Zero Impact
Zero Impact.
This is the final state that you, as someone who has entangled with one of our kind has to aim for. This is what you ought to achieve in order to secure your freedom from our kind and you should make this your aim when embarking on your recovery and escape from us.
There is no denying that we have a significant effect on the lives of those we ensnare. Whether our victims are social, business, work, the provision of a service, familial and most of all romantic, the consequences of being ensnared one of our kind rarely pass without making a mark of some kind. With numerous victims they do not realise who they are ensnared with and suffer no real ill-effects from this dynamic. Their loyalty and periodic interaction with us means that devaluation does not occur and instead they find themselves entertained by us, recipients of our largesse, donees of our considerable abilities in certain fields.
Of more significant prominence are those people who find that they have been entangled with our kind and the list of effects on those people are wide-ranging and non-exhaustive. From seeing their self-worth eroded, their finances implode, their self-confidence shattered, their physical and mental health damaged, their relationships with other people removed or dented, their capability to engage in critical judgement impaired, the loss of their home, the loss of a job and much more besides the consequence of our targeting of that person – most often in a romantic dynamic – is substantial and wide-reaching. This person mourns the loss of the illusion they were granted for that oh too short period. They fear the re-appearance of our kind. They nurse wounds – both physical and psychological – arising from the abuse they sustained. They are anxious, lonely, nervous and apprehensive. They see our kind all around them. They are wary of engaging with people as a whole and cannot countenance ever becoming involved with another person romantically again.
Some individuals are robust and make better progress as they come out of the other side of their involvement with us. Other people struggle to make any headway at all and indeed all too often become plunged back into the turmoil of the Formal Relationship with us once again, seeing it as the only way to alleviate (if not permanently remove) the pain for a period of time.
Untangling yourself from our grip is a three stage process:-
- Understand. You need to know what it is you are dealing with. You need to understand why we do as we do and why we behave as we do with you. You need to understand what made you a target and what continues to make you a target for our kind. Understanding removes fear, it removes anxiety and it removes paralysis. The acquisition of knowledge – the right knowledge – is the foundation stone on which your escape and recovery has to be built.
- Counter. Once you know what you are dealing with, you recognise how we operate and you understand why, you can then apply this knowledge to counter us. For many this is the route of no contact. The ultimate way to escape our clutches. For others, for various reasons, no contact cannot be achieved and instead you need to evade, counter and minimise the effect of our manipulations on the occasions when you have to continue to interact with us.
- Zero Impact. Once you understand and counter you will then be in a position to ensure that we have zero impact on you. This does not mean you have nothing to do with us (that is part of the counter stage as mentioned above). Zero Impact means that whether you have no contact or whether there is some contact, you end up in a position whereby we no longer have any effect on you.
What does Zero Impact look like?
Zero Impact is not being numb. There are those who are traumatised by their experience with us that they in effect are left in a state of numbness. This is one of the reasons we dis-engage from you. If you can no longer function you are useless to us. You do not provide fuel, you have no character traits of use to us and your residual benefits either reduce or disappear altogether. Numbness does not last forever and once you begin to function again, subject to other considerations, we will be waiting in the wings to swoop once again and continue your torment. Numbness is a temporary but unwanted reprieve, since you are not just numb to us, but to other things also.
Zero Impact is whereby you are unaffected by us. There is no sense of anguish at the mention of our name. You are not perturbed by the prospect of attending a place where we may be also. You feel no anger, no shame, no pain or no longing for us. Your mind set is altered so that you do not experience the negative, you do not identify the worst that can happen or focus on the likely misery you will experience. All of the bad, the bane and the awful which came with our toxic touch is removed, banished and most of all kept at bay. You don that plate armour and no matter what we try to do and no matter what you have experienced in the past, the corrosive effect of our engagement with you will become nullified.
Zero Impact is not shutting yourself down. Zero Impact is not hiding away. Zero Impact is the creation of a state of being whereby knowing how we operate, think and do, you remain ahead of us, beyond our reach in terms of having any consequence for you. Knowing what we think, say and do in order to perpetuate our impact on you means that I am in prime position to explain to you how you are able to address this and turn the situation to your advantage. I know how we aim to continue to impact on you. I know what we need to do and how it is done so that our ill-effects live on. It is not a case of you becoming an automaton, but instead allowing you to remain the person that you are or the person you have recovered back to and bolting-on the armour of Zero Impact which will allow you to progress, to thrive and to be protected.
This is not healing. As I have explained, I am not a healer and there are plenty of others you may turn to if you identify a need to heal from what you have experienced. This is something entirely different. It is not about changing what you are but by adopting that suit of armour to repel our effects, consequences and impact. Zero Impact means shedding the toxic coating we layered you with and replacing it with an impervious shield which will preserve and protect.
That is Zero Impact and allying that with Understanding and Countering, you will achieve freedom. I know how to cause confusion. I know how to cause paralysis. I know how to create long-lasting consequence and by the same token I am able to explain to you how you avoid all of these.
How do you achieve Zero Impact?
That information is on its way.
148 thoughts on “Zero Impact”
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If the narc has perpetrated domestic violence against you in the past, or will physically touch you without consent if they run into you at a function to greet you, when you do not want them to and want to ignore them, how do you combat this and achieve zero impact?
You obtain the Zero Impact Assistance Package, that is what it is there for and if you get your skates on, you can obtain 45% discount off the cost of this excellent package.
Thank you HG
You are welcome.
Even knowing what he is – I can’t do it.
Only once in a while, for a short time, when it’s really obvious what he’s doing. But even then I feel sad and effected, because, why would he want to treat me that way. 🙁 (I know, fuel …. control …. but still …).
Also ignoring him for half a day is not really “zero impact” …
I have tried it with “being in the here and now”, with meditation – that does work as long as I can manage to stay in that state. But with all the practice I have had, I am far from being unaffected by his behaviours towards me, and I am far from “not reacting” or “don’t be suck into the drama” or “don’t be sucked into the pathology”.
🙁
The narc ways still take me by surprise, which is a bit ironic …
HG: So, you’ve been right, as always, I am still far too vulnerable. I feel more resilient, I take less attacks personally, but I react and am prone to the addiction stemming from abuse (highs and lows).
Ava there is a way out! Continue to talk to HT have personal conferences with him that is what did it for me. I am now engaged to a wonderful man a total empath like myself and I have never been happier. I was involved with my narcissist for 10 years often on often on and I thought I would never get out of the narcissistic cycle. But I think God that HG Help me through it and reading almost all of his books about 32 and reading his articles daily I was able to break away and have no contact. HG is right now contact is the only way I thought I could play with talking to him with an a while but H do you want to add to me why would you want to talk to a nurse assist is a sociopath and he was right. No contact is the only way and then you can start moving on with your life. Hg was my Xavier and I would not be where I am today without him and all the material that he provides for us please follow his instructions for one day you will be free to ❤️
Hello Victoria, good to see you again.
I’m sorry about some of the misspelled words I was dictating on Siri and she does not always get what I say. What I meant to say is that HG is always right about what not to do with the narcissist. Follow his advice exactly. You will be free.
HG as always it is my pleasure to pass on the outstanding and incredible work you do for all of us empaths! For me you were the brilliant healer I needed to first understand the narcissist and then to learn how to heal and move on. The only way as you stated to me many, many times was NO CONTACT! There is no substitution and nothing else works. So, for all my fellow empaths, follow HG’s advice to the letter-he is spot on.
Thanks again for all you have done for me-without you I would not be where I am today.
Always grateful and in your debt!
Thank you, Victoria!
I have understood what you wanted to write. ;D
I had made a resolution and a ritual at the end of last year to be and stay narc free for good and forever.
Problem is …. they keep popping up. I keep wondering if I just interprete every guy I meet as narcissistic, or if I react because of past experiences… but the current ex-live-in-narc really was a bit much. But I am gone now, and will stay no contact.
The guy I dated before him – I ditched after 2 dates and had blocked him completely immediately! The one before that after 1 date and a bit of texting / chatting. But life can’t go on like that.
So, the best thing about your comment though is that you say that you have your very own empath now! Congratulations, I am happy for you! I want one, too! Never meet any for myself, though. 🙁 But maybe I push them away, too. :/
Ava101,
I can totally relate to attracting Narcissit-I had my whole life. Of course I did not know they were narcissist until I found HG’s books on Amazon and then I joined this blog and then I had many conversations with the master-that was the ultimate because you spend one on one with him and he explains everything on what to do and not to do along with the reasons why. I felt so elated because It was the first time that anyone had said to me, “None of this was your fault” Whenever I varied from what he told me to do-it was a disaster. I also had to be by myself for about a year to heal from my narc and get strong again. The knowledge that I gained from this site, HG’s books and article and learning to listen to the red flags is what has kept me from getting involved again. Finally I was fortunate enough to meet another empath like me who had been married to a narcissist for 17 years-so I passed on the knowledge that I had gained from HG and he read a couple of his books and also understood that when we are involved with a narcissist the cycle of abuse is never ending. So I will leave you with what the master told me awhile ago: “it is better to loose a few good men than to risk being involved with another narcissist.
All the best-continue to speak with HG and he will guide you to freedom.
I can relate Ava101! I used to tell HG that most people were boring not as exciting as meeting a narcissist. so he told me to give them a chance that gradually I would find things in common and the excitement would come from a deeper place and level. As always he was right; I gave someone a chance and here we are. You will meet the right man for you when you least expect it. 🙂
Victoria
It’s great to read about your progress and happiness. Best to you.
NA
Thank you NarcAngel! I must give credit where credit is due-if not for HG and all of you on this blog I would not be where I am today. I love coming to this site and listening to all of you. I will always be connected to my fellow empaths!
“I am now engaged to a wonderful man a total empath like myself and I have never been happier.”
I love reading that, thank you for sharing.
A very nice profile picture, nunya biz! Depicting amongst other(s) my Goddess Aíne. 🙂
Thank you Ava! I am interested in this Goddess, I’ve not heard of her. Will look into it, I just love archetypes and symbolism and mythology, etc… as depictions of collective consciousness. It is the “Strength” tarot card, and my lifepath number 8, which is tied in to the infinity symbol as well. I like to look at the lion a beast that represents the internal and external .
So a year later I am still waiting for the Zero Impact Book….. please advise… thank you
Still in writing.
please hurry, lol….
Are you able to provide an ETA on
Awakened?
The “Spanked” Audio? (by special email request b4 Christmas)?
Asylum of the Grotesque?
Matrinarc?
The Creature?
Little Boy Lost?
(I know not tomorrow, the day after that, or probably next week…throw us a bone…maybe in time to celebrate 10 million hits? It’s creeping up)
No.
Have you read the article he wrote? Until the book is written those articles were a fantastic start.
HG,
I have accomplished step one and two but not quite at step three. Are you coming out with a “Zero Impact” book anytime soon? I really want to get to step three-its been 6 months and I feel better every day since speaking with you and reading your books. What can I do to speed up the process-another consultation to discuss achieving Zero Impact?
Please advice.
Thanks again and as always I love how you write-always on point!!
It is in hand.