A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 33

A LETTER TOTHE NARCISSIST -THE IDIOT'SLETTER
“FUCKING IDIOT!!!!” can you remember sending me that text? All because I allowed my son’s Dad to tweak times.
Do you still think I’m a “fucking idiot”?
You were part right of course. You must have thought you’d hit the jackpot when I explained how private I am and how I hated confrontation. Perfect.
You broke me. You shattered every element of my being into a million pieces.
You knew what you were doing when you slit your wrists because I tried to leave you.
You knew I would be, from that moment on, emotionally hostage to you. You kidnapped my soul. You had me trapped but did you realise from that moment on I despised you? You repulsed me. Nausea engulfed me whenever you touched my crawling skin.
Not quite the God you believed yourself to be, were you?
Something you should know though – when you break a person’s spirit until they don’t know who they are anymore that person changes. That person starts from scratch. That person can be who they want to be. I could almost thank you for being the catalyst in making me who I am today. Almost.
You underestimated my love for my son. Back then you could’ve, and did do anything you wanted to me but you shouldn’t have messed with my son….
So, what did you think when I walked in the coffee house you were sat in? Did you think I’d run in fear? Of course you did because you’re a bully. But instead I sat at a table behind you and I have to say, I was amused with your squirming and obvious attempts at looking comfortable. Putting your feet up on the sofa and laying yourself fully out on it as if you were at home was pretty hilarious to me. You won’t have noticed other customers nudging each other at your lack of social etiquette as you were you busy pretending to be relaxed and unintimidated. Didn’t fool me though. Yes, the tables have turned.
Did you know I’ve seen your mental health diagnosis and care plan? Of course you don’t know. Again, you underestimated what I was capable of.
BPD hey?  Hmmm. Nice try. Wonder if they’ve seen through the self harming victim mask yet? Wonder if they’ve challenged you about your behaviours? That’s when the diagnoses will change. Others you can control but you lack that same ability in controlling yourself.
 I look forward to my next report….
I feel nothing for you now. And when I say nothing I mean it literally. Neither love nor hate. Neither a dream nor a nightmare. You are neither alive nor dead.
I have no desire for you to read this. This is merely a reflection of a memory.
I don’t chase revenge. I don’t want to hurt you. I have no anger not pity toward you.  I have nothing for You.
You don’t exist.
Best wishes
The fucking idiot

15 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 33

  1. K says:

    Dear The fucking idiot,
    The sentiments detailed in your missive are compatible to mine and demonstrate an intimacy that is only understood and shared by those who have travelled the same bewildering path. Tricked by an illusion, our love misled us into the labyrinthine and baffling world of the narcissist’s false reality. As we meandered through their convoluted corridors they broke our hearts and shattered our reality into a million pieces. Our kidnapped souls ransomed for fuel without surcease. The light has fractured the deception, they don’t exist and we are no longer held hostage by their endless and destructive loop. Warmest regards, K

  2. lansealan says:

    I like this letter…

  3. Noname says:

    “…I feel nothing for you now. And when I say nothing I mean it literally. Neither love nor hate. Neither a dream nor a nightmare. You are neither alive nor dead…

    …I don’t chase revenge. I don’t want to hurt you. I have no anger not pity toward you. I have nothing for you. You don’t exist…”.

    Now I see the indifference. Nothing would stop your healing process from now. That’s good.

    Don’t call yourself a “F*cking Idiot”. You are better than that. Much better.

  4. Laura says:

    Perfectly said!!! I couldn’t have written it better myself. It’s amazing once you stumble upon the Narc knowledge how things turn around. I feel more empowered than I ever thought I was capable of. It’s actually ironic how ending up in the worst possible relationship can end up being the most beautiful life changing experience for an empath. I’ve found myself for the first time and will never let anyone take that away from me!

  5. Houdini says:

    This is fabulous but she should have signed it the fucking genius. I feel absolutely nothing for my ex as well. My logic took over and now I am free. Thank you for your help HG.

  6. narc affair says:

    Very to the point and whose the fucking idiot? its the narc bc they fail to see where theyre going wrong in life. The fact he tried to act comfortable and unaffected by your presence speaks to the fact hes hiding so much….shame deep pitiful shame for how he treated you and others. They deny it and pretend its not their like their repressed emotions but its there in the creature of their conscience.
    What really stood out to me is how your feelings changed for him yet he was oblivious. I found this to be my case. So much has changed i no longer feel the same intensity of feelings towards my narc bc of things hes done to me over the years. I still love him but i also loathe him in a lot of ways. When you hit that point of no return in your case the narc messing with your son, theres no turning back. Thats when you know its over and will never be the same. Thats the deciding factor.
    Good riddance to toxic people in your life and hello to healthy happy relationships.

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      Something you should know though – when you break a person’s spirit until they don’t know who they are anymore that person changes. That person starts from scratch. That person can be who they want to be. I could almost thank you for being the catalyst in making me who I am today.

      💯💙💜💚❤️✔️

  7. Overthinker says:

    Love it

  8. Scarlet says:

    Sorry I meant who is it to ?

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      Going to cut across:) It’s a letter from one of “us” to one of “them.” Spot on I may add. Been called every pet name in the book. F’ing idiot rolls off their tongue or text with as much delight as sweet heart. Both are as valid. Next.

  9. Scarlet says:

    Hi HG, who has written this and you is it to ? Thank you

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The Fucking Idiot has written it (not their real name obviously). No, it is not to me.

  10. Windstorm2 says:

    “when you break a person’s spirit until they don’t know who they are anymore that person changes. That person starts from scratch. That person can be who they want to be.”

    This is very true. It was my experience as well. I’ve ended up much better than I ever would have imagined because of this. Well said.

    1. loveyourselfnowgirl says:

      This gives me hope. Thanks for the post.

    2. narc affair says:

      Hi windstorm…i fully agree! That is so true that we emerge as a new person for those that are able to heal. We begin again and become a better version.

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