Remember Remember

You may be familiar with our selective amnesia as we demonstrate that staggering ability to forget something that you said only that morning, or a contradictory comment we made just five minutes ago. The number of times, when we are exerting our manipulative hold over you, we will announce:-

“I cannot remember that.”

“I had forgotten to do it.”

“I don’t recall that being the case.”

“I do not remember ever agreeing to do that.”

“It slipped my mind as it was not important.”

“I have no memory of what you are talking about.”

In our customary manner it is designed to bewilder you and confuse you and of course to draw a response from you that provides us with fuel. Of course, when it comes to advancing our own agenda then our memory suddenly becomes elephantine. We cannot recall the conversation we had two days ago about you going out with friends this evening but we do remember telling you six months ago that we do not like kidney beans and you have used them in the meal on purpose, despite our clear assertion that we do not enjoy eating them. Our powers of recall become especially impressive when it comes to recounting everything that we have done for you. You will be familiar with refrains such as:-

“After everything I have done for you and then you do this.”

“All the support I have shown you in the past and you say that to me.”

“Let me tell you how many times I have taken you out.”

“If I can just remind you of how much I have actually contributed.”

We will then with stunning accuracy, or at least it appears that way, reel off all of the gifts we have given you, the various places we have taken you and all those delightful acts we carried out in order to seduce you. One after another we will recount times, dates and places as if we were reading them straight from our diaries. Of course because it is all about what we have done it is etched into our memories, ready to be called up at a moment’s notice and detailed to you.

It is not just our occasions of largesse and benevolence that are carved into our memories, our ability to call upon vast depositories of knowledge about your transgressions is similarly astonishing. We will remind you that you ate one extra biscuit from the tin that we did two weeks ago in order to reinforce our point that you are greedy. We are able to tell you how many times you have turned up late and spoilt the evening. We recall your failures, breaches, shortcomings and misdemeanours with remarkable accuracy just as if we were reading a charge sheet to you. Whilst it is true we do have considerable powers of memory, it is another illusory act on our behalf. When you are subjected to these tirades about how many times you have failed to do the right thing, you will be caught in our crossfire of manipulative wiles. Your own recall and critical thinking will be significantly impaired. The way we rattle off these instances without giving you time to think let alone respond leaves you disorientated and naturally we say all of these things in our imperious and authoritative manner. You accept we must be right because we say it with such certainty, with considerable conviction and you are now struggling to remember what you ate for dinner the previous evening, so with increasing resignation you accept what we are saying. The reality is that much of what we are accusing you of from our list of wrongs committed by you is fabricated. We pluck them out of thin air but they sound plausible because you vaguely remember us harping on a little while ago about the fact you did not have dinner on time. In fact on that last occasion that was a fabrication as well, but we do it so often you can no longer distinguish between reality and fallacy. Just as we plan.

Our tremendous memory banks are also put into use when we remember your various weaknesses and vulnerabilities. We probed you for them using our subtle techniques of questioning and the false exhibition of supposed interest and caring when we seduced you. Each instance whereby you admitted to or gave a hint of some weakness was always noted and carefully filed away ready to be drawn upon at a later stage and used against you. Often this is so subtle, both in collection and use, that you do not even notice, but where we might use the weakness with a lack of finesse you will find yourself amazed that we even knew this about you, let alone remembered it. We ensure we extract these vulnerabilities and carefully store them as they are each golden nuggets of oppression that we need to rely on when your downfall begins.

Although we may demonstrate a vagueness about certain events in our past and refer to those happenings in an amorphous manner should you press us about the distant times and our formative years, the reality is what happened then is never forgotten either. We wish they could be but those memories occasionally rise up at us from the rolling mists of the past and try to drag us back to that period which we would rather consign into the archives of our mind with the archive door closed and bolted shut and no index card filed for those instances. No, nothing is ever forgotten.

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17 Comments

  1. If he didn’t want to answer a question, he would always say he didn’t remember. Or he would change the subject.

  2. Sounds interesting, but the final outcome remains the same, no? Always wash, rinse, spin and repeat.

    I bet those borderlines find you playful too, that is until you play the rage card. Then, the B leaves again — waiting for the washing machine to reset itself back to wash.

    God, I hate these appliance references…

  3. HG…
    Can you do more specifically on the Female versions of your type? Not complaining…I do realize you have quite a following of women targets/victims. Although there might be a smaller percentage of us guys…would you be able to provide some insight and comparisons?

    (as a side note…I remember reading that you enjoyed and occaisionally targeted Borderlines. I’ve read elsewhere that narcs are no match for a borderline? Could you elaborate on this?

    1. Essentially nearly everything that I write about is applicable to all genders, I write most of the time using he for the narcissist and she for the victim as that is the majority situation. I will be writing about some of the differences in due course.

      It may be the case that some Lessers and some Mid-Range may struggle with borderlines, but I find them entertaining as a play thing. This will be covered in Asylum of the Grotesque.

  4. I too can go head to head if the battle of who and when has transgressed worse. Of course after I would wind JN up that way, I would be called bat sh*t crazy and then get a silent treatment.

  5. Hello HG. What if the IPPS has an excellent memory as well and argues with you? Would it ignite the fury? Would you come to blows or just try to scare her? What if she fought you back? How would you handle it?

      1. Thank you. I always knew I was a challenge. Don’t be cheeky HG and say “you are definitely challenged” like my Narc brother would.

  6. Don’t forget the contradiction!!! Oh the contradiction and how it made my head spin….

    First: “What? My ex? I stopped talking to her forever….”
    Later: “What? My ex? Why would I stop talking to her? I care for her and am there for her when she needs me!”

    First: (Sends me daily media of what he is doing from the trip to the bank to deposit money to how his voice is 2 octaves lower because he has a cold)
    Later: “We are to stop sending media back and forth. No selfies, no video, no audio recordings. I do not like making recordings like that!”

    First: “I am not going to cut my hair.”
    Later: (sends selfie of his new haircut, after saying no more selfies are to be exchanged between us) “So what do you think? This short hair is way better than the long hair!”
    Later again: Grows hair back. Asks me if I like it. I tell him I’ve always loved his long hair.
    Later (before I see him): “I need to get a haircut!”
    Even Later: “Look at my driver’s license! This is the last time I will ever see myself with long hair. It makes me kind of sad that I cut it all off!”

    Oh and my all time favorite…..
    First: “Ben Affleck as Batman? That was the worst idea ever!”
    Later, when I mentioned his earlier comment and told a joke about it. He seemed taken aback and questioned why I would say such a thing. “Be Affleck was BRILLIANT as Batman! What are you talking about? Why would you say that?”
    I reminded him what he originally said and he denied ever saying it.

    Oh and I can go on and on. The king of contradiction.

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