Love Is a Taught Construct
How do you know how to love? Did you sit wide-eyed in front a large screen as colourful costumed characters hugged one another to a saccharine sound-track so this imbued you with the concept of what love was? Did those cartoon characters explain to you what it is to love? Did their exaggerated voices and crazy antics, followed by the moral of the story teach you what love is? Perhaps you read about it in love, heard it in songs and studied the many ways in which this ultimate emotion appears and affects people. Chances are that you have been affected by those hugely affecting passages from the great works dedicated to love. Chances are you have been captured by haunting lyrics and catchy jingles which also profess to tell you what love is. They have all played a part. You may have learned about love from the version churned out by the media, of Hollywood romance, dashing heroes, fair maidens, tarts with golden hearts, the good man who rides to the rescue, the wayward soul saved by love. Love may have been explained to you from the pulpit as a higher love, something which transcends all earthly manifestations, a love so powerful and complete that it sacrificed its only son in order to demonstrate its love for humankind. This godly love is all around you, it touches each and all and is mighty in its effects. Love may have been learned from furtive fumbles down alleyways, sneaking into bedrooms when so young, the exploration of warm and urgent body parts accompanied by those every so sincere protestations of love. A haphazard journey through galloping teen years as nothing and everything makes sense all at once. Then again, love might have appeared to you in the form of something small and furry, an unconditional (so long as it was fed) love which was loyal, giving and ever so cute. So many erudite tutors, learned lecturers and wise proponents of what love is. Love thy neighbour, love yourself, love is all you need, woman in love, it must have been love, crazy little thing called love, to know him is to love him, we found love, how deep is your love? Love is all around us, in us, between us, lifting us up and letting us down. It is everywhere and you may well have been taught by many of the above and more besides as to what love is.
However, love most likely will have been taught to you by those who created you, those two people who came together and through their own pleasure created you. Two people who decided that they would shoulder the responsibility of creating life, nurturing it and bringing a new person into the world. Those two people accepted many, many responsibilities from such a decision and act. Chief among them was the responsibility of teaching that person what love is. Through their offices they have furnished each and every one of us with the notion of what love is. A deep-seated and visceral understanding of this is how love feels, this is what it looks like, this is what it sounds like. This is love. From those two people more than anything else we are first grounded in the concept of what love is. This grounding lasts a considerable time and whilst there are other factors to be considered, as I have mentioned above, it is this lesson which is learnt invariably first and the one lesson which resonates beyond all others. So often we are in their hands when it comes to being taught about love. So, what is this taught love? It has so many, many facets.
Love is being told to never trust anybody.
Love is being made to re-write the entire essay because of one spelling mistake.
Love is being sent to stand outside on a cold winter’s day until all three verses of Ode to Autumn are recited correctly.
Love is knowing nothing is ever good enough.
Love is understanding that someone else knows better than you what is best for you.
Love is turning away from the reality.
Love is standing straight against a wall for several hours for speaking out of turn.
Love is for the weak.
Love is being told that when I am gone nobody else will look out for you.
Love is succeeding.
Love is building a wall as high as possible.
Love is trying until it hurts and gaining that final curt nod of approval.
Love is being seen and not heard.
Love is fulfilling your potential and securing that legacy.
Love is hurting you even though it hurts me, but someone in this household has to do it and it won’t be him will it?
Love is reading to yourself than being read to.
Love is living in the shadows and hoping not to be noticed.
Love is being the best.
Love is the preserve of the powerful.
Love is being denied a birthday party because the other children are too stupid.
Love is being undermined in order to prevent conceit.
Love is a begrudged recognition and the injunction to try harder, go further, climb higher, run faster, study longer.
Love is burning your hand but not crying.
Love is don’t tell anybody about our secret.
Love is a righteous beating.
Love is being distant and pretending things never happened.
Love is being sent away.
Love is not being told.
Love is splendid isolation.
Love was taught this way.
343 thoughts on “Love Is a Taught Construct”
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Loving how more and more of you beautiful ladies are uploading a profile pic now. I am just not that brave. I worry that my ex would come across this site…if he has looked at my FB at all then it’s very possible. This is my safe place to say everything I wasn’t able to say to him.
Klm…i strongly suspect my narc knows thru fb im on here. It would explain a few things. Hes brought up terms relating to narcissism as well so id not be too surprised. I cant worry about it tho. I find facebook very annoying in how you cant make it 100% private. You need a course on it to maneuver the settings. If you like comments they can show up to others on your list and also your most visited pages too.
It’s ok KLM. If I go dim all of a sudden, it would mean that I think JN could have stumbled on this. I get it!
What I find in seeing all the faces behind the words and great personalities is all walks of life by demographic and economic status is affected. Everyone is accepted here. ❤
Thank you superxena. You were both helpful and reassuring. I kind of figured that was probably it with the comments. I just wonder if that is why some people may misinterpret other people’s comments because it can get all mixed up lol
Your welcome Klm!
I wonder if that sweet little boy in the picture grew up to be 6′ 1 and is still playing hide and seek.
I’m unclear on what the acquisition of traits actually feels like to a narcissist.
Are we like a TV show you get addicted to because life is so empty for you??
And when you lose us, do you forget that trait and what it is like to imitate it?
It must be so exhausting being a full time actor with no compass.
LIKE you are at the world’s mercy with nothing to guide you.
Very insightful and interesting way to look at it Violet!
Hg…why do the comments post out of order? I posted one today that showed up at the top of the feed but was meant to be in response to comments already posted? I read through the feed again and saw comments I’ve never seen. Like you talking about narcs who post here and you can tell right away. Honestly…do you think I’m a narc? I am such an emotional human being that I don’t think I am…my therapist always said my problem was that I had “big emotions”..but these days I’m so closed off emotionally that I wonder. You say with a super Nova that eventually they lean more towards their narcissistic side…my question to you is do we ever go back to our more empathetic side? It’s been a little over a year and my emotions are still on lock down.
Hello KLM, I do not know why the comments appear in the feed in the way that they do.
Hello Klm!
I know you adressed your questions to HG, but I have noticed that the order of the comments appearing on the tool bar depends on how long a comment is held in moderation .Some are held in moderation longer than others so they might appear( both on the tool bar and on the thread) long after you or someone “post” them.
If I have understood correctly ( HG,please correct me if I am wrong)! : Your empathetic traits are still there even your emotions are “shut down ” temporarily. You never lose your empathetic traits( fortunately) even when your narcissistic side is triggered momentarily as in the event of a SuperNova. SuperNova is just an event triggered within the SuperEmpath.
There is an spectrum: empathic /narcissistic traits where “you” belong to. And as farcas I know ,you do not really lose those traits.
I hope you can “open” your emotions again!
And I hope this helps!
…Klm: just to clarify:
The comments on the tool bar appear as soon as they are “released” from moderation.
The comments on the thread are always in chronological order…some comments just “popping up” on the thread as soon as they are released..
Difficult to explain but I hope it helps.
Oh boy…here we go again. That was the drama I was referring too (hgt1)…just ignore her or him.
What another really excellent thread. Its helpful to ponder the different points people make. it’s a privilege to have the benefit of some of the wisdom that appears here.
Thank you all.💌
👍 I definitely would like one of the special cups of coffee too. Haha. ☕
Yep..I just scroll right past all the drama. It’s counter productive.
Such is the beauty of choice Kim.
I should note here that what one would term as drama is different to everyone and their situation. While I said pay no attention to the drama to Jody Allen, it was because at her point in healing (5 days N/C) it may be considered as such and she needs to focus on only the positives for her. I do not always consider conversations such as the ones happening here as drama. I see them as people asserting themselves and re-establishing boundaries after a period where they may have been denied that or ignored their own. They are in some cases recognizing potential threat and distespect and reacting to it, on behalf of others as well as themselves. It seems to me to be better to be vigilant and establish or defend these new boundaries than to ignore what they are feeling as that previously didnt work out so well for some. I also like to hear what people have to say whether I agree or not as I like to hear the truth in all forms and not just give mine. As long as we are all aware that when you express it publicly in this type of forum that what you say is open to comment by others. Its an exchange of information and you are most certainly welcome to scroll on by depending on your situation at the time, or chime in. Thats the beauty in it for me-choice. I learn about people by watching their interactions with others and as you all know am not shy with an opinion when I have one (and I’ll say it- I always seem to have one) so I was not saying that the conversations were in fact drama-just may have been for Jody at this time. As with everything, its a balance.
Well said NA,
I’m glad you communicated this, I agree.
So thoughtful and well said NA!
NarcAngel
Well said! You do an amazing job at balancing things and keeping perspective!!!!
Really, I feel all the bashing and arguing are a complete waste of time and are off-putting for people who are seeking help and encouragement …I’m having a difficult time re-adjusting to my new circumstances again and trying to maintain my No Contact (yay for me, I’ve finally gone 5 days!) and my sanity. All I’ve really needed is someone to talk to and a hug…so, I’m just gonna send out Hugs all around and say that if you need help or someone to talk to, I am here for you..Lots of Love ♡
Jody Allen
Good job on the 5 days. Pay no attention to the drama. Eyes forward.
Jody,
exactly. It gets so noisy that people can’t be heard and some act as if they own the blog (comment part). And I really have better things to do.
Hugs to you, too.
“Hear Hear”….
Aww ava101 ♡,
I wouldn’t go that far. These ladies in here (no offense to the men in here) are very caring and offer up very sound advice. Sometimes it does get pretty noisy and you get drowned out, but I’m certain there is no offense that is intentional, especially when it comes down to someone acting completely ridiculous..eventually it calms down and we get back on track.
Have you been on any of H.G.’s live streams? It’s complete cacophony, but he still manages to answer a lot of questions and it’s a lot of fun.
I’ve been reading H.G.s books lately, which have helped tremendously…especially when I want to break No Contact so badly…but, I’m on day number 6. It feels great to finally not drive myself crazy with guilt and remorse and reach out to someone who doesn’t give a shit about me. But he still crosses my mind every single day. The hardest part will be not to answer his texts (which I know will come)
I hope you are doing well in your recovery, and while I’m certainly no expert, I am here if you need an ear. ~ Hugs to you!~ ♡
Jody Allen
There is no fear of ever getting drowned out. This is HGs blog and he is very aware of all that goes on. He is patient and allows us great latitude but I dont believe for a second he ever gets lost in the “noise”. If there is something he feels worth addressing or requires his attention he has always done so to my witness.
Day 6 of detox-good for you. And when those texts come remember-they are just bait and nothing else. Empty words and promises that dont require reading over and over to convince yourself of some meaning. Its poisoned candy-just delete.
Correct NA
Jody allen…hugs back and congrats on 5 days youre doing awesome!! 👍
Aw JODY ALLEN
Thats really lovely.
You are very kind. Hugs back to you. X
Hi Jody Allen ,
I totally understand where you are coming from. It can tend to get a bit agressive here at times towards each other. And I understand that on this one post, that some of the comments are not helping you with your situation, but that doesn’t mean that the blog as a whole is not sympethitc towards your situation . I would go to another article that better suits your situation, where the conversation is more inline to what you’re going through. You have to try to understand that there are people on here that have a history with each other and when certain people come along and attack their blog friends, emotions get heightened. In life you can never expect people to always bend to make you feel comfortable. And I honestly do not mean that in a way to make you feel badly. Yes, this is a place where you come to for help. And IT IS HERE! I promise . There are a lot of great people here that will help you in the drop of a hat. HG Tudor , no matter how much he says he doesn’t care, will always be here to help answer your questions. He’s one of the most dedicated people I have ever seen. And I’m not saying that to kiss his ass, I really mean it because I’ve seen it for the past 8 months.
Please don’t get discouraged because of this. Hang in there and I’m sorry for what you’re going through In Your personal life . I mean that sincerely . 💜
Jody Allen,
sending a virtual hug.
Thank you and like wise. Here for you and everyone else.
Brilliant NarcAngel!! Great ideas! I love it! Lol. Come on in , you’re one of our “Friends!” Lol
the only perfection lies within Nature, it is real, it does not lie, it is eternal… that is love… I am perfectly imperfect
HG #1 fan – I refuse to argue with a child.
I am not a child, i am HG Tudors # 1 fan.
I’d beg to differ. A true fan of HG’s would not come on here stirring the pot and insulting readers who clearly were making a compassionate comment towards him.
Reminds me of another commentator who eventually got referred to as the Irritant.
‘Hear Hear!!’ Well said MLA!!!
(See HG! I got it right this time!)
Hg approves.
Hear hear! 😘💜
😘. You have a great personality RS!
Hey, this isn’t ‘match.com’ you two!
Aw, Thank you, so do you!
HGs #1 fan
Are you familiar with the term snip it?
Clarece
I agree with you 💯
Doesn’t take long for colors to show
Aaaaand here we go AGAIN with the bullying and the oh, so constructive comments to people who are simply different (to remain neutral). You expect people to accept your remarks and your being ‘better’, so maybe for a change respect other ways, too.
I don’t even see what you are referring to, and as I said before I found some remarks of socalled “irritants” (what a fascist term!) refreshing.
I would appreciate it if I would not have to read this all the time!
No You are not HG1F. There is something not right … I don’t get a good feeling about you. I think you’re being disingenuous. We all praise Mr. Tudor and show love and appreciation but you just popped out of nowhere …
I don’t believe your words.
This isn’t match.com??? Oh crap!!!!! All this time I’ve been on the wrong blog! I saw the heart in flames and got confused..
Hahahaha!! HG you are too funny!! 🌺
Good response.
It’s not?! My bad. 😉
Online dating safety tips 101 …
1. Always do a reverse phone lookup on the person you’re talking to. Ensure they are registered to that number
2. Search for that name/number online. There are websites dedicated to exposing online predators
3. Take everything with a grain of salt. Have fun and be safe
– ❤ McGruff the crime dog
Hahaha!!! Hilarious!!
Thank you Love! I definitely need direction!! I have a habit of following shiny objects and apparently now flaming hearts! 🔥✨
Don’t worry Sue. Stick around here. We are here for you
You’re too funny! 😄
Lol Love!
Or just binge watch MTV’s “Catfish” with Nev and Max and you will never want to try online dating, ever!
Lol! Catfish is a nightmare. I think some of it is staged. Or maybe that’s just part of the fun of online dating. 😂
Love is never telling your loved ones that they’re full of it. Love is biting your tongue.
Love is learning to spot any signs of a bad mood, no matter how subtle.
Love is always trying to say or do the right thing to make that mood go away, and love is failing nearly every time.
Love is resigning yourself to wait and ride it out for the next 12 1/2 minutes. And love is having calculated that time using an average calculator you found online.
Love is apologizing, even though you don’t understand what you did wrong. And love is practicing to make that fake apology sound sincere, because love is knowing there will be hell to pay if it doesn’t.
Love is being torn down every day and then hearing those very same people complain that you need to get some more self-esteem.
Love is living alone even when you have multiple house-mates.
Love is being constantly criticized for being depressed and suicidal just because your father is in prison, you’re in constant pain from a surgery gone wrong, and your mother is too busy boinking her boyfriend (the same one she had an affair with) to care. Love is being told, over and over again in multiple ways, that your feelings are not valid and that you have a great life and no reason to be depressed.
Love is, after explaining that if you chose a certain career, you’d only be doing it to please her and would be deeply unhappy, hearing a firm resounding “YES!”
Love is losing every time you play, because God help you if you don’t.
Love is being told you’re “retarded” for heinous offenses like because you did not want to have your hair in the style she wanted. And love is staying silent and never saying anything back. And love is never letting her know how much this hurts you.
Love is never letting ANYONE know how much ANYTHING hurts you, because then you know they’ll do it constantly. Love is sitting stony-faced or laughing it off.
Love is accepting apologies that you know don’t mean they won’t repeat their behavior infinitely more times.
Love is knowing that who you are will never be good enough.
Love is forgetfulness. Forgetting to stay sane, “forgetting” so that you can agree with the prevailing interpretation of what happened…which often morphs and alters like a mutant shapeshifter depending on who is in the room.
Love is trading your soul, your integrity, your happiness and your freedom for a bit of cash, a piece of ass, and something you can’t reach.
Love is knowing ALL of this…and still picking up the phone.
June
I dont know love but I recognize martyrdom and victimization and that is what you wrote about. I hope you are here to learn the difference.
“Love is trading your soul, your integrity, your happiness and your freedom for a bit of cash, a piece of ass, and something you can’t reach.
Love is knowing ALL of this…and still picking up the phone.”
I found my twin, June.
Thank you for saying these things, because this is the absolute mindset of a true love devotee. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure this as well. Not only do we have to understand and recover from the abuse, but we have to relearn what love really is.
Best Regards~
-Narcangel: Ugh, I’m in a particularly depressed state of mind about the world right now (obviously, considering my first post, right?). I’m beginning to think that that is all there is, simply prettied up with poetic descriptions and exaggeration.
-Jody Allen: Your welcome, I guess. I just needed to get that out. I’m glad it helped someone else as well. 🙂
RElearn implies that you once knew differently. I was talking about my experiences with my family (my father, mother, and brother all got sections about them), not a lover.
The “piece of ass” bit was really more about my feelings about the models of romantic love I’ve observed than about me specifically-I personally am asexual.
😀 Oh, I don’t know about true love devotee. It doesn’t seem to me like something that exists outside of movies and books. Every time I thought I could look at two people and say “THAT is love” I was quickly let down by learning that he actually beats her, that she cheats, that they barely speak unless they’re in public, etc. I’ve certainly seen the dizzy highs of the beginning infatuation-but that is temporary and fades.
Every “happy” couple/family is unhappy in its own way.
I AM devoted to and loyal to my family, I would agree with THAT.
HG is love!
Hello HG1F, good to see you here.
Good evening HG, it is a pleasure to be on here.
My initial post was suppose to say Love is a choice, not a feeling. We choose love and the best way to achieve it is to not focus on self but, show other’s in our daily interaction, not when people are watching or to receive anything in return.
HG, if you let this through, I know I will be banned. HG is a great example of love selfless or not in comparison to what we have contributed to other’s or the universe. Wait, can we do a poll and keep 100? What have we given to improve mankind, self, or society today?
Today, I assisted Mother Nature… that is how I “give”, to the natural world… I rescue Monarch caterpillars from Milkweed Plants, and raise them through Chrysalis till they emerge a butterfly… it is something no one knows about me till today, … I do have a soft side and i choose to rescue species that need me…. usually not the human species any longer…
Your contribution is acknowledged. I am scared of lizards, my childhood ex narc, reminds me that everything serves a purpose. He said you are scared of spiders they eat the spiders and other insects. True, we feed off each other human or not. I leave salmon outside for my neighbor cat once a month so he can eat them once they eat the other pest.
The struggle is real, only the strong survive.
Aww C⭐️ That’s so sweet that you do that:)
@⭐️: the magic of Nature is astounding, and it is REAL… NO illusions, just raw truths
C ⭐️
I agree that is usually more satisfying. There is a Butterfly Conservatory near me. Truly beautiful place where all kinds you never see will often land on you as you walk through.
@NarcAngel: there is so much more to a butterfly, and the struggle and stages it goes through to survive, transform & come into being, how it evolves… we can all be like that! Nature can be brutal and beautiful, but it is perfect… it gives lessons on survival 🐛🦋… have a fun weekend
Hi c☆…what a great thing you do!! I seen a beautiful butterfly yesterday in the forest and thought of your post. This butterfly was a dark orange with black speckles.
If there were fragrant Milkweeds near by, it was more than likely the “Monarch”…. I luv that you thought of me! I do many other “projects” people are unaware of
This being your definition of love is really describing how the natural instinct from infancy to bond with a caregiver for survival was altered by you having to constantly look inward to rebalance yourself and continue to seek approval from MatriNarc. I go back to your needing negative fuel in a relationship after so many months of infatuation, is caused by when your IP is feeling that deeper connection and a more intimate love towards you, that equates to needing to bring pain and suffering to the table. That is all you know.
Love to you now is someone obediently organizing their life completely around your needs and having complete control over that. You are subconsciously re-enacting your dynamic with your Mother because it has never been resolved in your True Core Self.
Hi Clarece , what did you mean when you said , they want negative fuel when the partner has developed a more intimate bond ?
Hi Lisa,
What I meant by HG seeking the negative fuel, is he says he has to develop the contrast because positive fuel gets stale at some point. Whether it’s 4 months into the relationship or 18 months, that always happens to him. We’ve had discussions on the blog before that when the positive fuel is going stale seems to be at the point where an IP is truly seeming, content, comfortable, secure in the relationship. A deeper bond is forming then in the natural progression of a relationship. They feel real love and maybe the initial passion may be waning a bit. That can be boring or as HG thinks it appears the person isn’t trying as hard or doesn’t admire him as much anymore. So chaos is brought in with triangulation, devaluation, etc. All the things he learned from MatriNarc.
Hi Clarece , thank you for explaining that x so when the relationship enters a more complacent stage the narcissist interprets this has the victims interest declining therefore they start their nonsense to see the victims reaction and if the victim is upset it’s proof the victim is not losing interest and the narcissist feels better and then feels more in control again ? But they don’t really want the victim to leave them ?
They don’t ever want to completely lose a fuel source, but they are more than content to put you on a shelf for a while.
Yeah content in their delusional minds that the victim will always be on that shelf . You’d think past experience would teach them that is not the case, I think their delusions are part of the mental illness. They never learn from anything remaining rigid in their ways they are unable to ever progress !!!
Spot on! Well said!
Hello Sues423! Oh how I’d love to spend an afternoon in a coffee shop with you chatting things up as I always follow your comments. I always want to send you the biggest virtual hug ever when you write about your childhood!
Wow,
How nice of you to say that! You’re going to make me cry! Lol. That means so much to me for you to say that!! ❤️
I’d have coffee with you anytime! Seriously!! You have a great personality and I love the way you think and communicate and I could talk to you all day! ❤️🌺
Sues423, I hold you in high esteem my dear. You won the 4 million contest!
Lattes and Narc talk for dayzzzz with us!
Glad I could send some warm & fuzzies your way! ❤
MLA you’re so cute! Haha I did win didn’t I ? Thank you for acknowledging my high position! Hahaha! Just kidding.
We could open up our own coffee shop and call it NARK ROAST lol!! We could broadcasts our radio show from there and have HG as a guest! Haha!!
Omg sues423, love it ” Narcs roast” !!! 😂Too funny!!!
Sues423…love it. Our signature NarcRoast blend will be so bold and strong a spoon can stand upright in the cup. Tea for HG, and we have to make sure there is raspberry jam for him for a treat.
Seeds included. What is this, Central Bastard Perk?
Too funny MLA!
Okay I’m in! Where do I sign?
😜❤️
Sues and MLA
Great concept!
People may enjoy taking a bite out of little black and white cakes and chomping down on the only donut to make the cut-The Crueller of course. NO artificial sweeteners! In the restrooms, toilet paper will be covered in words such as gaslighting, manipulation, and devaluation. Oh-and the House Narc Roast could be served in large golden cups with endless refills!
Sorry…its your concept and my imagination ran wild.
But Im ready to invest if your interested in a silent partner!
Sounds like you’ll be promoted to Hostess with the Mostess! I’ll run the books in back. That’s more my gig. And I’ll make sure our Majesty has his seeded jam available at all times for pop-ins.
I replied to this earlier but I’m not sure if it went through.
Anyway,
Narc Angel come on aboard! You’re one of our “Friends!!”
I love your ideas! We need a good Angel in the mix ! 😇 I love to cook and bake so I’ll make the cupcakes !
We can also give out reward points for maintaining NO CONTACT. Rack up the days and earn yourself free coffee!! Haha! ☕️
Yes HG! It’s going to be for all of our “Friends” to come and hang out. Our theme song will go something like this:
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke
Your Narcs still not D.O.A
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but
HG will be there for you
(When your Narc starts to call )
He’ll be there for you
(To consult you when you fall)
HG will be there for you
(‘Cause He’s there for me too)
Oh and we’ll have all of your books on our coffee tables!
Not bad, but this should be the version used
So no one told you love was gonna be this way,
It’s not a joke being heart broke
Your narc won’t go away
It’s like you’re always seized by awful fear
The silent treatment’s a week, a month
And now you get the smear but
HG’s who you turn to
(When your narc starts to call)
He’ll show you a way through
(To consult with when you fall)
He knows what to do
(When you’re dropped in the poo)
That’s awesome!!! I love it!! Hahaha! It’s gonna be a hit!
Sues and MLA
Almost forgot the Tudor Tarts!
NA, you mean Tudor Tart T-shirts for our uniform right?
i♡this, HG
Ending in 💩!! Lolll HG!
Impressed with both twists on the Friends theme!
That was really great! Clever lyrics. I have HG’s books sitting out and my daughter thinks I have gone off the edge and should stop reading about narcs all the time. She could be right but I think I am hooked.
it is a healthy addiction… carry on
I plan to. 😉
Thanks RS!
We’ll have to consider selling our NARKROAST Online so you can stay up and keep reading lol 😜
Put me down for 3 pounds! 😉
Hahahaha!! Too funny RS!
I notice some people on here have a picture of themselves. Where do you go to put that on?
RS
Where do you go to put a picture on here?
To great lengths.
Stop writing about me as if I am not here, NA!
Talk is cheap!!!!
Indeed it is.
Haha. Good morning my favourite Narcissist.
Enchante, my favourite NarcAngel.
I just got that one. . . I’m sure it’s true. LOL
You’re funny! I love your humor.
The question is, why would you WANT to reveal your identity with a photo on here?
Valid observation.
True, that. Not a good idea on second thought.
Thank you
I haven’t revealed my real name, but over time I think it’s nice for people to put a real face behind the words. I once said here, you readers know more about what I went through than the parents I run into everyday picking my daughter up from school in my personal life. That counts for something with me.
Besides why else does it come up almost weekly now, what does HG look like? How old is he? It humanizes and allows for a deeper connection with the writer. Is it necessary? No. But sometimes you think, “who are all these people I’m so entrenched with in my daily life?” lol
That is so true. We don’t NEED to know but the amount of time I spend showing my past and heart makes you want to put a face to the people you are pouring out to.
MLA,
Very well stated! You are very well spoken! ❤️
Clarece and Sues
Thats true. I think its natural to wonder what people look like, (as you demonstrated with the mystery surrounding HG) and if you have nothing to hide and are comfortable then why not? There are of course others who have to keep their identity hidden due to various matters and the anonymity here is very much appreciated. Then there are those who have the provocative selfies and I think those, in a public forum, speak to what their purpose is (lingerie? really? While claiming others are vulgar?). I thought about putting up a pic (temporarily) at one point just so people can see who they are speaking with as I appreciate that, but as soon as I had to sign up to a WordPress acct. and then Gravatar…………Im out. I cant do one more username and password lol.
Hi NA! I absolutely understand for some who need to stay private and anonymous due to their circumstances and not knowing if they could be traced by their narc, no picture. But I do appreciate those who can share.
Since when are you a quitter because of a password NA…??
C’mon, you know you’re dying to leave a selfie gravatar with a duck face. Just admit it.
Oh look. Its Duckface.
Look at you NA, with those sun-kissed highlights! #Smokin’
Narc Angel, you cutie pie!!! You are the real life Bernadette!!! ❤
Maybe some people have nothing to hide.
In protecting my identity, I am protecting myself. It has nothing to do with “something to hide”…
I love nark roast coffee shop idea 😂 instead of timbits we could have narc balls 👍👌
Hey RS!
You have to set up a Word Press account and then you can post your picture 🌺
Thank you! Have a great Sunday. 😉
You too!!
How much are the tudor tart tee’s? Ill take one lol Are there any tudor bobbleheads? 😄 a HG online gift shop is a must!
Oddly enough, you should be careful what you wish for….
🤞Finger’s crossed!
Hahaha! I’ll take one of everything. 😉
Haha! Of course Narc Affair! First you’ll be greated at the door by the “Third Empath” or someone just like her to see if you pass the “No Narcs Allowed rule” , then you’ll be brought into the gift shop where you can purchase an array of “HG approved” merchandise and of course a full library of his books. That will lead you into the coffee shop so you can partake and enjoy! Haha!! (Pricing to be determined)
I see it all very clearly. Too funny!
I cant wait to buy my Hg bobblehead 😄 maybe it can have voice recordings to motivate as it bobbles. Seize the power or HG approves! I love it 🤗
Doesnt a bobblehead by definition require a head ? We dont know what he looks like so………what head? …………Oh dear……
I see advanced orders.
NarcAngel HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hilarious !!!
Great point! Well there was the headless horseman so I guess it’s a possibility .. lol
Hahahahahaha! Count me in.
I have my pic posted on facebook and utube but really value the anonymous aspect of posting on the blog given my situation. It is nice seeing peoples pics but to me it doesnt matter the main picture is their character to me. That said, we have a good looking bunch on here 😎
Narc angel i was thinking a bobblehead in his ask HG live pic 👤 lol
Who is in lingerie ? Huh? Did I miss something?
Dr. HQ
When you click on the persons photo it takes you to Gravatar where the photo is much larger and says view complete profile. Some have other photos in there. In ONE case there was ONE provocative (and seemingly inappropriate for a public forum) photo and it was used on here previous but was very small and dark so perhaps it wasnt noticed. I couldnt care less but then they got all moral police on someone else. I just found it ironic and thought I have their NUMBER.
NarcAngel,
You’re so funny – “moral police.”
Damn it…I miss everything! LOL
Great pic narc angel!
Narc Affair
Uh oh. Youre Canadian if I recall so you probably recognize me. Im in the igloo just down the way.
Ahh great picture NarcAngel! Thought you looked familiar… I’m the one down the way that wears the touque and walks with snowshoes delivering maple syrup to everyone.. eh?
HG- If a mid range golden adult child doesn’t know about narcissism or fuel do they even know they were/are verbally and emotionally abused?
Excellent point. They very well may not realise.
Love seems to me to be the Miscellaneous or Lost and Found department tucked away in the basement of the megastore Feelings.
NarcAngel,
That was like…poetic lol!
NarcAngel,
I have no idea why but what you wrote like instantly made me think of that savage garden song…
https://youtu.be/HCm6gRHINqA
The lyrics that popped up in my head (which happen to be pretty good)…
Love is like a barren place
Reaching out for human faith
It’s like a journey I just don’t have a map for…
HG, my narc is very close to his parents. He used to triangulate me against them, telling me I wasn’t respectful enough to them, and telling me that his mother thinks I’m a bitch. Even so, I think he may have some deep seated child abuse issues – he has previously told me that his father was an alcoholic when he was a child. He also mentioned once that his mother favoured him because she knew that he was “special” and “loved very strongly”. He also left home at age 16. What do you think happened? Do you think he was abused but is in such deep denial that he doesn’t even realise?
Highly likely LD, the creature and what surrounds it has clearly been locked deep away.
Real love is unconditional.
Feel for the child that you were HG that endured this.
Please…..you know what love is, you may have never experienced it – because you don’t like the hurt that comes with it- but you know exactly what it is.
You choose the easy way to relationships, because that’s good enough for you.
If it’s true that love doesn’t have to be earned, in order to let love shine in your life you must make room for it, and that is painful …but rewarding ad well.
So, sorry you never experienced love but that is because you don’t want to know.
Good day HG 🙂
“So, sorry you never experienced love but that is because you don’t want to know.”
That’s an interesting, profound thought, Giulia! 🙂
HG,
Is love?
1.An inner ability/trait that is imprinted in a person’s DNA from birth? As for example empathy is?(emotional contagion). Because it seems to me ( this is just based on assumptions) that there are many that were submitted to emotional abuse as children but STILL have this capacity /ability of loving.
2. Or is it a “taught construct”? In this case this would mean then that you could “learn” to love again now. Could you learn how “to love “now?
I do not know what love is as a feeling.
I do know that love is a taught construct which misleads.
Thank you for your answer HG.
Love is a meeting of values and desire to care for one another while living a life according to those values.
Narcissism prevents someone from the adult view that this is a good thing- all they see is the pain of giving. As we have discussed this is childish self-preservation.
Hello Violet!
Thank you for your observations. It is a clear cut definition of love for you and me( empaths in general) since we have empathic traits.
Not so clear for the narcissist. It remains to see if the narcissist deliberately prevents this feeling of love:
Either the narcissist is deprived of empathy since birth or if he/she has it latent but has been suppressed by external factors ( trauma during childhood). I think this is very specific of the narcissist in question :
1. If the narcissist has the cognitive function to recognise it
2. If the narcissist has the need and if he/she willing to find out if there are still empathic traits within them. Specially the need for emotional response and empathy contagion which, according to me are the key elements of feeling love the way empaths do.
Absolutely not. Take it from me growing up with them. They need their narcissism. You don’t however need abuse. They as a self are well and truly gone. Accept it as we all must accept taxes, death etc
If you do not, they exploit and exploit and exploit and get more skilled at abusing.
My family made progress but used it all against me if I wanted any human rights. Abandon this topic
Hi Superxena
I hope you don’t mind me asking your opinion
I am curious as to your assumptions, would you say this would be a base of how our empathy is formed? We either become the co dependent, the empath, the Super Empath or the Contagion?
Hello Twilight!
Of course I don’t mind. I believe this site allows free interaction without a conversation being exclusive to one person in particular!
I am afraid I do not understand your question but I will answer based on what I think you mean:
For me the classification given as Co-dependant,Empath, SuperEmpath and Contagion Empath are just a way of positioning a person on the empathic -narcissistic spectrum. I do believe though that you are borne with a certain “pot” of these traits that could be tipped towards one or the other side of the spectrum or perhaps being more intensified depending on external factors ( during childhood). I do not think though there is any mobility between the groups of empaths. That is to say for example: a Co-dependant can’t become a SuperEmpath .
The ability of loving is (according to me) directly linked to having some dose of empathy( specially emotional contagion). A person who is completely deprived of this “type” of empathy contagion is unable to feel “love ” the same way as we who have it do.
I hope you are feeling fine!
….and concerning the Narcissists of the upper school and perhaps just a few ( if I understood HG’s answer correctly) they can effectively ( with less delay ) train these love responses as a learned behaviour but they can actually do not feel love the way we do. If the love (and I assume in general empathic responses) responses they learn are submitted with less delay ,it becomes less evident that they are just learned. If I understood it correctly..
Love is taking on the problems of others when it hurts you to do so.
Love is missing out, to please the narcissist.
Love is dumbing myself down.
Love is enabling and covering bad behaviour.
Love is ignoring the world and creating your own secret one with your rules alone.
Love is conning people and laughing about it.
Love is ignoring weakness.
Love is losing my game to let the narcissist win theirs.
Love is obsessing over bodies, image and status.
Love is the show must go on when you’re bleeding.
Love is a stoic face to those who have just hit or betrayed you.
Love is expecting nothing from anybody.
Love is false humility to lawless individuals.
Love is narcissism (uh oh)
Also being made fun of and having mean things said to you until you cry. Then being told you’re too sensitive. No wonder I didn’t run for the hills when my exnarc did this. It felt familiar. I thought I deserved it. Thanks to HG, I woke up.
My brothers and sister did that to me too, cut me down and made fun of me until I cried and then told me I was being a baby. Probably why I gravitate to narcs also, if feels familiar.
Since I wised up I seem to have become paranoid or are there so many of you out there?
“Love” is different things to different people, and there are different types of “love” for many different things. “Love” is an illusion and perception…
C*
I “love” what you posted! I will second that post!
thank you
My mother taught me about real love. She taught it by hugging me all the time, rubbing my back at night, telling me I could do anything I put my mind to. . . the list is too long. I could talk to her about anything, even the first time I had sex, I told her. I remember her saying “did you enjoy it? I said no. She said, you rarely do the first time. Tomorrow we will go to the doctor and put you on the pill. . . I wish I had these when I was your age.” God, my mother was great. All my friends loved talking to her. Even though she was married to my sociopath, fuckwadd of a father, she loved all five of her children deeply and we felt it. Love is not words, love is seen in actions.
That’s awesome RS. I am so glad you have a great memories of being with your Mom. Good memories like that are such a comfort. 🙂
My mother did those nice things too. She could be very affectionate and giving. That was the confusing thing. She would switch from devil to loving mother.
I didn’t get it. I decided to adopt the approach of, “she is doing what she feels is possible.”
My mother was always loving but she was dealing with demons of her own after having been married to my sociopath father. She had to raise 5 kids on her own as a waitress. We were poor but we were always loved and she was the best cook in the world even with what little she had to cook with. To me, love still means feeding someone and making them feel at home, like my mother. She taught me how to make the best pies! 😉
I don’t believe love is taught , love is a feeling that cannot be controlled and from that feeling actions then follow. My mum was brought up with very good provider parents but both didn’t really show affection or praise very much , they were of a generation and their own upbringing made them this way , despite this my mum has always given me affection and praise . I still refuse to believe that narcissists don’t feel love , I can’t help but be in denial about this , I think they do feel love and are so afraid of not being good enough or being abandoned or someone that they want praise and attention and love from taking control and not giving them that and them then being at the mercy of someone , they use all these avoidance and controlling behaviours to remain in control , if they are going to be abandoned then they will be the ones that are controlling that situation . Narcissists certainly go to great lengths over objects , doesn’t quite add up , they seem to be very attached to these objects and never want to lose the objects
It’s clear your mother is an abusive and emotionally absent individual.
Her approval and acceptance both conditional. You were essentially told your entire life that who you are isn’t good enough and in order to be good enough you had to be whatever your mother wanted.
Sounds like she gave you a lot of conflicting messages – kinda like me punching you in the face and then saying affectionately “I love you”
You were taught that:
Love is abuse.
Love is being emotionally absent.
Love is not accepting and is conditional.
Love is betrayal.
Love is selfish.
Love is abandonment.
Love is control and power.
Love is a lie.
Wow, that was powerful!
Love is letting people be themselves.
The narcissist’s life reads like a trashy magazine. Junk.
Empaths need to let narcissists be their trashy selves without feeling responsible. The cause is most definitely lost.
Love is taking care of yourself first and others second. That means defending your value.
Violet: I absolutely agree!
That was beautiful Violet:)
Reading this again still has the same affect on me as it did the first time… it brings tears to my eyes. I feel so bad for that little boy. 😞
Me too. His mother created a demon.
And it happens so often;
They create monsters and then send them out to wreak havoc.
I have the benefit of knowing everything about the Narc’s upbringing. It’s no wonder things are as they are now.
Hi RS,
I totally understand your terminology but I see it more as a mother and father who crushed and disassembled their little mans soul and he’s desperately trying to control his environment with a facade of person who has it all together but really doesn’t, so he doesn’t have to think about it or deal with it. That pain is always bubbling and brewing underneath . But personally , I don’t think his spirit is out completely, just dimmed.
I believe Ted Bundy was a demon. I don’t think HG is.
Sue423…off topic but ive watched a few bios on ted bundy and i sense there were secrets in that family. Something about his father was a bit “off”. I dont just think he was that way. I could be wrong of course.
Hey Narc affair,
I was just reading a few articles on Ted Bundy .. He had mentioned, in the end before he was electrocuted, that it was violent pornography that lead him to what is was. I didn’t really buy that. I am sure it contributed to the way he acted out but I think that there was more there. Exactly what you are saying…
Sue and Narc Affair,
Sorry to butt in you on your convo. But, when I think of demons and true evil Ted Bundy definitely is in my top 10. Once, we are aware history will reveal itself.
We swap stories on here despite HG stating our stories make him more effective. I am not saying HG will harm us. But, think about Bundy and how he was able to manipulate the authorities into extending his stay of execution by future faking (Additional victims/evidence).
We, would be remiss to dismiss the information provided by H.G. to provide awareness to weaponize us against this particular evil.
Our, encounters may not be that severe. But, if we look at fuel as a drug and how it empowers them. Do we beleive that they will push, push, and push to obtain that ultimate fuel (unobtainable). At some point those evil, or not so evil pretend or fantasy become a reality/nightmare. Please stop embracing the facade especially when criminal behavior is involved. Speaking of a unlawful act is just as guilty and commuting the act, you will know that if you have any type of legal background.
The legendary story of Bonnie and Clyde, I would assume that one of them had a personality disorder the other was the throwing caution to the wind or exploring their grey side as one blogger mentioned.
All, because we didn’t know where to draw the line because of our own selfish desires or yearning for attention.
Most can blame our beginnings, and I know those that were suppose to protect us f**cked up. However, we can’t use that as a clutch to be fuck up for life, especially after coming to H.G site.
For me and my mom it just happen to be a positive consequence. I came here because of exnarc idiots and now I can identify my mother and my codependent sister behaviours.
I know longer harbor anger towards her, I just steer clear. I also manage my own behaviors more appropriately. I think HG can attest to that.
I go from day to day, not really knowing where my emotions will lead me but I am for sure that the triggers have lessened. I hate being or seeing others stagnant.
You Only Live Once, we still have life to live and are blessed to share what we have learned with other’s to help them.
Invest in others, HG, will reap the benefits one way or another. However, we can give the gift of life. If he was to start a separate blog, I would hope it include a area that shows how we were able to pay it forward. I will share if he allows this narc in😊
I apologize in advance for any grammaticalor spelling errors.
Hand clap for me.😊
Dear Yolo,
Im also interferring … thank you for reminding us about why we are here. Ive been ranting a bit too lately and that is counterproductive as you stated. I was part of a different forum before where the members went on and on about the same thing.. some of them for years. I left just because of that reason… we need to do more self care and try to let go..
Im back on track and thank you for putting me there..
Hi sues423…yes i thought there was a lot more to the story of ted bundy. He hid his sexuality but he was also hiding naked mannequins in his room which is a firm of shame of sex. I suspect he was molested. His father gave me the creeps. Its hard to say tho. Pornography definitely didnt help but i dont think it caused his inclinations and fantasies.
A few few ted Bundy facts part 1:
He was made to believe for a long time that his grandparents were his real parents…and that his actual mother was his sister…
He was a necrophiliac – the mannequins point in that directions as well – mannequins are objects … u can do what u want with them – is complete control – they are ultimately like a corpse….
He liked his girlfriends to play dead while having sex
He picked a lawyer who he identified with in a weird way and interestingly enough the lawyer had a girlfriend who was murdered…..
I suggest skimming or reading ted Bundy lawyers book … it’s interesting u get more info on Bundy
He killed way more people than the public think
https://youtu.be/h-Mc048HVvs
22:15
He would talk about an entity …. inside of him… and wouldn’t talk about a lot of his crimes in the first person ….. he would “speculate” how the crime unfolded
Hi Dr H,
Thank you for sharing that! Very very interesting! I’ve never really heard him talk about an “entity” inside of himself. It really confirms to my belief that it could be some sort of Demonic possession. The Son of Sam killer has admitted to a similar experience.
More like a god.
Hi Dr. H…Those are facts i never knew about ted bundy. Ive always been fascinated by serial killers and their past. I find the psychology aspect if it interesting. Ill look that up.
The last documentary you posted about the iceman was really good. I watched the movie iceman after. Id never heard of him before.
Hi Sue and RS ……I note someone posted that HG is more like a God……maybe that explains why atheism is on the rise??? Sorry HG….I am sure I would love you if I knew you……well if I thought I knew you!!!!!.
Same here, Sue423. It’s heartbreaking. And in agreement with you, Bundy was a psychopath and a monster… I don’t see HG as a demon at all. (On the other hand, if we were ensnared by him in his private life, we may feel completely different.)
Hi Mary, right! Haha!
Actually I still don’t think I would say that. Asshole and a few other choice words maybe . I would definitely be screwed if I met him in person and he tried to ensnare me. I’ll admit it !! Lol
I’d need my brain implanted with HG Tudor books Lol. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a greater.
Bundy is a psychopath I wouldn’t go near. I’d observe him from a distance. I look too much like that chick who rejected him – he would wanna rape and murder me.
Sex offenders …. I don’t fuck with….
That’s a whole different ball game….
I recently was supposed to deal with a client who was psychopathic teen. He had a very dark vibe about him. He seriously made me uneasy. Recently he went on a bit of a crime spree and raped a woman.
Trust your intuition. I’m glad I never interacted with him much. To be honest I made a point to avoid him.
The person is currently incarcerated.
https://youtu.be/BQV9vEQa20Y
Dr. Stone’s scale of evil.
I loved this show when it was on.
All the serial killers are ranked.
It’s so interesting…
Bundy he ranked a 17 ….. kuklinksi 22
Wow Dr H,
What an experience that must have been.. I’m very sensitive to people. I can feel their energy very strongly. Sounds like you can too, which is one of the reasons you’re probably good at what you do. 🌺
Sue,
I work at an interesting place. Never a dull moment. I can feel people energy or vibe pretty damn strong. I’m a big believer in following your intuition. Everytime I don’t follow my intuition, rationalize things, or listen to other people rationalize things it gets me into a world of shit. I end up kicking myself telling people “see asshole… see I’m not fucking crazy!” Lol
Dr H,
I bet it is an extremely interesting place to work! I agree with you and that has been my issue most of my life. Not going with my intuition. My father fostered A tremendous amount of self doubt in me. Alyways calling me an emotional misfit and berating me for crying. Thank the Lord I never lived with him. I think that was my saving grace.
Now that I’m older and have more life experience and 99% of the time I’m right on the money about people, I can say too “I’m not F’n crazy!!!” Hahaha! My emotions still get in the way though. But not as much .
Sue,
I always felt something very off about my ex. His eyes were strange – often creepy or like empty. Even his laugh was weird.
All of his emotions seemed dramatic and like fake. Real emotions don’t turn on and off that quickly. My ex narc’s reactions were bizarre and often very inappropriate.
He often would use denial and projection. He would volunteer lies and by what he volunteered I could get an idea what he was hiding. He was so fucking concerned how he looked. He was “sucha a nice guy”. Everything about him was weird and fake. I used to say to him when we were fighting “you are sucha fuck piece of shit – u should tell people about this fight – tell them – tell them what really happened and everyone will tell u what a fake insensitive selfish piece of shit u are.”
Here’s an excellent example of another flavor of his bullshittery:
My ex is a special ed teacher and he has paraprofessionals in his room – one of which I was friends with and then he befriended (the para is a female). This para has a lot of mental health issues – she’s a borderline personality and has a bunch of comorbid dx. I always helped her and thought her loyalty was to me but I’m getting ahead of myself….So it’s the end of the day and this para gets a call her house burnt down and her dad was coming to pick her up. Now my ex wanted to do stuff around the classroom and couldn’t be bothered so he feigned concern. The para was hinting to him if he could go with her to the house for support. He knew this. He said “oh you should be with your family right now this is a hard time ” and got out of it. I was then called and told what was going on. I dropped my shit and went to her helped get stuff out of her burnt down house , took her shopping, and gave her some of my clothes – also drove her around. My ex only picked her up and drove her to work during this time period because he needed her to do stuff in his classroom because she is far more Intelligent than he is. My ex said to me oh I should raise awareness for this para at work and get people to donate shit (or something like that) ….I mean I don’t wanna look like a dick. He kept emphasizing how he would look. It was pathetic.
Funny part…in the end he triangulated us and turned her against me. I thought she was smarter than that. I was very disappointed but I realize she is a vulnerable individual. So this girl and I are no longer friends but this chick is texting him all the time – needless to say that caused problems – not because she was a threat because I can assure you she was t but because it’s like wow why is ur relationship ok and mine isn’t with her? He made it that way. My ex disgusts me. Any idiot that would fall for anything he would say about me is not worth my time.
The para choose the wrong side. Oh man did she choose the wrong team. She choose a fake piece of shit over someone who is real.
Wow Dr H!
Sounds like quiet the interesting guy! Special Ed teacher and all!! awww isn’t that sweet, what a good guy LOL!! What a POS
sounds to me like this chick had her eye on him the whole time and used you. I’ve experienced many women who play the “poor little victim” and know exactly what they are doing . She sounds like an emotional tick.
Sounds like they’re perfect for each other.
You dodged a Bullett for sure!
It should be quite instead of quiet . And bullet was spelled wrong. I don’t want the Tudor grammar police after me 😜
Dr. H …Thats scary your ex is a special ed. Teacher. Your description of him reminds me of a dirty angel narc. He only shows concern if he is noticed for it otherwise he cant be bothered.
Sue and Narc Affair,
Yes, he is the kinda guy who wants to look like he is “such a nice guy” – when he is so utterly full of shit.
He wasn’t nearly as smart as he thought he was lol.
By the middle – end of the relationship he was slipping up at work all the damn time. I was constantly helping him repair relationships with other coworkers – telling him what to say or do – or cleaning up his mess.
He made every single fucking thing miserable. The asshole had such poor judgement I couldn’t even trust him enough to do things you would do with a boyfriend. For example, he was obsessed with out doorsy activities and I’m so not into that. Of course, I would get dragged into shit and I would …no joke…get hurt…or like almost die…each time because he put me in wackadoo situations that you couldn’t even account for.
It was the weirdest thing I had ever experienced with another person. Like….how is it possible that you manage to almost get me killed while we are roller-blading? I’ll tell you how…he lead me down the exit ramp of a parkway and I was FLYING down hill and almost got hit by a car. I was supposed to just trust him – “oh i know where the entrance to the park is”….OH REALLY? LOL
There was no possible way I could react fast enough because I was on fucking roller blades lol! I had to make myself fall to the side (while there was a car coming at me) and of course this car was full of hot guys who were like “omg are you ok” ….
I then of course wanted to go home because once again he proved to me I couldn’t trust his judgment and then he went on a whole rant about how I ruin everything and how I should get over it because I didn’t actually get hit by the car.
Its good HG can see those things as not love thst his mother said and did. My guess is she had that same type of parent/s. Awareness is the start to healing.
HG would you consider writing about your mothers parents? Itd be interesting to see if theres a pattern here.
That will form a part of Little Boy Lost NA.
Hi Yolo,
I hope you are doing well today.
I read your comment this morning. I would like to start out by saying that I kind of felt like you are politely reprimanding us with the statements that you made. I think you’re making assumptions without asking questions so I’d like to address what you said.
By the way I mean no disrespect.
I have stated quite a few times on this blog that we are very limited in knowing that what HG says about himself is the 100% truth. For all we know he could be a world class Psychiatrist that developed an extremely creative blog to get information out about narcissism. Or he could be some extremely intelligent guy sitting in a wheelchair fulfilling his love for writing. None of us really have any idea and can only go by what he tells us. I lean on the side of believing him because he seems very genuine about it but who knows?
With that being said, my opinions are based on that and that alone because I have no other facts. So when RS said in response to my original post, “Me too. His mother created a demon.” My response back was based on what I see and sense from what HG has said and written. I think saying someone is a Demon (although I know what RS was meaning) I think it is a very strong statement. When I said that I don’t think HG is a Demon it didn’t mean that I dismiss all the information that he has provided about Narcissists. People that are demonic, in my opinion are possessed by Satan. I do not see that in HG from the information that I have been given. If you want me to go into that further then I would be happy to.
In this paragraph that you wrote:
“We swap stories on here despite HG stating our stories make him more effective. I am not saying HG will harm us. But, think about Bundy and how he was able to manipulate the authorities into extending his stay of execution by future faking (Additional victims/evidence).”
So are you saying here that HG is lying to us to make himself more effective? Because you used the example of Ted Bundy doing it to the authorities as the second sentence?????
If that is the case then why did you leave this comment earlier in this Article??
“Great compliment from friend. Most, can only see the shell of what used to be a caring, loving heart. Continued Healing and Congrats on slowly removing each scar.HG, we can’t unlearn, unhear, or unsee memories. But, we can learn healthier behaviours and apply them. Thank you for using your abilities to help weaponize us against these wounded souls. What was meant to destroy you has only made you stronger. You are appreciated more than you will ever know.”
As far as Ted Bundy is concerned, I think is was a Demon and I don’t believe that it was “just” pornography that caused him to act out in the way he did (according to Him). There had to be other factors, That was my point.
What façade are we embracing??????
I am not sure about the speaking unlawful acts and doing them hold the same repercussions in judicial system, but I am pretty sure that saying you want to kill wife and almost decapitating her like OJ did do not compare. And honestly I have no idea what that has to do with what NA and I were talking about.
The rest of what you said is just as confusing to me, no offense. I just don’t get it.
Sue, maybe it wasn’t meant for you to get. I don’t recall writing HG is lying to us. H.G. have stated on several occasions that his involvement in the blog has made him more effective. Everything HG has written on here pertaining to narcs have proven to be accurate, precise, helpful, and correct.
WTF, does O.J. have to do with what I said. Every body knows he’s crazy psychopath killer. You are reaching, but for what?
After re-read I noticed I went on a rant that was totally different from my initial comment. There are a whole lot of Ted Bundy’ s and OJ Simpson’s out there and we have to be careful not to be so quick to give a person that make idol threats the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, I need to stop weekend bingeing on crime investigations TV. The next you need to reach go for cake , pie or ice cream.
Okay Yolo,
It’s pointless to try to respond to you ..
I was trying to be the nice Susan but I guess it doesn’t work with bat shit crazy. tips for you: don’t butt in other peoples conversations…. and if YOU want to reach for anything, reach for someone who can teach you how to read and comprehend.
You should take a class on Writing Mechanics,
Subject: Homonymes; here/hear
lol
I think it’s more of a typing on my phone class that I need.. but thanks.
I’d be more than happy to pay for a “how not to be a Fucking bitch” class for you if you’d like? 👍🏻
Keep calm Sue …..don’t give them fuel…..there are no doubt just as many (if not more) narcs lurking on this site, as well as empaths. I am making a mental note of your name ……I wouldn’t want to cross you!!!!!!! Extremely difficult not to react to some of these comments though…..I know because I got one too!!!!! Diva x
I can tell you Diva there are very few narcissists on this site. Some do come by, no doubt about it. I always spot them and now more people here recognise them also based on what they have learned. There are way more empaths and normal here than narcissists. Of course the few narcs that do come by do not know that they are.
Thank you for your response……that is very reassuring to know……no disrespect……..but just one narc on this site is more than enough for me……most of us are here in an attempt to get away from them, not put ourselves in the path of more of the same……….although I have to keep reminding myself that you are one.
Strange how you can spot them HG just from comments they make . Have you ever had a narcissist on here asking you for advice and they are one and you know but they don’t ? Would you tell them that they are one ?
I know my kind. It doesn’t happen from just one comment, but an amalgamation of them and there are certain key phrases and behaviours which always manifest with them here.
Of all the narcissists that have appeared here and I would repeat that they are very few in number, only one has not sought advice. The others have done because naturally they consider themselves to be the victim and do not know what they are.
There is no point telling those particular individuals they are one, because of course they cannot accept it.
Keep in mind of course that a narcissist can be ensnared by a narcissist so in some instances they have been caught up in an entanglement with a narcissist. In other instances it is clear that the other person is not a narcissist and that they are the true victim. This only forms a very small part however.
Thank you for the explaination HG, it’s very interesting . I hope I’m not one 😀
H.G.
I think this may have happened with my ex Husband LMN. His soon to be ex wife (the one he divorced me for) took everything from his house, took out a huge smear campaign on FB, showed up to a Cancer benefit and monopolized it by telling all and sundry how abusive he is, stalked me while I was there for the birth of my first Grandchild, tried to get my children and his family on board with her, to name just a few….to listen to my EH LMN bitch, whine, blame and deny every day for the last 3 weeks literally made me sick (mostly from a hangover because he was driving me to drink)… His side piece is very happy to be the center of attention. Everyone thinks he’s so broken hearted…I know better. It was very interesting to watch all of this standing from the outside. I’m very proud of myself, though. I didn’t fall for or take any of his shit. Being here and reading your books has definitely taught me something. So grateful~
You Go Jody Allen!!!! Good for you!!
Hang in there!!!!! 💜
That’s Diva,
You’re right. I shouldn’t react but I hate bullies with a passion . They can bully me all they want I can take it but when you bully good people that don’t deserve it and I witness it , its crawls up my spine. I’ve always been this way .
When you say you are making a metal note of my name do you mean me??
Hi Sue …….I can resonate with what you stated in that last note to me…….I too feel compelled to respond to some of these comments, not just for myself but on the behalf of others….RS will attest to that. When I said I would make a mental note of your name……I meant that I would be reading your responses in the future…..as a few of your responses made me smile……although I would not have had the balls to say some of those things myself!!!!! Diva x
Thanks Diva,
It’s tough for me. I’m probably a narcissist dream if they wanted provocation fuel from me. I’m better than I used to be but still working on it .
I am the only woman where I work in a sea of quite a few narcissistic men. And the rest have strong N qualities. Not to mention the male chevanism, so I’ve learned to hold my own. And I do have the common sense to know when to back off. Plus I have a narcissistic father. Whew! I surprised I’m alive haha!
So if one wants to dish it out, they had better buckle up ! Hahah!!
Seriously, thank you for understanding and reminding me to stay grounded. It means a lot 💜
Hi Sue many thanks for the last reply that you sent to me……I appreciated it…..as I understand you more than you know……I really do……I was thinking……next time someone has a bit of a personal rant at one of us…….maybe we should just write back “HUSH NOW”…….it seems to work when HG says it……but then again my voice isn’t as deep as that!!!!!!!…….Diva x
Thank you Diva 💜
ZIP IT! would be good too! Hahaha. J/k
HG, this just makes me feel incredibly sad.
Sad for you and every child who grew up in hell.
HG, I imagine that you could add many more if it was possible to remember one’s infancy and first couple of years. I am convinced that some of my ex-narc’s reactions have their root in his mother’s emotional abuse and games when he was a baby. It is difficult to withhold tears when I think of the suffering of the baby.
Love is knowing nothing is good enough
When I read this, it wasn’t the words I read that hurt me it was the “feeling” behind that hurt.
Love is you are not good enough.
That is NOT love! It’s sad that just because someone we love or who raised us said these horrible things, they should be equated with love.
RS
You misunderstood
It was how I interpreted its meaning when being said to a child.
I know this isn’t love….
I apologize and I am glad.
RS
No apologies needed. I understood where you were coming from.
Patricia it’s amazing you have passed on your good values after all that abuse.
I would be interested to hear how you and others managed to construct an abuse-free life after. That’s all of our goal, isn’t it?
I do marvel at the tendency we have to easily be with narcs, for me they alleviate my helpless paralysis at first, cure my harsh self hatred, allow me to break rules that bound me to all prior, and allow me to express the nurturing mother I had been told didn’t exist in me (ha! Who was my mother really talking about? And while I parented all of them).
I have severe chronic fatigue and anxiety particularly as I now recognise I was being hit constantly for 26 years. That’s no life.
I hope this blog and all of us do some work towards ensuring nobody lives in the dark web, doubting themselves, ever again. Do not buy into their hysteria. Do not believe you need them. Have you seen them when they aren’t acting, they are nothing and nobody. They paid the ultimate price for their poor choice.
I can relate to this article more than I would care to admit to…..apart from any nods of approval……love was definitely not taught to me by the two people that created me either…..however…..I am still an empath…….maybe the ones that I thought created me didn’t create me at all!!!!!!!! Thank god…..for that guinea pig!!!!!
diva are you like me, the only one in a narc family?
No…..I had a much older sister that was a empath and I stuck to her like glue….if she was not around I would alienate myself as best as I could…..I knew something was not right but I could not fathom it at the time. I am only just starting to realise, as I read this blog, that I have some narc traits of my own…..however this shouldn’t really come as any big surprise all considering….but fortunately the empathy is there and if you have that then the rest can be worked on……well that is what I am telling myself anyhow!!!!
Yes, there are so many holes in what they can do or feel that you know something is wrong but end up just bypassing it. It’s not until you analyse what is normal for you to expect that you count the toll of what you missed!
I do wonder if I’d have had an empath around whether I’d have gone to them. I was brainwashed to be proud of being staunchly independent and isolated, as “safe” and “good”.
Thanks to HG I’m now translating all those looks and comments I thought were concern, as “is the stupid appliance still conned?”
To survive I just ceased existing and thought when they felt good then I was feeling good.
When people talking about healing and returning to being yourself, I feel this may be impossible for me to do. Nobody has looked at me or interacted with me. I just performed my mother’s unmet needs or desires. I wasn’t even there and they laughed and laughed about me being in so much pain. I didn’t save myself because I was in shock and blamed myself for the constant hatred.
I don’t even know how to enjoy anything! All of my memories of “feeling” are of me turning to mother for her stage direction: “mum how do I feel?”
She must have threatened my life enough to achieve that level of control.
I find it absolutely flattering you would think I was the real HG Tudor hiding behind a fake profile. This has absolutely made my day. I feel important to be mistaken for someone as brillant as HG Tudor, which is impossible. It only goes to show, HG #! fan, is truly, HG Tudors # 1 fan. HG Tudor being a Greater Elite, is a intelligent, smart, and all around perfect man that he is, only has the best of the best.
HG Tudors #1 fan
I wouldn’t be surprised if this was ED with a condescending screen name ..
I can assure you Sues423 it is not. If ED come a calling, HG always knows.
Ah! 10-4, noted
Who or what is ED?
Blogger…. “Emotion Detective”
That’s generous.
Erectile Dysfunction??????? Sorry in advance HG…..are you sure you are not older than me!!!!!!!
Diva! Hahahaha. Now that’s too funny!!!
No offense either. Lol
I am so happy that you are so flattered, that I have made your day and that you feel so important. I do try to bring out the best in people. I have noted some of your comments to others both past and present on this site and I now have no doubt that you are indeed HG Tudors #1 Fan. The only thing I would add, is that you should add the word “delusional” in there somewhere……unfortunately some people bring out the worst in me!!!!!
HG1F Where have you been all this time? While I totally agree with your declarations, I am puzzled as to why you’ve been silent for so long and yet now feel the need to declare your love and admiration? Isn’t true love one that remains consistent? What prompted such fevered proclamations now? Did Mr. Tudor not deserve praise and support before? Tsk tsk. I believe you’ve been slacking on #1 Fan duties. That title has to be earned honey. It is not easily obtained. Try harder.
Pfft! We all know that the lovely LOVE lays claim to that title.
Begone pretender.
Thank you Flicka! Sorry, things got messy but I had to rip the ‘HG’s Biggest Fan’ tiara out of her hair. 👑 I understand the heady feeling of wearing it, but it is MINE MINE MINE! 😁
Anyhoo, all is calm now. We can carry on.
I’ve got your back my sweet!
Thank you Flicka ❤ I will share my tiara with you… But only for a little a bit 😉
A genuine, HG Tudor #1 fan does not share. Not ”little ‘bit” in (your words) not never. So get back in line. There is only one #1!
There is no tiara, but there is a title, and that title as his #1 fan belongs to me. I have been present all along. If anyone wants to go to battle with me; speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Always & forever, HG Tudors #1 fan
💣⚔️🔪🔫🔥
Yawn. Did you say something?
But is he a fan of yours HG#1?
Good one MLA! Great question !!
Turn those tables missy!! 😜
Ooooo Ooo!!!! (raising my hand). I do! I do!!!
I wanna go to battle!!! Hehehe!!!
HGT#1F
When did things become a battle?
Why so aggressive?
Hg’s #1fan is probably…… himself. After all, he is a narcissist 😂
Ha ha, no that is MatriNarc, obviously.
Lol.. ok got me HG. Fair point:)
Just want to make things clear that I would never consider someone else’s personal experiences as drama. Hearing what others have gone through and hg’s responses to questions asked is why I follow this blog. My drama comment was in reference to people’s opinions on what others comment. I appreciate each and everyone of you. OMG hg….what if it was really matrinarc?
Star
Seriously do you actually hear yourself? Do you really contemplate that he goes by another name?
When in the world would he find the time to do that is my first question? He has a Twitter, FB, YT, this blog, email and audio consults and let’s not forget a personal and professional life.
Ya I believe he is HGT#1F, NOT I don’t care if he is a narcissist he doesn’t have the time, as there is only 24 hours in a day. So unless he has found a way to manipulate time, It just isn’t a viable comment.
Now after all that I really do hope you are kidding. I am desensitized at the moment and taking everything in a very literal sense.
Oh lol no no no. I did not mean he was going under another name:) I am aware he is not. Sometimes when one texts things the meaning comes out wrong. I am pretty sure( I hope) HG understood how I meant that
I do.
Good, I am glad HG:)
Star
Lol I am sure he does, he has a sixth sense. Mine on the other hand are seriously desensitized at the moment.
Twilight, I did not write that comment in such a way that it was entirely clear, and I see how it could be taken different:) I am a very devout follower of HG, and would also defend his honour with every ounce of my being:)
Star
I do understand, defending HG even this I understand.
This thou wasn’t defending him. I want to understand why another claiming to be a fan, yet telling others in an aggressive way they are #1 and no other can be and they don’t share. I can respect this, yet being this possessive shows them to be in a very different light. I am hoping it is only because of what they went through and the possessiveness is a safety net for them.
If not one can hold this position and still be respectful to others.
Twilight, well said:)
HG has stated, a gazillion times, he only posts under his OWN name, and I believe him… Case Closed…
Oh LOVE – that’s the sweetest thing you could ever offer – I know how much it means to you!
HGT1F – It’s not how you view yourself that matters but how others view you.
❤ Flicka ❤
Love is not pain
Patricia: Real love is not any of these things. These horrible and sad things cannot exist in the presence of real love.
I agree. I have only ever known “real love” as a mother although I was parented in a similar way to Mr. Tudor.
It’s a good thing that you could show Love as a mother even though you were not shown love by your mother. That is very admirable. I am so sorry that you were not shown it as a child.
Rs..i was going to say that very thing thats its a good thing she can be a nurturing mother bc when youve not had that its very difficult to just have a quality you didnt learn or experience(narcissism a prime example). My narc mother was not as manipulative when i was a young child. She was trying to survive her environment with a cheating husband and overbearing narc mother. She did show me some nurturing but as the years went by shes gotten worse and thats what ive read is narcissism gets worse.
AH OH I do catch on……eventually…lol
It is not suppose to be pain, but it is. People we love disappoint us and it can cause pain. The love for our pets, they leave us and it causes pain. I think I just want to have respect and keep the love for the movies and story books.
AHOH
I’ll join you on that thought.
To love is to experience pain but healthy real love is worth it. Narcissists find it impossible to love bc their minds wiring was f’ed with during childhood. They developed differently as a result.
My narcs admitted he wont get a cat or dog bc hes afraid of when they die and the pain of the loss. I believe him on that. I know he can connect a true bond with animals unlike humans.
Love can be painful but youre not living if you hide from ever experiencing it.
Mine says the same about why he won’t have a pet , I do believe he genuinely likes animals and this is proven as he has done things for animals . But I also think he’s too selfish to look after an animal fulltime and would resent spending the money , true animal lovers make sacrifices for their animals he too selfish .
NA My animals get my love. My sisters are important to me. My brothers are too, one more than the other.
I can understand and accept that people who love us will disappoint or hurt us sometimes and yes death is very painful when you love someone. I just finally understand what Mr; Tudor has been teaching, all the horrible bullshit abuse disguised as love was the furthest thing from it.
hear! hear!
This was hard to read, HG. Super Empath feeling for you. I remember when I was 16 studying for my driver’s license I flunked my temps exam which very few people do. I was determined to make up for it when I took my actual driving exam. I scored two perfect 100s and the examiner said my parallel parking was so good I didn’t even need to complete the actual park against the curb. He could tell by the angle at which I had prepared to back into the spot that my calculations had been perfect.I was so elated I went running in to tell my matrinarc whose response was to snap at me and say, “Just remember, you’re no better of a driver today than you were yesterday.” I will never forget that.
OMG! No wonder this world is such a mess. 3/4 of the population was raised this way. I am so sorry, Laurie. I am very proud of you. I can’t parallel park for the life of me. (I did to pass my drivers test but in Arizona there is never a chance for practice)
That was harsh but in retrospect she did speak the truth. My mother did the same to me when I put on some makeup and walked out of my room. “OH MY GOD, you look like a clown! Go wash your face!” I was so embarressed and I went back in and washed the makeup off my face. I walked back out and she was kind in her words and told me I had natural beauty and to not cover it up. She said I will one day need makeup to enhance what I no longer would have or to cover what I do not want. She pointed out that I had youth and to never cover it.
But the damage was done.
This might be why I wear very little makeup. I was nearly 30 when I used foundation and this was only when I really dressed up. I wear full face about 20 times a year.
Love is the warm feeling inside when I hug a puppy, or someone I care deeply about. It’s warmth to me, like being under the sun.
YES! I will NOT let people who have never known love tell me what love is.
Shook me when I first read that… still emotional… you have come far, and you have achieved much… love is letting the buck stop with you.
Deeply moving and a terrific read, HG, this insight into the abyss of your childhood. Some of the things on your list were taught to me too…
I could add to your list:
Love means not to complain if your younger sisters wear your clothes.
Love means to accept that mommy reads your diary and tells everyone about it.
Love means to invent things in order to get attention.
Unlike you, HG, I became a Truth-Seeker-Empath, with some narcissistic traits perhaps…
Thank you so very much!
Sad thats how love is seen by the narc. My ex’s sister died because she was trying so desperately to get back with her ex husband of 20 years. She was completely devastated, because she knew her actions drove him to divorce her. She ended up marrying someone she knew from high school (narcs always do). She was never happy with him, as she always complained about him, to the rest of the family. She didn’t live to long after that, due to drug abuse. My ex’s whole family is very dysfunctional, they enable, hurt, manipulate, and blame the wrong person for calling it what it is. I’m so glad to get out!! Escape from the madness, they call normal. I wonder how long my ex will survive, without his empaths’ fuel, (he kept sucking up for 25 years). I can’t believe I was even married for that long. I can say this, “I’m happy for leaving and I feel better”. I will never marry again!!
Hi slc000918, narcs marry people they knew in high school ? Why do you say this ?
After reading this hg…I want to go hug my girls and never let them go.
My daughter is my best friend and I would die for her. (she says I am her best friend as well. “no one gets me like you do”) I have hugged, kissed and loved her her whole life. I can’t imagine my life without her in it. I feel like she was my reason to be born.
Hg…I am truly sorry that what you wrote is what love means to you. It really is so much more. Very powerful article.
I think HG needed much more approval and hugs as a child. I wish there was a way that could be done. I want to slap his mother! (sorry HG)
One of my sons ( he was 7 at the time) said about my Ex Narc “Mom, I don’t think anyone ever hugged him when he was a boy”. And yet, I was “loved” in some of these same horribly abusive ways as a child and have only ever felt compassion for literally every creature alive.
These blogs are giving me a lot of flashbacks. I must have been 5 years old when my parents were explaining why I deserved abuse. The normalised being hit and being sacrificed to the mercy of an abuser’s whims as being loving. I felt sick in my stomach.
My mother stopped abusing me for a time, I think she did feel guilt. But her jealousy won. She told me, “you’ll have to fend for yourself just like we all did. Don’t think you’re getting special treatment.” That was how she excused herself.
Then proceeded to smile as she continued her campaign for the rest of my life. The dissonance led me to become addicted to performance to get positive regard and respect. At home I ceased being human and became an energy firm that had cause and effect. It was what I noticed myself to be to the narcissist. Something that influenced their changing states. Not a real person.
I became sickly and weak without passion and got rewarded for this.
I think my parents are terribly weak. Control is so boring. Nobody is there in our lives to never abandon us. It’s impossible.
I never grew up with my sociopathic father like my brothers and sister did but one brother that was sexually abused by him turned out so differently. He has two sons and a daughter and loves them more than life itself and says he will never treat his children the way he was treated by my father. Just like you, Patricia. The abuse stops with you and the abuse stopped with him. It is not a trate to pass on to another generation.
Violet, I am so sorry to hear your story. Abuse as a child changes us in so many ways, it just amazed me how differently we all turn out.
RS YES!! I told myself from the time I was small that I would do better by my kids and although I walked into relationships with Narcissists EVERY time……my boys KNOW what love and compassion is and are becoming amazing young men who wouldn’t dream of abusing. At least I gave them that.
Can you slap mine while you’re at it?
Who are you to say what treatment as a child, HG should have received? HG is perfectly fine the way he is. Your bad judgment of HG, and verbal attack is just a reminder of abuse he endured as a child. You should slap yourself ,while pondering the thought, of slapping his mother. Why are you sorry?
“The Lesser of two Evils”
RS, children these days. 🙄Lol
If anyone should be slapped it should be you..
I volunteer!!
😄Thanks Sues423! I think HG has hundreds of number one fans. ( how dare she claim that title) 😄
Here Here RS!!!!! 👍🏻
It’s ‘hear hear’ by the way.
Thanks Dad. I appreciate the correction.
😂That cracked me up!!
Touche!!!!!!
HG #1 fan,
Hey you! I think it’s very compassionate and empathetic of you to stand up for HG – you are clearly a very loyal person – i respect that… but I feel like RS (and I’m assume you’re talking to RS) doesn’t mean to come off as if she is attacking or judging anyone – a lot of the things people say on here can be misperceived because you can’t hear the persons tone or see their body language …
Everyone lets hug it out…
I agree completely DR Quinzel…….I am still convinced that HG Tudor No 1 fan is in fact HG himself…….it makes perfect sense to me……..however as HG has already pointed out I am too emotional, too quick to judge and have a peculiar logic…….isn’t it bizarre that he “can read me like a magazine”……wasn’t that a line in a TS song?????? Apologies in advance if no one understands my peculiar logic….. but it is mostly tongue in cheek English/Irish humour – except that I do sincerely completely agree DR with what you stated on the behalf of RS. RS has my moral support too……she meant no harm……none of us do……
I can categorically state that HGT No 1 Fan is not me. I do not post under any other name than HG Tudor.
Good to know………
You’re welcome
Thank you, Diva, and I did not. I will apologize right here and now to HG’s #1 fan. Let’s all play nice now, ok?
Love for me is …
Caring
Tenderness
Love making
Soothing wounds
Laughter
Enjoyment
Happiness
Fun
Boring but togetherness
Exploration
Endurement
Admiration
Togetherness
Hugs
Kisses
Trust
… for him.. being brought up by his N mom… such a C.t
Cheating
Lies
Boredom
Control
Being put down
Never being good enough
….
I gave it all… he took it and then when he could only fake it back due to his lost soul …
I left but never ever thought the man I gave it all to would do what he has done to me nor his lovely children… whom I miss and adore…
Cleaned my lovely house… had a blast with friends and our kids.. he is hollow… I miss the illusion …I miss me … but slowly I’m back … almost … but scars so many scars and I hope they will fade because today when I meet an old friend from a country I worked at while I was me .. said today that You are the same loving and caring person you have always been ..
That made my day 😊…
And to all of you on this blog and to the Greater HG … just got to love him for what he is doing for us ❤️… despite we know his wounds and his faults …
No anxiety and No remorse .. going to bed in my clean house … my child sound asleep and his lovely father is coming to visit tomorrow.. too bad I don’t love him anymore because he is the kindest person I know (not the N… thank God I never had kids with him)
Great compliment from friend. Most, can only see the shell of what used to be a caring, loving heart.
Continued Healing and Congrats on slowly removing each scar.
HG, we can’t unlearn, unhear, or unsee memories. But, we can learn healthier behaviours and apply them. Thank you for using your abilities to help weaponize us against these wounded souls.
What was meant to destroy you has only made you stronger. You are appreciated more than you will ever know.
“And to all of you on this blog and to the Greater HG … just got to love him for what he is doing for us ❤️… despite we know his wounds and his faults …” Yes. Even though I called him an asshole, I love him for what he is doing for us, despite his wounds and his faults.
What faults does HG Tudor have, what wounds? As for your vulgarity, it only goes to show you are unable to control your anger and emotional thinking. You were so quick to lash out at HG, not knowing their is always two sides to a story. HG Tudor has no faults, HG Tudor is perfect.
Love is HG Tudor,
RS – Don’t bother rising to respond to HG Tudors #1 fan…….it will only amount to giving fuel. If HG is perfect …I am truly a saint…..as are you. x
Stalker~ lol!
I love it! Thank you.
😉 Back @ you! ♡
Guilty. I grew up on Disney movies and I remember pretending to be Ariel in the bathtub. Fact is girls grow up and experience first love, true love and then some of us experience fake love. Sometimes it takes experiencing that fake love to realize that fairy tales do not exist.
Hush now baby, baby, don’t you cry.
Mama’s gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
Mama’s gonna put all her fears into you.
Mama’s gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She won’t let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Mama’s gonna keep baby cosy and warm.
Ooooh baby, ooooh baby, oooooh baby,
Of course mama’s gonna help build the wall.
I’m sorry, H.G. even though it doesn’t matter to you, even though you cannot compute the actual act of someone caring about you and your feelings. I’m sorry these things, and more happened to you. I really do feel your pain.
♡
I do too.
Hi HG, I haven’t read this one before and it saddens me , as do all your posts about your childhood and family but it does not excuse the path you took because when you know better than this monstrous behaviour you should see it for what it is and want to be as different from her as possible out of sheer disgust but you chose a different path when you were old enough to look at this and distinguish right from wrong and you continue to do so . Being like her should be the last thing you would want . This is why I wonder if there is not a genetic component in with the nurture surroundings . I’ve thought about your childhood and I have felt for that innocent little boy and I have thought about my own narcissist and his parents and childhood . He’s like his dad and so is his brother , I believe his father was a narcissist but as the other siblings are not narcissists this could be slightly genetic as his mother has told me about very early behaviour patterns that my narcissist had even as young as 3 years old . Or maybe it’s just how some children are affected more than others . As a small child he was OCD , although there was not a name for it then , he also would not share anything , or even play with toys just keep them pristine and look at them , he didn’t like any kind of change . This was at 3 years old . He was not abused but they all walked on egg shells including they’re mother around the father . The father was also an alcoholic and so is my narcissist .
I wish IF you had a choice and I don’t know if you did but I wish you had chosen to be like the parent You Did Love and not like her
Well, written HG. This is extremely close to what I was taught what love is, but my version did not include having to recite things correctly, and burning forearms with curling irons until the skin melted, crying, and still being sent to school with a bandaid (plaster) on a half inch tall blister that turned black halfway through the day.
P.S. Please complete moderation on my reply from last night to the to the “It’s Hoover Time” repost from November 29,2016 and answer my questions? Pretty please? 🙂
That most definitely isnt love its emotional abuse.