fountain. This famous fountain dates back to the 18th Century. It is a significant artistic monument in the city and is featured in films like ‘Roman Holiday’ and ‘La Dolce Vita.’
I wanted to savour the sight of the Trevi Fountain and its location. I was ready to throw a coin in it too, in line with tradition.
Instead, it was a case of being moved along involuntarily with a crowd of other tourists about four or five people deep. I could only catch momentary glimpses of the fountain over mobile phones and between selfie sticks.
It was disappointing to say the least. If I was to travel to Rome again, I would make a point of seeing the Trevi Fountain very late at night or early in the morning when there were the least number of tourists.
Lol, sorry HG re you’re /your 😊
Hello WiserNow,
Exactly, I’m with you about selfie stick. I have never owned one. And I recall, both of my husbands did take a selfie stick from a few unlucky tourists)) they had a wild look at their faces first and then started to argue with them to have it back. Sometimes in language we didn’t understand. After about 5 mins of verbal fight, they returned (both stick and phone). Though once my 1st husband did take it and break it. A guy was in shock, my husband just smiled looking straight to his face.. He went for security or someone with his gf, but we disappeared in the crowd.
Trevi Fountain – I saw it in Las Vegas, much easier access)) I have never been to Rome, we planned in 2020, but then covid hit. My daughter turns 18 next year, I asked what present she prefers. She wants to go to Rome with me, just two of us. So that’s our plan. Need to do Shengen visa for us. Takes time.
Those two movies are great. Especially, La Dolce Vita. Fellini was so out of his time. Ahead of time.
Hi Arya,
That’s actually funny, and shocking as well, that both your husbands went to those lengths. While I think the sticks are annoying, I would never actually do something like that. However, I think more tourists with selfie sticks should have their sticks confiscated and thrown off the nearest bridge.
I didn’t know there was a Trevi Fountain in Las Vegas. That’s hilarious the more I think about it. If the tourists in Rome aren’t your cup of tea, just head to Vegas instead. 🙂
I haven’t been to Vegas. It would be an exciting place to visit. Very different from Italy. I’ve been to Rome once and I really enjoyed it. The historical monuments are amazing, such as the Colosseum and the ancient Roman Forum. I hadn’t seen relics before that dated back that far. The Forum is other-worldly. In some areas, you can see wheel ruts carved into the cobblestones of the roads. The ruts were made by the chariots and carts about 2000 years ago when the Forum was a bustling part of daily life.
If you go to Rome with your daughter, I think you will both enjoy it. If possible, it would be great if you could visit Florence and Venice as well. All three cities are beautiful in their own ways.
Yes, ‘La Dolce Vita’ is a cult classic and considered to be Fellini’s most iconic movie. Considering the time it was made, it was strikingly forward-thinking and very different from the standard Hollywood movies of the time.
Hi Wisernow,
Breaking, taking sticks is not the worst they had done. My 1st husband in particularly could easily punch some guy in the face with no warning sending him into knockout, just because that guy approached me (usually in a bar or club) and in the eyes of my husband he was hitting on me and flirting. And then a real mess could errupt, cause that guy had friends too with him. Though we were quite young, I doubt he behaves like that now.
Las Vegas, I have been several times. You should visit some day. It’s not only about gambling, there are lot of shows there as well. Cirque de Soleil are my favorite ones. Magician Criss Angel show is really something to watch too. We did skydiving also. Many things to do in Vegas and nearby area.
Yes, Rome was on my visit list for quite sometime. I’m excited. I have been to Florence, agree it’s very beautiful city. We actually went to Bologna first with friends to attend Muse concert. Oh, Italians do like and can sing, for sure. It was amazing atmosphere. Need to visit Venice too someday.
Hi HG, Would psychopaths like James Fallon (a researcher who discovered he was a psychopath during research and looking at his own brain scan) also seek the necessary triad, if they’d had didn’t have a LOCE, like James?
A psychopath pursues the Necessary Triad.
Thank you HG.
One thing I’ve often thought since I’ve got here (and since your this “one’s wife and psychopathy” video yesterday) is that narcissists would be a lot less annoying with some psychopathy mixed in. Would that be better or worst for everyone else though?
Well, well. This is a thread of revelations. Explains a lot for those paying attention.
Hi NA,
You’ve piqued my interest. Would you be willing to share your thoughts?
Hi, Leigh–
Thanks for the correction on New York.
Hi HG,
I hope you’re having a good weekend. I’m working my way through your interviews, YTs etc and found your second interview with narc con on Spotify and wanted to thank you again. I notice I always learn something new when listening to you and this particularly validated how I’m dealing with my nmum which I appreciated. I miss your voice if I don’t hear it for a while now, and whilst a few months ago that might have concerned me, lol I realise now I’m being “schooled” in logic. Plus, it’s refreshing to listen to someone intelligent and funny.. and be educated at the same time!
I’m not full no contact in order to keep other familial relationships going but only have text contact with nmum rarely and I only meet her with others around now. She’s got a very good facade which stops her bring too outwardly aggressive and actually though I know she’s always manipulating she is often benign with this, though of course, lack of sensitivity, boundary recognition, gaslighting, guilt and obligation .. do occur. 😄 Leopards don’t change their spots afterall.
I also have appreciated that one sibling in particular has understood my approach despite not “seeing it” and our mum having a good facade and going through bereavement. what you said there made me realise again I’m fortunate for this to be the case. I don’t often feel positive about the situation but what you shared and said helped me to validate the approach I’ve taken and how some others are dealing with it.
Thank you again. 👌 I have a feeling I’ll be saying that repeatedly. 😊
You are welcome.
Hello again, I would like to say thanks for the thoughtful, empathic, supportive messages re: Biscuit Bloke and of course, thanks extended to Mr. Tudor for this forum to discuss his behaviours. Not quite sure where he is at the moment.
On another note of thanks: Mr. Tudor, thank you for recommending Slow Horses recently. I’m on Season 1, Ep. 4 and I am loving it. My old stomping ground, so it strikes an extra chord, seeing the London rain and that long-winded No.4 bus, which I used to catch from Waterloo to N7 : ) I recommend it, Tudorites, if you haven’t seen it. Always with a view to which characters might be narcs, normals, empaths, psychopathic of course! Brilliant casting, characters, pace, all of it great so far. Not one for before bed though – not for me at least. Even the wardrobe is spot-on.
Pleased you’re enjoying an excellent series.
Hope you’re doing ok Mari. 😊 Hopefully biscuit bloke will stay far away.
he wants putting in the sea where the rest of his amoebic kind exist.
apparently he’s still in his house, but the daily reports of nuisance to the coppers have abated. he withdraws, sometimes for months, then emerges being psychotic and weird again. maybe he’s got some medication and calmed down.
i have tried to explain to various visiting police/community officers that he is very likely a narcissist with sociopathic traits, regardless of the ‘mental health issues’ they repeatedly bring up and fixate on. What about my mental health issues? Nobody’s asked about that 😀
one copper readily agreed he’s a narcissist, then called me to say they interviewed him at home and he apologised, agreed he would be scared if someone did that to him and seemed genuinely ‘shocked’ when stalking was broached. this officer said, ‘i’ve been doing this for years and i can’t say 100% but he really seemed genuinely shocked about stalking and said he’s really sorry and didn’t mean to cause you distress. we’re closing the incident now, marianne’.
all very well, i sez, but you do understand he is not sorry, he is lying and he knows he caused distress don’t you? oh yes, says Officer Thing.
UK plods aren’t very bright these days. he was one of the brighter ones.
Mari,
Does Biscuit Bloke have family who come and visit? Could you say something to them?
Hello Leigh, he’s got nobody. It was just him and his woman, they were both isolated and codependent. Even if he had family visiting I wouldn’t engage. If he does have NPD it wouldn’t make a bit of difference would it? Not convinced his family would be much higher up the food chain.
Ugh. It’s sad how these situations are often dealt with Mari 😕 as you said, what about your mental health?! Stay well and I hope he stays away but that the authorities do their jobs too! 🤞🤞🤞
Ta Jade! It wasn’t at its best before he had a tea party in my house, due to other stressors. I can’t say this has done much to improve it, but thankfully I am fairly resilient and find experiences interesting, even if difficult or dramatic. The reason I continued to discuss him here is because I am interested on what’s going on there, in terms of the narcissism plus mental problems. In totality, he really is just a pathetic parasite and worth limited head space. I am just glad he didn’t do worse. He’s given me a boot in the arse in a relatively merciful way. So far!
Mari,
“they interviewed him at home and he apologised, agreed he would be scared if someone did that to him and seemed genuinely ‘shocked’ when stalking was broached. this officer said, ‘i’ve been doing this for years and i can’t say 100% but he really seemed genuinely shocked about stalking and said he’s really sorry and didn’t mean to cause you distress. we’re closing the incident now…”
Sounds like a pretty typical response of someone who is not inclined to dig deeper when they have witnessed what they feel is sincere attrition. I don’t know if Biscuit bloke there is a mid-range narc…but mid-rangers will use this to their advantage time and time again, and it gets them pretty far in life.
Thanks for your message, WhoCares. I’d be surprised if he didn’t have NPD. I suspected some form of lesser + victim, but using fake apology does seem more mid-range. Then again, could it be that he has strong sociopathic traits and could that be attributed to his slipperiness when he wants to win someone over? Obviously none of us can say for sure and I do not have the experience and expertise to know. He’s absolutely on his arse and asking people for food because I guess his woman had managed everything for him (she died a year ago). I wonder if he’s harbouring cold rage/fury at her having the audacity to ‘do one’ and he seems to think he’s entitled to take it out on other women when they won’t feed him, literally and figuratively. I believe he suffers bouts of psychosis too. So even if people kowtow to that part he’ll emerge, eternally a narc. Police couldn’t go further with my case, but are still building a broader case if needs be. I just worry that we’re on borrowed time before he does something worse. He seems to relish the fuel supply from it all though and because he is apparently very pathetic, I’m not sure he could be arsed with being worse. I’m not underestimating him though. Cheers : )
Oops – that should have read *contrition.
Mr. Tudor,
I have been quite captivated by the Erika Kirk videos. They are enlightening.
It would be fascinating for you to juxtapose Diana (magnet empath) and Erika (narc) in their time of greatest distress…where they both have a media spotlight on them. They are distressed by different circumstances and their personalities and Tudor classifications are opposites. I think learning how you, the Ultra, spot the differences would be enormously educational. If there are a few other types of empaths who have had equally prominent moments, I think they would similarly advance our understanding. I would listen to them obsessively.
Thank you for your time. Much appreciated.
Hi again HG, do greaters recognise that there are non aware narcissists?
Yes.
Thank you.
Sorry that should read lower mid ranger HG..
Hi HG,
Would an upper lesser potentially have a larger fuel matrix than a lesser mid ranger?
Thank you 😊
Yes.
Thank you. 🙏
Hi Jade,
Re: Upper lesser narcs vs. Lower midrange narcs – I have a good comparison.
My rl empath friend (who is educated in HG’s work) was previously with an Upper lesser and I escaped a Lower midrange narc.
As a consequence of his work, my friend’s ex definitely has a larger fuel matrix (consisting of family, work and social life.)But it’s mainly because he is a traveling salesman, so he is all over the place. As well, he is more successful (in a work sense) as he can reliably secure a 6 figure salary because he excels at selling – even if he’s moving from workplace to workplace.
Comparatively, my ex has a much smaller fuel matrix and is less successful (fewer familial connections, not many friends – if any now, and limited work relations). He did have a good job at an excellent company for a while (in part because I supported him going back to school, which upon completion, led to that job), but he could never maintain it and now (post-escape) drives for a living.
However, the one thing thing that my ex is better at is using his facade, such that it is, to make third parties believe he is a good dad. He had more follow through on actually doing stuff with his son, at times, and not just saying he would do the things. (Also, he is better at using pity plays, given his midrange component, to get people to side with him. Slimy, yes. But when it works, it works.)
I have found that any success of my ex’s Upper lesser, at convincing others that he’s a “good dad”, was achieved because he can throw money at things relating to the children. And all it takes then is others being suckered in, because, you know, if someone invests money in something or someone that means they care, right?
Thank you WC! I appreciate you laying out those examples (and I’m glad you’ve escaped!). I’m trying to learn about a brother, instinct says upper lesser and what you’ve shared backs that up. He likes going out drinking with his mates and usually has quite a social group despite not having much charm or social skills. I think I made the mistake of thinking that as the narcissists move away from being lessers, towards greaters that various things would be better including the fuel matrix but this makes sense for what I see in him and of course learning more about MMR b’s and the victim mentality would of courseback this up too. Your comment about throwing money at things resonated too (and with my parents too). 👌
Jade – I am glad it was helpful.
Jade,
Another point to add – my friend’s Upper lesser ex has maintained the same lawyer throughout the entirety of their family legal matter, including a lengthy trial. Whereas, my LMRN ex has gone through lawyers like underwear – so, he cannot even maintain that aspect of his fuel matrix.
Ha! Good point WC.. even when he’s paying for it, lol! 🤣
Hi WC,
I was also thinking this example could relate to the mid rangers arrogance? Thinking they’re cleverer than they are, whereas the lesser knows their limits? 🤔 Like this one’s wife…
Hi again WC,
I was thinking more on our conversation and the main reason for learning shielding. I’ve always picked up in others energies too much, often not in a clear way where it particularly helps me. when shopping or in a crowd for example where I’ll just feel frazzled either at the time or afterwards. Not always but often. Where I felt it does help is with my work in mental health, I feel like I pick up on things in a one to one session very well and possibly more than most (hard to measure but it feels like that and most people get a lot from it). With personal relationships I’ve often struggled to work out what’s mine and have often taken too much responsibility before learning about narcissism.
I’ve always felt like I have comparatively low energy compared to others generally and I also developed fibromyalgia (or possibly long COVID) six years ago (around the time I realised about my nmum too 🤔) so low energy is always an issue. I’m a bit of a hermit (with hubby) which helps but as well as keeping narcs out, i know I need to learn more about managing this aspect of myself. Before finding out about contagion empaths via HG, I’d learnt about HSPs and felt a resonance. I feel like the energy’s of other people can quickly sap my own and being an empath I can quickly get hooked into wanting to help others, too much if I don’t watch it.
I just thought I’d explain as it’s becoming clearer. I realised since learning about narcissism that my empathy is a gift but I don’t need to use it like a fire hose, indiscriminately and waste it (on narcs etc) and by turning it on and off in a conscious way, I protect myself and also send my energy where it can truly help/ be effective.
Sorry TS, that should read…
whatever she wants to
Dear Mr Tudor,
“Poking the bear” from NYC is not a wise move.
Now the two narcissists collide.
What say you Mr Tudor ?
Bubbles,
I’m so distraught over this. I don’t live in the city so I couldn’t vote. But I’m in the suburbs so this will still have an effect on me. Its absolutely terrible!
Hi Leigh,
I saw the protest in the streets, on the News! I was wondering how you were doing with all the chaos there? These are crazy times we are dealing with, stay safe! Xx
HI Rebecca,
I’m in the suburbs so when there are protests, they don’t affect me. But actually, I hadn’t heard about any protests. My daughter didn’t mention anything either. I think many of the residents in the city are pleased Mamdani got elected.
Okay–I’m clear now. I’m in the Midwest, but both coasts have me worried.
Hi Leigh,
I’m glad you far enough away from all the chaos and it was good news with the elections. NYC seemed happy about it. Xx
Dear Leigh,
Your residents are in for a shock!
All these listed below all have one thing in common ……
Major of Hamtramck, Michigan
Major of Dearborn
Mayor of Michigan
Major of Richardson, Texas
VP of Minniapolis City Council
Minniapolis Major Candidate
3 x US House of Reps
…that’s for starters !!!! Just like London !!!!
Same Allison. What starts on the coats has a tendency to move inland.
Bubbles, you are well informed. America should be quite concerned but there are those here who are to uneducated, due to our school systems being altered in diabolical ways over the last 50-60 years. And also there are many who follow without investigating. And of course, we have that influx of those who are not citizens who will vote regardless etc. We are in our own could civil war at the moment.
Democracy is not in our Constitution or our bill of rights. We are a Republic, something many who seek to control would like to change. Get rid of our Constitution, or distort it in such a way that it’s meaningless, and you no longer have a Republic with protections for everyone, you have someone very different, Venezuela, Cuba etc.
Hi Rebecca,
Where I am, most people are not happy about Mamdani winning even though the residents in NYC are.
Hi Allison,
I’m worried about both coasts as well.
Now I’m starting to wonder if his Marxism is just the method of delivery for a third attack on the economic heart of the West, on the very engine of our total way of life to usher in Islam. This time we’re the ones committing suicide.
I’m starting to consider that this person may be a “smiling assassin”, an agent to use our suicidal empathy and the guilt the West has about its own success.
I think it’s why Trump, New York, and “the 1%” are used as targets. Nation-level blameshifting. You need symbols.
We’ve been primed. Our universities are little more than narcissistic kindergartens. We’ve made every 50 year old, nominally Christian, straight white male into the devil through every gender studies program. And every department is a gender studies program.
“Male, pale, and stale” is the saying. Anyone who is not all those things is automatically on the moral high ground, no matter how horrible they actually may be. Young, brown foreign men are especially moral. They have no toxic masculinity, apparently. It’s like they’re not men at all.
We’ve swallowed the lie that our entire history is irredeemably evil. It was impressed upon me that slave plantations were capitalist. And I was taken through my entire education without once having learned of the role of the British Royal Navy in ending the transatlantic slave trade.
I, like my entire cohort, was taught that slavery was the vice of the West, particularly of our English progenitors. Therefore, the West was a stain on humanity and by extension America was “stamped from the beginning.” Cue the 1619 Project. Cue “re-imagined” Anne Boleyn. Cue the narcissist race hustle.
Cue the rage to burn it all down.
The road was built, lie by lie and brick by brick, to handing the reins of power in the West to avowed jihadists who will light the torches.
We’ve been collectively gaslit about our heritage. We’ve assented in our ignorance that the US is the “Great Satan”. This has been growing for a long, long time. I think we’re going to be reminded what evil really is.
So many interesting points, Allison. 👌 there’s a gaslighting and rewriting of history and throwing certain demographics under the bus that is startling and insidious.
Hi Leigh,
What’s going to happen from all these promises, is anyone’s guess and so unpredictable it’s frightening to say the least! Xx
Well said Allison, you have a good handle on it. Out of curiosity, how did you learn these things?
To you and Bubbles, once again, apologies for my typos. I am concerned about the coasts*, we are already in our own cold* civil war etc. I should not comment when im in a hurry.
Dear Rebecca,
I know EXACTLY what’s going to happen !!!!
Dearest Leigh,
It is the worst possible scenario lovely. Mamdani is practicing taqiyyah (lying). I watched the whole speech and it came across so threatening, Mr Bubbles and I had shivers down our spine. He’s not even born in America (should be mandatory).
It certainly wasn’t patriotic in the American way and to end with a Bollywood hit song “Dhoom Machale” was a slap in the face to America.
I noticed the voting booths weren’t too fussy with ID’s.
New York will turn into London!
Ps offering free bus rides come with a cost
Hi Bubbles,
I agree the free bus rides come with a cost. He wants free childcare too and city owned supermarkets. He wants to build new housing. That won’t makes me laugh. Where is he gonna put this new housing? The city is already packed like sardines.
Ugh! I know he’s lying. But our young people don’t. That’s how he got voted in.
Dear Leigh,
Nothing’s for free !!!!!! New York was in debt waaaay back because they tried to introduce free buses etc. I understand it took 15 years to get back on track. New York needs a born n bred New Yorker with history to run it!
Young people haven’t got a clue !!!!! They’ve voted for an illusion and have been easily manipulated. I saw reels of young American women rejoicing to the idea of Sharia Law …..are they completely insane ? 9/11 should be a huge reminder!
So many are fleeing NY already.
Mamdani is a Wolf in sheep’s clothing, he hates America.
This is a massive WAKE UP call!
Dear Leigh,
Supermarkets ?
There will be no alcohol, no cigarettes, no gambling and all Halal food.
They are now offended at our Christmas and Easter and want them banned too.
Here in Australia, they are offended at our Aussie Flag, same as the UK flags
Hello Leigh:
I am a Californian but the idea that someone is trying to help the middle class and working class is wonderful to me. He wants to tax the 1% to pay for it. Is a liar? I don’t know. Will he accomplish anything. I have doubts but what if he did? Free buses, affordable housing including rent freezes, childcare for 0-5 so workers can afford to work. Sounds good to me and the 1% paying for it. Now that makes me laugh as to HOW. And don’t forget what happened to JFK and MLK or anyone except FDR who tries….
Dear Bubbles,
Hope you’re well 😊
“Supermarkets ?
There will be no alcohol, no cigarettes, no gambling and all Halal food.
They are now offended at our Christmas and Easter and want them banned too.
Here in Australia, they are offended at our Aussie Flag, same as the UK flags”
Of course there are extreme fringes in any culture / religion but the Muslim friends I know and have known wouldn’t fit what you said here. They like living in the UK , some drank alcohol etc. I think lack of effective and fair immigration controls and political meddling and stirring is often the issue imo. 🤷♀️
Oh just to add Bubbles, and of course narcissism on “either side.” .. well that’s what I meant by politicians I guess 😄
Bubbles,
I agree 100%! Mamdani is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I honestly don’t worry about a religious take over. NYC is a huge melting pot and I don’t doubt that there would be a revolt if he tried.
I worry more about what he’s going to do to the economy. He wants to raise minimum wage to $30 an hour. How are the corporations gong to pay $30 an hour? By charging the consumer more.
Contagious,
Mamdani can’t raise taxes. It has to be done through the governor and the state legislature. That’s why its all a lie. He just blew sunshine up everyone’s ass so he can elected.
But if somehow he managed to increase the taxes of the top 1% and corporations, there’s a huge risk that it will drive them out. Then what?
Bubbles, I just caught (a little behind) that you, or at least parts of Australia, are already experiencing the effects that NYC will be experiencing. I have been aware of the UK. I’m certain that they are not easy to remove once in office, doing whatever they must to retain power. Thank you for voicing what you see. It is more than a little scary but better to know and prepare, in whatever way one can. And better to tell others what to expect should the US allow the spread to continue.
Contagious,
All one must do is look at Venezuela to know how leadership by these turns out. Nothing is free, the 1% will either be stripped of all, possibly including their lives, if that’s what it takes, or will become their pawns. There will be no middle class, only a symbiotic relationship where those with power control every aspect of the lives of those without power. They “need” us to allow them to live as they wish, we needing them to be allowed to live. A deep dive on Communism and also Islam would shock a lot of people, if they can still find the truth.
Dear Contagious,
We have concession cards here in Australia for those on benefits which include eligible students, seniors, and low income earners.
Pensioners are free.
JFK, MLK and FDR sadly, paid dearly. It’s the risk you take being in a prominent position or leader of a country, unfortunately.
This USA government shutdown over child care and the current air traffic chaos is only adding fuel to the fire. It’s horrendous that this is even happening.
“I noticed the voting booths weren’t too fussy with ID’s.”
Correct. That’s a big part of the Democrat scheme, along with open borders. Then get people hooked on (paraphrasing) there being nothing too big or too small for government to fix.
In my opinion, it is that aspect of government dependence that kept black Americans “voting Blue, no matter who” for so long from a party with such a racist imprint. There’s even an updated states’ rights thing happening of the kind which started the Civil War. Now, I fear it will do to the nation at large what it does to black people in particular. And I HATE to think strongly in terms of race.
More and more I’m viewing the narcissism that is prevalent in politics as a feature and not a bug, so much so that it’s not the particular narcissists which matter as much to me as how our goals for the country align.
That’s so true, Allison. In relation to politics, narcissism isn’t a bug, but a feature. I just have to get on board with whichever narcissist I dislike the least.
Allison,
You see it as I do.
Dear Allison,
We are all feeling it and we are all on the same page.
Governments are meant to represent the people’s voice ….knock knock, “is anyone there, is anyone listening ?”
Enough is enough! We must fight back and be heard.
Get your flags ready !
“in relation to politics, narcissism isn’t a bug, but a feature. I just have to get on board with whichever narcissist I dislike the least.”
☝️true in the UK Yoo Leigh 🙄
Hi Bubbles and Leigh,
“Ps offering free bus rides come with a cost”
Yes, it does.
Building grandiose extravagant buildings complete with gold toilets comes with a cost as well.
On a news report I watched about Mamdani’s win, it was reported that New York City has the largest population of homeless people of any city in the US. In the report, several NYC residents were stopped and questioned about their thoughts regarding the election.
The people questioned were young (under say, 35) and all of them said that the cost of living in the city for most people was becoming so high that it was near impossible. Even if they had a job and worked full-time, they could not afford to rent and also buy food without assistance from food banks.
There is a massive gulf that separates the very rich from middle-class and working people in the city. I think that this vast extreme and division in relation to income inequality is reflected in the extremes between political candidates and their beliefs.
When I listened to the news about Mamdani’s win, I thought he was chosen based on the same underlying reasons that Trump was chosen. People voted for change regardless of how that ‘change’ would actually be carried out in reality and how trustworthy they thought the person is who is making promises for change.
To me, Mamdani represents an extreme just like Trump represented an extreme when he won. The difference is that they are on different sides of the spectrum.
It will be very interesting (to say the least) to see how Mamdani being major of NYC will play out over time in relation to Trump being president.
I think you hit the nail on the head here, WN! People want change so they vote for whoever is promising change, regardless if they can follow through or not.
Trump is threatening to cut funding to NY. He’s not a happy camper about this at all.
Dear WiserNow,
I agree with you WN. Posting pics of your marbled bathroom, not a smart move, however, it was privately paid for and not taxpayer funded……..apparently.
I have seen many contradictory comments Mamdani has made in the press and back-peddled when needed. He’s a fierce critic of the NYPD as well. All Red flags !
The cost of living has affected us all unfortunately and any little dangling carrot would appeal to anyone when you’re hungry and desperate. People voted for change in Australia, England and Europe and now look at us, it’s worse than ever !!!!
Both Mamdani (bold new player ) and Trump (old hat) have issued narcissistic threats to each, however, right now, Trump literally holds the “Trump” gold card.
1st Jan “….AND SO IT BEGINS”
Hi Leigh,
If Trump threatens to cut funding to NY, it’s going to affect residents who rely on government funding the most.
This will exacerbate the existing drive for change.
The 1% have actually caused this situation with their relentless selfishness and greed. You can’t make things so hard for the average people that they can’t afford to buy food. It’s obvious that that will cause the most disadvantaged to choose a different kind of leader.
The 1% have to wake up and realise that they are choking themselves with their own greed.
Hi Bubbles,
To me, it seems that there’s a lot of jumping to conclusions in the comments at the moment.
After reading the comments here about the NYC election, I went to the evidence. That is, I looked at news reports about the US elections in general held on November 5.
The following paragraph is from an online report from CBS News:
“Democrats scored victories in the four major races of the night: the New York City mayoral race, the governor’s races in New Jersey and Virginia and Prop 50, California’s redistricting ballot measure. Exit polling showed voters went to the polls with worries about the economy on their minds, coupled with broader discontent with the state of the country right now.”
Mamdani wasn’t the only Democrat elected at the polls. The other Democrats who won are not Muslim. Abigail Spanberger who won the governorship of Virginia is a Protestant; Mikie Sherrill who won the governorship of New Jersey has an unknown religious affiliation; while voters in California “approved a measure to redraw political lines to favour Democrats” (from a BBC article).
The Democrat wins in the November 5 elections point Trump’s approval ratings taking a major dive, mainly due to the state of the US economy.
Here is a paragraph from an article published today in The Economist:
“Once the honeymoon is over, presidents tend to lose popularity quickly. But no recent president has fallen so low so quickly as Donald Trump. At the start of his second term public opinion was nearly evenly divided between those who approved of the president and those who did not. Now his net approval rating—those who approve of the job he is doing less those who do not—is minus 18. That is three percentage points lower than any point in his first term. Mr Trump’s numbers are poor even on the issues at the centre of his political platform. Net approval for his handling of immigration is minus 7. On inflation and prices, it is minus 33.”
To me, after taking at look at some of the news coming out of the US, there doesn’t appear to be a need to jump to conclusions.
Thank you for that breakdown, WN. I don’t see it as a cultural issue either. I see it as economic issue.
Historically, Americans don’t like it when newcomers arrive. There was a point in time when even the Irish & Italians were different too and suffered discrimination. Jews, Hispanics and Asians have been under fire as well. Now its happening to Muslims. I think when people are different, it poses a threat. I’m very kumbaya though. But I grew up in an area that’s very mixed so it doesn’t affect me the same way it affects others.
I think our views are very similar.
Hi Leigh
Just popped into comment on this:
“I’m very kumbaya though. But I grew up in an area that’s very mixed so it doesn’t affect me the same way it affects others.”
Me too. My parents are white immigrants and I grew up in a melting pot. I miss that now tbh. I think whether you’re left, right I in between, it’s not usually the other cultures on the ground that are the problem (theyre just trying to survive too) but the powers that he. My penny / cents worth …
Hi Leigh,
I’m with you on your thinking regarding immigrants, as long as they come legally. You know about Ellis Island, I’m sure, being from NY. It was okay, in my book, to screen people coming like that. Some received help so they could stay, some received a ticket back until they fixed their problem, whatever it was. It was about keeping the US populace “clean” and not about rejecting people. Rejecting them want the goal.
“Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame,
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
—Emma Lazarus
Hi AV,
There’s so many comments on this thread so I wanted to attach my comment that I referred to with regards to immigration. Here it is:
“With that said, I’m opposed to immigrants coming here illegally. There are so many people waiting years to get into the country. When an immigrant comes in illegally, they’re cutting the line. I don’t agree with that, even if that’s the only crime they committed.”
Dearest WN,
I’m an empath, I was born to jump to conclusions haha
I question everything !
At least this has got everyone thinking and talking, that’s a good thing.
HI AV,
Yes, I’ve been to Ellis Island. The first time I went, I was a child and it was on a school trip. Its not that big but I still found it so overwhelming. I went a couple of years ago too and it still had the same affect on me.
I totally agree with you with regards to legal vs illegal immigrants. Please see me comment below in response to Jade. I clarify my views in my comment to her and I don’t want to be redundant.
Hi Jade,
“It’s not usually the other cultures on the ground that are the problem (they’re just trying to survive too) but the powers that be.” – This is an interesting thing to consider. Are the cultures on the ground being gaslit and conditioned to believe that a new culture is the enemy? I know every culture has extremists. But are we being fed propaganda to believe the extreme view is the majority view?
Hi AV,
Yours and Jades comments got me thinking. It took a minute to sink in. I can be a little thick sometimes. The priority of “clean” immigration is to keep the extremists out. I agree with that, 100%. I just want to be also make sure that I’m not being gaslit by the powers that be that the extreme view is the majority view.
New York City and the state have been deep blue for ages. Any economic issues have grown on the watch of Democrats and under their policies. They hold and have held the most power there forever. We shouldn’t trust the arsonists to man the hoses.
This goes back to which narcissists I prefer. I don’t like or agree with everything on the conservative side, but I just saw the blue side shut everything down until they got certain people elected. They used the people they supposedly champion as leverage. They gaslit the country that their own policies–which helped make and continue the mess in New York and elsewhere–belonged to the Republicans.
The Democrats assert control by hooking everyone on government.
Republicans have their issues, but an addiction to Big Government ain’t one.
The Democrats are using the 1% as a symbol. It’s blameshifting. And there’s triangulation. It is expedient for people to be afraid of and hate people at the top. The common man talk of the Left is just that.
I also think we need to ask why so many people in a rich nation are dependent on state benefits. Is it really down to the 1%? The 1% who provide around 43% of NYC’s tax revenue are the problem? How are rent freezes, government run grocery stores, and taking away private property going to address affordability? How will a $30 minimum wage create jobs?
The NYC mayor-elect, Democrats, and socialists want central planning of the economy. Their polices push that. Government control always increases costs because the government can print money. The government can flood the system with cash. Government has no incentive to be competitive in a market.
As far as housing affordability, I would think as a result of all the regulations that NYC makes construction costs so high there’s less economic incentive to build–it isn’t sensible unless you build units most couldn’t afford to recoup those initial costs. Hence, less housing supply, and even higher costs in the face of demand. I’m not convinced the greedy 1% are at fault here. There’s trouble in the henhouse.
The mayor-elect and his Progressive friends can mine the 99% for character traits all they want, but when we stop producing residual benefits we’ll be roasted and served with little potatoes.
Allison,
I absolutely love this comment! You really explained the issues so much better than I could. Plus you threw some things in there that I hadn’t even considered. Thank you for this comment.
“…but I just saw the blue side shut everything down until they got certain people elected.” – I hadn’t considered that but now you’ve got me thinking about this. Were we all just puppets?
I just have one teeny little correction I want to make. Most of NY is actual red. The problem is that NYC takes up so much of the population. Since they’re deep blue, we end up with Democratic leaders. Where I live, its heavily Republican and there’s Trump Country signs up everywhere.
Hi Allison,
“I also think we need to ask why so many people in a rich nation are dependent on state benefits. Is it really down to the 1%? The 1% who provide around 43% of NYC’s tax revenue are the problem? How are rent freezes, government run grocery stores, and taking away private property going to address affordability? How will a $30 minimum wage create jobs?”
If you simplify this very big, all encompassing problem that you’re asking, Allison, it may be easier to contemplate.
Imagine that the entire US population amounts to 100 people. That is, the economy is based on 100 people.
If you could count the total of all the money, assets, property, and investments that everyone owns at a certain point in time, imagine that it all amounts to $100,000.
Instead of focusing on the top 1%, I’m going to focus on the bottom 50%.
According to data from the US Federal Reserve, the bottom 50% held only 2.5% of the entire wealth of the US in early 2024.
In my example, this would mean that 50 people (in our population of 100) hold only $2,500 in total. The other 50 hold $97,500.
By averaging the numbers, imagine that each of the 50 people in the bottom half have $50 each (i.e. $2,500 / 50).
The people with only $50 each need to use that money on everything – mortgages/rent, food, clothing, furniture, appliances, technology, cars, transport, education, children, restaurants, leisure, etc.
Obviously, $50 is not going to cover all those costs. It will need to cover only the most essential items, which are mainly, say, mortgages (or rent) and food.
Now, the organisations that sell clothing, furniture, appliances, cars, education, technology, medicine, healthcare, trades, restaurants, etc, will not be able to sustain their businesses because half of the population can’t spend their money on these items. Many of these organisations will need to reduce their staff or go out of business altogether.
There will be fewer businesses employing people and creating jobs.
If businesses go broke, it will add more people to the bottom 50%.
Meanwhile, the top 1% – that is, only 1 person – holds 30.5% of the wealth (according to Federal Reserve data for early 2024). That is $30,500. This proportion of wealth is going to keep rising for this one person as the number of people who become jobless increases.
This one person thinks that they have done nothing wrong. Why should they pay so much tax? So they find any legal loophole to avoid paying tax. They also make donations to the political candidate that promises not to increase taxes.
While this is a simplified example, it shows how an economy becomes increasingly restricted when wealth is concentrated in the hands of a relatively small number of people.
Hi, WN–
“If you simplify this very big, all encompassing problem that you’re asking, Allison, it may be easier to contemplate.”
It broke down for me. I don’t see where it addressed the questions I asked. My point was (if I was unclear) that if policies are put in place that run off the money people (NYC doesn’t run on the spending of the bottom 50%) that won’t help and would likely exacerbate problems.
Your use of national stats also points out something else: NYC is a powerfully concentrated exemplar of the nation, but this is not only due to demand density but also its quirks like rent freezes, high minimum wages set by law, and zoning. It’s those things which have the greatest impacts on affordability.
Money moves. Capital goes where it’s treated well. For example, it was our lack of state income tax, our anti-zoning stance, rents that were driven by the market, and business-friendly environment in Texas which attracted and still attracts people from both coasts.
I see the emotional appeal regarding wealth inequality, but the problems in NYC and in the US in general regarding that won’t best be addressed by robbing the rich via government controlled wealth redistribution. People and businesses will just pick up stakes and go where the grass is greener, and they’ll take their wealth and the jobs with them. You have to retain those people.
Also the picture is even more complex because wealth and income are different things and are treated differently. They also have different life cycles. This means that, although it’s tempting, simple models and simple solutions won’t explain or address the complexity.
Generally, I see government intervention in the economy in the form of things like rent freezes and minimum wages ending up hurting the people they’re supposed to help, while enriching bureaucrats and “connected” people. You shrink inequality by unleashing growth, not chasing away wealth.
Hi, WN: Sorry–narcissism was whirring in the background as part of my understanding. Thinking narcissistically regarding your setup, “Instead of focusing on the top 1%, I’m going to focus on the bottom 50%.” I’m considering the context of narcissism being prevalent in politics, not as among the 1% particularly, or as being a non-issue among that bottom 50%.
I focus on the 1% as I understood you saw them as the problem with the economy and as greedy.
I’m interpreting “greed” as being comprised of self-centered actions which exhibit no concern for the well-being of others. I’d say that isn’t solely or even primarily the driver among the 1% or that “solutions ” like price controls could address that.
Wealth can’t be normally distributed because the factors which influence it aren’t random. The quantiles themselves–bottom 50%, top 25%, etc.–aren’t causes but groupings of outcomes. Trying normalize wealth distribution–controlling outcomes–guarantees disaster.
In government we can spot the narcissists, find the dumb ones among them, and vote the bastards out. I’m wondering how do we deal with greed? Or how do we identify its presence from looking at net worth? Greedy compared to what? Who decides what’s too much for someone to have?
Models (as your 100 sample) simplify complex realities, but it’s very important not to apply simplicity for its own sake. It’s about determining the factors and their predictive capacity in their interactions.
And there’s the Pareto theory at work. I don’t want more government intervention in the market because I suspect that of the narcissists in politics 20 percent of those are Cipolla-stupid narcissists. Smooth-brained, dangerously incompetent controllers who would be out of a job if it weren’t for the suffering of the bottom 50%. If you’re too stupid in business you get culled. In politics you get elected.
Perhaps it’s not the 1% we need to pillory, or the bottom 50% we need to pity. Maybe we need to vote out the stupid people among the 500,000 elected officials.
Hi Allison,
“NYC is a powerfully concentrated exemplar of the nation, but this is not only due to demand density but also its quirks like rent freezes, high minimum wages set by law, and zoning. It’s those things which have the greatest impacts on affordability.”
I think I’m starting to see why my example “broke down” for you.
Whenever there are debates about economic issues and how they can be solved, there is almost always a focus on “minimum wages.” Either that, or reducing the number of wage-earning employees in a company or business.
There is hardly ever a focus on ridiculously – outrageously – over-the-top executive salaries that are augmented by additional bonuses and commissions.
These salaries are hundreds of thousands of dollars without counting the generous bonuses, commissions or share schemes.
Often, it is executive directors and partners who have the powers to decide on their own salaries, perks, and expense reimbursements.
The non-executive board of directors approves these enormous salary costs as long as the company declares it is operating as expected and is making a profit.
But sure, lets crack down on wage earners working for the minimum wage who are lucky to get a tiny annual wage rise.
I’m going to simplify things again, Allison, because I think that making it sound complicated by talking about the various working parts of an entire economy and the complexity of it all is actually a deflection.
Those who consistently focus on minimum wages, rent freezes, etc NEVER focus on the way executives are paid exorbitant sums of money that no individual is actually worth. There aren’t enough hours in the day for anyone to actually ‘earn’ those sums.
A decrease in executive salaries would create a lot more ‘growth’ in terms of job creation; investment; research & development; technology; and innovation. It would also increase staff productivity, engagement; and job satisfaction, leading to better economic outcomes for the whole business.
When it comes to income inequality, I think it is an issue that needs to address real numbers. Skirting around the reality to shield those who are the highest paid while decreasing the wages of those who have the least power in a business has not worked even though it has been the economic policy thrust into the spotlight at every opportunity.
Hi Leigh.
You said: “This is an interesting thing to consider. Are the cultures on the ground being gaslit and conditioned to believe that a new culture is the enemy? I know every culture has extremists. But are we being fed propaganda to believe the extreme view is the majority view?”
You’ve mentioned you have a lot of sources you go to for information. Would any of them help answer this question?
Hi AA,
With regards to this comment I made:
“This is an interesting thing to consider. Are the cultures on the ground being gaslit and conditioned to believe that a new culture is the enemy? I know every culture has extremists. But are we being fed propaganda to believe the extreme view is the majority view?”
I actually do believe this is happening on some level. When I asked the question, I was trying to gather my thoughts around the subject.
Hi Leigh.
Maybe I’m remembering incorrectly. I thought you consider yourself politically centrist. I definitely recall you saying you like to see both sides and not be presented or not accept biased views on topics.
Hi AA,
You are correct. I am a centrist and Mamdani is the furthest thing from that. By his own admission, he’s a socialist. If I had a vote, it would’ve went to Cuomo. He’s far more in the middle.
Mamdani won because the 20 years old don’t understand socialism. Plus he gave them a load of crap. He won’t be able to keep the promises he made. But many of our young people are naive and don’t understand, so they believed him.
I’m a democratic socialist, Leigh. Same as Mamdami. I get the impression the young people do understand what socialism is better than many older Americans. He will find it challenging to keep his promises because the machine will work against him. But I think if anyone will give it a good try it’s him.
Hi AA,
One important issue I have with regards to Democratic Socialism is stagnation. Without competition there’s no strive to do better or to innovate. What’s the point in working harder if the person next to me does very little and gets the same as me. I might as well go with the status quo then. I see that as detrimental not helpful.
For me, Socialism is another extreme and I don’t think extremes work.
Hey Leigh:
I agree on the HOW. But when this country has 70% of corporate wealth in 10% and 60% in land in 10%. Look it up! It’s no wonder that the working class and middle class is suffering inflation. Ronald Reagan taxed the rich 2 % at 75%. This was trickle down. Now it’s 25% or less. Trump finally declared his taxes. He paid 700$. Anyone here pay less? He is a billionaire. The money demonetizes our capitalized society. It’s hoarded. Our kids can’t buy houses, our kids can’t have kids, every bill is higher? Well, when less own more bills get higher. Even Ronald Reagan a Republican knew that. My hope is like NYC demonstrated, is that things will change. My son said is there any politician you like? I said Lincoln and FDR. Otherwise nothing has changed for me. And they saved people. Regular people. Not sure in this his world there’s any hope. I pray they die off and the oppressed young step in. Death helps. ( natural)
Hi Leigh and annaamel,
Cuomo may be a Democrat, however, he is among the richest people in New York. He is one of the 1%.
Considering he is a multimillionaire – based on lucrative book deals and private legal/consulting work – his personal wealth and lifestyle is far removed from the average resident of NYC.
After decades of this being the case, how connected does Cuomo really feel with the average New Yorker? How well can he relate to the average New Yorker’s daily living concerns?
“Without competition there’s no strive to do better or to innovate. What’s the point in working harder if the person next to me does very little and gets the same as me.”
When the majority of people are struggling just to keep a roof over their heads and have enough food, how are they ever – ever – going to ‘compete’ with a millionaire??
Firstly, I want to state that I do not agree with socialism. There are alternatives to ‘socialism’ that are better in my view.
The argument of ‘stagnation’ though often arises in debates about ‘democratic’ policies.
In my view, having massive income inequality actually creates stagnation.
The average person can’t compete even if they wanted to. There is no hope where there is no opportunity.
Hi WN,
I’m very familiar with Cuomo because he was our Governor during COVID and honestly, I’m not really a fan of him either. But I saw him as the lesser of two evils.
I also agree that having massive income inequality creates stagnation as well.
I see first hand how people can get stuck in the system and choose to stay there because its easier. From my point of view, Socialism will just make it worse. I think we need to find ways to give them a leg up, not a hand out. “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
Hi Leigh,
It’s interesting that you have mentioned a “hand out.”
It seems that even mentioning ways to reduce income inequality raises the assumption that it would involve giving those in poverty something they don’t deserve.
In all of my comments, I haven’t mentioned ‘hand outs.’
Instead, I mentioned a 10% reduction in rents and a shift from focusing on the minimum wage to focusing on company executives who have the powers to set their own salaries.
There are company executives who are already extremely wealthy who think they deserve a self-determined ‘hand out.’ They happily authorise and justify the paying of additional large sums to themselves. Their salaries are a huge proportion of a company’s earnings.
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
Considering this quote, I would like to know, who is it that owns and controls the fish?
Hi WN,
I apologize. I didn’t mean to imply that you mentioned handouts. I was still referring to Mamdani. He wants to give handouts and I don’t think that’s the answer. I think that will just keep people in their current situation.
I agree that there’s a huge income & wealth disparity here and it needs to be addressed. The income of the top 1% is growing, while the income for the rest of us is practically stagnant.
As for the owners of the fish, are you trying to say that owners decide who gets to learn how to fish? I guess I can see that on some level too. But I also think that its possible to improve our own circumstances as well.
Hi Leigh,
Sorry for my delayed reply. Sometimes I see comments addressed to me a few days after they’re posted. Plus, I spend a limited amount of time online due to other commitments.
There’s no need to apologise. I understood your point about handouts.
It’s interesting to me how there is a general attitude in societies everywhere that assistance to those who are struggling or who are the poorest is regarded as an economic threat. The poorest are often treated like they brought it on themselves through their own choices or deliberate actions. Meanwhile, the huge disproportionate wealth of the few who are the richest in society is somehow meant to be laudable and socially beneficial.
If you think about it in a different way, consider the children in ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.’ Veruca Salt symbolises wealth, entitlement and selfishness. She wants a golden ticket and her father indulges her. He buys thousands of chocolate bars and makes his factory workers open them until a golden ticket is found.
Veruca doesn’t appreciate her good fortune but instead, acts like a spoilt brat and wants even more than she has already. She throws a tantrum if she doesn’t get her way. She didn’t actually find the ticket herself based on her efforts or hard work. It was a factory worker who found the ticket, but it is the entitled Veruca who is given the ticket by her father.
Is Veruca Salt’s behaviour laudable or beneficial to the others around her? Are her character traits going to benefit anyone else?
Meanwhile, Charlie’s family saves up all year to buy one chocolate bar for Charlie’s birthday. Charlie appreciates the one chocolate bar and is grateful to his family for it. When he discovers the golden ticket, he is delighted.
Which of the two children – Veruca or Charlie – is the one who was given a ‘handout’ and which is the one who is deserving?
When it comes to the quote about fish, my thoughts when writing my comment is that the quote contains a general assumption that the ‘fish’ are available to some and not others. The quote makes it seem like a ‘given’ that some naturally have fish while others don’t.
There are no questions asked about why some control the fish while others need to rely on those who have access to the fish. If fish are a natural source of food in a natural environment, wouldn’t everyone have equal access to them?
If say, the quote was about education instead of fish, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume that anyone who wants an education would have equal access to an education?
When it comes to the improvement of circumstances, there can be limitations. If there are barriers in place, or if the circumstances are disproportionately difficult, it can be counterproductive to expect ‘everyone’ to have the ability to improve their circumstances.
When those with an illness visit a doctor, they need help to be healthy; those with mental health issues or addiction problems need assistance, public services and intervention; if women in abusive relationships need to escape with their children for their own safety, they need assistance or help from shelters and womens services; to describe a few examples.
It’s not always possible to be completely self-sufficient and to also improve your own circumstances.
Dear Leigh,
I know that you already know all of this. My intention is not to lecture you or anyone else. Instead, my intention is to make these points because the kinds of issues we are discussing become worse when sweeping assumptions are made over time without considering economic realities and consequences.
Hi WN,
Thank you for your comment. I’ve actually been questioning this myself too. Do people in China, North Korea or Russia have the same choices we have in the US or other democratic societies? I don’t think they do.
I agree that Veruca had an entitled attitude and expected a handout as well. I’m not a fan of the wealthy and their entitlements either. I also agree that if a resource is part of the natural habitat, that resource should be available to everyone. I’m also not against helping people who need the help. I’m all for a leg up in life.
Their are many that prefer the handout though. I know this isn’t true just for the impoverished, its also true for the wealthy. For me, I see handouts from either direction as detrimental. I believe that earning something on your own is its sweetest reward. For me, it just taste better when I know I’ve earned it instead of it being handed to me.
Here’s a real life example of what I mean. I work in HR. I hire warehouse workers that make minimum wage. A white male will work a day and then leave. My best employees are Hispanic and Asian females. They’re happy to get the chance. Here’s the other side though. They also don’t go on the company’s healthcare plans. Instead, they go on state sponsored plan where they can get it for free. Its easier for them to use the system then pay for their own healthcare. That’s bothersome to me because I see that as them still wanting a handout too.
I don’t know how we get there, but it would be nice if we can get to a happy medium somehow.
Thank you for explaining your intention, WN. Its not necessary though because I welcome your comments. You always give me food for thought and I appreciate it.
Thank you, Leigh.
I appreciate your comments as well.
Annaamel,
What Mamdani is planning is in no way centrist.
AV i agree he’s politically left. I can imagine those who lean right feeling very upset at his win.
Annaamel,
No need to lean right, centrist can be just as concerned. He is a dangerous person who was just given a bit of power. He will seek more. His son is a sad day for America.
HG, it would be so awesome to hear your views on him in regard to narcissist, narcissistic, normal or empath. If you have time at some point.
“Out of curiosity, how did you learn these things?”
Over the years there have been key times when I’ve noticed a disconnect between things I was told and my actual experiences with people. I began to listen to people I disagreed with and I started reading things I wasn’t supposed to read. For instance, I was recently excoriated during my thesis defense for mentioning Thomas Sowell and ignoring Marx.
Lately, instead of watching big media for information I watch it for other reasons. I avoid taking my professors seriously because none of them work hard at critical thinking.
I also try to do things like reading primary texts (executive orders, bills, legal decisions, etc.) whenever I can instead of relying on pundits. It’s not a perfect system, but it does help me notice things like the way speeches get edited or the difference between what a document actually says and what people say that it says. I get to spot motivated reasoning.
I’m not great, but I’m trying to get better.
Also, every Fourth of July I read a selection of our founding documents and take an aspirin.
That and a big grain of salt.
Allison,
Thank you for sharing your perspective and experiences, on this thread as well as others. I am glad to know that there are some critically thinking young people still out there.
I think Cuomo is a perfect example of why dem v rep is no better. It’s 2% v everyone else. Socialism (Europe… um the same) and communism ( China or Cuba? Just dictatorships) may not be the answer. Warren Buffet said his secretary pays more than him in taxes. Republican Reagan taxed the rich 3x more despite lowering the tax bracket for the failed “ trickle down theory”. So…… short of war and heads on pikes ( “ let them eat cake), what’s left? I doubt NYC will work but at least there is an attempt. I still hold out hope for the younger generation. What else?
Allison:
Just google what % owns corporate wealth in any country. What % owns the land. Try it and see everything you buy goes to a tiny percent.
Then research donors to Trump or Biden or any of them then see what positions their family gets, money they make off of political office. And the policies donators get. Etc… where do the masses fit in? It isn’t the Illuminati, aliens, it is a simple google search.
Hi AA,
I responded to your comment yesterday but it must have got lost in the ether, lol!
Yes, you’re correct. I’m a centrist. Mamdani is a socialist and way to left for my liking. If I had a vote, I would have voted for Cuomo, who’s much more in the middle.
Hi Leigh. Yes I reckon Cuomo would’ve been the most centrist option. And I can understand Mamdani not being your preference because as a socialist he’s significantly left. I suppose I didn’t understand why you’d feel distraught at his win. Distraught to me seems almost inconsolable.
Hi AA,
“Distraught to me seems almost inconsolable.” – I had to chuckle at this, lol! I’m laughing at myself though. I’m high in geyser and a bit dramatic, lol!
Dear annaamel,
I may not always be “right” lovely, but I’m never wrong 😂
Allison:
I would agree with you if the billionaires paid taxes. Why should we? Warren Buffet said his secretary paid more than him! Trumps should he paid 700$ in federal taxes. It’s BS
Billionaire is a status of net worth. We tax income, property, and sales in America. Not net worth. You appear to confuse wealth with income.
Hi, Leigh–
Forgive me if I’m jumping in wrong. For clarification are you speaking of the socialism? If so, I get it. Also, I’m concerned about living in a theocracy.
Allison,
I’m concern about living in a theocracy as well. That’s why I’m not a fan of the conservative right either. They push Christianity way too much for my liking.
True. But at least the Christians are less into beheading these days. Still, there’s the pressure to align.
Yes. The Right is concerning. There’s also the antisemitism in some Christian Right-Wing circles.
For me it comes down to whether it’s harder to live with that or with liberal “empathy”.
Honestly as a Texan I felt safer not only around typical conservatives but even around the openly Klan adjacent types. They generally never claimed to have empathy and left me alone.
The liberals tended to think they were models of compassion and tolerance. But you were dead if you disagreed with them, even slightly. On anything. Didn’t matter what it was. To me, people who falsely believe they have empathy are the worst.
I took some tests and I’m center right, apparently. I have changed some opinions, but I wonder if it’s more because everyone else moved.
“America is a melting pot of all different cultures.”
I see it as more of a tossed salad.
Hi Allison,
“I see it as more of a tossed salad.” – Maybe sometimes. But for myself, I was made in the melting pot. On my father’s side, I’m Hispanic from South America and on my mother’s side I’m Jewish from Europe and Asia. I’ve been truly mixed together. That’s why I’m ok with the melting pot. So many Americans are like me.
I do agree that its really about picking which narcissist in politics you disagree with the least. I’ve always made my political decisions based on that. But, at some point, if my issues aren’t being addressed, I can also go the other way. Right now, in this current administration, I don’t feel like my needs are being met and I’m not the only citizen that feels that way. The economy needs to be addressed or you’re going to see a lot more blue take over.
Dear Allison,
“Living” ?
Or dying.
Dear Leigh,
ISIS just congratulated Mamdani on his Jihad.
The day 9/11 was forgotten in NYC.
I want America to be America, Britain to be Britain, and the West to be the West.
Dear Allison,
That’s what we all want !
The powers that be have other ideas for us.
It’s tragic that this should even be happening.
Dear Allison,
Did you by chance see the interview on Good Morning Britain two days ago, with 100 year old veteran Alec Penstone, who is still selling poppies for Remembrance Day.
He said “The country of today, I’m sorry, the sacrifice wasn’t worth the result that it is now …. What we fought for was our freedom and even now , it’s a lot worse than when I fought for it “
His words were so true, just broke my heart….it was all for nothing.
But Allison, America is a melting pot of all different cultures. This is what makes me Centrist, I suppose. I want the melting pot still. All cultures are welcome. My culture is being dehumanized as we speak and its on full display for everyone to see. Yet, the right is ok with it. There’s a better way to do it.
Mamdani being elected isn’t a culture issue for me. Its an economic issue.
“America is a melting pot of all different cultures. This is what makes me Centrist, I suppose. I want the melting pot still. All cultures are welcome. My culture is being dehumanized as we speak and its on full display for everyone to see. Yet, the right is ok with it. There’s a better way to do it.”
I agree Leigh, I think country’s are always “evolving” not necessarily for the better but there will always be change especially in places like the UK and America. It’s scary how some cultures and demographics are used as scapegoats and as you said, on full display too. empathy is sorely lacking right now. 😕
Hi Jade,
I just wanted to clarify a couple of things. My father was an immigrant from South America. He came here on a temporary work visa and eventually became a naturalized citizen.
With that said, I’m opposed to immigrants coming here illegally. There are so many people waiting years to get into the country. When an immigrant comes in illegally, they’re cutting the line. I don’t agree with that, even if that’s the only crime they committed.
There’s a right way to deport them though. They’re still human beings. I think this administration has forgotten that though.
I’m in agreement with you Leigh. I think sometimes people generally will confuse refugees with immigrants and genuine refugee status is of course, important. However cutting the line, criminal gangs arrangements and unfair policies (also to the citizens of the country) doesn’t help.
I think it’s getting to the point here and in the US where something has to be done because it is an issue that needs to be dealt with properly rather than just quick fixes or stirring up the right and the left to blame each other.
I’m always sceptical that it’s the politicians that actually create these messes and it serves them to have everyone divided so we don’t see what they’re actually up to! 🧐 Also, a few governments ago here, the extent of sorting out immigration issues was to send a few people to France to set up a table and give people trying to get to the UK a chocolate bar! I think most governments (left or right) couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery (of if they could, it’s not in their interest to imo…).
I agree also about deporting people in a humane way. I think the narcissism is present on both sides of course, politically and more generally. The left can’t hear genuine issues with immigration and the right tars a lot of people with the same brush, often based on skin colour.
I find people looking perplexed when I don’t agree with a racist statement they’ve made but then they things”don’t mind the Polish”. I don’t think it means they haven’t got some valid grievances but it often seems to come out as racism, maybe partly education related too.
It’s complex isn’t it? Like the gun debate. No easy answers. I think something I keep feeling as I get older is just the importance of kindness generally and including with politics. I think it’s an underestimated power that we can all exercise and often missing in today’s polarised world. ❤️ Ps yes I am a bit of a hippy lol 😆
Hi Jade,
“Also, a few governments ago here, the extent of sorting out immigration issues was to send a few people to France to set up a table and give people trying to get to the UK a chocolate bar!” – LMAO! That’s hysterical.
I definitely agree that there’s a lot of misdirection going on government. They don’t want us to see everything.
I don’t necessarily see all the unsavory comments as racism. Sometimes its lack of education. But I also think there’s just some cultural bias going on too.
I don’t know enough about universal income to properly speak to it. But off the top of my head, I still feel like that could lead to stagnation and lack of drive. I want to do some research on it though.
Just to lob something else into this conversation as there’s not enough going on already 😄 I think the idea of universal income is interesting and along with sorting out immigration loopholes could make for a much happier population/s.
I often feel, in line with this, that the UK at least could learn more from Scandinavian countries about taking care of it’s citizens so we actually feel taken care of rather than all scrambling and fighting for the crumbs your 1% throws our way. Those that wanyed to earn more could, but the basics are taken care if. Ok.. Jade out 🫳🎤😄
Dear Leigh,
“My culture is being dehumanised as we speak and is on full display for everyone to see”. That’s the point, divide and conquer. Makes for easy manipulation and controls behaviour. Us v them !
Hate is an easy story!
The power of love, is the hardest!
Our governments seem to lurch from bad times awful, Leigh! 😅 Yes that could be an issue re stagnation but I think it could also spare a lot of time processing benefits generally if there was a baseline payment. It would be a very different approach than we have now and tbh I can’t see it happening…
Hello Allison: deceased
Since we are revealing origins, I am Scandivian, Germanic tribe and English . My mother is from Connecticut, a WASP and my father from New York. I have been a Southern Californian since 21. I lived in the UK a year. I was married to a Brit for 12.
A what you said: I agree. I think if you move to a country you should assimilate! I once brought my teenage after friend to Mexico and she complained the waitress didn’t speak English. I said “we are in their country, be respectful.”
I did see that portion of Good Morning Britain with the vet. I can only imagine how all this must be for someone who sacrificed so much.
Dear Allison,
We have a military family background and they gave up their lives for our freedom. Our loyalties are to our country and flag….always.
Hi Truthseeker 👋
Leigh kindly pointed me to a comment you’d made about shielding which was very useful.
I guess I’m wondering, about how we “react” when the bubble / wall is in place.. I ended up giving my mum a piece of my mind last time I saw her (new for me) after she gaslit me the whole time we met but I’m thinking we might have different interactions anyway with this shield in place… ? I was glad I stuck up for myself, for me but it’s still a reaction. But I don’t want to feel like she’s just said whatever she eats to either. I guess some of the issues people feel with grey rock. Could you advise?
Ps I knew she wouldn’t get get I said but did it for me and to put the record straight about something in front of another person ..
Hi Jade,
I think there are two different ways to shield. I put up a wall to keep my emotions from getting out. Then there’s shielding to stop other people’s emotions from affecting you. From what you describe here, it sounds like you’re trying to keep your emotions in. Sometimes its difficult to do, especially with a narc mother.
I’ve seen Mr. Tudor say in the past its ok to set the record straight. Its important to only say it once though. You don’t want to get caught in a circular conversation or a back & forth with a narcissist.
I know you asked TS but I wanted to throw my two cents in too.
Thanks for this Leigh. In that scenario, yes it was keeping my emotions in but usually that’s less of a problem for me I think.. I keep my cards quite close to my chest. Often it’s feeling other people’s stuff getting in. Thanks for the tip about setting the record straight. I was really pleased I did that there, it needed to be said.
On repeating things. My mum texts to try and get me to meet every so often.. that’s mostly the extent of our contact now. I had it all out with her a few years ago so any non narc would know why but she seems to forget / need fuel and ask to meet every few months. I try to be “professional” .. straightforward but kind (or less kind if needed). I say I’m not well enough which is true and to save her ego (even though my illness doesn’t exist in her reality) but she conveniently forgets and comes back.. no shame.. but I think that I’m managing it best I can. I sometimes remind her of all the times I’ve told her something but your memory side of things is interesting to say the least!
Hi Jade,
I keep my cards close to my chest too. Other than the blog and one trusted friend, I don’t do vulnerable. Most people would describe me as cold and I’m totally ok with that. LOL!
When I was referring to repeating ourselves, I meant in the moment. Do you remember Mr. Tudor’s article, “Round and Round We Go – The Circular Conversation”? When that starts to happen, you have to stop conversing with them because you’re getting no where. All we’re doing is giving them fuel and control. We don’t want that!
I agree with TS’ comment that no contact should always be the goal. But when we can’t achieve that, zero impact or indifference is the next best thing. Learning to not allow it to affect us can be satisfying as well.
Thanks for sharing Leigh. Sometimes a cold exterior is necessary and I think can be a good thing especially for empaths. I’ve realised I’m too friendly on the surface (though it’s more that people will come to me with their energy’s as mentioned to TS, rather than vice versa) and am learning to dial that down lol plus choose consciousy when to be vulnerable.
Thanks for mentioning about circular conversations in the moment again. Yes.. good point about stopping those in their tracks!
Hi Jade,
For me, when I consciously shield, my emotions are kept back. I draw them in to myself. Nothing is projected outwards. I don’t really experience my own emotions too clearly within the shield. I know how I feel I suppose, but it’s all very dulled down.
So I could make a statement, I might correct the record for example but there is nothing of me behind it. There’s no emotional weight. It’s the words without the music if you like. A bit like a bad actor reciting a script. So if you wanted to shield, you could still easily respond, it would just be a response delivered without emotion.
I recognise rather than feel when the shield is up. The shield is a defence against emotions from those outside of it. I can recognise the tone, body language, micro expressions and so on. I know what they all mean, I just don’t feel the emotion.
Overall, the shield acts as a solid barrier. No emotions out means no emotions in. To most other people I think it probably looks like I’m there, but not present.
As an adult, most often now I do it to conserve battery. If I’m at my emotional limit, headed somewhere crowded or particularly high in emotion, if I’m super stressed so I have to safeguard myself rather than supporting others, then I’ll consciously shield. It isn’t something I do left and right though.
The downside is that it still takes energy to fund the shield. It’s like having to hold up a mental wall, so it can get tiring after a while.
Hope this helps.
Thank you TS, much appreciated. The detail helps me imagine it more and I’m going to start practicing that. I have imagined a wall or shield when I’m out walking and just saying hi to other walkers. The bad actor following a script was a good metaphor too… Actually i just realised I did do this once.. early on when I realised about my mum, I saw her in person she was continually asking to meet again with no respect for my response and I was saying no (one of the first times I said no). I kind of stared into the distance and just kept responding no. Okay I think I get it!! thank you ❤️
You’re welcome Jade.
I was thinking about this again today. Someone I know could really benefit from having a shield. Try not to get too distracted by the visualisation aspect. I visualise an awful lot, so seeing a glass dome makes perfect sense to me in my own internal world. Not everyone visualises to that extent. If I think about it, my descriptions are littered with visuals. When I block emotions I say “drawing in”. When I’m actively seeking to tie in to the emotions of someone I call it “reaching”. It’s visualisation. In my world I’m giving emotions a solidity, a kind of shape. Visualisation runs through emotional communication for me, but it doesn’t mean it has to for other people.
When I read your own example, what that suggests to me is that due to your mother’s repetition, you kind of switched off. A “don’t care” attitude of sorts. It’s that. To start with, that’s really what you are aiming to replicate rather than simply seeing a shield or barrier.
It’s a kind of stepping out of the interaction / situation and viewing it more as a non invested observer. The observer wouldn’t care one way or the other.
I’ve often thought that narcs only hold the power for as long as we care. This is similar but in a targeted way. Reach your limit, stop caring, even if it’s only in context of that one interaction / situation and your emotions are already dulled. Therefore, it’s easier to hold control of them by drawing them into yourself.
If you are visual like me, you visualise the emotional process that’s taking place, you give it a shape. My shape is a glass dome, but I think you can still hold emotional control as a process without having to visualise anything at all.
So from how I interpreted your example, in that moment with your mum, yes, it sounds very much like shielding. That’s what you need to replicate, if shielding is what you want to do.
I started doing it with my own mum as a kid. It was something reactive rather than intentional at the time. The difference now is that most often I do it intentionally, I have a clear visual and I can do it pretty much at will.
Thanks for your additional thoughts TS, much appreciated. ❤️
I have been visualising a barrier around me when I’m out since your help with this and though it doesn’t feel that natural to me at the moment, I think it helps me just be aware I’m leaving my house and mingling with other people’s energies and have a little preparation. I am very visual when I’m learning but less so in terms of creating visuals for myself. Your info helped me think about how I do this. I think it’s kind of a switch for me, as you said re my mum. I’m the kind of person that can very easily slip into caring too much about everything and my mum has known this and used it against me. She’s had to get used to “switched off” Jade now after 6 years but it didn’t compute to start with. She got 40+ years of “compliant Jade”, as she used to say, so it’s about time! 🙄
Funnily enough, I’m pretty sure a new manager 2 layers up, at work, is a narcissist. I haven’t met her IRL, but heard enough to actively avoid her. I talked with a colleague the other day who’s very upset (understandably) about how the new manager talks about and to our team. I said to the colleague that I won’t attend this woman’s meetings and actively “disconnect”. I think this is my language for it.. switching off, disconnecting. I’m out.. (mic drop 🫳).. even if I’m “there in person”. Thank you TS, that’s really helpful and I am going to continue with the visual shielding as well. Forearmed is forewarned! I feel more confident now.
Hi Jade,
You’re welcome.
Remember though, if you know you are dealing with a narcissist, the most effective thing you can do is to remove yourself. Nothing ever beats that.
If you elect not to remove yourself, if the narcissist is a parental or workplace narc for example and you implement ANC instead, then shielding, detaching, whatever people prefer to call it can be useful in my experience. It definitely helps when I’m dealing with my mum.
It also helps with emotional overwhelm and preventing that from happening.
Overall though, I am an advocate of No Contact, simply because in terms of negative impact on the empath it is the most effective defence we have.
Well said, TS and I agree.. thank you for adding that reminder. Nmum and one brother are the only one’s left and vlc with both for family reasons.. meeting annually, if that, with other family present, is the only way I’ll see them. I’ve managed to not meet the workplace one on purpose as even if they’re not a narc, they’re toxic enough to warrant a swerve.
Yes, separately to narcs, I’ve always got very overwhelmed in crowds etc so the advice is mainly for general day to day life. I’m on lockdown for newbies entering my life these days, without many years proven safety! I’ll use the “switch” idea when out plus shielding…
That’s a good point too Jade, the steering clear of someone who is reportedly exhibiting problematic behaviours.
I absolutely want to implement my learning, however for me, it wouldn’t always be necessary to identify if someone’s poor behaviour is down to narcissism, particularly if it was in a work environment. There are problematic people in all groups, it’s not always a necessity to identify groups as much as it is the problematic behaviour.
Exactly TS. I’d heard enough to decide she wasn’t someone worth meeting lol. If someone is dismissive and doesn’t allow staff to raise valid concerns I couldn’t see much point, whatever she is. 🤷♀️ I’m fortunate that I’m not obliged to attend the meetings so it’s a win win.
Hi HG,
Ive just finished seduced and ensnared on YT. brilliant. 👌 your narration adds another layer. I particularly liked your Ashleigh voice!
One question, are unaware narcissists oblivious to giving themselves away (the phone recordings…)? I’m guessing their narrative and reality is the only one that matters so they don’t worry that they’re actually revealing the truth to someone else?
Thank you 😊
I keep thinking your English teachers would be proud of the work you’re doing now. 📚
I am pleased you enjoyed it.
Yes, they are oblivious.
They probably would be although I also suspect they will be pleased to have nothing to do with me.
Thank you HG. Maybe. I think your love of literature and writing really shines through.
Hello HG:
Did you see the Perfect Neighbor at n Netflix? It’s been in the top spot for months and the narcissist is obvious! The show highlights what you have educated upon with neighbors that are narcs. Ends with murder. True story, sadly!
Question: Why do narcissists spend so much time trying to harm others? I know you will say “ control.” There are no residual benefits ( the neighbors hated her). But the “ control” kept ruining her life and put her in jail. Why did this narcissist cut off her nose despite her face and I often see it with both narcissists and psychopaths. They continue to take risky actions and end up in jail.
2. Where is the cognitive awareness of their actions v. The risks?
3. Do they think they are invincible to the criminal justice system?
4. Or do they believe so much in their “ victimhood” that they can’t see they are the aggressors and not victims?
Today I went to court as a favor and got my best friends daughter who is autistic out of a felony charge. Despite her “ meltdowns” since 14, where she went in and out of therapeutic residential hospitals, her behavior escalated. BUT what’s amazing is her behavior is different with her Dad. No meltdowns with him so she has moved to Mississippi. I spoke to the DA, first time offense, no chance of repeat as parent moved ( so no risk to them or CA system) and no cooperation of mother- she testified to expose the causes of action would never be met at court. Judge dismissed. The child is 20, interesting. Entitled. A bully to her mother not her dad. Takes no responsibility. Very grateful to me. Her social workers and therapists have said the autism/BPD diagnosis overlaps. My friend is Co-D. Her father is not. I am hopeful as not a psychologist and exhausted myself helping the family, those I love. No regrets. But because of you, I wonder was it a real victory? Will she change? But I don’t think the alternative would have helped otherwise. And HG, I must confess, I manipulated them… the DA, the public defender, the judge, as an attorney does. That is where contagion comes in. I knew the smiling charming DA wants a win and to protect his job. So tell him I was a DA once ( true) but that I could not handle the pressure ( false, I hated the content and the pay). I told him she was a first time offender, out of state ( he is safe) and victim would not cooperate ( he would lose). I said he was probably very knowledgeable about autism ( maybe) but her deficits were cognitive and parroting ( ummmm), and that I deferred to the public defender who would be able to evaluate our stance and together see that a dismissal was best. The public defender was older. These types are like social workers. Committed to high ideals and accepting of low pay. They rarely win. We gave him the chance and with me lots of deference to his abilities. He took the credit. Said it was “ rare” and that he wished he had more cases with this result (true). I thanked him for his service. I knew the judge ( usually) former DA would do what the DA wanted. So she walked free. Free from felony. Did I do am empathetic thing? For the parents… yes. But people kept coming up to me and telling me their child’s plight. A mother of 5, with no father. Mexican. Moved her children to South Carolina to hopefully change things but her youngest son got caught in a car with 5 guns. South Carolina. No problem. You can carry. CA it’s a felony. But there were 18 year olds in the car. You can’t say it was her son. But he got convicted. The system is not fair. I was so tempted to step in but I am not a criminal lawyer anymore. I guess it troubles me as I helped my best friend whose daughter is a problem yet there are others that because if money who might ( question mark) be innocent who go to jail. Happens everyday , I know. But did I do the right thing? Well, it was out of love.
0. No, I have not seen it.
1. I have explained this many times. It is the process of compartmentalisation where unaware narcissists focus sub consciously on the Prime Aims in the moment without due regard for collateral consequences that follow thereafter.
2. See 1.
3. Some do.
4. Some do.
Hi Contagious,
My daughter told me about The Perfect Neighbor too. She saw that Mr. Tudor had analyzed Unknown Number so she was hoping he’d analyze this series too.
I was leaning more towards psychopath or sociopath. She lived alone and had no children. Although she could be a narcissist too because its possible she got fuel from harassing the children in the neighborhood.
Mr. Tudor,
I hope you decide to analyze Susan Lorincz. Its quite a story.
Hey Leigh:
I think narc. She wasn’t collecting anything. I didn’t see any goals. She was your typical controlling bitch who moves into a neighborhood and makes life miserable for everyone. We all get it. But then she shot a mother. Boom. Jail time. Good riddance. Horrible plight on earth she was
Hiya Contagious, you’re a good pal. Do you feel it would happen again? I am guessing it will, even if years later, or do you think this daughter was scared enough to pack in the ol’ felon behaviour?
I am close to someone with a 20 year old ‘autistic’, entitled daughter too. 20 is adulthood in my book. Time to start acting like one. Both her father and mother have coddled her in some ways, but she’s not a felon or violent. She does use meltdowns, emotion and dramas to get attention unconsciously, in my opinion. She used to think she was male until age 16/17 and self harmed. At age 11 she used to scream and scream in refusal to get off the internet and go to bed. What a carry on. I have very little sympathy for the dramas that go on with her, but I’ve not had children. My point is, where does narcissistic behaviour override the autistic behaviour? HG has likely covered this enough already. My next point is: you did a good deed, madame. I don’t think I would’ve done it! Do you feel you have a ‘line’ now, like, was it a one-off favour? What are the chances of being asked to help again? You did what you could, out of love but will it stop there?
“Hello Allison: deceased”
I assure you I’m quite alive. I read the obits every morning when I have my coffee, and I’m never in there.
And it just dawned on me.
1. Can a Co- d infantilize her child? My friend subjects herself to her daughter wanting her to have “ everything she didn’t” as she came from an abusive household in South Africa. She has taken her daughter all over the world and premieres ( as a top Hollywood agent). What I noticed is a large screen TV and the largest room with a walk in closestwent to her daughter while she had a tv 20 years old and a smaller room. While her daughter abused her in many ways, refusing to go to school, work, drive and physically assaulting her and verbal abuse if my friend wouldn’t pay for something… my friend worried if she was a “ bad mom” and this was throughout the criminal trial. Dad handles the kid well. No outbursts, violence or property damage and gets her to do things. When I came home tonight and told my son the result he said… “ you would never let me or ( my daughter) not work, not go to school…. Why does ( name with held) feel so entitled? So my question to you is can a Co-D create an entitled child? 2. Maybe not a narc, as this girl is different and functioning with her father? 3. Can this desire by a Co-d to be loved at all costs be a detriment to the development of a child? 4. Is it pathodological? I truly believe she loves and wants the best for her child but she has no boundaries… her older son was the first to say it. I think she meant the best, to give her child a life she never had but overcompensated. 5.Is there any truth to this?
1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. Yes.
4. Is what pathological?
Hello HG:
I think what people don’t get about the criminal justice system is that the intent of the prosecution and judges is to keep their jobs. To do so it’s safer to remove a “ menance “ then to sympathize with a mental illness. Their job is to keep the public safe and by doing so keep their jobs. It is not a system designed for improving mental health. Not at all. It’s why most in jail have mental health issues….severely mentally ill people go to jail or face the death penalty. The hammer falls on the ill in favor of the public always.
Dear HG: And while on the topic , I long ago went to a woman’s maximum security prison. This was in law school. I wanted to be a DA but I took a prisoners rights class where you went into prisons to offer free legal services such as they are arrested but there storage units are emptied without proper procedure ( they have civil rights and cases). I met this 23 year old or so woman who looked like a cheerleader. Blond very petite, but she had put an axe on her boyfriend’s head. He cheated and she got up a ladder and waited for him to enter than boom. She was friendly and engaging. My feeling was a whirling of unbalanced energy. Like a 3 tornados behind her eyes. Don’t know why but I could see why it took so long to arrest her. Charming girl. Then I met a women with 5 tattoos of tears under her eyes. She was a gang member and she said each represented someone she killed. I was surprised she talked to me but of course she knew it was confidential. She got divorced and wanted spousal support. She wasn’t imprisoned for murder.
I later learned tears are common representations for murder. She was monotone, flat, dark like an endless dark well.
1. My question is why would I psychopath tattoo their face of kills when they must know it’s risky. It’s risky business and if caught for murder, evidence. And even though she wasn’t in for murder, it doesn’t help… so why? Why advertise?
Stimulation.
But it’s stupid Right HG? So many killers tattoo gang insignia on their bodies that mark them for jail. Why? Does stimulation outlet intelligence? I always felt recklessness is why Dr Hare found 30% of US prisons lined with psychopaths….you often talk of “ sophistication” among psychopaths, do you really mean “ dumb”?
Dear HG:
Final questions if they make sense.
Ok as A contagion, you read people. You are often correct on what they are thinking, wanting and needing. It helps in my profession. But I came across criminals. There was a different energy.
A. One was a cartel member linked to many murders but I was on a 4th amendment walk and talk assignment on Imperial Avenue. I got assigned his prelim. In questioning, he was confident, calm, cool, collected but his energy felt like pressure, like a bulldozer. Without words it was “ get out of my way.” Goat eyes. Dead eyes.
B. The “ cheerleader” petite blond who was cheerful and full of smiles and polite who was doing time for putting an axe in her boyfriend’s head. Felt like a whirlwind of energy. Like tornadoes behind her eyes. Her eyes sparkled with intensity. Lots of intensity.
C. The pedophile I sat next too during his trial who was a stepdad who raped or had sex with his beautiful daughter from 8 to 16. She would not cooperate as she “loved him”…, He was a fat, greasy, thick eyeglasses unattractive man in his 40s. His energy felt like a hungry rat. His beady eyes on the clips of her. He looked and felt hungry. He was convicted.
D. The gang member woman with five tear tattoos on her face under her eyes who told me they represented her kills although not in prison for murder. I can’t recall why locked up in maximum security…. . Talking to her. Her energy was nothing. Like a sci fi episode where you go to a barren wasteland and nothing stirs.
This is how I describe reading someone. There are other reads but this is how I feel an energy
1. Is this a normal contagian thing to read someone based in part on a feeling of an energy? Perhaps just what I do and it makes no sense.????
2. If logical….Is this normal in how narcs reads others?
3. Do you read this way? Describe an energy feeling below the surface?
4. If so, what would your educated guess be as to whether a narc, psychopath or something else for A to D. Or would you need more.
1. A contagion would use their detection of energy as part of the process of understanding an individual.
2. Narcissists do not use the detection of energy.
3. No.
4. I would need more information or be physically present to the individuals described.
Just wanted to pop in here Contagious and say I feel like I do something similar, & I feel like I’m getting a bit better at it more recently as I’m less likely to dismiss my intuitions as I learnt more about this aspect of myself (here particularly).
My “picker” used to be broken.. I liked Oprah, Ellen etc 🤦♀️ but with HGs work am finding myself more able to pay attention to the surface and the energy of people and situations. It’s definitely in the ballpark of what you’re describing..
Hello again! HG, I’d like to compliment you on the quality video, ‘The Devil’s Handler’. Makes a lot of good sense. Have long felt he was a key player, but it does seem he’s THE ‘gonnegtion’. He’s got one cold demeanour, in my opinion. His eyes look like energy weapons! If there was enough about him to make the determination, I wonder what his Tudorscope results might be…
Thank you, I am pleased you found it interesting and insightful.
I hope you’re doing ok Mari ☺️ I’ll have to watch that YT. Marcus is an interesting one, isn’t he? 🧐
hellooo jade and thank you. yes, watch it. i’m not sure how interesting he is, he seems like a shark with not much else but prey in his visions. with him being a dark horse though, who knows? he might be highly interesting. i would certainly be interested to know his narc/psychopath levels though!
Interesting watch. I agree with HGs assessment.. she obviously couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery lol so she must have had some help! I’d imagine he’d be a greater of some type. Private, in the shadows.
HG – I guess he’d be the “boss”with Meghan HG… 🤔 do you think he would feel she’s “fucked up” her big opportunity as much as the rest of the world does, or would there be shadowier goals at play?
I suspect that what she has fucked up is not so much a concern of his as he has alternative goals and so long as those are met, all is well.
Yes. I’m guessing the prime aims or necessary triad… 🤔
Glad you watched it, Jade. I have a vision of him focussing on the horizon whilst she yaps about and intermittently chases her own tail in the sand (and writes ‘2025’ 2,025 times in said sand) yet the harness is held all the while. Tight when necessary.
I like your analogy Mari. I think you’re right. I just wonder what the horizon is… 🤔 Does he earn money from or by association 🤔
Hi HG,
Is Marcus a candidate for the Tudor scope? If be interested to hear what you think his goals are with this one’s wife ..
😊
Hi HG
I hope you’re well.
A question I thought of for you recently…
Is there anything you still feel unclear of or still want to learn about narcissism, yourself?
Thanks 🙏
I will let you know should anything come to mind, at the moment, nothing does, but excellent question.
Thank you HG 🙏
HG, maybe in all honesty the majority of us utilising your KTN blog still want to learn more about ourselves, including you, to understand more about human behaviours as a whole. Even if the ‘interactions’ are not necessarily in person, as not all ‘translations’ are obvious.
1. Ultra, do you like Depeche Mode because Martin Gore’s lyrics are about Sado-masochistic dynamics (e.g. “Strangelove” and “Master and Servant”)? Or do you just enjoy the dark energy of their music?
2. Shouldn’t the dynamic between Narcissist and Victim be Master-Slave not Master-Servant? A slave is a possession (like an object). A servant is an employee.
3. Do you think many Empaths have masochistic urges? They like the pain the Narcissist gives them. (e.g. being ignored or iced-out)
4. Do you think Empaths are born with a biologically higher pain threshold than, say, a Normal?
5. Do you think Empaths possess “L’appel du vide” (the call of the void) and a self-immolation instinct that causes them to latch on to a Narcissist knowing that the Love might kill them?
6. Do you see a connection amongst Empaths, Masochists, Martyrs, and Mystics?
As an Empath falling in love with a Narcissist is the sweetest, most delicious, most damaging thing in the world. The pain is so intense that it feels like a mystical ecstasy. (Like the Ecstasy of Saint Teresa). It also feels like martyrdom, because the Empathy tells you that if you love him you should take the pain. And when you do, the empathy (emotional reasoning) tells you, you’re strong and purposeful. And you’re helping him.
1. I have an appreciation for the arrangements and the content of the lyrics.
2. Controller and appliance.
3. The masochism in the empath is a minority aspect. Most do not like the pain, but cannot help but be drawn to it owing to the addiction.
4. No.
5. No.
6. No.
You write in the way an unaware narcissist would write about the way they believe empath’s feel.
Can I write like a Narcissist, think like a Narcissist, and not be one? I have psychopathic genes. So I know how psychopaths think. I can deaden the eyes, dial down the warmth, evoke an uncanny chill. Does this make me a psychopath? I have no need for Fuel, the so called “Life Blood” of the Narc. I got bullied throughout Secondary School so I quite love solitude and enjoy NOT being the centre of attention. Can I be very difficult to figure out and hard to pin? People find me hard to pin. I have masochistic urges but I would never act on them. Ergo celibacy. Is having Masochistic urges Narcissistic?
My friends describe me as “not wanting anything from anyone,” “loner,” “secretive,” “self-sufficient.” How can I be respectful of other people’s boundaries and yet be an unaware narcissist? How can I be aware of my genetic predisposition (both my parents are psychologically pathological, both display narcissism and antisocial personality disorder with my father being a psychopath) yet understand that I have no interest in harming others or taking anything from them?
My one struggle is my masochistic urge, my penchant for intense isolation (I thrived and flourished during covid lockdown), my fear of sexual intimacy and yet my dark ultraviolent fantasies which I think are psychological attempts to deal with my memories of being brutally raped when I was barely out of childhood through hedonic reversal.
(Redacted – breach of confidentiality provision)
I am intense and darkminded. I struggle with Boredom. That does not equal pure narcissism or pure psychopathy.
“You write in the way an unaware narcissist would write about the way they believe empath’s feel.”
But a verbal façade is just that – a verbal façade. The words are not the woman. The words don’t make the woman. Sometimes they conceal more than reveal identity and intention.
If I wanted to I could write like an oxbridge-educated, public-schooled, aristocratic, narcissistic, psychopathic English gentleman. But I can’t be fagged to do so. Indeed, I have already done it.
Hello Lucifer Lolita:
I like what you wrote about love and self acceptance and self love! Bravo!
It troubled me what you wrote about empaths being masochists. Maybe some are. My understanding is masochists often hold the power in BDSM relations.
But I can say for me that I am no one’s Masochist, in fact I might look at suing you for every dime of equity in your home for saying so… just kidding.
My empathy looks for change. To help to nurture to love. It is Christian based but I find love in many religions that I approve. Jesus is mine.
I have spent a lifetime fighting for others through my legal degree but also through charitable endeavors and as a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend , a neighbor and even to strangers. I try to be the oak tree to rest your head and seek refuge from the storm when the unfair world provides no help. I am perhaps an upper class American so my ability to do so has limits.
But no masochist and I. I am very strong and capable.
I fell in love with a narcissist and had no idea what I was dealing with until HGs education. It was a shocking confusing time and I had no prior experience as I come from an uber empathetic family maybe some normals and had no clue as to what was happening. My romantic partners weren’t vast but also empathetic or normal. No abuse.
HG’s education helped me identify it and draw boundaries and leave it.
I don’t see myself as a victim or survivor. I see myself as a woman who adapted well to change.
I see myself as a woman who adapted well to change 👏 Contagious! I love the support and empathy you exude. 🙏
You know what Hg?
Throw any label you want at me. Call me a narcissist. And I will just laugh. Because I know I have narcissistic traits, psychopathic traits, and empathetic traits. Nothing you can say to me, Hg, can stick because I am in possession of supreme Science of Self: I know my Spirit, Soul, Mind, and Body.
(Redacted for breach of confidentiality provisions)
The one Narc interest I had was in you putting Neil Gaiman under the Tudorscope so others who find his sex crimes passing cruel could understand where his behaviours surge from. You have a lengthy list of your own personal projects. And the Gaiman case might well be illuminated by utilising the knowledge vault. No need for the Tudorscope. Yah, that’s quite alright.
At the end of the day, Hg, I will not engage with your worldview for I know that as I am alive and breathe, nobody is an appliance. Not me. Not the Man in the Street. Not the women who have loved you. No one. I have my place on this planet. You have your place on this planet. So does everybody else. As Virginia Woolf wrote, “One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.”
I am happy with the person I have become, despite the dramas and traumas I have endured. And I feel lucky to be alive. I feel a sense of fellowship with other people because at the end of the day the supreme thing any human being can do is to Learn how to Love.
I hope people continue to find your work, Hg. I hope they continue to find healing and comfort through you, but most importantly an understanding. That Platform of Understanding you talk about. When I discovered you I thought I had happened upon a quiddity or quintessence I had been searching for my whole life. I now understand that I have not. What I had been searching for was always already inside me all this while. Thank you, Hg, for illuminating my own wholeness. It is the ultimate gift to learn that the treasure I seek in the world is already situated within my own Soul.
Thank you for your hard work, Hg.
May you live long and prosper.
Lolita, when I was new to this blog, three popular members of this online community called me a narcissist and basically continued to do so or imply that I am one for their own reasons, and they are free to do it. Largely, I do not give a fig about their opinions either, which I am free to do also. For my part, I am convinced that one member of their online-friend group is a narc, and any interaction with her on my part is futile, but their group enjoys the interactions and gets along. And? We are all still alive and commenting, and having this parasocial thing going on, where people comment about their lives and views in ways they normally wouldn’t with strangers. It is odd in general but has its roots in real-life difficulties, which stem from narcissistic impact, so.
I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt as a new entry, but I just saw the exchanges here, and if HG himself writes that you give off narc vibes, see it as a compliment maybe. While the label is stigmatising, HG once responded to a question: if he had kids, what would he want them to be, and he replied: narcissists.
Perhaps simply remember that many people here were abused by narcissists, so it does not make much sense to wave a red cloth in front of a bull. Narcissists also do good things in the world, and frankly, they bond with one another, as seen with the King and Queen, who also get along with their empath and normal heirs to the throne. The label primarily describes a particular wiring in a person’s brain and how they deal with the world; it does not indicate whether the person or the choices their brain makes are good or bad. It is a protective mechanism of their psyche, which unfortunately can have a negative and devastating impact on others. The higher the cognitive empathy, the better for the environment around them, if that matters to them based on the hierarchy of their prime aims and facade management, as far as I understand.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Erika Kirk and JD Vance !? I imagine Mrs Vance wouldn’t be too pleased.
What say you Mr Tudor ?
There is a case to answer.
Dear Mr Tudor,
The plot thickens 🕵🏻♂️ mwahahaha
She is so gross. And so bad at pretending to be sad. She just continues to make everything look so suspicious.
This was a turnip for the books 🧐
Not a turn up?
A line from one of my favourite comedies.. the detectorists.
Dear Violetfire,
Overacting big time, it’s so false
They literally insult our intelligence
I’m constantly smelling rats 🐀 hahaha
She’s got those same creepy religious, demonic Kenneth Copeland eyes.
Dear Violetfire,
You absolutely nailed it! He’s Satan in human form that one.
Violetfire,
Haha – there’s definitely not much warmth behind those eyes.
“Grab on my waist and put that body on me”
Ugh. That’s nearly worst than thinking about ginge and cringe 🤢
Funniest video ever HG! 🧡🥚🥞🩷🍗🐔 Thank you!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6BlIuvBCpwo
Mr. Tudor,
During your interview with John Cooper, he asked you what you would do if someone got the better of you. Before you laughed, there was a slight pause. If you’re willing to share, I’m curious what you were thinking in that pause.
Do I deem a response with disdain or humour to be the most effective response to this challenge to my control.
Thank you, Mr. Tudor!
H.G., who is Jordyguin? ))) 👀
Why on this site, everything is just like in real life…… 🤦♀️
Off into the sunset
Omg, just saw this. Josi, you’re adorable! The answer is actually really simple.
Now, who is Josephina, huh? Huh??
Lol, “Off into the sunset” — you do belong on the stage, lovely!