The Empathic Supernova


What is the Empathic Supernova?

In order to detail this phenomenon, it is first necessary to consider when it might appear and what is behind its appearance.

The repeated application of our manipulations is deployed for the purposes of maintaining control over you. This control reinforces our notion of superiority,  omnipotence and impregnability and enables us to draw fuel from our appliances and most of all you as our primary source.

I have made mention of the Empathic Group, the group which lies to the left of the empathic-narcissistic spectrum and within this group there are three schools of the empathic individual; the Co-Dependent, the Super Empath and the Empath.

The sustained application of the many and varied manipulations produces results for us. It also takes its toll on our victims. The Co-Dependent will cling on, desperate for the self-definition which manifests as a consequence of their ensnarement with us. They will soak up the abuse, the confusion and the control until they reach a point of breakdown. The cumulative effect of the silent treatments, the gas lighting, the physical abuse, the psychological trauma, financial mistreatment and sexual degradation eventually causes the limpet-like Co-Dependent to collapse into numbness, malfunction and potential hospitalisation. They gave and gave until suddenly they fell off the cliff and their fuel provision remained impressive on Monday and by Tuesday it had stopped. No longer capable of pumping out fuel, attending to our requirements and showering us with appropriate traits and residual benefits, this failure to function invariably brings about the discard of this individual. The discarded Co-Dependent, although distraught at the loss of the narcissist which they crave, is in no position to try to bring about the resumption of the relationship and thus, whilst we focus on their replacement primary source, they are allowed a period by which they can recover and once the lights switch back on again and the fuel starts to pump, the devaluation of their replacement has begun, so we come looking and hoovering for the Co-Dependent. Unable to resist, because of the nature of the hoovering and their own vulnerability, they are hoovered back in and the narcissistic cycle continues.

Whilst third parties may try to assist the Co-Dependent to see and understand what has happened to them, their own substantial need to connect with a narcissist means it is very hard to make them take notice and stay away from us. Unless physically removed and isolated, the Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.

The empathic-narcissistic spectrum is a sliding scale that represents both empathic and narcissistic traits. On the far left the empathic traits are more numerous and stronger whilst the narcissistic traits are fewer and weaker. Move to the right and the empathic traits begin to lessen in number, their effects less evident and the narcissistic traits begin to increase and become more prevalent. Eventually, as one reaches the Narcissistic Group, on the right of this spectrum, the empathic traits have disappeared and all that remain are narcissistic traits which become more numerous and stronger the further right one goes within this Narcissistic Group.

Accordingly, with the Co-Dependent, he or she will have many empathic traits and they are strong in nature. Their devotion to love, their honesty, decency, excellent listening skills, positivity etc are most evident and contribute to create a highly empathic individual. The narcissistic traits are almost invisible and the few that exist are weak. Accordingly, this prevalence of empathic traits attracts and is attracted to the prevalence of extensive and strong narcissistic traits. They locked together, complementing one another and consequently the Co-Dependent is inexorably drawn to those within the Narcissistic Group, with next to nothing in terms of their own narcissistic traits to act as some kind of repellant.

The Empath may also find themselves shutting down, but more usually they are prevented from reaching a position of complete numbing though the intervention of a third party. Sure enough the toll exacted on the Empath is considerable and has damaging consequences, but, in general, they manage to avoid more often the fate of the Co-Dependent. Instead, rather than giving and giving until shut down occurs (as is the case with the Co-Dependent) the Empath’s performance deteriorates in terms of fuel output in a more gradual fashion which means that when it dips below a threshold of acceptability for our kind, the Empath is also discarded. Not so damaged as to be unable to function, the Empath will endeavour to re-connect with our kind, having sufficient energy and ability to do so, but they will be shunned as part of this discard until it is time to hoover them. Unaware of what they have been ensnared by and with capabilities improved after a period of respite arising from the discard, the Empath is sucked back in by the narcissist and thus the narcissistic cycle continues.

The Empath however may also realise that something is wrong, or assisted by third parties and more amenable to listening, takes notice of what these third parties are telling him or her. They have a moment of ‘awakening’ and with that realise that they must remain away from our grip, however hurtful and hard it may be and thus they eventually escape, putting distance between them and our kind.

The Empath has numerous empathic traits and they are of strength but they are not on the same scale as the Co-Dependent. The Empath will have some narcissistic traits, not many and not especially strong in nature, but they will have more narcissistic traits than the Co-Dependent. Their status as an Empath (along with the fact that there are more Empaths than Co-Dependents) means that Empaths become the bread and butter target for our kind. They too are attracted to us, not with the almost hopeless vulnerability of the Co-Dependent, but they remain not only attracted to our kind but a target.

Finally, there is the Super Empath. The Super Empath is an excellent provider of fuel also and comes with a confidence and a fieriness which proves most tempting to our kind. The Super Empath sees his or her role as helping, fixing, healing and brining goodness to those around them. They have considerable energy, they are capable and their capacity for sustaining our abuses also makes them a considerably attractive prospect. The Co-Dependent can sustain considerable abuse until suddenly, like a light being extinguished, that is it. The Empath also can sustain our manipulations but their slide is slower and more gradual. The Super Empath, blessed with a vast capacity for empathy and goodness is also somebody who can sustain a lengthy campaign of abuse. There is no slide downwards with this individual like the Empath. There is no sudden collapse like the Co-Dependent. Instead the Super Empath goes in to Supernova mode.

The trait make-up of the Super Empath is different from their cousins in the Empathic Group. Whereas the Co-Dependent has strong and many empathic traits with little and low narcissistic traits and the Empath has few and fairly low narcissistic traits but more and quite strong empathic traits, the Super Empath has a different constitution.

The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Empath.

This arrangement is not problematic. Liken the Super Empath’s narcissistic make-up to the light from a candle and their empathic make-up the light from a spotlight. The intensity of the spotlight is so bright that the candle light is barely noticed. Accordingly, the narcissistic element to the Super Empath does not appear. The Super Empath behaves in an empathic way and thus is a target for our kind.

There comes a time however when the sustained abuse and the awareness of the Super Empath reaches a critical point. Rather than switch off or slide into decline, the Super Empath will decide that enough is enough. In some instances, this means that the Super Empath will escape and follow a similar route to that of the Empath and distance themselves from the narcissist.

On other occasions they enter into Supernova mode. When this happens, the Super Empath will dim their empathic traits. This can only be dimming. The empathic traits cannot be shut off as they are wired into the empath’s dna. Moreover, this dimming can only continue for a period of time and is not permanent. The naturally strong empathic nature of the Super Empath means that it will blaze bright again.

However, when this dimming takes places, the gap between empathy and narcissism in the Super Empath lessens so that the narcissistic traits are more prevalent. They do not dominate nor do they take over, but they are allowed to ‘shine’. However, whereas in our kind the application of our narcissistic traits is unfettered since we have no empathic traits and thus these traits are directed in a malevolent, harmful and destructive manner, the Super Empath uses these unleashed narcissistic traits for ‘good’.

This means that they will fight back against our kind and remain in the relationship with us. They will shut off the fuel provision, they will engage in manipulation of us, having learned how to effect it form their accompanying journey with out kind. The Super Empath will wound and wound, striking blow upon blow against the narcissist.  It is worth pointing out that the Super Empath does not necessarily know that they are with a narcissist (they may only realise this later) but rather they know that something is very wrong in the relationship and it must no longer continue.

Thus when some people ask the question

“Can you become a narcissist from being with a narcissist?”


“Can I pick up narcissistic traits from my experience of being entangled with a narcissist?”

The answer remains no.

But, if you find that you are exhibiting such traits and you are deploying them against the narcissist, what has happened is that you are allowing your inherent narcissistic traits to have greater prominence. You keep them under control and you are not allowing them to harm or hurt innocent parties, but rather you are applying them against the narcissist in order to strike back. You always had these traits, you have not gained them by being with us, but what you have learned is how to manipulate from being with us and now you are turning those manipulations against us.

The effect against us is varied.

The Lesser Narcissist will discard immediately with a display of ignited fury as he seeks to escape the turning of the tables. He will need to get away from this empowered Super Empath and find a new primary source straight away. He wants to shrink from this blazing  supernova of power which is causing him considerable difficulty through the cessation of fuel and the wounding from repeated criticism.

The Mid-Range Narcissist will find himself in a tormented loop as he tries to assert control. He will not comprehend truly what is happening. He will not want to lose the Super Empath owing to the fuel provision, but he is finding that his ability to manipulate and the reasonable degree of calculation that he has, is being sorely tested. He will try to assert his control through passive aggressive means, even pleading with the Super Empath to stop and ‘why can’t you be good to me again’? He will roll out the pity plays and sympathy cards in order to try to achieve superiority again. However,  either the Super Empath decides to escape and leaves the Mid-Ranger in a confused and bewildered state or the Mid-Ranger slinks away and discards,unable to sustain the fight and needing a new and far more compliant primary source.

The Greater Narcissist will rail against this insurrection and fight back. He will draw on fuel from alternative sources (usually the IPSS or IPSSs he has in the wings along with fuel form those NISS who are his inner and outer circle friends). He will relish the challenge shown by the Super Empath and a real battle of wills ensues as each combatant deploys manipulation after manipulation against one another. This hammer and tongs clash of the  titans sees the Super Empath applying what they have learned, similar to the apprentice turning on his or her master, as the old hand seeks to slap down the irreverent upstart. The Super Empath may withdraw and escape, satisfied that they have made their mark and scarred the Greater. The Greater may ultimately recognise that only a stalemate (for now) can ensue and breaks off, discarding the Super Empath and focusses on the acquisition of a new primary source (or more likely the promotion of an already ensnared IPSS). The Greater however will not leave matters there. A note will be made to rejoin battle in due course and bring the Super Empath to heel.

Thus the Empathic Supernova is when the Super Empath determines that enough is enough and he or she reduces their empathic traits, allowing the narcissistic traits to come to the fore and in so doing he or she trains their sights on making life difficult, miserable and awkward for the narcissist. This is why our kind proceed with caution with the Super Empath. Their capacity for sucking up the abusive devaluation and their impressive fuel provision is tempting indeed, but reaching the critical point and causing the ignition of the Empathic Supernova can have dire consequences for our kind.

Not for me of course. I relish the challenge and the assertion of hegemonic dominance. Obviously.


96 thoughts on “The Empathic Supernova”

      1. HG
        But you said that the Emphat will get in a super nova mode after she had enough if the abuse and she will fight back ( like, i think i am doing)
        Therefore, how can you asses her before that?


      2. One recognises the strength of traits in an individual to gauge the capacity for being able to do this. It is not an exact science of course, but repeated involvement with empathic people allows me to identify those who would be co-dependent, those who are standard empaths, those who are super empaths and to then identify the traits of the cadres as well. Once you know what you are looking for, it is not especially difficult.


  1. Today I learn again…. I was told by “professionals” and treated as such, that I was co-dependant …. According to what you have revealed here, I AM NOT co-dependant! F**k, no wonder I wasn’t “getting better”! So called “good drs”?…. I am done with them!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I was never labeled codependent but I think they thought as much. Like said below, I turned brutal. Utterly brutal. Pay back was a bitch. But I was still trapped for a long time. And it was not codependency. Traits maybe but not codependent

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi Ms Brown,
      I think sharing it is a good idea. It will stimulate good discussion for sure and perhaps will introduce them to HGs fine work. As a professional in the psych field with lots of personal and professional experience with codependency, having partners with addiction/alcoholism and narcissists , I do wish to give this bit of info to you as a heads up, as it is defined differently depending on who you talk to. HG defines codependents differently that the originators of the use of the term. It was created by 12 step traditions and those who worked with toxic family dynamics with a member in the family having an addiction/alcoholism and its impact on the whole fam. It has since branched out and is used descriptively to describe a person that feels they can control another human being’s behavior and their own happiness relies on that other person’s behavior. That is the traditional definition in a rough summery. Because it isn’t a diagnosis, but a cluster of traits, it can vary in use. I fell into the traditional definition but not HGs definition. Once I realized I could not control or change anyone but myself and I didn’t rest my happiness on whether someone else is sober or is kind, or any other behavior, I showed less codependency behaviors and thinking. Once I realized I couldn’t save anyone but myself, l became less codependent and left. It’s about having boundaries too. I was far from weak, never in need of hospital and ran the family. I hurt deeply though and needed to change. Let Go, Let God got me thru along with the serenity prayer and oddly enough, my training. Some therapists/psychologists are great and others, well, let’s just say I would waste my money and wouldn’t refer an enemy to…

      The use of the word gets fuzzy these days. So, just an FYI they may be coming from a 12 step perspective.

      Just my 2 cents.


      1. Hi Indy. Thanks for the definition. Would you agree that co dependancy stems from a self love deficit? I’ve also been told that this is what made me susceptible to narcissistic abuse but I just don’t feel that I fall into this definition. I’m undoubtedly an empath but I always felt I had a healthy level of narcissism. My downfall to me is in the definition and implementation of boundaries and recognition and acceptance of certain emotions within myself. Your description of codependancy as a cluster of traits makes more sense to me as I clearly display some traits but not others.


      2. Hi DJ,
        That is partly it, yes, for sure. Though co-dependence is not just low self esteem/self-worth, though they do go hand in hand. Since this is HGs blog, I do wish to respect that he has his definitions and uses this term in a very specific manner here. I do not wish to disrespect it by plugging the mental health/12- step definitions too much, out of that respect.

        With that said, I do think it is important for folks that have been told they are “co-dependent” by mental health providers that the definitions used are likely different from one another. I was originally confused when I came here by the difference and now I understand more, it is HGs way of organizing the different players in the interactions. I have some opions on the use of the name, given the confusion that arises, though, to be honest, this happens in diagnostics too in general.
        To comment further, I would only do so with HGs permission as I highly value his work in narcissism and sociopathic behaviors and he has personally helped me get out by his amazing work. As such, I am reluctant to say more unless approved by him. I sense it may overstep a boundary in this blog, though I hope not. Either way, I will respect his wishes on this.
        HG? Is my bringing up and highlighting the differences in the definition of co-dependence too confusing and in conflict with this blog? If so, I will avoid commenting further.
        Thank you in advance for your response,


      3. Indy, “let go, let God” is my favorite of the al-anon sayings too! For many years my mother in law had it on a bumper sticker on the back of her car. I thought it was the stupidest saying I’d ever heard! Then one day I saw it and it made total sense to me. It’s been the basis of my personal philosophy ever since.
        As we grow and change over time, our awareness changes too. For many years my father in law tried to beat into my head that the only person who could make me upset was myself. No one else – no matter what horrible things they did. Only I controlled my emotions. Took a long time for that one to sink in too.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Me too, me too. It took a long time for me to understand that lesson and that I had no power over others with regard to them changing. I can only change myself. I also adore the serenity prayer. When I first learned it, I used to mess up and instead of “saying God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” , I would start off by saying, “God grant me the power”…LOL…..And, that was the problem!!! I wanted the power to change others…LOL. Silly me!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yeah, Indy, I know what you mean. I never wanted the power to change others, but I wanted them to wake up and change their behavior to stop making me unhappy. My father in law was constantly telling me that no one ever made me upset, I just allowed myself to become upset. I fought that concept for years!! But he was right. Once I understood that, my life became so much happier and joyful! My father in law was the most dangerous narc I’ve ever personally known, but he was very wise!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Indeed, wise. And Sounds like someone I would not wish to anger. Sounds like somebody we know that likes to moderate blogs😉


      7. Hi Indy,
        I would love to read your definitions and variations on the names. I did not see Mr. Tudor say ‘no’. So please do so. I’ve never been diagnosed as a co-dependent by any of my therapists, yet I completely fit the description of a codependent as defined by Mr. Tudor.
        “Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.” I never go back to the original but have invariably sought new relationships with only narcs.
        It is interesting how most commentators treat the word ‘codependent’ like a filthy curse. I don’t have any problem being called one. Yes, I’ve been one – and most likely am still one. I am definitely practicing more self love and care now – yet I cannot deny who I am nor what I am drawn to. I do not aspire to be a Super empath, super nova, super hero. I have no desire to unleash cold or hot or lukewarm narcy fury on any of my former lovers. Nor do I see myself becoming an empath warrior fighting all narc villains of this world.


    3. I’ve been through this too ‘if he’s a narc you must be co dependant’ thinking by so called professionals. I turned the tables on him big time before my escape and spent a while wondering if I was the narc. Thank you again HG another penny has dropped 🙂


  2. Thank you so much for this description HG. For the longest time I did in fact wonder if I had turned narcissistic ( tho my therapist assured me I had not) I wounded him, delivering blow after blow, I dimmed my empathy and almost acted robotic, giving nothing but a blank slate emotionally. I still do this concerning him ( when he makes feeble attempts at reappearances)and will continue to do so if I deem necessary. A huge part of me hates being this way, it feels unatural to how I prefer to relate to others. But I realize now it’s a mechanism I use to protect myself and my family. They are stong boundaries and are necessary to keep him far away. Tho I do wish it didn’t have to be this way, it is key to my survival. I am just glad I don’t have to be this way all the time in every aspect in my life. Ahhh good stuff HG, thank u, thank u.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I didn’t have the “courtesy of asking”, I assumed this blog was public? As a side note, I ALWAYS make sure you get the credit when I share… my apologies


  3. This clearly and more than likely must explain why his wife has not left his sorry ass. I still need to go and find that article on the types of empath from that post earlier this morning.


    1. They tend to provide a lot of fuel even when fighting back. When they wound, it tends to be repeated for instance in having the strength of resolve to keep ignoring a narcissist rather than giving in.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I sometimes wonder if he has ever had someone fight back like me. For some reason, I think not. I think he picks ones who equally need to use him so they have a high tolerance as long as they can get something from him ( money or things), ones who will just leave without any clue what happened but they know they were hurt and betrayed, and then probably a few like me. I had the resolve to not ever back down, even in my fighting. Pretty much made it clear in the end, that until he came clean, I never, ever would give in. He set up similar boundaries with me. Ergo. Final Goodbye happened.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. and that was me and I didn’t even know it… what was my “breakdown” and told I am co-dependant was really my resurrection rebound of hell hath no fury…
        I am NOT co-dependent! I do not give in! I am ZERO IMPACT. I WAS Supernova… FUCK these doctors and I owe HG for setting me free with the truth…


      3. In such a case..when the Super Empath goes intonSuper Nova and keeps fighting back: is it ” Challenge Fuel” that keeps the narcissist going on? I think you have mentioned this Challenge Fuel somewher but I can’t find it..could please expand on this type of “fuel”?


  4. Hi HG, I have posted this before but don’t know if it ever reached you because I am a semi Luddite but to me the ultimate representation of the empathic supernova is the scene in The Equalizer where Denzel tries to free a young prostitute he’s come to feel very protective of from the clutches of the Russian mafia by attempting to pay the head Russian asshole/pimp $9800 to leave her alone. He humiliates Denzel in true malignant narc fashion. What happens next is a thing of beauty for all of us super empaths who truly can call upon our tremendous fury to exact retribution. By the way I would be very curious to know how you size up the narcissistic potential of the super empath so soon after meeting her. I do not think anyone meeting me has ever been able to see what lurks on the other side if they cross a certain line.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m not sure who I’m anymore… He keep sharing with me all those things he does to other woman like I’m his confidant. Its sickening; yet I can’t stop myself from talking to him.


    1. Hello polgal:)I do hope I am not overstepping ( or sounding too much like a groupie lol) I know HGs advice will be helpful. But also I want to mention that his book Exorsism is an amazing source for knowledge of purifying yourself of the addiction. Hope you don’t mind me mentioning so HG.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Heed HG’s advice… if you must do a personal consult DO IT! HG will make you understand… you will learn who you are and what the “other ” is and how to deal.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Sigrid Don’t kill my vibe
      Paramore Hard times

      These songs will help with strength from the words. Keep at it as there is a wonderful wored when narcs are not welcome anymore. 😃


  6. Actually, I think you are incredibly right about the light analogy. I guess I do have narcissistic streaks (and learned outward behaviour, from my parents) and I do fight for myself when necessary – but it’s a constant effort, I don’t like it and I don’t like putting myself in the center. I have to do that consciously.
    So … the other part comes back with a vengeance actually and even longs for submission. In a certain setting. While I have a real problem with any kind of authority at the same time and don’t accept anybody “above” me. Different parts of me, I guess. Or one part conditioning, one part learned behaviour, one part survival instinct … etc. …. I don’t know.
    But I would like to add that some wounding behaviours might be more “normal” range than narcissistic.Or both.


  7. This reinvigorated me, as I’ve been down the last few days and thinking about my ex narc way too much.

    I described me and my ex narc in our relationship on this blog without the labels. He was definitely a mid-ranger and I’m a super empath. Our relationship went exactly as HG outlined it — down to the discard.

    My constitution is weaker now than it was while I was in tangled with the narc, in terms of sometimes longing for him.

    I resisted giving in to his pitiful need for all the attention all the time and I know now that I wounded him repeatedly. (Watch out bitch! I bring the supernova!!)

    That makes me feel good. I smile.

    Thank you HG.


  8. Wow! This article is a bit of an eye opener for me. I have recently told my husband to leave two weeks ago. I have been trying to figure out his behavior over the years, I think he specializes in gaslighting and denial. To much to go into details here. But I have always considered myself empathic, but after going through cancer, I began to call him and a “friend” on bad behavior and fight back. I thought I maybe the narcissist. Now I am thinking Super Empath…I take so much then watch out! Thanks for the insight!


    1. Hi, Narckedout.
      If you possibly can, try an email consult with HG.
      He will set you right and lift the confusion. He did me. 😊


  9. The year of 2015 I held back a fair amount of fuel and became very, very mean. As nonchalantly as possible, I just kept insulting him. Six months into 2015, he seemed very distressed one day and blurted out, “I can figure everyone out, but you. You are the only person I just can’t figure out.” I asked, “What do you mean?” No response. Towards the end of 2015 he made this odd statement, “Everyone plays the game but you. You are the only one that doesn’t play.” I looked at him and said, “What game are you talking about?” He just repeated, “The game.” On May 7th 2016 he couldn’t pack and get out fast enough. Poof! He was gone!

    Bye bye Felicia.


      1. I got “what is it with you always asking me what I think of it when I ask you the question”. My counselling skills came in handy. Idiot. Bye bye for good. That means don’t try and hoover. I told him shit lives in shit. He said I know it’s not nice where I live. Any normal would not act like that. Honestly you narcs, we got you sussed.


  10. This article is gold, thank you HG. About time you shined some light on us Supers 😉
    It has always puzzled me why/how I could turn on and off my own narc traits… an aaha moment for me. Haha each time he has tried a hoover I’ve managed to turn it round and discard him! Peace n quiet now for 3 months 🕉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This describes the situation I found myself in and the way I began to deal with him. I really learned how to fight back with some of his own tactics and some he was unfamiliar with. I know I wounded and confused the hell out of him repeatedly but it was in self defense! It felt both empowering and horrible, like I wasn’t being true to myself and I know he was at a loss for how to regain his control. I really was afraid I was becoming just like him and yet what options did I have? Enough is enough. I’m happy to know I wasn’t ever truly like him.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Patricia, I was the same. Wounded the hell out of him. He once told me that I scared him lol. I think I actually did. I was expert at the silent treatment and would fight back like hell even though I never understood what I was fighting about!
      I got to the point that I enjoyed humiliating and patronising him. Not me at all and I really did worry I’d become a Narc until HG pointed out that I was only like it with the ex. Self defence.
      I’ve never agreed with the saying ‘respect has to be earned’ with me DISrespect has to be earned. I respect everyone until they lose it. He did. Rapidly.
      The one thing it did teach me was that I never knew I had so much fight in me and that my narc traits existed. I would have denied that before the ex as they had never surfaced before. I still don’t know how I feel about that but at least it’s comforting to know I can fight hard when I need to.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Exactly!! They underestimated us, We may love them and have tons of compassion but we matter too. The best was calmly humiliating him in front of someone. That was especially satisfying because it was such long time coming and he had no idea I was capable of such behavior and neither did I honestly but there’s no way I could allow him to keep treating me as though I were less important. I put up with it for way longer than I should have. If only I had realized what he was, I would have retaliated sooner.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you HG. This is an incredibly liberating and empowering read. And this helped me in my healing. I still feel vulnerable and I feel like I would be hurt easily. I have read this one many times. It makes me feel strong, and I now know I can fight back and I know how I fought back. Thank you.
    I hope your therapy is effective, so you can use your knowledge and deploy it for good even more than you do now. You will probably always be a narcissist, it’s not curable. But maybe it will keep the creature in the mirror from appearing.


  13. Blow after blow of non-emotional criticism wears the narcissist down. And too, the empath uses his own manipulations against him while his ego completely blinds him like a wall before his eyes. He has no idea and it seems the smarter he is the easier it is to trick him. The smart ones are easy because they underestimate their prey — ego. The empath in the supernova event turns the tables on the narcissist. It reminds of a song as though it’s the narcissist’s new song:

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hello Mr T. If the codependent is far left and the greater is far right. Who is right in the middle? Shouldnt there be something inbetween super empath and lesser narc so there can be a personality type right in the middle? Or is the middle point the ” normal” person who can be empathic at times and narcissistic at times?


    1. In the centre ground you find the ‘normals’ and the ‘apaths’. The normals are those with few and low narcissistic and empathic traits. The apaths have particularly low empathic traits which causes them in effect to be blind to the suffering of others although they do not engage in causing that suffering themselves. They have a head down, ‘not my problem’ mentality.


  15. So, then I think that the empathic supernova is the sum of everything.
    I hope they keep theirselves in the light or they can be very dangerous.
    But normally, they are all good. right?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Agree. Alls good if your nother a narc, actually it is OK with a narc for a period of time until they take advantage just that little bit too much. The one I knew ran away and blocked me when the tables turned. Shame he can give but not take as could have been real fun for a good bit longer 😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. SVR, I could not figure out what the hell was going on after the love bomb phase. It was a challenge… But not one I would like to ever take again. Don’t get me wrong, he was very, very exciting and the sex was very, very addictive. But once I figured out he was actually trying to hurt me psychologically that’s when I stopped playing nice.

        Had I only known what he was — and I hate to say this — but I would have given him the kind of fuel that he needed for a while longer. It was an exciting ride, and dammit(!) I wasn’t ready to be disengaged.


      3. I wouldn’t go that far … if the ex-narc and I were in proximity I would be in grave danger.

        I’m sure he would Hoover me after healing his wounds and I’d still play, putting myself in the midst of all kinds of mayhem, and even though he didn’t show signs of being violent towards me, I was aware that he had a violent temper. Narcs are nothing to be played with. I had a greater on my hands, I now realize. {{{shudder}}}

        Liked by 1 person

  16. So, I’ve read this post three or four times. This time I picked up on the use of hegemonic dominance. Up until this point, I thought I was dealing with a mid range narcissist, now I believe he was a greater. Chills. I didn’t know I was in real danger. Not so much the physical kind, but definitely the psychological kind. He absolutely (resolutely?) believed in male superiority and walked the earth as if he owned it. All of his male friends were subjugated in his presence. All eyes on him. What a bastard.


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